Can I Fuck To My Friend's Band?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about mercy rules, Jason Statham, baseball, cereal, bad roommates, and more....
You’re Goddamn Right It’s Layering Season
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
And Now, A Modern Drug Deal Gone Wrong
Today, we’re talking about drugs, buffets, shitty NFL stock music, and more....
If You’re Defending Tom Brady’s Cheap Martyr Routine, You’re Fucking Pathetic
The scene is good. In case you missed it, have a gander below at the now-infamous scene from the new Paul Rudd show Living With Myself where Tom Brady strolls out of a massage parlor:...
This Post Could Give You Just The Spark You Needed
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
What Is The Best Minimum-Wage Job?
Today, we’re talking about napkins, doctors, baseball, stadium food storage methods, and more....
Crumbs At The Bottom Of The Cereal Bag, Ranked
(NOTE: Only ranked by how these perform in a bowl with milk. If you wanna use them as an ingredient in some nouveau dessert brittle, that’s a different list.)...
The Onside Kick Is Dead. Here’s How To Fix It.
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Who Is Your Favorite Athlete Not On Your Favorite Team?
Today, we’re talking about getting eaten by a whale, state names as first names, typos, Hitler, butter knives, and more....
The NBA Doesn’t Give A Fuck About People
The NBA already knows the math. The NBA already knows that whatever price it may pay for aligning themselves with the Chinese government against one of its own teams’ employees—all because Rockets GM Daryl Morey tweeted out a show of support for protesters in Hong Kong—will be nothing compared to wh...
You’re Not An Owner
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The Internet Ruined “Dude”
Today, we’re talking about un-Googleable band names, your groin, mustard-drenched testicles, and more....
You Cannot Fuck Up Visiting New Orleans
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
I’ll Be Goddamned If Chili Is Ever Considered A Health Food
Today, we’re talking about pickles, basketball hoop design, BIG WEDDING, and more....
Kirk Cousins Isn’t Worth A Shit
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The Fuck Is Wrong With Announcers Who Won’t Call A Football A Ball?
Today, we’re talking about trailers, crossing state lines, Sean’s friend Bruce, drunken coaches, and more....
The NFL Has A Painkiller Crisis That It Never Wants To Go Away
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Yes, You Can Refer To Your Favorite Team As “We”
Today, we’re talking about why baseball has no left-handed shortstops, flossing, Worcestershire sauce, toenails for teeth, and more....
Football Is The Last Great American Vice
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Antonio Brown And The Raiders Have Conspired To Ruin Every Goddamn Thing
Let us start with a hearty LOL. The Oakland Raiders traded for downfield savant Antonio Brown during the offseason, handed him $30-plus million in guaranteed money, and now stand ready to piss that investment away in the quickest, most Raiders-like fashion possible. Adam Schefter is now reporting th...