Hook 'em, Danno: Texas Baseball Coach Charged With DWI, Suspended
It's a damn shame that this will be the first time many people hear the name of Augie Garrido. Garrido has won more games than anyone (1,629) and five national championships, but took a big one in the loss column this morning when he was pulled over for DWI. The stop happened around 1 am when one of...
Is That A Caterpillar On Your Forehead Or Is Your Team Still In The Playoffs?
The indefatigable Christmas Ape found the latest fashion craze happening in Baltimore—fake unibrows, in honor of rookie quarterback Joe Flacco. It's actually a charity drive, which is great, because I won't publicly humiliate myself unless it's for a good cause. Or cash. Preferably cash. [Kissing S...
Yes, But How Does The Robot Do In The Shuttle Run?
I'm not a big fan of discussing physical fitness, mainly because I don't have any. So I'm naturally jealous of any robot that rubs that in by doing pushups all up in my face an' shit. Especially when the robot's face is a big as this guy's. But then in the middle of his demo, his arm falls off. And ...
Harangody? More Like Haran-sucky! High Five?
Some highlights from the Syracuse-Notre Dame game, and that large Caucasian fellow playing in South Bend was not one of them. [Fack Youk]...
Rams Hire Steve Spagnuolo, Formerly D-Coor With NY Giants
Two things you should have known about now-former Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. First, to my knowledge, the man has never had sex with a donut....
LeBron Plays The 5-Spot
The Cleveland Cavaliers have played 20 games at home this season; they've won them all. Lebron James headed a makeshift lineup — one that saw him playing 12 minutes at center. James finished the game with 29 points in 43 minutes as the Cavs beat the New Orleans Hornets, 92-78....
LPGA Star, 27, To Marry 39-Year-Old Executive
Cradle-robbing never looked so...comely? Mexico's own Lorena Ochoa, the No. 1 ranked female golfer, has announced plans to get married. Now I know what you're thinking. LPGA star...she's gonna marry a white girl, just like Tiger, right? Actually, it's one of her sponsors....
AFC Title Game May Come Down To Another Controversial Touchdown
A lot's being made of whether the Pittsburgh Steelers could beat any team three times in a season, let alone the Baltimore Ravens. Most of you will remember the controversial Santonio Holmes touchdown that pushed the Steelers past Baltimore in that Week 15 showdown. The goaline catch was originally ...
Tiger Woods Will Speak About Something Besides His Line Of Titanium Drivers
Tiger Woods accepted an invitation to speak this weekend at "We Are One," the inauguration celebration being held this weekend at the Lincoln Memorial. The move is a surprise for the self-proclaimed "Cablanasian," who typically isn't programmed by Nike to participate involved in politics. No one's s...
Another NFL Coach Bites It...And It's Not Herm Edwards
Actually it's...Jon Gruden?!?! The Tampa Bay Buccaneers fired their doll-faced head coach last night. Gruden's Bucs hadn't won a playoff game since winning Super Bowl 37, and had missed the playoffs four of his last six seasons, including a tremendous December collapse this season, starting 9-3 and ...
"Ping, Pong! Someone's In The Door!"
Go ahead and start your Christmas wish list for 2009 [Mental Floss]...
The Punk, Crybaby, Diabetic Quarterback That Is Jay Cutler
Chargers linebacker Matt Wilhelm is an authority on punks. (He played with Maurice Clarett at Ohio State, so his field credentials on the matter are solid)....
Sidney Crosby Gets Carte Blanche For Sucker-Punching Your Genitalia
Good news for fans of nutshots everywhere: The NHL's ridiculous star treatment of the Pittsburgh Penguins' Sidney Crosby continues....
Sammy Sosa Does Not Come To You For A Contract Offer
Sammy Sosa is now 40 years old. And despite hitting a serviceable 21 homers and 92 RBI in limited action in 2007, he didn't play last year, and he probably won't play in 2009, either. Especially when he thinks that teams should be chasing him. These are the misunderstandings that occur when times ge...
Former Bronco Says He Played While High In 2007
Former Broncos left tackle Matt Lepsis said he played the first six games of his last season in football under the influence of drugs. Lepsis, who retired at the end of last season, never failed a drug test during his 11 years in the NFL, but says he practiced that way 10 to 15 times before actually...
Lebron Gets His Back Scratched, And So Do We
Lebron James said the only thing he wanted for Christmas was a back scratcher. "I wanted a back scratcher bad as hell. My girlfriend got me pajamas and a back scratcher."...
Clinton Portis Can Carry The Load, But Can He Carry His Team To The Playoffs?
The Ravens are coming off of a huge win against Philadelphia and a romp against divisional glory hole, Cincinnati, and they're only a game out of their division lead. They're riding high on their resilient Ray Lewis-driven defense and enjoying an incredible rookie year from quarterback Joe Flacco. B...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Meshach Taylor pops out of your mouth......
The Bills Are Pro-Choice About JP Losman, Plus More Avery-kkake In A Super-Sized Blogdome
I got two of these today; this is one of those screenshots announcing that Bills quarterback JP Losman...I'm guessing he was in their version of the Wildcat and they needed a way to document that somehow. Either way, it's a damn fine description of the backup quarterback's woes, as his team has los...
FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...