katiebakes
The Confessions Of A Former Adolescent Puck Tease
In 1999, Katie Baker was a thoroughly self-possessed, hockey-loving 18-year-old headed for Harvard. Or so the older men she met online — and offline — believed....
Barry Melrose Needs A Beer, And Other Observations From The Behatted And Be-Styxed Winter Classic
Our puckhead has returned from Pittsburgh with inside information on Dan Bylsma's hat, an autographed photo of Styx, and the lasting image of Barry Melrose waiting in beerless frustration at the bar....
NHL Winter Classic Report: HOCKEY!
Our puckhead Katie Bakes is dicking around scenic Pittsburgh for the NHL Winter Classic. She has filed the following icy report....
I'm Kind Of Starting To Enjoy Sidney Crosby, And Other Random <em>NHL 24/7</em> Observations
Last night was the second of four HBO 24/7: Penguins/Capitals: The Road to the Winter Classic episodes. Here, a few thoughts more disjointed than Matt Hendricks's face....
A Heartfelt Essay From A Giants Fan About Yesterday's Loss To The Eagles
The Giants broke me yesterday in much the same way Ernest Hemingway described going broke: Slowly, then all at once. I can't read any papers today or turn on the radio. I've been snippy with coworkers who dared share their sympathies....
30 Years. 30 Movies. 30 One-Sentence Reviews.
If you missed any of the films in ESPN's 30 for 30 series, this collection of on-point one-sentence reviews is a handy guide. (On Without Bias: "The Vitamin C of the 1980s did not prevent scurvy.") [Hellafied Gangsta Lean]...
Area Man Has One Night Stand With Hockey Team From Phoenix In Town On Business
Former collegiate goaltender Tom Fenton (2008-2009 record: 1-12-1, 3.60 GAA) was plucked from a barber's chair yesterday and whisked to Madison Square Garden to play emergency backup for the Coyotes. "Kinda thought my friends were pulling a prank," he said....
Tonight's NHL 24/7 Premiere: "You'll Have To Hide The Kids"
Tonight is the premiere of HBO's straightforwardly-titled series 24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic. Want to know exactly which expletives Bruce Boudreau spat at his Caps during their 7-0 loss to the Rangers on Sunday? Now you will....
Select Your Own All-Time Greatest Jewish-American Basketball Team!
Hey, this is funnnn! It spits out customized scouting reports and everything. (My chosen ones, The Stars of David Stern, have "terrible" chemistry thanks to the "notoriously testy" Art Heyman.) Gregg Easterbrook should make one for the entertainment industry. [Tablet/FreeDarko]...
The Confessions Of A Misery Voyeur: Your Guest Jamboroo
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Our own Katie Baker is filling in for him this week....
Prep Schoolers Up In Arms Over Plebeian Reporter Pointing Out That Their Crappy Football Team Sucks
The Sidwell Friends football team has been outscored 373-43 this season. When Washington City Paper columnist Dave McKenna pointed that out, he learned that the school's tony pansies are way feistier on the Internet than they are on the field....
The End Of Summer: Surfer Andy Irons Dies Young
Andy Irons, the surfing champion whose rivalry with Kelly Slater galvanized the sport, recently told friends he no longer wanted to die young. But he did, yesterday, of reported complications from dengue fever. One of them may have been a methadone overdose....
Eddie Belfour's Mask Denies Responsibility For <em>Hell Freezes Over</em>
This slideshow about goalie masks is surprisingly educational! Sample: "So resonant was this mask that it inspired the punk band Chixdiggit's 1996 paean to lost love, "(I Feel Like) Gerry Cheevers (I Got Stitch Marks on My Heart)." [NYT]...
Eli Manning's Wife Will Soon Have Two Children To Care For
St. Vincent's is no longer, but there's no stopping the Eli & Abby Manning Birthing Center: the pair is reportedly expecting a baaaaaaby. (Knowing Eli, it was a low wobbler past coverage.) Peyton will not be the cool uncle. [NYPost]...
Stereotypical Laxer Is Not At All Stereotypical, Says Stereotypically Annoying <em>New York Times</em> Story
Yesterday's NYT slobjob of professional laxer Paul Rabil argues that he represents "a different way to think about lacrosse players." He's a big shaggy-haired white dude who went to an all-boys Catholic school in Maryland. Wow, what a brogue....
Stories That Don't Suck: The Epic Tale Of America's Greatest Ping-Pong Hustler
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: newly minted Man Booker recipient Howard Jacobson on ping-pong's "boldest adventurer," Marty Reisman....
Mike Danton, David Frost, And The Return Of The Unkillable Hockey Svengali
Two days after the St. Louis Blues were ousted from the 2004 playoffs, forward Mike Danton was arrested for conspiring to kill his part-agent-part-mentor-all-menace David Frost. Six years later, both are back into hockey: Danton in college, and Frost incognito....
Hockey To Get The <i>Hard Knocks</i> Treatment Too
HBO will film the Capitals and Penguins this December for a four-episode Hard Knocks-esque miniseries. Will there be Ryanian pottymouthage? "You might hear some salty language with a little Canadian or Russian flair," said a network exec. моргала выколю, падла!...
"ITS 2 AM, SO I WILL END WITH DISGUST FOR YOUR AWFUL BEHAVIOR," And Other Emails About The U.S. Open
Well, our little rant about the festival of ineptitude that was the television coverage of the U.S. Open men's final seemed to touch a nerve....
Day One At Dink Inc.: A Woman Begins Her Odyssey Through Sports Gambling's Underworld
Beth Raymer moved to Vegas in 2001, hoping to land a cocktail-waitressing job. Instead, she wound up the girl Friday to a gambler named Dink, from whom she learned that one "takes" the dog, "lays" the favorite, and never, ever steals....