Am I Gross For Eating My Own Foot Skin?
Dear Leigh, I’ve tasted the skin that I’ve peeled from my feet after using Baby Foot. I know it’s so gross but the whole experience is cathartic. But like, how gross is it?...
The Results Of Taking A Fastball To The Nuts Are As Horrifying As You Can Imagine
Today’s column is about Yadier Molina’s exploded nuts....
Am I Gross For Sucking Snot Out Of My Baby's Nose?
Dear Leigh, I have sucked snot out of my kids’ noses with my mouth when they were too little to blow it. I spit it out, for the record. Am I gross?...
How The Cold Can Destroy Your Mind And Your Body
Today’s column is about freezing to death....
A Serena Williams Practice Is Where Discipline Meets Greatness
It’s a gray afternoon on Feb. 7 and the windows of the U.S. Cellular Center in Asheville, North Carolina are decorated with large, human-sized tennis balls. Crows pick through the trash near a sign announcing the symphony, and someone has vomited coleslaw in the mulch near a satellite truck. It is o...
All The Nasty Tricks MRSA Uses To Fuck You Up
Today’s column is about skin-colonizing bacteria....
What Happens To A Brain When It Gets Rattled
Today’s column is about brain injuries....
When Clint Malarchuk Almost Bled Out On The Ice
Today’s column is about exsanguination....
Everything You Never Really Wanted To Know About Cauliflower Ear
Today’s column is about fucked-up ears....
Trash, Like Feelings, Can Become A Sad Wet Fire When Buried
Today’s column is about mysterious trash fires....
Baseball Is The Horniest Sport
Football has hulking men in tights and shoulder pads, running headlong into walls of opposing meat to protect a beloved (quarterback). MMA features the sweaty and nearly nude, engaged in what is often best described as aggressive hugging. Soccer is the game of the beautiful ones, filled with passion...
Why Running Sometimes Makes You Shit Blood
Today’s column is about bloody shits....
How To Fuck In The Woods, And Other Survival Tips
Today’s column is about enjoying the great outdoors....
Welcome To Meat Sack, A Guide To Sports-Related Body Horror
The ecosystem of the human body does not want for complexity, nor do the myriad of idiot things we inflict upon it. This is perhaps nowhere more apparent than in the world of sports, where athletes willingly submit their bodies, like monks to their vows, in pursuit of Larry having a nice, drunken ni...
Roadkill Crafts: A Squeamish Beginner's Guide
If I’m in your car, and we’re not in a hurry, chances are that at some point, I’m going to ask you to pull over so that I can solemnly poke a stick at a dead thing along the side of the road. If we’re in my car—which is usually equipped with nitrile gloves, hand sanitizer, and garbage bags—and the d...
Prince Fielder's Naked <em>ESPN</em> Cover Is Sexy As Hell
One of the most beloved tropes in sports lore is the Triumph of the Unexpected Body. When I think about those stories, I think about cheering on Muggsy Bogues from my friend's living room when I was eight or nine. I knew nothing about basketball, but seeing that small man dart around the court alo...
Greg Maddux Taught Me How To Watch Baseball
Having purchased a Hall of Fame ballot, which we filled out in accordance with the wishes of our readers, we're reviewing the merits—and relative lack of merits—of all 36 players on this year's ballot. All entries in the series can be found here....
GSP Is Being Honest; It's The Best Thing That Could Happen To Fighting
So UFC welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre is disappearing from the fight game for an indefinite and unspecified period of time, relinquishing his title and taking time to rest from a career that's seen him spend more time fighting in the UFC than anyone else ever has. Whether or not he ever ret...