![](https://images.deadspin.com/17jcxm3lnjqwmpng.png)
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![The French: Not Exactly What You'd Call "Goal Oriented"](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5aarkrd2u3jpg.jpg)
The French: Not Exactly What You'd Call "Goal Oriented"
Les Bleus have pretty much proven at this point that they deserve their creepy, loser coach. Their lackadaisical 2-nothingness loss to Mexico Thursday was probably the worst French capitulation since the Germans outflanked the Maginot Line. And people were shocked....
![Tiny Motors Are The New Growth Hormones](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5abbb9ibhbjpg.jpg)
Tiny Motors Are The New Growth Hormones
Tour De France officials will be inspecting all riders' frames for concealed motors this year, thanks to this Swiss Saxo Bank rider. (Thought about adding something like, "leave it to a Swiss bank employee" but Saxo Bank is technically Danish.)...
![What Is North Korean Striker Jong Tae Sae Actually Crying About?](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5abbbbfrw4jpg.jpg)
What Is North Korean Striker Jong Tae Sae Actually Crying About?
(Aside from Manute Bol.) Anyway, a headscratcher I've been puzzling over for a few days now: what's with sobbing guy on the North Korean national team? Guy has never even had to live in North Korea!...
![Ritual Pierogi Guy Sacrifice Sure To Fix Things In Pittsburgh](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5aatjt7ayqpng.png)
Ritual Pierogi Guy Sacrifice Sure To Fix Things In Pittsburgh
What do you do when you're on a 12-game losing streak, rank 30th in hits, are dead last in the National League Central, and have such a defunct PR apparatus that you have to rehire your GM in secret?...
![Manute Bol Is Dead](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5aaviw8m0pjpg.jpg)
Manute Bol Is Dead
From complications of a skin disease he contracted in Sudan. Don't let me ruin your LeBron James Appreciation Day, but for a good cry read this....
![Don't Let Notre Dame Touch You There, Big Ten](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f0xf58erfifjpg.jpg)
Don't Let Notre Dame Touch You There, Big Ten
So Lou Holtz finally wants Notre Dame in The Big 10. I never took him for a bandwagoner, but his assessment that the conferences are eventually going to split into a few mega-conferences isn't lacking for evidence....
![Sorry Scott, We Are All Malians Now](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5ab5e0uzpcpng.png)
Sorry Scott, We Are All Malians Now
I too felt a twinge of something almost like patriotism when I read of the latest attempt to burgle America of its greatness carried out by a shockingly brazen African thug. Then I remembered the thug in the White House....
![Why We Must Invade Mali](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5ab1g28ocgjpg.jpg)
Why We Must Invade Mali
FIFA's review of Koman Coulibaly won't answer the question of how someone with two lazy eyes and a day job as financial auditor for the notoriously corrupt Malian government was allowed to be a World Cup official in the first place....
![Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5gjn4jv3yhjpg.jpg)
Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?
And no, it is not the guy in the picture, I am fairly certain. But the beauty of Malcolm Gladwell is, I now know who Adonal Foyle is!...
![Yes Virgins, Shaq Did Have Sexual Relations With Gilbert Arenas' "Baby Mamma." You Can Blame Feminism For That.](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5gkcs6gf69png.png)
Yes Virgins, Shaq Did Have Sexual Relations With Gilbert Arenas' "Baby Mamma." You Can Blame Feminism For That.
Last month, news reports began to surface that a centimillionaire professional athlete may have been unfaithful to his wife. Next someone's going to tell me Barney Frank is sodomist....
![Zach Lund Is Not One Of Those Balding Dudes Who Shave Their Heads Because They Are Like, In Denial About The Bald Thing](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f10ielb2lmpjpg.jpg)
Zach Lund Is Not One Of Those Balding Dudes Who Shave Their Heads Because They Are Like, In Denial About The Bald Thing
Did you know propecia could be used to mask commonly exploited performance-enhancing drugs? But here's why (besides, like, duh?) to "just say no" to this "folly of follicles", courtesy top-ranked "skeleton racer" Zach Lund…...
![Who <i>Really</i> Chose Rio To Host The 2016 Olympics](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17ita4f82ulpsjpg.jpg)
Who <i>Really</i> Chose Rio To Host The 2016 Olympics
Naturally the New Yorker does its best to bury the lead, but there are plenty of clues in this week's cover story "Gangs of Rio" as to why the world's #1 city for "violent international deaths" won the 2016 Olympics....
![Jayson Williams Walks Into A Bar…](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f11odyuzrdvjpg.jpg)
Jayson Williams Walks Into A Bar…
I like to support small business, and Marshall Stack, the tavern directly opposite my apartment building, is no exception. But a few weeks ago the "Stack," as regulars call it, received a visit from a truly exceptional man....
![Why Obama's Olympic Loss Is Freedom's Gain](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f11obzxcsk6jpg.jpg)
Why Obama's Olympic Loss Is Freedom's Gain
No surprise here: the simpering cultural sycophants of the granola media are declaring the Obamajunta's disastrous loss of the Olympics bid a victory for bossa nova music and that poor man's Hugo Chavez. How quaint!...
![Cynthia Not The Only Thing "Notably Absent" From This Scenario, Big Media](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f12qn6jn9g5jpg.jpg)
Cynthia Not The Only Thing "Notably Absent" From This Scenario, Big Media
TKACIK: how are we supposed to have an opinion on kate hudson and arod PAREENE: hahaha i don't know TKACIK: apparently the news here is that "very public smooching puts to rest rumors that Rodriguez, 33, and Hudson are just close friends" PAREENE: i know how often i had heard the rumor that they wer...
![The Patriotism Of "Mutton-Bustin'": The Young Men In The Arena Clinging Bravely To Our Last Chance At Global Competitiveness](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f12qdb728zzjpg.jpg)
The Patriotism Of "Mutton-Bustin'": The Young Men In The Arena Clinging Bravely To Our Last Chance At Global Competitiveness
Long before they became known as beacons of transgender pride and abortion on demand the great Republican Teddy Roosevelt observed the nation's cities to be poor places to raise children, because "most good games are against the law."...
![Oh Look, The X-Games Are On](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f12qj8b0f8vpng.png)
Oh Look, The X-Games Are On
So ESPN is still putting on this thing? I hope they're still giving the Great Outdoor Games a run for their ratings. Just kidding,* I'm actually totally transfixed by a dramatic video currently up on the X-Games site....
![Be A Man, McMackin, Everyone's Living On Less These Days](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5jno3woc28jpg.jpg)
Be A Man, McMackin, Everyone's Living On Less These Days
Pay cuts are clearly part of the "new reality." Like this commodities trader will probably take a haircut on his guaranteed $100 million bonus, just because his bank owes taxpayers $44 billion. Then there is Greg McMackin....
![Racist Redskins Owner Did Not Listen To His Wife, And Now He Is In Hell](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f12qdbbqi4mjpg.jpg)
Racist Redskins Owner Did Not Listen To His Wife, And Now He Is In Hell
Tomorrow's Washington Post magazine unearths some letters from the Redskins archives to convey "the innocence of this long ago era" when a racist named George Preston Marshall married an actress (pictured) who convinced him to move his football team south....
![Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j5mdtw3qbsfjpg.jpg)
Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...