Teen Guilty of "Horsing Around!" (Also Probably Seriously Mentally Ill)
Wacky sporting news for you crazy kids! "Goshen teen charged with having sex with horses."...
No, Shaq Didn't
Like many of you, I went to elementary school, high school and college. I took such and such classes, earned such and such grades, and amassed such and such degrees....
Minnesota "Wild Fire" Pun Used in Headline
Oh, here is some non-skeleton racing news, for you! Everything the Minnesota Wild own burst into flames in Canada, yesterday. Everything! Also they all have the flu....
The Rich Eisen Problem
America is tired. We are, we're told, by the television, on the "wrong track." We are worried about debt. About our children. We worry, I think, most of all, about the NFL Network broadcasting important late-season games....
Redskins Owner Surprisingly Tone Deaf on Issue of Racial Sensitivity
White guy Dan Snyder fired white guy Vinny Cerrato and immediately replaced him with white guy Bruce Allen, so that he can bring in either white guy Mike Shanahan or THIS (white) GUY Jon Gruden. Isn't there some rule...?...
Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....
Baseball Update!
Oh, shit, the Twins just scored four runs. And they look great in those throwbacks! Though honestly you see so many TC hats these days (even in New York!) that I'm seriously missing the lowercase M. Poor Greinke :(...
Is Jay Cutler The Next Tom Brady?
A reader asks: "Peggy, what are your thoughts on 'Jay Cutler: is he the next Tom Brady?' Thank you in advance."...
Who Are The Elders of Tomorrow?
When Chad Pennington dislocated his shoulder the other day, we lost one of The Elders of football and the quarterbacking arts....
Cavs Hero Banned From Scrimmage, Exiled From Bartertown
LeBron can make a movie and Shaq can spend the summer boxing kangaroos, but Delonte West has to sit out today's Cavs scrimmage, just because his reality show, Delonte West Beyond Thunderdome, didn't have any cameras or anything....
Could There Be a Problem With the Oakland Raiders?
Weird! Journeyman quarterback Jeff Garcia—usually so reticent to speak his mind—is criticizing his former team, the Raiders of Oakland, California!...
Obama's Agony of Defeat
Our President found one community his thugs couldn't organize into submission: the International Olympic Committee. Without their usual control of the ballots, Obama's adoptive hometown cronies found themselves, for once, on the losing side of an election....
Important College Football Picks
College football! Do you root for the school you attended? Or are you just some asshole who likes to root for some team you have nothing to do with? I don't follow it because I hate indentured servitude and polls....
Andrea Peyser Shocked By Arrogant Athlete Tweets
Hah, just like how Moe and I are editing Deadspin today, the New York Post today let outrage queen columnist and sex goddess Andrea Peyser write a sports column! Sort of....
Whither Mutton Bustin'? How the Culture of Self-Esteem Is Ruining An American Tradition
We can all agree that Mutton Bustin' is a good thing. But are liberal parents threatening the sanctity of this fundamentally American rite of passage? Yes. They are....
Lions Coach Mocks Matthew Stafford
Jim Schwartz had a bit of fun at the expense of the future of the Lions. He showed the whole team some vacation pictures, and then he said: "I thought I had a fun vacation - until I saw this.''...
Breaking: The World Is a Magical, Wonderful Place, and Bucco Bruce Is Back
This year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will once again wear the most garish and weird shade of salmon/orange, and Orlando Bloom will again intimidate opponents from their ridiculous helmets. Feel the magic!...
Michael Vick Is the Most Hated Person in Sports
Here is a list, based on an internet poll of people 13 and older, of the most disliked people in sports. It is mostly rapists, drug-users, dog-killers, and John McEnroe....
Why Don't You Monsters Love David Beckham?
Lord David "Becks" "Posh Spice" "Footy" Beckhamtonshire, Third Earl of Harewood, moved to America to be our Michael Jordan of Soccer. But he failed. The Times asks: why don't Americans love people who do things only British people care about?...
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....