Vegans Can Barbecue, Too
I grew up as a vegetarian, and I still feel a little awkward when I’m invited to a barbecue. Despite happily eating most of the ocean now—and dabbling in a rotisserie chicken on occasion—I can’t help but shy away from the idea of chowing down on red meat thrown on a grill. So, when barbecue season a...
How To Battle (And Beat) GERD
For the past few months, I’ve been engaged in a pesky war with my stomach. Whenever I’m considerate enough to send down some tasty food and drinks, it decides to act like an ungrateful brat and spit my offerings back up, with a little additional bilious acid for good measure....
How To Move In With Your Significant Other
Forget your list of righteous resolutions for the new year—the best self-improvement commitment you can make is to take the plunge and finally move in with your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you do this right, you’ll achieve a transcendental state of domesticated bliss, where every day is warm and cos...
How To Duck Social Obligations With Class
The holiday season is fully upon us. This means that by now you’ll have likely been bombarded with invites to seasonal parties and themed dinners and social get togethers. While it’s always good for the ol’ ego to be included in such things, this time of year brings with it a heavy feeling of social...
How To Buy Lingerie For Your Girlfriend, Wife, Mistress, Or Whoever Else
There comes a point in every hetero relationship when a man considers treating his lady to some expensive undergarments. It might be your way of celebrating her physical form while making it clear just how much you lust after her. It could just be a random surprise gift to show your affection on one...
Wu-Tang Clan Album Skits, Ranked
Prince Paul and De La Soul popularized the hip-hop skit, and Dr. Dre turned the concept cinematic, but the nine-man Wu-Tang Clan raised it to the level of esoteric art. Mixing stream-of-blunted-consciousness talk with pulp-fiction plot twists, copious gunshots, and equal parts skewed humor and authe...
14 Times Jay Z Got Owned By Another Rapper, Usually On His Own Song
Sorry, but the Jay Z you all worship might not be as good as you think. Or maybe it’s just that he’s easily dwarfed by the guest verses on his own tracks. These days he’s more or less abandoned making new music, instead busying himself with buying up companies and brands and streaming services or, i...
EL-P On The New Cat-Rap Classic <i>Meow The Jewels</i>: "It's A Lonely And Strange Thing"
Embrace the moment: One of the most feverishly anticipated hip-hopalbums of the year is finally here, and it’s made up almost entirely of sampled cat sounds. It’s called Meow the Jewels, and you can download it for free right here, and its backstory is now the stuff of internet (and cat) lore. It st...
Kool Keith's Relaxing Guide To Wine
Beloved as a hip-hop eccentric, Kool Keith is best known for traveling at the speed of thought with the Ultramagnetic MC’s and, as a solo artist, embracing a wide range of brilliant personas, from Dr. Octagon to Black Elvis to Clean Man. Another of those characters goes by the name of Fly Ricky the ...
How To Deal With Rude Neighbors
I used to live above a Chinese gambling den. The apartment was on 8th Avenue in the Sunset Park neighborhood of Brooklyn. After a work situation went sour, I was looking for a cheap place; the second-floor spot seemed clean and quiet when I looked at it. Come moving day, my new abode suddenly reeked...
Bug-Proof Your Home Like A Pro
Imagine a future without bugs! Sure, some learned ecologist will probably claim that these eerie tentacled creatures potter around at the bottom of the ecosystem doing important work in the grand scheme of things, but a wholesale elimination of the cockroaches and the mosquitos and the bed bugs of t...
How To Fight A Debt-Collection Letter
At some point in this unblemished modern world of ours, you’re going to receive a letter claiming that you owe someone money. If it’s a real debt from a real bank or collections agency, then, yeah, unfortunately, you’re going to have to pay at least some of it somehow. But there’s also the likelihoo...
How To Get A Chill Cat
So you’ve decided to get a pet. Maybe you’re hankering for some furry companionship to perk up the lonesome evenings. Perhaps you’re attempting to plug an emotional gap in your life by saving some of god’s non-edible creatures. Or maybe you just want to strike back at those people clogging up your I...
Cat Wines, Ranked
Beer is the best drink. That has never been in doubt. But sometimes, you're forced to class it up for a date night or go on a health kick, and this is when wine is your friend. More specifically, this is when cat wine is your friend....
Rappers And Cats: A Complete History
Meow the Jewels is a real thing. What started as a joke—with Run the Jewels, the acerbically bombastic rap duo of EL-P and Killer Mike, offering to re-record their fantastic new sophomore album, Run the Jewels 2, with "nothing but cat sounds for music" if someone gave them $40,000—has bloomed into...