Deadspin Up All Night: Let's Dance Tonight
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Bye fam—I’m gonna miss you....
What Will Your Last Tweet Be?
There was an episode of Oprah that aired a long, long time ago that was about the survivors of terrible accidents. At least, I think that’s what it was about. It aired around the time of the Singapore Airlines flight 006 tragedy back in 2000, where a 747 aircraft didn’t manage to lift off before cra...
Taylor Swift Sends Terrible Gifts To Her Friends
One thing we know to be true about Taylor Swift is that she is frequently photographed with other people. The Instagram personality, who is also a musician, refers to the people in these photographs her “friends.” She has many of them! More friends than you and me, and everyone we know combined. She...
How Many Coworkers Are You Allowed To Bone?
A version of this blog has sat in my drafts folder since March. It would be nice to say that I didn’t publish it back then because we were “going through a change”—we were, we hired two new writers—and it was maybe not the time to gratuitously throw the word “bone” (the colloquial word for the sex a...
Fall In Love, Get Married, Grow Old Together, And Then Cry
One of the most terrifying things about love is that it’s supposed to last forever. “I want someone that I can grow old with,” is an allegedly romantic thing that people write on dating sites to show that they are not afraid of commitment. (“I want someone to take care of/take care of me” is its cre...
Deadspin Up All Night: What A World
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stay cool....
"Fuck Steph Curry" Goes Viral And/Or "Viral"
A song for the haters ... or, perhaps, the allies?...
Arm Yourself Against The Mosquito, Your One True Enemy
It is a time of war. We are under attack, and every woman, man, and child must fend for themselves. They are coming for us, and there’s nothing we can do to stop them. We must fight until we can fight no more. I’m so tired I could cry. ...
Bugs, Ranked
No matter what this list reveals, please know that mosquitos are the worst bug. Nothing fills me with a stronger desire to kill than seeing an entitled-ass mosquito flying around, likely high off of the blood and pain of an innocent passerby. They’re tiny and quiet and often hard to notice until aft...
Please Do Not Licki Your Kitty
There’s a special, biologically intimate relationship that animals have with their own kind. Dogs sniff at the butts of stranger dogs in search of their anal sacs, and the secretions of the chemicals within—it’s their version of a handshake, and gives pups an idea of what to expect from one another ...
A Fancy Stoner's Guide To Baking
A stoner, a true stoner, will tell you that smoking weed is not at all the same as eating it. Baking weed tends to make it feel stronger, if only because it’s stripped down to its most potent parts. A note to beginners: never eat the whole brownie....
A "Vodka Diet Coke" Is Not A Cocktail
Earlier today, during an interview game of “73 Questions,” a faceless reporter from Vogue asked famous robot Taylor Swift what her favorite cocktail is. The Diet Coke brand ambassador said it’s a “vodka Diet Coke,” which is a drink that can indeed exist by way of mixing the ingredients found in its ...
The New <i>Star Wars</i> Trailer For <i>Rogue One</i> Looks Cool, I Guess?
If you thought we could get through two consecutive months without some big to-do about Star Wars, you were wrong! The teaser trailer for Rogue One reveals a whole new standalone story from the galaxy far, far away wherein a brand new heroine named Jyn Erso—or that’s what it sounds like, give me a b...
When Is It Acceptable To Take The Elevator?
Let’s say that you live in a place where you’ve got to walk a mile or so, then take a train, and climb up and down a maze of stairs in the stations that house those trains, in order to get to work every day. Let’s say that you work on the third floor of an office building that has 18 occupied floors...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Wrote You A Letter
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Spring is nigh....
Every NYC Romantic Comedy Is Full Of Shit In The Exact Same Way
Our first mistake was going to see this thing when we did. A friend and I stumbled into a showing of How to Be Single after a few glasses of wine a few days after it hit theaters—the same weekend Deadpool opened. Our theater is a small one a few blocks away from my apartment in Williamsburg, Brookly...
Deadspin Up All Night: Because It's Easier To Run
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We like it....
The Only Valentine's Day Message I Need
This Sunday morning, as I do on every Valentine’s Day, I will wake up to a message from my mother. Last year, it was a long email sent at an ungodly early hour, carrying all of her usual, heartfelt, holiday-appropriate sentiments: “Today is not only about boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives but...
Did You Already Abandon Your New Year's Resolution?
New York City’s record-breaking snowfall this past weekend would’ve been all the excuse I needed to break my New Year’s resolution, if I’d had one. I did notice it all around me, though: Those who’d committed to Sober January had “just one, because what else am I gonna do?” Those who’d vowed to defi...
Take Out Your Rage On The Rowing Machine
My problem with the gym has always been that I love cardio, but find it incredibly boring to do cardio in a room filled with other people doing cardio. Walking into a gym right after work alongside a rush of folks with the same idea isn’t very appealing in itself. Behold! A line of sweaty health dro...