Nationals Fans Didn’t Stick To Sports
Well, that went well, didn’t it? Donald Trump went to a baseball game, he got booed, the home team got hammered again, and the ratings are still, well, the ratings. ...
This Is The World Series MLB Deserves
Joe Buck is about to have the most difficult day of his professional life, because unlike his Jose Altuve home run call from the American League Championship Series, he must speak....
You Can’t Turn Steph Curry Into James Harden
Stephen Curry is one of the leading conduits of migraine headaches in modern American sports. That is to say, his name is invoked when migraines are inspired, which is correlation rather than causation....
A Modest Proposal For The World Series Baseballs
With the World Series upon us, and the magic of the Houston Colt .45s vs. the Montreal Expos preparing to unfold before our satanically red-rimmed eyes, we can sit back, forget the rest of the world its slowly advancing state of entropy and decay and ask ourselves the most existential of questions:...
LeBron Made His Choice, And He Chose LeBron
For whatever his faults may be (not being on your favorite team, hubris, brazenly studying the room without trying to hide it, etc.), LeBron James has consistently been a voice of progressive reason, but he has also been relentlessly acquisitive. Thus, no one ought to be nearly so surprised, shocked...
The Dolphins Are The Worst Of The Worst
One hurdle lying on its side, rusted and shattered, 11 more left....
If The Nats Are Going To Be Worth Rooting For, Let's Get Them Some Better Hats
This may seem like a Guide To The League Championship Series, but it isn’t really. If you need to be guided through four teams, you may be too dim to read....
Are The 49ers For Real?
As five weeks is usually more than sufficient time to establish the true pecking order in the National Football League, it is now clear that Super Bowl LIV (as opposed to Super Bowl LUV) will feature the New England Patriots and San Francisco 49ers....
How Much Is China Worth To The NBA?
Adam Silver has been credited for many things in his time fronting the money of the National Basketball Association, and even after you allow for the 30 percent reputational mark-up when compared with the other commissioners in North American sports, he’s done quite well. But now he is confronted by...
Either <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Deserved Better Or None Of Us Do
The gutting of Sports Illustrated was pointless, needlessly cruel, stupid and thoroughly corporate. It is what we do now—from an agrarian society to an industrial one to an informational one and now to the strip-it-down-resealable-parts one. Hurray for progress! See you in hell!...
The A's And Rays Deserve Better Than Fighting For The Right To Be Devoured By The Astros
It is an accepted truth that the Houston Astros are planet-eaters, loaded beyond reason with all the things a baseball team needs to beat its foes stupid. Put another way, manager A.J. Hinch could walk up to either Oakland’s Bob Melvin or Tampa Bay’s Kevin Cash Wednesday afternoon and say, “Tell you...
Vontaze Burfict Is Never Going To Stop Doing This
Well, that one walked down Broadway with a sign around its neck that read in giant red letters, “YOU KNOW HOW THIS ENDS!”...
An MLB Playoffs Rooting Guide For Those Who Are Not Fools
Only an idiot looks at the Houston Astros and does not see the best team in baseball, and since we are neck-deep in idiocy these days, those who do not largely confine their predictive allegiances to either the Los Angeles Dodgers or New York Yankees. This makes for both a crowded and tiresome World...
NFL Rules Are Just Suggestions
Tom Brady was watching Titans-Jaguars Thursday night and, like every other person with functional eyes, did not enjoy the experience. Only he overcame his revulsion and fear of being found out, tweeting about it and saying all the holding penalties were ruining his fun....
Cubs Fans Used To Know How To Handle A Choke
This is why the Chicago Cubs should not have been permitted to win the 2016 World Series: Their fans can no longer appreciate the Cubs of the last week....
Stop Celebrating Bruce Bochy's 2,000th Victory
Bruce Bochy nailed down his iconic 2,044th victory as a major-league manager Wednesday in Boston, because let’s face it, nothing says greatness quite like a large round number. And if 2,044 isn’t round enough for you, then your entire life has been a lie....
Should You Root For The Dolphins To Be The Worst Team Ever?
After two games, the Miami Dolphins are, well, you know. Everyone knows. After two weeks, everybody knows. Everybody can smell it....
Let's Move The 49ers, Again
I am not among those of my era who are amazed that the Rolling Stones are still touring energetically at carbon-dateable age, but I know I am in the minority here, and I recognize power when I see it. So when the Stones condemned their recent experience playing the 49ers’ stadium, the implication wa...
The Secret Fun Of Wild Card Bumper Cars Without An Audience
Having been surprised and inspired by Comrade Burneko’s scolding paean to the virtues of minor league baseball (namely, that it’s fun and people you don’t hang out with seem to like it so it deserves its continued existence based solely on that fact), I decided to avert my eyes from the smoldering r...
Where Do The Raiders Go From Here?
Lost in the exciting new world of Antonio Brown the Patriot (can’t you just see the glint in Bill Belichick’s eye?) is what Brown left behind:...