IDIOT OF THE YEAR: 10 more for the worst of 2023 (Nos. 30-21)

Oh, the hell with it, you know the drill by now. Deadspin’s IDIOT OF THE YEAR continues on, as does the meaningless treadmill of existence. All is for naught and free will is an illusion!

Another inexplicable member of the United States Senate was an Idiot of the Month back in July, when Paul had NIL legislation in his crosshairs recently when he mused that college athletes would soon end up more closely resembling rappers than students, what with their newfound ability to be paid for their work. Apparently, this second-generation dumbf*ck is all about laissez-faire government policy until it puts money in the pockets of young people, specifically those of color.

The budding NBA superstar spent a large portion of March seeking a better way to relieve stress after he took to Instagram Live from the Denver gentleman’s club to show off his rapping acumen and a handgun.

The Grizzlies were almost as quick to react as the internet and sat him down for an indefinite period of time. The strip club incident — that was gradually leaked online after the initial IG Live story — looked like a helluva time, and had it not punctuated a week of Morant being in the news cycle for all the wrong reasons, Ja might have been able to skate. He was suspended by the NBA

You’d think Rudy Gobert would have learned his lesson about boundaries after triggering an entire league shutdown three years ago. And yet, there he was using that extended wingspan to take a jab at teammate Kyle Anderson in April during the 82nd game on Minnesota’s schedule. His tenure in Utah was buffeted by his fractured working relationship with Donovan Mitchell, and his only year in Minnesota has been an unmitigated disaster.

Brad Bohannon was axed from Alabama’s baseball program on May 4 for “among other things, violating the standards, duties, and responsibilities expected of University employees,” per a statement from Alabama athletic director Greg Byrne. While how heavily Bohannon was involved in the sports betting that led to him getting the pink slip isn’t publicly known, and may never be, but his quick ouster does all the talking for both sides. Maybe Bohannon thought he could get away with it, or it wouldn’t be a fireable offense (the most idiotic option), or he was looking for a quick way out of coaching forever. Having no moral compass or external reference point to think this was a bad idea shows Bohannon isn’t fit to run a Division-I athletic program. It’s actually twisted to think this was going on for a while before he was caught. How many results were influenced by slimy tactics that somehow didn’t derail the Southeastern Conference baseball season?

The person making the wagers that flagged questions was identified as Bert Eugene Neff Jr., of Mooresville, Ind., by Sports Illustrated, the parent of a current University of Cincinnati baseball player. His relation to Bohannon is unclear, other than through the baseball world, as Bohannon never coached in the state of Ohio. Either way, congratulations on being a huge dumbass, and thinking helping someone make money off your kids through sports betting was a good idea.

There are a lot of reasons why the Bears could be on this year’s Idiots list. The perpetual terrible head-coaching choices. The systematic takedowns of their own promising young quarterbacks. That fact that the owners can’t make a decent decision to save their lives. But, in September, the Bears truly outdid themselves in the way they completely fumbled whatever the hell happened with Defensive Coordinator Alan Williams’ resignation.

Williams, who had been away from the team since Week 1 for undisclosed reasons, stepped down before Week 3 for undisclosed reasons that he claimed were related to his health, and family. This, of course, is after the Bears told beat reporters that Williams’ absence was not due to his health or family. Bears head coach Matt Eberflus fanned the flames of the conspiracies that were already running wild online by refusing to answer questions about Williams’ absence. And, even after rumors began swirling on social media that both Williams’ home and Halas Hall had been raided by the FBI, the Bears issued a perfunctory statement, saying only, “Alan Williams submitted his resignation as the team’s defensive coordinator this afternoon.” And that was it! No “best of luck,” nothing about Williams’ future. Nothing. Just “he quit.”

John Angelos should’ve been, or could’ve been at least, one of the most popular people in Maryland back in August. He’s got the American League’s best team — the Orioles — on the field, after years of being utterly irrelevant, playing in what is still the gold standard of the new age of ballparks. They’re young, they’re exciting, they hit the sh*t out of the ball. All Angelos has to do is not talk, and be shown smiling in his box or whatever.

And yet none of them can help it. Even amongst the best stretch of Os baseball in what, at least a decade, with the promise of so much more, Angelos is threatening fans with higher ticket prices or needed tax breaks and state handouts or a full-out move, simply so he can have more of what he already has. All these guys, especially the failsons, have a disposition of having needed to take a dump since they were 11.

It takes a severe lack of brain cells to throw up the Sieg Heil salute in public. Add in that the offending party did it in drive-by fashion toward a pro-Israel demonstration, with cellphones handy, and that’s how former NWSL player Stefany Ferrer Van Ginkel ended up on November’s list.

Talking about the Israel-Palestine war takes a deft hand, but you don’t have to be Susan Sarandon to know that saluting Hitler to a crowd of Jewish people is not nuanced, or thoughtful. Ferrer Van Ginkel’s former club, Angel FC, made sure to distance themselves from the incident, reiterating that the two are no longer affiliated.

The lesson is simple: Don’t be a Nazi.

Contrary to popular belief, the definition of insanity isn’t actually “doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.” Merriam-Webster defines it as:

“a severely disordered state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder”

“unsoundness of mind or lack of the ability to understand that prevents someone from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or that releases someone from criminal, or civil responsibility”

“extreme folly or unreasonableness”

“something utterly foolish or unreasonable”

Miami head football coach Mario Cristobal fits perfectly with the fourth explanation.

Cristobal is on the list because, in October, his then-No. 17 ranked Hurricanes, who were 4-0, lost to (2-3) Georgia Tech. They were leading 20-17 with 33 seconds left on the clock when Cristobal decided against taking a knee and running the clock out for the guaranteed win. Instead, Miami ran it, and fumbled. Georgia Tech recovered, eventually scored, and won in the final seconds.

It’s hard to fathom exactly what the Toronto Raptors were thinking when they came up with this jaunty bit of content for Women’s History Month.

Time of Death for Women’s History Month? Whatever time this was published on March 1.

Teams love to trot out their female employees once a year, usually on International Women’s Day, which is galling enough (we don’t want women in sports to be visible once a year, we want it all year round!), but not being able to find a single guy on your team to express anything women do well outside of “they birth everybody,” is really the pièce de resistance here. The video wasn’t up long; the Raptors took the piece down right quick after it started making the rounds on social media. But I was easily able to come up with something women do well outside of being “the only ones who can procreate.” For example, women can tell you when your idea for video content is going to make everyone laugh at you for being sexist jerkfaces during Women’s History Month.

AB bought an arena football team in the month of May and it went to sh*t pretty much immediately. Who could have seen this coming, except everyone?

Antonio Brown kicked off January 2023 the same way he left 2022, as an idiot. And if you tried to predict what Brown would be in the news for as a New Year’s resolution, and you got it right, please tell us what numbers to pick in the lottery. Also, you might be a psychopath.

A few weeks back, Brown looked like he was having a normal day, with his family and kids, constantly updating his Snapchat story to show us a pretty normal life by his standards. And then there’s a photo of him getting fellated by a woman with no censor and we can see everything.

And it’s disgusting and more of Brown than anyone wanted to see. Also, who shares it after a roll of content involving your family? That’s not normal. And should never be normalized. It’s sick. It’s truly a shame for such a great athlete to be outwardly dumb and ruin what could’ve been a Hall of Fame career. And there seems to be no low or blow he won’t take.