Trump University’s Florida Graduation Ceremony

Tuesday night Donald Trump conducted commencement exercises for Trump University in Melbourne, Florida and conferred honorary BS degrees to Attorney General Pam Bondi and Governor Rick Scott for their studies in Public Service Fraud.

Affectionately known as FU, the Florida University Division of Trump University commencement ceremony was replete with all the pomp and circumstance of a real university with a Giant Trump-orange banner with their logo FU in bold letters and their mascot the Angry Bird with everyone singing the alma mater “So give a cheer for the F and U; Florida...FU!” and saluting with the official Angry Bird salute.

Before enrolling in Trump University’s FU, Attorney General Pam Bondi declared in September 2013 that the Attorney General’s Office would be joining with the New York Attorney General’s Office to pursue an investigation into Trump University. But 4 days later Pam Bondi received a personal check for $25,000 from Donald Trump; enough for a full scholarship to Trump University! Her first assignment in FU Public Service Fraud Studies must have been to learn about ethics violations because she suddenly lost all interest in that investigation into Trump University. And after completing that first assignment, her next assignment in Public Service Fraud Studies was apparently dodging the Florida Commission on Ethics for 16 months.

And thus Attorney General Pam Bondi graduated Summa Cum Laude from Trump University.

In fact, Trump University has been so successful in Florida that after realizing that Donald Trump was involved in 3,500 additional lawsuits, the University decided this was a wonderful opportunity to develop these lawsuits into a unique FU curriculum to teach Florida student’s how the judicial process really works in Florida. The new program will provide a prelaw education for students and be called “Litigation in Education Studies” or LIES for short. It will be housed at the new LIE Academy in Tallahassee for the convenience of legislators to be teachers. The new academy will be called the Trump FU LIE Academy where students can major in Public Service Fraud with a minor in LIES. Go Florida...FU!