Shaking Hands (Or, THE Hand Shake)

This is not a tutorial on the proper way to shake hands. Rather, it is my own thoughts on the ritual of shaking hands as a means of greeting, sealing a deal or bidding farewell to someone. In an era when the “fist bump” is replacing the handshake as a standard form of greeting, I think that the handshake may one day become a lost art. Having said that, I am, admittedly, more of the “hugger” type. In my family I hug my wife and kids daily, multiple times if possible. My church is a “hugging” church where it is just as normal to hug someone as not, whether long-time friend or new acquaintance. Despite that, we generally live in a society that still recognizes the handshake as the standard greeting between two people.

The first time I can recall shaking hands was when my dad taught me how to do it properly. Over the years older men who played a mentoring role in my life such as my Uncle Joe Janson, my grandfather (his father the first Joe Janson) and an early boss, Chuck Whiting, had the most impact on me as I developed the skill.

My first professional job was working for a local newspaper in the Philadelphia suburb of Jenkintown. On the day I met one of the office managers I discovered that my handshake was underwhelming to say the least. He perhaps chalked up my first or second attempt as “new employee” jitters. However, after a particularly pitiful handshake, blunt speaker that he was, Chuck took me aside and said “son, let me show you how it’s done” and proceeded to give me a lesson in shaking hands that lives with me to this day.

My good friend, mentor and long-time employer Tax Collector and former State Senator Mike Fasano, is another person who has mastered the handshake. When I was first joined his legislative staff he taught me the subtleties and importance of developing a firm handshake. Over the years I have seen him help other young men learn the skill as well. I am forever grateful for what he and those who came before him taught me about the art of the handshake.

There have been plenty of words put to paper regarding the way one should shake hands, the type of handshakes and what they mean (i.e. the firm, one-handed shake; the two-handed wrap your hands around the other person’s hand shake; and the shake with one hand while you grip the other person’s forearm with your other hand shake are all classics). Much has been written about what each shake means and how one connects you to the other person differently. When I shake hands with someone I don’t consciously think about which “method” I will use, I just shake hands in the way I feel is most appropriate for that person and my relationship to them.

I am struck by the wide variations in which people in positions of power shake hands. Perhaps the most impressive person I have shaken hands with was President George W. Bush. President Bush visited New Port Richey during his 2004 re-election campaign. After a rousing speech to the stalwart I, who was standing along the rope line at the front of the stage, was one of the privileged few to whom he extended his hand in greeting. What struck me the most was the way he clasped my hand and looked straight into my eyes. For the brief moments that passed he had an incredible way of bringing me into his world. That encounter is still vivid in my mind. There are few people who can shake your hand and make you feel, even for a few seconds, that you are the only person in the universe. President Bush was definitely one of those people.

Former Governor Charlie Crist was another person who had that ability. Over the years I have shaken his hand many times. For the brief moments of the handshake he also placed all his focus on you and you alone. “Hi, I’m Charlie Crist,” he would say with his ebullient smile, no matter if it was the first or the 50th time you met. He was definitely someone who was fun to watch as he worked a crowd. I vividly recall how Governor Crist was appearing at a campaign stop, which was being held in a local community center. He was coming into the building as someone was leaving. Governor Crist literally reached through a potted planted to extend his hand in greeting to the person who was passing him by. It was an amusing, impressive and oddly touching gesture. The governor did not want to pass up the chance to make the connection with another person, even if it meant literally pushing his way through a tree.

Former Governor Jeb Bush had a very unique style of shaking hands, at least in the earlier years of his career. A more studious master of complicated governmental issues you will never find. One would expect an almost professorial handshake from him, whatever that may be. However, his handshake was always one that exuded a calm strength. He was almost laid back in his manner. Here was the most powerful man in Florida, one who could debate any side of an issue and always win, whose handshake came across as if you were best buddies from childhood. For me that ability to project both the power and the comfort of living comfortably in one’s skin always impressed me.

Former Vice-President Dan Quayle visited New Port Richey during the 1992 Bush/ Quayle reelection campaign. After his speech he walked the line and exchanged a handshake with as many people as he could. Back then it was the first time I had shaken hands with a sitting Vice-President and the “wow” factor of that fact overrode any particular memories I had of his handshake. Despite the grueling schedule of a national campaign, that most I can recall was that it was a firm handshake. I don’t recall being pulled into his world, however! At least, at that time in his life, he had not mastered the skill that his running mate’s son would eight short years later.

If I’ve learned anything in public service, and all the handshaking that comes with that profession, is that there are as many types of handshakes as there are people. We each have our own way to make that brief connection with another person. In some cases it is memorable, either positively or negatively, in many cases the exchange is so commonplace that it does not stand out at all. In any event, until the fist bump, or even the hug, replaces the handshake, the handshake will continue to be an important means of greeting one to another.