Don't tell Mommy

How many mothers are aware of the guidance put out by Dr. Carmen I. Ayala the state superintendent of the IL State Board of Education (ISBE) back on March 1st of 2020 named “supporting transgender, nonbinary and gender nonconforming students” in regard to how teachers handle children to come out as trans.

In the term section the definition that stood out was “outing”. “The act of disclosing information about another person’s gender identity or sexual orientation without that person’s knowledge and/or consent. Outing by school officials can violate that student’s privacy rights and puts students at risk of harm.” this implies the students in question are adults and are even capable of making such a complex decision in the first place?

Page 7 and 8 of the guidance was extremely alarming, this passage at the top of page 7 is quite frankly downright wrong: “For preschool and elementary school-aged children, the level of parental involvement may look different than for middle school and high school-aged students”. Preschool kids can’t tie their own shoes, feed themselves or think critically but they are capable of making a decision on what Gender they are? Does a preschool kid even know what gender is?

In section D on page 7 the law titled ISRA and FERPA state that “Student information and records must be kept confidential and not disclosed without permission of the student’s parent(s)/guardian(s), except to employees as needed for their work with a student, and in certain other listed circumstances permitted by law (such as to law enforcement or to comply with a court order)”

This clearly states parents are to be involved in this process which is what most people think it should be.

However, just below the stated law in section D-3 a very troubling directive is given to staff and teachers:

“Set limits on disclosure of a student’s gender identity. District staff should only discuss a student’s transgender, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming identity with other staff if it is necessary to support the student’s social, emotional, or academic success. Districts should ensure all staff are trained and aware of the district’s procedures on confidentiality. Information gathered about a student’s transgender, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming identity should be kept secure and confidential, and not be released or disclosed outside of district staff without the student’s explicit consent. It is essential to keep in mind that disclosure or misuse of a student’s confidential information may establish a hostile environment, potentially subjecting them to bullying and harassment by peers, discrimination by district staff, and/or family rejection.”

Here is where the hypocrisy begins, this directive instructs districts to inform their staff that if a student comes to them with the information that they have decided that instead of being called Steven they would like to be called Eve at school that their teachers ARE NOT TO INFORM THEIR PARENTS?!?!

Furthermore, this guidance directs teachers and staff to:

“Take a student-centered approach. District employees should be aware that many transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming students experience family rejection. School officials should work with students, and whoever else is appropriate, to develop a plan regarding the confidentiality of the student’s identity.” “While district staff should never out a child to their family, students, teachers, or other staff,”

If a child is having feelings of confusion on this matter, isn’t the responsible thing to do is bring parents into the fold? In a space where kids can discuss openly how they are feeling so both the teacher and parent can formulate a plan to handle the situation together? Teachers become teachers because they love teaching kids (they sure as hell don’t do it for the money) yet the bosses are asking them to keep life changing secrets from their parents?!?! What do the bosses think will happen when that student comes of age and discusses it with his or her parents? Will their rejection issues magically dissipate or their questions/concerns? Especially if their parents feel they have been lied to over the years?

Keep reading it gets better, another rule is if your child decides to change their name at school. This directive doesn’t require any legal changing of said name and can be used in school records to update their “chosen” identity:

“Does a student have the legal right to be addressed by their affirmed name and pronouns?

Yes. Students have the right to be addressed at school by their affirmed name and pronouns and to update their school records to reflect their identity. Schools may not require a legal name change or change of a gender marker on a birth certificate before the school addresses a student by their affirmed name and pronouns or before updating most school records to properly reflect the student’s identity.”

Here is a popular one for parents who have daughters (like me) “the use of facilities”. Take a look:

“Both state and federal law have clearly defined that all students must be able to fully and equally access facilities in alignment with their gender identity F-1.

May a school require that a transgender, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming student use the restroom or locker room that corresponds with the student’s sex assigned at birth?

No. Students must be allowed to use the facilities that correspond with their gender identity. Schools cannot impose on transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming student's conditions on the use of facilities that are not required of other students.”

What if you’re not ok with moving all of these “traditional restroom practices” so unknown trans children can utilize the bathrooms of their chosen identity you ask?

“Under state and federal law, the discomfort or privacy concerns of students, teachers, or parents are not valid reasons to deny or limit the equal use of facilities by transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming students. Rather, the interest of any student seeking more privacy should be addressed by providing that student a more private option upon their request.”

So let me get this straight, your son Steven can tell his teachers he wants to be called Eve. The teacher is not required to inform the parents by law. Eve can then shower and change with the girls in their locker room all while affirming his identity in the school records. Then if I disagree with this, it’s my daughter who has to make arrangements to satisfy Eve? Hey what could go wrong here… I know mass confusion and outbursts like we have seen lately in Nashville TN and recently in Des Moine IA. Kids need a village, not be isolated while making decisions that even adults have trouble sorting out. I think I'm telling mommy on this one...

ISBE-Guidance-Supporting-Transgender-Nonbinary-Gender-Nonconforming-Students.pdf