One Woman Show Spotlights Dementia Caregiving

“MOTHER (and me)”, written and performed by Melinda Buckley, is coming to the Centenary Stage Company, in Hackettstown, October 19-22.

MOTHER (and me) is a fast-paced 75-minute performance that uses the power of theater to bring people together around an important issue: Alzheimer's, and the struggles families face while caring for a loved one. While the subject matter is heavy - a daughter's relationship with her immigrant mother as she slips into dementia - Melinda handles it with consummate skill, showbiz pizzazz and most importantly, with humor. It’s a story that will move the audience, make them laugh and in the end, is an uplifting piece of theater.

While donations from theater-goers at all four performances will benefit the 2023 Northwest Walk to End Alzheimer’s taking place on October 21 at Landing Park in Landing, NJ, the matinee performance on Sunday October 22 will also include a Q&A/Talkback with representatives from the Alzheimer’s Association Greater New Jersey Chapter. The discussion will focus on the vital issues raised by the show, as well as spotlight the free programs and services provided for families impacted by Alzheimer's disease and other dementias.

Melinda Buckley sat down for a Q&A with Cheryl Ricci-Francione, Executive Director, Greater New Jersey Chapter, to discuss her show and what she hopes it will bring to the community.

Q: Why was it important for you to tell the story of your relationship with your Mom as she aged and was diagnosed with dementia? How did the artistic process unfold?

A: “I was always fascinated with my mother's story. She was born in Hungary and she was very exotic to me; especially in comparison to everyone else in our small blue-collar town. Her early life was terribly impacted by the war and the stories that she would share with me - and she would not share many - were completely enthralling to me. When she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, one of the things we would do is go through family photos and talk about the past. Then an interesting thing happened: the more she forgot, the more I remembered. I was in a writing group at the time, and these stories began pouring out of me. At first it was just therapeutic, but then, I was encouraged by friends and my acting teacher, the renowned Wynn Handman, to develop them into a solo play. And so, I did. And that's how the show began.”

Q: You note that while dementia is certainly a serious topic, the subject is handled with humor and ultimately the show is uplifting. What can audiences expect from this show?

A: “My mother was a very funny woman. She should have been in show business, because she was both beautiful and fearless. One of the gifts she gave both my brother and I was a certain sensibility; a knack for finding humor in the darkest of subjects. Maybe it’s a particular Hungarian trait, I’m not sure. But anyone who has been through difficult times, knows that at some point, you do just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all. I believe in the old Mel Brooks formula: tragedy + time = comedy. Don’t get me wrong, the show doesn’t turn away from any of the challenges, or difficult moments; it just holds them in such a way that we are able to embrace both the dark and the light.”

Q: When you were invited to present your show at Centenary Stage, you contacted the Alzheimer's Association Greater New Jersey Chapter. Why do you think it's important to spotlight the community resources available?

A: “My intention with the performance has always been to encourage people, to show them that they are not alone; that they too can get through this and maybe, even find gifts on the other side. I’m proud that my show stands as a theatrical piece on its own; it’s played very well in NYC and at theatres across the country. But it’s especially rewarding to me when I can connect with other caregivers and offer them support. It can be so tricky to navigate the complexities of this disease, and many people aren't aware of the amazing resources that are available to them. I also know that caregiving on any level is isolating and exhausting. Many people tend to ‘go it alone.’ I am hoping people will come out to laugh and yes, cry a little - but mostly feel the power of being in a room with others who understand. I've done a lot of work with the Alzheimer's family support center of Cape Cod. They have a terrific slogan that I firmly believe in: “Until there's a cure, there's community.”

Q: Anything else you want to add?

A: “Only that the show reaches beyond those who are on this particular journey. It’s really about life… about family and the universal bond between parents and their children. And that particular moment in time, when roles reverse and the roller coaster ride that no child wants to get on, begins. That’s a ride we’re all on, after all, so I’m inviting people to come out and enjoy mine!”

MOTHER (and me) will be performed October 19 at 7:30 pm, Oct 20 and 21 at 8:00 pm and on Oct 22 at 2:00 pm with the Centenary Stage Company at Kutz Black Box Theater, Lackland Performing Arts Center, 715 Grand Avenue, Hackettstown, NJ. Directly following the matinee performance, there will be a Q&A/Talkback. As part of the theater’s commitment to make a positive community impact, there will be an opportunity for those who wish to donate to this important cause at every performance. Purchase tickets at: https://www.centenarystageco.org/fringe-mother-and-me

More than 6 million Americans are living with Alzheimer's disease – a leading cause of death in the United States. Additionally, more than 11 million family members and friends provide care to people living with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. In New Jersey alone, there are more than 190,000 people living with the disease and 272,000 caregivers.

To register for the 2023 Walk to End Alzheimer’s, the world’s largest event dedicated to Alzheimer’s care, support and research, visit alz.org/njwalk.