🧅 The Onion Chimes In On Parma PD Supreme Court Case + Cedar Point Sex Shenanigans

Legendary Cleveland funnyman Drew Carey once said, "I just try to get people to laugh. I'm not trying to change the world or anything." Parma's Anthony Novak may be doing a little bit of both, and now he has none other than The Onion backing him up as he takes the Parma Police Department to the U.S. Supreme Court.

That story leads our Tuesday digest. What else have we got?

• 🍆 Uh oh. What's going on at Cedar Point? "We clearly have video of you with your hand down his pants."
• 🏠 The cost of housing in Greater Cleveland.
• ❄️ Prepping for winter snow already.

Also, the Guardians lost Monday. (It had to happen sometime.) And scroll down to the Chatter section for some deets on Trick-or-Treat Fest at the zoo and Bootanical Bash at the Cleveland Botanical Garden.

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Fake Facebook Page Jokes On Way To Real U.S. Supreme Court

1) An aspiring comedy writer who created a mock Facebook page to poke fun at Parma Police — only to end up arrested by those same cops — has found an ally known for satirical hilarity. The Onion filed an amicus brief Monday in support of Anthony Novak, who was arrested in 2016 and charged with disrupting a public service for posting jokes. Novak took his case to the U.S. Supreme Court last week.

• The back story: Novak, briefly jailed for his jokes and later acquitted by a jury, sued the police in 2017 and won, but the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the decision and said officers did not violate Novak's free speech rights.
• The jokes: Novak's parody page was only live for 12 hours. In one of his jokes, he wrote that police were giving pedophiles a chance to get off the sex offender registry by solving puzzles. In another, he joked that Parma residents were banned from providing food to the homeless because the city wanted them to starve.
• Said The Onion: " 'Ohio Police Officers Arrest, Prosecute Man Who Made Fun of Them on Facebook' might sound like a headline ripped from the front pages of The Onion — albeit one that’s considerably less amusing because its subjects are real."

Cleveland.com (subscription) | Video: Anthony Novak Tells His Story

2) Police accused a man and woman who were waiting in a line at Cedar Point of performing a sex act in full view of onlookers, one of whom recorded the gesture on video. "We clearly have video of you with your hand down his pants," a Sandusky police officer told the woman. Her male companion responded: "We just started dating not too long ago and are just affectionate." The couple, both of whom are 38, are charged with misdemeanors. This summer, police busted another couple for having sex on the Giant Wheel.

Fox 8 News

3) Across Greater Cleveland, home sale prices match or exceed the median sale price in the state of Ohio — $230,100. Renters, meanwhile, are seeing an increase in costs year over year. New renters see a median monthly lease of $1,310 in the area, a 12.8% increase over 2021.

Cleveland.com's Zachary Smith has all the data

4) Training for snow-plow drivers and equipment testing will begin this month, according to Cleveland's department of public works, in preparation for this winter. The city of Cleveland was slammed last year for abysmal handling of winter snow. This season, 112 snow-plow units will be available around the clock. Snow routes have been updated, too, and budget increases mean more than 100 new seasonal workers will be hired by winter.

Fox 8 News

5) Well, @#$%&!, it's now legal to utter profanities in Strongsville. Recently, the city council repealed part of a local ordinance that stated: “No person shall utter obscene or licentious language or profanely curse or swear.” The council also clarified the circumstances under which suspects and witnesses are required to identify themselves to police officers. (Let's hope making jokes is not one of those circumstances.)

Cleveland.com

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5 More Stories You Need To See Today

• Berea sex offender charged for groping 16-year-old step-daughter on camera in front of teachers and classmates during virtual school (Cleveland 19 News)
• Watch timelapse video of stupid 34-minute walk from Tri-C Rapid Station to proposed county jail site (Cleveland Scene)
• MetroHealth to open new behavioral health facility in Cleveland Heights (Ideastream Public Media)
• Developer of Cleveland Meijer store, facing rising construction costs, to receive more public money (Cleveland.com)
• City of Cleveland to clean up big mess after condemned house becomes dumping ground (Cleveland 19 News)

See Playhouse Square's Pretty New Look

Playhouse Square on Monday unveiled artist's renderings of new marquees that will adorn five of its illustrious theaters. Signage for the Hanna will call attention to Playhouse Square’s seven resident companies: Cleveland Ballet, Cleveland International Film Festival, Cleveland Play House, Cleveland State University’s Department of Theatre and Dance, DANCECleveland, Great Lakes Theater and Tri-C JazzFest. Here's a first look at all the new designs, via 3News WKYC

5 Things To Do

• Five Finger Death Punch and Megadeth, Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, Oct. 4 | Details
• Cleveland Guardians vs. Kansas City Royals, Progressive Field, Oct. 4-5 | Details
• American Mariachi, Allen Theatre, Through Oct. 9 | Details
• The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time, Beck Center for the Arts, Lakewood, Through Oct. 16 | Details
• Brewhouse Haunts: Haunted History Tours, Great Lakes Brewing Co., Through Oct. 26 | Details

Find more on our calendar | Add your event

Today In Cleveland

• City Council Meeting - City of Warrensville Heights - City Activities & Events (6:00 PM)
• Membership Committee - The Greater Cleveland Nurses Association (7:00 PM)
• Varsity Boys Soccer vs Trinity (Senior Night) (7:00 PM)

Cleveland Chatter

• Zoo treats: "LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN! Trick-or-Treat Fest presented by Citizens starts Friday! Bring your family in costume for this year’s family-friendly Halloween event at the Zoo, Fridays through Sundays from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. beginning October 7 through October 30. Get your tickets now at futureforwildlife.org/trickortreatfest." (Cleveland Metroparks Zoo via Facebook)
• Cleveland baseball history: "On October 3, 1993, the Cleveland Indians played their last game in Cleveland Municipal Stadium. While Municipal Stadium construction was completed in 1931, the Indians wouldn’t play their first game there the next year in July 1932." (Cleveland History Center via Facebook)
• 5 more days until Harvest Fest: "Join us for the inaugural Harvest Fest at the Chalet on Saturday, October 8 from 4 to 8 p.m. This new event will feature Merwin’s Wharf famous clambake, hayrides, live music, and more!" (Cleveland Metroparks via Facebook)
• Cool-weather cooking: "Soup and stew season is upon us, which means it’s a great time for a pantry restock. 🍜 Shop Urban Herbs for grains, beans, dried herbs, and spices." (West Side Market via Facebook)
• Bootanical Garden fund: "Tickets are selling fast for the family-favorite Bootanical Bash! Join us on Sunday, Oct. 16th from noon – 5pm for our popular annual Bootanical Bash at Cleveland Botanical Garden!" (Cleveland Botanical Garden via Facebook)

More from our sponsors — thanks for supporting local news!

Events:

• Wine Glasses and Reading (October 5)
• Spoken Word: Poetry Open Mic Nights (October 6)
• Historic Haunts Walking Tours (October 6)
• Opening Reception of Leigh Brooklyn: All of Me (October 7)
• Boundless: A Fundraiser and Silent Auction to Benefit The Intergenerational Schools (October 7)
• 2022 Solon Fall Festival (October 8)
• THIS RALLY IS AT 1:30PM-Women's March Cleveland's Women's Wave Oct 8, 2022 1:30pm Rally & March (October 8)
• 6th Annual Wizard Pub Crawl: CLE (October 8)
• Trivia Paint Night | Harry Potter-inspired (October 8)
• Add your event

You're officially in the loop for today! Missed yesterday? You missed a lot. 🎣 Fishy Walleye Tournament Cheaters Exposed + Guardians Win 90th Game