OBITUARY: GE Hotpoint 16.6 cu. Fe. Top-Freezer Refrigerator-White

Hotpoint Refrigerator, age unknown, of Lower Milford outside its home in Lower Milford.

Beloved appliance of 1377 Blue Church Road.

The refrigerator, known to his friends and neighbors as “Fridge,” was manufactured at a plant in Kentucky sometime between 1989 and 2007.  

After graduating from the factory, Fridge was a career appliance, serving in the kitchen from 2000 until passing away. Fridge is best known for his role in keeping food cold, as well as the freezer burn incident of 2008.

“He was such a quiet Fridge,” said friend and longtime neighbor, the dishwasher. “Always humming, but never a bother.”

Others agreed. “I really admired his efficiency,” said another neighbor, the microwave.

Always there to lend a helping hand, Fridge would never turn down a request to keep your drinks cold and your veggies crisp. "Fridge was just such a joy to have in the kitchen," said dishwasher.

"His food was always the easiest to dispose of," said disposal, who worked alongside Fridge for a number of years.

Survivors: Fridge leaves behind a matching stove, who was Fridge's partner since back in the plant. Both Kentucky natives, they enjoyed horse racing, bourbon (in cooking, of course), and blackberries (Kentucky's state food).

Services: Services won't be held, but a scrap metal company plans on gently removing Fridge and making sure he's recycled and back in the community someday.

In lieu of flowers, members of his family (of appliances) are asking donations be made to your local appliance repairman.

(Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day!)