Woodland Park Announces Fecal Fest, Selling 'Zoo Doo' For Gardens

SEATTLE — The Woodland Park Zoo has announced that their annual Fecal Fest will be kicking off on August 17.

What is fecal fest, you may ask? Why it's simply the most wonderful season of the year: the zoo mounds up all the generous, aromatic leavings from their non-primate herbivores, which coalesces into a magical witches brew that they call "Zoo Doo."

In short, it is manure. But, it is manure that comes from all sorts of exotic animals like tapirs, mountain goats, giraffes, zebras and more. Plus, it helps the zoo reduce their own ecological footprint by reducing waste. Frankly it is iconic, and we must respect that.

So, how do you, an aspiring gardener with a twinkle in your eye and a thirst for the exotic, get your hands on this doo? Simple: from August 17 to September 6 you can enter online at zoo.org/fecalfest for your chance to buy the accursed treasure. Winners will be randomly selected and then can come to the zoo to buy the doo any time from September 26 through October 4th.

The doo is sold by the gallon, ranging from a respectable 10 gallons of manure (which costs $12) to a heaving 100 gallon doo delivery (only $58, a lesson in buying in bulk). The zoo will also stuff the bed of your truck with doo, which you have to imagine is quite a sight to see.

Anyone brave and interested in learning more can do so by visiting zoo.org/fecalfest or by calling 206-625-POOP (7667).