Celebrity Celebrity Family Celebrity Parenting Allison Holker 'Would Embrace' Dating Again: 'I Still Want to Live a Big Life' (Exclusive) The dancer tells PEOPLE she wants her kids "to see that they can still learn to trust and love again" By Julia Moore Julia Moore Julia Moore is a TV writer-reporter at PEOPLE. A graduate of Northwestern University, she has been working at PEOPLE since 2022. People Editorial Guidelines and Abby Stern Abby Stern Abby Stern is a writer-reporter at PEOPLE. She’s been writing about entertainment, fashion, beauty, and other lifestyle content for over fifteen years. People Editorial Guidelines Published on June 14, 2024 11:46AM EDT Allison Holker at the birthFUND Brunch on June 13, 2024 in Los Angeles. Photo: Gilbert Flores/WWD via Getty Allison Holker is not closing herself off. The dancer and mother of three, 36, has had a difficult few years, but 2024 has brought her a "resurgence" as she tries "to find out who I am now," she tells PEOPLE. "Not even being a mother, not a career mom, not the trauma, not the once wife, but who am I? Just as me and my character — what I believe in, what I stand for," Holker says at the birthFUND brunch fundraiser in Los Angeles on June 13. "It's been a journey for me just to kind of relearn me in this new phase of my life. And I've changed a lot." She says she's "grown a lot, obviously" while dealing with the grief of the death of her husband, Stephen "tWitch" Boss, in December 2022 by suicide. "I'm just trying to embrace [her growth] and see what my next steps are with [my] career, with [my] choices, and with dating," Holker admits. Allison Holker Says Stephen 'tWitch' Boss' 'Extroverted Personality' Wasn't 'Natural' to Him and Would 'Drain His Energy' "I think I am a person that I always say the quote, 'Romanticize your life.' And I think, though I've gone through so much, I'm still a believer in living a big life. There's not been one moment that I haven't thought to myself, 'I still want to live a big life,'" she continues. "I still would want to have love, would still want to travel the world. I still want to see and experience new things with new people, new energy, my friends, my family, a loved one — a potential — and my kids." Stephen "tWitch" Boss (L) and Allison Holker attend Critics Choice Association's 5th Annual Celebration of Black Cinema & Television in 2022. Robin L Marshall/WireImage The So You Think You Can Dance judge adds that she wants her kids — daughters Weslie, 16, Zaia, 4, and son Maddox, 8 — to see her experience a full life. "I want them to see that they can still learn to trust and love again. It doesn't have to go away," she says, adding of the potential of dating again: "I would embrace it." Allison Holker Says She's 'So Grateful' Her Kids Can See Dad Stephen 'tWitch' Boss in Their New Book (Exclusive) Holker's kids — two of which she shares with Boss, Maddox and Zaia — remain her number one priority as she continues navigating life after the family's devastating loss. Facilitating conversations with her kids is a big part of that. “I want my kids to feel so safe and comfortable with me that no matter what they're feeling, no matter how scary it is, how big of a topic it is, how little of a topic it is, nothing is off the table, and I just want them feeling like they can get it off of their chest," she told PEOPLE in May. Allison Holker with kids, Weslie, Maddox and Zaia arrives at the World Premiere Of Sony Pictures Animation's "Spider-Man" Across The Spider Verse" on May 30, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. Steve Granitz/FilmMagic “We just try to make sure that we have open dialogue. And I think that really stems from me starting those kinds of conversations and, honestly, me just being vulnerable around them and exposing a little bit more of what I'm feeling as an adult and not being scared to show that sometimes I am low, or sometimes I don't have an answer for something, or sometimes I need help." Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Letting her kids see her cry has been another step she's taken in the journey. “Besides [watching] a Disney movie, my kids hadn't really seen me cry that often in life. And so I just realized it was really important to allow them to see those moments,” Holker added. “Crying for joy, crying for pain, crying for sadness, all the different types of emotions that come with those things, allowing them to be a part of it with me.”