I'm a non-binary Indigenous drag queen and have never been happier
People can spend a lifetime working out who they are and what they want in life.
Forty-year-old Shawn Cady of Canberra is almost there.
"I've always sort of been both feminine and masculine growing up. Nearly decided that I was trans[gender], then heard about the term non-binary, then went — wait there, no that's me," Shawn says.
"I am a non-binary human, that's it. I'm male, I'm female, both residing in the one body. I am two spirit."
Identifying as non-binary — where the pronouns are 'they' and 'them' — has been life-changing for the father of four.
"I'm comfortable in my own skin for a change and that took over 30 years to happen," they say.
But there's another side of Shawn that's ready to take the stage.
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A drag queen is born
Shawn Cady started out as Crystal Balls before changing their drag name to MadB, inspired by their daughter. (ABC Radio Canberra: Michael Black)
Shawn is also a drag performer called MadB.
"I'm 40 and I started doing drag two and a half years ago, so if I can do it at that age, anybody can do it," they say.
Crystal Balls was Shawn's first pick for a drag name but it was soon replaced by MadB, after their 12-year-old daughter Dominika made an observation about her single dad.
"My daughter said, 'You know Dad, you're mum and dad both,' and the letters sort of fell into place as the acronym," they say.
"And I went, alright I'm a mad b[itch] on stage and a mad b in person. This is perfect, let's own that one instead."
Dominika is a fan of MadB and her dad.
"I'm proud of him 100 [per cent], because I don't care if he's gay," she says.
"If he wants to be a mum and wants to be a dad, he gets called MadB."
Discovering Miss First Nations
Both Shawn and MadB continue to give their family, including Dominika's three older siblings, every reason to be proud of their dad.
Despite experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety and balancing life as a single parent, they decided to enter Miss First Nations, a national drag competition.
They were inspired by Black Divaz, a documentary that followed performers competing in Australia's first competition for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander drag entertainers.
"I entered for my own self-esteem and confidence," they say.
"The sisterhood that [was] showed in the Black Divaz documentary looked like an amazing experience. I was like, I need to be in on that."
Shawn proudly identifies as an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander and is originally from north Queensland, where their people are the Djabuganydji and Kaurareg.
They moved to Canberra a few years ago to access better support and services for their youngest daughter Dominika, who has an intellectual disability.
Their ambition to be part of Miss First Nations paid off, with MadB named as a finalist in the competition's second year, representing the Australian Capital Territory.
A mad dash to Sydney
Becoming MadB involves costumes, wigs, and a few fake body parts. (ABC Everyday: Jed Cooper)
MadB travelled to Sydney for the week-long competition, held at an Erskineville pub that made a cameo in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Just getting there was a feat, involving fundraising for travel and accommodation — plus a few extra considerations.
"Because of the amount of gear we needed — I'm talking lots of costumes … very big wigs, fake bum and breasts, shoes, jewellery, make-up, etc. — MadB couldn't take the bus or jump on the plane," they say.
"We had to hire a car to drive to Sydney just so all the gear could fit in."
MadB competed against six other drag queens from around Australia, all vying to be crowned Miss First Nations 2018.
And while there was some healthy competition, sisterhood was a big part of the event that brought Indigenous drag queens together.
"Indigenous drag queens, we're LGBT, we're black and we're a minority within the drag community as well. So it's that little bit harder for us with getting gigs and all that sort of stuff," Shawn says.
"Being an Indigenous drag queen also means there's the political context as well. We are having to stand up against racism and against prejudice against our cultural background and us as LGBT people."
MadB takes the stage at the Miss First Nations competition in Sydney, the only event of its kind for Indigenous drag queens. (Supplied: Joseph Mayers)
While MadB didn't walk away with the Miss First Nations crown, they went home with something better — the Miss Personality award.
"I thought, oh my Lord, of course. Miss Personality.
"For me, it reaffirmed that MadB ain't no beauty queen … I'm a personality. I like to rub people the wrong way. I like to spread messages," they say.
For MadB, being part of the competition involved persistence, but they stuck to it because they had a message to share.
"To show our young ones and anybody [that they] can do anything they set their mind to, even when their mind is telling them, 'Nah, we can't do that. Nah, that's shame. Nah, that's too much.'
"You can still do that. Just keep trying and trying and don't give up. Fight the shame. Kick it to the curb. Just do you."