Jacob
BACKER
1984
Not as much of a game as a pretty cool tech demo showcasing some of the more unorthodox gameplay the NES was capable of. There's not a whole lot of content to chew on here (level editor notwithstanding) but Excitebike is a bit deeper mechanically than it appears on a surface level. Had fun learning some speedrunning techniques and exploits to reach ludicrously high speeds.
1987
Fun, charming, and simple yet addicting. A pretty good port of the arcade classic, the NES home version mostly captures its frantic action and endless replayability despite the typical caveats of NES hardware. Had a total blast running through this one and really surprised me as one of the NES's best.
1988
A pretty shoddy beat-em-up very quickly outclassed by rival companies Sega (Streets of Rage) and Capcom (Final Fight). Feels very primitive, and while the XP and unlocking additional moves mechanics are pretty innovative and forward-thinking, they can't fix the broken base here with its terrible hit detection and wonky platforming.
1989
Certainly one of Mario's oddest adventures - level design, enemies, even power-ups really don't feel quite like Mario - and honestly not that great of one either. The shoot-em-up levels felt like a nice diversion, but this one is a bit too bland for me.
2013
Arguably Quantic Dream & David Cage's worst work, Beyond: Two Souls takes all of Cage's worst qualities and habits as a writer and multiplies them tenfold with a plot that genuinely makes no sense and is incredibly hard to follow whether playing chronologically or not, a deeply unlikeable cast despite featuring actors like Elliot Page and Willem Dafoe, and some of the most mindless gameplay across all his titles, making me yearn for the ridiculous Simon Says-esque action sequences from Indigo Prophecy for at least something to do.
Feels incredibly misogynistic, even for Cage, as well as feeling generally mean-spirited. The entire game feels voyeuristic of Elliot Page and I can't shake an absolutely rancid vibe throughout the experience. While Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit and Heavy Rain were also terrible, at least they were frequently funny throughout and kept our group engaged and having a good time. Not only is Beyond bad, it's dreadfully boring.
A dour, bland, boring slog that takes ten hours to say absolutely nothing at all.
Feels incredibly misogynistic, even for Cage, as well as feeling generally mean-spirited. The entire game feels voyeuristic of Elliot Page and I can't shake an absolutely rancid vibe throughout the experience. While Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit and Heavy Rain were also terrible, at least they were frequently funny throughout and kept our group engaged and having a good time. Not only is Beyond bad, it's dreadfully boring.
A dour, bland, boring slog that takes ten hours to say absolutely nothing at all.
1991
A strange little game for sure, a traditional 2D platformer with acceleration and breaking mechanics that make it stand out from its contemporaries. Very short and deviously difficult by the last couple of stages.
An impressive port of a thoroughly mediocre 3D console fighter. Toshinden has never been a great series, but its adaptation into a more standard 2D affair looks and plays decently on the Game Boy. Arguably better than its console counterpart.
1992
An oddity for sure, feels incredible detached from the mainline Ninja Gaiden series, and features an overall much fairer and easier difficulty. Incredibly short but had a decent time with it.
1990
Not much to sink your teeth into in this one, a very short, relatively easy shoot 'em up with some nice visuals for the Game Boy.
1991
Overly difficult to the point of comedy, most of the enjoyment in this comes from seeing how each level repeatedly screws you over and watching the funny death animations. It's actually pretty varied in mechanics and level design for a beat 'em up, but it's honestly too annoying to fully appreciate.
1997
The classic titles really are just glorified LCD games and relatively uninteresting today, but the upgraded Mario-themed modern remakes of those classics are made mechanically deeper and have a charming coat of paint slathered on. A fun enough time killer for a bit.
1993
With the benefit of being so late on the system, as well as a sequel to a well-received Game Boy title, Kirby's Adventure manages to squeeze the last bit of life out of the NES and easily become one of its strongest titles. Genuinely impressive how feature-complete and instantly iconic the series became on just the second entry. Every aspect of this game is lovely, with fantastic music and adorable graphics. Only major issue is the admittedly dire NES slowdown, but easily fixed with overclocking an emulator.
1985
Mechanically more interesting that many other arcade classics of the era, but the home port quickly devolves into complete chaos. First couple levels are pretty fun but it eventually becomes basically impossible to react to everything going on around you. Not much to chew on here.
1992
Lovely little game. A bit too basic and short to recommend over its sequels, but a charming start to the franchise. Excellent sprite work and the origin of many iconic Kirby tunes.
1991
Unmemorable, but has some interesting level design that allows each of the seven stages to be fully distinct from one another. A basic Game Boy shooter, but a decent enough way to spend an hour.