Impact play, or the BDSM practice where one partner strikes another with their hands or a toy for sexual gratification, can sound a lil intimidating if you don’t know where to start. But impact play doesn’t have to be extreme.
The beauty of it is that it’s a consensual activity between you and a partner, which means you both get to define the intensity of the action, ranging from soft love taps to harder smack-dat-ass slaps that can leave a mark.
When it comes to where to start, the buttocks and inner thighs have the most protective fat and muscle, explains Candice Smith, intimacy coach and cofounder of the KinkKit, so these areas are good to experiment with. “Other parts of the body have thinner skin or cover vital organs and can be damaged with less effort,” she adds.
While the intensity can vary, the action must always be consensual, and if you’re game, experimenting can make for an erotic exploration of mixing a bit of pain with pleasure.
On a physical level, a strike on your butt, upper thighs, or other erogenous zones stimulates your skin’s nerve receptors and can trigger the release of feel-good endorphins and the neurotransmitter dopamine.
The smack itself may feel amazing to you, but it can also make any pleasurable touch that follows feel heightened too, resulting in a potential grand-slam climax.
For some, the taboo vibes and uncertainty of getting slaphappy can also be a turn-on, says intimacy expert Sandra LaMorgese, PhD, author of Switch: Time for a Change. But not everyone is into getting whacked.
So before you or your partner try it, have a convo where you agree on getting handsy, how
far you’ll go, and what your safe word will be if things get too intense, suggests LaMorgese.
Start by practicing some smacks on a pillow using a flat palm. Then lightly spank the fleshy part of your partner’s booty, and vice versa. Feels hot? Then consider adding these accessories for a sensory upgrade.
Not being able to see the next strike coming can built hot anticipation.
A little flick of the wrist while holding this sweet-looking riding crop can go a long way.
For a thrilling effect, try alternating swats with featherlight tickles on one erogenous zone.
Don't want to use your hand? The wide, flat end of a paddle can give the same sensation.
