One thing about sex is that, in addition to the many, many different ways to do it, there are also many, many different ways to talk about it. From different words for various sex acts, kinks and fetishes, and sex positions to the ever-evolving lexicon of sexual slang, there are a whole lot of sex words out there to describe all the ways we get down and dirty in (and out of) bed.
Hence why we, your fearless Cosmo sex editors, have been keeping you in the know by defining just about every single sex thing you can think of (and probably plenty you’ve never even heard of, TBH), over in our Sexopedia. But, listen, we know you’re busy. Maybe you don’t have time to pore over our entire Sexopedia (I mean, not to brag, but she’s extensive!). Or maybe you’re brand new to the wide world of sex stuff and just need a crash course in sexual slang. Or, hey, maybe you’re an aging Millennial who has recently come to the TikTok-induced conclusion that, uh, there are a whole lot of new sex words out there with which you’re shockingly unfamiliar and could use a little sex slang for 2024 refresher. (All good, no shame in that game!)
In any event, that’s exactly why we’ve gone ahead and put together this handy little list of must-know sex terms—from sex acts, to orientations, to kinks and fetishes, to positions, to sex slang. I know, that’s kind of a wide range! But what all these words have in common is that they're all important to know for exploration and representation. Not only that, but some words and labels that used to be "cool" (or at least non-offensive) are now very much not cool, and some umbrella terms have now been expanded upon to better represent different communities. Don’t worry—we’ll explain it all! (It’s kind of our job, and we kind of—read: totally—love it.)
Whatever brings you to our little sex glossary, trust that you are very much in the right place if you’re looking to brush up on your sexual vocabulary. Consider this pocket-sized list of the 123 sex words you should know our little gift to you. Go forth and learn some sex stuff!
Your Guide to Sex Slang, Right This Way...
Abrosexual: A sexual orientation that describes someone whose sexual preferences and/or attraction changes over time. This could look like someone who has once said they are bisexual later coming out as asexual.
Aegosexual: Part of the asexual spectrum (more on that below) aegosexuality is generally defined as a disconnect between the self and the object or experience of one’s sexual arousal. While aegosexual people have the ability to experience sexual attraction, arousal, and desire in response to sexual stimuli, they likely lack any inclination to participate in those scenarios or even to imagine themselves in them.
AFAB: Assigned female at birth.
Age Play: A form of kink wherein partners take on characters of different ages within their Dom/sub dynamic. The Dom is in the “caregiver” role and the sub is in the “younger” role. Age play is a bigger umbrella term that includes subsets of more specific forms of play within it, such as Adult Baby Diaper Lovers (ABDL), DD/lg relationships (Daddy Dom/little girl), and Bigs/middles (caregiver/pre-teen). The common thread is that in each of these dynamics, someone is in the younger submissive role and someone is the caregiver, kink educator Emerson Karsh previously told Cosmo.
Allosexual: A sexual orientation that describes someone who experiences any type of sexual attraction to someone or something.
AMAB: Assigned male at birth.
Amazon (position): An advanced sex position that’s a combination between missionary and cowgirl. The bottom partner lies down on their back with their knees bent up in the air, and the top partner gets between their legs and slowly lowers down onto their partner. Both parties are intertwined, and the top partner uses their knees and hands for balance.
Anal Sex: Most commonly refers to anal penetration, typically with a penis but could also be with a strap-on.
Anorgasmia: The inability to have an orgasm.
Apothisexual: Used interchangeably with the term “sex-repulsed,” apothisexual people fall on the asexual spectrum and are repulsed by the idea of sex that involves them. However, they are typically fine with others engaging in sex or sexual activities that don’t involve them.
Asexual: A person who doesn’t experience sexual desire. They can be attracted to someone but don’t feel the need to get physically intimate with them.
Asexual Spectrum: The asexual spectrum, commonly abbreviated as “ace-spec” or “a-spec,” refers to sexual identities and orientations that fall under the asexual umbrella. Just as there are many different ways to experience sexuality, there are a variety of ways people might experience asexuality, and there are a number of different asexual identities that describe that diverse array of asexual experiences.
A-Spot: A protrusion of the cervix into the vagina that creates a little "pleasure pocket." Sometimes referred to as the female degenerated prostate.
Autosexual: Someone who feels a sexual attraction toward themselves.
Auralism: “Auralism is a valid sexual fetish defined as arousal from sound,” psychotherapist Dr. Lee Phillips, a certified sex and couples therapist, told Cosmo. “This can be the sounds that are made during sexual activity, such as moans and groans, or even the sounds of wetness that sex creates.”
Bareback: Having sex without a condom. This is risky and kind of dangerous, as it increases your chances of STIs and/or pregnancy.
BDSM: An acronym that stands for any or all of the following: bondage and discipline; dominance and submission; sadism and masochism.
Bisexual: Defined by GLAAD as someone who “has the potential to be physically, romantically, and/or emotionally attracted to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.”
Blood Play: A form of kink play in which people use blood as a key component of their intimate play. This kind of play falls under the kink umbrella, as it is considered to be outside of the ‘normal’ bounds of what society defines as ‘sex.’ Blood play can involve scenes with real or fake blood. “It can range from something as simple as pinpricks to more complex scenes involving needles, razor blades, or knives,” sex expert Julieta Chiara, a kink instructor and writer, previously told Cosmo.
Blow Job: When someone puts their partner's penis into their mouth and proceeds to suck and lick it for the penis-haver’s pleasure. Also called oral sex, fellatio, or “going down on” someone. The female version is called cunnilingus.
Blue Balls: As a slang term (aka not a medical term), “blue balls” refer to the pain someone feels in their scrotum from prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation. Blue balls are not dangerous, not actually a medical condition, and don’t cause any long-term damage, nor do the balls turn a blue shade.
Bulge: The visible outline of a penis through someone’s pants.
Butt Plug: An anal sex toy shaped like a teardrop meant to be placed or “plugged” into one’s butthole.
Ceterosexual: Someone who's attracted to a person who is non-binary, transgender, and in some cases, anyone who isn’t cisgender. You may hear people use the term "skoliosexual" also, but this is no longer appropriate since “skolio” means “crooked” in Latin.
Circumcision: The removal of the foreskin of the penis to reveal the head. The procedure typically happens when the person is a baby, although it can sometimes be performed during adulthood for medical reasons, religious reasons, or just because a person wants it.
Cishet: A broad term used to describe someone who is both cisgender and heterosexual.
Comphet: Stands for "compulsory heterosexuality," and is the harmful notion that heterosexuality is the only valid sexuality and that everyone should be/is expected to be straight. This feeling is a result of heteronormativity.
Cosplay: Short for “costume play” and refers to dressing up as one of your favorite characters from pop culture and taking on the persona of that character.
Cowgirl: A sex position where you have your legs on the outside of your partner’s hips and face them.
Creampie: The non-dessert definition is when semen visibly drips out of a vagina or anus after ejaculation during sex.
Cuckolding: Back in the day—we’re talking way back, like, Shakespeare times—‘cuckold’ was an old-school term referring to a man whose wife had sex with other men without his knowledge, making him look like a fool. The word gets its name from the cuckoo bird, known for its tricky habit of laying its eggs in the nests of other birds. But these days, “Cuckolding” as a consensual sex practice in the kink and ethically non-monogamous communities is when a man’s wife has sex with another man—usually in front of him—and everyone involved is 100 percent on board with it. (It’s worth noting that while the husband/wife dynamic is traditional to this practice, folks of all genders and relationship styles can partake of this kink.)
Cum Shot: A term used in pornography referring to the moment someone with a penis ejaculates, usually on their partner, where the semen can easily be seen.
Cunnilingus: A fancy word that means oral sex when performed on someone with a vagina. The giver uses their lips and tongue to concentrate on the person’s vulva and clitoris.
Cupiosexual: A word that falls under the larger asexual spectrum that describes someone who still desires a sexual relationship, despite feeling little to no attraction.
Deep Throating: A blow job technique where the giver puts as much of the penis into their mouth as they can (sometimes the whole penis), which can sometimes cause gagging or even vomiting.
Demisexual: A sexual orientation that defines a person who needs to feel a strong emotional connection with someone in order to feel any sexual attraction to them. In other words, demisexual people are capable of sexual attraction but only in specific circumstances
DD/lg: One of the aforementioned subsets of age play, DD/lg is an acronym for “Daddy Dom/little girl.” It’s a common type of BDSM play where the dominant partner (referred to as “Daddy”) takes on a nurturing and guiding role, while the submissive partner (referred to as “little girl”) takes on a more childlike, submissive demeanor and relies on the Daddy for care and guidance.
Diaphragm: A contraceptive device that sits at the opening of the cervix to block sperm.
Dirty Sanchez: An act where someone puts their finger into their partner’s ass, then wipes any fecal matter that may transfer onto their finger over that person’s lip, resulting in a poop mustache. FWIW, it’s generally accepted that this act is more urban legend than something you’d actually encounter in the bedroom.
Dirty Talk: Talking about sex acts with your partner in an explicit, arousing way before or while engaging in sex acts.
Doggy-Style: A sex position where the receiver is on their hands and knees while their partner enters them from behind.
DTR: An acronym that stands for "define the relationship." It's an initiated conversation with your partner(s) to agree on what type of relationship you want together.
Edge Play: Extreme sexual activity that falls under the BDSM umbrella. It involves trying riskier activities and oftentimes consensual physical or psychological pain for pleasure, arousal, and stimulation.
Edging: Refers to delaying an orgasm for as long as possible with the goal of having an ultimately more intense climax.
Erogenous Zones: Areas of the body such as the neck and ears that experience heightened sensitivity to touch and generate a sexual response.
Erotic Hypnosis: Also known as "hypno sex," erotic hypnosis is a form of hypnosis that increases sexual desire, sexual feelings, and sexual responses.
Ethical Non-Monogamy: Know also as "ENM," it's the practice of having multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships with the knowledge, consent, and agreement of all parties involved.
Face-Sitting: When someone dangles their genitals over their partner’s mouth to receive oral sex.
Facial: When referring to the sex definition of a facial, it’s when a penis-haver ejaculates semen onto their partner’s face
FinDom: Short for “financial domination,” this kink is rooted in the transfer of money from a submissive individual to their Dom, but make it a sex thing. FinDom differs from regular old gift-giving in that the submissive often gives money or assets specifically because the Dom has demanded it.
Fingering: When someone uses their fingers to stimulate their partner’s clitoris and/or vagina in order to bring them to orgasm or give them pleasure.
Fluid Bonding: A conscious decision made between/among sexual partners to forgo barrier methods (like condoms) during sex and share bodily fluids.
Foot Fetish: A sexual interest in feet. A person with a foot fetish may be aroused by touching, licking, rubbing, kissing, sucking, and massaging of feet.
Foot Job: Similar to hand jobs, but involves using feet rather than hands to rub and stimulate a partner’s genitals.
Foreplay: Everything you do before intercourse, like making out, holding each other while spooning, cute lil neck smooches, fingering, oral sex, spanking, humping, dirty talk, or even just sending a sext prior to pants coming off.
Fraysexuality: A sexual identity associated with losing sexual attraction to a person once an emotional bond is formed.
Frottage: Remember dry-humping? Yeah, it got a cool new rebrand. Enter: Frottage. ““Frottage’ is the French verb for ‘to rub,’” says Kristine D’Angelo, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist. “It is the non-penetrative way to feel pleasure by rubbing body parts together for sexual stimulation.”
Golden Shower: Also called “water sports” and refers to a sex act involving urine. This can mean peeing on your partner, in front of your partner, near your partner, or having your partner pee on/near/in front of you.
Greysexual: Also called graysexual, grey-ace, or gray-ace, greysexuality falls within the asexual spectrum and defines individuals who experience sexual attraction and sexual feelings very rarely—anywhere from a few times in their whole life to anything more frequently.
Gynesexual: A sexual orientation of being attracted to the feminine. This means feminine-presenting folks, female body parts, feminine women (cis-gendered, trans, or otherwise), or anyone else who appears to be more femme. To be clear: Gynesexuality does not mean you’re only attracted to women. It means you’re attracted to qualities that align with femininity.
Hand Fetish: Also known as quirofilia and cheirophilia, a hand fetish is a sexual interest in hands. The interest can be in the whole hand itself or specific parts like the palms, fingers, or nails.
Hand Job: Using your hand to stimulate someone’s penis until orgasm.
Heteroflexible: Someone who is typically attracted to the opposite gender but also open to having same-sex experiences and/or is occasionally attracted to their own gender.
Heteronormativity: The problematic worldview that makes it (wrongly) seem like all relationships are between cisgender, heterosexual people. This detrimentally promotes heterosexuality as the "normal" or default sexual orientation.
Hickey: Also known as a “love bite.” A hickey is caused by one person sucking the other’s skin (usually on their neck) until small blood vessels burst, creating a patch of discoloration, aka a bruise.
Hypergamy: Dating or marrying someone you think is more successful and/or secure than you, whether consciously or subconsciously.
Jelqing: The practice of stroking the penis when erect in a particular way to increase its size. This is a similar concept to using a penis pump.
Kitchen Table Polyamory: When all members of a polycule have or are expected to have a friend-like relationship, enough so that everyone could, in theory, sit around to share a meal together.
Masturbation: The act of touching or manipulating one’s own genitals for pleasure, which can result in an orgasm.
Metamours: Your lover’s lover in a non-monogamous relationship—aka your wife’s boyfriend, your girlfriend’s girlfriend, and/or your boyfriend's casual hookup buddy.
Mile-High Club: Refers collectively to anyone who has ever had sex on a plane.
MILF: An acronym that stands for “Mom I’d Like to Fuck.”
Missionary: A sex position where one person lies down on their back, while their partner gets on top and thrusts and grinds on them.
Motorboating: The act of putting your face in between someone’s breasts and moving your head back and forth quickly while making a raspberry sound with your tongue and lips (like the sound of a motorboat).
Non-binary: Someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman.
Nylon Fetish: The sexual interest in various facets of nylons. Someone with a nylon fetish might like wearing, touching, smelling, or simply looking at nylons.
Omnisexual: A sexual orientation that describes someone who's attracted to all people, regardless of their gender.
Open Relationship: When one or both partners of a core relationship are consensually able to explore sexual intimacy with others.
Orbiting: When your ex continues to interact with all your Instagram Stories and social media, letting you know they’re still around.
Orgy: Group sex with several partners in a party-like scenario.
Pangender: Generally refers to someone who identifies with all or multiple gender identities. A pangender person might identify as a multitude of genders all at once, or they might identify more with certain genders at certain times.
Pansexual: The sexual, romantic, emotional, physical, or spiritual attraction to people regardless of their specific gender identity or sexual expression. Pansexuality falls under the bisexuality umbrella but goes beyond being attracted to both men and women.
Pearl Necklace: When someone with a penis ejaculates onto their partner’s neck or chest. The term comes from the drops of semen that are said to look like the individual pearls on a strand of beads.
Pegging: When someone without a penis performs anal intercourse on their partner with the help of a strap-on dildo.
Period Sex: Having sex while you menstruate.
Pillow Princess: Someone who likes to lie back and let their partner do most of the physical work during sex.
Polyamory: A form of consensual non-monogamy that emphasizes emotional—and oftentimes sexual—connection among multiple partners.
Polycule: A broad term used to describe all the interconnected partners in the same polyamorous network.
Polysexual: Someone who's attracted to many genders and identities.
Pompoir: Using vaginal muscles in different ways to stimulate the penis during intercourse.
Postcoital Dysphoria: When a person experiences feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety or agitation after consensual sex—even if that sex was loving, satisfying, or enjoyable.
Praise Kink: Basically, a praise kink is exactly what it sounds like: receiving pleasure and gratification from being praised in a sexual context. If hearing things like, “Good girl” in bed makes you melt, this one’s for you.
Pregnant Sex: Sex while pregnant.
Primal play: This kink centers on partners getting in touch with their baser, animal instincts. Essentially, this means becoming literally primal in their approach to sexual expression. “This often involves role-playing predator and prey dynamics, reflecting the uninhibited and instinctual sexual encounters observed in the wild,” says sex therapist Nazanin Moali, PhD, host of the Sexology podcast.
Queening: A slang term for face-sitting (see above!).
Quickie: Speedy, rushed sex, often without foreplay or cuddling.
Relationship Anarchy: Also called "RA," is a relationship style in which there are no rules or expectations other than the ones the people in the relationship decide upon.
Reverse-Cowgirl: A sex position that’s basically regular cowgirl (someone facing their partner and straddling them with knees on either side of their hips), but backward, so they're facing their partner's feet instead.
Rimming: Also called a rim job, tossed salad, and analingus; refers to oral sex involving mouth-to-anus contact.
Roaching: When someone you’re dating hides the fact they are also dating other people at the same time, and when confronted about it, claim they didn’t realize it was a monogamous relationship.
Rough Sex: Basically the opposite of “making love.” Refers to any sort of S&M (sadistic and masochistic) sexual activity. The definition of “rough” varies from person to person, so there’s no hard and fast rule here. Talk to your partner about how they define “rough” if you’re going to experiment with consensual rough sex.
Rusty Trombone: The act of performing a simultaneous rim job and hand job.
Sapiosexual: A controversial term that refers to a person who is attracted, primarily or exclusively, to people they find intelligent with less or no importance placed on the person’s appearance, gender, or identity.
Sex-Repulsed: Most commonly used within the asexual community, "sex-repulsed" is a way of experiencing one’s sexuality, but it’s not a sexuality in and of itself. Sex repulsion can mean someone finds sex disgusting or revolting and in general, would not want to look at, hear about, talk about, or think about sex or any sexual activity.
Sexual Frustration: A broad term used to describe feelings of dissatisfaction, depression, anxiety, and anger due to unmet sexual needs.
Shocker: A sex act when someone sticks their pointer and middle finger inside their partner's vagina while also inserting their pinkie finger in the anus. It's traditionally a sexist, non-consensual term because the anal penetration is meant to "shock" the receiver. Not cool.
Shrimping: The act of sucking on your partner’s toes.
Situationship: A catch-all term for relationships sitting at the intersection of “hooking up” and “in a relationship.”
Sixty-Nine (69): A sex position where two people simultaneously give each other oral sex.
Snowballing: A sexual act where a penis-haver ejaculates into their partner’s mouth, then open-mouth kisses their partner, passing the semen back and forth into each other’s mouths.
Spooning: When two people lie side-by-side, butt-to-back. The small spoon is the person on the inside, and the big spoon is on the outside.
Squirting: When fluid comes out of someone’s vagina, often accompanying orgasm.
Strap-On: A two-piece sex toy that includes a dildo and a harness, which attaches to the hips of the person wearing it. Strap-ons are often used for penetrative vaginal or anal sex.
Submarining: When an ex pops back into your life and then acts like nothing happened during the period you weren’t together.
Tantric Sex: Sex that lasts for hours and hours and involves study, meditation, breath-work, eye contact, and intimacy with your partner.
Teabagging: When a penis-haver places their scrotum into the mouth or onto the face or forehead of another person, usually while standing or kneeling over that person.
Temperature Play: An erotic form of consensual sensation play that's often carried out by people who engage in BDSM play or kink. The goal of temperature play is to use the elements of heat and cold to heighten the senses.
Thigh Job: A sexual act where someone's genitals are stimulated by a partner's thighs. A thigh job can be done with clothes or bare thighs, thighs in latex, pantyhose, thigh highs, lubed up, or without lube.
Threesome: When three people have sex with each other simultaneously.
Venus Butterfly (technique): A sex act that involves both oral stimulation of the genitalia (cunnilingus) and manual stimulation (fingering) at the same time.
Vers: This stands for “versatile” and refers to those who enjoy being both the top and the bottom during sex (and in kink dynamics, the Dominant and/or the submissive).
Vibrator: A sex toy that vibrates. While it can be used externally on the clitoris or penis, it can also be used internally in the vagina or anus, depending on its shape, design, and directions for use.
Yoni: "Vagina" in Sanskrit.
Yoni Massage: A tantric practice used to increase sensitivity in the vagina and vulva.
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won’t stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
