When your partner is away, how do you come out to play? Do you #FreeTheNip and walk around your apartment, boobs to the wind? Maybe you rummage through your old issues of Cosmo and read up on sex tips while listening to “Pon de Replay.” (Can’t blame ya. 😉) Or perhaps you cover yourself from head-to-toe in vanilla-scented Tree Hut sugar scrub while watching the most poorly-rated horror movies on Hulu. (Just me on that last one? Mmmk.)
Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw famously coined unique, quirky solo activities like these “Secret Single Behaviors”—SSBs—in the season 4 episode “The Good Fight.” Feeling a little stifled by her chatty BF Aidan Shaw in their small, cluttered apartment, Carrie tells her friends she misses the peace of her space before he moved in—the kind of peace where she could do the private things she’d never want him to see her do; things she never had to think twice about when she was single, like eating a stack of saltines with grape jelly while standing in her kitchen reading fashion magazines. Miranda says her SSB is putting Vaseline on her hands and “putting them in those Borghese conditioning gloves while watching infomercials.” Charlotte’s SSB? Studying her pores in a magnifying mirror for an hour every night. (In classic Samantha fashion, she says she has nothing to hide.)
While the episode aired in 2002, the entire series dropped on Netflix in April 2024, and Gen Z viewers are discovering the horny, early-aughts show for the first time, taking to TikTok to share their own SSBs. User @fluentlyforward said she understands why girls get annoyed when their partners come home later than they say they will: It forces them to cut down on their SSB time prematurely. Hers: Wearing her bunion separators while listening to the Hannah Montana soundtrack.
We get it—some things just feel inexplicably embarrassing, and having a few personal habits you’d rather your partner not be privy to is understandable. But, a quick PSA: Trust that if your partner loves you, they won’t dump you for picking your nose, wearing your bunion separators, or whatever random thing you do when they’re not home. Your SSB is NBD bestie! No matter how much Vaseline you slather on your hands. Promise.
Don’t believe us? We asked 12 readers to share their SSBs, not just to prove that you’re not alone in your quirks, but to celebrate them, too. (And FWIW, Carrie ends up asking Aidan for an hour of solo time per day, to indulge in her beloved SSBs. He was more than happy to oblige.👏🏼)
- “I take a long, hot bath while watching WitchTok and stare at my pores in a mirror when I get out.” —Paige, 30
- “I like to have my Alexa play High School Musical and other Disney bops while I clean the house in the baggiest pair of shorts and a sports bra. Also, if I don’t want to come home after work or errands, I’ll just drive around for a bit and sing country songs.” — Jenn, 25
- “[My SSB] is watching Minecraft YouTube videos while eating handfuls of shredded Colby Jack.” — Sarah, 23
- “I like to watch YouTube deep-dives about Disney Channel stars and sing along to old YouTube videos of emo songs. I also love putting on a YouTube video and then going on TikTok on my phone while the video plays in the background.” —Ashley, 28
- “I like to make up songs to current songs and sing really loudly. Like lately, it’s been songs to the rhythm of ‘I Will Survive.’” —Alison, 27
- “I sit naked in front of a fan after I shower to dry myself off even faster so that I can experiment and try on new outfit possibilities/combinations, and I never want [my partner] to see because sometimes my ideas look way better in my head.” —Lauren, 25
- “I [do] yoga to make me fart when I get gas cramps, and just generally roll around on the floor. Or, [I] like attempting old ballet steps to see if I can still do them.” —Sophia, 25
- “I take a bubble bath, but I bring my laptop in and put it on the toilet to watch cartoons and YouTube, and I usually bring in chips and a bev (can't be without snacks). Also, I talk back to my podcasts like a convo when [my partner] isn’t here.” —Callie, 24
- “I’m a huge fan of putting my headphones in or turning the record player on and having a classic solo dance party. I also like cooking new recipes. In case I botch the meal, I won’t have an audience.” — Sydney, 23
- “Walking around the house with no bra in a tee, and tucking the tee under my titties when I’m hot.” — Holly, 25
- “Watching ASMR on the big TV, making weird noises with my mouth, and conversing with the cat. [I] also recite the Jess Mariano ‘Why did you drop out of Yale?’ monologue from Gilmore Girls.” — Kate, 25
- “Pooping/peeing with the doors open. I feel stifled by my poop fumes when I’m enclosed!” — Lizzy, 25
Maria Serra (she/her) is a freelance sex and relationships writer who covers topics relating to butts, boobs, and everything in between. After secretly getting a degree in human sexuality (sorry, parents), she began covering general and sexual health topics for Her Campus, Spoon University, and Women’s Health magazine. In her spare time, she’s probably listening to trashy emo music with her chihuahua-pug, Bobbie. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
