We hear a lot about backdoor play these days, with everything from anal sex to butt plugs to pegging making its way into bedrooms near you—and for good reason! The anus is chock-full of nerve endings just waiting to be explored, which means bringing anal play into your sex life can GREATLY increase pleasure for one and all. Even better news: There are so many ways to play when it comes to butt stuff—including, yes, getting your mouth involved. Hello and welcome to the wonderfully pleasurable world of rimming.
Rimming, also called a rim job, tossed salad, and analingus, is oral sex involving mouth-to-anus contact. It is some seriously next-level, sensation-packed stuff. According to psychotherapist Lee Phillips, Ed.D, a certified sex and couples therapist, rimming can involve licking, kissing, and sucking the anus. “The person performing rimming may partially insert their tongue in the anal canal by moving it in and out and using a circular motion with their tongue,” he adds. There really are so many ways to do it.
There are also tons of different reasons to get in on all the analingual action. A rim job can serve as foreplay to help get the anus ready for penetration or even be enjoyed as a sex act all on its own. “For many, it can be an incredibly intimate and arousing experience. It’s another way to explore and heighten sexual pleasure,” explainsboard-certified sex educator Linnea Marie, a sexpert at BedBible.com. “It can also foster a deep sense of intimacy and trust between partners, opening new dimensions of sexual exploration and connection.”
As with all forms of sex, it’s important to break down what rimming is exactly, how to do it properly, and the safety precautions we need to take in order to have the very best rim job experiences possible.
Dinner is served!
How to Give a Rim Job
People of all genders can rim. It’s a sex act available to be enjoyed by one and all, no matter which body parts you have. Get into position–usually behind your partner on all-fours, or between their legs with them laying on their back, legs spread. Spread their cheeks, and have at it with your lips and tongue. Focus on the outside of the anus before venturing in.
You can use many of the same techniques you’d use while performing cunnilingus, like slow licks, kisses, fast tongue flicks, gentle swirls, or whatever else both parties are into.
How to Prepare for Rimming
Some people may get self-conscious about cleanliness in the butt area before a rim job, says sex educator Tristan Taormino, a sex educator and author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. If you suspect rimming may happen at some point in an upcoming sex sesh, Taormino recommends taking a shower or bath beforehand, which is not bad advice for any sexual encounter, really.
While rimming usually involves the outer part of the anus, some may decide to douche in order to alleviate any anxieties around the “poop thing.” Because, hey, you might want to stick your tongue in there, you know? Anal douches are used to cleanse the anus and rectum before anal play. If you plan to engage in anal penetration with your rimming extravaganza, perform the douche 1-2 hours before you get busy. Use a simple bulb enema for this (a bulb enema is a rubber bulb with a nozzle on the end). Douching solution goes into the bulb and the nozzle is inserted in the anus. The purpose is to cleanse the rectum of any lingering poop particles. You rinse the anal cavity until the water runs (mostly) clear.
Keep in mind: If you’re not going for full-on penetration during this rimming experience, Marie says you really only need to soap up a finger and gently put it up your bum to thoroughly cleanse the area. Be sure to use antibacterial soap for this.
While you definitely do not have to douche prior to any kind of anal play, everyone is entitled to their own hygiene preferences and should do what makes them feel most comfortable and ready to play.
Safety Precautions for Rimming
Wrap It Up
As is true of most sex acts, rimming does come with some risk of STI transmission. The best way to prevent spreading STIs and other infections, intestinal parasites, bacteria, and viruses during a rimming sesh are barrier methods like dental dams. Marie says you can also use flavored condoms, cutting up one side to lie it flat over your partner’s anus. This way, you can have all the protection you need while enjoying the taste of the flavor, rather than the taste of butthole (if that isn’t your jam, fam).
Philips says that edible lube can also be helpful. He suggests Sliquid Sliquid Pink Lemonade and Me Sugar Rush Flavored Gel.
Clean Your Hole
Again, a simple pre-sex shower (where you clean your crack) should do the trick, but see above for advice on douching if you wanna get things extra squeaky clean.
It can also be helpful to trim the hair around your bum-hole for easier access and cleaner sexperiences. Be sure you’re taking extra care while doing this, as you don’t want to cause injury. Always use a pair of clean, sharp scissors. Do not shave your butthole, as this can cause microtears of the tissue, which can lead to infection and the easier spread of STIs.
Be Prepared to at Least Come in Contact With a Little Poop (Sorry!)
We know this isn’t the sexiest thing in the world, but it is worth considering. While taking a literal shitload to the tongue is not super likely to happen during a rimming sesh, the reality is that when it comes to butt stuff, there’s always some possibility of encountering some (usually very small) amount of fecal matter. Generally speaking, though, it’s not particularly risky from a health perspective. Basically, there’s bacteria everywhere—in your anus, in your genitals, etc.—and getting this run-of-the-mill bacteria in your mouth wouldn’t typically do much damage. Overall, if your partner is healthy, rimming should be fine.
However, if your partner has any bowel issues—IBS, parasites, or stomach pain—don’t risk it.
Get Tested on the Reg
Prevention is key when it comes to all things sex. “Getting tested for STIs regularly and encouraging your partner to do so helps maintain good sexual health,” Marie says. Knowing your status (and your partner’s) can help you make informed decisions that feel safe and healthy for you.
Don’t Rim If You’re Not Feeling Well
If you’re experiencing diarrhea, constipation, or any other gut stuff, it isn’t a good idea to rim until you’re feeling better. If symptoms persist, contact your primary care physician.
Rim Job Positions
If you’re burned out on doggy style, which is the easiest way to perform rimming, there are plenty of other positions to try.
If you like to dominate in bed and your lover is more submissive, have them bend over and grab a table or a desk. Then you can sit behind them in a chair or kneel on the floor, and put your face in those sweet cheeks. The anticipation of not being able to see what’s happening or when the rimming will begin can be extremely arousing for your partner.
Another position to test out is simply lying down. The receiver lies down on a bed with their hips and ass tilted up and a pillow under their pelvis. Then the giver crouches behind them on their knees, grabs the lover’s hips for leverage, and leans into their butt.
For even more ways to rim, might we recommend checking out some of these expert-approved positions to take your rim job sexperience to the next level? You’re so welcome. Happy ass-eating, friends!
