The Enumerated Downfalls of the Pavilion in the Hinterlands
Photo collage: Ansellia Kulikku. 1. The dead porn star wasn’t as handsome as he could have been. His abs needed work. His hair was an uncombed mess. A farmer’s tan cut through his broad biceps. He had a flat ass. He wasn’t as handsome as he could have been, but he was undoubtedly handsome.
The evidence that can be known outlasts all beautiful memory.
2. In his videos, the dead porn star has a great smile. White teeth. Deep dimples. Pink lips frame a light moustache, and a line of beard carves out the angles of his jaw. When he speaks in Japanese his mouth puckers in a way that makes his teeth magnetic. They shine like polished metal. His partners wear blindfolds or hide behind dark sunglasses. His partners do not smile at all.
3. My ex adored the dead porn star. He wasn’t dead when we started dating, but he was dead by the time of our last phone call.
My ex was tall but not too tall. My ex was young but not as young as me. He rode the MRT to work but drove his own car when he took me out to dinner. He loved talking about the colonial backdrop of Victorian literature and gossiping about the assassinated senator’s crazy TV personality daughter. He sang Tom Waits in the shower when he thought I wasn’t listening, Tom Jones in broad daylight just to see me blush. My ex spoke four languages, two of which I understood and two of which I didn’t. He would put his mouth to the back of my neck and whisper in Cantonese or Mandarin, I was
