Ask the Author: Jeff Mach

“Why do you keep asking yourself questions?” Jeff Mach

Answered Questions (13)

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What's WRONG with you?

Jeff Mach I haven't consumed enough Knights lately, and therefore, I may be a bit low on iron.

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How do you deal with writer’s block?

Jeff Mach My muse and I have regular Matrix-style kung-fu fights. This is odd, because while I am ranked in several martial arts, I've never studied kung fu. However, I generally win, because I believe in Archimedes' Principle: "When you do battle with your Muse, always bring a large, weighted object, such as a sturdy wooden club."

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What are you most looking forward to about www.EvilExpo.com ?

Jeff Mach I hear that Jeff Mach will be reading from his now book, "I HATE Your Prophecy"!

I'm going to try to avoid that part if possible.

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Check out Andrew Marc Rowe. You might really enjoy his stuff, including his new one, The Emerald Helm. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08GR55YDP/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=emerald+helm+rowe&qid=1598487335&sr=8-1

Jeff Mach Okay, thank you.

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Do you have any tips on how authors can gain exposure for their work? (Excluding social media and ads)

Jeff Mach I heartily recommend grabbing your friends by the throat and shouting, "Purchase my tome, or so help me, I will END you."

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Is it true that the moat around your dark castle is full of whiskey?

Jeff Mach Specifically, Bourbon.

The SCOTCH is reserved for the moat INSIDE the castle.

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Is it possible to use this to ask yourself a question?

Jeff Mach Yes, but it seems a rather silly thing to do, you know?

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Of all the creatures of the night that you have come to know and make allegiance with, which do you think would be the best fit for a 'Portal Room Guardian'? My infernal centipede demon keeps vomiting lava all over the room and ruining the carpet leading in/out of the portal. When my guests arrive, I want them to see luxury THEN destruction, not the reverse! I don't think they're a good fit and need a replacement.

Jeff Mach I have always thought you want one tiny Kobold with 2 hit points. That way guests arrive, get their minds blown, and are in no shape to resist as you inflict the rest of your plan upon them.

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What is your favourite method to eat pancakes? (Excluding having them with curdled blood and chilled soul on the side).

Jeff Mach You know, I figure, as long as on is eating one's pancakes in good company, i.e., with Hellboy if at all possible, there's just no WRONG way to do it.

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What is your favourite method for dispatching pesky heroes?

Jeff Mach I simply invite them to take a brisk, refreshing walk through the airlock.

If they're not practicing good hygiene and aren't wearing their space-masks, surely they deserve what they get, eh?

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