Loretta Nyhan > Quotes

“It occurred to me that grief is like a tunnel. You enter it without a choice because you must get to the other side. The darkness of it plays tricks on you and sometimes you can even forget where you are or what your purpose is. I believe that people, now and again, get lost or stuck in that tunnel and never find their way out.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Empire Girls

“She'd come running up the driveway and into the kitchen, bringing the spring morning behind her like a trail of hope.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Empire Girls

“Leona A: But I’m thinking about doing something crazy. Darryl K: Aren’t those the only things that can truly change our lives? Leona A: I suppose so. But we don’t know if the change will be good or bad, do we? Darryl K: And that mystery right there is the beauty of life.”
― Loretta Nyhan, All the Good Parts

“What do you think people should say to someone who’s just lost a loved one? I don’t think there are many options.” Petra thought for a moment. “If you knew the person who died, I think you should share a memory, something you don’t think they’d know about. The wilder the better.” “And if you didn’t know the person who died?” “Then you should ask for a good memory that best describes him or her. Let the grieving person have a moment with that person again.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“At his service, everyone said he was still with me, but the truth was that not only was he gone, parts of me went with him. I missed them, too, and like Jesse, they weren’t coming back.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Things always get hard. If you’re with the right person, you join hands and climb the mountain together. If you aren’t, well, the hard thing gets even harder and then everything’s so brittle it just cracks.”
― Loretta Nyhan, The Other Family

“Pick a few things you don’t want to let slide, and let the rest sort itself out,” he said gently after one particularly rough day. “When someone leaves this world, everything else gets jostled because of the empty space. You’re gonna land in the wrong spot for a while. Sooner or later, you’ll find where you fit again.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Everything can be learned, you know? Some people learn sooner, others later. Not a big deal if the outcome is the same.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“The only thing they had in common was the inability to organize.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“He was downing kombucha like a Brooklyn hipster on a bender and pacing the hallways endlessly.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“When you give something meaning, it’s worth remembering. We filter out the stuff that doesn’t touch our heart.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“When someone leaves this world, everything else gets jostled because of the empty space. You’re gonna land in the wrong spot for a while. Sooner or later, you’ll find where you fit again.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“That’s the beauty of a garden,” she said. “Some stuff works, some stuff doesn’t, and some stuff you think isn’t working ends up producing the following year. Keeps you living in a constant state of suspense, so whatever comes, you’re grateful for it.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Carly took a breath, gearing up. “You’ve never made a decision in your life. Think about it. Things happen to you and you react. You let people steer you one way, and then another, and then another, like you’re a shopping cart with a wonky wheel. Don’t fool yourself, Lee, that’s not making a decision.” “That”
― Loretta Nyhan, All the Good Parts

“I'm sorry.'
'For what?'
'For all of it.'
'No need to be. I'm living a life, you know? If people went around apologizing for every bad thing that happened to everyone, we'd be bored out of our fucking skulls.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“At the reference to our marriage, we both went quiet. “Do you miss being married?” I asked, though all the possible answers made the hibiscus flower in my stomach feel like it had tentacles. “I don’t know how to answer that. I miss you, Ally, for sure. I don’t miss the fights, though. Being together started to amplify all the negatives—the anger, the worry, the frustration.” “That’s true,” I said quietly. “I have to admit it.” “And we’d be dishonest if we claimed Kylie’s challenges caused all those things. The problems were always there, even when we were sincerely happy with each other. We just thought if we ignored them they’d go away.” “Also true.” “I’ll always love you,” Matt said. “But . . .” He put his arm over my shoulder. “No buts. I’ll always love you. It’s not the same kind of love as when we were happily married. It’s more of an appreciation for that time, for what we once had.” “Does the other stuff—the fighting and anger and tears—does that stuff make you hate me a little?” “I hate what we became. That bickering, sniping couple that made other people become uncomfortable in their presence.” I took a breath. “So we need to get a divorce, don’t we?” “We do.”
― Loretta Nyhan, The Other Family

“I wasn’t lucky enough to get . . . what is it? Charisma.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Professor Larmon had discussed fading in the elderly, that time when the body, previously getting along just fine, begins to break down all at once, in small but significant ways.”
― Loretta Nyhan, All the Good Parts

“Free yourself from the pressure of success, and you’ll free yourself of the oppressiveness of failure.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Pick a few things you don’t want to let slide, and let the rest sort itself out,” he said gently after one particularly rough day.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“I’d pressed the “Pause” button on my life, and then lost the remote.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Some might have seen our life together as boring, but we knew how valuable boring was. Like order, boring was safe. We could rely on it.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“better at recognizing it in others.” He went quiet a moment. “My parents were divorced, which is a whole different thing. I’m not comparing the two—” “Because that would be insensitive.” Someone came up to me after Jesse died and told me I was lucky because death was better than an acrimonious divorce. If I hadn’t been so weak from lack of eating, I would have punched her into the following week. Sean ran a hand over his face and took off his cap. In the sunlight, his red hair caught fire, all gold and orange and copper. “I’m not doing very well with this. What I’m trying to say is that the odds are with you with this one. A kid only needs one good parent to keep him anchored. He may float off and”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Jesse and I were never a social couple. We’d had to lean on each other for so long that we’d gotten used to being a duo. Our uniquely shared history made it difficult to get to know another couple in a meaningful way, and our innate distrust of strangers made it hard to get to know us very well.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Fear is a parasite, attaching itself to plump, healthy emotions like hope and desire, longing and aspiration. It jumps on your back and sucks hard.”
― Loretta Nyhan, All the Good Parts

“Strong people always find a way to make the most of the life they’ve been given.”
― Loretta Nyhan, The Other Family

“Not only is there not an I in ‘teamwork,’ there isn’t a U either.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“You have to find your paper bag when you feel like you can’t get the air in,” Mykia said. She had an air of authority that had both boys hanging on her every word. “Is that what my mom’s doing?” Trey asked. “Is the garden her paper bag?” “Well,” Mykia said, resuming her dinner, “you are smarter than you look.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“The few dinner parties we’d had were overshadowed by our own insecurities and desire for perfection.”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In

“Forever. Till death do us part. The thing is, no one tells you what to do when the parting happens. And they forget to explain that when death is sudden, the parting is actually a ragged tear, not a clean separation. It leaves all the ends unfinished, and they just unravel and unravel and . . .”
― Loretta Nyhan, Digging In