A thirteen-year-old nonbinary kid discovers that life doesn't always go according to plan, especially when they start public school for the first time, in this heartfelt middle grade novel about family, friendship, LGBTQIA+ identity, and Jewish heritage, perfect for fans of The List of Things That Will Not Change and Ivy Aberdeen's Letter to the World.
Thirteen-year-old Shai is an expert problem-solver. There’s never been something they couldn’t research and figure out on their own. But there’s one thing Shai hasn’t been able to logic their way through: picking at the hair on their arms.
Ever since their mom lost her job, the two had to move in with family friends, and the world went into pandemic lockdown, Shai’s been unable to control their picking. Now, as the difficult times recede and everyone begins to discover their “new normal,” Shai’s hoping the stress that caused their picking will end, too.
After reading that a routine can reduce anxiety, Shai makes a plan to create a brand new normal for themself that includes going to public school. But when their academic evaluation places them into 9th grade instead of 8th, it sets off a chain of events that veer off the path Shai had prepared for, encouraging Shai to learn how to accept life's twists and turns, especially when you can't plan for them.
A. J. Sass (he/they) is an author whose narrative interests lie at the intersection of identity, neurodiversity, and allyship. He is the critically acclaimed author of the ALA Rainbow Book List Top 10 titles Ellen Outside the Lines, which was also a Sydney Taylor Honor Book, and Ana on the Edge, as well as the co-author of Camp QUILTBAG (with Nicole Melleby). All three books are Junior Library Guild Gold Standard selections.
A. J. is the author of the upcoming middle-grade book Just Shy of Ordinary (Little, Brown, 2024), and a contributor to the This Is Our Rainbow (Knopf Books for Young Readers), Allies (DK/Penguin Random House), and On All Other Nights (Abrams, 2024) anthologies. His debut picture book with illustrator Noa Kelner, Shabbat Is ..., also releases from Little, Brown in fall 2024.
When he’s not writing, A. J. figure skates and travels as much as possible. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his husband and two cats who act like dogs. Visit him online at sassinsf.com and follow him @matokah on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram.
Thank you to Little, Brown Books for Young Readers for letting me read an ARC of this book through NetGalley!
Just Shy of Ordinary Overall Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ .5 (4.5/5) or 9.00/10 overall
Characters - 9 The characters in this book were amazing. Each of them had their own unique personality and many had personal growth along the way.
Atmosphere - 9 The atmosphere was pleasant and relatively peaceful. While there were a few touches on deeper topics, there was still a hopeful ending.
Writing - 9 A. J. Sass's writing style always leaves me thoroughly engaged in their books. He has enough description to picture the environment and characters, but also enough action to keep the story moving.
Plot - 8 I enjoyed the overall plot of this story. It had its fair share of unique experiences combined with everyday moments that helped to make it more relatable. The only thing that curbed my enjoyment in terms of the plot was the ending. It was heartfelt, but it left some threads of the story still unsolved that I would've liked to have seen play out. Maybe a sequel would clear up the final plot points? 👀
Intrigue - 9 I was intrigued from the start by this book. I loved Ana on the Edge, Ellen Outside the Lines, and Camp Quiltbag, so I knew I had to read this as soon as I heard about it.
Logic - 9 I liked that the problems in this book were solved realistically and the overarching idea of "it is ok to reach out for help from others" really resonated with me.
Enjoyment - 10 I enjoyed this book from start to finish. I would totally recommend it to anyone who asks me what I thought, especially if they struggle with anxiety.
This book made me cry at least four separate times and always in the right way. As a non-binary (even if i didn’t have words to explain it yet) reformed Jew, I never saw books about people like me as a kid. It’s so wonderful to find great stories with this kind of representation.
I loved this middle grade novel about a nonbinary, genderfluid homeschooler, Shai, starting public school for the first time. Shai immediately makes two great friends, but they're unsure about sharing their pronouns just yet. For English class, Shai decides to explore their Jewish heritage. While their grandparents are active in the Jewish community, their mother is not for unknown reasons, and they haven't been raised Jewish. They hope to discover more about their heritage, but this seems to set their mother on edge. Meanwhile, they're keeping a secret from everyone. When their mother lost her job and the two moved in with Indigenous friends, Shai began picking at their arms.
I saw this book recommended by someone on Instagram and was interested in checking it out. While it's for middle grade, it's easy for an adult to get into and enjoy.
I loved all the Jewish representation in the story, especially since Shai was not raised Jewish and was learning about it for the first time. I appreciated how things were explained clearly for someone who doesn't know much about Judaism.
The characters were great and I would love to see them again in another novel, perhaps focusing on Mille or Edie, but where we could also see what was going on in Shai's life.
I appreciated that there was a focus on anxiety, as Shai was going through a lot and determined to handle it on their own. There was a good emphasis on asking for help.
My only concern is that the Shabbat dinner did not include matzo ball soup. :) That is to say, I liked everything about this novel. It would be nice to have seen how Shai realized that they were non-binary, but it still explored how it was hard for Shai to come out to new people so that was good. I would have also liked an epilogue, as there was still so much more I wanted to read about after the story ended.
I hope people of all ages (from middle grade and up) will pick up this novel! You may even find yourself getting teary-eyed, like I did.
This book is just what older middle grade readers need! Shai loves to research and learn about new things. They also keep a journal of poetry, recording their thoughts and feelings. When Shai starts public school for the first time in order to have more structure and, hopefully, cure their trichotillomania, the anxiety revs up because they'll be in the 9th, not the 8th grade like they thought! Shai begins to struggle with balancing homework, old and new friends, researching Judaism, and talking to their mom about some important worries - things they have never had to deal with before. While there are several heavy topics in this novel, Sass handles them deftly without sounding too preachy. There is plenty of factual explantion for readers unfamiliar with topics like non-binary, anxiety, and anti-semitism. These facts could disturb the flow, but instead they stay true to Shai who loves research and shares many facts throughout the novel. While the topics are heavy, the relationships and dialogue amongst the characters lightens it and helps it feel managable. The characters are so relatable. What makes it perfect for older middle grade readers? Shai's age and grade , 13 and 9th grade, are underrepresented in middle grade books. Many of them are about younger characters that my 7th and 8th graders don't think they can relate to. This one hits the sweet spot with topics the older kids want to read about and writing that is more middle grade.
Shai is a genderqueer pansexual middle schooler about to go to public school for the first time. They aren't prepared for just how stressful public school would be and end up getting a bit buried in the workload of actual school work and building friendships along with getting used to not having the comfort and breaks of homeschool.
Shai also has OCD. They don't know exactly what to do about it or the exact terminology yet but they do know they struggle with picking and have developed a plan to fix it all.
This one is gonna make you cry. It tackles all sorts of topics including being queer and genderqueer as well as Jewish and having mental illness. It deals with friendships, new and old, and relationships with parents and grandparents. I would definitely classify this as a wholesome read but don't think that it's gonna leave you without shedding some tears.
My one thing is that I wish it was just a bit longer. Like a little more exploration with their mom and best friends at the end would've shoved it up to 5 star status for me.
The part about wanting to make their project about Judaism bc they didn't know much about it was very reminiscent of Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. What I most liked about this book is that depicted what it is like to be a gifted child at a young age and how a lot of kids don't have the right tools to handle that/get overwhelmed when they get older. I do think it's weird that they just let Shai skip 8th grade when they were only ever homeschooled... skipping a grade AND being introduced to traditional schooling would be too big of an adjustment to make at the same time. I also really liked how the author portrays daily anxiety and relief in terms of catastrophizing outcomes (me fr fr) and then realizing every single time that it actually turned out find (me fr fr) as opposed to most other middle grade books where the anxiety builds and builds until the very end. My main criticism would be that the mom's character seemed uneven, sometimes it really felt like she did not want Shai to learn about Judaism and other times she was more understanding. Mostly, the scene where she told Shai that they couldn't do Taschlich bc it was a "closed practice" (??????) came out of nowhere for me and then they never even brought it up again. I'm just not sure why the mom would make such a big deal out of doing something that you don't even need to be religious to do???
Shai and their friends & family had fun personalities. I loved how each character in this had a unique personality, and something they were passionate about. I also loved the journey some of these characters went on.
Atmosphere-9
I liked the atmosphere in this book. I felt that the locations were described well, and added to my enjoyment of the story.
Writing-10
I love A.J. Sass as a writer. I love how he writes with a style that keeps the reader interested, and draws the reader into their world. I loved the style of this book and how we had diary entries mixed in with the of the story.
Plot-9
The plot to this one was interesting. I loved learn about the VIP projects, and how the dynamic between Shai, their mom, and the Martel's. As a Jewish person, I loved seeing the Jewish rep in this book. I also loved Shai's journey in this book.
Intrigue-8
This was an interesting story. The pace was a little so for me in the middle.
Logic-9
I saw the logic in this story.
Enojyment-9
I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I had a fun time reading it.
Shy's arm sleeves hide a vicious secret: they have been anxiously picking their arm hairs, creating a painful rash. Fortunately, their best friend Mille is a bit of a fashion designer and is happy to unwittingly aid in this coverup. But Shy isn't planning to just hope the problem goes away. Instead, they make a plan, which includes a new environment, good friends, and complete honesty. But it's harder than it looks on paper.
There's a smidge more middle school drama than I prefer in this book, but I really love the characters, and I enjoyed getting to reminisce about places I've actually lived. There are a lot of clever sub-plots and thoughtful details. Overall, a welcome story with adequate representation for a gender fluid and pansexual young person.
DNF at 16% because the author is talking about ‘post-pandemic’ and yes i know it’s fiction but not only is this world clearly ours where the pandemic is NOT over after only one year and the attitudes of the characters towards the pandemic mirror minimizes and deniers in our real world which personally i don’t want to read, fuck you 🥰🥰🥰🥰
I loved how Shai tried to tackle all of their problems alone, and even though it feels like there must be 'something wrong with you' when your best efforts don't solve the problem, it was so refreshing to see Shai learn to allow other people to help.
The story felt very gentle -- a first public school experience (and skipping forward a grade!) didn't result in bullying or mean kids or feeling left out -- Shai made some quick friends who were genuine and sweet.
The budding romance was SO ADORABLE and so sweet and so many things about this book could be summed up this way -- it was soft, with problems arising that often had very gentle, soft resolutions. Even when the book introduces antisemitic acts, which were scary, I felt so confident that Sass would bring me back to a nice, gentle resolution and he did!
Needed this book SO much. It's comforting and sweet and felt like a hug of a book -- that the best way to be your best self is to not try to take on the world alone. So much love for this one.
I loved reading about this nonbinary teen! Shai loved being taught at home by their mom, but changes in the past year have made things tough. Not to worry though, because Shai has a plan to get things back under control. Stage one of that plan? Go to public school.
This book deals with many things that 13-year olds deal with: mounting academic pressure, anxiety, relationships changing (both romantic and platonic), and identity. Shai has the added challenge of being genderfluid and trying to figure out how to communicate that without being ostracized for being different, working to hide skin sores from anxious picking, and trying to learn about their Jewish heritage for a school project.
Overall, as a formerly homeschooled nonbinary peep myself, I could really related to Shai's worries and wonderings. Far too often people talk about "coming out" like it is a one time thing, when, especially for genderqueer people, it can be something you face daily, which can be exhausting. I loved how realistic the relationships felt, including how even the most valued relationships can shift over time and the challenges that can bring.
I would recommend this book to anyone who reads juvenile fiction, as well as anyone who is queer struggles with being different from those around them.
Just Shy of Ordinary is well written and an excellent depiction of a young teen learning to be themselves in a wider world. Shai is a well developed character as are the friends and family around them. I appreciated several very specific things that ring true. Shai is very clear that while their anxiety symptoms developed at the same time they came out to family as genderfluid, the anxiety was not caused by their identity; something it might be important for readers to hear. The author was also wise to include the fact that knowing one of their friends is a lesbian, and the other's parents are gay, did not necessarily make their coming out as genderfluid easier. Lastly, it was nice to read a novel that acknowledes the stress and fear of coming out, while also making the experience feel mostly positive, and overall a pretty normal experience for a young teen. It's possible the mostly accepting reactions by all the adults in the story might be a bit unrealistic, I feel like its not unlikely, and young readers can benefit from reading it.
This book has my entire heart. Shai is such a great character and I loved spending time with them and seeing them navigate new friendships, exploring Judaism, and learning more about themselves. Their voice really comes through and I didn’t want the book to end.
OMG Shai is going through it in this book! After developing skin picking and hair pulling behaviors in response to stress, Shai decides to plan for a new normal to reset their life. And being a hyper-competent, gifted kid, they go all out all at once: change from homeschooling to public middle school, wear fabulous arm bands designed by their bestie to make picking harder, rethink their hair and wardrobe, and connect with their family's religious traditions. On top of everything else, Shai is still figuring out what it means to be gender fluid and how that identity informs their sexual orientation, and whether and when to come out to new people in their life. I was stressed! But that is how it goes at this age, right? It is never just one thing, which is a big reason why there are no easy solutions. So when the principal throws them a complete curve ball--Shai will be going into 9th grade, instead of 8th, with all the added homework and studying that comes along with it--that new normal plan begins to unravel, and Shai learns that they may not be able to figure out everything on their own. This is a wonderful coming-of-age story that I think so many kids will relate to. I appreciated that we get to see Shai and lots of other characters make mistakes, apologize, and find the grace to give others that they wish they could experience themselves. Those are the kind of intangibles that are such an important part of growing up, but can be really hard to communicate without just getting out there and being messy. It is also also a really important books for kids who experience body focused repetitive behaviors in knowing that there is no shame in what they are going through and that many, many people need help to improve. I absolutely loved PJ Morgan's narration - they captured that switch between Shai's inner anxiety and outer hyper-competence so perfectly so that I felt them feeding each other as the story progressed until Shai finally has to get help. Brilliantly done. Highly recommend!!
Pros: -Great to see some more genderfluid rep! -Sass's writing style is engaging as usual. -Exploration of the pressures placed on kids labeled as gifted.
Interesting to note: -Shai isn't labeled as autistic, but they read that way to me at times. (Author Sass is autistic.)
Cons: -Didn't like the handling of COVID-19. This is set in what seems to be 2023-ish in our world. There's a mention that some people are wearing masks, but Shai calls the pandemic "over", and explicitly states that they themself don't wear or carry masks, and no other named characters ever seem to wear masks either. Authors, if you don't want your contemporary stories to be about the pandemic, it's fine to set them in a universe in which it never happened. You alienate your disabled or otherwise-marginalized readers by treating the ongoing risks to our health in a cavalier way. -Also not liking what seems to be an emerging trend among queer middle grade (The Best Liars in Riverview and The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet both come to mind) to imply that queer people are obligated to come out, or are being deceitful to friends/family by staying closeted. Shai says about their gender identity, with regards to a new (queer, though cis) friend, "Edie deserved to know. It wasn't fair to keep her in the dark about this." Later in the book they also get upset when they find out a different queer friend didn't come out to them right away. No! This is a really bad message to be giving queer kids as well as their potential allies! Staying closeted is always a right that one may choose to exercise for any reason--whether they're in a potentially hostile environment, they haven't figured out how to explain their identity yet, or they just don't feel like mentioning it every time they meet someone.
I was curious about reading this because I've had the problem of picking at the acne on my face since I was like 13 (I'm 29 now, and I still haven't figured out how to stop doing it). I think this is a very solid book! I spent most of it feeling bad for Shai and wishing they had talked to one of their trusted adults so they could help Shai with their anxiety.
I must say, I got a bit frustrated with Shai's mom at some points. She's a good mom and she does her best, but
Overall a solid book, just kinda wished it had an epilogue of some kind as the ending was pretty abrupt -like, there are so many threads of this book that could have had one final scene to close its story line off fully.
A MG book by @matokah that deals with lgbtq identity, change, Jewish heritage, new friends and mental health. 🙍 Shai is leaving homeschool to head to public school. They have recently come out to their best friend, mom and grandparents about them being #nonbinary and #genderfluid so adding school to that is a bit overwhelming. When they meet with the principal they find out they won’t be starting 8th grade—they’re skipping to ninth! Shai also worries about their mom’s lack of a job, things changing between them and their best friend they live with, two new besties who don’t know they’re nonbinary, dealing with a picking their arms issue in secret since the pandemic, struggling to keep up at their new school and worrying about crushing on a new friend. It’s a lot for a thirteen year old to take! When they start researching their Jewish heritage, local antisemitism hate crimes also begin making the news. Shai wonders if this is all too much too soon. 🕍 This novel was so great. I believe it can make such a difference to kids struggling with their identity both with LGBTQIA+, religion, and socially. It hits a lot of topics students are dealing with and love that the author drew so much from their own life for this title. This one is out now!
CW: self-harm, mental illness, antisemitism, dysphoria, hate crime, vandalism, homophobia/transphobia (discussed), coming out themes
This had a lot of issues to dive into, which might overwhelm some readers. 4.25 ⭐️
Gender fluid 13-year old Shai decides she needs a "new normal" in their life. During the pandemic, their mom lost her job, they moved in with family friends, and Shai began suffering from picking the hair on their arms because of anxiety and worry. To cover the damage they were doing to themself before anyone saw, they started wearing fashionable arm sleeves designed by her bast friend, Moose, and moved to public school. They find new friends and are settling in even when they jump a grade, but pressure begins to build up and Shai begins picking even more. A school project leads them to delve into their Jewish ancestry and learning their history and culture, but the pressure piles on as Shai can't seem to connect the research and experiences with the project. Shai is an interesting character who learns to lean on the people around them, old friends and new, while dealing with the pressures of school, identity, first love, and change. The secondary characters, like Moose and her new friends at school, are well drawn out and lead into the growth Shai and they all experience. An interesting book about change, self-love, and the need to ask for help told in a gentle, up-front fashion the keep readers connected to Shai.