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Feh: A Memoir
From the acclaimed author of Foreskin’s Lament , a memoir of the author’s attempt to escape the biblical story he’d been raised on and his struggle to construct a new story for himself and his family
Shalom Auslander was raised like a veal in a dysfunctional family in the Orthodox community of Monsey, New the son of an alcoholic father; a guilt-wielding mother; and a violent, overbearing God. Now, as he reaches middle age, Auslander begins to suspect that what plagues him is something worse, something he can't so easily a story. The story. One indelibly implanted in him at an early age, a story that told him he is fallen, broken, shameful, disgusting, a story we have all been told for thousands of years, and continue to be told by the religious and secular alike, a story called "Feh."
Yiddish for "Yuck."
Feh follows Auslander's midlife journey to rewrite that story, a journey that involves Phillip Seymour Hoffman, a Pulitzer-winning poet, Job, Arthur Schopenhauer, GHB, Wolf Blitzer, Yuval Noah Harari and a pastor named Steve in a now-defunct church in Los Angeles.
Can he move from Feh to merely meh? Can he even dream of moving beyond that?
Auslander's recounting of his attempt to exorcize the story he was raised with—before he implants it onto his children and/or possibly poisons the relationship of the one woman who loves him—isn’t sacred. It is more-than-occasionally profane. And like all his work, it is also relentlessly funny, subversively heartfelt and fearlessly provocative.
Shalom Auslander was raised like a veal in a dysfunctional family in the Orthodox community of Monsey, New the son of an alcoholic father; a guilt-wielding mother; and a violent, overbearing God. Now, as he reaches middle age, Auslander begins to suspect that what plagues him is something worse, something he can't so easily a story. The story. One indelibly implanted in him at an early age, a story that told him he is fallen, broken, shameful, disgusting, a story we have all been told for thousands of years, and continue to be told by the religious and secular alike, a story called "Feh."
Yiddish for "Yuck."
Feh follows Auslander's midlife journey to rewrite that story, a journey that involves Phillip Seymour Hoffman, a Pulitzer-winning poet, Job, Arthur Schopenhauer, GHB, Wolf Blitzer, Yuval Noah Harari and a pastor named Steve in a now-defunct church in Los Angeles.
Can he move from Feh to merely meh? Can he even dream of moving beyond that?
Auslander's recounting of his attempt to exorcize the story he was raised with—before he implants it onto his children and/or possibly poisons the relationship of the one woman who loves him—isn’t sacred. It is more-than-occasionally profane. And like all his work, it is also relentlessly funny, subversively heartfelt and fearlessly provocative.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published July 23, 2024
About the author
Shalom Auslander
10 books320 followersShalom Auslander is an American author and essayist. He grew up in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood in Monsey, New York where he describes himself as having been "raised like a veal".[1][2] His writing style is notable for its Jewish perspective and determinedly negative outlook.
Auslander has published a collection of short stories, Beware of God and a memoir, Foreskin's Lament: A Memoir. His work, often confronting his Orthodox Jewish background, has been featured on Public Radio International's This American Life and in The New Yorker. In January 2012, Auslander published his first novel, Hope: A Tragedy.
Auslander has published a collection of short stories, Beware of God and a memoir, Foreskin's Lament: A Memoir. His work, often confronting his Orthodox Jewish background, has been featured on Public Radio International's This American Life and in The New Yorker. In January 2012, Auslander published his first novel, Hope: A Tragedy.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
May 30, 2024
Not sure how to describe this book. Original, uncomfortable, a relentless chronicle of self-loathing. Very voice-driven. I loved it.
July 14, 2024
(4.7) what a rollercoaster of emotions... wow🔅🔆🔅
auslander should start making movies... we need more cynical jewish filmmakers that aren't woody allen
auslander should start making movies... we need more cynical jewish filmmakers that aren't woody allen
July 22, 2024
This book made me feel less alone in the world, I would 10/10 recommend it to anyone!!
August 3, 2024
a bit of an irl Good Omens that asks, what if god is the bad guy and humans are the good guys?
"Stories are a powerful thing."
"Stories are a powerful thing."
August 27, 2024
Definitely a certain type of audience but it’s good. A LOT of self loathing but I guess that’s the meaning behind Feh.
August 15, 2024
3.5 stars. I read Shalom Auslander’s previous memoir many years ago and this seems like more of the same. (What does it say about someone who writes two memoirs by the age of 50?) Auslander is an excellent writer but his subject matter is pretty repetitive and just so utterly “feh” and relentlessly depressing. I imagine it’s pretty hard to live in his head. Excellent audiobook read by the author.
July 25, 2024
First off, you should know that I'm a Shalom Auslander fangirl. I pre-ordered "Feh" weeks before it came out and was already expecting to love it before I even opened it.
I am absolutely biased.
As expected, I loved it. I laughed out loud many times. Shalom has wicked gallows humor which I appreciate.
I was horrified at how unhealthy he has been and how desperately dark his mind got during the pandemic. My guess is the events in this book take place from 5 years pre-Covid until now.
There's no getting around it, if you haven't read Shalom's writing before, be forewarned, it is very, very dark. He talks about wanting to die, about hating himself, about
I am absolutely biased.
As expected, I loved it. I laughed out loud many times. Shalom has wicked gallows humor which I appreciate.
I was horrified at how unhealthy he has been and how desperately dark his mind got during the pandemic. My guess is the events in this book take place from 5 years pre-Covid until now.
There's no getting around it, if you haven't read Shalom's writing before, be forewarned, it is very, very dark. He talks about wanting to die, about hating himself, about
August 5, 2024
Like everyone on this website, I read and love a lot of books and a lot of authors. It's a rare thing to find an author that vibrates at such a similar frequency to your own, that like a tuning fork, it lights your soul afire with a resonance that is alarming, powerful, and beautiful.
Foreskin's Lament affected me to the core and was a formative read for me in a tumultuous time. Feh and Auslander's description of just how deep and overwhelming shame, disgust, and self-loathing can be, has given tangible form to a harrowing intangible feeling many of us live with.
His remarks, relationship, and interactions with Phillip Seymour Hoffman alone are worth the price of admission.
If anyone has problems empathizing or understanding the damage that scrupulous religious upbringing can cause, no matter how well-meaning, read Auslander's writings.
Foreskin's Lament affected me to the core and was a formative read for me in a tumultuous time. Feh and Auslander's description of just how deep and overwhelming shame, disgust, and self-loathing can be, has given tangible form to a harrowing intangible feeling many of us live with.
His remarks, relationship, and interactions with Phillip Seymour Hoffman alone are worth the price of admission.
If anyone has problems empathizing or understanding the damage that scrupulous religious upbringing can cause, no matter how well-meaning, read Auslander's writings.
August 15, 2024
I enjoy reading memoirs and I sometimes wonder while reading them, has the author shared any details that they are disclosing about their family or friends before the book is published? If not, did the people mentioned in the book get upset or even want to sue the author?
For example, earlier this year I read "I'm Glad My Mom Died." A memoir by Jennette McCurdy based on her one-woman show of the same name. The book is about her career as a child actress and her difficult relationship with her abusive mother who died in 2013. In this instance, the mom passed away before she published the book, but other family members or other people she mentioned may not be pleased with it. In the case of "Feh" by Shalom Auslander, he does not just burn bridges; he blows them up like in the movie, "A Bridge over the River Kwai." He has some terrible stories about his family and Hebrew school teachers. He was raised in an ultra-Orthodox community in Monsey, New York, but he moved away from the Orthodox practices after he moved out of the house. I've read other books by Auslander, such as Foreskin's Lament: A Memoir, which is very funny. This book has it funny moments, but many things that he describes make for tough reading.
Shalom introduces us to concept of feh, Yiddish for yuck early in the book and uses the term many, many times. People who read it on kindle probably can get a count of how many times he used the term. He also said he was fat many times.
I found the first few chapters difficult to read and I almost decided not to finish the book. I think he is an entertaining writer. He tries to bring some clarity or meaning to our very strange and divided world. I liked how he found goodness in some small acts of kindness and that brought him some measure of happiness. I liked his descriptions of his family life, his interactions with his wife and his two sons. I particularly enjoyed his description of helping his older son's class produce a short documentary. The story has great insight on today's pre teens.
He points out the irony of searching for happiness based on a TV show he wrote. I'm curious about what other people on Goodreads thought about the book. I think readers who enjoyed some of his previous books will enjoy this book the most.
For example, earlier this year I read "I'm Glad My Mom Died." A memoir by Jennette McCurdy based on her one-woman show of the same name. The book is about her career as a child actress and her difficult relationship with her abusive mother who died in 2013. In this instance, the mom passed away before she published the book, but other family members or other people she mentioned may not be pleased with it. In the case of "Feh" by Shalom Auslander, he does not just burn bridges; he blows them up like in the movie, "A Bridge over the River Kwai." He has some terrible stories about his family and Hebrew school teachers. He was raised in an ultra-Orthodox community in Monsey, New York, but he moved away from the Orthodox practices after he moved out of the house. I've read other books by Auslander, such as Foreskin's Lament: A Memoir, which is very funny. This book has it funny moments, but many things that he describes make for tough reading.
Shalom introduces us to concept of feh, Yiddish for yuck early in the book and uses the term many, many times. People who read it on kindle probably can get a count of how many times he used the term. He also said he was fat many times.
I found the first few chapters difficult to read and I almost decided not to finish the book. I think he is an entertaining writer. He tries to bring some clarity or meaning to our very strange and divided world. I liked how he found goodness in some small acts of kindness and that brought him some measure of happiness. I liked his descriptions of his family life, his interactions with his wife and his two sons. I particularly enjoyed his description of helping his older son's class produce a short documentary. The story has great insight on today's pre teens.
He points out the irony of searching for happiness based on a TV show he wrote. I'm curious about what other people on Goodreads thought about the book. I think readers who enjoyed some of his previous books will enjoy this book the most.
August 27, 2024
A good memoir pulls at the heartstrings, celebrates resiliency, offers examples of our shared humanity, and makes you laugh out loud … often. Shalom Auslander’s “Feh” delivers on all these counts.
“Feh” is the Yiddish word for “yuck.” Auslander, growing up in an Orthodox Jewish family north of New York City, understands the word at an early age. Now middle aged, he still struggles with the internalized self-loathing he believes is derived from having grown up with dysfunctional parents and a violent, overbearing God.
When Auslander looks in the mirror, he sees “Feh” staring back at him. He is, at times, genuinely suicidal. He also can’t shake his belief in God; “it’s been a real problem for me,” he deadpans.
Much of his writing is crude, bordering on profane. But he’s also capable of writing sweetly when he spies a glimpse of human kindness, often manifested in his wife and sons. And he’s very funny.
He turns more somber near the book’s end, when he wonders aloud what traits in the animal kingdom are unique to humans. We are not the only species, he reminds, capable of laughter, mourning, monogamy or rape. But we are the only species, he contends, that tells stories … and hates itself.
“Stories are powerful things,” he reminds repeatedly. “Stories can be a plague, too.”
Yes, I like memoirs, but they still have to earn my 5-star rating, which this one does.
“Feh” is the Yiddish word for “yuck.” Auslander, growing up in an Orthodox Jewish family north of New York City, understands the word at an early age. Now middle aged, he still struggles with the internalized self-loathing he believes is derived from having grown up with dysfunctional parents and a violent, overbearing God.
When Auslander looks in the mirror, he sees “Feh” staring back at him. He is, at times, genuinely suicidal. He also can’t shake his belief in God; “it’s been a real problem for me,” he deadpans.
Much of his writing is crude, bordering on profane. But he’s also capable of writing sweetly when he spies a glimpse of human kindness, often manifested in his wife and sons. And he’s very funny.
He turns more somber near the book’s end, when he wonders aloud what traits in the animal kingdom are unique to humans. We are not the only species, he reminds, capable of laughter, mourning, monogamy or rape. But we are the only species, he contends, that tells stories … and hates itself.
“Stories are powerful things,” he reminds repeatedly. “Stories can be a plague, too.”
Yes, I like memoirs, but they still have to earn my 5-star rating, which this one does.
September 2, 2024
I'd say this book was profound, but after a promising beginning, it becomes wearingly repetitive.
I'd say it's funny, but the author's shtick quickly gets tiresome.
I'd say he's a self-hating (formerly Orthodox) Jew, but he's not very kindly disposed towards Christians either.
If you want to skip 350 pages of Auslander's kvetching (complaining), here's the premise: the Bible stories we're told as children and the information we continue to consume as adults teach us that humanity is feh (i.e., we suck). The cure for this indoctrinated misery? Tell each other better stories. Considering that Auslander's earlier memoir is called Foreskin's Lament, I'm not sure his stories are the ones I want as my #lifegoals.
I'd say if you're looking for Philip Roth without the misogyny, or Woody Allen without the creepy pedo stuff, you might appreciate Feh, but do we really need another neurotic New York Jewish male voice right now?
I'd say it's funny, but the author's shtick quickly gets tiresome.
I'd say he's a self-hating (formerly Orthodox) Jew, but he's not very kindly disposed towards Christians either.
If you want to skip 350 pages of Auslander's kvetching (complaining), here's the premise: the Bible stories we're told as children and the information we continue to consume as adults teach us that humanity is feh (i.e., we suck). The cure for this indoctrinated misery? Tell each other better stories. Considering that Auslander's earlier memoir is called Foreskin's Lament, I'm not sure his stories are the ones I want as my #lifegoals.
I'd say if you're looking for Philip Roth without the misogyny, or Woody Allen without the creepy pedo stuff, you might appreciate Feh, but do we really need another neurotic New York Jewish male voice right now?
August 31, 2024
This was one helluva memoir. By a person not much older than me. I'm at an age when people write memoirs. Shit.
Although the content was intense, interesting, and dripping with Auslander's unique and delicious brand of over-the-top mordant wit it is the structure of the book that I found myself appreciating most. The text intersperses memories from the author's childhood, more recent events from his life, and his own rephrasings of (mostly Bible) stories and imagined conversations between supernatural beings. He makes all of these elements work together to become not just a memoir, but a sort of commentary on social commentary. (What?)
At times, I did find it difficult to discern the degree to which ostensibly autobiographical information was exaggerated or outright fudged for comedic or literary effect and I suppose that made me a bit uneasy. But that may be the author's way of maintaining some pretense of privacy while discussing deeply personal feelings.
Although the content was intense, interesting, and dripping with Auslander's unique and delicious brand of over-the-top mordant wit it is the structure of the book that I found myself appreciating most. The text intersperses memories from the author's childhood, more recent events from his life, and his own rephrasings of (mostly Bible) stories and imagined conversations between supernatural beings. He makes all of these elements work together to become not just a memoir, but a sort of commentary on social commentary. (What?)
At times, I did find it difficult to discern the degree to which ostensibly autobiographical information was exaggerated or outright fudged for comedic or literary effect and I suppose that made me a bit uneasy. But that may be the author's way of maintaining some pretense of privacy while discussing deeply personal feelings.
August 8, 2024
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Shalom Auslander is possibly the funniest writer alive. Depressed, self-loathing, and suicidal (as he says, self-destruction is his thing), but funny. But not just funny, hilarious--darkly, morbidly, bleakly, unrelentingly hilarious. In his memoir, Feh (an all-encompassing Yiddish expression of disgust), he explores how he was taught by apocalyptic biblical stories and his fearsome father to loathe himself--and the lifelong toxic behaviors that resulted. He makes a compelling argument that stories shape the world and that the most popular story of all time has taught countless generations of people to loathe themselves and each other. Shockingly, the book ends with, miracles of miracles, a glimmer of hope. I strongly advise you to immediately read every single one of his books.
August 20, 2024
There was so much I loved about this book! The humorous retelling of unhinged bible stories was a real highlight. Also the exploration of the deep and dark wounds religion can leave. How does one move past them when they are foundational to who you are??
What I found difficult was how self-hating, self-deprecating, and miserable Shalom is for all of this book. I was hoping for a turn around half way through, for more hope!!! But it was all dark until the last 50 pages where he finds the hope, a glimmer!This book needed more editing. It really started to slog with the same “feh” stories over and over and over.
What I found difficult was how self-hating, self-deprecating, and miserable Shalom is for all of this book. I was hoping for a turn around half way through, for more hope!!! But it was all dark until the last 50 pages where he finds the hope, a glimmer!This book needed more editing. It really started to slog with the same “feh” stories over and over and over.
August 22, 2024
Dear Shalom Auslander,
First, I want to say that I looked at photos of you online and you are not fat. Readers may be wondering why I’m beginning my review with that comment, but your second memoir “Feh” (Riverhead Books) opens with you in the hospital because of the weight loss drugs you took that almost cost you your life. My first reaction was, “Boy, someone did a job on him,” and the rest of your memoir proved me correct. The stories we are told have an enormous effect on our lives and the ones we pass on the next generation can do the same.
See the rest of my review at https://www.thereportergroup.org/book...
First, I want to say that I looked at photos of you online and you are not fat. Readers may be wondering why I’m beginning my review with that comment, but your second memoir “Feh” (Riverhead Books) opens with you in the hospital because of the weight loss drugs you took that almost cost you your life. My first reaction was, “Boy, someone did a job on him,” and the rest of your memoir proved me correct. The stories we are told have an enormous effect on our lives and the ones we pass on the next generation can do the same.
See the rest of my review at https://www.thereportergroup.org/book...
August 5, 2024
I heard this author on NPR as he spoke about his book and his life, and I immediately bought the book. This is a book of such emotional depth and brilliant humor. It is a brave and immersive reflection of religion, self-identity, and the frailty of the human condition. For those of us confronting our fehness in this life, there is still a possibility of hope and love. I laughed and I cried throughout this book, but mostly I felt. What a great read. Highly recommend.
July 27, 2024
I am the first to acknowledge that Auslander isn’t for everyone. If you read airport books you might want to skip this title and author. But if you want the books you read to make you think, laugh and weep, often all at the same time, than Auslander is your author. I envy you reading this book for the first time.
August 4, 2024
I needed this book. It’s a brilliantly written memoir that made me laugh out loud. Auslander is controversial for many reasons but I think it’s because he sees the world as it is; he’s self-deprecating, philosophical, well-read, and a magician with sentences. This is going on my favourites shelf for future reads.
August 1, 2024
I didn't choose this book, it chose me. But I'm so glad it did. It was funny and dark and weird and heartbreaking and hopeful and a whole lot of what we need right now -- honesty, insight, humor, kindness. Loved it.
August 7, 2024
I loved this book! I didn't know anything about Shalom until I heard him on WTF and enjoyed that conversation so much that I decided to give the book a go. The first book I've read this year that I didn't want to end. I look forward to reading more of his books.
August 14, 2024
You guys, I'm worried about Shalom. I've read four of his books and I wasn't sure how much of his dark, dark, darkness was schtick.
After this one, I feel confident saying: Not much.
He's hilarious and can turn a phrase like anything but oh boy, I hope he's OK.
After this one, I feel confident saying: Not much.
He's hilarious and can turn a phrase like anything but oh boy, I hope he's OK.
September 1, 2024
As a lot of other reviewers have noted, there's a lot of pessimistic, cynical self-loathing in here. And while Auslander manages to make this kind of funny at times, it's also just A Lot. If you really want to dive into that energy, then this is for you, but for me it was mostly meh, if not feh.
July 27, 2024
Excellent second memoir. I have been a huge fan of Auslander since “Beware of God”, and this did not disappoint.
August 5, 2024
Some passages are laugh out loud funny…probably best ‘read’ as an audiobook.
Want to read
August 14, 2024rec'd by bobbie towbin
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 16, 2024
I LOVED EVERY PAGE! Smart, darkly funny, a memoir but also a mordant philosophical inquiry with astonishingly, an uplifting ending! Must read!
August 18, 2024
Audio book.
Mordant humor. But oh, the blasting pain.
Mordant humor. But oh, the blasting pain.
Read
August 18, 2024Meh...... (dnf)
August 27, 2024
Feh, indeed.
The star is for the cover of the book
The star is for the cover of the book
August 28, 2024
Loved this book. Darkly hilarious. Cynically hopefully. The stuff on Phillip Seymour Hoffman made me cry. Can't wait to read more.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews