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There Is No Ethan: How Three Women Caught America's Biggest Catfish
Part memoir, part explosive window into the mind of a catfisher, a thrilling personal account of three women coming face-to-face with an internet predator and teaming up to expose them
In 2011 three successful and highly educated women fell head over heels for the brilliant and charming Ethan Schuman. Unbeknownst to the others, each exchanged countless messages with Ethan, staying up late into the evenings to deepen their connections with this fascinating man. His detailed excuses about broken webcams and complicated international calling plans seemed believable, as did last-minute trip cancellations. After all, why would he lie? Ethan wasn't after money—he never convinced his marks to shell out thousands of dollars for some imagined crisis. Rather, he ensnared these women in a web of intense emotional intimacy.
After the trio independently began to question inconsistencies in their new flame's stories, they managed to find one another and uncover a greater deception than they could have ever imagined. As Anna Akbari and the women untangled their catfish’s web, they found other victims and realized that without a proper crime, there was no legal reason for “Ethan” to ever stop.
There is No Ethan catalogues Akbari's experience as both victim and observer. By looking at the bigger picture—a world where technology mediates our relationships; where words and images are easily manipulated; and where truth, reality, and identity have become slippery terms—Akbari provides an explanation for why these stories matter.
In 2011 three successful and highly educated women fell head over heels for the brilliant and charming Ethan Schuman. Unbeknownst to the others, each exchanged countless messages with Ethan, staying up late into the evenings to deepen their connections with this fascinating man. His detailed excuses about broken webcams and complicated international calling plans seemed believable, as did last-minute trip cancellations. After all, why would he lie? Ethan wasn't after money—he never convinced his marks to shell out thousands of dollars for some imagined crisis. Rather, he ensnared these women in a web of intense emotional intimacy.
After the trio independently began to question inconsistencies in their new flame's stories, they managed to find one another and uncover a greater deception than they could have ever imagined. As Anna Akbari and the women untangled their catfish’s web, they found other victims and realized that without a proper crime, there was no legal reason for “Ethan” to ever stop.
There is No Ethan catalogues Akbari's experience as both victim and observer. By looking at the bigger picture—a world where technology mediates our relationships; where words and images are easily manipulated; and where truth, reality, and identity have become slippery terms—Akbari provides an explanation for why these stories matter.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published June 4, 2024
About the author
Anna Akbari
4 books58 followersAnna Akbari, PhD, is a sociologist and the author of multiple books, including collaborations with more than a dozen authors and public figures across multiple fields and industries. She is a former professor at New York University and Parsons School of Design. She speaks internationally, makes regular media appearances, and has written for or been featured by many top media outlets, including the New York Times, CNN, Forbes, the Atlantic,Time, the Financial Times, TED, Bulletproof Executive, Psychology Today, Google Talks, Sirius XM, and many more. She is the creator of the Substack “The Sociology of… Everything.” Learn more at annaakbari.com, and follow on Instagram / Threads: @annaakbari.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 223 reviews
April 12, 2024
I will never again make fun of my friends who worry they are being catfished after reading There is No Ethan by Anna Akbari. I think this review will work best as a Q&A with questions I think you may have as a reader:
1. Is it very good?
Yes.
2. Will I like it if I have never internet dated?
First of all, I'm bitter and jealous that you didn't have to get on dating apps while the rest of us were fighting for our lives out there. But I owe you an answer and yes, I think you will. While the method of this dating may not be universal, getting sucked in and abused by a toxic person is definitely universal.
3. Yeah, but only foolish or lonely people would fall for a catfish, right?
The author, Anna Akbari, is a PhD sociologist. She didn't come from money and had to work hard to even get through school. She had previous healthy relationships and an active social life including doing things I didn't know you could do like house swapping, but I digress. The other women in the story are equally accomplished and socially adept so chill out, dude. Your tone is all wrong. It can happen to anyone.
4. Ok, so "Ethan" was a master manipulator?
Yup.
5. Do we find out who "Ethan" is?
Yup.
6. Wait, can I just google and look at the actual "Ethan" once I know the real name?
Yup, and you are damn right I did it before I finished the book.
7. Will I be enraged on multiple levels?
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
8. Wow, is "Ethan's" life going to suck after this book comes out?
IT BETTER!
9. But isn't this just reading someone else's text messages? Seems weird, doesn't it?
You're being judgy again. Who doesn't like hearing a friend talk about their latest dating drama (good or bad)? Also, Akbari spends the first part of the book digging into her messages with "Ethan" and it isn't just dropping into a conversation. You are learning about their dynamic and also peering into how the manipulation works. Akbari deserves an award purely for being so vulnerable to the reader, but she also keeps it interesting by explaining what was happening to her. The second half of the book becomes a detective story with the two other women as they unravel "Ethan".
10. Anything else I should know?
I'm so glad I'm no longer on the dating apps.
11. I am using dating apps now. Should I wait to read this book?
Knowledge is power, my friend. But you should probably keep some alcohol nearby.
(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and Grand Central Publishing.)
1. Is it very good?
Yes.
2. Will I like it if I have never internet dated?
First of all, I'm bitter and jealous that you didn't have to get on dating apps while the rest of us were fighting for our lives out there. But I owe you an answer and yes, I think you will. While the method of this dating may not be universal, getting sucked in and abused by a toxic person is definitely universal.
3. Yeah, but only foolish or lonely people would fall for a catfish, right?
The author, Anna Akbari, is a PhD sociologist. She didn't come from money and had to work hard to even get through school. She had previous healthy relationships and an active social life including doing things I didn't know you could do like house swapping, but I digress. The other women in the story are equally accomplished and socially adept so chill out, dude. Your tone is all wrong. It can happen to anyone.
4. Ok, so "Ethan" was a master manipulator?
Yup.
5. Do we find out who "Ethan" is?
Yup.
6. Wait, can I just google and look at the actual "Ethan" once I know the real name?
Yup, and you are damn right I did it before I finished the book.
7. Will I be enraged on multiple levels?
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
8. Wow, is "Ethan's" life going to suck after this book comes out?
IT BETTER!
9. But isn't this just reading someone else's text messages? Seems weird, doesn't it?
You're being judgy again. Who doesn't like hearing a friend talk about their latest dating drama (good or bad)? Also, Akbari spends the first part of the book digging into her messages with "Ethan" and it isn't just dropping into a conversation. You are learning about their dynamic and also peering into how the manipulation works. Akbari deserves an award purely for being so vulnerable to the reader, but she also keeps it interesting by explaining what was happening to her. The second half of the book becomes a detective story with the two other women as they unravel "Ethan".
10. Anything else I should know?
I'm so glad I'm no longer on the dating apps.
11. I am using dating apps now. Should I wait to read this book?
Knowledge is power, my friend. But you should probably keep some alcohol nearby.
(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and Grand Central Publishing.)
July 2, 2024
idk how to rate this because I never read non-fic
HOLY F_@@(#($)$9$(##?????? Absolutely ATE this up. REDACTED I hope you get what you deserve you scumbag!!!!
I NEVER read non-fic but I was kindly gifted this by Grand Central Pub and I'm a sucker for a catfish story. The title is definitely clickbait—there's nothing to substantiate that Ethan is "America's biggest catfish"—and it worked on my stupid ass. Regardless of where Ethan stood in the Top Catfisher power-rankings, this story made me feel all the things.
If you're thinking this will be a deep dive into the psychology of the catfisher, you will be sorely disappointed. This is a "greatest hits" approach to their interactions with Ethan and then a play-by-play of how NY Anna, British Anna, and Gina revealed his true identity. Through each story, you start to identify a pattern to Ethan's behaviour and how he was able to get under their skin. You'll also notice each woman gives the same reason (no spoilies) for why they couldn't just block him on everything, and it is this reason that made it click for me. And further to this specific reason, you can see how their dating history or outlook on love primed them to be taken advantage of by someone like Ethan.
Despite NY Anna having a PhD in sociology, she refrains from speculating about how Ethan curated his identity to a specific victim type. Idk if this is because she felt it would be unwise to unless thoroughly researched, or she just didn't want to get into the weeds, but I would've liked a little more insight in that regards.
Ethan's behaviour after being "unmasked" made my blood BOIL. Anna doesn't slap a mental health diagnosis on them (which would be wildly irresponsible) but it's clear that they are sick and you can't reason with someone like this. And when I learned about what they're up to these days...... I'M READY TO FIGHT!!!!
Anyways, a bingeable read that focuses more on what happened vs why it happened. Waiting for the Netflix or Prime doc....
__
Check out my YouTube
HOLY F_@@(#($)$9$(##?????? Absolutely ATE this up. REDACTED I hope you get what you deserve you scumbag!!!!
I NEVER read non-fic but I was kindly gifted this by Grand Central Pub and I'm a sucker for a catfish story. The title is definitely clickbait—there's nothing to substantiate that Ethan is "America's biggest catfish"—and it worked on my stupid ass. Regardless of where Ethan stood in the Top Catfisher power-rankings, this story made me feel all the things.
If you're thinking this will be a deep dive into the psychology of the catfisher, you will be sorely disappointed. This is a "greatest hits" approach to their interactions with Ethan and then a play-by-play of how NY Anna, British Anna, and Gina revealed his true identity. Through each story, you start to identify a pattern to Ethan's behaviour and how he was able to get under their skin. You'll also notice each woman gives the same reason (no spoilies) for why they couldn't just block him on everything, and it is this reason that made it click for me. And further to this specific reason, you can see how their dating history or outlook on love primed them to be taken advantage of by someone like Ethan.
Despite NY Anna having a PhD in sociology, she refrains from speculating about how Ethan curated his identity to a specific victim type. Idk if this is because she felt it would be unwise to unless thoroughly researched, or she just didn't want to get into the weeds, but I would've liked a little more insight in that regards.
Ethan's behaviour after being "unmasked" made my blood BOIL. Anna doesn't slap a mental health diagnosis on them (which would be wildly irresponsible) but it's clear that they are sick and you can't reason with someone like this. And when I learned about what they're up to these days...... I'M READY TO FIGHT!!!!
Anyways, a bingeable read that focuses more on what happened vs why it happened. Waiting for the Netflix or Prime doc....
__
Check out my YouTube
June 9, 2024
*** Prepare for a long one ***
Man oh man did this story fill me with rage. I found myself boiling…. No, simmering with anger. Unfortunately catfishing is a real thing and happens all the time. We can thank the lovely internet for that.
Ethan meets three different women online at different times. He starts to court them. Considering he is highly intelligent and quite the charmer, it becomes clear that they want to meet him. I really can’t give you any more details but I’m sure you have an idea. I mean, everyone has seen the movie Catfish or the series at least right? Highly addictive but terribly disturbing.
Why on earth would you continue to talk to someone and invest your whole time and energy if they refuse to talk on the phone or video chat? Hello! Your first clue is THEY ARE HIDING SOMETHING! Period! However, this book delves deep into the loneliness these women experience. There was always something niggling at them to know the truth. Why would someone spend years invested in a relationship that is just not tangible? EVER!
Now, I will share my own personal experience in the age of Love@AOL. In the year 2000 I had been talking to a guy online that was absolutely gorgeous. We messaged almost nightly. Flirted intensely. I started to like this guy y’all. Well, I was flying up to Detroit to visit my brother. This man lived in St Louis, MO. I got a layover in St. Louis just so I could meet him face to face. Listen when I tell you that I stood in that airport waiting for him to walk up to only never appear. Yep. That’s my story. He disappeared. Probably married or whatever, but it taught me a little lesson. Just remember that anyone can be anybody they want through a screen.
I thought the author’s writing was excellent. She goes into great lengths to share each woman’s experience and how Ethan wrecked their lives forever. His manipulations and the control he had over them was baffling. I finished this is one day. Highly recommend if you enjoy investigative stories.
Thanks so much @grandcentralpub @NetGalley and Anna Akbari for the opportunity.
Publication date June 4, 2024
4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Man oh man did this story fill me with rage. I found myself boiling…. No, simmering with anger. Unfortunately catfishing is a real thing and happens all the time. We can thank the lovely internet for that.
Ethan meets three different women online at different times. He starts to court them. Considering he is highly intelligent and quite the charmer, it becomes clear that they want to meet him. I really can’t give you any more details but I’m sure you have an idea. I mean, everyone has seen the movie Catfish or the series at least right? Highly addictive but terribly disturbing.
Why on earth would you continue to talk to someone and invest your whole time and energy if they refuse to talk on the phone or video chat? Hello! Your first clue is THEY ARE HIDING SOMETHING! Period! However, this book delves deep into the loneliness these women experience. There was always something niggling at them to know the truth. Why would someone spend years invested in a relationship that is just not tangible? EVER!
Now, I will share my own personal experience in the age of Love@AOL. In the year 2000 I had been talking to a guy online that was absolutely gorgeous. We messaged almost nightly. Flirted intensely. I started to like this guy y’all. Well, I was flying up to Detroit to visit my brother. This man lived in St Louis, MO. I got a layover in St. Louis just so I could meet him face to face. Listen when I tell you that I stood in that airport waiting for him to walk up to only never appear. Yep. That’s my story. He disappeared. Probably married or whatever, but it taught me a little lesson. Just remember that anyone can be anybody they want through a screen.
I thought the author’s writing was excellent. She goes into great lengths to share each woman’s experience and how Ethan wrecked their lives forever. His manipulations and the control he had over them was baffling. I finished this is one day. Highly recommend if you enjoy investigative stories.
Thanks so much @grandcentralpub @NetGalley and Anna Akbari for the opportunity.
Publication date June 4, 2024
4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
June 18, 2024
There Is No Ethan was compelling, I couldn’t put it down or look away from its extreme digital drama. This is the true story of “how three women caught American’s biggest catfish.”
I have Lots! of thoughts but less is more when it comes to this reading experience, so I’ll only share a few brief comments (and strongly recommend avoiding Google in advance if you plan to read this book)— Early on, I noticed a direct conflict of interest when occupations were mentioned. I had an early suspicion about who Ethan was (I was wrong). As information was revealed, I could only wonder about Ethan’s motives.
I felt for the women who were unknowing participants in Ethan’s charade, yet I was astounded they kept engaging and coming back for more, despite his cyclical behavior, both online and in-person, by failing to follow through with their plans, repeatedly. The events predominately took place between 2008-2013 and I had to remind myself of this frequently as I read the story — Social media and digital tech were not as advanced as they are today.
There Is No Ethan definitely had some surprises. In addition to raising ethical questions, the story serves as a reminder to always do your research, especially with the numerous resources available today — 3.5 stars
Thank you to Netgalley and Grand Central Publishing for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
I have Lots! of thoughts but less is more when it comes to this reading experience, so I’ll only share a few brief comments (and strongly recommend avoiding Google in advance if you plan to read this book)— Early on, I noticed a direct conflict of interest when occupations were mentioned. I had an early suspicion about who Ethan was (I was wrong). As information was revealed, I could only wonder about Ethan’s motives.
I felt for the women who were unknowing participants in Ethan’s charade, yet I was astounded they kept engaging and coming back for more, despite his cyclical behavior, both online and in-person, by failing to follow through with their plans, repeatedly. The events predominately took place between 2008-2013 and I had to remind myself of this frequently as I read the story — Social media and digital tech were not as advanced as they are today.
There Is No Ethan definitely had some surprises. In addition to raising ethical questions, the story serves as a reminder to always do your research, especially with the numerous resources available today — 3.5 stars
Thank you to Netgalley and Grand Central Publishing for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
June 15, 2024
4.5 stars. If everything in this book is true, then I’m convinced Emily Slutsky is regularly reading the reviews of this book. Hi Emily.
June 21, 2024
In a word: riveting
👉IS ETHAN'S TRUE IDENTITY REVEALED IN THIS BOOK? Yes, and the truth is shocking.
"Whoever he was, we knew he must be exposed and stopped before he did this to anyone else." 🕵️♀️
I don't mean to suggest that we should be entertained by another person's trauma, but WOW does this read like the most jaw-dropping reality TV + crime drama.
Let me back up . . .
In 2010, Anna Akbari was navigating the ups and downs of online dating when she met her perfect match: a man named Ethan. They hit it off immediately, and Ethan swiftly became an all-engrossing part of her life, consuming her time and energy both day and night. After only a few weeks, they discussed marriage and looked at wedding bands online. It wasn't long before Anna fell in love.
To truly be together, they only needed to overcome one final hurdle: they needed to meet in person. But after months of excuses, missed appointments, and unfortunate timing, Anna had yet to meet Ethan in person or even speak with him on the phone.
Suspicious, she began sleuthing and uncovered two other women who'd fallen for Ethan but had never met him. Though Ethan tried to pit these intelligent women against each other, they instead joined forces to find Ethan, confront him, and ultimately expose his true identity.
There Is No Ethan is an absolutely arresting account of online deception and emotional manipulation.
With real-world interactions decreasing and millions of people now making virtual connections, we have to be careful and protect ourselves in ways that didn’t apply before. If you're making friends in digital spaces or seeking romantic partners online, you need to read this book.
My deepest gratitude to the kind people at Grand Central Publishing for sending me a copy of this book that I was dying to read.
--
ORIGINAL POST 👇
This book sounds wild. 👀😱
Blurb: "Part memoir, part explosive window into the mind of a catfisher, a thrilling personal account of three women coming face-to-face with an internet predator and teaming up to expose them."
That "them" on the end makes me think maybe the catfisher is a woman. 🤔 Only one way to find out!
I'm definitely going to read this.
👉IS ETHAN'S TRUE IDENTITY REVEALED IN THIS BOOK? Yes, and the truth is shocking.
"Whoever he was, we knew he must be exposed and stopped before he did this to anyone else." 🕵️♀️
I don't mean to suggest that we should be entertained by another person's trauma, but WOW does this read like the most jaw-dropping reality TV + crime drama.
Let me back up . . .
In 2010, Anna Akbari was navigating the ups and downs of online dating when she met her perfect match: a man named Ethan. They hit it off immediately, and Ethan swiftly became an all-engrossing part of her life, consuming her time and energy both day and night. After only a few weeks, they discussed marriage and looked at wedding bands online. It wasn't long before Anna fell in love.
To truly be together, they only needed to overcome one final hurdle: they needed to meet in person. But after months of excuses, missed appointments, and unfortunate timing, Anna had yet to meet Ethan in person or even speak with him on the phone.
Suspicious, she began sleuthing and uncovered two other women who'd fallen for Ethan but had never met him. Though Ethan tried to pit these intelligent women against each other, they instead joined forces to find Ethan, confront him, and ultimately expose his true identity.
There Is No Ethan is an absolutely arresting account of online deception and emotional manipulation.
With real-world interactions decreasing and millions of people now making virtual connections, we have to be careful and protect ourselves in ways that didn’t apply before. If you're making friends in digital spaces or seeking romantic partners online, you need to read this book.
My deepest gratitude to the kind people at Grand Central Publishing for sending me a copy of this book that I was dying to read.
--
ORIGINAL POST 👇
This book sounds wild. 👀😱
Blurb: "Part memoir, part explosive window into the mind of a catfisher, a thrilling personal account of three women coming face-to-face with an internet predator and teaming up to expose them."
That "them" on the end makes me think maybe the catfisher is a woman. 🤔 Only one way to find out!
I'm definitely going to read this.
June 20, 2024
“America’s biggest Catfish?????”
Ummmm, Ashley Taylor would like a word . . .
But seriously though. This thing was making its rounds on The ‘Gram so of course I got big FOMO and requested it immediately from the library. At some point I have to learn there are lots of people who (a) are much kinder than I am, (b) obtain advanced copies and feel obligated to push them to the front and center on/near pub date, and/or (c) are not addicted to all things trash T.V. like myself. This is the story of three ladies who all get taken by “Ethan” – their online boyfriend – back in 2011. While I understand the intertubes and at-home sleuthing weren’t quite what they are today, that actually worked against me feeling for these women. Call me a victim blamer, but JFC at some point even if Ethan weren’t a total fabrication, it was REAL apparent . . . .
Releasing this book THIRTEEN YEARS after the fact certainly did it no favors either. Ethan was a little minnow in comparison to some of the Catfish stories that have been on my boob tube for almost the same amount of time.
Ummmm, Ashley Taylor would like a word . . .
But seriously though. This thing was making its rounds on The ‘Gram so of course I got big FOMO and requested it immediately from the library. At some point I have to learn there are lots of people who (a) are much kinder than I am, (b) obtain advanced copies and feel obligated to push them to the front and center on/near pub date, and/or (c) are not addicted to all things trash T.V. like myself. This is the story of three ladies who all get taken by “Ethan” – their online boyfriend – back in 2011. While I understand the intertubes and at-home sleuthing weren’t quite what they are today, that actually worked against me feeling for these women. Call me a victim blamer, but JFC at some point even if Ethan weren’t a total fabrication, it was REAL apparent . . . .
Releasing this book THIRTEEN YEARS after the fact certainly did it no favors either. Ethan was a little minnow in comparison to some of the Catfish stories that have been on my boob tube for almost the same amount of time.
June 2, 2024
In 2011, three successful and highly educated women fell head over heels for the brilliant and charming Ethan Schuman. Unbeknownst to the others, each exchanged countless messages with Ethan, staying up late into the evenings to deepen their connections with this seemingly perfect man. Eventually, they learn Ethan isn’t who he claimed to be, and that is only the beginning of the deception.
I was shocked to my core when I found out the truth behind who Ethan Schuman really was and what has happened to the person since being caught. It's a mixture of riveting, infuriating, and thought-provoking. We understand cons that are aimed to get sex or money, but what do we make of these cons whose aim is to take people's emotional well-being? The damage Ethan's con had one these women, in particular a woman referred to as British Anna, is portrayed with care but without apology. British Anna's story was heartbreaking, showcasing a form of stockholm syndrome that has very real consequences for the person affected.
I had a lot of thoughts that I talk about in my spoiler review on my blog! I'll reveal who was behind the account, how they caught them, and what has happened since.
Gripping!
I was shocked to my core when I found out the truth behind who Ethan Schuman really was and what has happened to the person since being caught. It's a mixture of riveting, infuriating, and thought-provoking. We understand cons that are aimed to get sex or money, but what do we make of these cons whose aim is to take people's emotional well-being? The damage Ethan's con had one these women, in particular a woman referred to as British Anna, is portrayed with care but without apology. British Anna's story was heartbreaking, showcasing a form of stockholm syndrome that has very real consequences for the person affected.
I had a lot of thoughts that I talk about in my spoiler review on my blog! I'll reveal who was behind the account, how they caught them, and what has happened since.
Gripping!
June 3, 2024
If you are like me a love a good documentary of the likes of the tiddler swindler or inventing Anna then this book is for you.
Thanks to Hachette Audio via NetGalley for a audio copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
There is no Ethan follows Anna Akbari (the author) who has a virtual relationship via a dating app with a man called Ethan who is emotionally manipulative and twists her psychologically for months until she decides enough is enough. Anna a sociologist herself figures there are some things about Ethan than just don't add up and after some very sleuth investigations she finds other victims of Ethan's serial lies. But who exactly is Ethan?
I have a lot to say about 'Ethan' without revealing too much all I'm left with is that 'Ethan' is a sociopath.
Having had a family member who was herself a victim of catfishing to her financial detriment years ago. This book had me tutting and rolling my eyes, angry because how could intelligent strong women fall victim to this kind of thing? But I know having witnessed it first hand that it hits so much deeper. It is a kind of torture in the soul, in the most vulnerable parts of your self.
The book is narrated by the author herself and all of 'Ethan's' parts are narrated by Justin Price. They both do an excellent job at conveying the pure frustration this book will induce to you.
My only critique is that sometimes the book felt a bit repetitive as we got taken through Ethan's relationship with some of his victims all of which were similar as Ethan used the same M.O throughout only changing slight details. Perhaps this could have been summarised more and more focus would have been better spent in the investigation element.
3.5 star rating from me.
Thanks to Hachette Audio via NetGalley for a audio copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
There is no Ethan follows Anna Akbari (the author) who has a virtual relationship via a dating app with a man called Ethan who is emotionally manipulative and twists her psychologically for months until she decides enough is enough. Anna a sociologist herself figures there are some things about Ethan than just don't add up and after some very sleuth investigations she finds other victims of Ethan's serial lies. But who exactly is Ethan?
I have a lot to say about 'Ethan' without revealing too much all I'm left with is that 'Ethan' is a sociopath.
Having had a family member who was herself a victim of catfishing to her financial detriment years ago. This book had me tutting and rolling my eyes, angry because how could intelligent strong women fall victim to this kind of thing? But I know having witnessed it first hand that it hits so much deeper. It is a kind of torture in the soul, in the most vulnerable parts of your self.
The book is narrated by the author herself and all of 'Ethan's' parts are narrated by Justin Price. They both do an excellent job at conveying the pure frustration this book will induce to you.
My only critique is that sometimes the book felt a bit repetitive as we got taken through Ethan's relationship with some of his victims all of which were similar as Ethan used the same M.O throughout only changing slight details. Perhaps this could have been summarised more and more focus would have been better spent in the investigation element.
3.5 star rating from me.
July 3, 2024
This could’ve been a podcast or article. The subtitle gives it all away and I’m not sure the author earned the full length. I liked it and was entertained but found myself so far ahead of the story.
June 15, 2024
An audiobook read by the author and I felt like it was done well. The story itself was pretty interesting, the reason and purpose behind the catfish scheme of "Ethan"! I think a big reason for writing this book is for Anna to "out" Ethan and for more of the world to really know who they are and to be wary of Ethan. The reveal was well done!
I felt like the book was too long. The first half got bogged down in Anna and Ethans email and texting communication strings and circled around and around the amount of times they would meet up, to not meet. There was constant emotional manipulation on Ethans part, etc. We are then told a quick synopsis of the other two womens stories. Overall it was interesting but it wasn't written in a propulsive way to it tended to be on edge of a tedious read to get through to get to the answers.
Thank you to NetGalley and Hatchette Audio for the advance ALC.
I felt like the book was too long. The first half got bogged down in Anna and Ethans email and texting communication strings and circled around and around the amount of times they would meet up, to not meet. There was constant emotional manipulation on Ethans part, etc. We are then told a quick synopsis of the other two womens stories. Overall it was interesting but it wasn't written in a propulsive way to it tended to be on edge of a tedious read to get through to get to the answers.
Thank you to NetGalley and Hatchette Audio for the advance ALC.
June 8, 2024
Anyone else watch Catfish on MTV back in the day?? I definitely did and I’m always drawn to these stories, the mystery of the who and why.
This was basically an episode of Catfish made into a book. Not to minimize what the women in this book went through, but it was very similar to many other catfishing stories that have been shared.
The story is compulsive because the reader wants to know who “Ethan” really is. But the story is very drawn out and I think this is better served as an essay or web article.
The audio is read by the author and is very well done!
This was basically an episode of Catfish made into a book. Not to minimize what the women in this book went through, but it was very similar to many other catfishing stories that have been shared.
The story is compulsive because the reader wants to know who “Ethan” really is. But the story is very drawn out and I think this is better served as an essay or web article.
The audio is read by the author and is very well done!
June 19, 2024
First, for the TLDR: The expression “stranger than fiction” is overused but applies in this case. If you are interested in true crime or psychological suspense due to the WTF factor, this book is unique and should satisfy. It’s in part shocking and baffling because of what didn’t happen as well as what did. WHY is not always a useful question, but you’ll have trouble not wondering it repeatedly here. The audiobook is FANTASTIC, read by the author and an amazing voice actor who brings Ethan to life perfectly, especially given that his job is to render the avatar or persona of Ethan — using Ethan’s actual words for a script, because we have all the text messages! — into the mental image of the “fantasy guy” of the women Ethan pursued. I found this riveting, gripping, and unputdownable. As others have said, try not to Google anything if you don’t know the story already, but I knew the story and I was still wholly absorbed in the book.
Ok! - so I said why I think this book is good, and now I’ll say why I also think its’s important in my little peachy Op-Ed below that you may freely ignore. Because, as others have mentioned, this book is very readable but also a sociological text that captures an vulnerable moment in the history of the early Interwebs as well as many still-applicable aspects of emotional abuse and of virtual interpersonal interactions including internet dating, stalking, fraud, and other forms of cyberabuse.
***
Many of my old-school GR friends from the wayback machine know that my job involves working with survivors of abuse. I probably mention it too often in reviews, but I can’t help it: The job changes the lens through which you view the world and exist in it.
One thing you learn quickly in this line of work is that abuse is far, far more common than most people think. And of course, there is no typical survivor of it. For instance, I work in an area with many wealthy and privileged people with good incomes and grad degreees and family holiday photo cards that look great, and yet such privilege does not shield people we serve in this community from experiencing abuse. Sure, there are also lots of vulnerable community members whose lack of such privilege unfortunately creates further opportunities for exploitation and abuse. But my point is that we routinely see that abuse occurs fully across every possible spectrum of humanity, in every way.
Another thing you learn early on is how insidiously complicated and devastating emotional and psychological abuse can be. Survivors of such abuse we work with often say, apologetically and with some level of guilt, something along the lines of: I almost wish the abuse would be physical because then it would be easier for me to really see it and to really believe that it is wrong! What they mean is, their ability to trust in themselves and their own perspective anymore is completely eroded. This speaks to the seeming inescapability of emotional and psychological abuse: these abusers can do such a number on you that at some point they don’t even need to be around anymore to perpetuate it; they train your brain so that you essentially keep on doing it to yourself.
Because I see so much abuse and I know that it is sadly not rare, I appreciate any book or resource that helps bring about greater awareness of what it can look like and feel like and what its lasting impacts are. This book is an important addition to that canon and to the understanding of emotional and psychological abuse especially. The credentials of Ethan’s targets are impeccable: these women are educated and privileged and talented and accomplished. And Ethan “only” ever emotionally and psychologically abuses them (and I would say also stalks them in a unique, trauma-bonded twist on stalking). Yet, the consequence are nonetheless pretty devastating.
Let’s address some of the inevitable critical NIMBY, “I would never fall for that!” grumbling. As others have said, it is crucial to recall that the Internet was new back then and that it was a Wild West of unregulated and untested exploitative potential. So, things that would not so easily fly today, like never meeting via video, phone, or in person, were not so weird and suspect and unprecedented then.
And yes, I also agree with many of you that even when Ethan is on his “best behavior,” he was simply not my cup of tea. It can admittedly be hard to see how people could get so attached to him. For me, he was like a parade of red flags instead of a circus and also just like — no thanks bro.
But everyone has a weakness for a certain type, not to mention an Achilles heel or two, and most people crave at least some kind of connection since, like it or not, humans are hardwired to require it on some level. (Human babies can’t survive without it.)
And people like Ethan are expert at exploiting all that creatively. Just as with survivors, there are no typical abusers, but you may be surprised by how many of the abusers I hear about at work tend to be charming and smart and charismatic and thus also very, very good at what they do abuse-wise, even though their behavior defies all logic and reason and understanding. Many of them also have quite the impressive pillar of society resume, just like Ethan. They often aren’t focused on torturing others while simply frittering away their own lives; rather they can be very tenacious and determined to conquer across multiple life domains and not just in the twisted power/control dynamics of their interpersonal relationships.
I’ve also never in my whole career met a single person for whom it would be true to say they wanted to be abused. People are so much more complex than that. So if your takeaway from this book is what the hell is wrong with these women, they should have known/done better, then with all due respect, I think that is an incorrect takeaway and humbly suggest that it would be of service to you to cultivate some empathy and humility.
A better takeaway probably is — but for the grace of god, there go we. Even if Ethan was not your cup of tea, and even if there is no Ethan, there are ample Ethan alternatives in a variety of societal roles who may be your cup of tea. There are people like Ethan out there, and even Ethan is still out there, thriving and paying no consequences for actions. Ethan could be anyone — hell, Ethan could be your doctor. Pray you don’t encounter an Ethan at a vulnerable time for you, and that if you do, people are willing to extend you some grace and to support your hope and healing.
Ok! - so I said why I think this book is good, and now I’ll say why I also think its’s important in my little peachy Op-Ed below that you may freely ignore. Because, as others have mentioned, this book is very readable but also a sociological text that captures an vulnerable moment in the history of the early Interwebs as well as many still-applicable aspects of emotional abuse and of virtual interpersonal interactions including internet dating, stalking, fraud, and other forms of cyberabuse.
***
Many of my old-school GR friends from the wayback machine know that my job involves working with survivors of abuse. I probably mention it too often in reviews, but I can’t help it: The job changes the lens through which you view the world and exist in it.
One thing you learn quickly in this line of work is that abuse is far, far more common than most people think. And of course, there is no typical survivor of it. For instance, I work in an area with many wealthy and privileged people with good incomes and grad degreees and family holiday photo cards that look great, and yet such privilege does not shield people we serve in this community from experiencing abuse. Sure, there are also lots of vulnerable community members whose lack of such privilege unfortunately creates further opportunities for exploitation and abuse. But my point is that we routinely see that abuse occurs fully across every possible spectrum of humanity, in every way.
Another thing you learn early on is how insidiously complicated and devastating emotional and psychological abuse can be. Survivors of such abuse we work with often say, apologetically and with some level of guilt, something along the lines of: I almost wish the abuse would be physical because then it would be easier for me to really see it and to really believe that it is wrong! What they mean is, their ability to trust in themselves and their own perspective anymore is completely eroded. This speaks to the seeming inescapability of emotional and psychological abuse: these abusers can do such a number on you that at some point they don’t even need to be around anymore to perpetuate it; they train your brain so that you essentially keep on doing it to yourself.
Because I see so much abuse and I know that it is sadly not rare, I appreciate any book or resource that helps bring about greater awareness of what it can look like and feel like and what its lasting impacts are. This book is an important addition to that canon and to the understanding of emotional and psychological abuse especially. The credentials of Ethan’s targets are impeccable: these women are educated and privileged and talented and accomplished. And Ethan “only” ever emotionally and psychologically abuses them (and I would say also stalks them in a unique, trauma-bonded twist on stalking). Yet, the consequence are nonetheless pretty devastating.
Let’s address some of the inevitable critical NIMBY, “I would never fall for that!” grumbling. As others have said, it is crucial to recall that the Internet was new back then and that it was a Wild West of unregulated and untested exploitative potential. So, things that would not so easily fly today, like never meeting via video, phone, or in person, were not so weird and suspect and unprecedented then.
And yes, I also agree with many of you that even when Ethan is on his “best behavior,” he was simply not my cup of tea. It can admittedly be hard to see how people could get so attached to him. For me, he was like a parade of red flags instead of a circus and also just like — no thanks bro.
But everyone has a weakness for a certain type, not to mention an Achilles heel or two, and most people crave at least some kind of connection since, like it or not, humans are hardwired to require it on some level. (Human babies can’t survive without it.)
And people like Ethan are expert at exploiting all that creatively. Just as with survivors, there are no typical abusers, but you may be surprised by how many of the abusers I hear about at work tend to be charming and smart and charismatic and thus also very, very good at what they do abuse-wise, even though their behavior defies all logic and reason and understanding. Many of them also have quite the impressive pillar of society resume, just like Ethan. They often aren’t focused on torturing others while simply frittering away their own lives; rather they can be very tenacious and determined to conquer across multiple life domains and not just in the twisted power/control dynamics of their interpersonal relationships.
I’ve also never in my whole career met a single person for whom it would be true to say they wanted to be abused. People are so much more complex than that. So if your takeaway from this book is what the hell is wrong with these women, they should have known/done better, then with all due respect, I think that is an incorrect takeaway and humbly suggest that it would be of service to you to cultivate some empathy and humility.
A better takeaway probably is — but for the grace of god, there go we. Even if Ethan was not your cup of tea, and even if there is no Ethan, there are ample Ethan alternatives in a variety of societal roles who may be your cup of tea. There are people like Ethan out there, and even Ethan is still out there, thriving and paying no consequences for actions. Ethan could be anyone — hell, Ethan could be your doctor. Pray you don’t encounter an Ethan at a vulnerable time for you, and that if you do, people are willing to extend you some grace and to support your hope and healing.
June 13, 2024
This is an infuriating and batsh*t wild story that will have you banging your head against the wall. In THERE IS NO ETHAN, Anna Akbari tells the story of her intense online courtship with Ethan Schuman, a perfect-on-paper man who matches with her on OKCupid, but turns out to be an manipulative, catfishing con artist who wants nothing more than to emotionally torture vulnerable women. Satisfyingly, she also talks about meeting up with two other women who were also Ethan's victims and banding together to reveal his true identity.
Anna and Ethan hit it off immediately, messaging constantly and talking about their serious intentions - he's funny, somewhat charming, attentive, a good personality reader, and more. They both have busy work lives and travel schedules, but Anna is insistent that they meet up so they can see how they get along in person. However, Ethan keeps finding ways to put it off, cancel, be stuck in bad weather, stand her up, you name it - refusing to even talk to her on the phone. This might seem like an immediate red flag to you and me, but you get to read the entire transcript of their conversations, and you can see how he love-bombs her into thinking nothing's wrong, gaslights her when she starts to question parts of her identity, and berates her when she even hints at wanting to back out.
Anna's journey with Ethan is truly maddening, but she wasn't his only victim. He did the same to countless accomplished, self-possessed, intelligent women, two of whom Anna is able to find online, commiserate with, and pool their details of Ethan's "life" to uncover who he really is. I think what disturbed me most about this book is that Ethan isn't a typical catfish who wants something - i.e., money - from these women. No, he only wants to reel them into the most intimate kind of connection, take advantage of the vulnerability women feel on dating apps, convince them that he's "the one" for them, and ensnare them in his web. Clearly, there's something deeply, deeply wrong with him - as evidenced by the conversations that come about at the end of the book, too.
Thank you to the publisher for the audio ARC via Netgalley!
Anna and Ethan hit it off immediately, messaging constantly and talking about their serious intentions - he's funny, somewhat charming, attentive, a good personality reader, and more. They both have busy work lives and travel schedules, but Anna is insistent that they meet up so they can see how they get along in person. However, Ethan keeps finding ways to put it off, cancel, be stuck in bad weather, stand her up, you name it - refusing to even talk to her on the phone. This might seem like an immediate red flag to you and me, but you get to read the entire transcript of their conversations, and you can see how he love-bombs her into thinking nothing's wrong, gaslights her when she starts to question parts of her identity, and berates her when she even hints at wanting to back out.
Anna's journey with Ethan is truly maddening, but she wasn't his only victim. He did the same to countless accomplished, self-possessed, intelligent women, two of whom Anna is able to find online, commiserate with, and pool their details of Ethan's "life" to uncover who he really is. I think what disturbed me most about this book is that Ethan isn't a typical catfish who wants something - i.e., money - from these women. No, he only wants to reel them into the most intimate kind of connection, take advantage of the vulnerability women feel on dating apps, convince them that he's "the one" for them, and ensnare them in his web. Clearly, there's something deeply, deeply wrong with him - as evidenced by the conversations that come about at the end of the book, too.
Thank you to the publisher for the audio ARC via Netgalley!
May 30, 2024
Well, it's been less than 24 hours since I was gifted access to this book (thank you to NetGalley and the publisher), and I devoured it in two sittings. I can say with confidence that even the most twisty of thrillers can't compete with the tension and dramatic irony that Akbari brings to this story.
This is a book about "catfishing," a type of social media scam that involves creating fake identities to deceive strangers, usually in the context of online dating. For several months in 2011, the author was the victim of one such scam; but, she soon uncovered a much larger network of victims -- all female PhDs in their 30s -- not exactly the "easily duped" crowd. Much of the "dialogue" in this story comes from real chat logs between "Ethan" and the women he emotionally manipulates ("torments" would not be hyperbolic), which kept me flying through the pages and brought a level of realism that can't be manufactured. The early chapters, which detail "Ethan's" love-bombing as he hooks his unsuspecting victims, made me all the more sick to my stomach because... this is real.
The "mystery" of who is behind the Ethan hoax is likewise documented in meticulous detail -- and, without giving anything away, the eventual "mask-off" moment was satisfying. In light of the facts discussed in the Afterword, I really hope that this book takes off and gets people talking. It's a perfect book club pick, especially if you enjoy true crime or sociology.
This is a book about "catfishing," a type of social media scam that involves creating fake identities to deceive strangers, usually in the context of online dating. For several months in 2011, the author was the victim of one such scam; but, she soon uncovered a much larger network of victims -- all female PhDs in their 30s -- not exactly the "easily duped" crowd. Much of the "dialogue" in this story comes from real chat logs between "Ethan" and the women he emotionally manipulates ("torments" would not be hyperbolic), which kept me flying through the pages and brought a level of realism that can't be manufactured. The early chapters, which detail "Ethan's" love-bombing as he hooks his unsuspecting victims, made me all the more sick to my stomach because... this is real.
The "mystery" of who is behind the Ethan hoax is likewise documented in meticulous detail -- and, without giving anything away, the eventual "mask-off" moment was satisfying. In light of the facts discussed in the Afterword, I really hope that this book takes off and gets people talking. It's a perfect book club pick, especially if you enjoy true crime or sociology.
June 7, 2024
Wow. Go into this one blind! No googling!
I couldnt put this one down and had to keep reminding myself this was not a novel. I listened to the audio and think the author did a great job reading; not many authors can.
I am saddened there aren’t legal actions that can be taken against catfish.
Thank you much netgalley!
I couldnt put this one down and had to keep reminding myself this was not a novel. I listened to the audio and think the author did a great job reading; not many authors can.
I am saddened there aren’t legal actions that can be taken against catfish.
Thank you much netgalley!
Read
June 26, 2024I read this for my egirl comps (electronic girl comprehensive exams).
April 28, 2024
It's a wild ride! The author relays the terrifying and true story of being Catfished while online dating - a crazy journey crossing continents, spanning years and, through the intrepid and persistent courage of a group of intelligent, strong and resilient women, results in the exposure of "Ethan". I'm not the first reviewer to say it but don't look this story or it's main players up ahead of time, wait for the end of the book, it's worth it.
Anna Akbari deals with difficult and very personal subject manner with authenticity, insight and grace while unflinchingly examining her own thoughts and motivations throughout. "There is no Ethan" is well written, thought provoking and an engrossing read; recommend to everyone, regardless of online dating history, there's something here for everyone.
Thank you to the Publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review
Anna Akbari deals with difficult and very personal subject manner with authenticity, insight and grace while unflinchingly examining her own thoughts and motivations throughout. "There is no Ethan" is well written, thought provoking and an engrossing read; recommend to everyone, regardless of online dating history, there's something here for everyone.
Thank you to the Publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review
June 14, 2024
I was catfished by this subtitle. IT WAS NOT AMERICA’S BIGGEST CATFISH BY ANY METRIC!
Ridiculously bad non-story, can’t believe this was published. The Atlantic wouldn’t publish the article, can’t understand why a publisher did. Still very upset days later. 😂 did not zoom out to talk about romance scams, just recounted every goddamn conversation with one small-time scammer.
Ridiculously bad non-story, can’t believe this was published. The Atlantic wouldn’t publish the article, can’t understand why a publisher did. Still very upset days later. 😂 did not zoom out to talk about romance scams, just recounted every goddamn conversation with one small-time scammer.
April 23, 2024
A topic that you would think wouldn't be so relevant by now but it so is! You will find yourself judging these women - yes you will - but unless you experienced it it's hard to understand. The reading is fast paced and the story will have you hooked right from the start. I applaud the efforts of the three women for their determination (not to mention their incredible sleuthing abilities) to expose
"Ethan". Everyone should have their kids - both male and female - read this. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion.
"Ethan". Everyone should have their kids - both male and female - read this. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion.
June 6, 2024
In There Is No Ethan, sociologist Dr. Anna Akbari reveals how she and many other women were catfished by "Ethan" on various online dating websites in the late 2000s/early 2010s. Like a typical catfish experience (as popularized by the 2010 film featuring Nev Schulman and the subsequent MTV documentary series still running in 2024), the women's relationships with "Ethan" were almost entirely conducted through the internet -- "Ethan" refused to talk on the phone, videochat, or meet in person (or such plans would invariably fall-through at the last minute, despite many of the women already having spent money or taken time off work to make such plans happen). "Ethan" did chat on the phone with a few of the women, but those women didn't realize they were talking to "Ethan" at the time.
I'm not sure if "Ethan" is or was "America's Biggest Catfish" as the book's subtitle implies, but certainly "Ethan"'s the three main victims discussed in this book (the author, Gina, and especially British Anna, with whom "Ethan" corresponded for years) were very enmeshed in "Ethan" and "Ethan's" vicious and manipulative psychological tactics, to the point where it'd be reasonable for all of them to be much more guarded when it comes to meeting and trusting new people, especially those they meet online, for the indefinite future (though Akbari mentions at the end how she's determined to still be as open as before).
This book is definitely a compelling read, maybe a bit on the lengthy side as Akbari and "Ethan"'s relationship is extensively detailed for almost the first half of the book before introducing the other women (though kudos to Akbari for being willing to be that vulnerable).
And now for the spoilered section of this review, where I discuss my thoughts on "Ethan":
My stats:
Book 113 for 2024
Book 1716 cumulatively
I'm not sure if "Ethan" is or was "America's Biggest Catfish" as the book's subtitle implies, but certainly "Ethan"'s the three main victims discussed in this book (the author, Gina, and especially British Anna, with whom "Ethan" corresponded for years) were very enmeshed in "Ethan" and "Ethan's" vicious and manipulative psychological tactics, to the point where it'd be reasonable for all of them to be much more guarded when it comes to meeting and trusting new people, especially those they meet online, for the indefinite future (though Akbari mentions at the end how she's determined to still be as open as before).
This book is definitely a compelling read, maybe a bit on the lengthy side as Akbari and "Ethan"'s relationship is extensively detailed for almost the first half of the book before introducing the other women (though kudos to Akbari for being willing to be that vulnerable).
And now for the spoilered section of this review, where I discuss my thoughts on "Ethan":
My stats:
Book 113 for 2024
Book 1716 cumulatively
June 24, 2024
3.5⭐️ I mean... by the title I was expecting something ultra shocking, but this is a pretty standard catfishing story. Definitely not America's biggest catfish! But interesting nonetheless.
Read
June 12, 2024Listened to the audio of this bizarre catfish account and can certainly see it being turned into a documentary/movie. The internet is wild!
May 28, 2024
“There Is No Ethan" is both an eye-opener and a page-turner, diving deep into the world of online dating and catfishing. Anna Akbari’s part memoir, part detective story reveals the shocking truth about how easily one can be deceived online.
In 2011, three smart, successful women fell for Ethan Schuman, a man who seemed perfect but was hiding behind a facade of emotional lies. Each woman, caught up in his web, didn’t know about the others. His convincing excuses to avoid video calls and last-minute meetups were accepted because, after all, he wasn’t asking for money, so what could his motive to lie possibly be? Instead, Ethan sought to entangle these women in intensely intimate emotional bonds.
The book follows these women as they independently start noticing cracks in Ethan’s stories and eventually connect with each other to unravel a much bigger deceit. Together, they realize the web of deceit goes much further than they could have imagined and uncover dozens of other victims, showing just how deep and dark the world of catfishing can get. Akbari not only shares her personal ordeal but also paints a broader picture of modern relationships where digital interactions can easily distort reality.
Akbari’s narrative is engaging, pulling you right into the psychological and emotional rollercoaster of her experiences. The book starts with a deep dive into her relationship with Ethan, showing step-by-step how a catfish operates. The latter half feels like a detective story, as the women piece together who Ethan really is.
The book does a great job of showing that anyone can fall prey to such deceit, challenging the stereotype that only the naive get tricked. It’s a stark reminder of the importance of keeping your guard up when forming connections online.
While the book is a gripping read, it could have probed deeper into Ethan’s motivations, which remain somewhat mysterious. Also, the early parts with emails and messages might seem a bit scattered until you get the full picture of the situation.
"There Is No Ethan" is a must-read if you’re into true crime or interested in the psychological aspects of online relationships. It’s a stark warning about the realities of digital dating and the lengths some will go to exploit others. Thanks to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC—this was a captivating read!
In 2011, three smart, successful women fell for Ethan Schuman, a man who seemed perfect but was hiding behind a facade of emotional lies. Each woman, caught up in his web, didn’t know about the others. His convincing excuses to avoid video calls and last-minute meetups were accepted because, after all, he wasn’t asking for money, so what could his motive to lie possibly be? Instead, Ethan sought to entangle these women in intensely intimate emotional bonds.
The book follows these women as they independently start noticing cracks in Ethan’s stories and eventually connect with each other to unravel a much bigger deceit. Together, they realize the web of deceit goes much further than they could have imagined and uncover dozens of other victims, showing just how deep and dark the world of catfishing can get. Akbari not only shares her personal ordeal but also paints a broader picture of modern relationships where digital interactions can easily distort reality.
Akbari’s narrative is engaging, pulling you right into the psychological and emotional rollercoaster of her experiences. The book starts with a deep dive into her relationship with Ethan, showing step-by-step how a catfish operates. The latter half feels like a detective story, as the women piece together who Ethan really is.
The book does a great job of showing that anyone can fall prey to such deceit, challenging the stereotype that only the naive get tricked. It’s a stark reminder of the importance of keeping your guard up when forming connections online.
While the book is a gripping read, it could have probed deeper into Ethan’s motivations, which remain somewhat mysterious. Also, the early parts with emails and messages might seem a bit scattered until you get the full picture of the situation.
"There Is No Ethan" is a must-read if you’re into true crime or interested in the psychological aspects of online relationships. It’s a stark warning about the realities of digital dating and the lengths some will go to exploit others. Thanks to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for the ARC—this was a captivating read!
June 2, 2024
Well, this is creepy! "There is No Ethan: How Three Women Uncovered America's Biggest Catfish" by Anna Akbari is definitely a cautionary tale!! And.. It's true! This is not fiction.
I wanted to read this because I've had online relationships, and I could be a victim of this kind of scam. I had to read this to learn how to tell and how you avoid being scammed. It isn't as easy as you would think. Also, I've always been interested in psychology, and I have both a BS and an MA in psychology.
I didn't get approved on Netgalley for the audiobook, so I requested the e-book and got approved right away. I did that even though I hardly ever read books now due to vision problems. I really wanted this one. I'm so glad I read it!!
In this book, you will read the detailed story of the online relationship between Anna A. and Ethan Schumann. Then, you'll read about Ethan's relationship with British Anna. After that, you'll read about Gina's relationship with Ethan. There are several other victim's stories in less detail. Then, the first 3 ladies, Anna, British Anna, and Gina, connect and work together to figure out who Ethan really is.
Ethan never did show up for any scheduled date. He refused to video chat, and he refused to talk on the phone. When the ladies got upset about not meeting him in person, there was always a crisis he used to explain it.. a stabbing, a work crisis, or a medical emergency. Then, he would shame them for not supporting him. Ethan emotionally abused his victims.
Eventually, he is confronted and outed. Yes, you'll find out who Ethan really was. Unfortunately, there's aren't yet any laws against this kind of cyber abuse. There needs to be!!
This is a really important book for all women. I highly recommend it!
Thank you to Netgalley, Grand Central Publishing, and Anne Akbari for providing this e-book in exchange for my honest review.
I wanted to read this because I've had online relationships, and I could be a victim of this kind of scam. I had to read this to learn how to tell and how you avoid being scammed. It isn't as easy as you would think. Also, I've always been interested in psychology, and I have both a BS and an MA in psychology.
I didn't get approved on Netgalley for the audiobook, so I requested the e-book and got approved right away. I did that even though I hardly ever read books now due to vision problems. I really wanted this one. I'm so glad I read it!!
In this book, you will read the detailed story of the online relationship between Anna A. and Ethan Schumann. Then, you'll read about Ethan's relationship with British Anna. After that, you'll read about Gina's relationship with Ethan. There are several other victim's stories in less detail. Then, the first 3 ladies, Anna, British Anna, and Gina, connect and work together to figure out who Ethan really is.
Ethan never did show up for any scheduled date. He refused to video chat, and he refused to talk on the phone. When the ladies got upset about not meeting him in person, there was always a crisis he used to explain it.. a stabbing, a work crisis, or a medical emergency. Then, he would shame them for not supporting him. Ethan emotionally abused his victims.
Eventually, he is confronted and outed. Yes, you'll find out who Ethan really was. Unfortunately, there's aren't yet any laws against this kind of cyber abuse. There needs to be!!
This is a really important book for all women. I highly recommend it!
Thank you to Netgalley, Grand Central Publishing, and Anne Akbari for providing this e-book in exchange for my honest review.
June 25, 2024
You know when you’re watching a scary movie and you find yourself saying, “Don’t go up the stairs,” because you know what’s waiting for the final girl up there? Repeat that sentiment and innumerable amount of times and add a great deal of indignant revulsion for what happened to the women who were the victims of “Ethan Schuman” and that’s a large part of what it felt like to read this book.
The rest of it? It doesn’t feel like justice, but real life never quite does when it comes to injustices committed against women.
Reading the first half of this book had me nauseated as I immersed myself in how three women walked right into this trap almost any woman could have walked into and were, at first, psychologically manipulated and then emotionally abused by a sociopath who seemed to not want anything from but their attention and didn’t seem to care how much they were hurting. “Ethan Schuman” managed to break these women down even though they’d never even met.
The rest of the book is an angry and vulnerable look into how these three women tried (and ultimately failed) to bring the real human behind the “Ethan Schuman” persona to account for what had been done to them and many other women and how that person kept trying to keep and/or bring these women back into orbit.
When all else failed, one of them wrote a book. It’s really good.
Thanks go to Grand Central Publishing for providing me with a finished copy of this title via their influencer program. All thoughts, opinions, views, and ideas expressed herein are mine and mine alone. Thank you!
File Under: 5 Star Review/Memoir/Nonfiction/True Crime
The rest of it? It doesn’t feel like justice, but real life never quite does when it comes to injustices committed against women.
Reading the first half of this book had me nauseated as I immersed myself in how three women walked right into this trap almost any woman could have walked into and were, at first, psychologically manipulated and then emotionally abused by a sociopath who seemed to not want anything from but their attention and didn’t seem to care how much they were hurting. “Ethan Schuman” managed to break these women down even though they’d never even met.
The rest of the book is an angry and vulnerable look into how these three women tried (and ultimately failed) to bring the real human behind the “Ethan Schuman” persona to account for what had been done to them and many other women and how that person kept trying to keep and/or bring these women back into orbit.
When all else failed, one of them wrote a book. It’s really good.
Thanks go to Grand Central Publishing for providing me with a finished copy of this title via their influencer program. All thoughts, opinions, views, and ideas expressed herein are mine and mine alone. Thank you!
File Under: 5 Star Review/Memoir/Nonfiction/True Crime
June 17, 2024
DNF after Part 1, even though I was excited by the premise. I couldn't get past the overuse of adverbs and the excessive dialogue tags. Too many sentences read like this:
"'You'll know eventually,' he mysteriously remarked, seeming to reveal that he was hiding something. 'Maybe I don't want to know,' I cheekily replied, hoping to convey a flirty, devil-may-care attitude."
Strong dialogue shouldn't need an explanation. If it doesn't stand on its own, it's time for a re-write. These kinds of tags are the equivalent of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat and saying, "Did you see that? Did you see what I did? I pulled a rabbit out of a hat. It was empty before. I don't know if you caught that." If you did the trick right, you shouldn't have to explain it.
I was also frustrated by the author's lack of introspection, especially since this is a memoir. In the first chapter, she tells the story of how her mother was conned by her father, but she fails to connect the dots to her own experience. Later, she notes that her doctoral dissertation was on social masks, but she doesn't tie that into her narrative, either. Since she's a sociologist, I was expecting a deep dive into intergenerational trauma or how one's professional obsessions often reveal something personal. I assumed I quit reading before she had the chance to cover those issues, but from the other reviews, it appears she only touches on them briefly in the epilogue.
This book should have been better; and with tighter editing and a higher aim, it could have been. As published, though, it reads like a long-form Glamour article. I think the author has a lot of potential, and she'll only get better with time. Here's hoping her next work is both a page-turner AND a heart-clencher.
Edited to add: Speaking of long-form Glamour articles, I googled Ethan's name and came across a 2014 piece the author wrote for The Observer. It's a much more polished read. In fact, had I not known it was written by the author, I would have assumed it was written by a seasoned journalist--that's how different the voices are. It made me wonder if a ghost writer was involved in the book (or the article, take your pick). Regardless, if you DNF'd this one, but you're curious about how it ended, the article is worth a read.
"'You'll know eventually,' he mysteriously remarked, seeming to reveal that he was hiding something. 'Maybe I don't want to know,' I cheekily replied, hoping to convey a flirty, devil-may-care attitude."
Strong dialogue shouldn't need an explanation. If it doesn't stand on its own, it's time for a re-write. These kinds of tags are the equivalent of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat and saying, "Did you see that? Did you see what I did? I pulled a rabbit out of a hat. It was empty before. I don't know if you caught that." If you did the trick right, you shouldn't have to explain it.
I was also frustrated by the author's lack of introspection, especially since this is a memoir. In the first chapter, she tells the story of how her mother was conned by her father, but she fails to connect the dots to her own experience. Later, she notes that her doctoral dissertation was on social masks, but she doesn't tie that into her narrative, either. Since she's a sociologist, I was expecting a deep dive into intergenerational trauma or how one's professional obsessions often reveal something personal. I assumed I quit reading before she had the chance to cover those issues, but from the other reviews, it appears she only touches on them briefly in the epilogue.
This book should have been better; and with tighter editing and a higher aim, it could have been. As published, though, it reads like a long-form Glamour article. I think the author has a lot of potential, and she'll only get better with time. Here's hoping her next work is both a page-turner AND a heart-clencher.
Edited to add: Speaking of long-form Glamour articles, I googled Ethan's name and came across a 2014 piece the author wrote for The Observer. It's a much more polished read. In fact, had I not known it was written by the author, I would have assumed it was written by a seasoned journalist--that's how different the voices are. It made me wonder if a ghost writer was involved in the book (or the article, take your pick). Regardless, if you DNF'd this one, but you're curious about how it ended, the article is worth a read.
June 12, 2024
Y’all buckle up, I got some 💩 to say about this one.
Given the cover and title I WANTED this book. I found out about it close to its pub date, requested it & didn’t get it so I bought and promptly read it. I had read ZERO reviews at this point.
About 50ish pages in I was growing really frustrated with the author, so I read a few reviews, of which state that anyone, even a PhD Sociologist can fall for catfishing.
Let’s pause there shall we?
Yes. Anyone can fall for catfishing. And it can lead to some very bad situations.
Anna wasn’t even falling for prince charming. Ethan was coming off and an entitled, horny POS that didn’t really like her BEFORE THEY EVEN MET in person.
I find it baffling that she would let a stranger talk to her this way after a week of online chatting and continue to put up with it. She even talks about this behavior. So she wasn’t clueless.
Second Anna another PhD. More of the same. Over the course of two years… seriously? Letting someone continue to string you along for that amount of time because you are curious to see who this person is.
Curiosity killed the cat.
Craziness is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting “him” to turn up.
Gina an architect (so another intelligent woman) 🤦🏻♀️. Seriously the book got hard to read. But, I wanted to see how the fall out came and who was behind Ethan all this time.
I do not condone what not Ethan did. It’s absolutely wrong. And this person pretended to have cancer. Not ok. But, thankfully these women were not conned out of money or physically harmed.
I really have zero sympathy for them and am kind of outraged that they are going to profit so much from the situation that they allowed themselves to be in from book sales.
If I hadn’t yet met someone I was chatting with online and every time we set a date to meet they bailed, it would be over. But these women let curiosity take over and got played.
Do I recommend this book? Not at all. If you’re curious google it. Maybe you can get the cliff notes version 292 pages is a lot.
Given the cover and title I WANTED this book. I found out about it close to its pub date, requested it & didn’t get it so I bought and promptly read it. I had read ZERO reviews at this point.
About 50ish pages in I was growing really frustrated with the author, so I read a few reviews, of which state that anyone, even a PhD Sociologist can fall for catfishing.
Let’s pause there shall we?
Yes. Anyone can fall for catfishing. And it can lead to some very bad situations.
Anna wasn’t even falling for prince charming. Ethan was coming off and an entitled, horny POS that didn’t really like her BEFORE THEY EVEN MET in person.
I find it baffling that she would let a stranger talk to her this way after a week of online chatting and continue to put up with it. She even talks about this behavior. So she wasn’t clueless.
Second Anna another PhD. More of the same. Over the course of two years… seriously? Letting someone continue to string you along for that amount of time because you are curious to see who this person is.
Curiosity killed the cat.
Craziness is continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting “him” to turn up.
Gina an architect (so another intelligent woman) 🤦🏻♀️. Seriously the book got hard to read. But, I wanted to see how the fall out came and who was behind Ethan all this time.
I do not condone what not Ethan did. It’s absolutely wrong. And this person pretended to have cancer. Not ok. But, thankfully these women were not conned out of money or physically harmed.
I really have zero sympathy for them and am kind of outraged that they are going to profit so much from the situation that they allowed themselves to be in from book sales.
If I hadn’t yet met someone I was chatting with online and every time we set a date to meet they bailed, it would be over. But these women let curiosity take over and got played.
Do I recommend this book? Not at all. If you’re curious google it. Maybe you can get the cliff notes version 292 pages is a lot.
June 17, 2024
3.5 rounded up!
I listened to this one on audio thanks to Libro.fm and would definitely recommend going that route as it’s great to hear the correspondences come from different voices!
This story is frustrating and infuriating and involves so much emotional manipulation. While it never gets financial (which I feel most modern catfishing stories evolve into), you can see the emotional and mental trauma “Ethan” left behind.
While I can see the importance of seeing so much of the email correspondence with Ethan, I found the latter half to be far more interesting and would’ve liked to get to that sooner!
I listened to this one on audio thanks to Libro.fm and would definitely recommend going that route as it’s great to hear the correspondences come from different voices!
This story is frustrating and infuriating and involves so much emotional manipulation. While it never gets financial (which I feel most modern catfishing stories evolve into), you can see the emotional and mental trauma “Ethan” left behind.
While I can see the importance of seeing so much of the email correspondence with Ethan, I found the latter half to be far more interesting and would’ve liked to get to that sooner!
June 22, 2024
I can only assume that enough time has passed since the Catfish film that people have forgotten it, so that's why this is getting attention. It's not some sort of grand escalation of catfishery as I was led to believe. Still, people are weird and that is mildly interesting.
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