Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Pistol Poets

Rate this book
The Edgar-nominated author of Gun Monkeys is back with a thrill-a-minute suspense novel that mixes crime and academia—with hilarious results. Here Victor Gischler draws us into a wild and wicked world, where tenured professors are busy burying bodies, cash-up-front P.I.’s hunt for missing coeds and one desperate street-tough has to decide which he’d rather a live poet or a dead criminal.

An unlucky grad student just got himself killed in a robbery gone bad. And as lowly drug lieutenant Harold Jenks races with the killer out of the alley, a light goes off in his He’ll steal the dead kid’s identity. Now Jenks, who once lorded it over seven square blocks in East St. Louis, is headed due west. With a .32 in his pocket, a 9mm Glock taped across his back, and a rap sheet nearly as long as Finnegans Wake, he’s cruising the halls of academia as Eastern Oklahoma U’s newest grad student, looking for action and hoping he can stay one couplet ahead of his violent past.

While this new bad boy on campus makes mincemeat of his metaphors, across campus visiting professor Jay Morgan has a more pressing What to do about the dead coed in his bed. The professor’s no killer, but try telling that to private eye Deke Stubbs. With the professor on the lam and Stubbs hot on his trail, more trouble blows into town. Now, as St. Louis drug boss Red Zach and his minions converge on Fumbee, Oklahoma, looking for a consignment of missing cocaine, the bullets start flying faster than the zingers at a faculty hate fest. For Morgan and Jenks, now desperate fugitives from poetic justice, survival means learning new skills—and learning fast. Because if they find out they’re bottom-of-the-class, that means they’re already dead.

Featuring the sleaziest, sorriest, and most captivating group of criminal lowlifes, sexed-up academics, poets, and rappers ever to collide in one crime novel, The Pistol Poets speeds deliriously to its electrifying payoff.


From the Hardcover edition.

340 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

Loading interface...
Loading interface...

About the author

Victor Gischler

402 books403 followers
Victor Gischler is an American author of humorous crime fiction.
Gischler's debut novel Gun Monkeys was nominated for the Edgar Award, and his novel Shotgun Opera was an Anthony Award finalist. His work has been translated into Italian, French, Spanish and Japanese. He earned a Ph.D. in English at the University of Southern Mississippi. His fifth novel Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse was published in 2008 by the Touchstone/Fireside imprint of Simon & Schuster.

He has also writes American comic books like The Punisher: Frank Castle, Wolverine and Deadpool for Marvel Comics. Gischler worked on X-Men "Curse of the Mutants" starting in the Death of Dracula one-shot and continued in X-Men #1.

Gun Monkeys has been optioned for a film adaptation, with Lee Goldberg writing the script and Ryuhei Kitamura penciled in to direct.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
120 (24%)
4 stars
189 (38%)
3 stars
130 (26%)
2 stars
42 (8%)
1 star
8 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
Profile Image for Eric_W.
1,936 reviews404 followers
January 19, 2010
Victor Geishel does it again. Rollicking good noir. Morgan, a visiting professor at a Midwestern university (Geishel assures his colleagues it certainly NOT the one where he teaches creative literature,) wakes up naked next to a young coed he bonked the night before. Problem is she's not waking up having been given some pills by her weed dealer that should really not have been taken with all that alcohol.

Morgan's also teaching poetry to some grad students, one paper he is forced to read and grade is entitled, "The Fallible Quiescence of a Wrathful Jehovah." He despises his students, the Dean, the faculty, and especially Fred Jones who just gave the school lots of money and in return expects his ostensibly awful poetry to get published in their third-rate literary journal. But Fred Jones, it turns out, wants to help with relocating the dead girl.

And one Harold Jencks decides to impersonate a student his buddy just killed who was on his way to Eastern Oklahoma to study poetry. The school desperately needed some diversity. On a campus of 8,000 they had 5 black students, "Granted it had been hard to attract black students after the lynching."

There are some priceless quotes. During a faculty party, one professor starts a tirade on Finnegan's Wake: "You Irish folk have been skating on Joyce for too long. Finnegan's Wake is bullshit. Everyone knows it's bullshit. Joyce knew it was bullshit when he wrote it. Now get out of my face, you ridiculous little tit." This particular Joycean had "hitched himself to the James Joyce bandwagon and never looked back. He fully enjoyed the massive safety of James Joyce studies and relentlessly needled "fringe" scholarship as new wave, multicultural, carnival acts." But another professor gets so pissed at this comment that he hides in the bushes, waits till the prof rides by on his bicycle (in ridiculous spandex that "scrunched up his nuts," and throws a copy of Finnegan's Wake into his spokes, sending the rider head-over-heels into a concrete fountain. "I thought I'd killed him. I could have fucked up my whole life. I'm up for tenure next year. You can't get tenure if you kill a guy." "No, it's not like the old days." Morgan replied.

Or the conference they attend: The Thirteenth Annual International Interdisciplinary Conference of the Humanities and Fine Arts was something special. Scholars and writers from all fifty states and twenty-two countries stampeded like hyper-caffeinated lemmings to the host city, where they delivered mind-numbingly complex papers on obscure subjects in their desperate bids to rack up points toward tenure. Morgan had been to more than one panel where the panelists outnumbered the audience.. . .[He had to chose between:] Homosexual Transmogrification in Androgynous Eighties Techno-Pop or Pimple and Blemish Imagery in Victorian Fiction.

The story comes to a smashing conclusion at the college's annual poetry reading during a blinding blizzard where a graduate who has had poetry accepted by such luminous publications as Word Junkie, Gas-Hole, and Pea-Pickin' Potpourri " wove his poems like elaborate spells designed by some evil wizard to suck all that was interesting and beautiful out of life. . . .If his poems had been a meal, it would have been a plate of wet cardboard." Meanwhile, the Dean's silk panties "were so far up his ass, he had tears in his eyes."

I'm going to make it a point to read everything Geishel writes.
Profile Image for Josh.
1,713 reviews168 followers
May 28, 2017
Who would've thought the hallways of academia would hold secrets and scars of murder, deception and manipulation. For this lighter side of a darker subject, Victor Gischler thrusts his characters unwillingly into situations they are ill prepared. Professor Jay Morgan just wants to put another notch on his belt by bedding a young coed but when said coed od's he finds sanctum in the most of unlikely places. Meanwhile, ying to Morgan's yang Harold Jenks trades his gun for a stolen education, impersonating a murdered student only to bring his troubles with him. This is a fast paced, damn funny, and addictive read by Victor Gischler at the top of his game. Read it twice, will go back for more. 5/5 stars.
Profile Image for Mustafa Marwan.
Author 1 book108 followers
September 18, 2023
Fun quirky story. If you like Snatch, you will like this novel. A cast of highly dysfunctional characters interact with each other, and the insuring butterfly effect keeps you at the edge of your seat as the characters get thrown from one extreme to another. From reciting poetry to dispatching bodies.
Profile Image for Moloch.
507 reviews741 followers
September 19, 2015
Questo libro è un "reduce" di anni e anni (e anni) di permanenza nella mia wishlist, superstite di un periodo in cui romanzi pulp "alla Lansdale", con situazioni impreviste e assurde, personaggi bislacchi, dialoghi paradossali, tanto sesso e tanta violenza, mi piacevano molto. Ora, non più tanto. Probabilmente ha fatto il suo tempo (per quanto mi riguarda).

Tutto comincia con un poeta, ovviamente in crisi creativa, professore a contratto di poesia (?) presso un'università di provincia americana, che si porta a letto una studentessa; quella la mattina dopo non si sveglia più, uccisa da un'overdose. Preso dal panico, invece di fare la cosa sensata il protagonista la seppellisce senza dire nulla. La cosa naturalmente innesca un meccanismo imprevedibile che non tento nemmeno di riassumere e rischierà di travolgerlo: c'è un potente boss un po' strano e appassionato di poesia, un'altra studentessa scaltra, un delinquentello che approfitta di uno scambio di persona per rifarsi una vita come promettente studente e aspirante poeta, un trafficante di droga sulle sue tracce, un detective privato violento, colleghi bislacchi con varie fisime. Insomma, tutto un cast "variopinto" che, tutto sommato, mette su il solito spettacolo. È vero che l'ambientazione inusuale (una fittizia università americana, il dipartimento di letteratura inglese, non proprio il posto che ci si aspetta per una storia piena di azione) fornisce almeno un pizzico di originalità in più, qualche gradevole spunto di satira (comunque poco convinto e non ben sfruttato), ma nel complesso è stata una lettura mediocre, che ha visto il mio interesse calare fin quasi da subito. L'intrecciarsi in modo imprevedibile dei vari fili della trama e il convergere dei personaggi in un unico posto fino all'esplosivo showdown finale doveva, in teoria, risultare avvincente. La dura realtà invece è che non me ne poteva fregare di meno di nessuno di loro, a cominciare da quell'idiota del protagonista. Dal 50% in poi del libro è iniziata una sequenza più o meno regolare di una scazzottata e/o sparatoria a capitolo, in cui gran parte dei personaggi era impegnata a turno, cosa alla lunga esasperante.

Esattamente lo stesso destino sfortunato dell'altro romanzo dello stesso autore, The Deputy (mi accorgo che la mia recensione di allora ha un esordio quasi identico a questa), comunque di gran lunga meglio di questo. In conclusione, questo libro probabilmente fa tutto "secondo le regole" e non sarà neanche malvagio nel suo genere, il problema è che il genere a me non dice più nulla.

1,5/5
Profile Image for James Buckley.
76 reviews3 followers
September 8, 2024
Itinerant (and slightly lecherous) English professor Jay Morgan is teaching at a small backwater college in university when he finds a dead grad student in his bed. This is the first in a chain of darkly comedic and occasionally brutal chain of events that would not have been out of place in a ‘90s Tarantino flick. An oddball cast of characters, including feuding professors, a sleazy private eye, a former drug dealer trying to escape his past life of crime, a Pulitzer-winning poet who hides out in abandoned dorms, and a mysterious elderly gent with poems of his own all crash together into an immensely enjoyable novel. I will be reading more Gischler in the near future, I assure you!
Profile Image for M.T. Bass.
Author 29 books390 followers
March 28, 2017
I've got kind of a rule never to read novels set in academia where the main character is a writer as I've found most have a "hothouse fiction" flavor to them. But rules are made to be broken and I made an exception with The Pistol Poets. Alas, I almost didn't make it past the first chapter. A quick search of Google maps would have shown Victor that East St. Louis is in Illinois, not Missouri. Other distractions included "automatic" pistols, clips and cordite, making this seem more a poorly researched MFA project with potential than prime time fiction.
Profile Image for Kenya Wright.
Author 116 books2,452 followers
Read
August 5, 2019
I love Gischler's Gun Monkey, so I was so hyped that this would be set in academia. . .but then all the "niggers" came through. . .
nigger this and nigger that. . .
niggers running...
niggers grabbing bags...
nigger walking down the street. . .
Tough niggers
and
weak niggers. . .

Did he not want to say black people or dude or motherfucker or guy. . .

niggers don't say nigger that much. :-(

It was written in 2005, but still. . .I had to DNF, too many niggers always mess up a book. . .
44 reviews
February 15, 2018
Pistol Poets was good, but not as good as Gischler's Gun Monkeys. It's set at a college and features an English department, which I suspect was inspired by his "day job", which isn't a bad thing, but seemed a little trite and cliched. Still, it was an enjoyable read, with fun characters and enough action to keep me interested. A nice twist on "modern noir pulp".
May 9, 2020
Letto d'un fiato. Praticamente pronto per trasformarsi in una sceneggiatura di Tarantino. Magari i personaggi non sono proprio memorabili, ma la storia è avvincente e ti trascina dall'inizio alla fine.
2,530 reviews9 followers
August 5, 2014
A wickedly entertaining and at times funny novel, this is sort of an American equivalent of Trainspotting set in the world of a college campus.
When Harold Jenks and his friend Spoon do a hold up in an alley that goes wrong, Jenks thinks he can take over the victim's life and attend college and maybe make something of himself and escape the street lifestyle but he doesn't bargain on so many obstacles in his way, namely his boss Red Zach, getting caught up in murder, drug busts and many other complications along the way.
The main story is offset by a whole host of other characters zany situations, there is Jay Morgan who has slept with a college girl who overdosed on drugs and drink and wound up dead in his bed, enter another girl with a penchant for college professors and a hint of danger who helps him to hide the body, then there is Stubbs on the trail of Annie Walsh the murdered girl.
So begins a crazy and frantic tale of mistaken identity, car chases, detectives, sex, drug heists, hiding out in disused classrooms with crazy AWOL college professors and murder.
There are so many threads to this story that though they all come together in the end its the kind of novel that is so fast paced that you have to read it to believe it.
So many twists and turns its hard to keep up.
Exciting, well written and a modern day legend this novel is a one sitting feast if you have the time and is a lot better than the blurb on the back leads you to believe.
A wonderful read.
Profile Image for Erik Dewey.
Author 10 books7 followers
March 15, 2016
So, who do you root for when everyone is morally bankrupt? I guess the least bankrupt guy. That was the dilemma I faced while reading the Pistol Poets. What I was hoping for was one of those books where different groups of interesting people converge at the climax of the book and somehow it all works out for a few of them. Luckily, I got that.

Living in Green Country Oklahoma, where the book is set, does make me more likely to enjoy the book and the wackiness of the small town university life that is portrayed there was fun and the plot threads that flowed through the book were good.

Really, the biggest issue I had with the book were the casualness that death was treated, even by the police. Multiple dead students would surely generate some kind of attention, right?

I tend to like my heroes a little more heroic than the protagonist in the Pistol Poets, but that isn't the fault of the book since it was right up front the kind of book it would be. A decent read and I'm interested in other books by Gischler.
September 14, 2016
Il libro è molto scorrevole. Ho trovato la presentazione dei personaggi forse un po' troppo confusionaria, fino a circa metà faticavo ancora ad inquadrare i vari protagonisti. La storia si svolge quasi completamene alla Estern Oklahoma University, narrando la storia di Jay Morgan, un professore con ormai poche aspirazioni ed una carriera già quasi al tramonto. Le sue vicende finiranno per mischiarsi a quelle di Harold Jenks, ragazzo nero proveniente da un quartiere malfamato dove sparatorie e spaccio sono all'ordine del giorno Fino a che un'occasione, probabilmente l'ultimo treno, gli si presenterà davanti per poter raddrizzare la sua vita. I due protagonisti si ritroveranno presto a pagare il conto delle loro scelte. Un uragano si abbaterà sulle loro esistenze, trascinando anche le persone a loro vicine. Il racconto è come una strada in discesa, più si avanza più diventa veloce e frenetica l'azione, culmiando in un finale degno dei migliori film pulp.
Profile Image for Rob Kitchin.
Author 52 books103 followers
June 23, 2012
The Pistol Poets is a screwball noir with a healthy dose of mayhem and madness. As with all books in this sub-genre, plausibility is thin on the ground, but that’s hardly the point. Instead, the plot skates the edges of credibility with a series of twists and turns, double-crosses, dead ends, and violent clashes, acted out with a weird and wonderful set of characters who are all slightly larger than life or are kooky in some way. Moreover, the book is written in nice, tight, expressive prose, with a plot that is well choreographed. I was hooked from pretty much the first page and they then flipped over at a steady pace. It would have been quite easy for the various intersecting subplots to drift away into a bit of a mess, but Gischler has a firm hand on the tiller and keeps the whole thing together until the last page. A very enjoyable bit of escapist noir.
Author 3 books4 followers
September 15, 2015
Gischler's first novel, 'Gun Monkeys' had consistently vivid characters and a plot that reads like a lit fuse. 'Pistol Poets', his second is an odd disjointed novel, set in an Oklahoma college and mixes, ineffectively, a feckless itinerant teacher of poetry, a young black drug dealer who assumes the identity of a poetry student, several drug bosses, a sleezy private investigator and a handful of meaningless background characters.

There are sufficient bright spots to keep reading - Gischler is a fine writer with an eye for the oddball detail - but it leads to an ending that just fizzles out.

Move on to the next book. And know that by his latest - 'Stay' - Gischler is at the top of his form.
Profile Image for Josh.
88 reviews6 followers
May 2, 2008
Picked it up in a hostel because it wasn't in German, or one of the MANY pulp soldier of fortune novels.

The first third was pretty funny, about a poetry professor who wakes up with a dead student in his bead, and an ex-mafia don that gets rid of the body so that the professor will edit his poetry.

But then once the drug deal goes wrong it just degrades into standard shoot em up snoozcore, the kind that there's way too much of already and isn't particualy interesting for any reason.

Still, if you're ever at Rocking J's in Peurto Viejo Costa Rica, this is probably one of your best choices. Unless you're German.
Profile Image for Jas N.
38 reviews1 follower
February 9, 2015
I grabbed this book when I was deep in the midst of a crime novel binge. It was a very interesting contrast to the Chandler, LaSalle and Hammett books I'd been reading. The characters hold some twisted motivations and some of the more macabre elements seem to not phase them. It was a terrific change of pace to read a contemporary novel with some obvious influence of great past works that wasn't overburdened with "wink, wink" references. Good book from a great writer. Well worth the time. Noir without being shackled by the demands of the genre. I also liked the academic connection of the school, made for a nice addition to the flavor of the characters.
Profile Image for Ken.
350 reviews8 followers
February 25, 2008
This is Victor Gischler's second book, and it follows a graduate student as he enrolls at a university in Eastern Oklahoma. You might be saying to yourself--didn't Ken work with Victor at such a place--and I know what you're thinking. But we were located in Northeastern Oklahoma. And we didn't have a graduate program. And our dean did not wear women's underpants.
Profile Image for James Hill.
620 reviews5 followers
August 20, 2014
from James:

If you like Elmore Leonard, Gischler will satisfy you. Slightly more rough-edged perhaps and a less developed plot (really just a comedy of errors), but I enjoyed it. I laughed out loud a couple of times. It's a quick story and exactly the type of distraction reading I was looking for.
Profile Image for Suzyn.
191 reviews40 followers
August 25, 2016
Fast pacing kept me reading, but mediocre characterization made for an ultimately unsatisfying read. Also, the body count is VERY high and often pointlessly so. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good. At the same time, I'm not a great audience for comic novels so if you like them, you might like it more that I did.
28 reviews1 follower
July 21, 2009
Read Gischler's "Go Go Girls" and thought I would go back and read some of his older stuff. The book starts off slow and never really picks up from there. The mix of gritty urban life and small college town just never really clicked for me. Somewhat predictable. Not his best effort.
Profile Image for Shullamuth Ballinger.
Author 4 books3 followers
February 3, 2010
This could have been a good book. The premise was fun, the characters interesting, the first 40 pages rocked and rolled, but then the characters never developed further and became less interesting and more devices of plot. By the time I got to the end, I didn't care anymore.
Profile Image for Neil.
658 reviews3 followers
January 2, 2014
Poets as gangsters? Gangsters as poets? Stolen coke, dead co-eds and racists? I have to hope that there's a new sub-sub genre out there: The Southeastern Oklahoma Wacko Genre. If you like Hiaasen, Barry or Dorsey, take a drive out to the plains and give this a try.
Profile Image for Ben Hathaway.
114 reviews8 followers
May 31, 2016
Cliche ridden, relatively predictable but enjoyable. Would probably work well as an HBO mini-series staring Channing Tatum

I think if I'd read this when I was 13 years old I'd proclaim it "really great" alas I'm not 13, and potentially never will be again. Who knows.
Profile Image for Rick.
34 reviews7 followers
April 19, 2009
This book was great. Lot's of action, funny, kind of like Pulp Fiction
Profile Image for David.
Author 26 books179 followers
September 6, 2010
Wasn't a bad book, the territory was well-ploughed...but for all that it was okay. Worth a look if you don't have anything to do on a rainy afternoon. Some great action scenes.
271 reviews1 follower
January 13, 2013
2013 book 10.

Murder, mayhem, and debauchery in the English department. Wait, did I just write that?
1,756 reviews17 followers
November 26, 2010
Although the characters were not likeable, moral or even well-intentioned, the book was a lot of fun.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.