What do you think?
Rate this book
Men and Manners: Essays, Advice, and Considerations
We all agree that manners today are not what they should be. Though the rules of civility have changed as the world has, David Coggins believes in the enduring importance of manners and a generous temperament even in the age of the iPhone. This timely book doesn’t tell you which fork to use or how to tie a bow tie. Rather, it reminds you of basic, respectful guidelines you may have forgotten or chosen to ignore. With essays, interviews and expert insight, Coggins makes the case for being the modern man who tips well, offers his seat, picks up the tab and who remembers to do what’s right even if it isn’t always rewarded.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
192 pages, Hardcover
Published May 15, 2018
About the author
David Coggins
4 books51 followersDavid Coggins is the author of "The Believer: A Year in the Fly Fishing Life" (Scribner). His previous books include "The Optimist," "Men and Manners" and the NY Times best-seller "Men and Style" (Abrams). He writes The Contender, a newsletter about style, travel and design. His work appears in numerous publications, including Esquire, the Financial Times magazine and Robb Report. He lives in New York.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
June 14, 2018
I think this is the third "men's manners" book I have read that begins with the qualifier, "This is not going to be one of those fusty books that tells you what forks to use . . . ."
"Men and Manners" is being carried at several stores I frequent, so I thought it might have some new, fresh insights. Most of the "essays, advice, and considerations" are recapitulations of common sense ways to comport yourself in public. Coggins does devote more time to manners while traveling than I have seen in other guides, so it does have that distinguishing feature. For the most part, though, "Men and Manners" simply points out everyday conduct that is rude or off putting that should be avoided.
If you have not recently read a guidebook on etiquette for the modern man, this will do nicely. If you own such a book or have read one in the past two years, I anticipate that "Men and Manners" will not fill a big void in your understanding of modern social mores.
"Men and Manners" is being carried at several stores I frequent, so I thought it might have some new, fresh insights. Most of the "essays, advice, and considerations" are recapitulations of common sense ways to comport yourself in public. Coggins does devote more time to manners while traveling than I have seen in other guides, so it does have that distinguishing feature. For the most part, though, "Men and Manners" simply points out everyday conduct that is rude or off putting that should be avoided.
If you have not recently read a guidebook on etiquette for the modern man, this will do nicely. If you own such a book or have read one in the past two years, I anticipate that "Men and Manners" will not fill a big void in your understanding of modern social mores.
August 16, 2021
I've always considered manners to be more of a learned disposition than a memorization of strict rules, and I was glad to see that David Coggins agrees (accept for square-toed shoes, never wear square-toed shoes). While much of what he lays out seems common sense to me, the book did help me go a little deeper, a little more thoughtful into various social situations, and for that I am thankful.
June 8, 2018
Clever, witty, and insightful.....just as we have come to expect from Mr. Coggins
August 4, 2018
Pretty basic and bland content in this one. His previous book had much richer stories and topics. Very dry
August 16, 2018
More of the social manners in general, which are mostly traditiional and applicable to western society ... some of those old school kinds may not be practise for young generations nowadays.
March 27, 2019
I checked the cover twice to see if this is a parody. It is not.
May 9, 2020
I think I'm not the only woman to read this title and feel like I should recommend it to a man or young man I know. And I liked the colored pages.
September 22, 2020
Great reminders, easily delivered for those who wish to be initiated in their daily social practices and experience. This book would greatly compliment King, Warrior, Magician. would recommend.
January 16, 2021
A good, short read. Nothing groundbreaking, but good reminders. Glad to have it in my library for my boys to read one day.
September 6, 2023
To summarize this book: Spend as much money on and for others as you can. Don't do anything you would have done in college.
April 23, 2024
Small book with good and direct suggestions.
June 8, 2022
I'm a huge fan of David Coggins- he both writes well and seems to have a worldview I can get behind.
His being an avid fly-fisherman also doesn't hurt my estimation of him as a human being. While a lot of the content of this book is simply "don't be stupid" stuff to those of us with common sense (and/or a sense of common decency) I think it's absolutely worthwhile to codify what it means to be a gentleman and to live graciously in an otherwise graceless age. This is a book I will keep and will delve back into from time to time.
His being an avid fly-fisherman also doesn't hurt my estimation of him as a human being. While a lot of the content of this book is simply "don't be stupid" stuff to those of us with common sense (and/or a sense of common decency) I think it's absolutely worthwhile to codify what it means to be a gentleman and to live graciously in an otherwise graceless age. This is a book I will keep and will delve back into from time to time.
August 17, 2018
Excellent book.
A must for not just the would be lady or gentleman, but anyone who would consider themselves human, for civility and reason are what separates us from the beasts of the world.
A must for not just the would be lady or gentleman, but anyone who would consider themselves human, for civility and reason are what separates us from the beasts of the world.
January 25, 2020
Fantastic
Required reading for any and every man. Doesn’t matter if you are a landscaper from Cleveland or a CEO, good advice all.
Required reading for any and every man. Doesn’t matter if you are a landscaper from Cleveland or a CEO, good advice all.
May 20, 2018
***THIS BOOK WAS RECEIVED FROM A GOODREADS GIVEAWAY***
In a world becoming increasingly modern and digital, it’s a little odd to find a book like Men and Manners, especially since its weird page colors make it seem like it was written in the 1950’s. While this book did have some pieces of advice, it seemed to be as specifically tailored (like a high-end tuxedo) to Manhattan, New York, instead of being general advice for men in Manhattan, Kansas. Many of the locations and businesses explicitly mentioned in this book were complete mysteries to me since I don’t live in New York City. These references made it seem like the manners advice wasn’t relevant to me at all.
While I would have appreciated more thorough explanations of why particular manners should exist, this book seemed to be mostly filled with anecdotes from east coast elites about their opinion on certain matters. Sure, some of the people who provided their views were experts in their fields, but it would be better for the target audience (which I’m assuming is young men) to have an explanation as to why your shoe color should match your belt color. From my viewpoint, this book seemed like a lot of young Baby Boomers / older Gen-X-ers subtly complaining about Millennials and their habits/trends.
Despite the apparent bias on the part of the writer(s), this book did contain many pieces of useful advice, even if a lot of it—if not most of it—boiled down to common sense and common decency. Another aspect I seemed to notice with this book is that it is also aimed at the moderately wealthy, especially considering all the expensive hotels, restaurants, and businesses mentioned. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at a hotel with a doorman. Consequently, it seems that manners are only available to the rich when it’s the less-wealthy among us that often need the gentle nudging toward good manners.
A primer for young men living in New York City, I give Men and Manners 3.0 stars out of 5.
For more reviews of books and movies like this, please visit www.benjamin-m-weilert.com
In a world becoming increasingly modern and digital, it’s a little odd to find a book like Men and Manners, especially since its weird page colors make it seem like it was written in the 1950’s. While this book did have some pieces of advice, it seemed to be as specifically tailored (like a high-end tuxedo) to Manhattan, New York, instead of being general advice for men in Manhattan, Kansas. Many of the locations and businesses explicitly mentioned in this book were complete mysteries to me since I don’t live in New York City. These references made it seem like the manners advice wasn’t relevant to me at all.
While I would have appreciated more thorough explanations of why particular manners should exist, this book seemed to be mostly filled with anecdotes from east coast elites about their opinion on certain matters. Sure, some of the people who provided their views were experts in their fields, but it would be better for the target audience (which I’m assuming is young men) to have an explanation as to why your shoe color should match your belt color. From my viewpoint, this book seemed like a lot of young Baby Boomers / older Gen-X-ers subtly complaining about Millennials and their habits/trends.
Despite the apparent bias on the part of the writer(s), this book did contain many pieces of useful advice, even if a lot of it—if not most of it—boiled down to common sense and common decency. Another aspect I seemed to notice with this book is that it is also aimed at the moderately wealthy, especially considering all the expensive hotels, restaurants, and businesses mentioned. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at a hotel with a doorman. Consequently, it seems that manners are only available to the rich when it’s the less-wealthy among us that often need the gentle nudging toward good manners.
A primer for young men living in New York City, I give Men and Manners 3.0 stars out of 5.
For more reviews of books and movies like this, please visit www.benjamin-m-weilert.com
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews