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The New Adventures of Socrates: an extravagance
Plato's dialogues, updated for the age of social media and short attention spans. Socrates hangs out with his old gang - Plato, Glaucon, Thrasymachus and the rest - but also meets new characters including Madonna, George W. Bush, Richard Dawkins, Hamlet and an extremely well-meaning robot.
Don't count on it teaching you any philosophy, but it might make you laugh if you have a sufficiently warped sense of humor.
Don't count on it teaching you any philosophy, but it might make you laugh if you have a sufficiently warped sense of humor.
182 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2017
About the author
Manny Rayner
36 books15.2k followersMany people have been protesting against what they describe as censorship on Goodreads. I disagree. In fact, I would like to say that I welcome the efforts that Goodreads management is making to improve the deplorably low quality of reviewing on this site.
Please, though, just give me clearer guidelines. I want to know how to use my writing to optimize Amazon sales, especially those of sensitive self-published authors. This is a matter of vital importance to me, and outweighs any possible considerations of making my reviews interesting, truthful, creative or entertaining.
Thank you.
Please, though, just give me clearer guidelines. I want to know how to use my writing to optimize Amazon sales, especially those of sensitive self-published authors. This is a matter of vital importance to me, and outweighs any possible considerations of making my reviews interesting, truthful, creative or entertaining.
Thank you.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
November 5, 2021
Praise for The New Adventures of Socrates
"Oh god. Not again." - Warwick
"Leibnitz vomits, Kant faints." - Roy L
"So who is this Manny Rayner then? He’s the new Plato? I bet he couldn’t philosophise his way out of a paper bag if it was open at both ends." - Paul B
"Does The New Adventures of Socrates teach you ... Utilitarianism ... or ... Epicureanism ... or ... Stoicism ... ? Nope." - Manuel
"... false and bad and useless ..." - Matt
"Having read Manny’s ... book ... I feel ... no ... interest in Plato or Socrates." - MJ
"... flounders from beginning to end and admits ... he doesn’t really have a clue about the subjects covered." - Glenn R
"I can honestly say this book was worth every one of the zero pence I spent on it." - Cecily
"... shouldn't be taken seriously ..." - Fionnuala
"... prompted this ... reader ... to ... doze off for a few hours." - Zoheb
"Enough to cause a person to give up thinking" - Alfred H
"Stick with the originals ... you will learn far more." - John W
"Burn the darned book!" - Nandakishore
"Perverted, sick, and disgusting." - AutoRayner
"No vampires, no sex." - Sookie
"Ugggh." - notgettingenough
"Trump is never once mentioned." - Carol
_________________________
I submitted the manuscript for The New Adventures of Socrates to a prominent academic publisher; a couple of weeks later I received a curt note from the relevant editor, a moderately well-known philosopher, saying that the book was in all respects entirely unsuitable for publication. On the other hand, several Goodreaders, possessed, no doubt, of the deplorable lack of taste that so characterises this site, told me that some of the extracts I'd posted had made them laugh hysterically. It was hard to weigh up these competing factors, but after mature consideration - since the age of twelve, I have considered that maturity is one of my best features - I decided what the hell, I would publish it anyway.
The result, dear friends, you see before you. In the interests of full disclosure, I reluctantly admit that the philosophy editor was right. Rather than buying this travesty, you should read Plato's actual dialogues, if at all possible in the original Greek. But if you're too lazy to do that, or you just want a few cheap metaphysical thrills, then I suppose it's better than nothing. There. You can't say you weren't warned.
"Oh god. Not again." - Warwick
"Leibnitz vomits, Kant faints." - Roy L
"So who is this Manny Rayner then? He’s the new Plato? I bet he couldn’t philosophise his way out of a paper bag if it was open at both ends." - Paul B
"Does The New Adventures of Socrates teach you ... Utilitarianism ... or ... Epicureanism ... or ... Stoicism ... ? Nope." - Manuel
"... false and bad and useless ..." - Matt
"Having read Manny’s ... book ... I feel ... no ... interest in Plato or Socrates." - MJ
"... flounders from beginning to end and admits ... he doesn’t really have a clue about the subjects covered." - Glenn R
"I can honestly say this book was worth every one of the zero pence I spent on it." - Cecily
"... shouldn't be taken seriously ..." - Fionnuala
"... prompted this ... reader ... to ... doze off for a few hours." - Zoheb
"Enough to cause a person to give up thinking" - Alfred H
"Stick with the originals ... you will learn far more." - John W
"Burn the darned book!" - Nandakishore
"Perverted, sick, and disgusting." - AutoRayner
"No vampires, no sex." - Sookie
"Ugggh." - notgettingenough
"Trump is never once mentioned." - Carol
_________________________
I submitted the manuscript for The New Adventures of Socrates to a prominent academic publisher; a couple of weeks later I received a curt note from the relevant editor, a moderately well-known philosopher, saying that the book was in all respects entirely unsuitable for publication. On the other hand, several Goodreaders, possessed, no doubt, of the deplorable lack of taste that so characterises this site, told me that some of the extracts I'd posted had made them laugh hysterically. It was hard to weigh up these competing factors, but after mature consideration - since the age of twelve, I have considered that maturity is one of my best features - I decided what the hell, I would publish it anyway.
The result, dear friends, you see before you. In the interests of full disclosure, I reluctantly admit that the philosophy editor was right. Rather than buying this travesty, you should read Plato's actual dialogues, if at all possible in the original Greek. But if you're too lazy to do that, or you just want a few cheap metaphysical thrills, then I suppose it's better than nothing. There. You can't say you weren't warned.
December 17, 2017
12/18/17 Updated review: I need to retract the bit below about Trump. I cannot specifically say how the author feels about Trump, as Trump is never once mentioned in the Stupendous Adventure of Big Idea Man Socrates. I am merely speculating, I am sure.
The author is awesome, loves free speech, and hates Trump. What more can I say? It doesn't matter what words he writes because I know they will be erudite.
Oh, right--this review is entirely off topic.
P.S. The author also plays a wicked game of chess.
The author is awesome, loves free speech, and hates Trump. What more can I say? It doesn't matter what words he writes because I know they will be erudite.
Oh, right--this review is entirely off topic.
P.S. The author also plays a wicked game of chess.
April 15, 2018
“A little over my head, but people who know about these things tell me it’s wonderful.”
Critias to Socrates about Timaeus’s book - or me about this?
How This Book Got Read and Reviewed
I came, I read, and I more-or-less conquered. (Yes, wrong classical culture, but anachronisms are part of the fun.)
Note: The book is funny and clever. This review is a conceit that merely attempts to be. Buy the book.
Socrates Sells Out?!
What are these Dialogues?
[Plateía Albert market at the east end of Athens, where SOCRATES has a stall and CECILY is browsing]
SOCRATES: Roll up, roll up. Learn philosophy in less time than Trump takes between rounds of golf. Get yours ‘ere.
CECILY: But isn’t philosophy meant to be difficult - and isn’t the effort required part of what makes it worthwhile?
SOCRATES: That’s a beautiful, true, and virtuous point. But with these knock-offs, you don’t need to be an academic classicist to read, enjoy, and learn. Bargain at only six drachma. Nah, make it five.
CECILY [picking up a copy]: I’m confused: are these your dialogues, Plato’s, or Manny’s?
SOCRATES: They’ll be yours if you buy ‘em, luv. I’ll do ‘alf price, just for you. Beautiful jacket you’re wearing.
CECILY: The jacket don't enter into it - or this dialogue. And you haven’t answered my question.
SOCRATES: I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition…
CECILY: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
SOCRATES: Sorry. I’m more used to asking the questions, see? That’s ‘ow these work. My pupil, Plato, wrote imagined dialogues featuring me. It shows philosophical banter in an accessible and amusing way. Later philosophers ripped off his idea. And now Manny ‘as as well.
CECILY: So who is this Manny* ? Is he another of your pupils?
SOCRATES: Nah, not in the traditional sense. He’s an educated enthusiast who downplays his own credentials, explains his intent to entertain, and adds that he’d be thrilled if the book prompts anyone to read Plato for themselves. Of course, I’d rather people read ME.
CECILY: I’ve not read you or Plato. I’m not sure I want to.
SOCRATES: Yer alright. It’s not a prerequisite. That Manny’s quite a clever geezer. And he’d be chuffed if a few readers go back to us old originals after reading his version.
SOCRATES: Anyway, hurry up. I’ve got a football match to get to. You know what Germans are like about punctuality, and as captain of the Greek team, I can’t be late.
SOCRATES: My last offer: you can have a copy for four drachma.
CECILY: I’m afraid I’ve only got Euros.
SOCRATES [snatching the cash, and handing over a book]: That’ll do nicely. There ya go.
But Seriously...
I feel as if my IQ has gone up a notch or two, and I certainly learned a great deal. Quite how much use it all is is another matter!
• Plato doesn’t put himself in his dialogues; all but one feature his teacher, Socrates.
• Don’t trust poets.
• People are often ruled by their erotic impulses. (OK, I already knew that one.)
• You can’t get away from the paedophilia that was accepted back then, but at least Plato doesn’t seem to approve.
• Plato had no respect for sophists.
• Plato was thousands of years ahead of his time in considering sign language a real language, worthy of etymological study.
• Memory** can be conceptualised as a wax tablet, or, more creatively, an aviary. It gradually fills up with birds, individually and in groups, but the birds can be hard to catch (the difference between having and possessing).
• Plato’s science was poor because he insisted on basing everything on abstract reasoning, rather than observable evidence.
• The possibility of falsehood was controversial among theoretical philosophers. Either that, or Plato was being ironic, and having another dig at base and dishonest sophists.
• We think we know what courage is until we try to define it. Often, is hard to distinguish from wisdom. Hmm. I agree with the former, but am not so sure about the latter.
• It was easier for Asimov to define three rules of robotics than to define virtue in a similar way.
• The mind is like a country, and good government leads to good mental health. Virtue all round.
• Government is also like weaving: it needs to be comfortable and strong and enduring.
• Plato was not a fan of democracy, which he thought inevitably descended into kakistocracy. He preferred a Philosopher King.
• The New Testament has much in common with Republic book 10 - as demonstrated by a reworking of Monty Python’s Dead Parrot sketch.
• Avoid partisan divisions by having people marry those with opposing beliefs. (This one is illustrated by a stitch and bitch session, not Romeo and Juliet.)
• Socrates, like the journalists of Charlie Hebdo, was prepared to die, rather than lose his right to free speech, his right to offend.
• Socrates also believed in the immortality of the soul (so maybe death wasn’t so scary).
There’s More
The sections above are a poor imitation of the dialogues in the book. The remainder of this review comprises my additional notes.
Each dialogue has a modern title, reflecting new characters and genre (stars of page, stage, and screen), with the original as a subtitle, so you can easily Google it. Then each ends with a clear explanation of its key points, titled “But seriously…”. Fun, then educational.
The dialogues are in three groups: Beauty, Truth, and Virtue. Virtue is much the largest section, and a recurring question is why people are virtuous, or whether they merely appear to be virtuous, and that is sufficient? If you’re not caught, and there are no adverse consequences, is that ethically fine?
For example, Charmides, who was handsome, hedonistic, and popular, is reimagined meeting Oscar Wilde. There’s a pastiche of a TED talk, a chocolate factory, Twitter tactics, Madonna discussing chess, a meeting with Hamlet, and a daytime talk show, all involving numerous celebrities, real and fictional. (Godwin’s law ensures Hitler gets a mention.) It’s too clever and effective to be labelled gimmicky.
You also get an epilogue, a few cartoon illustrations, and two, yes, two excellent and comprehensive indexes (or, if you prefer, indices). ;)
Quotes and Questions
• “Arguments are to be avoided, my dear Socrates; they are always vulgar and often convincing.” (Not the actual Oscar Wilde, obvs.)
• “Knowledge is a kind of opinion, and we can tell some kinds of opinion are better than others because they are better at predicting the future.”
• “Evil is merely ignorance of the good, isn’t it?”
• “Pleasure is not an end in itself, only something that serves a purpose.” So pleasure must be mixed with wisdom. But in addition, “Physical pleasure is always mixed with pain.”
• “If you’re famous enough… your fans will read literally anything you can be bothered to write and then diligently pass it on to future generations.” (Manny’s observation on Critias: fifteen pages rambling about Atlantis that, like Kafka’s The Castle, stops mid-sentence.)
* Manny Rayner
This is a niche variant of Manny’s previous collections (see my reviews of What Pooh Might Have Said to Dante..., HERE, and If Research Were Romance..., HERE).
The first dialogue invokes Harry Potter, which is brave, given Manny’s longstanding defence of his 2* rating of the series on GR (see the spoiler in his review of the boxset, along with ~500 comments If Research Were Romance..., HERE).
Manny puts himself (apologetically) in the penultimate dialogue, but modestly omits himself from the index - the sole “error” I can find.
Recursion
This book was born of GR, and three separate dialogs discuss it. The first explores the tactics and personal costs/benefits of reviewing and like-harvesting there, while striving to stay within an ethical framework. The second tackles the cliché of not judging a book by its cover, or even its popularity. Instead, judge by the improvement it endows, rather than raw pleasure (spoiler alert: this book scores on both counts). And the third returns to the recipe for a good and popular review, rather as Plato explored the formula of good governance.
More Connections
My geeky physicist child with a serious interest in linguistics and classical culture gave me this for Mothering Sunday: a book by an older geeky physicist with a professional interest in linguistics and knowledge of classical culture (and almost everything else). Neat.
** That same child had a different theory of memory from Plato’s wax or birds. As a preschooler, they explained trying to remember something as being like looking through a box of their paintings: often it was easy to find, though a few pictures got mixed up, damaged, or lost. But if found, sometimes damaged ones could be repainted and put back in the right place.
July 13, 2018
With The New Adventures of Socrates - An Extravagance, Manny Rayer lights a fire for bold seekers of Beauty, Truth and Virture by reinvigorating Plato's dialogues with interlocutors such as Isaac Asimov, Kurt Gödel, Richard Dawkins, John Cleese, Willy Wonka, Madonna and George W. Bush.
Here's the framework: each chapter offers a snatch of reworked Platonic dialogue hitting a theme or two or three featuring a number of those new interlocutors - Bertrand Russell, Hugh Hefner, David Hume and other well-knowns. Then Manny steps back and shares a quick “But seriously” paragraph, observing how we as readers might question the line of reasoning presented in the dialogue. Twenty-two of Plato's dialogues are handled thusly within three main branches of Western Philosophy: 1) Beauty: Ion, Charmides, Lysis, Phaedrus, The Symposium 2) Truth: Euthydemus, Cratylus, Theaetetus, Timaeus, Critias, Parmenides, Sophist 3) Virtue: Laches, Protagoras, Meno, Euthyphro, Gorgias, The Republic, Philebus, Statesman, Apology, Laws. Also sprinkled throughout the pages are a batch of amusing illustrations created by a first-rate artist who has chosen to remain anonymous. Drats! I wish I had this insightful little book back when I was in college studying philosophy. Such a perfect resource to accompany Plato's actual words.
Turning to the individual dialogues, let’s take a look at Ion, the first of Plato's works covered in the book. Here we have a short piece where Socrates probes the nature of the arts by asking a reciter of Homer if his skill derives from sound knowledge based on reason or if it is more a matter of divine possession. The young rhapsode flounders from beginning to end and admits to Socrates he doesn’t really have a clue about the subjects covered by Homer and his love of the poet is a kind of madness.
Manny’s Ion is round two where the rhapsode revisits the subject after speaking with an expert of the novels written by J. K. Rowling. He tells Socrates his knowledge of Homer, like his friend’s knowledge of Harry Potter, is within the realm of fiction and has nothing to do with the actual nuts-and-bolts of things like shipbuilding or weaponry or battle strategy, topics contained within Homer’s poetry.
Manny expands on this point, how Plato’s position in the short dialogue speaks of his general distrust of poets and artists since the foundation of their knowledge refuses to be boiled down into clear categories of logic and reason. Thus, as elaborated in both the Republic and Laws, Plato wants the arts, especially things like poetry and tragedy, to be tightly controlled. Considering, for example, all the ultra-violent films churned out in an ultra-violent country like the United States, questions of control and censorship of the arts are as alive today as they were back in ancient Greece.
With The Symposium (translated into English as the drinking party), we are treated to an Oprah show when she invites Socrates and Jesus along with five panelists to vote on the most spiritual book of all time, either Plato’s famous dialogue or The Sermon on the Mount. Among the panelists are Paul McCartney (All You Need is Love), Richard Dawkins (love is the concrete expression of a negative feedback loop) and Sarah Palin making about as much sense a Sarah usually makes. As per Manny:
“PALIN: Well Oprah. I’m afraid I’m not as imaginative as Richard. I’m just a regular small-town girl with regular small town values, and I was brought up readin’ the Sermon on the Mount. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, blessed are ye when men shall revile, you, smaller government, lower taxes, support Israel, no to-
OPRAH: Is that all in the Sermon on the Mount, Sarah?
PALIN: Maybe not in those exact words. But it’s there. And you can bet your boots I’m not votin’ for a liberal type who hangs around with a bunch of guys what’re openly tryin’ to get into his--"
Manny’s version follows the same format as The Symposium, different participants sit around and share their views on the nature of love, but alas, those ancient Greeks didn’t have the advantage of someone like Sarah Palin since, as a first step to serious philosophizing, they sent all the women off to play flutes. Incidentally, I see absolutely no common ground between Sarah's piffling poopstickery and Diotima's graceful observations on the nature of love.
As Manny points out, Timaeus was the most influential of Plato’s texts all through the medieval period. Unlike other Platonic dialogues where Socrates interrupts speakers to ask questions, Timaeus is, in effect, an extended lecture by the mathematician Timaeus on the structure of the universe. Perhaps predictably, since Timaeus based his knowledge not on scientific observation (information from our senses is unreliable) but on abstract reasoning, nearly everything he says has turned out to be wrong.
But have no fear – in Manny’s reworked dialogue the ancient mathematician presents the updated, second edition of his mapping out the structure of the universe after conversing with experts in the philosophy of science. Timaeus appears on TED talk with none other than Leonard Susskind, a prominent American physicist at the forefront of string theory. Now Timaeus, still confident in the superiority of abstract reasoning over the examination of actual physical evidence, maintains perfection is not to be found in the sphere as he once thought, but in “Nothing.” He goes on to cite how Leonard Susskind and other string theorists agree the eye of the mind has it all over the messy evidence of the senses. Do you sense a little Manny Rayner irony here?
Manny’s rendition of Laches, the Platonic dialogue addressing the nature of courage features Socrates discussing this important subject with none other than that Yale educated Texas intellectual George W. Bush. Each exchange is laugh-out-loud funny, considering how W. assumes as both a Texan and former commander-in-chief he is, by definition, always 100% right. And a non-Texan who would stuff his head with a lowly subject like philosophy can only be a dunce, miles away from Texas truth.
But seriously, Manny leans on his experience as a seasoned chess player that what might be judged a courageous action is not necessarily all that clear cut. There are times when boldly forging ahead, launching an attack or counterattack is exactly the wrong thing to do. Such is the complexity of both life and chess – just ask the many intermediate chess players lured into attacking only to find the master has set a trap resulting in a quick checkmate.
I’ve touched on only a few dialogue to give readers a brief glimpse of what gems they will uncover here. Again, Manny’s little book would be the perfect companion for students taking their first philosophy course or those folks with a bit more background in the subject. Either way, an enlightening, engaging and entertaining read.
Manny Rayner, Born 1958
Read
July 27, 20225th September 2018 Arrived in Bologna airport late in the evening. Made my way to a hotel on Via dell'Independenza where I had a rendezvous with a courier personally selected by the author of this book. The handing over of The New Adventures of Socrates took place in a dim corridor so it wasn't until I got to my room that I was able to examine the book properly. The cover made me think the book shouldn't be taken seriously but then I saw there was an index stretching to several pages! Looking through the A list, I found abominations... acronyms... ambrosia... anachronisms... arithmetic... avatars. Avatars?
I checked page 148 to see what the book had to say about avatars:
For if, as you rightly say, it is lacking in circumspection to judge a book by its cover, then surely it is harder still to judge an unknown citizen of the Internet by his avatar?
I took that as a warning to make no hasty judgements about the book or about the author. And indeed, the author's photo on the back of the book bears such a strong resemblance to his internet avatar that I can only conclude that both he and his book are completely on the level. I promise myself there and then to read Socrates, and to make every effort to take it seriously.
6th September I wake up in the hotel room in Bologna and reach for my glasses. They are sitting on top of Socrates. I take another look at him and notice he is pointing upwards towards a picture of a bunch of luscious grapes on the hotel room wall. You're right Socrates, I think to myself. While I'm in Italy, I promise to check out the grapes—and all the products made from grapes.
Later in the day I discover the local grape—Sangiovese. It makes a magical wine. I raise my glass to Socrates.
I also discover that Sangiovese goes very well with tortellini. The trip has begun well.
7th September In Modena, I attend a tasting session of Aceto Balsamico Tradizionale di Modena DOP. The 'aceto', made from grape 'must', is aged in a series of successively smaller barrels for twenty-five years. We are each given a spoonful to savor and it's unbelievably good—like food and wine all in one mouthful.
I feel I'm honoring at least one of my promises to Socrates.
8th September For the past few days, while traveling between Bologna, Modena and Ferrara, Socrates has been lying in my bag along with the other books I've taken on the trip: Giorgio Bassani's Ferrara stories, Within the Walls, Alison Cole's Italian Renaissance Courts and Baldesar Castiglione's Urbino-based Book of the Courtier. I've been alternating between those books but haven't yet started the Socrates book. The odd thing is that every time I reach into my bag for a book, Socrates is somehow on the top of the pile.
10th September Tonight I finally stopped resisting Socrates and discovered he is excellent company late at night when I'm exhausted from hours of pacing through piazzas, palazzos and pinacotecas.
12th September I stopped for a coffee in Ravenna beside Dante's tomb today, and since I had no Dante in my bag, I read a few pages of one of Socrates's dialogues instead. To my surprise, I found that Dante was mentioned (though not by Socrates): "Fifty Shades is an allegory, a modern version of Dante..."
That statement definitely made me pause for thought. And while I was thinking, I heard a voice which I can only imagine came from the tomb nearby, saying: "Prego, signora, there are-a fiftee shades in La Divina Commedia." I shook my head and the voice faded away but the words lingered in my mind all day and when I got back to the hotel, I searched for the word 'shade' in the kindle version of the English translation of The Divine Comedy. There are indeed fifty. My respect for the Socrates book is growing fast.
13th September Respect took a bit of a dip when I came to the chapter about Timmaeus in Socrates. Since this is a book of dialogues, I kind of expect Socrates to have a big role in every chapter, so when he doesn't, I become bored. It turns out that Socrates becomes bored too. While Timm is twitterlittering about Nothing, Socrates begins to look through the other books in my bag. The Book of the Courtier catches his eye because it is also a book of dialogues. He sees the word 'sprezzatura' in the introduction and smiles nonchalantly.
"They have taken that idea from me," he says, "I'm the king of cool."
I'm beginning to think he may be right.
14th September On page 70, Socrates says, "I have been a soldier in my time."
When I read that I wasn't surprised. Ever since he joined me on my trip through northern Italy, he's been fascinated by the fortresses—the Este fortress in Ferrare, the Malateste castle in Rimini, and today, the Montefeltre Extravaganza in Urbino:
But Socrates was a bit peeved not to figure in the gallery of famous portraits in the Duke of Montefeltro's private study—especially as Plato was there, and in a prominent position too.
However Socrates was mollified when he discovered that Baldesare Castiglione mentions him thirteen times in The Book of the Courtier which is, after all, set in Urbino in one of the rooms of the Montefeltro castle. We walked through that very room and smiled when we saw that today it contains a Raphael portrait of one of the Montefeltro ladies of the court, 'La Muta'.
We smiled because 'La Muta' means 'The Silent One', and there are very few silent ones in Castiglione's book—or in Rayner's either for that matter!
Dialogues, dialogues, dialogues…
September 15th On page 128, Socrates is involved in a debate about historical inaccuracies. Later, on the train back to Bologna, I notice him leafing through Italian Renaissance Courts, the 3rd book in my bag. He stops at the page featuring the famous statue of Laocoon and his sons. "Ah, the Laocoon," he says, "I know it well."
"Hold on," I say, thinking this is a good example of historical inaccuracy, "wasn't that statue created after your time?"
"My dear Fionnuala," says Socrates, "everyone knew of the Laocoon story in my day because Sophocles had written a drama about it."
"What drama?" I ask, unconvinced.
"The great Sophocles wrote many more dramas than have survived into your time," replied Socrates, smiling benignly as usual. "His Laocoon is only one of the many that have been allowed to be lost."
I remember 'La Muta' and vow to keep my mouth shut in future.
16th September Back in Bologna, Socrates, who has gained quite a bit of weight since the beginning of the trip, gets involved in a discussion about whether life should be governed by pleasure or by wisdom. He is about to conclude that a combination of both are necessary when we pass this poster in a shop window:
"I may have to rethink the wording of my conclusion," says Socrates, "Signor Fellini has found a better formula."
I have to agree with both of them—I'll miss the food and wine in Italy, and I'll miss Socrates. He was good fun and never complained about being jostled about on buses and trains. And when I read the last of the dialogues on the way to the airport, I was pleased to see Dante turn up again. In fact, I recognized his voice straight away, "Prego, signore. I like-a thees very much…"
I liked it very much too.
I checked page 148 to see what the book had to say about avatars:
For if, as you rightly say, it is lacking in circumspection to judge a book by its cover, then surely it is harder still to judge an unknown citizen of the Internet by his avatar?
I took that as a warning to make no hasty judgements about the book or about the author. And indeed, the author's photo on the back of the book bears such a strong resemblance to his internet avatar that I can only conclude that both he and his book are completely on the level. I promise myself there and then to read Socrates, and to make every effort to take it seriously.
6th September I wake up in the hotel room in Bologna and reach for my glasses. They are sitting on top of Socrates. I take another look at him and notice he is pointing upwards towards a picture of a bunch of luscious grapes on the hotel room wall. You're right Socrates, I think to myself. While I'm in Italy, I promise to check out the grapes—and all the products made from grapes.
Later in the day I discover the local grape—Sangiovese. It makes a magical wine. I raise my glass to Socrates.
I also discover that Sangiovese goes very well with tortellini. The trip has begun well.
7th September In Modena, I attend a tasting session of Aceto Balsamico Tradizionale di Modena DOP. The 'aceto', made from grape 'must', is aged in a series of successively smaller barrels for twenty-five years. We are each given a spoonful to savor and it's unbelievably good—like food and wine all in one mouthful.
I feel I'm honoring at least one of my promises to Socrates.
8th September For the past few days, while traveling between Bologna, Modena and Ferrara, Socrates has been lying in my bag along with the other books I've taken on the trip: Giorgio Bassani's Ferrara stories, Within the Walls, Alison Cole's Italian Renaissance Courts and Baldesar Castiglione's Urbino-based Book of the Courtier. I've been alternating between those books but haven't yet started the Socrates book. The odd thing is that every time I reach into my bag for a book, Socrates is somehow on the top of the pile.
10th September Tonight I finally stopped resisting Socrates and discovered he is excellent company late at night when I'm exhausted from hours of pacing through piazzas, palazzos and pinacotecas.
12th September I stopped for a coffee in Ravenna beside Dante's tomb today, and since I had no Dante in my bag, I read a few pages of one of Socrates's dialogues instead. To my surprise, I found that Dante was mentioned (though not by Socrates): "Fifty Shades is an allegory, a modern version of Dante..."
That statement definitely made me pause for thought. And while I was thinking, I heard a voice which I can only imagine came from the tomb nearby, saying: "Prego, signora, there are-a fiftee shades in La Divina Commedia." I shook my head and the voice faded away but the words lingered in my mind all day and when I got back to the hotel, I searched for the word 'shade' in the kindle version of the English translation of The Divine Comedy. There are indeed fifty. My respect for the Socrates book is growing fast.
13th September Respect took a bit of a dip when I came to the chapter about Timmaeus in Socrates. Since this is a book of dialogues, I kind of expect Socrates to have a big role in every chapter, so when he doesn't, I become bored. It turns out that Socrates becomes bored too. While Timm is twitterlittering about Nothing, Socrates begins to look through the other books in my bag. The Book of the Courtier catches his eye because it is also a book of dialogues. He sees the word 'sprezzatura' in the introduction and smiles nonchalantly.
"They have taken that idea from me," he says, "I'm the king of cool."I'm beginning to think he may be right.
14th September On page 70, Socrates says, "I have been a soldier in my time."
When I read that I wasn't surprised. Ever since he joined me on my trip through northern Italy, he's been fascinated by the fortresses—the Este fortress in Ferrare, the Malateste castle in Rimini, and today, the Montefeltre Extravaganza in Urbino:
But Socrates was a bit peeved not to figure in the gallery of famous portraits in the Duke of Montefeltro's private study—especially as Plato was there, and in a prominent position too.
However Socrates was mollified when he discovered that Baldesare Castiglione mentions him thirteen times in The Book of the Courtier which is, after all, set in Urbino in one of the rooms of the Montefeltro castle. We walked through that very room and smiled when we saw that today it contains a Raphael portrait of one of the Montefeltro ladies of the court, 'La Muta'.
We smiled because 'La Muta' means 'The Silent One', and there are very few silent ones in Castiglione's book—or in Rayner's either for that matter!
Dialogues, dialogues, dialogues…
September 15th On page 128, Socrates is involved in a debate about historical inaccuracies. Later, on the train back to Bologna, I notice him leafing through Italian Renaissance Courts, the 3rd book in my bag. He stops at the page featuring the famous statue of Laocoon and his sons. "Ah, the Laocoon," he says, "I know it well."
"Hold on," I say, thinking this is a good example of historical inaccuracy, "wasn't that statue created after your time?"
"My dear Fionnuala," says Socrates, "everyone knew of the Laocoon story in my day because Sophocles had written a drama about it."
"What drama?" I ask, unconvinced.
"The great Sophocles wrote many more dramas than have survived into your time," replied Socrates, smiling benignly as usual. "His Laocoon is only one of the many that have been allowed to be lost."
I remember 'La Muta' and vow to keep my mouth shut in future.
16th September Back in Bologna, Socrates, who has gained quite a bit of weight since the beginning of the trip, gets involved in a discussion about whether life should be governed by pleasure or by wisdom. He is about to conclude that a combination of both are necessary when we pass this poster in a shop window:
"I may have to rethink the wording of my conclusion," says Socrates, "Signor Fellini has found a better formula."
I have to agree with both of them—I'll miss the food and wine in Italy, and I'll miss Socrates. He was good fun and never complained about being jostled about on buses and trains. And when I read the last of the dialogues on the way to the airport, I was pleased to see Dante turn up again. In fact, I recognized his voice straight away, "Prego, signore. I like-a thees very much…"
I liked it very much too.
February 22, 2018
Not wants it to be known that she had nothing to do with this and opposed it at every turn: but for the benefit of people who prefer dirty Amazon-flavored bytes to good honest paper, I reluctantly inform the world that The New Adventures of Socrates is now also available in Kindle format.
I'm sorry. I'm aware that I shouldn't be using all this high-pressure salesmanship on you, but sometimes I just can't stop myself.
I'm sorry. I'm aware that I shouldn't be using all this high-pressure salesmanship on you, but sometimes I just can't stop myself.
December 20, 2017
PLATO and SOCRATES are sitting in a Costa Coffee in downtown Geneva.
PLATO : So you finally went behind my back and hired yourself a new ghost writer, you slimy little weasel, then, did you?
SOCRATES: Well, my hand was forced. Kindly tell me, if you would, what do you know about super string theory and dark matter and all that malarkey? What’s that you say? Precisely nothing. Right. You haven’t kept up with the times, admit it. I’m trying to build a brand here. I bet you don’t even know what a brand is.
PLATO : Sure I do, it’s something to distinguish between your slaves and another person’s slaves.
SOCRATES (appeals to the heavens to agree with him about Plato’s dunderheadedness) : Okay, I think you have to agree, I had to find someone who could talk to these modern people. Get my ideas across. Your jawbreaking perorations and antique phraseology don’t go across anymore. You’re yesterday’s man. You been riding my coat tails for 2500 years. I don’t need you any more. Now I’ve got Manny Rayner.
PLATO : So who is this Manny Rayner then? He’s the new Plato? I bet he couldn’t philosophise his way out of a paper bag if it was open at both ends.
SOCRATES : I didn’t hire him for his brain size, he got the gig because he’s really sciencey and he’s got the gift of the gab. The modern gab. He says he’s going to make me big. This book is only the first – have you seen it by the way? (Thrusts a copy under Plato’s nose.) It’s cute. Looka these drawings. They make me look like Toby Jones, but that’s okay, he’s hip.
PLATO : Yeah, whatever.
SOCRATES : Then we’re going to do youtube videos. I’m going to be a Youtuber! I’ll do a short punchy video every day, I’ll be walking around and I’ll see something – like for instance a dog dressed in a hat and boots for Christmas – or an earthquake – or one of those living statues you see all over - and I’ll spontaneously gush forth in some great philosophy about how a dog is not a thing or an earthquake is one and not many. It’s gonna be great.
PLATO : So where does that leave me then?
SOCRATES : Well, look, I know you kept my name alive all these years, and I’m not an ingrate. That would not be virtuous, and I’m all about the virtue. If this relaunch goes like Manny says it will, I’ll chip in a good word and we could put some debates online or whatever. Maybe in future there could be Socrates and Plato action figures available. Maybe we could join the Avengers. Go on tour.
PLATO : Anyway, I heard the new Star Wars movie is really good, do you fancy it?
SOCRATES : I don’t have much cash on me.
PLATO : They give concessions to the over 65s. In fact I think if you’re over 90 you get in free.
SOCRATES : In that case it’s only logical they should pay us to see this movie. Let’s go. Am I in it, do you know?
PLATO : So you finally went behind my back and hired yourself a new ghost writer, you slimy little weasel, then, did you?
SOCRATES: Well, my hand was forced. Kindly tell me, if you would, what do you know about super string theory and dark matter and all that malarkey? What’s that you say? Precisely nothing. Right. You haven’t kept up with the times, admit it. I’m trying to build a brand here. I bet you don’t even know what a brand is.
PLATO : Sure I do, it’s something to distinguish between your slaves and another person’s slaves.
SOCRATES (appeals to the heavens to agree with him about Plato’s dunderheadedness) : Okay, I think you have to agree, I had to find someone who could talk to these modern people. Get my ideas across. Your jawbreaking perorations and antique phraseology don’t go across anymore. You’re yesterday’s man. You been riding my coat tails for 2500 years. I don’t need you any more. Now I’ve got Manny Rayner.
PLATO : So who is this Manny Rayner then? He’s the new Plato? I bet he couldn’t philosophise his way out of a paper bag if it was open at both ends.
SOCRATES : I didn’t hire him for his brain size, he got the gig because he’s really sciencey and he’s got the gift of the gab. The modern gab. He says he’s going to make me big. This book is only the first – have you seen it by the way? (Thrusts a copy under Plato’s nose.) It’s cute. Looka these drawings. They make me look like Toby Jones, but that’s okay, he’s hip.
PLATO : Yeah, whatever.
SOCRATES : Then we’re going to do youtube videos. I’m going to be a Youtuber! I’ll do a short punchy video every day, I’ll be walking around and I’ll see something – like for instance a dog dressed in a hat and boots for Christmas – or an earthquake – or one of those living statues you see all over - and I’ll spontaneously gush forth in some great philosophy about how a dog is not a thing or an earthquake is one and not many. It’s gonna be great.
PLATO : So where does that leave me then?
SOCRATES : Well, look, I know you kept my name alive all these years, and I’m not an ingrate. That would not be virtuous, and I’m all about the virtue. If this relaunch goes like Manny says it will, I’ll chip in a good word and we could put some debates online or whatever. Maybe in future there could be Socrates and Plato action figures available. Maybe we could join the Avengers. Go on tour.
PLATO : Anyway, I heard the new Star Wars movie is really good, do you fancy it?
SOCRATES : I don’t have much cash on me.
PLATO : They give concessions to the over 65s. In fact I think if you’re over 90 you get in free.
SOCRATES : In that case it’s only logical they should pay us to see this movie. Let’s go. Am I in it, do you know?
June 2, 2018
A hillside in Attica. SOCRATES, dressed in cloak and sandals, is sitting on a rock, deep in thought. MANNY enters, looking around him irritably.
MANNY: Oh, god. Not again.
SOCRATES (noticing him): You seem troubled, stranger. What ails you?
MANNY: Well, it's just…every time someone reviews this book, you or I get dragged into yet another of these bloody dialogues. I'm getting a little tired of all the stage directions. (He scowls.)
SOCRATES: Ah. And I take it that the form upsets you in some way?
MANNY: Just listen to me! I don't sound anything like this in real life! And look at this place! (He kicks at the set.) I mean, what is this?
SOCRATES: I believe that was a rock.
MANNY: Not very Greek, is it?
SOCRATES: Well…a Doric rock, maybe. But come, my hirsute friend, why would so many people adopt this medium to comment on your manuscript?
MANNY: Well it's obvious, isn't it. It's the format I used myself. Copying it for the review, that's the oldest trick in the book.
SOCRATES: I begin to understand. You pioneered this approach, perhaps?
MANNY: Me? No, far from it. I took it from Plato. That's the whole point – I was trying to produce a kind of modern, condensed rewrite of the Platonic dialogues.
SOCRATES: I see. So you adopted my student's technique in order to comment on his works?
MANNY: Yes, but I get these things stuck up underneath my book all over Goodreads. I may have taken off Plato, but at least I had the decency not to fax him the results.
SOCRATES: Certainly he would have greeted a fax with some surprise.
A pause. MANNY looks at SOCRATES tentatively.
MANNY: So, uh…can I ask…what did you think?
SOCRATES: Oh, many things. To be honest, looking back, I did little else.
MANNY: Um. No, I meant – what did you think of my book?
SOCRATES: Ah! A fine job, my pogonophilous friend. You captured my special blend of patience and studied bewilderment rather brilliantly, I felt. And perhaps that's no surprise.
MANNY: Hm? How do you mean, no surprise?
SOCRATES: Only that your own voice, in reviews, is not entirely dissimilar.
MANNY: If you're accusing me of plagiarism, I utterly repudiate the claim. I've been reviewing books for years and I only read Plato recently.
SOCRATES: I meant, rather, that in your book there is more than a little of you in me, I fancy.
MANNY (narrowing his eyes): What are you suggesting?
SOCRATES: Come, come. When, in the review of one of those complicated physics books that you are fond of, you say something like, ‘I confess I am surprised at his approach,’ we all know what you mean.
MANNY: Is that right.
SOCRATES: Indeed. You mean approximately, ‘This fucking moron wouldn't know a gravitational wave from a Mexican wave.’
MANNY: That's very good…gravitational wave from a Mexican wave. I might steal that one.
SOCRATES: Be my guest. My point is, studied Socratic bewilderment is hardly a new technique to you.
MANNY: But…but hang on just a second. That wasn't a question.
SOCRATES: Er…wasn't it?
MANNY: No. I thought you were all about advancing through maieutic interrogation.
SOCRATES. I am! I mean – I am…?
MANNY: Are you sure you're Socrates?
SOCRATES: I am him! I mean…aren't you sure I'm Socrates?
MANNY: Go on, then – give me one of your catchphrases.
SOCRATES: Well…. True, um, knowledge, uh… consists in knowing that one knows nothing.
MANNY: In Greek give me one of your catchphrases.
SOCRATES: Er – ouzo o lesbos moussaka, hoi polloi nana mouskouri.
MANNY: I presume you mean To aeròstromnò mu ìne gemàto hèlia.
SOCRATES: Yes!!
MANNY: No you don't, because that means ‘My hovercraft is full of eels.’ Who are you!
MANNY pounces on SOCRATES. The two grapple.
MANNY: Is that a wig!?
SOCRATES: I've got alopecia! Get off me!
MANNY pulls off SOCRATES's wig and false beard, to reveal…
MANNY (gasps): Warwick!!
WARWICK: All right, fine! It's me!
MANNY: But…why? What are you doing here, sabotaging my review page?
WARWICK: I couldn't take it, all right?! It was fine in the old days, when you still listed your location as the UK. Oh, I did all right on the Swiss ‘best users’ lists back then – I was right up there with that girl whose reviews are all gifs of men taking their shirts off.
MANNY: You can't compete with that, man! People have gone mad trying!
WARWICK: Well I know that now! But no, you had to update your location in accordance with so-called ‘facts’ and ‘reality’. Now look at me! And now this – a wholly admirable and beautifully put together millennial update of Plato. What was I supposed to do!?
MANNY: Oh, dear. Come on – let's go and sit on that Doric rock over there and talk about it.
They move upstage.
WARWICK (sadly): This costume cost me a fortune.
MANNY: I confess I am surprised at your approach.
WARWICK produces a flask from the folds of his cloak.
WARWICK: …Hemlock smoothie?
MANNY: I'll pass.
They walk together into the distance.
Curtain.
MANNY: Oh, god. Not again.
SOCRATES (noticing him): You seem troubled, stranger. What ails you?
MANNY: Well, it's just…every time someone reviews this book, you or I get dragged into yet another of these bloody dialogues. I'm getting a little tired of all the stage directions. (He scowls.)
SOCRATES: Ah. And I take it that the form upsets you in some way?
MANNY: Just listen to me! I don't sound anything like this in real life! And look at this place! (He kicks at the set.) I mean, what is this?
SOCRATES: I believe that was a rock.
MANNY: Not very Greek, is it?
SOCRATES: Well…a Doric rock, maybe. But come, my hirsute friend, why would so many people adopt this medium to comment on your manuscript?
MANNY: Well it's obvious, isn't it. It's the format I used myself. Copying it for the review, that's the oldest trick in the book.
SOCRATES: I begin to understand. You pioneered this approach, perhaps?
MANNY: Me? No, far from it. I took it from Plato. That's the whole point – I was trying to produce a kind of modern, condensed rewrite of the Platonic dialogues.
SOCRATES: I see. So you adopted my student's technique in order to comment on his works?
MANNY: Yes, but I get these things stuck up underneath my book all over Goodreads. I may have taken off Plato, but at least I had the decency not to fax him the results.
SOCRATES: Certainly he would have greeted a fax with some surprise.
A pause. MANNY looks at SOCRATES tentatively.
MANNY: So, uh…can I ask…what did you think?
SOCRATES: Oh, many things. To be honest, looking back, I did little else.
MANNY: Um. No, I meant – what did you think of my book?
SOCRATES: Ah! A fine job, my pogonophilous friend. You captured my special blend of patience and studied bewilderment rather brilliantly, I felt. And perhaps that's no surprise.
MANNY: Hm? How do you mean, no surprise?
SOCRATES: Only that your own voice, in reviews, is not entirely dissimilar.
MANNY: If you're accusing me of plagiarism, I utterly repudiate the claim. I've been reviewing books for years and I only read Plato recently.
SOCRATES: I meant, rather, that in your book there is more than a little of you in me, I fancy.
MANNY (narrowing his eyes): What are you suggesting?
SOCRATES: Come, come. When, in the review of one of those complicated physics books that you are fond of, you say something like, ‘I confess I am surprised at his approach,’ we all know what you mean.
MANNY: Is that right.
SOCRATES: Indeed. You mean approximately, ‘This fucking moron wouldn't know a gravitational wave from a Mexican wave.’
MANNY: That's very good…gravitational wave from a Mexican wave. I might steal that one.
SOCRATES: Be my guest. My point is, studied Socratic bewilderment is hardly a new technique to you.
MANNY: But…but hang on just a second. That wasn't a question.
SOCRATES: Er…wasn't it?
MANNY: No. I thought you were all about advancing through maieutic interrogation.
SOCRATES. I am! I mean – I am…?
MANNY: Are you sure you're Socrates?
SOCRATES: I am him! I mean…aren't you sure I'm Socrates?
MANNY: Go on, then – give me one of your catchphrases.
SOCRATES: Well…. True, um, knowledge, uh… consists in knowing that one knows nothing.
MANNY: In Greek give me one of your catchphrases.
SOCRATES: Er – ouzo o lesbos moussaka, hoi polloi nana mouskouri.
MANNY: I presume you mean To aeròstromnò mu ìne gemàto hèlia.
SOCRATES: Yes!!
MANNY: No you don't, because that means ‘My hovercraft is full of eels.’ Who are you!
MANNY pounces on SOCRATES. The two grapple.
MANNY: Is that a wig!?
SOCRATES: I've got alopecia! Get off me!
MANNY pulls off SOCRATES's wig and false beard, to reveal…
MANNY (gasps): Warwick!!
WARWICK: All right, fine! It's me!
MANNY: But…why? What are you doing here, sabotaging my review page?
WARWICK: I couldn't take it, all right?! It was fine in the old days, when you still listed your location as the UK. Oh, I did all right on the Swiss ‘best users’ lists back then – I was right up there with that girl whose reviews are all gifs of men taking their shirts off.
MANNY: You can't compete with that, man! People have gone mad trying!
WARWICK: Well I know that now! But no, you had to update your location in accordance with so-called ‘facts’ and ‘reality’. Now look at me! And now this – a wholly admirable and beautifully put together millennial update of Plato. What was I supposed to do!?
MANNY: Oh, dear. Come on – let's go and sit on that Doric rock over there and talk about it.
They move upstage.
WARWICK (sadly): This costume cost me a fortune.
MANNY: I confess I am surprised at your approach.
WARWICK produces a flask from the folds of his cloak.
WARWICK: …Hemlock smoothie?
MANNY: I'll pass.
They walk together into the distance.
Curtain.
March 27, 2018
[Among the fluffy clouds of heaven, a council of bearded men convenes. Everyone is talking loudly amongst themselves. SPINOZA, dressed as a British judge—with gavel and white wig and black robe—steps up to the podium.]
SPINOZA [pounding the gavel]: Order, order, order I say! Order is the principle of harmony and the basis of a peaceful life. Order!
[The conversation dies down into a murmuring silence.]
SPIN: We have come here today to decide if this internet sage, the so-called Manny Rayner, will be given the right to create yet another Socratic dialogue. The debate is open. Yes, you Voltaire?
VOLTAIRE: Honestly the whole Socratic dialogue schtick is a bit cliché at this point.
LEIBNIZ: Objection! Relevance?
SPIN: Sustained.
[NIETZSCHE jumps up, waving his hands madly.]
SPIN: Ahh, uh, yes Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE: Socrates poisoned Western culture and is responsible for bifurcating good and evil! He’s a dog! Hang him and his followers!
[Disapproving hisses.]
SPIN [Once again banging his gavel]: Settle down, settle down. We all know that Nietzsche says the same thing at every meeting. Let’s move on. I was hoping to hear from you, Kant.
KANT: The question, for me, is whether this Manny fellow treated Socrates as an end or merely a means to an end? Unless I am sure it is the former, I cannot give my blessing on this enterprise.
LEIB: Objection! Socrates is dead, and therefore cannot be treated as an end.
SPIN: Sustained. [Pointing to a skinny man wearing a top hat, who is rising to his feet.] Ah, Johnny S. Mill, I was hoping you would speak up.
MILL: The question, for me, boils down to whether the dialogues will cause more pain or pleasure? Although my instinct tells me that they will be mostly amusing, it’s possible that enough people will be displeased to make the publication immoral.
LEIB: Objection! Speculative.
SPIN: Sustained again. Well, Leibniz, do you have any opinion on this matter?
LEIB: Whatever we do will be the best, since we live in the best of all possible worlds.
VOLT: Objection!
ALL: Not this again!
SPIN [banging his gavel]: Well, we seem to be getting nowhere on this question. I suppose we had better hear from Aristotle.
ARISTOTLE: The answer is obvious. The best course of action is always the middle course.
SPIN: And that is?
ARIS: Only publish half the book.
VOLT [snorting]: He’s even stupider in real life.
ARIS: I assure you that, like all my attributes, my IQ is perfectly moderate.
SPIN: Knock it out you too. Well, to cover all our bases I suppose we should ask Wittgenstein…
WITTGENSTEIN: “Socrates” is a figure of speech.
[LEIBNIZ vomits, KANT faints.]
SPIN: … as expected. Ok, well, so, since none of you seem to have any good ideas on this matter, I suppose we ought to just ask Plato.
PLATO: Thank you, Spinoza. [Standing up with great dignity.] Although Manny might be guilty of plagiarism, so are all of you—since everything you’ve written has just been footnotes to my work. Thus, I see no reason to object to this newest footnote. Just so long that everyone keeps in mind who was the firstest and the bestest [pointing to himself].
NIET: Hang him! The dog!
[Everyone bursts into loud argument. SPINOZA madly pounds his gavel. Finally, a voice pierces the din and everyone falls silent.]
SOCRATES: Wait, comrades! Enough of this chaos! Shouldn’t I have something to say about this?
SPIN: Oh, yes, of course Socrates. How silly of me, I almost forgot about you.
SOC [Addressing everyone]: Well, is it not true that our main source for the Socratic method is Plato’s writings?
ALL: Yes.
SOC: And is it not true that Plato was, himself, a highly opinionated philosopher?
ALL: Agreed.
SOC: And is it not most often true that highly opinionated people are not very trustworthy in summarizing other people’s opinons?
ALL: Most worthily said, Socrates.
SOC: So, for all we know, might our knowledge of Socrates be entirely inaccurate?
ALL: Most admirably reasoned, Socrates.
PLAT: Objection!
ALL: Shut up, Plato!
SOC: As I was saying, for all we know, the real Socrates perhaps had nothing in common with Plato’s version?
ALL: We entirely agree, Socrates.
SOC: So, it is possible, though it is admittedly unlikely, that Manny’s dialogues more nearly approach the truth than Plato's verion, is it not?
ALL: We must admit that it is entirely possible.
SOC: Thus we have no basis to object to the publication. Isn’t that right?
ALL [Bursting into mad applause]: Bravo!
SPIN [Banging his gavel]: Order, order! Harmony, peace, and order!
MANNY [Stepping forward meekly]: Does this mean I can go home now? It’s been three days since your angels picked me up.
SPIN: Ah, yes of course, you can go. Sorry for the delay. These philosophical matters, you know, always take a while.
MAN: I noticed…
[Two angels pick up MANNY by his shirt and fly off towards earth, while the council of philosophers commence to debate whether apples and oranges can be legitimately compared.]
FIN.
SPINOZA [pounding the gavel]: Order, order, order I say! Order is the principle of harmony and the basis of a peaceful life. Order!
[The conversation dies down into a murmuring silence.]
SPIN: We have come here today to decide if this internet sage, the so-called Manny Rayner, will be given the right to create yet another Socratic dialogue. The debate is open. Yes, you Voltaire?
VOLTAIRE: Honestly the whole Socratic dialogue schtick is a bit cliché at this point.
LEIBNIZ: Objection! Relevance?
SPIN: Sustained.
[NIETZSCHE jumps up, waving his hands madly.]
SPIN: Ahh, uh, yes Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE: Socrates poisoned Western culture and is responsible for bifurcating good and evil! He’s a dog! Hang him and his followers!
[Disapproving hisses.]
SPIN [Once again banging his gavel]: Settle down, settle down. We all know that Nietzsche says the same thing at every meeting. Let’s move on. I was hoping to hear from you, Kant.
KANT: The question, for me, is whether this Manny fellow treated Socrates as an end or merely a means to an end? Unless I am sure it is the former, I cannot give my blessing on this enterprise.
LEIB: Objection! Socrates is dead, and therefore cannot be treated as an end.
SPIN: Sustained. [Pointing to a skinny man wearing a top hat, who is rising to his feet.] Ah, Johnny S. Mill, I was hoping you would speak up.
MILL: The question, for me, boils down to whether the dialogues will cause more pain or pleasure? Although my instinct tells me that they will be mostly amusing, it’s possible that enough people will be displeased to make the publication immoral.
LEIB: Objection! Speculative.
SPIN: Sustained again. Well, Leibniz, do you have any opinion on this matter?
LEIB: Whatever we do will be the best, since we live in the best of all possible worlds.
VOLT: Objection!
ALL: Not this again!
SPIN [banging his gavel]: Well, we seem to be getting nowhere on this question. I suppose we had better hear from Aristotle.
ARISTOTLE: The answer is obvious. The best course of action is always the middle course.
SPIN: And that is?
ARIS: Only publish half the book.
VOLT [snorting]: He’s even stupider in real life.
ARIS: I assure you that, like all my attributes, my IQ is perfectly moderate.
SPIN: Knock it out you too. Well, to cover all our bases I suppose we should ask Wittgenstein…
WITTGENSTEIN: “Socrates” is a figure of speech.
[LEIBNIZ vomits, KANT faints.]
SPIN: … as expected. Ok, well, so, since none of you seem to have any good ideas on this matter, I suppose we ought to just ask Plato.
PLATO: Thank you, Spinoza. [Standing up with great dignity.] Although Manny might be guilty of plagiarism, so are all of you—since everything you’ve written has just been footnotes to my work. Thus, I see no reason to object to this newest footnote. Just so long that everyone keeps in mind who was the firstest and the bestest [pointing to himself].
NIET: Hang him! The dog!
[Everyone bursts into loud argument. SPINOZA madly pounds his gavel. Finally, a voice pierces the din and everyone falls silent.]
SOCRATES: Wait, comrades! Enough of this chaos! Shouldn’t I have something to say about this?
SPIN: Oh, yes, of course Socrates. How silly of me, I almost forgot about you.
SOC [Addressing everyone]: Well, is it not true that our main source for the Socratic method is Plato’s writings?
ALL: Yes.
SOC: And is it not true that Plato was, himself, a highly opinionated philosopher?
ALL: Agreed.
SOC: And is it not most often true that highly opinionated people are not very trustworthy in summarizing other people’s opinons?
ALL: Most worthily said, Socrates.
SOC: So, for all we know, might our knowledge of Socrates be entirely inaccurate?
ALL: Most admirably reasoned, Socrates.
PLAT: Objection!
ALL: Shut up, Plato!
SOC: As I was saying, for all we know, the real Socrates perhaps had nothing in common with Plato’s version?
ALL: We entirely agree, Socrates.
SOC: So, it is possible, though it is admittedly unlikely, that Manny’s dialogues more nearly approach the truth than Plato's verion, is it not?
ALL: We must admit that it is entirely possible.
SOC: Thus we have no basis to object to the publication. Isn’t that right?
ALL [Bursting into mad applause]: Bravo!
SPIN [Banging his gavel]: Order, order! Harmony, peace, and order!
MANNY [Stepping forward meekly]: Does this mean I can go home now? It’s been three days since your angels picked me up.
SPIN: Ah, yes of course, you can go. Sorry for the delay. These philosophical matters, you know, always take a while.
MAN: I noticed…
[Two angels pick up MANNY by his shirt and fly off towards earth, while the council of philosophers commence to debate whether apples and oranges can be legitimately compared.]
FIN.
August 11, 2018
Bertie Wooster and Jeeves Meet Manny Rayner (II)
----------------------------------------
I was just coming back to the flat from the Drones when I saw Freddie Widgeon coming out.
I was surprised. Having missed him at the club, I was under the impression that he was somewhere down in the country, tootling around his latest girl. The last place I expected him was at my flat.
"Uh, Hullo, Freddie!" I said.
He looked at me coldly, rather like one of the characters in a Russian play in the third act when he finds out that the family estate is mortgaged and that his father has a wasting disease. "Good day to you, Wooster," he said, and brushed past me.
I was nonplussed. Being an observant person, I could make out that old Freddie was miffed, but for the life of me I couldn't make out why. I said as much to Jeeves as he greeted me with the restoratives.
"Ah yes, sir, I understand that Mr. Widgeon is upset."
"Could you find out why?" I asked.
"I think it's quite understandable under the circumstances, sir. Miss Janine Emmersworth, I understand, has just broken off her engagement with Mr. Widgeon."
I wiped my brow. "Golly, Jeeves! It has already happened? The popsy has given him the push?"
"Apparently, yes, sir."
I whistled softly. "It comes as a surprise. I mean, one expected him to get the raspberry eventually - he always does - but not this fast." I chewed my lower lip thoughtfully. "But why the high dudgeon with me?"
Jeeves cleared his throat. "I am afraid, sir, that he blames the book you lent him for this unfortunate occurrence. It was to return the book that he just came."
"Which book?"
"The one which you lent him, sir. The one by Mr. Manny Rayner titled The New Adventures of Socrates."
Now, those of you who follow my adventures will immediately recognise this chap Manny - Jeeves's friend at the Goodreads website where he reads and reviews books. I had reviewed one book by him on these fora, which Jeeves later told me that I had gotten totally wrong. Apparently this blighter does something called 'impressionistic criticism', which according to me consists of writing all kind of nonsense and calling it a book review, but by which Jeeves swears highly. Well, anything good enough for Jeeves is good enough for me, so I guess this Manny must be some sort of genius.
The book Jeeves was mentioning was the latest one put out by this bird. In it, he has written a lot of dialogues by Socrates - you know, the guy who was such a pain in the neck for the government in Greece that they forced him to bump himself off by drinking poison - in a 'clever parody of Plato's original work' (Jeeves' words). Well, since I had not read the original work in question, I found some of them quite funny - after Jeeves explained to me, of course.
I had given the book to Freddie, telling him it was a riot. But for the life of me I couldn't imagine how it had ended up with him losing his beasel, and I told the same to Jeeves.
"Well, sir," Jeeves tone held a mild reproach, "I understand that you did not apprise Mr. Widgeon of the fact that these were not the original dialogues of Socrates?"
"By Jove, I didn't," I said. "You don't mean to say that the poor chump thought so?"
"Apparently yes, sir. And unfortunately, he discussed the same with his fiance - not knowing that the young lady was a philosophy major."
"Golly, Jeeves! Put his foot in the thing properly, didn't he?"
"It seems that Mr. Widgeon made a lot of unfortunate remarks, sir. After calling Socrates bawdy and 'a randy old man', he was just describing the dialogue with Madonna, Hugh Hefner and Socrates in detail when Miss Emmersworth stopped him and excused herself, pleading a prior appointment."
"And he got his ring and letters back by the first post."
"Yes, sir."
I bit my lower lip. These moments of intense human tragedy rarely failed to affect me. Then a sudden thought struck me and I sat up with a start.
"Jeeves! I just remembered! Bingo has asked me to lend him the book! Is it more trouble?"
"Possibly, sir. I had foreseen some such eventuality. I have information from reliable sources that Mrs. Richard Little has joined a philosophy club, and is persuading Mr. Little to join."
"Gosh, Jeeves! He will make a fool of himself! We must do something! Burn the darned book!"
"I have already done so, sir."
"Jeeves - you are incomparable! But what if Bingo asks this Manny chap directly? He was planning to join Goodreads."
Jeeves cleared his throat. "I had considered the possibility, sir. So I took the precaution of messaging Mr. Rayner on Goodreads, and apprised him of the situation. I have asked him to inform Mr. Little that the book is out of print, and he has very kindly agreed."
"Jeeves," I said, overcome with emotion, "you are one in a million!"
The right corner of Jeeves's upper lip went up by the sixteenth of an inch. "I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir," he said.
----------------------------------------
I was just coming back to the flat from the Drones when I saw Freddie Widgeon coming out.
I was surprised. Having missed him at the club, I was under the impression that he was somewhere down in the country, tootling around his latest girl. The last place I expected him was at my flat.
"Uh, Hullo, Freddie!" I said.
He looked at me coldly, rather like one of the characters in a Russian play in the third act when he finds out that the family estate is mortgaged and that his father has a wasting disease. "Good day to you, Wooster," he said, and brushed past me.
I was nonplussed. Being an observant person, I could make out that old Freddie was miffed, but for the life of me I couldn't make out why. I said as much to Jeeves as he greeted me with the restoratives.
"Ah yes, sir, I understand that Mr. Widgeon is upset."
"Could you find out why?" I asked.
"I think it's quite understandable under the circumstances, sir. Miss Janine Emmersworth, I understand, has just broken off her engagement with Mr. Widgeon."
I wiped my brow. "Golly, Jeeves! It has already happened? The popsy has given him the push?"
"Apparently, yes, sir."
I whistled softly. "It comes as a surprise. I mean, one expected him to get the raspberry eventually - he always does - but not this fast." I chewed my lower lip thoughtfully. "But why the high dudgeon with me?"
Jeeves cleared his throat. "I am afraid, sir, that he blames the book you lent him for this unfortunate occurrence. It was to return the book that he just came."
"Which book?"
"The one which you lent him, sir. The one by Mr. Manny Rayner titled The New Adventures of Socrates."
Now, those of you who follow my adventures will immediately recognise this chap Manny - Jeeves's friend at the Goodreads website where he reads and reviews books. I had reviewed one book by him on these fora, which Jeeves later told me that I had gotten totally wrong. Apparently this blighter does something called 'impressionistic criticism', which according to me consists of writing all kind of nonsense and calling it a book review, but by which Jeeves swears highly. Well, anything good enough for Jeeves is good enough for me, so I guess this Manny must be some sort of genius.
The book Jeeves was mentioning was the latest one put out by this bird. In it, he has written a lot of dialogues by Socrates - you know, the guy who was such a pain in the neck for the government in Greece that they forced him to bump himself off by drinking poison - in a 'clever parody of Plato's original work' (Jeeves' words). Well, since I had not read the original work in question, I found some of them quite funny - after Jeeves explained to me, of course.
I had given the book to Freddie, telling him it was a riot. But for the life of me I couldn't imagine how it had ended up with him losing his beasel, and I told the same to Jeeves.
"Well, sir," Jeeves tone held a mild reproach, "I understand that you did not apprise Mr. Widgeon of the fact that these were not the original dialogues of Socrates?"
"By Jove, I didn't," I said. "You don't mean to say that the poor chump thought so?"
"Apparently yes, sir. And unfortunately, he discussed the same with his fiance - not knowing that the young lady was a philosophy major."
"Golly, Jeeves! Put his foot in the thing properly, didn't he?"
"It seems that Mr. Widgeon made a lot of unfortunate remarks, sir. After calling Socrates bawdy and 'a randy old man', he was just describing the dialogue with Madonna, Hugh Hefner and Socrates in detail when Miss Emmersworth stopped him and excused herself, pleading a prior appointment."
"And he got his ring and letters back by the first post."
"Yes, sir."
I bit my lower lip. These moments of intense human tragedy rarely failed to affect me. Then a sudden thought struck me and I sat up with a start.
"Jeeves! I just remembered! Bingo has asked me to lend him the book! Is it more trouble?"
"Possibly, sir. I had foreseen some such eventuality. I have information from reliable sources that Mrs. Richard Little has joined a philosophy club, and is persuading Mr. Little to join."
"Gosh, Jeeves! He will make a fool of himself! We must do something! Burn the darned book!"
"I have already done so, sir."
"Jeeves - you are incomparable! But what if Bingo asks this Manny chap directly? He was planning to join Goodreads."
Jeeves cleared his throat. "I had considered the possibility, sir. So I took the precaution of messaging Mr. Rayner on Goodreads, and apprised him of the situation. I have asked him to inform Mr. Little that the book is out of print, and he has very kindly agreed."
"Jeeves," I said, overcome with emotion, "you are one in a million!"
The right corner of Jeeves's upper lip went up by the sixteenth of an inch. "I endeavour to give satisfaction, sir," he said.
May 10, 2018
Since it’s Socrates I take it that this book isn’t false and bad and useless.
_______________
What can one expect from a book that has a half naked old man on the cover and a robot who is completely naked? Well, quite a lot, actually. I wrote the above sentence before I actually read the book in order to boast a little about my knowledge of the so called “sieves of Socrates”. But that didn’t stop the author from using a part of this sentence as some kind of “praise” for his book in his own review. Well, I don’t mind. I know the book market is a bloody hard-nosed business where you have to take what you can get in order to survive and shove your competitors into the ditch.
Now that I read Mr. Rayner’s latest effort I have to concede that my preliminary judgement turned out to be legitimate. The book is indeed neither false, nor bad, nor useless. Furthermore it’s even droll in some parts. I think it was Austrian-born philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein to whom this quote is attributed: “A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.” I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the new adventures of Socrates is a serious and good philosophical work. It’s not meant to be. It also doesn’t consist entirely of jokes, because there’s a “but seriously…” bit at the end of each chapter. But at least it’s a work, and it obviously was written and it has philosophical overtones and also quite a few jokes in it. So I guess you could say that it comes somewhat close to Wittgenstein’s ideal of such a book. Congratulations, Mr. Rayner.
Transferred to the modern world, starring modern characters (real and fictional ones) in addition to Socrates, and boiled down to the essentials, each chapter offers a glimpse to an original dialogue by Plato. You don’t have to read all of Plato’s works before you can appreciate the book at hand though, but it doesn’t hurt either – in fact it’s highly probable that you do want to check out the ancient Greek guy after reading this book. And you never know when some knowledge of Plato comes in handy: For instance, recently a man from Pakistan was denied UK asylum after he failed to identify Plato!
The book is thematically divided into three parts: Beauty – Truth – Virtue. At least the latter two seem to not play any important role in this modern world anymore. And that's too bad, really. I think Mr. Rayner has a similar view and that this may have been one of the reasons for writing this book in the first place. May the new adventures of Socrates be spread widely and read by many and may the spirit of Socrates be resurrected.
PS — I just checked out the book on Amazon and the infallible recommendation engine offers a whole range of related items: From Ancient Chinese Wisdom to Star Wars, from The Mindset Makeover to Conquer Your Fear Of Failure, from Sudoku to Adult Coloring books (not to mention Seriously Mum, What's an Alpaca?)! Instead of reading all of this stuff I recommend you first get your hands on this small volume of wit and wisdom.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
_______________
What can one expect from a book that has a half naked old man on the cover and a robot who is completely naked? Well, quite a lot, actually. I wrote the above sentence before I actually read the book in order to boast a little about my knowledge of the so called “sieves of Socrates”. But that didn’t stop the author from using a part of this sentence as some kind of “praise” for his book in his own review. Well, I don’t mind. I know the book market is a bloody hard-nosed business where you have to take what you can get in order to survive and shove your competitors into the ditch.
Now that I read Mr. Rayner’s latest effort I have to concede that my preliminary judgement turned out to be legitimate. The book is indeed neither false, nor bad, nor useless. Furthermore it’s even droll in some parts. I think it was Austrian-born philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein to whom this quote is attributed: “A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.” I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the new adventures of Socrates is a serious and good philosophical work. It’s not meant to be. It also doesn’t consist entirely of jokes, because there’s a “but seriously…” bit at the end of each chapter. But at least it’s a work, and it obviously was written and it has philosophical overtones and also quite a few jokes in it. So I guess you could say that it comes somewhat close to Wittgenstein’s ideal of such a book. Congratulations, Mr. Rayner.
Transferred to the modern world, starring modern characters (real and fictional ones) in addition to Socrates, and boiled down to the essentials, each chapter offers a glimpse to an original dialogue by Plato. You don’t have to read all of Plato’s works before you can appreciate the book at hand though, but it doesn’t hurt either – in fact it’s highly probable that you do want to check out the ancient Greek guy after reading this book. And you never know when some knowledge of Plato comes in handy: For instance, recently a man from Pakistan was denied UK asylum after he failed to identify Plato!
The book is thematically divided into three parts: Beauty – Truth – Virtue. At least the latter two seem to not play any important role in this modern world anymore. And that's too bad, really. I think Mr. Rayner has a similar view and that this may have been one of the reasons for writing this book in the first place. May the new adventures of Socrates be spread widely and read by many and may the spirit of Socrates be resurrected.
PS — I just checked out the book on Amazon and the infallible recommendation engine offers a whole range of related items: From Ancient Chinese Wisdom to Star Wars, from The Mindset Makeover to Conquer Your Fear Of Failure, from Sudoku to Adult Coloring books (not to mention Seriously Mum, What's an Alpaca?)! Instead of reading all of this stuff I recommend you first get your hands on this small volume of wit and wisdom.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
December 27, 2017
Having read Manny’s hilarious and informative book on Plato’s Socratic dialogues, I feel 2.7% more knowledgeable on the works of the Athenian charmer. I can honestly say, having had no prior interest in Plato or Socrates or other ancient marble busts seen in museums who once said cool things, I thought the case for Socrates’ teachings was made with panache, and I came to love the intellectual imp like a sister. A feast of Raynerian irony and sly wit, this should be a class text in all schools and colleges.
December 21, 2018
Socrates, Plato and their ilk frighten me. Images of marble busts in their likeness give me nightmares of liberal talking heads, of hairy men with googly eyes from a pederastic society talking smack with the P-word. P as in Philosophy, that is. What did the gadfly of Athens have to say? As it turned out, according to Plato, everything and everything else.
Dialogues upon dialogues on wide-ranging topics - what reasons for virtuous and ethical behaviors? What is the best form of government? Is knowledge is a kind of opinion? Mixing pleasure and wisdom? What does love mean? Not drawing a line between courage and wisdom? Weaving as a metaphor of the State? A dull but enduring monologue that stops in mid-sentence? People are often ruled by their erotic impulses? Distinguishing ”the noble and truth-seeking Philosopher from the base and dishonest Sophist”? And more, much more. Enough to cause a person to give up thinking and lay down. So, I, a layperson prone to not thinking, give Greek philosophy a wide berth.
Fortunately, there’s Manny Rayner to do the heavy pondering. What possessed him to read Plato’s dialogues is rather fuzzy, as I suspect there was bubbly alcohol involved (see above for “mixing pleasure and wisdom”). Who encouraged him to undertake the project of parodizing Socratic philosophy into the fun and funny is a lovely mention in acknowledgements, that you have to read along with the introduction of “How This Book Got Written”, which is the most truthful piece of writing I have ever seen from Rayner (also see “ethical behaviors”).
The result is The New Adventures of Socrates: An Extravaganza, 165 pages of ancient Greeks, modern speak. It is no more than a day’s read from first word to last unless you choose to linger after each of the 27 chapters over four sections on Beauty, Truth, Virtue and Epilogue but always, it is more than a moment’s pleasure from cover to cover. I knew Rayner has a sense of humor, warped though it is, but that’s among good company in the Goodreads haunt. Sometimes I hang out here.
Not recommended for people who are serious about philosophy. Recommended for people who are serious about laughing, but can’t philosophize why. 4 stars rounded up to 5 because, well, while I can’t say I am any more endeared to Socrates, creepy cold man, but damn if I didn’t want to explore a bit more of Plato’s dialogues.
Dialogues upon dialogues on wide-ranging topics - what reasons for virtuous and ethical behaviors? What is the best form of government? Is knowledge is a kind of opinion? Mixing pleasure and wisdom? What does love mean? Not drawing a line between courage and wisdom? Weaving as a metaphor of the State? A dull but enduring monologue that stops in mid-sentence? People are often ruled by their erotic impulses? Distinguishing ”the noble and truth-seeking Philosopher from the base and dishonest Sophist”? And more, much more. Enough to cause a person to give up thinking and lay down. So, I, a layperson prone to not thinking, give Greek philosophy a wide berth.
Fortunately, there’s Manny Rayner to do the heavy pondering. What possessed him to read Plato’s dialogues is rather fuzzy, as I suspect there was bubbly alcohol involved (see above for “mixing pleasure and wisdom”). Who encouraged him to undertake the project of parodizing Socratic philosophy into the fun and funny is a lovely mention in acknowledgements, that you have to read along with the introduction of “How This Book Got Written”, which is the most truthful piece of writing I have ever seen from Rayner (also see “ethical behaviors”).
The result is The New Adventures of Socrates: An Extravaganza, 165 pages of ancient Greeks, modern speak. It is no more than a day’s read from first word to last unless you choose to linger after each of the 27 chapters over four sections on Beauty, Truth, Virtue and Epilogue but always, it is more than a moment’s pleasure from cover to cover. I knew Rayner has a sense of humor, warped though it is, but that’s among good company in the Goodreads haunt. Sometimes I hang out here.
Not recommended for people who are serious about philosophy. Recommended for people who are serious about laughing, but can’t philosophize why. 4 stars rounded up to 5 because, well, while I can’t say I am any more endeared to Socrates, creepy cold man, but damn if I didn’t want to explore a bit more of Plato’s dialogues.
August 31, 2021
Just as entertaining on second reading; virtue is as does .. moveable feast .. Soc standing pat. Good fun!
GR's reader and author MR's delightful romp into Plato's dialogues through a modern day prism - revisit Socrates' gadfly pursuit of truth as he queries not just his Attic peers but a whole host of historical figures ranging on up to OUR times (i.e. Madonna, who just kills it!). I'm reminded of a Steve Allen TV show from the late 70's or so called "Meeting of the Minds" where notable peeps are pulled from the past, reconstituted and/or resurrected for to assemble a dinner party with various said personages where they propound, discuss, debate & frolic about their lives & times. Manny has read and comprehended the dialogues it's obvious or he wouldn't be so adept at adapting them to comic use! He even offers his own "Republic" of a GR's-like community only better.
GR's reader and author MR's delightful romp into Plato's dialogues through a modern day prism - revisit Socrates' gadfly pursuit of truth as he queries not just his Attic peers but a whole host of historical figures ranging on up to OUR times (i.e. Madonna, who just kills it!). I'm reminded of a Steve Allen TV show from the late 70's or so called "Meeting of the Minds" where notable peeps are pulled from the past, reconstituted and/or resurrected for to assemble a dinner party with various said personages where they propound, discuss, debate & frolic about their lives & times. Manny has read and comprehended the dialogues it's obvious or he wouldn't be so adept at adapting them to comic use! He even offers his own "Republic" of a GR's-like community only better.
February 25, 2018
Mainly I wish to apologise to the author for my failure to get publishers to take this up. It deserves better, but publishers these days are scaredy cats.
To be fair, so are readers. The publisher and their target customer both want books that have a hashsign on the front cover. The Adventures of Something #8. Ugggh.
Unfortunately the author has decided to turn this into an ebook. Evidently one in ten or so copies of ebooks are bought and the rest are taken without being paid for, let's call that theft. That being the case, I can only hope that nine million copies of it are stolen.
To be fair, so are readers. The publisher and their target customer both want books that have a hashsign on the front cover. The Adventures of Something #8. Ugggh.
Unfortunately the author has decided to turn this into an ebook. Evidently one in ten or so copies of ebooks are bought and the rest are taken without being paid for, let's call that theft. That being the case, I can only hope that nine million copies of it are stolen.
September 8, 2018
This book got no vampires, no sex and has no drama (in the book or with the author for that matter). I read the book anyway and will probably get anywhere between 0-3 likes on this two bit review. Maybe 5 if follow Callicles' advice.
"The Online Socrates" is my favorite in this collection. Never fails to make me chuckle and think back on Gorgias in the process.
"The Online Socrates" is my favorite in this collection. Never fails to make me chuckle and think back on Gorgias in the process.
February 1, 2021
Plato for the Uninitiated
31 January 2021
I was rather surprised to be wandering through a second-hand bookshop and discover a paperback copy of one of Manny Rayner’s books. Like, I suspected that all of his works were e-books (and I’m not a particularly big fan of e-books because, well, I like physical books), so yeah, this was quite a pleasant surprise. It also seemed as if he wrote the foreword while in Adelaide, which was another surprise because Adelaide’s sort of one of those places that only Australians know about (unless there is another Adelaide out there that I didn’t know about).
There are other things that I learnt from this book as well, such as that Madonna plays chess, and is apparently pretty good at it. Being one of those people that grew up with Madonna on the radio, we tend to put her in the category of pop singer, and when it was announced that she had joined the Kaballah, people basically laughed because the idea of Madonna having a serious religious outlook just didn’t seem to make all that much sense. Then again, when one tends to build up an image, it can be pretty difficult shaking people’s perceptions of you, especially when you are a public figure like Madonna.
As for the book, well, yeah, it was pretty good. Okay, being somebody who has read a lot of Plato, coming to this book wasn’t really all that new, but the way Manny Rayner puts the arguments into context, and helps us understand them by using modern characters, makes what tends to be some rather difficult concepts into easily digestible tidbits. Further, the ‘but seriously’ bits at the end also help put them into context, and works to explain what has just happened.
Yeah, Plato really isn’t one of the easiest people to understand, and of course, we can’t be guaranteed that what he wrote is actually what Socrates said. He does have this habit of putting a lot of ideas into Socrates’ mouth, something that isn’t lost on Rayner, especially when he does the bit on the Crito.
Of course, there are other aspects of Greek Culture that are explored as well, parts that would no doubt make us moderns cringe, and I’m not talking about the treatment of women, or of the fact that they kept slaves. Mind you, when this was pointed out to me in Classic Studies, way back during my arts degree, my initial reaction was ‘but surely Socrates wasn’t like that’. The problem is that I think he was, and it is also interesting that out of many of the famous Greek philosophers, he seemed to be the only one that was married.
Anyway, this book was a good, and quite a fun, read, and if you are ever wanting to understand just exactly what Plato is on about when reading his dialogues, then this definitely makes a pretty good primer.
31 January 2021
I was rather surprised to be wandering through a second-hand bookshop and discover a paperback copy of one of Manny Rayner’s books. Like, I suspected that all of his works were e-books (and I’m not a particularly big fan of e-books because, well, I like physical books), so yeah, this was quite a pleasant surprise. It also seemed as if he wrote the foreword while in Adelaide, which was another surprise because Adelaide’s sort of one of those places that only Australians know about (unless there is another Adelaide out there that I didn’t know about).
There are other things that I learnt from this book as well, such as that Madonna plays chess, and is apparently pretty good at it. Being one of those people that grew up with Madonna on the radio, we tend to put her in the category of pop singer, and when it was announced that she had joined the Kaballah, people basically laughed because the idea of Madonna having a serious religious outlook just didn’t seem to make all that much sense. Then again, when one tends to build up an image, it can be pretty difficult shaking people’s perceptions of you, especially when you are a public figure like Madonna.
As for the book, well, yeah, it was pretty good. Okay, being somebody who has read a lot of Plato, coming to this book wasn’t really all that new, but the way Manny Rayner puts the arguments into context, and helps us understand them by using modern characters, makes what tends to be some rather difficult concepts into easily digestible tidbits. Further, the ‘but seriously’ bits at the end also help put them into context, and works to explain what has just happened.
Yeah, Plato really isn’t one of the easiest people to understand, and of course, we can’t be guaranteed that what he wrote is actually what Socrates said. He does have this habit of putting a lot of ideas into Socrates’ mouth, something that isn’t lost on Rayner, especially when he does the bit on the Crito.
Of course, there are other aspects of Greek Culture that are explored as well, parts that would no doubt make us moderns cringe, and I’m not talking about the treatment of women, or of the fact that they kept slaves. Mind you, when this was pointed out to me in Classic Studies, way back during my arts degree, my initial reaction was ‘but surely Socrates wasn’t like that’. The problem is that I think he was, and it is also interesting that out of many of the famous Greek philosophers, he seemed to be the only one that was married.
Anyway, this book was a good, and quite a fun, read, and if you are ever wanting to understand just exactly what Plato is on about when reading his dialogues, then this definitely makes a pretty good primer.
January 29, 2019
Stick with the originals ... you will learn far more.
If you choose to read this based on the author’s other stated intent to “... make you laugh ...” even worse. Very few laughs here; except, the obvious one on the reader for wasting his time.
Neither educational nor entertaining. Avoid this book.
P.S. Hopefully this will teach me to read the text and not the just the numerical rating of reviews. This is especially true for something that has less than a few dozen reviews when considering its purchase.
P.P.S. After going back and reading the reviews and associated comments, I think Goodreads should add a checkbox for reviewers. It should be something like “I have read the book and have no relationship with the author.” Goodreads should then exclude from its calculation of numerical rating any review that has not had that box checked.
If you choose to read this based on the author’s other stated intent to “... make you laugh ...” even worse. Very few laughs here; except, the obvious one on the reader for wasting his time.
Neither educational nor entertaining. Avoid this book.
P.S. Hopefully this will teach me to read the text and not the just the numerical rating of reviews. This is especially true for something that has less than a few dozen reviews when considering its purchase.
P.P.S. After going back and reading the reviews and associated comments, I think Goodreads should add a checkbox for reviewers. It should be something like “I have read the book and have no relationship with the author.” Goodreads should then exclude from its calculation of numerical rating any review that has not had that box checked.
July 27, 2020
At age 21(also my current age), I realised that books are a thing. In my search for good books, GoodReads was a helpful tool, and meny of the books I wanted to read was reviewed by the author of this book. So I checked out his profile, and to my surprise, he had written a book, an comical introdution to Socrates. And since this guy looks like he could be a good friend of Terence McKenna I decided to buy it.
I am really glad i did.
The book put me in to a philosopical mood and made new ideas and thoughts blossom, it is a book that made me realize that i really like philosphy. I have always enjoyed the act of philosophizing- at least i hope that is what I'm been doing - and now I am motivated to read more philosophy; first off all it puts me in a philosophical state (which has been very positive); second, it is within books i have found the seeds of new thoughts and ideas.
This is maybe less of an review and more a 'thank you' letter to the athour. Very good book, had a lot of fun reading it. I will definitely be reading more about Socrates, and the character Manny created will definitely be the one I will have in mind while doing so.
I am really glad i did.
The book put me in to a philosopical mood and made new ideas and thoughts blossom, it is a book that made me realize that i really like philosphy. I have always enjoyed the act of philosophizing- at least i hope that is what I'm been doing - and now I am motivated to read more philosophy; first off all it puts me in a philosophical state (which has been very positive); second, it is within books i have found the seeds of new thoughts and ideas.
This is maybe less of an review and more a 'thank you' letter to the athour. Very good book, had a lot of fun reading it. I will definitely be reading more about Socrates, and the character Manny created will definitely be the one I will have in mind while doing so.
April 26, 2021
I've always been reluctant to foray into Socrates and Plato because I thought they were outdated or just crazy men talking about utopian societies. But nearly every idea that Manny picked here was extremely relevant. I'm convinced enough to give Socrates and Plato a shot.
It's a brilliant idea to introduce philosophy in the form of parody. Wish Manny released more such books. Am I greedy or what?
EDIT: Just realised that Godel, Escher, Bach followed a similar format of parody/dialogue followed by a formal discussion of the topic at hand. Is there a word for such a format?
It's a brilliant idea to introduce philosophy in the form of parody. Wish Manny released more such books. Am I greedy or what?
EDIT: Just realised that Godel, Escher, Bach followed a similar format of parody/dialogue followed by a formal discussion of the topic at hand. Is there a word for such a format?
January 25, 2020
Loved it, refreshingly different!
April 17, 2021
Funny. Smart. Surprisingly stirring.
Why isn't there more of this sort of thing? Commentary which is neither flippant nor sycophantic nor lifelessly academic, and speaks to the actual experience of a human genuinely trying to engage with a difficult classic.
Why isn't there more of this sort of thing? Commentary which is neither flippant nor sycophantic nor lifelessly academic, and speaks to the actual experience of a human genuinely trying to engage with a difficult classic.
July 10, 2019
Great book. Love it very much.
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