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Ryan's Bed
I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.
I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should've left...
I didn’t.
I didn’t jump out.
I didn’t get embarrassed.
I relaxed.
And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.
I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could've stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should've left...
I didn’t.
I didn’t jump out.
I didn’t get embarrassed.
I relaxed.
And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.
I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could've stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
9 pages, Audible Audio
First published January 21, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,509 reviews
January 18, 2018
4 stars!
When I read the blurb for Ryan’s Bed, I thought it would be a sob fest. If you know me, that means I was dying to read it! Add in the gorgeous cover, and I was so excited to get my hands on this book. Honestly, I expected to cry my way through it. Imagine my surprise when I made it to the last chapter without shedding a single tear. Then, I read the last page. And I sobbed. For like an hour after reading the book, I was crying and thinking and crying some more. That last tid-bit of information shook me to my core.
Mackenzie, along with her parents, little brother, and twin sister, have just moved states due to her father’s work promotion. She doesn't really know anyone except her family, and she’s getting ready to start her senior year. Mackenzie is the… average one in her family. Both her siblings are extraordinary and she feels plain in comparison. One day shortly after moving, her life is turned upside down. Her twin sister, Willow, kills herself.
Mackenzie is the person who finds her, and as you can imagine, it’s traumatic for her. She can’t eat, can’t sleep, and doesn’t know what to do with herself. Then, she finds herself in Ryan’s bed. Ryan is a guy who Mackenzie hardly knows. She’s at his parents house and ends up crawling in his bed, at first thinking it’s his sister's. In this bed she finds comfort. She can finally sleep, and just be for a while.
I LOVED Ryan. I loved Ryan and Mackenzie’s relationship. It started off as just friendship, and Ryan was there for Mackenzie unlike anyone else. He understood her pain and let her be herself, let her react how she needed to react and feel what she needed to feel.
This story is very much a story of self-discovery, dealing with grief, family issues, and yes- even falling in love. The family aspect was very important, I think. I liked that we got to see how the entire family reacted to this death, how everyone coped, and eventually tried to heal together. Books like this aren’t easy to read. This subject matter is difficult for a lot of people. Anytime I hear of suicide, my heart breaks. Especially teen suicide. I think this is an important book for people to read.
What I loved most about this story is the strength of both Ryan and Mackenzie. And the ending… I’ll say it again. I got chills. It was so unexpected. And It’s still on my mind. This is a powerful story that will captivate you like only Tijan can! If you’re looking for an unforgettable read, pick up Ryan’s Bed!
When I read the blurb for Ryan’s Bed, I thought it would be a sob fest. If you know me, that means I was dying to read it! Add in the gorgeous cover, and I was so excited to get my hands on this book. Honestly, I expected to cry my way through it. Imagine my surprise when I made it to the last chapter without shedding a single tear. Then, I read the last page. And I sobbed. For like an hour after reading the book, I was crying and thinking and crying some more. That last tid-bit of information shook me to my core.
Mackenzie, along with her parents, little brother, and twin sister, have just moved states due to her father’s work promotion. She doesn't really know anyone except her family, and she’s getting ready to start her senior year. Mackenzie is the… average one in her family. Both her siblings are extraordinary and she feels plain in comparison. One day shortly after moving, her life is turned upside down. Her twin sister, Willow, kills herself.
She’d been the social one
The engaging one
The perfect one.
Mackenzie is the person who finds her, and as you can imagine, it’s traumatic for her. She can’t eat, can’t sleep, and doesn’t know what to do with herself. Then, she finds herself in Ryan’s bed. Ryan is a guy who Mackenzie hardly knows. She’s at his parents house and ends up crawling in his bed, at first thinking it’s his sister's. In this bed she finds comfort. She can finally sleep, and just be for a while.
I woke that morning in Ryan’s arms, I felt a little less crazy. I felt a little bit better. And I felt a little more whole.
I LOVED Ryan. I loved Ryan and Mackenzie’s relationship. It started off as just friendship, and Ryan was there for Mackenzie unlike anyone else. He understood her pain and let her be herself, let her react how she needed to react and feel what she needed to feel.
This story is very much a story of self-discovery, dealing with grief, family issues, and yes- even falling in love. The family aspect was very important, I think. I liked that we got to see how the entire family reacted to this death, how everyone coped, and eventually tried to heal together. Books like this aren’t easy to read. This subject matter is difficult for a lot of people. Anytime I hear of suicide, my heart breaks. Especially teen suicide. I think this is an important book for people to read.
What I loved most about this story is the strength of both Ryan and Mackenzie. And the ending… I’ll say it again. I got chills. It was so unexpected. And It’s still on my mind. This is a powerful story that will captivate you like only Tijan can! If you’re looking for an unforgettable read, pick up Ryan’s Bed!
January 24, 2018
I am torn between angry and heartbroken.
You don't need to know anything else about Ryan's Bed except that it narrates the story of an eighteen year old girl, Mackenzie, and her life after the suicide of her twin sister. It shows how tremendous grief can tear a family apart, and how cruel and malicious teens can be in order to become popular. How a strange boy and his compassion can help pull yourself together after your world crumbles and, mainly, how not talking about what bothers you, and not sharing your sorrow, can be lethal. It does not glorify suicide, nor elaborates on the reasons why. It simply depicts the consequences to the ones left behind.
The theme Tijan chose is sensitive, but she treated it with the necessary respect. I can't even begin to understand what goes through a person's mind in order to take such an irrevocable decision, but I always thought that choosing to end your life is the easy way out. Since that sounds rather harsh, allow me to explain. Real life is full of struggles, burdens and obstacles. For example - and mind that I lead an easy life compared to the pain I witness daily - I can't count the times I've felt emotionally drained, or hurt and desperate, wondering when it'll finally stop. I can't count the times I've shut myself down, and alienated friends, because I craved isolation. All those times, the way out was simple; read a book or spend time with family, even though I was feeling particularly antisocial. Every person has a coping mechanism of their own, and yes, sometimes it may be really hard to find one, but there's always another way out. Something or someone worth fighting for. Being a teenager, like Willow, is harder, since it's the epitome of drama; first loves, image problems, popularity, high grades etc. But when you're a teenager, sometimes you forget that you have the whole world at your feet, endless possibilities and roads, and -if not all of them- at least a great number depends solely on you. How can you throw your life away? How can you be so selfish that you numb your own pain by destroying the lives of the ones who love you? Because let's face it, it's not only the life of one person that ends with a suicide. It's the mother, the father, the sibling, the spouse, the friend who has to deal with your absence, with the question whether they were not enough to keep you with them, who go on with a hole in their chests that will never heal. What I'm saying? I'm angry at Willow, for what she threw away and the damage she inflicted to her loved ones. But I'm also mad at her parents who put their own grief above their own child, and stopped being parents. I am angry at those horrible high-school girls who were willing to take advantage of such a delicate and raw wound in order to achieve their petty purposes. And I am angry at Mackenzie, for ignoring the pain and doing stuff out of character because she couldn't care or because she wanted to feel something, anything.
I am also sad. Tijan depicted with raw clarity Mackenzie's trauma, and I was constantly swallowed by her darkness and despair. There were times I closed the book, and was in such a foul mood that I couldn't stand being around people, because of the darkness and the ache in my heart. And partially, that's the reason I rated Ryan's Bed with 3.5 stars. As contradictory as it may sound, I wanted to finish it because I wanted to breathe again. To shove away the burden of Mackenzie's grief. And that's when I realized that if I, a reader, couldn't handle the sorrow, then it was unfair to stay mad at Mackenzie for trying to survive, to make the day, using any means necessary.
In this different and consuming story, Ryan's role and his whole relationship with Mackenzie was an oasis. The refreshing thing about them was that there were zero misunderstandings. Ryan was always there, supporting Mackenzie, giving her what she needed. And it was a deeply satisfying sentiment, witnessing the kind side of humankind. He was sweet, caring and thoughtful, the only one who didn't shy away from Mackenzie's mood swings and breakdowns. He was her haven, and they created something beautiful out of the ugliness of loss.
Family relationships were thoroughly explored, and the high-school drama spiced things up but also helped, in its own, twisted way, Mackenzie's journey to acceptance. She was resilient, a survivor, a source of strength for those around her. And Ryan was hers.
Ryan's Bed was a meaningful, powerful and sweet novel, but I don't think I'd be able to read it again. A catchy closing line, though, is not the one I'm using this time. If you feel trapped, TALK. If you feel incompetent, TALK. Your life matters, and there's always, always someone whose reality is beautiful thanks to YOU. You're not the only one who hurts, find your own source of strength, and STAY ALIVE, for your family, and yourself.
*ARC generously provided by the author via Nina Bocci in exchange for an honest review*
“My face. My body. My heart - it all went with her, because she was me.
My twin sister killed herself on June twenty-ninth.
We would've been eighteen the next day.”
You don't need to know anything else about Ryan's Bed except that it narrates the story of an eighteen year old girl, Mackenzie, and her life after the suicide of her twin sister. It shows how tremendous grief can tear a family apart, and how cruel and malicious teens can be in order to become popular. How a strange boy and his compassion can help pull yourself together after your world crumbles and, mainly, how not talking about what bothers you, and not sharing your sorrow, can be lethal. It does not glorify suicide, nor elaborates on the reasons why. It simply depicts the consequences to the ones left behind.
“Her name was Willow, and she left me.”
The theme Tijan chose is sensitive, but she treated it with the necessary respect. I can't even begin to understand what goes through a person's mind in order to take such an irrevocable decision, but I always thought that choosing to end your life is the easy way out. Since that sounds rather harsh, allow me to explain. Real life is full of struggles, burdens and obstacles. For example - and mind that I lead an easy life compared to the pain I witness daily - I can't count the times I've felt emotionally drained, or hurt and desperate, wondering when it'll finally stop. I can't count the times I've shut myself down, and alienated friends, because I craved isolation. All those times, the way out was simple; read a book or spend time with family, even though I was feeling particularly antisocial. Every person has a coping mechanism of their own, and yes, sometimes it may be really hard to find one, but there's always another way out. Something or someone worth fighting for. Being a teenager, like Willow, is harder, since it's the epitome of drama; first loves, image problems, popularity, high grades etc. But when you're a teenager, sometimes you forget that you have the whole world at your feet, endless possibilities and roads, and -if not all of them- at least a great number depends solely on you. How can you throw your life away? How can you be so selfish that you numb your own pain by destroying the lives of the ones who love you? Because let's face it, it's not only the life of one person that ends with a suicide. It's the mother, the father, the sibling, the spouse, the friend who has to deal with your absence, with the question whether they were not enough to keep you with them, who go on with a hole in their chests that will never heal. What I'm saying? I'm angry at Willow, for what she threw away and the damage she inflicted to her loved ones. But I'm also mad at her parents who put their own grief above their own child, and stopped being parents. I am angry at those horrible high-school girls who were willing to take advantage of such a delicate and raw wound in order to achieve their petty purposes. And I am angry at Mackenzie, for ignoring the pain and doing stuff out of character because she couldn't care or because she wanted to feel something, anything.
I am also sad. Tijan depicted with raw clarity Mackenzie's trauma, and I was constantly swallowed by her darkness and despair. There were times I closed the book, and was in such a foul mood that I couldn't stand being around people, because of the darkness and the ache in my heart. And partially, that's the reason I rated Ryan's Bed with 3.5 stars. As contradictory as it may sound, I wanted to finish it because I wanted to breathe again. To shove away the burden of Mackenzie's grief. And that's when I realized that if I, a reader, couldn't handle the sorrow, then it was unfair to stay mad at Mackenzie for trying to survive, to make the day, using any means necessary.
In this different and consuming story, Ryan's role and his whole relationship with Mackenzie was an oasis. The refreshing thing about them was that there were zero misunderstandings. Ryan was always there, supporting Mackenzie, giving her what she needed. And it was a deeply satisfying sentiment, witnessing the kind side of humankind. He was sweet, caring and thoughtful, the only one who didn't shy away from Mackenzie's mood swings and breakdowns. He was her haven, and they created something beautiful out of the ugliness of loss.
Family relationships were thoroughly explored, and the high-school drama spiced things up but also helped, in its own, twisted way, Mackenzie's journey to acceptance. She was resilient, a survivor, a source of strength for those around her. And Ryan was hers.
Ryan's Bed was a meaningful, powerful and sweet novel, but I don't think I'd be able to read it again. A catchy closing line, though, is not the one I'm using this time. If you feel trapped, TALK. If you feel incompetent, TALK. Your life matters, and there's always, always someone whose reality is beautiful thanks to YOU. You're not the only one who hurts, find your own source of strength, and STAY ALIVE, for your family, and yourself.
*ARC generously provided by the author via Nina Bocci in exchange for an honest review*
January 15, 2018
RYAN’S BED: is a stand alone YA romance novel by Tijan. Spoken in Mackenzie's own words.
This author has a magical way of cloaking her readers in a safe sense of security until the rug is literally pulled right out from under you. The very first chapter reeled me in so fast, like a fish on a hook I was completely hooked, then when I realised exactly what my eyes were reading my heart just dropped. But like a glutton for punishment I had to keep on reading.
Mackenzie's family had just recently moved to Oregon due to their father getting a promotion so what should've been a happy time was shrouded in mourning. A family cut to the bone. Because what would've been a day of celebration on June 29th between twins on the day of their eighteenth birthday was anything but because Willow had decided to end her life and Mackenzie was the one that found her that day in their shared bathroom unresponsive. Dead. Gone. One twin left broken beyond repair. Shattered.
She'd been the social one
The engaging one
The perfect one.
With her parents taking care of all the funeral arrangements, Mackenzie and her brother Robbie stay at their father’s business associates home for the time being until the the most saddest day is behind them.
This is where I was hoping we'd get to read about the funeral, but sadly we never got that, I just wanted to stay in that emotional mindset a wee bit longer, to feel emotions that I don't necessarily feel on a day to day basis which is where I rely on authors to pull those out of me.
My insides felt pulled apart and put together wrong. Nothing felt right anymore.
It is here where Mackenzie walks into Ryan’s room getting lost on her way to his sisters bedroom and literally crawls into his bed. But it’s in his bed that she finally finds solace and can blissfully succumb to sleep.
Reading this I couldn't imagine how hard it was for the two siblings being entrusted into strangers care, a family they didn't know. My heart literally broke to smithereens for these two.
We weren't friends with these people. We barely knew them. We had no other friends or family here
Ryan became her safety blanket out of everyone, he seemed to understand what she was going through the most. Leaving his family and moving into a second new home after selling the other new one Ryan and Mackenzie texted daily until high school started back up, starting a new school and the last year of high school at that was another low blow for Mackenzie without her twin beside her, but Ryan was beside her every step of the way.
He shielded me, protected me. My head was above water with him. Without him I would sink.
Ryan came across so much older than his eighteen year old self in this book, he was her rock when she needed someone, her shelter when things got bad, this was so much more than your typical ya romance novel, we saw so many layers of Mackenzie, the broken girl, the lost girl, the numb girl but above all else the strong girl.
As to be expected when dealing with this age group and the Queen of high school drama Ryan’s bed is no different when it comes to Tijan delivering us all the angst and heartbreak that she could unleash on us. Everything this author hoped us readers to feel, I felt, admittedly I even shed a tear or two, then the ending rushed at me and I sat there shrouded in sadness. This book gutted me on so many levels.
May 6, 2021
I'm sitting here, still reeling from a book that was profoundly touching, raw, and emotionally moving. Being a long-term fan of Tijan did not prepare me for this tremendously beautiful story. A story that carries a message. A message that breaks hearts all over the world. A message that can easily affect you and me.
I thought Ryan's Bed would be a typical Tijan novel, but it exceeded all my preconceived expectations. And by typical I mean that it would have everything I've come to love about her novels. Tijan excels at writing young adult novels that are filled with teenage angst and emotional ups and downs. She writes entertaining novels that always feature strong, and feisty heroines. They often include a group of true friends who will stand by the heroine when everything else around her crumbles, and a swoony hero that is devoted to the heroine from the very beginning. All these ingredients make for a spellbinding tale.
Continue reading this review on the blog
___________________________________
Find more reviews and book recommendations on my blog.
Find me on Bookstagram.
I thought Ryan's Bed would be a typical Tijan novel, but it exceeded all my preconceived expectations. And by typical I mean that it would have everything I've come to love about her novels. Tijan excels at writing young adult novels that are filled with teenage angst and emotional ups and downs. She writes entertaining novels that always feature strong, and feisty heroines. They often include a group of true friends who will stand by the heroine when everything else around her crumbles, and a swoony hero that is devoted to the heroine from the very beginning. All these ingredients make for a spellbinding tale.
Continue reading this review on the blog
___________________________________
Find more reviews and book recommendations on my blog.
Find me on Bookstagram.
January 24, 2018
I love Tijan.
She knows this.
I tell her all the time.
But not in a weird way.
In more of a hey you're super talented and we should be best friends way, so when she gave me an ARC for Ryans bed, I jumped at the chance to read it, I devour all her books even when I'm on deadline for my own books (much to my publishers dismay).
Going into this book felt like a different experience than other Tijan books, it still had her trademark angst but I think the difference was, the moment you crack the first page you know something epic is going to happen to you and you know, it's going to hurt, deeply.
Normally I can read one of her books in a few hours.
This one took me three days.
Not because it wasn't incredible but because I had to process everything that was happening to me, to the characters, and inside the story. It was filled with deep layers causing you to question if what you were seeing really was reality or just sadness manifesting itself in the only way it knows how.
We all deal with grief differently, we all go through different stages, this book actually brought me back to the time when I used to counsel young kids (before I started writing) it reminded me of the pain of loss especially when you're trying to so hard to survive in a tumultuous world like high school. It was everything.
And that ending.
*Slow clap*
I both loved and hated it.
I even forced my husband listen to me talk about it this morning because I was still processing, that, dear folks, is a good book and a very talented author ;) Hugs, Tijan, thanks for the honor of reading your work!
She knows this.
I tell her all the time.
But not in a weird way.
In more of a hey you're super talented and we should be best friends way, so when she gave me an ARC for Ryans bed, I jumped at the chance to read it, I devour all her books even when I'm on deadline for my own books (much to my publishers dismay).
Going into this book felt like a different experience than other Tijan books, it still had her trademark angst but I think the difference was, the moment you crack the first page you know something epic is going to happen to you and you know, it's going to hurt, deeply.
Normally I can read one of her books in a few hours.
This one took me three days.
Not because it wasn't incredible but because I had to process everything that was happening to me, to the characters, and inside the story. It was filled with deep layers causing you to question if what you were seeing really was reality or just sadness manifesting itself in the only way it knows how.
We all deal with grief differently, we all go through different stages, this book actually brought me back to the time when I used to counsel young kids (before I started writing) it reminded me of the pain of loss especially when you're trying to so hard to survive in a tumultuous world like high school. It was everything.
And that ending.
*Slow clap*
I both loved and hated it.
I even forced my husband listen to me talk about it this morning because I was still processing, that, dear folks, is a good book and a very talented author ;) Hugs, Tijan, thanks for the honor of reading your work!
Want to read
January 22, 2018LIVE! | AMZ US | AMZ UK | B&N | KOBO | iBOOKS |
HE SOUNDS LIKE “HOME”!
Stand-alone.
LIVE! | AMZ US | AMZ UK | B&N | KOBO | iBOOKS |
Blurb:
I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.
I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should've left...
I didn’t.
I didn’t jump out.
I didn’t get embarrassed.
I relaxed.
And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.
I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could've stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
HE SOUNDS LIKE “HOME”!
Stand-alone.
LIVE! | AMZ US | AMZ UK | B&N | KOBO | iBOOKS |
Blurb:
I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.
I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should've left...
I didn’t.
I didn’t jump out.
I didn’t get embarrassed.
I relaxed.
And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.
I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.
The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could've stayed forever, I would have.
He became my sanctuary.
Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.
July 16, 2023
Re read July 2023
November 23, 2018
NOW LIVE!
Amazon US * Amazon UK
I'm already a big fan of Tijan's books but this story blew me out of the water and quickly became my favorite from the author. I have full respect for someone who can write a story about a subject most others would glance over or try to romanticize without writing the full effect of it. Suicide is not pretty, but it can't be ignored and I'm so happy there are authors out there like Tijan that aren't afraid to delve into that topic.
Reading this book shows you that suicide does not end with someones death, it then lives on in those that loved that person. We're introduced to MacKenzie on her 18th birthday, the same night her twin sister committed suicide. It's also the night she meet's Ryan, after accidentally crawling into his bed instead of his sister's. Ryan becomes her safe place, the one person that seems to understand what she's going through. Through her last year of High School, she's without her twin, but Ryan is there to help her find her way.
This book had me bawling my eyes out at the weirdest times, and I feel like that speaks to just how real it was. The author didn't just fill the book with noticeably sad moments with MacKenzie and her family. Instead it showed the steps to her healing after such a tragic thing in her life where even at moments you would read and think, "oh she's finally getting out of the house" you will actually read and feel how painful it was for MacKenzie to try and move on with her life.
The book is a romance, I'm not going to deny that, but it was so much more than that which is why I've pretty much rambled on this whole review about nothing more than the brilliant writing. Ryan and MacKenzie had more than just a High School romance for me, they were that couple that proves even though suicide is not pretty, as I stated above, for the survivors it can still lead to a beautiful life.
ARC kindly provided in exchange for an honest review.
Amazon US * Amazon UK
I'm already a big fan of Tijan's books but this story blew me out of the water and quickly became my favorite from the author. I have full respect for someone who can write a story about a subject most others would glance over or try to romanticize without writing the full effect of it. Suicide is not pretty, but it can't be ignored and I'm so happy there are authors out there like Tijan that aren't afraid to delve into that topic.
Reading this book shows you that suicide does not end with someones death, it then lives on in those that loved that person. We're introduced to MacKenzie on her 18th birthday, the same night her twin sister committed suicide. It's also the night she meet's Ryan, after accidentally crawling into his bed instead of his sister's. Ryan becomes her safe place, the one person that seems to understand what she's going through. Through her last year of High School, she's without her twin, but Ryan is there to help her find her way.
This book had me bawling my eyes out at the weirdest times, and I feel like that speaks to just how real it was. The author didn't just fill the book with noticeably sad moments with MacKenzie and her family. Instead it showed the steps to her healing after such a tragic thing in her life where even at moments you would read and think, "oh she's finally getting out of the house" you will actually read and feel how painful it was for MacKenzie to try and move on with her life.
The book is a romance, I'm not going to deny that, but it was so much more than that which is why I've pretty much rambled on this whole review about nothing more than the brilliant writing. Ryan and MacKenzie had more than just a High School romance for me, they were that couple that proves even though suicide is not pretty, as I stated above, for the survivors it can still lead to a beautiful life.
ARC kindly provided in exchange for an honest review.
January 10, 2018
I am a big fan of the "Fallen Crest High" series, and when I signed up for this ARC, it was with the hope that this book would resemble that awesome series a bit.
I got what I wanted....partialy :P
Parts of this book definitely had a "Fallen Crest" feel to it...but other parts were...dare I say....so much better. This book gutted me from the moment I started reading the first page..... and we all know how much I love a good cryfest ;)
This book starts of on June 29th.... the day MacKenzie turns 18.... the same day her twin sister Willow takes her own life....
MacKenzie and her family have just moved to another town, because of her dad's work. After a horrible tragedy strikes this family down, MacKenzie and her 8 year old brother Robbie, are left with a bussiness associate of their dad's. Their parents have to take care of all sorts of things, and now MacKenzie is stuck with these strangers...not knowing how to feel.....how to be....
That night she accidently crawls in bed with Ryan, the son of the family. She doesn't know why, but being with him makes her feel safe...and Ryan let's her stay. From then on the only way she can get some sleep, is when she sleeps with him. So she does... every night....and the two of them only grow closer and closer.
Ryan knows what it's like to lose someone and so he understands MacKenzie and he really wants to be there for her...... the fact that they are both attracted to one another also plays a part....
But things are not easy.... Mac is very messed up in her head.....her parents won't even look at her, and the girls at the new school hate her, because they want Ryan for themselves....
Mac is trying her very best not to fall apart...... but maybe falling apart is the way to heal....
This book was a real suprise to me.... I did not expect to be emotionally gutted. I cried a lot tears, but thanksfully I also smiled a lot of smiles ;)
So far this is definitely my favorite of this author ! If you don't have a problem reading YA, you should really give this one a try. For those who want to know, there isn't a lot of steam in this one, and what is there is not very detailed....
There were a few times when I thought Mac was acting a bit childish, and then I remembered that she only just turned 18.....made me feel so freaking old :P
I highly recommend and now I am off to re-read Fallen Crest High !!
My reviews are posted on DirtyBooksObsession
February 17, 2018
4.5 ★★★★ Stars
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Type: Standalone
POV: First Person – Female
"I woke that morning in Ryan’s arms, I felt a little less crazy. I felt a little bit better. And I felt a little more whole."
Mackenzie aka Mac has just woken up to her worse nightmare. Life has never been amazing for this seventeen year old teenager. She always felt like an outcast with her eleven year old brother Robbie; who was a natural genius and her identical twin sister; Willow who always excels at everything. Moving to a new city was already a hard change but she never expected to find her sister's dead body and now having to deal with new drama at her new school.
"My face. My body. My heart-it all went with her, because she was me. My twin sister killed herself on June twenty-ninth. We would've been eighteen the next day."
Ryan Jensen; was the most popular senior in high school. He was the basketball star and every girl was madly in love with him. Ryan was down to earth and I absolutely loved him. He really didn't care about popularity at all he just wanted to do what he enjoyed. Ryan never expected to find Mac in his bedroom though; it caught him by surprise but he wanted to make her welcome to the new town and he understood the grieving she was going through with the loss of her sister.
"I thought no one would understand what it felt like to hurt so badly that you just wanted to go with that person."…"Until you."
I actually was so excited when I found out Tijan was writing this story; I am a sucker for deep feels books and especially if they will make me ugly cry (I know whatever lol). I love pain and I felt this book was incredible; it delivered all the feels and emotions I crave for in a book. Because I am pain shhlut I re read the sad parts like three times haha.
"I couldn't bear to see myself, so how could I make you look at me?" I whispered. I missed her. I wanted her. I didn't want my dad's arms around me. I wanted hers around me. "I don't want her to be a ghost, Dad."
This book gutted me, I think I cried for hours because all the feels and all the emotions. I absolutely loved everything about it. This book deals with depression, teen suicide and high school drama. It may be a hard topic for readers but I honestly think is important to understand the pressure teenagers really go through each day and is so sad that people ignore it until is too late. I felt so much for all the characters in this story. Mac is going through her grieving and she sees her twin sister everywhere until the point that she feels she is going crazy. She doesn't want to speak up because she doesn't want to be judge or be told she is crazier than how she already feels. The parents not only lost one of their daughters but their entire world fell apart they didn't know how to come back from it. I imagine how hard Mac's life was after discovering her sister's dead body looking in the mirror and seeing herself and just seeing her sister and remembering her just by looking in the mirror; I am sure the parents struggled with that as well.
"We all tried to cope in our own way, whether wrong or right, healthy or unhealthy."
Overall; this story will be one I would never forget because I loved it so much; Mac and Ryan were such a great characters and seeing all their struggles and accomplishments made this story unique and emotional for me. Ryan connected with Mac so quickly because he went to a similar situation couple of years before and felt lost as well. We see a lot of high school drama with Ryan being popular and Mac the new girl in school who captures Ryan's attention is bound to be drama and I freaking loved it.
Ryan's Bed is an excellent book about loss, grief, pain, depression, family, friendships, healing and love. This book would be appealing to readers who are open minded and are not afraid to venture into sad topics.
Book Info:
The song Let it all out by Birdy + Rhodes is perfect for this book! I've been listening on repeat lol
Release date: January 22nd
Amazon Kindle: will go live 1/22/18
iBooks: http://apple.co/2j3mK1D
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2yTnSLY
Nook: http://bit.ly/2mMUghK
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
January 28, 2018
4.5 Stars
"In Ryan’s arms, I felt a little less crazy. I felt a little better. And I felt a little bit more whole."
I very much enjoyed this story and I felt that the author’s writing has improved since the last time I have read her. I do think there were a few hiccups along the way, but overall I found this to be a very solid, memorable, YA read!
"In Ryan’s arms, I felt a little less crazy. I felt a little better. And I felt a little bit more whole."
I very much enjoyed this story and I felt that the author’s writing has improved since the last time I have read her. I do think there were a few hiccups along the way, but overall I found this to be a very solid, memorable, YA read!
January 22, 2018
There’s something really really special about this book. It’s beautiful, it’s heartbreaking, gut wrenching at times, but also so full of love and healing. I simply loved it and absolutely recommend it!
February 2, 2018
This was just an ok read for me. I expected a different kind of story than I got! I found this to be high in angst and low in the romance end of things.
I did love Ryan though! He made the book, I wish his POV was included but it wasn’t. Mackenzie was the only POV that was included and she was dealing with so much grief that it over powered the story.
I do love Tijan as an author and my rating has nothing to do with the quality of her writing. This was all about my preference in a romance type of book. For readers who enjoy high angst, give this one a go!
I did love Ryan though! He made the book, I wish his POV was included but it wasn’t. Mackenzie was the only POV that was included and she was dealing with so much grief that it over powered the story.
I do love Tijan as an author and my rating has nothing to do with the quality of her writing. This was all about my preference in a romance type of book. For readers who enjoy high angst, give this one a go!
March 19, 2021
“It’s only you.”
Ryan's Bed is a standalone NA Contemporary Romance with a complex plot and unforgettable characters. Mackenzie, a senior, just moved into a new town with her brother, twin sister, and parents. When tragedy strikes, she finds herself lost and completely alone. Because her family had just moved into the area, she wakes up in bed with a complete stranger. Ryan Jensen is a popular basketball player from a wealthy family. When his parents welcome Mackenzie and her brother to stay at his house while her parents sort through some trauma, a friendship unexpectedly blooms. Mackenzie doesn't know why but Ryan is the only person who can offer her comfort and any sense of peace as she tries to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart!
“There are layers of pain inside me. Pain that I can’t put into words, and underneath it all is hell. It’s raw and bloody. Agony. Suffering. Torture.”Told in Mackenzie's POV, Ryan's Bed is like nothing I have ever read before. The family dynamics paired with the intricacies of a person dealing with loss were thoroughly explored. Initially, I found myself concerned that grief might be too much for me to handle. On top of the main theme, I rarely indulge in high school romances as they tend to not feel believable to me, and yet, this is one read that I will never ever forget. The tempo of the read was fluid throughout and the unique exploration of the relationship between Mackenzie and Ryan and Mackenzie and her family is what made this book so unique. When you can live through someone's pain so viscerally and walk away feeling healed, you know the work is truly raw and beautifully crafted.
Overall, Ryan's Bed will appeal to readers who are drawn to stories focused on great loss and healing. Although I am still not a fan of high school-themed books, I would not hesitate to read another Tijan book in the future.
🎧This was an audible.com read 🎧
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
January 27, 2018
look at the cover...
it's very "dreamy" like...
love it...
And yet, NOW after finishing the book, I'm thinking that this beautiful COVER is misleading and it's more than just the notion that this is supposed to be YA/NA angsty drama, (like other Tijan's books) I have to admit I was a bit taken by surprise, especially with the ENDING.
Not only this story deals with pain and hurt over the loss of the loved one it's also a detailed process of coping with it and dealing with issues, self-doubts, self-questioning, grief, guilt and trying to find a way, a healthy way of expressing it all...
Cause sometimes, grief either brings a family together or it tear it apart...finding yourself in the middle of an emotional break down...and gripping alone for a shred of sanity finding the right person who would understand...like Mackenzie Malcom found in Ryan Jansen, who went through the similar...
So, Tijan is a master of YA angst, as I ve stared before, and she writes it clouded with this lurring suspenseful atmosphere, that you are bound to stay on the edge of your sit expecting some horrid revelation at any minute now...
And I usually love that, here somehow I found it a bit overbearing in teen drama stuff as I tried to solely focus on the grieving segment of it and emotional devastation.
And as for the very ending...hmmm
I have to admit that Tijan made me think and re-think about it, and I m not gonna reveal what it is about BUT it's enough to say that the very revelation made me pause and change the primarly aspect of the story I had from the beginning.
It made things a bit complicated as the ending gives you-the reader a choice in explaining the direction you want this story to go. In a way, it opens another sphere of dramaturgy and I thought how that didn't give me CLOSURE in a way I needed.
So, I can't just close the chapter with one final word or thought...this was in many ways a profound story on a difficult/heavy/sensitive subject and very intriguing finish and yet it made the questions more open than ever.
January 31, 2018
Tijan sure knows how to take a girl on one hell of a roller coaster ride of emotions. This was such an intense story, full of tragedy, heartbreak, love and healing. Get your box of tissues out and hug it like it's your bestie. You're going to need them.
January 11, 2018
**sigh** This is going to be a tough one to write. I’m seeing already that I’m in the minority when it comes to opinions about this book, but I’ve got to be honest.
From the synopsis, it’s clear that this book deals with some pretty heavy subject matter. I was prepared for an emotional read. I’m not quite sure what I got, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. This book was…something. I had a certain feeling throughout most of this book. Then I got to the end. And it all changed.
Unfortunately, this book had so much unrealized potential. I felt like the story got bogged down in cliched teen angst, unnecessary plot pit stops, and unrealistic scenes that were either confusing or eye-roll worthy.
I was so overwhelmed with the odd tangents and trying to piece together the story in my head, the real message of this book was lost to me. I’m in no place to tell an author how to tell their story, but many scenes/plot threads just seemed superfluous, and just got in the way of what could have been a powerful, evocative read.
And if I’m being honest, some things just plain didn’t make sense.
Then there was the ending. THAT ENDING. Holy hell. It was a punch to the gut. It was brilliant. But the rest of the story just didn’t live up to the ending, and it only made me more disappointed because it wasn’t until that end that I realized how much MORE this book could have been.
This book could have been stunning. It could have been so compelling. It could have been a game changer. Sadly, for me, it just wasn’t.
From the synopsis, it’s clear that this book deals with some pretty heavy subject matter. I was prepared for an emotional read. I’m not quite sure what I got, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. This book was…something. I had a certain feeling throughout most of this book. Then I got to the end. And it all changed.
Unfortunately, this book had so much unrealized potential. I felt like the story got bogged down in cliched teen angst, unnecessary plot pit stops, and unrealistic scenes that were either confusing or eye-roll worthy.
I was so overwhelmed with the odd tangents and trying to piece together the story in my head, the real message of this book was lost to me. I’m in no place to tell an author how to tell their story, but many scenes/plot threads just seemed superfluous, and just got in the way of what could have been a powerful, evocative read.
And if I’m being honest, some things just plain didn’t make sense.
Then there was the ending. THAT ENDING. Holy hell. It was a punch to the gut. It was brilliant. But the rest of the story just didn’t live up to the ending, and it only made me more disappointed because it wasn’t until that end that I realized how much MORE this book could have been.
This book could have been stunning. It could have been so compelling. It could have been a game changer. Sadly, for me, it just wasn’t.
April 13, 2018
I can’t even write an actual review.
This book was emotional, gut-wrenching, and still extremely beautiful.
It explores loss and grief in such a beautiful and real way.
I’ve honestly been blown away at the talent of this author. I’ve tried her work before and it didn’t click for me, but this book has changed everything.
Amazing. It deserves a slow clap... so *slow clap*
*this book MAY contain some instances that could be considered triggers*
This book was emotional, gut-wrenching, and still extremely beautiful.
It explores loss and grief in such a beautiful and real way.
I’ve honestly been blown away at the talent of this author. I’ve tried her work before and it didn’t click for me, but this book has changed everything.
Amazing. It deserves a slow clap... so *slow clap*
*this book MAY contain some instances that could be considered triggers*
January 20, 2018
5 raw stars
I received this ARC from the author in exchange for an honest opinion
Pfew! Where do I begin this review as my head is a mess right now?
Honestly the first chapters were just good but not very good for me. I thought “What have I done requesting this ARC? My rating will be a disaster!”
Mackenzie was a mess. She did not cry, she ignored the reality of what happened if she could, she fled in Ryan’s bed. Ryan became her crutch. The one person she latched onto to stay sane. The one who did not look at her like she was “the girl who lost her twin”. Some said she was a leech and that’s exactly how I saw her in the beginning.
What was she doing? She was channeling her dead sister so many times. She was impersonating Willow and even if I did not really know the Mackenzie “before” I did not want her to become a clone of Willow. I wanted to shout: stop being reckless. Stop trying to be her! Be you!
But that would have meant “Stop hurting! Stop coping as you can! Stop grieving!” and that wouldn’t have been right.
Because what Tijan did here is tell us everyone is grieving in his own way. There isn’t a good or bad way to grieve. You just do it the best you can. You can ignore what happened. Deny! Deny with all that you’ve got.
Or you can acknowledge but can’t stand it, not looking at your daughter anymore because she reminds you of what you’ve lost. Mackenzie was Willow’s twin and her parents could not bear to look at her anymore.
“I couldn’t bear to see myself, so how could I make you look at me?” I whispered.
I wanted to beat her parents. Seriously! I wanted to scream “Look at her! She lost her TWIN! Her other half! She is hurting and doing all kind of crazy and you don’t care!”.
I wanted…so many things.
I was a boiling mess with deep emotions churning in my belly ready to explode in a vomit of screams and rant.
That’s when you know the author did a brilliant work.
Tijan got me all in the story. Guts, heart and soul. Whole. With my leaky eyes. With my table filled with tissues. With my dog looking all frightened at her moma crying because Mackenzie and all this family HURT.
I thought at first that Ryan was very good for Mackenzie of course but I was slightly disappointed as he seemed not as Alpha as what Tijan’s got me used to when it comes to her heroes. Think Mason one of my top 5 book boyfriends channeling all the power and charisma. Being the biggest wolf of the pack. But all is embodied in one word above: “seemed”. By the end I knew that Ryan for all his calm and cool façade, his strength was undeniably Alpha.
I realize now that this review is messy as I did not speak about the plot or gave really coherent thoughts. That’s because my thoughts were not coherent. I was not thinking I was feeling!
Kudos to you Tijan because you tackled some really heavy topics here: grief, suicide, death and all the ways to Sunday to cope or not with it. You wrote that this book changed you. I can tell you it overflowed me like a tidal wave of sadness. By the end of my read I was stunned by unforeseen twists the biggest being the ending and I’ve been left with a whole new appreciation of your talent. I already loved your books but now you’ve really won my utmost respect for the intelligence and the raw truth of this story.
Here is an excerpt of Tijan’s acknowledgement:
“This book was so hard to write, not in the way where I felt like I was taking a chainsaw to a glacier, but in the way where I cried almost every time I wrote it or worked on it.”
“No sequel is planned and I left the ending how it is because I hope it will make you think. I hope it will make you reread the book, but see it in an almost totally different way. Out of all the books I’ve written, this is the only one that has changed me as a person.”
Find me on:
Wordpress: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook besties: Best Reading Blogs Ever
Instagram: @bewareofthereader
Twitter: @BewareOffReader
I received this ARC from the author in exchange for an honest opinion
Pfew! Where do I begin this review as my head is a mess right now?
Honestly the first chapters were just good but not very good for me. I thought “What have I done requesting this ARC? My rating will be a disaster!”
Mackenzie was a mess. She did not cry, she ignored the reality of what happened if she could, she fled in Ryan’s bed. Ryan became her crutch. The one person she latched onto to stay sane. The one who did not look at her like she was “the girl who lost her twin”. Some said she was a leech and that’s exactly how I saw her in the beginning.
What was she doing? She was channeling her dead sister so many times. She was impersonating Willow and even if I did not really know the Mackenzie “before” I did not want her to become a clone of Willow. I wanted to shout: stop being reckless. Stop trying to be her! Be you!
But that would have meant “Stop hurting! Stop coping as you can! Stop grieving!” and that wouldn’t have been right.
Because what Tijan did here is tell us everyone is grieving in his own way. There isn’t a good or bad way to grieve. You just do it the best you can. You can ignore what happened. Deny! Deny with all that you’ve got.
Or you can acknowledge but can’t stand it, not looking at your daughter anymore because she reminds you of what you’ve lost. Mackenzie was Willow’s twin and her parents could not bear to look at her anymore.
“I couldn’t bear to see myself, so how could I make you look at me?” I whispered.
I wanted to beat her parents. Seriously! I wanted to scream “Look at her! She lost her TWIN! Her other half! She is hurting and doing all kind of crazy and you don’t care!”.
I wanted…so many things.
I was a boiling mess with deep emotions churning in my belly ready to explode in a vomit of screams and rant.
That’s when you know the author did a brilliant work.
Tijan got me all in the story. Guts, heart and soul. Whole. With my leaky eyes. With my table filled with tissues. With my dog looking all frightened at her moma crying because Mackenzie and all this family HURT.
I thought at first that Ryan was very good for Mackenzie of course but I was slightly disappointed as he seemed not as Alpha as what Tijan’s got me used to when it comes to her heroes. Think Mason one of my top 5 book boyfriends channeling all the power and charisma. Being the biggest wolf of the pack. But all is embodied in one word above: “seemed”. By the end I knew that Ryan for all his calm and cool façade, his strength was undeniably Alpha.
I realize now that this review is messy as I did not speak about the plot or gave really coherent thoughts. That’s because my thoughts were not coherent. I was not thinking I was feeling!
Kudos to you Tijan because you tackled some really heavy topics here: grief, suicide, death and all the ways to Sunday to cope or not with it. You wrote that this book changed you. I can tell you it overflowed me like a tidal wave of sadness. By the end of my read I was stunned by unforeseen twists the biggest being the ending and I’ve been left with a whole new appreciation of your talent. I already loved your books but now you’ve really won my utmost respect for the intelligence and the raw truth of this story.
Here is an excerpt of Tijan’s acknowledgement:
“This book was so hard to write, not in the way where I felt like I was taking a chainsaw to a glacier, but in the way where I cried almost every time I wrote it or worked on it.”
“No sequel is planned and I left the ending how it is because I hope it will make you think. I hope it will make you reread the book, but see it in an almost totally different way. Out of all the books I’ve written, this is the only one that has changed me as a person.”
Find me on:
Wordpress: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook besties: Best Reading Blogs Ever
Instagram: @bewareofthereader
Twitter: @BewareOffReader
January 26, 2018
3 stars
Three star reviews are always the hardest to write, because while I didn’t love this book I didn’t hate it. It just falls into the I enjoyed it but it’s fairly forgettable to me category.
Tijan’s books are a guilty pleasure for me, she dishes out the angst and drama and I sit there and spoon and spoon and spoon it right up and then look to my dealer Tijan for another hit. The woman knows how to write teenage issues for adult eyes, and she does it well.
I liked the premise of this book and the idea of it more than the execution, a girl who lost her sister and crawls into the bed of a boy she doesn’t know needing sleep. Recipe for an addicting story yes? Well, 50% for me. I loved the first half of this book and it totally fizzled out after halfway. I wasn’t impressed by Ryan, and having read 20+ Tijan books now there are so many aspects of the story that just started to blend in with all her other books. I want something fresh, not something I’ve read before.
Anyways, if you are a Tijan-mega fan I am sure this is the book for you. An enjoyable read, but one I probably won’t remember well in a couple of months.
ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review
Follow me on ♥ Facebook ♥ Blog ♥ Instagram ♥ Twitter ♥
Three star reviews are always the hardest to write, because while I didn’t love this book I didn’t hate it. It just falls into the I enjoyed it but it’s fairly forgettable to me category.
Tijan’s books are a guilty pleasure for me, she dishes out the angst and drama and I sit there and spoon and spoon and spoon it right up and then look to my dealer Tijan for another hit. The woman knows how to write teenage issues for adult eyes, and she does it well.
I liked the premise of this book and the idea of it more than the execution, a girl who lost her sister and crawls into the bed of a boy she doesn’t know needing sleep. Recipe for an addicting story yes? Well, 50% for me. I loved the first half of this book and it totally fizzled out after halfway. I wasn’t impressed by Ryan, and having read 20+ Tijan books now there are so many aspects of the story that just started to blend in with all her other books. I want something fresh, not something I’ve read before.
Anyways, if you are a Tijan-mega fan I am sure this is the book for you. An enjoyable read, but one I probably won’t remember well in a couple of months.
ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review
Follow me on ♥ Facebook ♥ Blog ♥ Instagram ♥ Twitter ♥
January 24, 2018
DNF at 26%
I read blurb and I liked it. This was quite disappointment for me; there was too much high school drama with repeating ramlings. And I like to read YA in general. I was confused about Willow (of course I didn't stick with story long enough to found out more, but I didn't like MacKenzie thoughts about her), I didn't feel that Ryan and MacKenzie had any chemistry.
Last nail in the coffin to DNF this book was feeling that story was written by high school author.
I read blurb and I liked it. This was quite disappointment for me; there was too much high school drama with repeating ramlings. And I like to read YA in general. I was confused about Willow (of course I didn't stick with story long enough to found out more, but I didn't like MacKenzie thoughts about her), I didn't feel that Ryan and MacKenzie had any chemistry.
Last nail in the coffin to DNF this book was feeling that story was written by high school author.
September 17, 2023
4.5⭐
Genre ~ YA contemporary romance
Setting ~ Oregon
Publication date ~ January 21, 2018
Page Count ~ 277 (41 chapters +e)
Audio length ~ 9 hours 2 minutes
Narrator ~ Therese Plummer
POV ~ single 1st
Featuring ~ high school, suicide, grief, typical hs crap, friends to lovers, virgin, minimal steamage
*older read mini review*
Mackenzie's twin sister, Willow, committed suicide. The family moves to a different state for a job opportunity, so not many people know their story. Understandably, Mac is having a difficult time and for some reason she finds comfort in sleeping in Ryan's bed.
Since it centers around high school seniors we have the typical drama that comes with it ~ mean girls, popularity, jealous ex's, losing virginity. Ryan is the popular star basketball player and Mac is the new girl, so some people give her a difficult time.
The grief of the whole family was written well. An emotional read with an ending that'll take you by surprise.
Narration notes:
I did not listen to this one, but am just giving the info above for reference.
Connect with me ➡ Blog ~ Facebook ~ Twitter
Genre ~ YA contemporary romance
Setting ~ Oregon
Publication date ~ January 21, 2018
Page Count ~ 277 (41 chapters +e)
Audio length ~ 9 hours 2 minutes
Narrator ~ Therese Plummer
POV ~ single 1st
Featuring ~ high school, suicide, grief, typical hs crap, friends to lovers, virgin, minimal steamage
*older read mini review*
Mackenzie's twin sister, Willow, committed suicide. The family moves to a different state for a job opportunity, so not many people know their story. Understandably, Mac is having a difficult time and for some reason she finds comfort in sleeping in Ryan's bed.
Since it centers around high school seniors we have the typical drama that comes with it ~ mean girls, popularity, jealous ex's, losing virginity. Ryan is the popular star basketball player and Mac is the new girl, so some people give her a difficult time.
The grief of the whole family was written well. An emotional read with an ending that'll take you by surprise.
Narration notes:
I did not listen to this one, but am just giving the info above for reference.
Connect with me ➡ Blog ~ Facebook ~ Twitter
January 12, 2018
5 Warm Stars
This book was a no-brainer for me. It’s by Tijan and I love the cover, HOWVER, I was really nervous about this book. When you love an author so much there’s high expectations and so I went into Ryan’s Bed lightly.
I will have to put the disclaimer on this book: Please read the summary prior to reading Ryan’s Bed. It’s clearly mentioned in the summary that Mackenzie’s sister committed suicide and the book is about Mac dealing with the loss.
I see the mixed reviews. You will either love this book (as I did) or not connect with it. This book might even be compared to other famous books that deal with suicide, but please don’t do that. Ryan’s Bed is in a league of its own.
Okay, I’m done with my little warning.
I truly loved this book from the first page. I couldn’t stop reading and I read WELL INTO THE NIGHT and if you know anything about me, I don’t stay up late to read books. I love my beauty sleep.
Ryan’s Bed had everything I wanted in a book, it had drama, hardships, relationships, romance, cute parts and tension. This book doesn’t have a lot of angst, but it has a lot of heart. What I really loved about the book was that it was about relationships. Not just about love relationships, but all forms of relationships. Relationships with friends, family and with lovers.
Mac’s sister just died, like hours ago and the book is about her world. You see her life through her eyes. She finds comfort in Ryan’s bed, but of course there’s more to the story than two teenagers sleeping in the same bed.
Ryan isn’t the star of the book and I loved that. He’s a supporting character to Mac’s life. The bond and relationship Ryan and Mac forms is really addictive to read. It’s heartbreaking, compelling and endearing. I love watching their interactions.
Ryan’s Bed does have a touch of Fallen Crest High aura. There’s a lot of characters and it’s all centered around high school kids. I love reading the interactions between the friends and I love reading the drama that surrounds the teenagers. There are some over the top parts to the storyline but I gobbled that up.
Mac is a wonderful character to read. She’s so damaged, like really damaged, but I LOVED reading it. I loved watching her unfold and witnessing her life as things develop. As someone who is struggling, she acts above her age and I liked that.
I take Ryan’s Bed for what it’s worth. It’s about a Heroine struggling and within that timeframe a lot happens. There’s family dynamics, there’s a love interest and new bonds to form. It was a heart-racing read and I’m totally in book hanger mode now.
An ARC was provided.
This book was a no-brainer for me. It’s by Tijan and I love the cover, HOWVER, I was really nervous about this book. When you love an author so much there’s high expectations and so I went into Ryan’s Bed lightly.
I will have to put the disclaimer on this book: Please read the summary prior to reading Ryan’s Bed. It’s clearly mentioned in the summary that Mackenzie’s sister committed suicide and the book is about Mac dealing with the loss.
I see the mixed reviews. You will either love this book (as I did) or not connect with it. This book might even be compared to other famous books that deal with suicide, but please don’t do that. Ryan’s Bed is in a league of its own.
Okay, I’m done with my little warning.
I truly loved this book from the first page. I couldn’t stop reading and I read WELL INTO THE NIGHT and if you know anything about me, I don’t stay up late to read books. I love my beauty sleep.
Ryan’s Bed had everything I wanted in a book, it had drama, hardships, relationships, romance, cute parts and tension. This book doesn’t have a lot of angst, but it has a lot of heart. What I really loved about the book was that it was about relationships. Not just about love relationships, but all forms of relationships. Relationships with friends, family and with lovers.
Mac’s sister just died, like hours ago and the book is about her world. You see her life through her eyes. She finds comfort in Ryan’s bed, but of course there’s more to the story than two teenagers sleeping in the same bed.
Ryan isn’t the star of the book and I loved that. He’s a supporting character to Mac’s life. The bond and relationship Ryan and Mac forms is really addictive to read. It’s heartbreaking, compelling and endearing. I love watching their interactions.
Ryan’s Bed does have a touch of Fallen Crest High aura. There’s a lot of characters and it’s all centered around high school kids. I love reading the interactions between the friends and I love reading the drama that surrounds the teenagers. There are some over the top parts to the storyline but I gobbled that up.
Mac is a wonderful character to read. She’s so damaged, like really damaged, but I LOVED reading it. I loved watching her unfold and witnessing her life as things develop. As someone who is struggling, she acts above her age and I liked that.
I take Ryan’s Bed for what it’s worth. It’s about a Heroine struggling and within that timeframe a lot happens. There’s family dynamics, there’s a love interest and new bonds to form. It was a heart-racing read and I’m totally in book hanger mode now.
An ARC was provided.
May 26, 2021
Love in a time of grief
The following ratings are out of 5:
Narration: 🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧
Romance: 💋💋💋💋
Heat/Steam: 🔥🔥
Story/Plot: 📙📕📗📘📔
World building: 🌎🌏🌍🌎🌏
Character development: 👨🏻👱🏻♀🧔🏻👩🏻👱🏼
The heroine: Mackenzie - The summer before their senior year, the family moved for her fathers job and her twin sister Willow committed suicide and Mackenzie and her family are trying to deal with their grief. Mackenzie is seeing her sister everywhere and is trying to find herself again when she seems to be doing more things her sister would do. She seems to be taking on more Willow’s qualities, so she is trying to find her way in the changed world.
The Hero(es): Ryan - Hot popular basketball player. He is the son of a man who works with Mackenzie’s Dad and will be a senior at her school. He lost his best friend a few years ago so he sort of knows what Mackenzie’s going through.
The Story: Mackenzie and her younger brother Robbie stay at the home of her father’s work friend after finding her sister dead and she has trouble sleeping and wanders out of Ryan’s sisters room and into his. She finds she can get to sleep with Ryan and comes to rely on him in her time of need.
Since Ryan went through a similar loss, he understands what Mackenzie is going through and is sympathetic. Ryan is attracted to her as well, and they start dating and sneaking into each other’s beds at night. Mack’s family falls apart around her and she spirals as she continue’s to see her sister.
The story is a very good example of teenage loss and grief. It makes it harder for Mackenzie because she feels that her family won’t look at her since she has the same face as the one they lost. The story shows how different people deal with grief and how not talking about things can make things snowball. The things Mackenzie does (sneaking out, drinking, partying, etc)… are normal ways teenagers deal with everything.
Also there is a side story about popularity and the popular kids in school it all ties in nicely since at their former school Willow was the popular one while Mackenzie was the one the more sedate twin. Now that Mack is dating Ryan, she is in the popular crowd which adds to her turmoil.
The book was told in Mackenzie’s POV and regarding the narration, I really like this female narrator, Thérèse Plummer for YA and NA books. She has a good voice for a young female with brains, and she also does the Young male voice well. I like the distinction between the two. She is very easy to listen to and has good inflections and doesn’t sound like she is reading word for word. It sounds more like an acting performance.
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The following ratings are out of 5:
Narration: 🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧
Romance: 💋💋💋💋
Heat/Steam: 🔥🔥
Story/Plot: 📙📕📗📘📔
World building: 🌎🌏🌍🌎🌏
Character development: 👨🏻👱🏻♀🧔🏻👩🏻👱🏼
The heroine: Mackenzie - The summer before their senior year, the family moved for her fathers job and her twin sister Willow committed suicide and Mackenzie and her family are trying to deal with their grief. Mackenzie is seeing her sister everywhere and is trying to find herself again when she seems to be doing more things her sister would do. She seems to be taking on more Willow’s qualities, so she is trying to find her way in the changed world.
The Hero(es): Ryan - Hot popular basketball player. He is the son of a man who works with Mackenzie’s Dad and will be a senior at her school. He lost his best friend a few years ago so he sort of knows what Mackenzie’s going through.
The Story: Mackenzie and her younger brother Robbie stay at the home of her father’s work friend after finding her sister dead and she has trouble sleeping and wanders out of Ryan’s sisters room and into his. She finds she can get to sleep with Ryan and comes to rely on him in her time of need.
Since Ryan went through a similar loss, he understands what Mackenzie is going through and is sympathetic. Ryan is attracted to her as well, and they start dating and sneaking into each other’s beds at night. Mack’s family falls apart around her and she spirals as she continue’s to see her sister.
The story is a very good example of teenage loss and grief. It makes it harder for Mackenzie because she feels that her family won’t look at her since she has the same face as the one they lost. The story shows how different people deal with grief and how not talking about things can make things snowball. The things Mackenzie does (sneaking out, drinking, partying, etc)… are normal ways teenagers deal with everything.
Also there is a side story about popularity and the popular kids in school it all ties in nicely since at their former school Willow was the popular one while Mackenzie was the one the more sedate twin. Now that Mack is dating Ryan, she is in the popular crowd which adds to her turmoil.
The book was told in Mackenzie’s POV and regarding the narration, I really like this female narrator, Thérèse Plummer for YA and NA books. She has a good voice for a young female with brains, and she also does the Young male voice well. I like the distinction between the two. She is very easy to listen to and has good inflections and doesn’t sound like she is reading word for word. It sounds more like an acting performance.
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January 26, 2018
English / Português
4,5 stars
I reread the epilogue three times. Yes. I did. Not because I didn't understand, but because of the intensity of it. The book takes place in the senior year and shows the different ways of suffering with the loss of a loved one. I know that I was glued to the book and only let it go because I had to. RYAN'S BED was different than I imagined and I have a weakness for books like this. Especially when the author is able to capture the real suffering of a person who has lost someone, making the reader feel the same.
The book is narrated by Mackenzie, a girl who had just moved to a new city with her parents, her twin sister, and her younger brother. Without even giving time to us feel the story the author already make us emotional, since a day before turning 18, Willow, the twin sister of Mac, dies. With their parents running to sort things out, Mackenzie and her brother are taken to the house of a co-worker of their father, totally unknown to them. Mac was going to sleep in their daughter's room, but by a distraction - or fate - she ends up going into the wrong room and lying on Ryan's bed.
This is about loss and how people are affected by it. How each acts on it. But the focus is on the heroine. We see the sorrow, sadness, the depression; all through the eyes of Mackenzie.
I don't have much to say. The epilogue has changed everything for me and deserves every possible star by the depth of the theme. By the care the author had to maintain the suffering of Mac looking so real, without softening or hiding it. It is what it is. And despite being "just" a story in a book, it seemed too real to me. Tijan, you wanted to make your readers stop to think about it. And you did it. I can not stop thinking about this story and how starling it was. It was well written and totally worth the reading.
The author's text flows though the pages, it's natural. It's nice to read. The author has created a heroine we love right on the first page. The connection to her was instantaneous. I already wanted to cry when I had just begun to read! RYAN'S BED has become my favorite book by Tijan. I think, even though it's the beginning of the year, I can tell for sure this is on my 2018 favorites.
I highly recommend it a million times!
* I received an ARC of this book. Thank you!
------------------
English / Português
4,5 estrelas
Eu reli três vezes o epílogo. Sim. Reli. Não porque não entendi, mas, sim, por causa da intensidade dele. O livro se passa no último ano do colegial e mostra as diferentes forma de sofrimento com a perda de uma pessoa querida. Só sei que grudei no livro e só desgrudei da leitura porque fui obrigada. RYAN'S BED foi diferente do que eu imaginava e eu tenho um fraco pra livros assim. Principalmente quando o autora consegue capturar o real sofrimento de uma pessoa que perdeu alguém, fazendo o leitor sentir o mesmo.
O livro é narrado por Mackenzie, uma garota que há pouco tempo mudou de cidade com seus pais, sua irma gêmea, e seu irmão mais novo. Sem nem dar tempo da gente se situar na história a autora já consegue nos deixar emotivos, já que um dia antes de completarem 18 anos, Willow, a irmã gêmea de Mac, morre. Com os pais correndo para resolver as coisas, Mackenzie e seu irmão são levados a casa de um colega de trabalho do pai, totalmente desconhecidos para eles. Mac iria dormir no quarto da filha deles, mas, por uma distração - ou por destino -acaba entrando no quarto errado e deitando na cama de Ryan.
Este é um livro sobre a perda e como as pessoas são afetadas com isso. Como cada um age. Entretanto, o foco é na irmã gemêa. Vemos a tristeza, o pesar, a depressão; tudo através dos olhos de Mackenzie.
Eu não tenho muito o que dizer. O epílogo mudou tudo pra mim e merece todas as estrelas possíveis pela profundidade do tema. Pelo cuidado que a autora toma para manter o sofrimento da Mac real, sem amenizar ou esconder. É o que é. E apesar de ser uma história "criada", pareceu real demais pra mim. Tijan, você queria fazer os seus leitores pararem pra pensar. E você conseguiu. Não consigo parar de pensar nessa história e o quão impactante ela foi. Foi bem escrito e valeu a leitura.
O texto da autora flui, é natural. É gostoso de ler. Não é nada cansativo. Ela criou uma personagem que agrada logo de cara. A conexão com ela foi instantânea. Já quis chorar quando mal havia começado a ler! RYAN'S BED se tornou meu livro favorito da Tijan. Acho que, mesmo sendo o começo do ano, já entrou, inclusive, para os favoritos de 2018.
Recomendo um milhão de vezes!
* Recebi um ARC desse livro. Obrigada!
----------------------
* Pick a Book
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[email protected]
4,5 stars
I reread the epilogue three times. Yes. I did. Not because I didn't understand, but because of the intensity of it. The book takes place in the senior year and shows the different ways of suffering with the loss of a loved one. I know that I was glued to the book and only let it go because I had to. RYAN'S BED was different than I imagined and I have a weakness for books like this. Especially when the author is able to capture the real suffering of a person who has lost someone, making the reader feel the same.
The book is narrated by Mackenzie, a girl who had just moved to a new city with her parents, her twin sister, and her younger brother. Without even giving time to us feel the story the author already make us emotional, since a day before turning 18, Willow, the twin sister of Mac, dies. With their parents running to sort things out, Mackenzie and her brother are taken to the house of a co-worker of their father, totally unknown to them. Mac was going to sleep in their daughter's room, but by a distraction - or fate - she ends up going into the wrong room and lying on Ryan's bed.
This is about loss and how people are affected by it. How each acts on it. But the focus is on the heroine. We see the sorrow, sadness, the depression; all through the eyes of Mackenzie.
I don't have much to say. The epilogue has changed everything for me and deserves every possible star by the depth of the theme. By the care the author had to maintain the suffering of Mac looking so real, without softening or hiding it. It is what it is. And despite being "just" a story in a book, it seemed too real to me. Tijan, you wanted to make your readers stop to think about it. And you did it. I can not stop thinking about this story and how starling it was. It was well written and totally worth the reading.
The author's text flows though the pages, it's natural. It's nice to read. The author has created a heroine we love right on the first page. The connection to her was instantaneous. I already wanted to cry when I had just begun to read! RYAN'S BED has become my favorite book by Tijan. I think, even though it's the beginning of the year, I can tell for sure this is on my 2018 favorites.
I highly recommend it a million times!
* I received an ARC of this book. Thank you!
------------------
English / Português
4,5 estrelas
Eu reli três vezes o epílogo. Sim. Reli. Não porque não entendi, mas, sim, por causa da intensidade dele. O livro se passa no último ano do colegial e mostra as diferentes forma de sofrimento com a perda de uma pessoa querida. Só sei que grudei no livro e só desgrudei da leitura porque fui obrigada. RYAN'S BED foi diferente do que eu imaginava e eu tenho um fraco pra livros assim. Principalmente quando o autora consegue capturar o real sofrimento de uma pessoa que perdeu alguém, fazendo o leitor sentir o mesmo.
O livro é narrado por Mackenzie, uma garota que há pouco tempo mudou de cidade com seus pais, sua irma gêmea, e seu irmão mais novo. Sem nem dar tempo da gente se situar na história a autora já consegue nos deixar emotivos, já que um dia antes de completarem 18 anos, Willow, a irmã gêmea de Mac, morre. Com os pais correndo para resolver as coisas, Mackenzie e seu irmão são levados a casa de um colega de trabalho do pai, totalmente desconhecidos para eles. Mac iria dormir no quarto da filha deles, mas, por uma distração - ou por destino -acaba entrando no quarto errado e deitando na cama de Ryan.
Este é um livro sobre a perda e como as pessoas são afetadas com isso. Como cada um age. Entretanto, o foco é na irmã gemêa. Vemos a tristeza, o pesar, a depressão; tudo através dos olhos de Mackenzie.
Eu não tenho muito o que dizer. O epílogo mudou tudo pra mim e merece todas as estrelas possíveis pela profundidade do tema. Pelo cuidado que a autora toma para manter o sofrimento da Mac real, sem amenizar ou esconder. É o que é. E apesar de ser uma história "criada", pareceu real demais pra mim. Tijan, você queria fazer os seus leitores pararem pra pensar. E você conseguiu. Não consigo parar de pensar nessa história e o quão impactante ela foi. Foi bem escrito e valeu a leitura.
O texto da autora flui, é natural. É gostoso de ler. Não é nada cansativo. Ela criou uma personagem que agrada logo de cara. A conexão com ela foi instantânea. Já quis chorar quando mal havia começado a ler! RYAN'S BED se tornou meu livro favorito da Tijan. Acho que, mesmo sendo o começo do ano, já entrou, inclusive, para os favoritos de 2018.
Recomendo um milhão de vezes!
* Recebi um ARC desse livro. Obrigada!
----------------------
* Pick a Book
facebook / instagram / twitter
[email protected]
January 22, 2018
ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review
Ryan’s Bed is an emotional gripping story that will take hold of your heart with all the feels. Tijan took a very sensitive issue of suicide and made readers understand how depression and coping the loss of someone will make you feel naked, raw, exposed and most importantly vulnerable. While this book is about a sister’s journey of understanding and coping the loss of her twin sister, it is also a story of healing.
On June 30, it would have been Willow and Mackenzie’s 18th birthday and should be day of celebration but instead on June 29th, Willow decided to end her life. So how does one get over the loss of losing a sister? A twin? Still reeling from the loss of Willow, Mackenzie's head and emotions are all over the place as to why would Willow do this. Since her parents would be busy taking care of funeral arrangements, Mackenzie and her younger brother, Robbie will be staying at her father’s business associate’s house. It is there that Mackenzie walks into Ryan’s room. In this room and in his bed, she was able to finally close her eyes and sleep.
When I woke, he was on his back beside me, one of his hands on my side. He had fallen asleep like that, like he was protecting me.”
Sleeping next to Ryan was just that. Sleeping. It was comfort. Solace. It was finding the person, the right person who didn’t need to say much but understood your pain and loss. As Ryan and Mackenzie spent more time together, a deeper friendship begins to ignite. He became her strength. Her confidant. And most importantly, someone who saw and accepted all her broken pieces.
Ryan’s Bed is not your conventional love story but instead this book highlights a journey of strength and healing. It is a story of coming out of the dark and loneliest times and finding light. Mackenzie’s story is a reminder that even in our darkest moment, nothing is truly broken. Yes the pieces are shattered but with time and surrounding yourself with the right people, even shattered pieces can be mended and pieced back together and for Mackenzie, Ryan Jensen was her glue. So if you are looking for a story that emotionally highlights the struggles of real pain, loss, sadness, heartbreak, healing and love then this book is for you.
Tijan
Ryan’s Bed is an emotional gripping story that will take hold of your heart with all the feels. Tijan took a very sensitive issue of suicide and made readers understand how depression and coping the loss of someone will make you feel naked, raw, exposed and most importantly vulnerable. While this book is about a sister’s journey of understanding and coping the loss of her twin sister, it is also a story of healing.
On June 30, it would have been Willow and Mackenzie’s 18th birthday and should be day of celebration but instead on June 29th, Willow decided to end her life. So how does one get over the loss of losing a sister? A twin? Still reeling from the loss of Willow, Mackenzie's head and emotions are all over the place as to why would Willow do this. Since her parents would be busy taking care of funeral arrangements, Mackenzie and her younger brother, Robbie will be staying at her father’s business associate’s house. It is there that Mackenzie walks into Ryan’s room. In this room and in his bed, she was able to finally close her eyes and sleep.
When I woke, he was on his back beside me, one of his hands on my side. He had fallen asleep like that, like he was protecting me.”Sleeping next to Ryan was just that. Sleeping. It was comfort. Solace. It was finding the person, the right person who didn’t need to say much but understood your pain and loss. As Ryan and Mackenzie spent more time together, a deeper friendship begins to ignite. He became her strength. Her confidant. And most importantly, someone who saw and accepted all her broken pieces.
Ryan’s Bed is not your conventional love story but instead this book highlights a journey of strength and healing. It is a story of coming out of the dark and loneliest times and finding light. Mackenzie’s story is a reminder that even in our darkest moment, nothing is truly broken. Yes the pieces are shattered but with time and surrounding yourself with the right people, even shattered pieces can be mended and pieced back together and for Mackenzie, Ryan Jensen was her glue. So if you are looking for a story that emotionally highlights the struggles of real pain, loss, sadness, heartbreak, healing and love then this book is for you.
Tijan
January 26, 2018
Without further ado, let's get to the explanations for my low rating.
My first problem with this book was very insensitive and annoying narrator. I understood that Mackenzie grieved and everyone grieves in different way. But instead of grieving 18-year-old, she sounded like insensitive and petulant child disrespectful towards other people's feelings and grief. But I could have tolerated that. I don't have to 100% agree with main character to enjoy the book.
However, the thing I could not let go was weak storytelling.
Ryan's Bed was my first book by Tijan and I wasn't very impressed with her storytelling skills. It was classical case of telling not showing. Moreover, whole story was built on unrealistic situations and teenage drama. It made otherwise potentially emotional story look sterile to me.
On the top of that, I felt like many important parts that author intended to present to her readers were "lost in translation" among other unrealistic situations and unnecessary drama. What I mean is that heroine's twin sister committed suicide and author never properly got into whys. Tijan probably wanted to focus on Mackenzie and her way of coping. But what is the point of circling around teenage suicide in the book only to never touch the subject properly and to only gloss over it to create "atmosphere" for the story? Why to make such a heavy topic the focus of the story only to never address it properly? Maybe I'm being harsh but that's how this novel made me feel and even twist at the end did not save the book for me.
All in all, not everything was bad. Surprisingly, even after all that I mentioned above, this story kept some sort of addictive charm and I was able to finish it. Call it a curiosity, but I truly wanted to know how things would turn out for Mackenzie & Ryan after that super weird way that had started their relationship. What a pity that novel didn't reach its overall potential...
*ARC provided by author as an exchange for honest review*
My first problem with this book was very insensitive and annoying narrator. I understood that Mackenzie grieved and everyone grieves in different way. But instead of grieving 18-year-old, she sounded like insensitive and petulant child disrespectful towards other people's feelings and grief. But I could have tolerated that. I don't have to 100% agree with main character to enjoy the book.
However, the thing I could not let go was weak storytelling.
Ryan's Bed was my first book by Tijan and I wasn't very impressed with her storytelling skills. It was classical case of telling not showing. Moreover, whole story was built on unrealistic situations and teenage drama. It made otherwise potentially emotional story look sterile to me.
On the top of that, I felt like many important parts that author intended to present to her readers were "lost in translation" among other unrealistic situations and unnecessary drama. What I mean is that heroine's twin sister committed suicide and author never properly got into whys. Tijan probably wanted to focus on Mackenzie and her way of coping. But what is the point of circling around teenage suicide in the book only to never touch the subject properly and to only gloss over it to create "atmosphere" for the story? Why to make such a heavy topic the focus of the story only to never address it properly? Maybe I'm being harsh but that's how this novel made me feel and even twist at the end did not save the book for me.
All in all, not everything was bad. Surprisingly, even after all that I mentioned above, this story kept some sort of addictive charm and I was able to finish it. Call it a curiosity, but I truly wanted to know how things would turn out for Mackenzie & Ryan after that super weird way that had started their relationship. What a pity that novel didn't reach its overall potential...
*ARC provided by author as an exchange for honest review*
October 8, 2019
This book pulled me in. From the beautiful cover to the heart wrenching blurb, I just knew that I had to read it. It turned out to be everything I wanted and more.
On the 29th of June, Mackenzie's world came crashing down. She thought everything couldn't get any worse after being uprooted to a new town in Oregon after her father's promotion. She had no doubts that her siblings would have no problem with the change - especially her twin, Willow. Willow was always popular and perfect. She was the more popular twin, the better twin. When McKenzie found her twin laying in a pool of blood on the bathroom floor, she felt like she had died along with her.
Mackenzie finds herself thrown into a strangers home, along with her brother, as her parents make the funeral arrangements for her twin. She mistakenly crawls into Ryan's bed instead of his sisters and immediately feels at ease. Ryan becomes her safe haven - while her world continues to crumble around her. She just became the new girl who's twin sister killed herself. And we all know that teenagers are not the most sensitive.
First off, I want to applaud this author for delivering such a beautifully chaotic story. Suicide doesn't end once that person takes their life; it continues on through their loved ones. Tijan wasn't afraid to take us readers down the stages of grief, through the what-ifs, or the path of forgiveness. My heart broke for Mckenzie and I still tear up thinking about everything she went through.
However, that last page made me bawl like a huge baby. I never expected it. I stayed up an extra hour that night just thinking about it. The last line made the whole book for me. I had seen that 30 users marked this as DNF and it made me upset. They truly missed out on something profound.
5 Stars!
On the 29th of June, Mackenzie's world came crashing down. She thought everything couldn't get any worse after being uprooted to a new town in Oregon after her father's promotion. She had no doubts that her siblings would have no problem with the change - especially her twin, Willow. Willow was always popular and perfect. She was the more popular twin, the better twin. When McKenzie found her twin laying in a pool of blood on the bathroom floor, she felt like she had died along with her.
Mackenzie finds herself thrown into a strangers home, along with her brother, as her parents make the funeral arrangements for her twin. She mistakenly crawls into Ryan's bed instead of his sisters and immediately feels at ease. Ryan becomes her safe haven - while her world continues to crumble around her. She just became the new girl who's twin sister killed herself. And we all know that teenagers are not the most sensitive.
First off, I want to applaud this author for delivering such a beautifully chaotic story. Suicide doesn't end once that person takes their life; it continues on through their loved ones. Tijan wasn't afraid to take us readers down the stages of grief, through the what-ifs, or the path of forgiveness. My heart broke for Mckenzie and I still tear up thinking about everything she went through.
However, that last page made me bawl like a huge baby. I never expected it. I stayed up an extra hour that night just thinking about it. The last line made the whole book for me. I had seen that 30 users marked this as DNF and it made me upset. They truly missed out on something profound.
5 Stars!
February 21, 2018
This book could be very powerful to some. This book felt short for me. I don't know what it was, i just felt like old me would have liked this book more. Current me on the other hand, just felt it was missing something.
January 16, 2018
My first completed read this year and...THIS BOOK. I love books that are funny, sexy, suspenseful, etc., but the most memorable are always the ones that throw me for a fucking loop. I saw it, but I didn’t see it. BRA-FUCKING-VO.
And Ryan was just perfect. PERFECT.
And Ryan was just perfect. PERFECT.
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