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Having a Mary Spirit: Allowing God to Change Us from the Inside Out
A life-changing guide to accessing the new life Jesus came to bring—from the bestselling author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World
“You’ll emerge from this reading experience a changed woman.”—Liz Curtis Higgs
You long to serve God with grace and strength and reflect Christ in every word and action. Yet you find yourself continually struggling to bring that vision to life in your daily walk. At our very core, every one of us is a “twisted sister” within whom the flesh and spirit are battling constantly for control. We are afflicted with a chronic disconnect between our good-girl desire to put Jesus first and our bad-girl realities that crowd our thoughts and push Him out of the way.
In Having a Mary Spirit, Joanna Weaver directs your gaze past your own shortcomings to the God who stands ready, willing, and able to make a new woman out of you. She equips you with biblical insights and practical tools to partner with Christ, inviting Him into the hidden places of your soul and giving Him full permission to redeem and renovate. Drawing on the stories of the biblical Marys (Mary, mother of Jesus; Mary, sister of Martha; and Mary Magdalene) and others whose experience with God transformed their lives, Joanna points you toward lasting personal transformation—soul-deep change that results in a complete makeover—from the inside out.
Includes a fourteen-week Bible study (adaptable to twelve weeks) for both individual reflection and group discussion.
“You’ll emerge from this reading experience a changed woman.”—Liz Curtis Higgs
You long to serve God with grace and strength and reflect Christ in every word and action. Yet you find yourself continually struggling to bring that vision to life in your daily walk. At our very core, every one of us is a “twisted sister” within whom the flesh and spirit are battling constantly for control. We are afflicted with a chronic disconnect between our good-girl desire to put Jesus first and our bad-girl realities that crowd our thoughts and push Him out of the way.
In Having a Mary Spirit, Joanna Weaver directs your gaze past your own shortcomings to the God who stands ready, willing, and able to make a new woman out of you. She equips you with biblical insights and practical tools to partner with Christ, inviting Him into the hidden places of your soul and giving Him full permission to redeem and renovate. Drawing on the stories of the biblical Marys (Mary, mother of Jesus; Mary, sister of Martha; and Mary Magdalene) and others whose experience with God transformed their lives, Joanna points you toward lasting personal transformation—soul-deep change that results in a complete makeover—from the inside out.
Includes a fourteen-week Bible study (adaptable to twelve weeks) for both individual reflection and group discussion.
278 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
About the author
Joanna Weaver
38 books159 followersWith over 1.6 million books sold, Joanna Weaver is known for her transparent and life-changing books, Having A Mary Heart in a Martha World, Having a Mary Spirit, Lazarus Awakening, At the Feet of Jesus and her new book, Embracing Trust. Her podcast, "The Living Room with Joanna Weaver" was featured in Apple's New & Noteworthy. Joanna is passionate about seeing women experience all that God has for them - especially the joy and freedom that comes from trusting Him.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews
May 16, 2009
One of my favorite books of all time. I plan to re-read it many times and recommend it to just about every woman I know. Although it is geared more toward females, I found myself reading several passages to my husband because I loved the author's interpretations of verses and 'wake-up calls'. As my husband said, "There is a lot in there that we need to hear every day".
February 15, 2009
I learned how to (or how to try to) control the "FleshWoman" in me. This is by far the best book I've read about ME - ME the woman; not me the mom, me the wife, me the parent, me the (fill in the blank) but just about me the woman.
I did read it slowly to allow the chapters to digest before moving on. It's a deep, spiritual, biblical read. I loved it! It wasn't superficial, nor did I feel guilty or at fault for my failures as a woman (You know ladies - not doing it "all" so to speak)
Many things I read and learned in this book has stuck with me.
There is a small 'study guide' in the back of the book. I did not do that. I've been saying I'll read it again doing the guide next time but I've just not had a chance to do that.
I did read it slowly to allow the chapters to digest before moving on. It's a deep, spiritual, biblical read. I loved it! It wasn't superficial, nor did I feel guilty or at fault for my failures as a woman (You know ladies - not doing it "all" so to speak)
Many things I read and learned in this book has stuck with me.
There is a small 'study guide' in the back of the book. I did not do that. I've been saying I'll read it again doing the guide next time but I've just not had a chance to do that.
March 23, 2012
To me this book was an ugly look at the inside of the heart which is a person's thoughts. Sometimes looking at this heart and realizing that change must happen to keep fellowship with God is difficult.I want to take care of my own problems,but God wants us to depend on him with our ability. I like this writer, Joanna Weaver, the way she writes to the reader, as if, she is having coffee in the living room with you.
November 5, 2013
I think I would have given this book 5 stars if I had read it with a group of ladies together because discussing the ideas in the book with others would have made it more memorable in my mind. With that being said, this book was still a good reminder for addressing what I need to work on and how to keep growing in my faith. I do need to be better about know scripture so that these truths are in my heart in my deepest times of need. I liked the point to guard my heart against things that are not good for me - funny thing is I have been telling my tween daughter the same thing as she finds friends who are not "true" to her. I like the comment - "Guard your heart! Whatever you allow into your life will eventually be revealed - both the good and the bad! So true! Also loved reading that a "quiet and gentle spirit is a heart free from fear." As I have grown in my faith that is so much of want I desire for me and for my family! Reading this also reaffirmed forgiveness for others - not so much for them but for my heart and my freedom to enjoy life. I love how by forgiving others will help my soul to avoid "shriveling." I can grow "bigger" by forgiving others and this will open up so much for me. I also liked the comment "Forgiveness is a love offering we pour out before the Lord - an act of gratitude" and "Love keeps no records of wrongs." The comment to "keep still" in times of trouble was also comforting and a thought I need to remember because I tend to get all aflutter rather than staying calm - be still and trust in the Lord! The final thought I liked in the book was "the simple fact that I have an opinion doesn't mean I have to share it!" Sigh - I need to remember that the next time I get truly angry! Good ideas to try to make myself a kind and helpful person.
July 23, 2016
My sister and I worked through this book together and learned a lot about ourselves and our place in the world as Christian women. What I love so much about this book is how down to earth the author is and how honest she is with her readers. She doesn't preach to us from the standpoint of a "perfect Christian woman," she is still finding her way just like we are- I love that! Each chapter is accompanied by questions and bible verses that help readers dig deeper as they work through topics from dealing with their flesh women to becoming women who wear Jesus. We all deal with worldly temptations, but we can all use the qualities of Christ to be the women God wants us to be.
November 9, 2017
I hate to admit, I needed this book. I need the reminder that I am prone to sin, that He must increase that I might decrease. I don’t know that these things are always the easiest to hear, but I’m not going to refuse the medication the Lord portions out.
November 7, 2023
Life changing book! I highly recommend!
November 14, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. It walks you through the process of allowing God to change you from the inside out. I tend to be a Martha type of person who gets things done rather than relying on God to help me and teach me (which is basically what Mary did by sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to Him.)
This book has given me some insight and some scripture references to read and consider how to become more of a Mary type of person. Martha complained to Jesus about Mary just sitting there instead of helping in the kitchen and Jesus rebuked her saying Mary was doing something more important (and beneficial.) I tend to grumble about nobody helping me too - so I felt convicted to say the least!
This book has given me some insight and some scripture references to read and consider how to become more of a Mary type of person. Martha complained to Jesus about Mary just sitting there instead of helping in the kitchen and Jesus rebuked her saying Mary was doing something more important (and beneficial.) I tend to grumble about nobody helping me too - so I felt convicted to say the least!
May 24, 2008
Things to watch out for:
a competitive spirit
a controlling spirit
a contentious spirit
a discontented spirit
p. 45
The baptism of love the New Testament church experienced after the Spirit's coming was unlike anything the world had ever seen. People set aside time daily just to be together, to eat and laugh and sing and worship God. When someone was in need, others sold their possessions - without being asked! - so the needy person could be helped. Slave or free, Jew or Gentile, or even a complete stranger - everyone had a place in God's family. When pagan observers were asked to describe the early church, their oft quoted comment was "Behold, how they love each other!"
p. 51
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another"
John 13:35
Being Led
1. Tune your heart to His voice
2. Mind the checks (if you feel doubt, wait and do nothing)
3. Test the message (against scripture)
4. Watch for repetition
5. Take the next step
6. Beware the Spirit's withdrawal
7. Ask for and expect wisdom
The only type of self-examination, according to Smith: "For one look at self, take ten looks at Christ."
p. 84
Yes to Little Things
Saying yes to inconvenience so someone else might be blessed.
Saying yes to a backseat role though we're fully qualified to drive.
Saying yes to doing the unseen, the unnoticed, and the underappreciated.
Saying yes to overlooking faults and inconsiderate slights.
Saying yes to patient listening though there's much to do and more to say.
Saying yes to chores others should rightfully do.
Saying yes when we'd rather say no.
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. Luke 16:10
p. 102
5 Rs for Managing (harmful) thoughts
1. Recognize (as defamatory, selfish, accusing, confusing, etc.)
2. Refuse to accept it as own - don't dwell on it
3. Reckon yourself dead to teh power of sin (Romans 6:7, Colossians 3:5)
4. Rest in knowing that you are in Christ and He is in you.
5. Remind yourself of who you are in christ, dust ourself off...
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you. Isaiah 26:3
p. 118
Afraid (Pslam 27:1)
Overwhelmed (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Running Away (Romans 14:4)
Threatened (Psalm 7:1)
Betrayed (Deut 31:6)
Confused (James 1:5)
Angry (James 1:19-20)
Depressed (Psalm 40:2)
Unloved (Jer 31:3-4)
Phil 4:8
p. 114-115
Avoiding the Shriveled Soul Syndrome
Avoid gossip
Release bitterness
Take risks
Trust
Don't live for "stuff"
Master your appetites
Grow deep
Be generous
Think globally
p. 156-157
How to Forgive
1. Make the choice
2. Find a faithful friend
3. Bless, don't curse
4. Keep no record of wrongs
5. Bring it all to God
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:13-14
Putting Off the Old and Putting On the New
stop rationalizing
apply strategy
be realistic
be encouraged
start today
p. 224-225
a competitive spirit
a controlling spirit
a contentious spirit
a discontented spirit
p. 45
The baptism of love the New Testament church experienced after the Spirit's coming was unlike anything the world had ever seen. People set aside time daily just to be together, to eat and laugh and sing and worship God. When someone was in need, others sold their possessions - without being asked! - so the needy person could be helped. Slave or free, Jew or Gentile, or even a complete stranger - everyone had a place in God's family. When pagan observers were asked to describe the early church, their oft quoted comment was "Behold, how they love each other!"
p. 51
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another"
John 13:35
Being Led
1. Tune your heart to His voice
2. Mind the checks (if you feel doubt, wait and do nothing)
3. Test the message (against scripture)
4. Watch for repetition
5. Take the next step
6. Beware the Spirit's withdrawal
7. Ask for and expect wisdom
The only type of self-examination, according to Smith: "For one look at self, take ten looks at Christ."
p. 84
Yes to Little Things
Saying yes to inconvenience so someone else might be blessed.
Saying yes to a backseat role though we're fully qualified to drive.
Saying yes to doing the unseen, the unnoticed, and the underappreciated.
Saying yes to overlooking faults and inconsiderate slights.
Saying yes to patient listening though there's much to do and more to say.
Saying yes to chores others should rightfully do.
Saying yes when we'd rather say no.
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. Luke 16:10
p. 102
5 Rs for Managing (harmful) thoughts
1. Recognize (as defamatory, selfish, accusing, confusing, etc.)
2. Refuse to accept it as own - don't dwell on it
3. Reckon yourself dead to teh power of sin (Romans 6:7, Colossians 3:5)
4. Rest in knowing that you are in Christ and He is in you.
5. Remind yourself of who you are in christ, dust ourself off...
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you. Isaiah 26:3
p. 118
Afraid (Pslam 27:1)
Overwhelmed (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Running Away (Romans 14:4)
Threatened (Psalm 7:1)
Betrayed (Deut 31:6)
Confused (James 1:5)
Angry (James 1:19-20)
Depressed (Psalm 40:2)
Unloved (Jer 31:3-4)
Phil 4:8
p. 114-115
Avoiding the Shriveled Soul Syndrome
Avoid gossip
Release bitterness
Take risks
Trust
Don't live for "stuff"
Master your appetites
Grow deep
Be generous
Think globally
p. 156-157
How to Forgive
1. Make the choice
2. Find a faithful friend
3. Bless, don't curse
4. Keep no record of wrongs
5. Bring it all to God
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:13-14
Putting Off the Old and Putting On the New
stop rationalizing
apply strategy
be realistic
be encouraged
start today
p. 224-225
August 21, 2021
Having a Mary Spirit is a great read for women who desire a closer walk with Christ. One of my prayers that I like to keep going - since it's the prayer God always answers, no matter what (!) - is for God to remove anything about me that He doesn't like. Believe me when I say that if you don't mean that, then absolutely do not pray for it; it's like the one prayer that 100% of the time God has always answered.
Anyway, there was one thing about this book that I strongly disliked. There are several instances where the author has long paragraphs describing what she said the Lord had spoken to her personally. The way that the author said the Lord spoke to her in Having a Mary Spirit made me uncomfortable. At one point, she gave the Lord a twang. This was something that didn't sit well...
The reference to the "flesh woman" and the mention of Twanda, got a little old for me too.
This book is really for anyone who wants to change. You know there are certain things holding you back in your life, and that God would like to remove. Having a Mary Spirit lays out how that can take place and what we can do to allow God to transform us through the Holy Spirit. Included are some wonderful quotes from various books the author read that meant something in her life, and I'm seriously going to copy her list and see if I can read some of them. For those interested, some versions of this book (not sure if it is every version) also include a Bible study at the back.
Overall: definitely worth a reread; I got a lot out of this book
Anyway, there was one thing about this book that I strongly disliked. There are several instances where the author has long paragraphs describing what she said the Lord had spoken to her personally. The way that the author said the Lord spoke to her in Having a Mary Spirit made me uncomfortable. At one point, she gave the Lord a twang. This was something that didn't sit well...
The reference to the "flesh woman" and the mention of Twanda, got a little old for me too.
This book is really for anyone who wants to change. You know there are certain things holding you back in your life, and that God would like to remove. Having a Mary Spirit lays out how that can take place and what we can do to allow God to transform us through the Holy Spirit. Included are some wonderful quotes from various books the author read that meant something in her life, and I'm seriously going to copy her list and see if I can read some of them. For those interested, some versions of this book (not sure if it is every version) also include a Bible study at the back.
Overall: definitely worth a reread; I got a lot out of this book
May 31, 2017
This book had such good reviews but I sort of feel like I could have gotten the jest of the book by reading the very thorough and glowing reviews. This book might be good for a women's Bible study. I read about 85% of the book. I kept looking for some real practical how-to's. The ideas seemed, well, simplistic. I guess I was looking for something deeper. And I did not connect with her humor. But, as I mentioned, others loved the book and said one woman said it was her favorite of all time and that she'd read it again. So I might be missing something.
Good comment: we want to be conformed to Christ's image but not challenged in her chapter on training and discipline.
I did really appreciate this quote from Andrew Murray and sent it to friends.
Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to expect nothing, to wonder about nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in where I can go in and shut the door and knee to my Father in secret and to be at peace in a deep sea of calmness when all around and above there is trouble.
Good comment: we want to be conformed to Christ's image but not challenged in her chapter on training and discipline.
I did really appreciate this quote from Andrew Murray and sent it to friends.
Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to expect nothing, to wonder about nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in where I can go in and shut the door and knee to my Father in secret and to be at peace in a deep sea of calmness when all around and above there is trouble.
December 21, 2013
After having read Joanna's first book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" {AMAZING!!} years ago, I couldn't wait to read her next book in her series. Our Martha desire to have a more Mary-like attitude and spirit instead of our react-first-think-later fleshly attitude that generally rules. Here Joanna Weaver takes you step by step teaching you how God can give you a holy makeover from the inside out. Joanna's devotional writing style gives practical insight and guidance for daily living and allowing the Lord to change your heart. A study guide is included in the back for help in digging deeper spiritually.
July 7, 2011
This is an excellent book, that has really challenged me in several areas of my life. I really relate to the author as I am very much like her in my personality and challenges. The chapter on forgiveness was really excellent as well as the parts about fear. It has been a slow read for me as the Lord puts His finger on different areas in my life. I have realized that change is totally impossible apart from abiding in Christ--the change just happens as a result of that. I am experiencing victory and rest in my life...praise the Lord!
July 14, 2009
Every woman should read!
August 3, 2019
Having a Mary Spirit allows you to reflect on what it means to live the life that God has set out for us. Living this life is difficult, but it is essential that we are constantly reminded.
October 17, 2013
Not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Gave up 50 pages in.
October 13, 2017
It is a book on self help to be more like Christ and less of me. I feel it has some revelatory concept and is excellent on the subject. This is a "rubber meets the road" kind of book for every Christian Believer that is serious about God.
It was a book timely for me as I was dealing with an area, that I needed God to change in me. And after reading it, coupled with the Lord's timing, I am changed from the inside out in this area of God's choosing to deal with in me.
I lead a group of about 5-8 women in a Ladies Weekly Bible Study and it is an excellent book to do a group or do it individually.
So if you feel God is wanting to change some "inside" things in you, this is the book you want to read. I am sure if you are serious and apply the principals, after doing so, you will be a changed person and much more like Christ, than before you began.
It was a book timely for me as I was dealing with an area, that I needed God to change in me. And after reading it, coupled with the Lord's timing, I am changed from the inside out in this area of God's choosing to deal with in me.
I lead a group of about 5-8 women in a Ladies Weekly Bible Study and it is an excellent book to do a group or do it individually.
So if you feel God is wanting to change some "inside" things in you, this is the book you want to read. I am sure if you are serious and apply the principals, after doing so, you will be a changed person and much more like Christ, than before you began.
June 7, 2017
I thought this book would be very similar to Joanna Weaver's first book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" (after all, the title is almost the same). This one does start out with some basic Christian background, which is perfect for a new Christian. But it also has some more depth in the later chapters. My only problem in this book is the author uses one conflict in her life over and over again in numerous examples. It seemed a bit repetitive, but it was applicable several different ways.
The material I found most interesting was on personal change as the Holy Spirit takes a greater place in your life. There are discussion/scripture look up questions in the back, so this is perfect for a small group Bible study.
The material I found most interesting was on personal change as the Holy Spirit takes a greater place in your life. There are discussion/scripture look up questions in the back, so this is perfect for a small group Bible study.
March 5, 2024
A truly fantastic book! I had this book on my shelf for months and finally picked it up, boy was it given to me by the Holy Spirit at the right time. Each chapter had lines that hit home, and convicted me through love and Grace. God loves us, and he does not want us to stay the same! He doesn’t need us to be perfect, He just needs us to surrender.
This book is written with a real voice and tone that makes it feel as if your good Christian girlfriend or your friends mom is giving you biblical advice and wisdom.
Couldn’t be more blessed that God put this book on Joanna’s heart and that she shared it with the world.
This book is written with a real voice and tone that makes it feel as if your good Christian girlfriend or your friends mom is giving you biblical advice and wisdom.
Couldn’t be more blessed that God put this book on Joanna’s heart and that she shared it with the world.
December 7, 2018
Every once in a while a book comes along that just spells it all out really well. This is one of those books. I loved the real life analogies she walks you through and her honest emotions that go with them. While quite a bit of the book involves quotes and references from other books and people, she does drop her own two cents in there. Overall, a great read, easy to follow and great food for the Christian!
March 16, 2021
I really wanted to like this book. It did have a few gems sprinkled in it but her over the top - too wordy stories about “flesh woman” just made me grimace. I couldn’t connect with the terms she came up with. I also felt like the questions at the back of the book were not connected to the chapter. This was a comment that was made by many in our group. We used the book for a women’s study. In a group of 8 only two really connected with the book. I tried, but I couldn’t.
July 1, 2020
It’s official, I love Joanna Weaver’s books!! The writing style and stories/metaphors can be a bit tacky at times, but the main messages always resonate so deeply with me. I underlined A LOT in this book and will definitely reread. I am praying I can continue to do the work for God to change me from the inside out and this book definitely helps!
November 5, 2021
I wrote down a lot of lovely quotes and take-aways from this book. The only part I didn't agree with was a chapter with a bit of diet culture in it (told anecdotally not prescriptively). Apart from that, excellent book that is both challenging and encouraging.
February 18, 2022
This was a good study book. There were of course parts I didn’t always agree with but this book also challenged me to think in ways I’m not accustomed to thinking. And I saw a bit of myself pointed out here and there.
August 29, 2024
A very "holier than thou" tone, I rolled my eyes a lot but when I got to the section about her "fiction fast" making her so very holy compared to everyone else I decided this book is not for me. There's probably some good things here, but the presentation is poor.
March 14, 2017
this book is excellent. It really opens your eyes to the flesh and gives scripture to change if you really want to. God is waiting to help bring us closer to him.
May 6, 2017
Life-changing book! Weaver walks you through the process of transforming from being burdened by your sin to true freedom in Christ.
January 3, 2018
This is a excellent Book. I learned a lot about myself and my relationship with God. I am going to 're-read it. Lots of scripture reference.
January 3, 2018
Always a great reminder of what is important and simple truths to follow
February 21, 2018
One of the best bible studies I’ve done in a long time.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews