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The Program: Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere and the Rise and Fall of NXIVM
As seen in the HBO docuseries THE A jaw-dropping insider look into the world of the so-called "Hollywood Sex Cult" NXIVM chronicling the rise of enigmatic cult leader, Keith Raniere, from its "Patient Zero," his former girlfriend and test subject for his coercive control techniques.
Many have heard of NXIVM and its creator, Keith Raniere, the unassuming Albany man now prosecuted for ensnaring tens of thousands of people in the US, Mexico, Canada and elsewhere, to do his bidding and pay millions of dollars to participate in his self-improvement methodology. But where did Keith Raniere begin?
Enter Toni Natalie, Keith's Patient Zero, the first one indoctrinated into Raniere's methodology and the first one to escape. THE PROGRAM begins with the origin story of NXIVM, follows its rise to international prominence, and takes the reader into the downfall of Raniere through Toni's eyes. During this time she bore witness to the evolution of his methodology, including his use of sex, blackmail, and employment of psychological tools such as neuro-linguistic programming to control and punish those who would not heed his wishes. She uniquely details the fortunes lost and the lives left in disarray that she witnessed contemporaneously, including members of DOS, a group of women coerced into sexual acts under the guise of a "women's empowerment" inner circle, whom Raniere exercised extreme control over directly and through his lieutenants.
But far from being a victim's story, in the spirit of Erin Brockovich, Toni's is a nuanced narrative of a multi-dimensional woman saving herself, and then working tirelessly to help other women do the same for themselves. Today, Toni is happy, reunited with her son, and surrounded by friends and family--it is this perspective that makes her such a unique storyteller.
Many have heard of NXIVM and its creator, Keith Raniere, the unassuming Albany man now prosecuted for ensnaring tens of thousands of people in the US, Mexico, Canada and elsewhere, to do his bidding and pay millions of dollars to participate in his self-improvement methodology. But where did Keith Raniere begin?
Enter Toni Natalie, Keith's Patient Zero, the first one indoctrinated into Raniere's methodology and the first one to escape. THE PROGRAM begins with the origin story of NXIVM, follows its rise to international prominence, and takes the reader into the downfall of Raniere through Toni's eyes. During this time she bore witness to the evolution of his methodology, including his use of sex, blackmail, and employment of psychological tools such as neuro-linguistic programming to control and punish those who would not heed his wishes. She uniquely details the fortunes lost and the lives left in disarray that she witnessed contemporaneously, including members of DOS, a group of women coerced into sexual acts under the guise of a "women's empowerment" inner circle, whom Raniere exercised extreme control over directly and through his lieutenants.
But far from being a victim's story, in the spirit of Erin Brockovich, Toni's is a nuanced narrative of a multi-dimensional woman saving herself, and then working tirelessly to help other women do the same for themselves. Today, Toni is happy, reunited with her son, and surrounded by friends and family--it is this perspective that makes her such a unique storyteller.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published September 24, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 141 reviews
February 10, 2021
2.5 "over-reaching, myopic, well-organized" stars !!
Second Most Disappointing Read of 2020 Award
I wish Ms. Natalie would have stuck to her side of the story. As a memoir this would have made a pretty good book. She in no way gets into the mind of NXIVM's notorious leader Keith Raniere but she does a decent job of giving a summary of a chronological summary of events of this cult. I also found it very tiresome to hear how these very many awful women -the Bronfmans, Alison Mack etc were under the spell of this charlatan and were victims. These very same women branded, extorted and abused many people (some whom were underage) and are fully responsible for their actions. Ms. Natalie herself comes across as immature and needy and really the whole bloody bunch of these people come across as either weak and dependent (at their best) to sadistic and greedy (at their worst) and capable of much evil under the guise of raising human potential.
I would really like to read a more objective and deep analysis of what developed with this group.
Second Most Disappointing Read of 2020 Award
I wish Ms. Natalie would have stuck to her side of the story. As a memoir this would have made a pretty good book. She in no way gets into the mind of NXIVM's notorious leader Keith Raniere but she does a decent job of giving a summary of a chronological summary of events of this cult. I also found it very tiresome to hear how these very many awful women -the Bronfmans, Alison Mack etc were under the spell of this charlatan and were victims. These very same women branded, extorted and abused many people (some whom were underage) and are fully responsible for their actions. Ms. Natalie herself comes across as immature and needy and really the whole bloody bunch of these people come across as either weak and dependent (at their best) to sadistic and greedy (at their worst) and capable of much evil under the guise of raising human potential.
I would really like to read a more objective and deep analysis of what developed with this group.
November 10, 2019
I viewed a profile of Keith Raniere on a crime news show, but I had no idea how deep the scandal and turmoil with him goes. Toni Natalie, an exgirlfriend of Raniere, shares his story from her perspective. How did this man get tens of thousands of people in multiple countries to not only believe him, but to believe IN him as a cult leader? My favorite aspect of the book is Toni’s presence. She’s been compared to Erin Brockovich. Talk about an empowered woman using her past experiences to help others heal!
I received a complimentary copy from the publisher.
Many of my reviews can also be found on instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
I received a complimentary copy from the publisher.
Many of my reviews can also be found on instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
July 12, 2024
I'm a sucker for cult shows, and Keith Reniere inspired multiple documentary series.
Yet it still feels like such a mystery as to why so many people followed this strange and obvious fraud. One never really gets to know what drove him, how anyone could find him charismatic, and what his philosophy even coherently meant.
Perhaps there's nothing there. Just a compulsive liar getting away with as much as he could until he went so far that he finally landed in jail.
Toni Natalie's book is a helpful resource on understanding his earlier years, before the branding and abuse headline with C-list celebrities. She was his ex back in the 90s, when he was but a simple pyramid scheme con artist. She tells many personal things about herself, from her own troubled childhood to sorrid details about her relationship with this awful man, which does give the memoir heart. Even though it's apparently not possible to ever figure out anything deep that drove Reneire.
Natalie went through a terrible time of abuse and legal harassment throughout the 2000s, highlighting the cruelty of this cult and its very brainwashed followers.
I found it an excellent supplemental read if one wants to learn more. An in-depth, scholarly biography of Keith Reneire will probably never be written, because there is a limit on how much to say. He lied constantly and was a depraved sex addict, that was it. All the self-help fake genius jargon was meaninglessly complex in the end. This book does as good a job as can be by expanding on the subject, by someone with intimate knowledge. I'm glad Toni Natalie told her traumatizing tale, and it was brave to do so.
Yet it still feels like such a mystery as to why so many people followed this strange and obvious fraud. One never really gets to know what drove him, how anyone could find him charismatic, and what his philosophy even coherently meant.
Perhaps there's nothing there. Just a compulsive liar getting away with as much as he could until he went so far that he finally landed in jail.
Toni Natalie's book is a helpful resource on understanding his earlier years, before the branding and abuse headline with C-list celebrities. She was his ex back in the 90s, when he was but a simple pyramid scheme con artist. She tells many personal things about herself, from her own troubled childhood to sorrid details about her relationship with this awful man, which does give the memoir heart. Even though it's apparently not possible to ever figure out anything deep that drove Reneire.
Natalie went through a terrible time of abuse and legal harassment throughout the 2000s, highlighting the cruelty of this cult and its very brainwashed followers.
I found it an excellent supplemental read if one wants to learn more. An in-depth, scholarly biography of Keith Reneire will probably never be written, because there is a limit on how much to say. He lied constantly and was a depraved sex addict, that was it. All the self-help fake genius jargon was meaninglessly complex in the end. This book does as good a job as can be by expanding on the subject, by someone with intimate knowledge. I'm glad Toni Natalie told her traumatizing tale, and it was brave to do so.
November 20, 2019
It's closer to a 3 star but I rounded it up for the author's attempted approach in trying to exhibit by specific examples the formation and use of psychotherapy theories. Theories pushed into group practices especially. These examples described! It does strongly convey how easily different types of personal onus therapy can hurt. Some times severely. And in the "help" process aftermath- a recovery that holds strong suicide prone states. Especially when "victim hood" becomes rather worthy or at least a nugget core of identity for supposed "strength". Amateurs and professionals with certificates of every ilk, IMHO, trespass the "First Do No Harm" line.
But this personal tale has gut wrenching details and life long repercussions. It's not just cultish or semi-religion or even like Scientology with a more legal structure supposed "base" definition. This is worse. Ghastly.
My only contact or hearsay about this NXIVM was viewing a short news documentary when he was convicted. It was through the eyes of one of the latter DOS woman's Mom's eyes. Hollywood celeb offspring experience of the period which is much, much later than when Toni Natalie was core.
So I didn't truly understand the progression or the history of this re-named and re-named "group". But I did see very early in the reading process that this has the biggest red flag of all for "self-improvement" scenario cults. And that is the criteria of what happens when you try to leave. And this particular tale of Toni's is far, far worse than most. WORSE than the episodes of "retribution, revenge, payback viscous" that are displayed in Leah Remini's "Aftermath" tv program.
Take this author with a grain of salt? Yes. What she has done herself is just at the edge of law, ethics, and in some cases criminal. But I don't oversee that fact as a point to take stars off the book. Yes, she tends to skip a year or switching period from one business to another. Especially just after "Awaken" failed. But that doesn't at all make the entire tale "iffy". It's well written and chronological for the most part. Not just in time sequences but in "awareness" to the control that was occurring.
Every one of these guys gets a core of 8 or 12 or 15 women to enslave. And that's the correct word. Slave. So it's 4 star just in the observation detail of how that over short, medium, long periods of time- tends to evolve. But the branding in this case was despicable as the breaking of all sexual conduct codes. Not just moral boundaries of every soul and physical sort but also by lawful pedophilia strictures.
That she conveys for nearly 1/2 the book after leaving by 2003- how she didn't "see" some living, lodging, manipulating, "humor", and other habits of this- I find that nearly impossible to believe. And there is repetition, because repetition is often nugget to this process. Toni IS the devil now- that's why she repeats the labeling.
She, herself, and her child and parents- extended family (like her brother who also was a suicide)- have suffered so immensely for 20 plus "aftermath" years of viscous paybacks, that it is hard for me to censure Toni Natalie. But she was a user too. Maybe at times, more so. How many people did she herself leave bankrupt?
But that doesn't reduce the quality of this tale for when, how, what, who etc. It's well done despite the few skips. Because you (the reader) really do "get" that once you are "in" (and how easy that become for many of these people)- there is enough $$$ there and evil technique that will NEVER let you off the hook. Never. She still is not.
The photographs are excellent. Sometimes one picture DOES say more than 1000 words. Also the inserts of his "notes" are 6 star for a psychologist. Interesting how she kept the poetry asides, at that!
This is recommended for those who are attracted to "self-help" library shelf and who core believe that psychology as often practiced is far more a scientific proven asset than I do. Keith Raniere belonged in an institution (jail or worse) since he was young- maybe 22 or 23. Very evil constantly shrouded within concern and charisma.
Forgive me an observation which is surely a prejudice but applicable here. Every one of these guys is small, long haired, eye-holder supreme, highly sexual in every nuance. Karish, Manson, L. Ron Hubbard, Raniere etc. She lists more.
Every member is a "seeker" to the "love" message.
All cults are not alike.
But this personal tale has gut wrenching details and life long repercussions. It's not just cultish or semi-religion or even like Scientology with a more legal structure supposed "base" definition. This is worse. Ghastly.
My only contact or hearsay about this NXIVM was viewing a short news documentary when he was convicted. It was through the eyes of one of the latter DOS woman's Mom's eyes. Hollywood celeb offspring experience of the period which is much, much later than when Toni Natalie was core.
So I didn't truly understand the progression or the history of this re-named and re-named "group". But I did see very early in the reading process that this has the biggest red flag of all for "self-improvement" scenario cults. And that is the criteria of what happens when you try to leave. And this particular tale of Toni's is far, far worse than most. WORSE than the episodes of "retribution, revenge, payback viscous" that are displayed in Leah Remini's "Aftermath" tv program.
Take this author with a grain of salt? Yes. What she has done herself is just at the edge of law, ethics, and in some cases criminal. But I don't oversee that fact as a point to take stars off the book. Yes, she tends to skip a year or switching period from one business to another. Especially just after "Awaken" failed. But that doesn't at all make the entire tale "iffy". It's well written and chronological for the most part. Not just in time sequences but in "awareness" to the control that was occurring.
Every one of these guys gets a core of 8 or 12 or 15 women to enslave. And that's the correct word. Slave. So it's 4 star just in the observation detail of how that over short, medium, long periods of time- tends to evolve. But the branding in this case was despicable as the breaking of all sexual conduct codes. Not just moral boundaries of every soul and physical sort but also by lawful pedophilia strictures.
That she conveys for nearly 1/2 the book after leaving by 2003- how she didn't "see" some living, lodging, manipulating, "humor", and other habits of this- I find that nearly impossible to believe. And there is repetition, because repetition is often nugget to this process. Toni IS the devil now- that's why she repeats the labeling.
She, herself, and her child and parents- extended family (like her brother who also was a suicide)- have suffered so immensely for 20 plus "aftermath" years of viscous paybacks, that it is hard for me to censure Toni Natalie. But she was a user too. Maybe at times, more so. How many people did she herself leave bankrupt?
But that doesn't reduce the quality of this tale for when, how, what, who etc. It's well done despite the few skips. Because you (the reader) really do "get" that once you are "in" (and how easy that become for many of these people)- there is enough $$$ there and evil technique that will NEVER let you off the hook. Never. She still is not.
The photographs are excellent. Sometimes one picture DOES say more than 1000 words. Also the inserts of his "notes" are 6 star for a psychologist. Interesting how she kept the poetry asides, at that!
This is recommended for those who are attracted to "self-help" library shelf and who core believe that psychology as often practiced is far more a scientific proven asset than I do. Keith Raniere belonged in an institution (jail or worse) since he was young- maybe 22 or 23. Very evil constantly shrouded within concern and charisma.
Forgive me an observation which is surely a prejudice but applicable here. Every one of these guys is small, long haired, eye-holder supreme, highly sexual in every nuance. Karish, Manson, L. Ron Hubbard, Raniere etc. She lists more.
Every member is a "seeker" to the "love" message.
All cults are not alike.
October 25, 2019
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS
I've heard of NXIVM. I think by now most people have. Call it multi-level marketing, a pyramid scheme or a cult, whatever you want, NXIVM is just plain bad news and a hot mess to clean up. No doubt many people suffered because of Keith Raniere. I'm sure that Toni Natalie and her son did. I feel especially bad for Michael whose childhood was severely impacted by Toni's association with Raniere. That's how cults work, they prey on our vulnerabilities. "It's not Toni's fault," I kept telling myself.
Still, there was something that kept niggling at me. Something that made me not like the woman I was reading about very much. On the one hand she is a mover and a shaker, on the other she is this docile, submissive partner who accepts that a man is keeping her a secret. It just feels like there is more to this story, like there are a bunch of missing chapters. One minute, Awaken the company Keith helped her found is doing great, the next she has left Awaken. No reason is given. What clinched the deal for me was the account of how Toni met Nancy Salzman. Apparently Toni, who is a self-admitted high school drop out dispensed medical advice and wrote a prescription for nutritional supplements. Um, there are laws against that! And there is a reason why people in the medical profession go to school for years! Toni though, doesn't see anything wrong with that. There is no, "I realize now that wasn't ok," no, there is zero accountability for her own wrongdoing in the whole hot mess. I get that you were in a cult. So were the Manson girls. It doesn't mean you aren't responsible for the harm you have caused while doing the cult leader's bidding.
Toni is still a believer in multi-level marketing, a fancy word for pyramid schemes, where the people on top reap most of the benefits. I can't shake the feeling that this was less a cult expose and more of a self-serving exercise in making a quick buck and sanitizing Toni's involvement in the whole thing.
I've heard of NXIVM. I think by now most people have. Call it multi-level marketing, a pyramid scheme or a cult, whatever you want, NXIVM is just plain bad news and a hot mess to clean up. No doubt many people suffered because of Keith Raniere. I'm sure that Toni Natalie and her son did. I feel especially bad for Michael whose childhood was severely impacted by Toni's association with Raniere. That's how cults work, they prey on our vulnerabilities. "It's not Toni's fault," I kept telling myself.
Still, there was something that kept niggling at me. Something that made me not like the woman I was reading about very much. On the one hand she is a mover and a shaker, on the other she is this docile, submissive partner who accepts that a man is keeping her a secret. It just feels like there is more to this story, like there are a bunch of missing chapters. One minute, Awaken the company Keith helped her found is doing great, the next she has left Awaken. No reason is given. What clinched the deal for me was the account of how Toni met Nancy Salzman. Apparently Toni, who is a self-admitted high school drop out dispensed medical advice and wrote a prescription for nutritional supplements. Um, there are laws against that! And there is a reason why people in the medical profession go to school for years! Toni though, doesn't see anything wrong with that. There is no, "I realize now that wasn't ok," no, there is zero accountability for her own wrongdoing in the whole hot mess. I get that you were in a cult. So were the Manson girls. It doesn't mean you aren't responsible for the harm you have caused while doing the cult leader's bidding.
Toni is still a believer in multi-level marketing, a fancy word for pyramid schemes, where the people on top reap most of the benefits. I can't shake the feeling that this was less a cult expose and more of a self-serving exercise in making a quick buck and sanitizing Toni's involvement in the whole thing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 8, 2021
Where to start with The Program?
First of all, it’s compelling as HELL. I blew through it in like three days? Which for someone who rarely has the attention span to knock out an entire nonfiction book is quite the feat. The writing style is incredibly conversational and easy to read. Chet Hardin and Toni Natalie have been friends for years and that really comes out in how Toni’s story is told.
If you’re new to the NXIVM story, this isn’t the place I’d start, though. I don’t think it’s written to be a starting point, either. Because The Program doesn’t focus on the main players, so to speak, of NXIVM’s downfall—Mark Vicente, Sarah Edmonson, the NXIVM Nine—this story starts before any of them, and is from one of the few people who knew Keith Raniere before he was a cult leader—the first person who saw him for what he was and the first person to start talking about it, Toni Natalie.
As someone who finds the story of NXIVM fascinating, and the stories of the people who helped it collapse super compelling, this was a must-read for me. Toni Natalie isn’t mentioned much in the documentaries that have come out—she shows up in later episodes of HBO’s The Vow, and she talks about how she met him, fell in love with him, realized he was a psychopath, broke up with him, and then was hunted FOR THE MAJORITY OF HER LIFE by Keith and his “girls”. And when I say hunted, well, I mean it. And what you get a taste of in The Vow you get the full meal of in The Program. Jesus. God. The THINGS this woman was put through! Sometimes the book would say something to the effect of “and this lasted for two years” about long-drawn out legal battles that weren’t based on anything except Keith Raniere being a petty little asshole who wanted to make Toni’s (and later, anyone who called him on his bullshit) life miserable. And it’s just casually thrown out there, like, yes, for two years I worked in my brother’s pizza shop for twelve hour days just to pay my legal fees while being surveilled by people Keith hired. I understand why they didn’t go into the minutiae of this, but GOD.
You can TELL Hardin and Natalie were DEDICATED to staying on topic, on telling the story as succinctly as possible. As I write this review, it’s becoming clear that while they were telling the story from Toni’s perspective, they were not exactly telling a story about Toni. As mentioned above, there’s the whole “and for x years/months this went on and I developed PTSD from it” and there’s even more shit that’s just thrown out all casual-like, such as an early line about how Toni’s first marriage was “to prevent a mob war” THAT IS MENTIONED ONLY ONCE MORE IN PASSING
MS TONI EXCUSE ME WHAT. PLEASE COME BACK I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
That’s the thing. Toni Natalie is FASCINATING even without her involvement with Keith! I’m pretty sure she could write an entire, utterly engrossing book about her life before she met Keith. I very much would read another book by and about her, or memoirs, and I honestly don’t like memoirs. Toni Natalie, I would read yours. She’s a successful businesswoman several times over, she’s a survivor, she is completely and totally badass and yet she has so much kindness and compassion.
That’s a big thing in this book: compassion. Toni Natalie had every right to launch scathing retort after insult after scream at every defector who contacted her (because they did. I wish they’d included more about that—how she became the unofficial networker for the defectors. Oh, and did I mention they all thought she was Satan? Yeah, because a major part of NXIVM’s teachings involved her being an example of the ultimate evil someone could become. YEAH. She mentions an interaction with Sarah Edmonson where Sarah SAID to her “I thought you were satan” and I NEED to know how the rest of that conversation could have even GONE).
She spent decades of her life trying to tell people what a monster Keith was, decades being abused by people she trusted (learning the depth of Nancy Salzman’s betrayal of Toni was rough, like godDAMN that woman has no conscience? Or professionalism?), being hounded in court by frivolous case after frivolous case, having to declare bankruptcy, being surveilled by Keith, having her dog killed by a PI watching her because of Keith, having her mail stolen and utilities turned off and losing jobs and having her husband catfished away and just on and ON.
And Toni still has compassion. The people in this company that are making her life miserable, who are gaslighting her and trying to lure her to Mexico to kill her—she still reaches out and tries to open their eyes (The Vow and The Program both talk about a letter she wrote to Mark Vicente asking him to look closer at Keith—also Mark Vicente book when???)
She still sympathizes with these women, who gave their lives and talents to him, but she never woobifies them. And that’s a really impressive balance that the writers have struck here: sympathy, forgiveness, even, but still being clear that these women still made choices and still did things that were criminal, and have to face the consequences of those actions. That was something you could feel through the whole book. Because Toni, of all people, knows how easy it is to get sucked into Keith’s orbit, but she never loses sight of how what they did was morally wrong and often, if not always, illegal.
This book also addressed something I’ve thought a bit about, something that’s not addressed in the bigger documentaries about NXIVM (it’s a focus of The Lost Women of NXIVM) and that is: was Keith Raniere always this way?
The Vow doesn’t really shed a lot of light on his pre-2010 life. One of the NXIVM Nine—Nine women who brought their concerns about the business to Keith and subsequently defected, resulting in many of them becoming entangled in arduous legal battles—Barbera Bouchey, even says in the Vow, while fighting tears, that Keith has so much potential. He could have done so much good. And it makes you wonder: what happened? What triggered one of the smartest men in the world to start a cult? Did he mean to, at least in the beginning? Did he genuinely want to help people and then the power went to his head? He had to have started with good intentions, right?
Not so much, according to Toni Natalie. The Program makes sure to highlight Keith’s long history of sexual predation of young girls and informs readers that Keith was, well, pretty much always that way. The people and tactics used to create NXVIM may have been a perfect storm of meeting the right people at the right time, but Keith was always a manipulative charlatan. Keith Raniere did not just wake up one day and realize he’d founded a cult and then went mad with power. No, he spent his life surrounding himself with beautiful, smart people he could manipulate. He was good at finding out a person’s weaknesses, and he was charismatic, and he knew how to sell himself. And Keith used those weaknesses or insecurities he found in smart, connected people and then used them to build his company.
Toni brings it up frequently—and apparently Keith brought it up every chance he got—that Toni dropped out of high school in tenth grade. But jesus fuck, this woman is smart and capable, and she was before she even met Keith. Keith kept knocking her down and Toni kept dusting herself off and getting back up—though not without help, something she repeats often.
So anyway. I really enjoyed The Program. The writing was very engaging and moved at a fast clip. I do get the feeling that either our authors or an editor was trying to keep the story as streamlined as possible, or someone was keeping the story compact to get a specific publishing date. And like, I get it, it’s really hard to tell a streamlined story about NXIVM because it’s layer upon layer—much like NXIVM itself, it’s like a bunch of shell companies tucked inside one another like nesting dolls. And Toni’s story has so much going on that there’s a lot to unpack. Like I said before, she had plenty of story before she even met Keith, and she’s been fighting him for so long and she’s been in contact with so many other people who left or escaped or tried to get the attention of the authorities or wrote about NXIVM that there’s so much story to tell. I think that’s one of the lasting impressions I’m having of this book: that I want more. If allowed, I fully believe Toni and Chet could write a massive 1000 page book you could also use as a weapon about NXIVM and Toni’s unique perspective of the defectors and the company’s legal strategy. But also, that might just be me and a new hyperfixation come home to roost, thanks ADHD.
If you’re interested in NXIVM or cults, this is a must-read. If you’ve heard about NXIVM and want to read this, but don’t know who Allison Mack is, just watch the A&E special on Cults and Extreme beliefs, there’s an episode on NXIVM. It’s an hour, and then you can dive in to this.
Anyway, Ms. Natalie, I hope your book rakes in the cash and that it pisses Keith off to no end, and that you can retire somewhere with a beach and drink mai-tais or whatever-all you want, ma’am, you deserve it.
(also, I get really irritated at all these “be resilient!:)):!” books from people who like. Haven’t gone through anything. I would LOVE a book like that from Toni Natalie. This woman has seen some SHIT and the fact that she let Kristin Keefe and Mark Vicente into her home and didn’t just immediately start throwing things is INCREDIBLE. I don’t think she’d ever say it, but Toni Natalie is the embodiment of the Karen Walker quote, “because I’m a lady, ass-face.” Like, she’s gonna call it like she sees it but she’s going to be classy af while doing it.)
First of all, it’s compelling as HELL. I blew through it in like three days? Which for someone who rarely has the attention span to knock out an entire nonfiction book is quite the feat. The writing style is incredibly conversational and easy to read. Chet Hardin and Toni Natalie have been friends for years and that really comes out in how Toni’s story is told.
If you’re new to the NXIVM story, this isn’t the place I’d start, though. I don’t think it’s written to be a starting point, either. Because The Program doesn’t focus on the main players, so to speak, of NXIVM’s downfall—Mark Vicente, Sarah Edmonson, the NXIVM Nine—this story starts before any of them, and is from one of the few people who knew Keith Raniere before he was a cult leader—the first person who saw him for what he was and the first person to start talking about it, Toni Natalie.
As someone who finds the story of NXIVM fascinating, and the stories of the people who helped it collapse super compelling, this was a must-read for me. Toni Natalie isn’t mentioned much in the documentaries that have come out—she shows up in later episodes of HBO’s The Vow, and she talks about how she met him, fell in love with him, realized he was a psychopath, broke up with him, and then was hunted FOR THE MAJORITY OF HER LIFE by Keith and his “girls”. And when I say hunted, well, I mean it. And what you get a taste of in The Vow you get the full meal of in The Program. Jesus. God. The THINGS this woman was put through! Sometimes the book would say something to the effect of “and this lasted for two years” about long-drawn out legal battles that weren’t based on anything except Keith Raniere being a petty little asshole who wanted to make Toni’s (and later, anyone who called him on his bullshit) life miserable. And it’s just casually thrown out there, like, yes, for two years I worked in my brother’s pizza shop for twelve hour days just to pay my legal fees while being surveilled by people Keith hired. I understand why they didn’t go into the minutiae of this, but GOD.
You can TELL Hardin and Natalie were DEDICATED to staying on topic, on telling the story as succinctly as possible. As I write this review, it’s becoming clear that while they were telling the story from Toni’s perspective, they were not exactly telling a story about Toni. As mentioned above, there’s the whole “and for x years/months this went on and I developed PTSD from it” and there’s even more shit that’s just thrown out all casual-like, such as an early line about how Toni’s first marriage was “to prevent a mob war” THAT IS MENTIONED ONLY ONCE MORE IN PASSING
MS TONI EXCUSE ME WHAT. PLEASE COME BACK I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
That’s the thing. Toni Natalie is FASCINATING even without her involvement with Keith! I’m pretty sure she could write an entire, utterly engrossing book about her life before she met Keith. I very much would read another book by and about her, or memoirs, and I honestly don’t like memoirs. Toni Natalie, I would read yours. She’s a successful businesswoman several times over, she’s a survivor, she is completely and totally badass and yet she has so much kindness and compassion.
That’s a big thing in this book: compassion. Toni Natalie had every right to launch scathing retort after insult after scream at every defector who contacted her (because they did. I wish they’d included more about that—how she became the unofficial networker for the defectors. Oh, and did I mention they all thought she was Satan? Yeah, because a major part of NXIVM’s teachings involved her being an example of the ultimate evil someone could become. YEAH. She mentions an interaction with Sarah Edmonson where Sarah SAID to her “I thought you were satan” and I NEED to know how the rest of that conversation could have even GONE).
She spent decades of her life trying to tell people what a monster Keith was, decades being abused by people she trusted (learning the depth of Nancy Salzman’s betrayal of Toni was rough, like godDAMN that woman has no conscience? Or professionalism?), being hounded in court by frivolous case after frivolous case, having to declare bankruptcy, being surveilled by Keith, having her dog killed by a PI watching her because of Keith, having her mail stolen and utilities turned off and losing jobs and having her husband catfished away and just on and ON.
And Toni still has compassion. The people in this company that are making her life miserable, who are gaslighting her and trying to lure her to Mexico to kill her—she still reaches out and tries to open their eyes (The Vow and The Program both talk about a letter she wrote to Mark Vicente asking him to look closer at Keith—also Mark Vicente book when???)
She still sympathizes with these women, who gave their lives and talents to him, but she never woobifies them. And that’s a really impressive balance that the writers have struck here: sympathy, forgiveness, even, but still being clear that these women still made choices and still did things that were criminal, and have to face the consequences of those actions. That was something you could feel through the whole book. Because Toni, of all people, knows how easy it is to get sucked into Keith’s orbit, but she never loses sight of how what they did was morally wrong and often, if not always, illegal.
This book also addressed something I’ve thought a bit about, something that’s not addressed in the bigger documentaries about NXIVM (it’s a focus of The Lost Women of NXIVM) and that is: was Keith Raniere always this way?
The Vow doesn’t really shed a lot of light on his pre-2010 life. One of the NXIVM Nine—Nine women who brought their concerns about the business to Keith and subsequently defected, resulting in many of them becoming entangled in arduous legal battles—Barbera Bouchey, even says in the Vow, while fighting tears, that Keith has so much potential. He could have done so much good. And it makes you wonder: what happened? What triggered one of the smartest men in the world to start a cult? Did he mean to, at least in the beginning? Did he genuinely want to help people and then the power went to his head? He had to have started with good intentions, right?
Not so much, according to Toni Natalie. The Program makes sure to highlight Keith’s long history of sexual predation of young girls and informs readers that Keith was, well, pretty much always that way. The people and tactics used to create NXVIM may have been a perfect storm of meeting the right people at the right time, but Keith was always a manipulative charlatan. Keith Raniere did not just wake up one day and realize he’d founded a cult and then went mad with power. No, he spent his life surrounding himself with beautiful, smart people he could manipulate. He was good at finding out a person’s weaknesses, and he was charismatic, and he knew how to sell himself. And Keith used those weaknesses or insecurities he found in smart, connected people and then used them to build his company.
Toni brings it up frequently—and apparently Keith brought it up every chance he got—that Toni dropped out of high school in tenth grade. But jesus fuck, this woman is smart and capable, and she was before she even met Keith. Keith kept knocking her down and Toni kept dusting herself off and getting back up—though not without help, something she repeats often.
So anyway. I really enjoyed The Program. The writing was very engaging and moved at a fast clip. I do get the feeling that either our authors or an editor was trying to keep the story as streamlined as possible, or someone was keeping the story compact to get a specific publishing date. And like, I get it, it’s really hard to tell a streamlined story about NXIVM because it’s layer upon layer—much like NXIVM itself, it’s like a bunch of shell companies tucked inside one another like nesting dolls. And Toni’s story has so much going on that there’s a lot to unpack. Like I said before, she had plenty of story before she even met Keith, and she’s been fighting him for so long and she’s been in contact with so many other people who left or escaped or tried to get the attention of the authorities or wrote about NXIVM that there’s so much story to tell. I think that’s one of the lasting impressions I’m having of this book: that I want more. If allowed, I fully believe Toni and Chet could write a massive 1000 page book you could also use as a weapon about NXIVM and Toni’s unique perspective of the defectors and the company’s legal strategy. But also, that might just be me and a new hyperfixation come home to roost, thanks ADHD.
If you’re interested in NXIVM or cults, this is a must-read. If you’ve heard about NXIVM and want to read this, but don’t know who Allison Mack is, just watch the A&E special on Cults and Extreme beliefs, there’s an episode on NXIVM. It’s an hour, and then you can dive in to this.
Anyway, Ms. Natalie, I hope your book rakes in the cash and that it pisses Keith off to no end, and that you can retire somewhere with a beach and drink mai-tais or whatever-all you want, ma’am, you deserve it.
(also, I get really irritated at all these “be resilient!:)):!” books from people who like. Haven’t gone through anything. I would LOVE a book like that from Toni Natalie. This woman has seen some SHIT and the fact that she let Kristin Keefe and Mark Vicente into her home and didn’t just immediately start throwing things is INCREDIBLE. I don’t think she’d ever say it, but Toni Natalie is the embodiment of the Karen Walker quote, “because I’m a lady, ass-face.” Like, she’s gonna call it like she sees it but she’s going to be classy af while doing it.)
May 21, 2023
They are all martyrs to the cause, all expendable.
But not me. Not Toni Natalie.
I'm the one who got away.
So if anyone remembers that crazy news story about some self-help cult in New York state that was branding women a few years ago, this is a story about them. The one that had the actress from Smallville (Allison Mack) in it and Catherine Oxenberg's daughter, India?
If you saw the HBO documentary, "The Vow", Toni Natalie was featured in season 1 and (briefly, I think) in season 2. This is her memoir of her time spent with Raniere in the years leading up to the creation of NXIVM and his adoption of the moniker "Vanguard" (named after an arcade game he used to play) and the literal decades of torment she endured from his minions for having the audacity to reject him:
"And, Toni?"
"Yes?"
"You need to start calling him Vanguard."
Vanguard. Like he was a hunky member of the Justice League and not a megalomaniacal con man who looked like Rick Moranis. I laughed in her face.
"Fuck that," I said.
In what became the NXIVM playbook (borrowed heavily from Scientology), Toni was subjected to endless harassment after she left: her home was broken into multiple times, her mail was stolen, her dog was poisoned, she and her family were bankrupted by an avalanche of nuisance lawsuits, and most bizarrely, with assistance from higher-ups in NXIVM Mexico, a plan was hatched to lure her and other "enemies", including cult de-programmer Rick Ross, to Mexico where they would be thrown into jail and tortured/murdered. Fortunately, the "smartest man in the world" and his inner circle were largely dumbasses. And Toni Natalie?
Toni Natalie is a fucking badass. And because she was there in the early years (she was the one who introduced Keith Raniere to Nancy Saltzman, the heads of NXIVM who are currently both in prison), she knows these people well and has a lot of insight to share. Or gossip, some would say. Regardless of what you call it, girl, I was living:
Keith already had disciples, but his "girls" all had flaws. Pam was a space cadet, too flighty and dim to stand with him. Kristin was too headstrong, and didn't bring enough expertise to the table. Karen had the brains and the capacity for evil but lacked the charisma....While he had wooed me as a lover and partner however, he had failed to convert me to the Church of Keith.
Gossip/insight with a heavy splash of vinegar, I should add. If anyone has earned this, it's Toni.
This book covers the period right up to Keith's guilty verdict and the indictment of his co-conspirators and since Toni followed the trial closely and often in person, you'll learn lots of interesting, sometimes schadenfreude-laden and hilarious, tidbits from that time as well:
Her [Clare Bronfman's] attorney at the time, Susan Necheles, was a hot mess: frustrated, interrupting the judge......After the hearing, Necheles was unable to find her car, leaving Clare to wander the streets while photographers snapped her picture.
So, to summarize--
Is this worth reading?
As you might have guessed, I have gone down a deep rabbit hole with this story and I still found this book interesting. Toni was an insider from the start, often reluctantly. This is perspective no one else has. I also think you can easily follow this without knowing the extensive backstory.
I want to read ONE book/watch one documentary about NXIVM. Is this it?
No, you should definitely read Don't Call It a Cult: The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM by Sarah Berman.
In conclusion: Natalie and her ghost writer, reporter Chet Hardin, write well and succinctly and the snark really is the icing. I'm not sure if this is a four star read for everyone, but I got four stars of entertainment out of it.
January 5, 2020
I work at a library, and when I saw this on the “new non-fiction” display, I snatched it immediately and haven’t stopped reading it since. I live in Troy, NY, only miles away from Clifton Park. I was enthralled with the story of NXIVM when it made the news. I also discovered that a job I applied to was possibly a cover for one of Raniere’s recruitment seminars. (Luckily, I couldn’t afford to take time off for a “6-week unpaid training” and thought it was very suspicious that I wasn’t even given an interview.)
I had no idea just how long this had been going on. Toni explained the entire timeline and shed her personal insight and experiences, and she is so brave for leaving and continuing the fight to expose him despite the havoc he wreaked on her family and her life. Raniere was an insanely narcissistic con man who, unfortunately, used his abnormal intelligence to hurt, manipulate, and control others. This is a fascinating account and inside look at Raniere and his various MLM schemes and cult programs, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has an interest in reading about it in depth.
I had no idea just how long this had been going on. Toni explained the entire timeline and shed her personal insight and experiences, and she is so brave for leaving and continuing the fight to expose him despite the havoc he wreaked on her family and her life. Raniere was an insanely narcissistic con man who, unfortunately, used his abnormal intelligence to hurt, manipulate, and control others. This is a fascinating account and inside look at Raniere and his various MLM schemes and cult programs, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has an interest in reading about it in depth.
November 30, 2021
This book is a combo biography of Keith Rainer and the author’s memoir of her experiences. The biographical info is admirably level-headed, considering his eye rolling puffery and tooth grinding sadism.
She is one of his earlier girlfriends who got away. He never forgave her for that and she became a cautionary tale that KR warned everyone about her being the devil, as he besmirched her reputation, on and on, ad infinitum. What had she done to piss him off so much? It’s a story of jaw dropping ridiculousness you have to read to believe.
I had heard of this woman in other exposés and was curious how the breakup happened and how she got away. But apparently he doesn’t like to be reminded he’s wwwwrong. Not one tiny bit! I’ve had a past boyfriend do the same thing to me, and I’m sure there are many others out there who experienced the same thing. It’s very minor, mundane, and he’s such a baby-man drama queen!
But seriously, it is frightening to see the ferocity of his revenge when she dumps him. I would have changed my name and moved to Canada.
It’s worth it just to hear her story. I feel that reading this acknowledges and gives respect to her trauma. At the end of his trial, I was sitting right next to her, cheering her on as he received his comeuppance. I bet she went home and got the first restful night of sleep in decades.
It’s a little hard to follow the sequence of events she’s not privy to in the cult, and sometimes it seems strange that she alternates using Keith and Nancy’s names with their self-chosen titles Vanguard and Prefect. Also that annoying convention of calling the labia or vulva the “vagina.” She’s a gal and should know the difference!
I also enjoyed hearing her and her co-writer on YouTube, but I never got a sense of exactly when he twigged to the KR’s crimes. It feels like this duo should do a second edition with more meta information. I’d read it!
She is one of his earlier girlfriends who got away. He never forgave her for that and she became a cautionary tale that KR warned everyone about her being the devil, as he besmirched her reputation, on and on, ad infinitum. What had she done to piss him off so much? It’s a story of jaw dropping ridiculousness you have to read to believe.
I had heard of this woman in other exposés and was curious how the breakup happened and how she got away. But apparently he doesn’t like to be reminded he’s wwwwrong. Not one tiny bit! I’ve had a past boyfriend do the same thing to me, and I’m sure there are many others out there who experienced the same thing. It’s very minor, mundane, and he’s such a baby-man drama queen!
But seriously, it is frightening to see the ferocity of his revenge when she dumps him. I would have changed my name and moved to Canada.
It’s worth it just to hear her story. I feel that reading this acknowledges and gives respect to her trauma. At the end of his trial, I was sitting right next to her, cheering her on as he received his comeuppance. I bet she went home and got the first restful night of sleep in decades.
It’s a little hard to follow the sequence of events she’s not privy to in the cult, and sometimes it seems strange that she alternates using Keith and Nancy’s names with their self-chosen titles Vanguard and Prefect. Also that annoying convention of calling the labia or vulva the “vagina.” She’s a gal and should know the difference!
I also enjoyed hearing her and her co-writer on YouTube, but I never got a sense of exactly when he twigged to the KR’s crimes. It feels like this duo should do a second edition with more meta information. I’d read it!
November 12, 2019
This was not my first dive into the world of NXIVM, and I think having background knowledge worked to my benefit as a reader. Having listened to the CBC Uncover podcast on the same topic, I already knew about some of the more horrific details towards the end of Raniere's power.
This book focuses more on the beginnings of NXIVM, and how Raniere was able to gain the trust of his earlier followers and lovers. Toni Natalie goes into great detail about the business and economic side of NXIVM's formation. In fact, the more publicized aspects of the case aren't discussed until the last quarter of the book. I think that this is an important perspective on a fascinating case.
If you aren't already familiar with NXIVM or you aren't interested in the ethics of MLM companies, I would suggest reading or listening to some of the other journalism pieces about this subject first. I would absolutely recommend this book if you are interested in taking a deep dive into the horrific story, from someone who was part of it from the early stages.
This book focuses more on the beginnings of NXIVM, and how Raniere was able to gain the trust of his earlier followers and lovers. Toni Natalie goes into great detail about the business and economic side of NXIVM's formation. In fact, the more publicized aspects of the case aren't discussed until the last quarter of the book. I think that this is an important perspective on a fascinating case.
If you aren't already familiar with NXIVM or you aren't interested in the ethics of MLM companies, I would suggest reading or listening to some of the other journalism pieces about this subject first. I would absolutely recommend this book if you are interested in taking a deep dive into the horrific story, from someone who was part of it from the early stages.
November 9, 2020
For me, this was a fairly quick and interesting read. I've read/watched other stuff about NXIVM but Natalie's story gets in kind of at the ground floor (and gets out before the branding) so it's a different perspective. This is definitely the kind of memoir where the writing itself isn't anything special but the story is compelling. If you're interested in cults in general and NXIVM in particular, I think it's worth a read.
October 13, 2019
Thank freaking god this guy was found guilty.
Okay read, a little repetitive at times, but reading Toni’s story was important to me. Thank you for sharing and trusting us readers. ❤️
~2.5~
Okay read, a little repetitive at times, but reading Toni’s story was important to me. Thank you for sharing and trusting us readers. ❤️
~2.5~
January 1, 2021
Well. What a crazy world this is. I had read some news articles a few years ago about someone supposedly known from TV, an actrice helped this man and they were in a cult.
Move the clock to this year (okay 2020) and I was recommended this book. I also had a copy of Scarred another book about the cult so I read them both together.
Wow wow wow. What I notice most is one the curtain fell foor this Keith Raniere guy his followers. all of a sudden think nothing at all was good.It is interesting that for a lot of people when something bad happens they only see the bad. I understand that they want to say they are victims and I think they are in a way but my my my how they profited of it all as well. ( Not so much talking about Toni Natalie by the way but I do think that about for one Sarah Edmondson. She was so good in getting so many others to sign up for this thing which cost them a ton of money and I am sure she believed it was all so good but take some responsibility about that. Same with the filmmaker guy.
Then we have all the women like the famous actress (I had never heard of by the way) I did learn that so far she is not receiving any punishment. Was allowed to stay at home thanks to a probably expensive lawyer while the other women did get jail time. (not enough in my humble opinion)
The book. I did think it was interesting to read about the beginning. It came very quickly apparent that the author had a lot of penned up anger. Nothing about the man she liked so much back in the days is good now. I hope she now can let go of creep Keith and heal.
Move the clock to this year (okay 2020) and I was recommended this book. I also had a copy of Scarred another book about the cult so I read them both together.
Wow wow wow. What I notice most is one the curtain fell foor this Keith Raniere guy his followers. all of a sudden think nothing at all was good.It is interesting that for a lot of people when something bad happens they only see the bad. I understand that they want to say they are victims and I think they are in a way but my my my how they profited of it all as well. ( Not so much talking about Toni Natalie by the way but I do think that about for one Sarah Edmondson. She was so good in getting so many others to sign up for this thing which cost them a ton of money and I am sure she believed it was all so good but take some responsibility about that. Same with the filmmaker guy.
Then we have all the women like the famous actress (I had never heard of by the way) I did learn that so far she is not receiving any punishment. Was allowed to stay at home thanks to a probably expensive lawyer while the other women did get jail time. (not enough in my humble opinion)
The book. I did think it was interesting to read about the beginning. It came very quickly apparent that the author had a lot of penned up anger. Nothing about the man she liked so much back in the days is good now. I hope she now can let go of creep Keith and heal.
February 7, 2020
Okay, if THIS fucker can convince people that he’s the smartest man in the world, and create a pyramid scheme that morphs into a cult filled with his own personal sex slaves... then YOU can do ANYTHING!!
•
This is the story of the rise and fall of Keith Raniere the leader & creator of NXIVM & DOS (nicknamed the Hollywood Sex Cult).
•
I debated rating this one because at times it seemed more like a memoir, due to the fact that the author was an ex-girlfriend of Keith and an ex-member of NXIVM. She shares such personal moments and has overcome so much mistreatment at the hands of Keith and his followers.
•
Here’s what I liked:
• Cult info!
• Great look into cult leader behavior
• First-hand personal story
• The Ending; Justice was finally served
•
What I didn’t like:
• The timeline bounced around and confused me at times (probably bc I was listening to the audiobook rather than reading)
• Seemed repetitive at times
•
This is the story of the rise and fall of Keith Raniere the leader & creator of NXIVM & DOS (nicknamed the Hollywood Sex Cult).
•
I debated rating this one because at times it seemed more like a memoir, due to the fact that the author was an ex-girlfriend of Keith and an ex-member of NXIVM. She shares such personal moments and has overcome so much mistreatment at the hands of Keith and his followers.
•
Here’s what I liked:
• Cult info!
• Great look into cult leader behavior
• First-hand personal story
• The Ending; Justice was finally served
•
What I didn’t like:
• The timeline bounced around and confused me at times (probably bc I was listening to the audiobook rather than reading)
• Seemed repetitive at times
December 5, 2020
I think Toni and Chet did an amazing job of going into both her (Toni’s) history with Keith and the history of NXIVM. It was interesting and heartbreaking to hear about the ways cults draw people in and break down peoples ethics and beliefs and sense of self. It was sad to hear about the lives that were recklessly destroyed because of an egotistical man who couldn’t stand to be wrong in any situation.
April 21, 2021
This book was excellent, at times difficult to read. Post-Trump, we all have a working knowledge of malignant, sociopathic narcissism, but Raniere's victims did not. He destroyed lives, sanity and created trauma for survivors for years to come. Hopefully he'll be in jail for a very long time.
November 21, 2020
The story is harrowing. The writing is a bit confused and disorganized
January 21, 2021
Messed up and great read. There were some issues with the author and objectivity. Still good.
August 11, 2020
Do you ever read something and go "what the fuck"? Because that was my response to almost the entirety of this. Just when you think that it could not get more depraved, more, well, evil it does. There's nothing to say or justify what happened, what was done to these women -- and those others who were judged as "enemies" to Raniere. It's completely horrifying, almost defies belief, but at the same time doesn't.
Up until recently, NXIVM had been something I wasn't too familiar with; I'd only been vaguely aware of the headlines when it blew up a few years back. It was only when I was bored and going through YouTube vids on the subject of MLMs that I came across one that was dedicated to NXIVM and the cult of sexual slavery that Raniere built using it that I really understood and learned what had happened. The video in question was one by illuminaughtii, highly recommend it but know that it is deeply disturbing in the details that it discloses. She mentioned this book, so I immediately went and reserved a copy of it at the library and lo, here I am not even twenty-four hours later, having finished it and just. Boggling at everything.
Truly, I feel deeply for Tony Natalie and all of the other victims -- with everything that they were put through, that Raniere did, I don't believe there can be forgiveness. Ultimately, the blame lies at him, but there are others involved that I believe are not blameless either, even though they, too, are victims. It's a difficult to read trainwreck that gutpunches you and then continues to get worse until, eventually, it comes to a conclusion where there is some justice for those wronged, for those whose suffering Raniere oversaw and instigated.
Certainly, there is an amount of shock value to such a memoir. But, at the same time, it's shock value that has purpose, that has meaning. There is much that you can take from this, that you can learn and that, hopefully, might reach someone who needs it -- who might find themselves in a similar situation. Or, even, help keep someone from going down such a path, to falling victim to such a conman and his intricate web of lies, deceit, crime, and manipulation.
To all those who spoke out: Thank you. It might have taken years, but your stories have been heard and you are believed.
Up until recently, NXIVM had been something I wasn't too familiar with; I'd only been vaguely aware of the headlines when it blew up a few years back. It was only when I was bored and going through YouTube vids on the subject of MLMs that I came across one that was dedicated to NXIVM and the cult of sexual slavery that Raniere built using it that I really understood and learned what had happened. The video in question was one by illuminaughtii, highly recommend it but know that it is deeply disturbing in the details that it discloses. She mentioned this book, so I immediately went and reserved a copy of it at the library and lo, here I am not even twenty-four hours later, having finished it and just. Boggling at everything.
Truly, I feel deeply for Tony Natalie and all of the other victims -- with everything that they were put through, that Raniere did, I don't believe there can be forgiveness. Ultimately, the blame lies at him, but there are others involved that I believe are not blameless either, even though they, too, are victims. It's a difficult to read trainwreck that gutpunches you and then continues to get worse until, eventually, it comes to a conclusion where there is some justice for those wronged, for those whose suffering Raniere oversaw and instigated.
Certainly, there is an amount of shock value to such a memoir. But, at the same time, it's shock value that has purpose, that has meaning. There is much that you can take from this, that you can learn and that, hopefully, might reach someone who needs it -- who might find themselves in a similar situation. Or, even, help keep someone from going down such a path, to falling victim to such a conman and his intricate web of lies, deceit, crime, and manipulation.
To all those who spoke out: Thank you. It might have taken years, but your stories have been heard and you are believed.
December 22, 2020
Wow. Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.
I was especially interested in learning about NXIVM because the organization (cult) was headquartered only ten minutes from where I live and Keith Raniere also attended my alma mater (RPI). I read this book with previous knowledge about NXIVM, from hearing news and reading online articles and watching an episode of the A&E series about cults pertaining to NXIVM.
While this book isn’t necessarily about the workings of Keith’s mind particularly, as the title may imply, but rather Toni Natalie’s detailed account of her experiences with Raniere and his many multilevel marketing businesses. She bravely tells her story, outlines how she met Keith and became involved in his business enterprises, as well as how the development of their relationship. Natalie described her attempts to rid Keith from her life and the many ways that he retaliated and tried to destroy her life. She concludes the book by describing the fall of the organization and the court trials against Raniere, resulting in his indictment after over 20 years of criminal activity.
The way she tells her story is inspiring and detailed and she has much evidence to back up her account of what transpired. She injects testimonies and evidence between the chapters of her personal story. The stories of the many women affected by NXIVM and DOS is truly heartbreaking. This is certainly an interesting read, and the details all align with everything I’ve heard about NXIVM to this day. I don’t think anyone will be able to comprise such a comprehensive book about Keith Raniere and his transformation into Vanguard.
I was especially interested in learning about NXIVM because the organization (cult) was headquartered only ten minutes from where I live and Keith Raniere also attended my alma mater (RPI). I read this book with previous knowledge about NXIVM, from hearing news and reading online articles and watching an episode of the A&E series about cults pertaining to NXIVM.
While this book isn’t necessarily about the workings of Keith’s mind particularly, as the title may imply, but rather Toni Natalie’s detailed account of her experiences with Raniere and his many multilevel marketing businesses. She bravely tells her story, outlines how she met Keith and became involved in his business enterprises, as well as how the development of their relationship. Natalie described her attempts to rid Keith from her life and the many ways that he retaliated and tried to destroy her life. She concludes the book by describing the fall of the organization and the court trials against Raniere, resulting in his indictment after over 20 years of criminal activity.
The way she tells her story is inspiring and detailed and she has much evidence to back up her account of what transpired. She injects testimonies and evidence between the chapters of her personal story. The stories of the many women affected by NXIVM and DOS is truly heartbreaking. This is certainly an interesting read, and the details all align with everything I’ve heard about NXIVM to this day. I don’t think anyone will be able to comprise such a comprehensive book about Keith Raniere and his transformation into Vanguard.
January 23, 2021
Horrible experience, but interesting details. Natalie made her escape before Raniere escalated into more horrific practices against women and even before he designed some of the most concerning programs within NXIVM. One should turn to this book expecting the story of Natalie’s experience with a controlling, vindictive, madman and not expect the whole story of what happened inside the NXIVM cult.
I have now read three women’s accounts in dealing with NXIVM (from inside and outside) and I am still left with the feeling that there was more, and is there any wonder since this occurred over many years, through multiple different registered businesses, in multiple states and countries, and the evidence was said to be many many multiple terabytes worth? Aside from the sheer scale, I believe that some things simply can’t be known for sure. Several women who had been inside NXIVM the longest became severely ill and died, there were multiple suicides over the course of years, and there was one instance in which many people became violently ill at one time (not anyone in the upper levels of control) and all recovered. All of those things are suspicious, but the truth about how involved the cult and Raniere were in each may not be knowable. Considering that, no one personal account can give the full picture and can’t be expected.
I have now read three women’s accounts in dealing with NXIVM (from inside and outside) and I am still left with the feeling that there was more, and is there any wonder since this occurred over many years, through multiple different registered businesses, in multiple states and countries, and the evidence was said to be many many multiple terabytes worth? Aside from the sheer scale, I believe that some things simply can’t be known for sure. Several women who had been inside NXIVM the longest became severely ill and died, there were multiple suicides over the course of years, and there was one instance in which many people became violently ill at one time (not anyone in the upper levels of control) and all recovered. All of those things are suspicious, but the truth about how involved the cult and Raniere were in each may not be knowable. Considering that, no one personal account can give the full picture and can’t be expected.
May 23, 2020
It feels as though the book may have benefited from another 50 or so pages. Some areas feel rushed, leading to confusion in some places where seemingly important details are regulated to a sentence or two.
That said, while Toni wasn't around for some of the more depraved acts perpetrated within the group, it is a story that is just as important. Seeing the way Raniere manipulated his way through life long before NXIVM undercut his pleas of innocence and ignorance. The campaigns of terrorism that he signed off on show a man that would not stand to be defied, even when his victims had nothing left he kept coming. He wanted to be in control of them, always.
Toni's descriptions of Keith show his textbook manipulation tactics from their first meetings. He monopolizes her time, flatters her, isolates her, and when she tries to leave he exploits weaknesses she trusted him with. It's an abusive relationship long before he assaults her.
This book gives a better picture of what the people who tried to stand against a cult leader were put through. Nearly 30 years of chaos that claimed at least 3 lives, and touched 1000s more. The NXIVM story is more than branding and the label of "sex cult". Toni's book shows where things started; how things got so bad.
That said, while Toni wasn't around for some of the more depraved acts perpetrated within the group, it is a story that is just as important. Seeing the way Raniere manipulated his way through life long before NXIVM undercut his pleas of innocence and ignorance. The campaigns of terrorism that he signed off on show a man that would not stand to be defied, even when his victims had nothing left he kept coming. He wanted to be in control of them, always.
Toni's descriptions of Keith show his textbook manipulation tactics from their first meetings. He monopolizes her time, flatters her, isolates her, and when she tries to leave he exploits weaknesses she trusted him with. It's an abusive relationship long before he assaults her.
This book gives a better picture of what the people who tried to stand against a cult leader were put through. Nearly 30 years of chaos that claimed at least 3 lives, and touched 1000s more. The NXIVM story is more than branding and the label of "sex cult". Toni's book shows where things started; how things got so bad.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 7, 2022
First of all, I have to say I never had heard about NXIVM before. At least I have never looked into it. So this was my first look into this cult. And I really really enjoyed all the details, personal and otherwise about the rise and the fall of the cult.
I saw some reviews, saying that they expected more of personal notes from the author, but it is in the title - that this is a story about how it came to be and how it destroyed itself. I felt like there was enough of a personal touch from the author and survivor of this cult. There's so much information on how she was personally attacked over the years by the leader and his collective.
It was a very detailed account of what was happening inside the cult, while the author was on the inside, and what was happening after she left. The amount of money and energy put into keeping everyone under control. keeping the image, brainwashing the people around him - I am always mind blown how people can believe such personas.
It was eye opening, intriguing, disgusting, but also typical of a cult kind of book. I'm fascinated.
I saw some reviews, saying that they expected more of personal notes from the author, but it is in the title - that this is a story about how it came to be and how it destroyed itself. I felt like there was enough of a personal touch from the author and survivor of this cult. There's so much information on how she was personally attacked over the years by the leader and his collective.
It was a very detailed account of what was happening inside the cult, while the author was on the inside, and what was happening after she left. The amount of money and energy put into keeping everyone under control. keeping the image, brainwashing the people around him - I am always mind blown how people can believe such personas.
It was eye opening, intriguing, disgusting, but also typical of a cult kind of book. I'm fascinated.
October 1, 2019
I'm bailing at 43%. I should not be this bored this far in, not while listening to the audiobook (even speeding it up to 2.25x didn't help). For such a crazy cult, the author escaped pretty early on before the insane sex branding/Alison Mack crap happened. So she was there for most of the boring pyramid scheme type business failures and Raniere's borrowing from other cult like groups to form the beginning of NXIVM. Keith Raniere is definitely a sociopathic narcissist with masochist behavior, but he's also boring as hell. I'm not saying I couldn't fall for a cult (I mean, a bookish one would totally have my number), but how Keith Raniere mind-bamboozled so many people is astounding. I'm glad Toni Natalie made it out, and I've no doubt she's been through a shitstorm of crazy from Raniere and his acolytes, but I just couldn't get over the more mundane aspects of the cult.
October 26, 2019
Jaw dropping is exactly the right description of this book. It is shocking and terrible subject matter but Natalie handles it in such a deft way that you just see the issue for what it is and how she grew from it.
“Evildoers prosper when good men do nothing” I’m pretty sure I messed up the quote but Rainere was only able to do what he did because the people in his circle allowed it. Co-signed it and followed orders.
This is a must read as he is on the level of people like Jim Jones, Charles Manson and the like.
“Evildoers prosper when good men do nothing” I’m pretty sure I messed up the quote but Rainere was only able to do what he did because the people in his circle allowed it. Co-signed it and followed orders.
This is a must read as he is on the level of people like Jim Jones, Charles Manson and the like.
December 17, 2019
In reality, I feel like I'd give this 3 stars, but since I've already read lots of articles and listened to the podcast, I probably came to this book with too much knowledge already and it seemed repetitive. Though, I really did appreciate Natalie's openness and the stories she had to share about her own personal trauma. God, he's just so gross though. I guess that's why I keep reading books about cults and pyramid schemes...I simply do NOT understand the idolatry and worship of the people at the top.
October 6, 2023
I already knew small bits and pieces of this story going in to it but I had very little idea of the true extent of Raniere’s crimes. The things he did and made others do are just horrifying and reading about it made my skin crawl. It was especially hard hitting coming from someone who was so close to Raniere at one time, it provides a true insiders perspective into the inner workings of the cult Raniere built up from the ground up. It will never fail to fascinate me how such men can draw in and convince so many people of their schemes, it’s just utterly mind blowing to me!
August 24, 2023
This book comes across as a stream of consciousness, although there's a lot of good detail contained in it, too. I realize that Ms Natalie's point of view is limited mostly by what she experienced herself, but it feels like some of the second-hand information is gossipy and not confirmed? Still, I believe that Keith Raniere and NXIUM needed to be exposed.
October 31, 2022
The author ends up being an unreliable narrator. I am unsure that she ever really knew the real Keith Raniere, but rather just the version of himself he presented to her in order to manipulate her.
February 5, 2024
Couldn’t get through this one. I tried the audio and was a little surprised it’s read by the author and more of a memoir. Hard to get through the audio
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