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Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN

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One of the most beloved and trusted mindfulness teachers in America offers a lifeline for difficult times: the RAIN meditation, which awakens our courage and heart.

Tara Brach is an in-the-trenches teacher whose work counters today's ever-increasing onslaught of news, conflict, demands, and anxieties--stresses that leave us rushing around on auto-pilot and cut off from the presence and creativity that give our lives meaning.

In this heartfelt and deeply practical book, she offers an antidote: an easy-to-learn four-step meditation that quickly loosens the grip of difficult emotions and limiting beliefs. Each step in the meditation practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) is brought to life by memorable stories shared by Tara and her students as they deal with feelings of overwhelm, loss, and self-aversion, with painful relationships, and past trauma--and as they discover step-by-step the sources of love, forgiveness, compassion, and deep wisdom alive within all of us.

288 pages, Hardcover

First published December 1, 2019

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About the author

Tara Brach

35 books1,827 followers
Tara Brach is a leading western teacher of Buddhist meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening. She has practiced and taught meditation for over 40 years, with an emphasis on vipassana (mindfulness or insight) meditation. Tara is the senior teacher and founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. A clinical psychologist, Tara is the author of Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, True Refuge: Finding Peace & Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart and Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of R.A.I.N. (Viking, Dec. 31, 2019).

Tara is nationally known for her skill in weaving western psychological wisdom with a range of meditative practices. Her approach emphasizes compassion for oneself and others, mindful presence and the direct realization and embodiment of natural awareness.

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5 stars
2,472 (46%)
4 stars
1,875 (35%)
3 stars
789 (14%)
2 stars
178 (3%)
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40 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 459 reviews
Profile Image for Samantha.
455 reviews16.5k followers
November 28, 2021
The RAIN acronym is one of the best I have read about for mindful acceptance of feelings and emotions. I plan to use this myself to ground through discomfort as well as with clients.
Profile Image for Karen.
1,519 reviews76 followers
January 2, 2020
There's nothing like starting out my year with Tara Brach. I have been a longtime fan and her podcasts have carried me through several very tough years. Tara's ability to mix methodology, thinking, and storytelling is unparalleled. In her podcasts, she usually also tells some wonderful jokes that have stayed with me over the years. If you haven't listened to any of her work, I cannot recommend it enough. Her other books are also phenomenal.

This book is focused on compassion as the title states. Specifically in the practice of her version of RAIN:
- Recognize what is happening;
- Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;
- Investigate with interest and care;
- Nurture with self-compassion.

There is a lot more about Rain in her site if you're interested: https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/

The book explains the practice, gives examples and contains meditations that give you the space to do right then. I listened to it on audio which was perfect for practicing the meditations. A great way to start the new year and to hold my intention of more compassion.
Profile Image for Megan Bell.
217 reviews31 followers
March 21, 2020
This book has been helping me SO MUCH with easing my anxiety through this challenging time. Tara Brach is one of America's most beloved and trusted mindfulness teachers, and in this book she teaches us how to practice compassion for ourselves and others and how that practice can empower, center, and free us. Using the mindfulness practice of RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, & Nurture) has been a lifeline for me, helping me to stay in the present, care for myself and my team, and feel empowered to do what I can to respond with compassion and creativity to this unprecedented moment.
Profile Image for Stef.
1,121 reviews5 followers
July 12, 2020
DNF at Chapter 6. The book started to feel redundant in content, and halfway through, I still didn't feel like I had a great understanding of RAIN beyond "Recognize"; "Allow" never felt adequately explained, and "Investigate" and "Nurture" were glossed over but seemed to require so much more of the practitioner than the first two steps.
Profile Image for Ellie.
1,543 reviews409 followers
August 5, 2020
Tara Brach is amazing. She is a great teacher--and I'm not using the word "great" lightly. I use her guided meditations daily. Recently, she did a talk with Lama Rod Owens (Love and Rage) about racism and violence which was inspirational. She is a gift.

I actually finished this book a couple of weeks ago but I feel inadequate and not up to the task of giving a review that fully expressed how important this book is to me and how rich (and just plain helpful) I found it to be. I've been re-reading it ever since and have taken extensive notes which I also review. I use some of the suggestions daily.

The main teaching of this book is RAIN: a meditation in which the letters stand for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. And the RAIN is followed by "After the RAIN"--a few moments of resting in presence, experiencing the process you have just undergone. I've been using RAIN daily in addition to my usual practice to address specific issues. RAIN offers a way to deal with problematic relationships, addictive behaviors--anything which is causing you difficulty at the present moment. (In one of her talks about addictive behaviors, Brach talks about making the "U-turn" from the object obsessed about to yourself, a powerful shift in attention and very healing). RAIN offers the chance to sit with uncomfortable feelings, feel them in the body ("investigate" is not an intellectual exercise), support yourself and then just rest with all you have experience.

One of the practices I am finding very helpful is the "4 Remembrances". They are: 1) Pause for presence; 2) Say "yes" to what is; 3) Turn to love; and 4) Rest in Awareness. She gives suggestions for each of these practices--illustrating with helpful stories (as she does in all her talks--often using funny cartoons and anecdotes to make important points--her light touch helps me keep my own perspective on life and meditation in perspective as well as underscoring the importance of humor in life--how it can illuminate serious issues and make it easier to address them. I like how she gives a long description of each practice and then provides an insert for easy use.

Brach offers a number of different meditations. The ones that I have used were helpful.

I think the theme of the book, which I hate to "sum up" is that in offering oneself compassion, in having compassion for all life, we set ourselves--and the world--free. And that compassion, complete acceptance for things as they are in that moment is the only path to growth.
Profile Image for Taylor Vogel.
11 reviews
March 16, 2020
While the tools of RAIN offered in this book are actually extremely helpful, the formatting and story telling made it really hard for me to get through. I struggled to move from chapter to chapter, and the story telling just seemed distant. I feel like this would be a good book to have on hand to reference for meditation, even without ever reading a single personal experience of the author.
Profile Image for Morgan.
156 reviews6 followers
May 8, 2020
DNF at 60% - 3.5 - at this point I feel like the book just keeps repeating itself and that I'm not going to glean much more from it at this rate. RAIN is a good approach that I will incorporate into my mindfulness practice, however, especially when investigating difficult feelings. I think it's worth knowing about, so look up some of the articles or videos about RAIN online if you want to save time.
Profile Image for Whitney Kats.
93 reviews1 follower
February 19, 2020
My favorite concept from the book was imagining the High Self, or the Future/Awakened Self to guide and nurture the present or past self.

Other key takeaways I want to remember:

Mirror the goodness in others, remind them of the good you see in them. Practice RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture) not just on yourself, but use it to find compassion towards others as well.

When practicing RAIN, ask yourself: “What hurts the most?” “Where does it hurt the most in your body?” Allow it. Investigate it. Invite the High Self to nurture or offer guidance.

“Radical Compassion” is a book that needs to be on my bookshelf, not just on my hold list at the library.
Profile Image for Emily.
215 reviews5 followers
July 28, 2020
This is one of those books that maybe...didn't need to be a whole book. Possibly because I've already been practicing RAIN. Finding a guided RAIN meditation that resonates with me, and practicing it many, many times over a period of years, has been a very helpful resource. Although much of this book wasn't new to me, listening to Tara Brach is such a balm, and there is really no such thing as hearing these concepts too many times.
Profile Image for Rachelle.
295 reviews21 followers
July 18, 2023
I listened to the audiobook, but I own the book, so I was able to refer to it as I went for a few of the meditations. I took my time and hope I truly absorbed it. Tara Brach so eloquently explained ways I often feel (and I am sure so many of us do) and also gave an easy and practical tool (RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) to move forward with compassion for myself and others.

After finishing it, I also discovered her radical sel-compassion masterclass on Calm, which I am listening to now.

Thanks to friend Alicia for reading this first and reminding me I have been wanting to! A gift!
Profile Image for Jeanne.
1,134 reviews86 followers
May 8, 2022
I adored Radical Acceptance when I first read it umpteen years ago. I always enjoy Tara Brach's meditation podcasts. I don't find her descriptions of RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) in Radical Compassion as personally useful, but this is probably unfair.

RAIN can be a great help for people who are not psychologically-aware or -sophisticated. It can be a good resource to recommend to clients or people not in therapy; however, people who already spend time considering their internal life, people who are already habitually as gentle with themselves as they are with others – or as gentle with others as they are with themselves – may wish to look elsewhere. This is not a slap on RAIN or Brach, just a comment that NSAIDs are not appropriate for everyone, nor diets, nor a pet, even though each may be very helpful for many people.

I have "RAINed" much of my life without calling it that. I pay attention to my feelings and thoughts throughout the day. I've found this ongoing and continuing practice very helpful in handling stress, relating to others, understanding the world, and remaining productive under difficult conditions.

Although much of this book wasn't new for me, I do find listening to or reading Tara Brach useful, just not as useful as I would have found it 20 years ago. Nonetheless, one cannot hear these concepts too many times, as they are foreign ways of thinking for many of us.
Profile Image for Drew Canole.
2,438 reviews14 followers
January 12, 2023
Tara Brach is one of the popularizers of the technique known as RAIN. It's a meditation to be used while in the grip of emotions such as having a lot of anxiety or stress. I first heard of it in a course on breaking bad habits - when you're overwhelmed with the urge to indulge in a habit such as smoke, eat, or an external coping mechanism for anxiety (like scrolling through reddit /r/popular).

It's an acronym for Recognize (as in recognize you're having these feelings or urges). Allow (allow these feelings to exist, don't try to power through them or deny them), Investigate (gently investigate what it is you're feeling like physical sensation like tension or racing thoughts), and Nurture.

This last step I believe is unique to Brach. Where she uses a technique similar to Loving Kindness as the final step. I've heard the N as "non-identification" as in just allow the feelings and thoughts to exist and don't identify with them. Or as "Note" as in note the feelings, which I think is another form of non-identification.

I kind of prefer the Noting style. I feel a bit self-indulgent when I use Nurture. This could just indicate I need to do these practices more. To be honest, the thing I've been finding most useful is just doing some general meditation. Nothing specific, just spending 10 minutes once or twice a day to practice being aware of my thoughts. I've been using GamerGG's meditation guide as an aid. Perhaps more targeted to a younger (more predominately) male audience than this book.

https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG

One of the things these books don't really address is when the thing causing stress is something you actually need to do. These techniques would work well for say trauma, but something like (just an example) feeling overwhelmed with school work. Well, you actually do need to crack your knuckles and get down to work at some point.
Profile Image for Anya Owen.
11 reviews
January 12, 2021
Sorry to all the fans of Tara Brach, this just wasn't for me in more ways than one.

I got halfway through the book and realised I was reading the same thing over and over. I genuinely feel that RAIN could have been explained in a blog post or two - to force it into a whole book was a slog for the reader, and clearly just a way for Brach to capitalise on her practice.

I also think the neuroscience explanations are too simplistic. Much of the explanations are borrowed from other well-known trauma practitioners e.g. Dan Seigel, which makes me think that she has nothing new to bring to the table, and even the explanations she chooses to use are considerably dumbed down. I thought as a psychologist, Brach would have the capacity to explain complex terms to her audience, but it looks like she prefers to gloss over the science and any kind of complexity whatsoever.

On the other side of things, there were some concepts that Brach did not explain at all, assuming that the reader will know where she is coming from without her having to explain it. Er... that's not how this works. It came across waffley and painfully verbose.

I was looking for something radical, and this was not it. It was RAIN on every single page, every single chapter, which made me forget this this was supposed to be about 'compassion' to begin with. It felt more like a meditation than a learning experience, which was not what I was expecting.

Very disappointed.
Profile Image for Kate Kinne.
98 reviews1 follower
February 23, 2022
There were some helpful reflections throughout this book but I am just not a fan of books with the redundant “do this thing I created and I promise you’ll _____”. Just a personal preference on self-help books.
20 reviews
April 6, 2021
I really liked the RAIN acronym and the progression of recognize, allow, investigate and nurture. A lot of the book sounded like pop psychology to my ears, however. 2.5 stars
Profile Image for Omar Delawar.
134 reviews28 followers
May 12, 2021
This book has been surprisingly insightful even for someone who has been dabbling in eastern traditions for some time now. It includes some profound insights/quotes and stories, along with a comprehensible explanation of some fairly esoteric Buddhist principles.

Often Tara uses the stories and experiences of the people she has met and helped along her path to aid or illustrate a point, which makes it more enjoyable to read than a book in which the author is always speaking to the reader in the abstract. It really helps to humanize her ideas and bring them home. The narrative is very well done.

The book begins by characterizing the commonplace anxieties of modern life, including insecurities around being good enough and the search for satisfaction and purpose. She invites the reader to share her own journey and relate to her experiences. She gives an explanation of what 'Radical Acceptance' is and goes on in the subsequent chapter to share the stories of her friends & clients, using them to illustrate how her teachings have helped liberate them from their experiences.

One of the things Tara does remarkably well is incorporate wisdom, poetry, and stories from various spiritual sources, in a way that really melds into what she is trying to teach. It's clear that she has much more to offer than her personal wisdom, but also the wisdom of teachers past. My favorite quote from the book is from Zen poet Ryokan: “If you want to find the meaning of life, stop chasing after so many things”. This comes to mind regularly when I am wrapped up with things I have and don't have.

My favorite story in the book is from the Babemba people of South Africa who have a very interesting custom that we (the West) can learn a lot from. When an individual does something cruel or selfish, the community places them in the center of the village. Then, one by one, each member of the community speaks to them. Do they berate them for their mistakes or call out their faults? No. In this exercise, every person in the village lists all the times the accused has been kind, loving, or just. Rather than looking for the bad, they choose to remember the good. This is how the community heals. This makes our justice system here in the West of "Crime and Punishment" seem rather backwards.

What I like the most about this book is that it really stands apart to me as a Buddhist teaching text. I've embarked on Zen reading before, but this is the first one to actually inspire me to begin my own meditation practice. That said, I don't think one has to adopt the Buddhist philosophy to get something out of this book, but I guarantee that a read through it will impress upon the reader some of the wisest lessons it has to offer, which I find are much more humanistic than typical religious dogma, and can fit into any belief system. Highly recommended read!


Readability: Hard ----o Easy
Practicality: Low ---o- High
Insights: Few ---o- Many
Length: Long ---o- Short
Overall: Bad ---o- Amazing

1 review
Read
January 15, 2020
(Warning! This book discusses topics like anxiety, and depression.) Radical compassion is a specific type of general compassion, which includes the inner imperative to change reality in order to alleviate the pain of others. This state of mind, according to Lampert's theory, is universal and stands at the root of the historical cry for social change. This is the definition of radical compassion. While there are no main characters the author puts her personal experiences into the book, and she comes up with a meditation practice called-RAIN. With RAIN, people can learn to deal with feelings of anxiety, loss, and self-aversion, painful relationships, and past trauma and learning to discover sources of love, forgiveness, compassion, and deep wisdom that is in everyone. The conflict I faced when reading this book was learning how to meditate and forgive myself for past mistakes. I thought to myself, can I seek self-satisfaction through a book, and can the author influence me that much? After reading the book myself I learned how to forgive myself, just as the book intended. While I still have a long road to self-love and healing this book gave me the first steps. What I liked most about the book was that it was in-depth about teaching you how to meditate and learning to love yourself. The book gave examples of people going through battles of mental illness and showed what they did to better themselves. Some areas of the book that were strong were informing the readers on how to meditate and what meditation does to help better you as a person and your mind. The author also gave helpful information on what to do when you are battling depression and anxiety. What I learned from the book was how to forgive myself, and learning to stop holding on to old things. By not forgiving yourself you are allowing yourself to self-hate and lose your confidence. You also have to learn to let go of situations you have no control over and think about what to do at the moment. The book also teaches you how to accept love and help from others, because the truth is- you cannot do everything on your own. You will only grow as a person when you grow with others. The biggest appeal for me is that I am struggling to learn how to love and accept help from others. The summary of the book drew me in and I knew that in order to grow I needed to heal myself, from within. My favorite part of the book was the titles, each title was an opening to healing a chapter in life. Overall, this book was very helpful and I have learned a lot. I have learned how to meditate, which has helped me calm my anxiety. Although, I still have things I need to work on for myself I have learned through this book many things and have a vast knowledge of mental health. In conclusion, the book, "Radical Compassion" by Tara Brach, should be read by people who were struggling with the same problems I was.
Profile Image for Cat.
907 reviews162 followers
December 20, 2020
I find it difficult to review this kind of counseling book because when I'm trying to learn from it, I'm also not evaluating the book in the same way that I do my leisure reading. Sometimes I choose not to review books of this ilk that I read (like Pema Chödrön's When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, which I also read this year and found helpful, and Thich Nhat Hanh's "mindfulness essentials": How to Eat, How to Breathe, How to Walk, etc.). For me, these resources have been sustaining this year when I've been learning to live with worry and to breathe.

Brach's suggestions here are meditation-based, and I found her suggestions about self-talk and envisioning a safe, comforting person or scene from your life very helpful. The book gets a little bit repetitive, because it's trying to teach the acronym in the title (Recognize [a negative emotion or affect], Acknowledge [that feeling and its presence in your body], Investigate [the sources of that feeling], and Nurture [give yourself the same care and support that you would give a friend in the same circumstances]). These steps can be implemented in brief (before you get out of the car to face a stressful circumstance, while you are feeling harried by your to-do list, etc.) or in a more sustained meditation practice. Brach also writes about extending that deep empathy to your loved ones, trying to see their point of view and the roots of their pain, and then going further to practice tonglen, a meditation/breathing practice that connects your experiences of suffering to larger scale suffering in the rest of the world.

Brach writes compellingly about the harmful internalized narratives we all have about ourselves and breaking away from those stories to allow for a living, breathing presence in the moment, for caring about our minds and bodies and their plenitude rather than attaching to one version of their deficits. She also points out that these self-images come from the culture more broadly, not just from our individual experiences, and she specifically talks about the psychic harm of racism and ongoing stress/trauma, which made me think about Michelle C. Johnson's work: https://www.michellecjohnson.com/

I think I will implement and come back to these tools, and I look forward to listening to Brach's meditation podcast. I'm mainly giving it four stars rather than five stars because sometimes the "Mother of Creation" semi-spiritual stuff does not speak to me. But more of the book did resonate with me than did not, and I'm grateful for these strategies.
Profile Image for Mohammad Sadegh Rasooli.
531 reviews42 followers
November 24, 2021
https://delsharm.blog.ir/1400/09/03/rc

حرف کلی کتاب این است: هر وقت در حالت سخت روحی درگیر شدید (مثل عصبانیت، وادادگی، افسردگی و حالاتی شبیه به این) با چهار مرحله آن را برطرف کنید که مخففش می‌شود RAIN (باران). مرحلهٔ اول شناخت مشکل، مرحلهٔ دوم این که به احساساتتان اجازهٔ بروز بدهید، مرحلهٔ سوم آن که بررسی کنید چرا درگیر این احساس شده‌اید، و مرحلهٔ آخر پروراندن جوانب آن احساس و رهایی از احساس بد. کتاب ملهم از تفکرات و تعالیم بودایی است که سال‌هاست در فضای جامعهٔ آمریکایی طرفدار دارد.



اما این کتاب الکن است. حرفی برای گفتن ندارد. حتی آن چهار مرحله را نیز نمی‌تواند توضیح بدهد. پرحرف است و پرادعا (البته این‌ها نظرات شخصی من است و ممکن است این کتاب مناسب سلیقهٔ دیگران باشد). به یک‌چهارم نرسانده رهایش کردم.



پی‌نوشت: دورهٔ طولانی‌ای به کتاب مانند لقمهٔ نان نگه می‌کردم که اگر اضافه بیاید مصداق اسراف است. پس هر جور شده تا تهش می‌خواندم فارغ از آن که چیزی از آن بفهمم یا اصلاً به دردی بخورد. اما از آن غافل بودم که انسان نسبت به وقت خود تعهد بالاتری دارد.




Profile Image for Madi.
157 reviews36 followers
September 9, 2022
Nu mai citisem de mult cărți despre mindfulness și m-am bucurat să găsesc aici o abordare foarte ancorată în corp, în inteligența somatică, sau în 'trezirea conștiinței somatice' cum ii zice chiar autoarea.

Pe scurt, sunt patru pași prin care ne putem duce practica de meditație la nivelul următor:

R - recunoaștere - ce simt acum?
A - acceptare - cum pot spune 'DA' la ceea ce simt?
I - investigare - care e nevoia din spate?
N - 'nurture' sau hrănire - cum pot conține și alina ce simt?

Am fost surprinsă plăcut să identific elemente de acorare și resursare din Somatic Experiencing®, chiar dacă sub alte denumiri. Asta nu face decât să întărească importanța conectării la corp, indiferent de tipul practicii pe care o alegem.

Încă o dată am înțeles cum vindecarea are loc atunci când acceptăm, integrăm și hrănim TOATE părțile și emoțiile din noi. Mai ales acelea care nu ne plac.

A fost o lectură balsam pentru suflet și o recomand oricărei persoane care vrea să fie mai blândă cu ea însăși și să se reconecteze la trăirile corpului.
Profile Image for Chloe (Always Booked).
2,546 reviews131 followers
June 3, 2022
Well, heck. I had high hopes for this but it was way too focused on New Age-y stuff and Buddhism for me. The idea of RAIN made a lot of sense and was helpful to think through, but the narration, the examples, and the overall vibe of the book kind of annoyed me.
RAIN:
Recognize thoughts/feelings
Allow them to be what they are
Investigate their origin and if they're true
Nurture yourself
Profile Image for Kelly.
Author 6 books1,220 followers
Read
February 21, 2020
It was so great to hear Brach perform her own audiobook! Her voice is soothing and also empowering as she digs into what it means to live "above the line" -- not in trance -- and "below the line" -- where trance takes power away from you. The RAIN method of Reflect, Accept, Investigate, and Nurture is simple and straightforward and I cannot wait to implement it into my own routine for practicing kindness and compassion for myself (which, inevitably, is exactly how anyone can offer those things to others, too).
Profile Image for Bonnie.
89 reviews11 followers
February 10, 2020
什么是温柔: 就是我经历过那些痛,所以我小心翼翼,不想让你经历同样的的苦。每个人一生中都有自己的冬天要过,但当你发现你能给他人的冬天带来一点暖意的时候,自己的这个冬天也会因此变得不太冷。
Profile Image for Rebecca.
805 reviews84 followers
June 13, 2021
I was enjoying this fine through most of the book, and then found myself in the middle of an emotional breakdown and it became a life line.

Don't knock the mindfulness trends. These books become access to mental health relief when therapy isn't an option.




Profile Image for Ane Ringvold.
17 reviews
July 11, 2023
A serious good read! This book really thought me and pointed out some life changing truths that I highly was in need of hearing. So simple and easily written. Very “to the point”, which I loved. Easy to follow along, with nice meditation practices spread out at the end of each chapter:) Will definitely reread this soon!
Profile Image for Meg Lindsay.
113 reviews9 followers
October 24, 2021
I highlighted the hell out of this. The whole book is basically a toolbox of meditations and thought exercises that have already started helping me reframe my stress and worry. I kind of wish I had the audiobook as well because I it'd be helpful to have someone read the meditations aloud!
Profile Image for Laura.
41 reviews
February 8, 2020
I am on board with and appreciative of the premise and ideas put forth in "Radical Compassion." I found myself wanting the anecdotes and application of RAIN to have more nuance and complexity.
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