The Dark Lord Alice would be much happier if she’d gone mad. Unfortunately, as far as Alice can tell, she’s still a rational being—as rational as any Human, at any rate—but the damn World has clearly, unabashedly gone completely damn bonkers. It gets worse, of course. This would be alarming to even the most aloof of beings, even if they left her out of it. But the White Wizards are doing just the opposite. As experts in discovering reasons to be terrified—sorry, we meant, as experts in identifying sheer evil—they’ve decided Alice was one of the great enemies of Humankind. And now they're sending a doomed cavalcade of Chosen Ones to slaughter her. Something’s got to give. Alice doesn't know what it is, but even if she survives all of her plucky adolescent attackers, there’s not much any individual being can do, if everything else is swept up in a tidal wave of Madness. No Sorcerer, no ten Sorcerers, could survive the onslaught of a planet gone nuts. So Alice has to figure something out. While not getting killed. And despite being seen as a nemesis of Mankind. …which isn’t exactly untrue… And we enter the tale of the Dark Lord Alice. Things are about to get weird, dark, sorcerous, and very complicated, and all we have is a sense of humor, a strange plot, and unlikely assortment of oddly-recruited Chosen Ones... Now, Alice, with the aid of a handful of former Chosen Ones need to figure out what the Hell to do when all the other sentients on their planet seem determined to redecorate the planet entirely with cinders. As far as Alice can see, there’s only one thing they can Die. Horribly. The White Wizards are fighting hard to save Humankind by destroying it. This makes perfect sense, if you’re certain that Humans are so flawed and broken that there’s no way to save them. The good news is, The Dark Lord has a clever plan…… and the bad news is, that’s totally a lie. The Dark Lord has been a solitary creature all her life; but she knows that she doesn’t have an answer. So she’s decided to train some of her ex-murderers in the Arts of Magic, and hopefully, between the four of them, they’ll come up with something. Each of them was Prophesied to be the one who’d wipe out the Dark Lord. The Prophecy lied. And if Destiny doesn’t control their lives, then they do. They have the chance to save themselves, and maybe some of the World, as well. Granted, it seems a whole lot more likely that they’ll just be char-broiled when the mobs finally come to tear down the Dark Keep. But we’ll see. If Destiny’s not running the show, then anything could happen….
This is the third book by Jeff Mach that I’ve picked up in like the last month if that tells you anything at all about how much I enjoy his writing. This book did not disappoint. Like so many of his works, this is a book that is ostensibly fantasy but makes poignant and hilarious observations about the human condition along the way. It is irreverent and surprising in all of the best possible ways. It is unexpected and witty and just a lot of fun to pick up and read. There is a joy you can feel the author has in writing this that is contagious and makes you really love the book, the characters, the plot, the writing, and everything about the book.
There are wizards and sorcerers and humans and, of course, a Dark Lord, and craziness ensues. The tale is full of surprises and interesting turns that you don’t often see in most literature these days. The characters are lively and robust, the dialog flows and never feels stiff or like it is serving as a proxy for telling the story. It is fun to read and to discover more about this world as the book progresses. Speaking of which, the world building is top notch and really adds to the story and circumstances faced by the characters.
Overall, this was another really fun read from Jeff Mach. If you haven’t read his other works, I would recommend them as well. This is a great book to pick up even if you haven’t read his other stuff and serves as a great introduction to his totally unique style of storytelling.
What happens when the Not-So-Chosen One fails in their Not-Exactly-Prophesied Not-Really-Destiny of ending the existence of The Dark Lord - who, by the way, is sick to death of the steady stream of tween and teens with wizard-sanctioned murder on their minds - you ask? Sometimes, they die, sometimes they're let go, and sometimes they become The Dark Lord's apprentices. When everything in your life turns out to be a lie, sometimes grabbing hold of the truth in front of you is the only way to survive..
Jeff Mach created a thrilling dystopian book full of mystery, action and sci-fi. I really liked it! You keep connecting with all the characters which is not easy. It is very hard for an author to create empathy between the reader and the characters, but you can expect it in I HATE Your Prophecy (Dark Lords Live!). And have you seen this awesome cover? I recommend I HATE Your Prophecy as it is a great sci-fi book mixed with a little of political issues and mystery for you to think about psychological issues, exploitation and how sometimes we are pawns and we don’t even know it. Jeff made a wonderful job describing the many characters personalities and expressions. Alice is being haunted like an animal; the White Wizards sent the Chosen Ones after her. Is she truly mad or is she the result of many failed experiences during her life? To me this book is a must for this summer. You can expect a roller coaster of emotions and it is really short. Believe me when I tell you that it is addictive. You can expect so many funny moments that I had to take a break from reading. Be ready to find many creatures in this awesome new world.
I just couldn't read this. Its overwrought prose reminds me of teenage fan-fiction, the type where someone has just discovered how the English language can be abused to make sentences repetitive and overly complicated.
Usually if I give up on a book within the first 20 pages I don't bother to review it, but I made an exception here. The concept was OK, but execution read like modern Dickens, where the author gets paid by the word; it was exhausting and I couldn't be bothered. Overall reviews of this are much higher, but I'll be the outlier here.
Susane is a Chosen One who has been sent by the Council of White Wizards to defeat the Dark Lord Alice. She is unable to complete her mission and is taken prisoner by the Dark Lord who has many past Chosen Ones in cells guarded by Orcs. The readers get to understand Alice's motives as the story progresses. She believes that by testing these prisoners, one of them will shine and prove to be worthy of being her next apprentice. Alice sends enchanted seashells along with the meals that her captives receive. These seashells tell tales with lessons about magic and some subtle brainwashing. Another ex-Chosen One and prisoner named Hymnia appreciated the stories of the magic seashells. As I read this story, I was thinking, could this be its own genre called, Dark Fantasy with some humor and philosophy thrown in as well? As Hymnia listens to more tales from the seashells, she comes to the realization of the horror that the Dark Lord represents and she tries to commit suicide. Alice has pity on her and saves her life and in return gets Hymnia's eternal loyalty. Akane was another Chosen One who was supposed to kill Dark Lord Alice, but she was very curious and really wanted to meet Alice face to face. When they met, Alice saw promise in the young girl. It was not that she had amazing fighting skills, it was that she was an incredible actor with a big ego that could be useful. After some time, Alice chooses Hymnia, Akane and Susane as her pupils so that they can learn to create magic and unlearn all of the lies that the White Wizards had told them. With the assistance of the Nation of Werewolves, Alice and party prepare to battle against the White Wizards and their armies. Jeff Mach has written another gem that keeps the readers guessing. Who are the heroes and who are the villains? There is very nice poetry interspersed throughout the story and the history of Werewolves is very interesting. I am looking forward to the next book of the series.
I Hate Your Prophecy by Jeff Mach is a truly unique book. It isn't my usual genre but I thoroughly enjoyed it! The characters are well thought out and enjoyable with strong female leads. This threw me off a little at first but I really grew to enjoy them. I don't usually gravitate towards fantasy fiction but the characters make it much easier to become involved in the story. The fantasy side is actually pretty great too! I enjoyed the werewolves, wizards, and magic. The story itself was a little confusing to me at first but the author really has a way of pulling the reader into the story, bond with the characters, and maintain the attention of the reader. Alice is the Dark Lord and at first I figured that due to her name she was an evil type figure or a malevolent character but this isn't quiet the case. She seems fed up and frustrated by the insanity of the world. She has been focused on by the white wizards as needing to be taken out so the Chosen Ones are sent one by one to kill her. She finally starts to collect them instead of killing them so she can use the ones that show some sort of potential, to her advantage. She wants to see which ones just submit and which ones actually try to escape. Alice chooses her apprentices and challenges their views then leads them on an entirely different life path. I really enjoyed Jeff Mach's writing style, witty characters, and wonderfuly imaginative story. I'm really looking forward to exploring more of his writing. If you're not usually a fantasy fan but looking for something with a bit of magic, this is a great read to snuggle in with!
“I Hate Your Prophesy” is an absolute must-read. It is as much a satire and social commentary as it is a wonderfully woven tale. Author Jeff Mach is brilliant, hilarious, and insightful. The Dark Lord, Alice, and her sorcerous disciples are up against the White Wizards, and the only thing anyone knows for sure is that the world is messed up. There is so much to love about I Hate Your Prophesy; it satisfies on so many levels. The characters are enchanting in far more ways than in their magical sense; ‘captivating’ is an overused word but accurate in this case. Never has a Dark Lord been so likeable and relatable. The depth and individuality with which Mach has stitched Alice and each of her apprentices, Hymnia, Susane, and Akané, endows the reader with a near-paternal attachment. Even minor characters like the Bard, the Werewolf, the Elves, etc. feel present and pull you into the story. The narrator’s frequent observations, and snippets of philosophy, are at times so poignant and applicable to modern (human) life that I burst out laughing then found myself nodding at the wisdom behind the humour. To be clear, the commentary is a huge and welcomed part of what makes this book so satisfying; it adds to the worldbuilding and in no way detracts from the stand-alone adventure. The is a grand story that, on one hand, doesn’t take itself too seriously, but on the other serves up a plot and pantheon of characters that will put you under a spell. Jeff Mach’s imagination and unique style is sure to turn you into a fan.
"If she lost, she lost, and if she won, she lost, and only stupid people bet against themselves twice."
The is the story of Alice, the unchossen one who is trying to survive while being the prisoner of the dark wizard Akane’. The once-chosen Akane’ is flawed and extremely unstable. Alice understands this and knows the only way to survive is to kill Akane’. Alice understood one thing to her core there is no gain without the potential of loss “and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling snake oil, and probably from low quality snakes.” She also learns something valuable through trials and tribulations in the pages that follow. Your life should never be controlled by prophecy because who you believed to be a dark wizard may actually be the white witch.
This Bard’s tale is a complete sterotypical story. I was not surprised by the ending and was a little disappointed in it actually. It is enjoyable but to be honest I was hoping for twist and turns and this falls short. The writing was done very well and the author has great potential in the character. I was discouraged from the beginning with the style and view of the character because the transitions were weak. I did read it to the end and I did enjoy the story line. It will not be a second read for me but I did not felt I waisted my money or it was not worth the cost. Definitley a young adult style writing and story and can see anyone who enjoys that genre finding it some enjoyment in the tale.
Imagine being one of the most powerful forces in your realm, yet, no one cares for your well-being, even to go as far as wanting you dead and gone. When everyone has turned their backs on you, there is a moment of desperation to seek anyone who would be willing to join forces with you. Strength in numbers is what offers a higher success rate because there is a cause for action and a threat needing elimination.
In "I Hate Your Prophecy (Dark Lords Live!)," author Jeff Merch describes how the Dark Lord Alice's life truly consists of. Alice is doing her best to pick the right person who would stand with her because she's encountered fewer than genuine individuals who plotted assassination attempts on her life and she's over it. With her life on the line, she must not only save herself but find someone who could be more of an ally. There are a group of the Chosen Ones that have been assigned a mission to end her, but having the ability to form her protection group of sorcerers, grants her an advantage to stay alive. Learning about how successful the Dark Lord Alice would be if her plan works are something one should want to witness.
What I enjoyed most about this book is getting an insight from the narrator(s) of the story, which adds a layer of depth to the storyline. Since this story is part of a series, I look forward to reading the others soon. I highly recommend this book for individuals who are interested in a bit of dark humor, in an even darker setting, details surrounding magic, and the likes.
I can honestly say that I really enjoyed reading this book. This book was very interesting from the beginning to the end. I didn't want to even put the book down, until the very end. The Dark Lord Alice would be much happier if she’d gone mad. Unfortunately, as far as Alice can tell, she’s still a rational being—as rational as any Human, at any rate—but the damn World has clearly, unabashedly gone completely damn bonkers. Just by reading this particular part would definitely make you want to purchase and read this book, with no interruptions. I can say that I read this book on recommendation, and I am so happy that I did. I have alot of laughter throughout the book, it began for me in Chapter 2. This novel is a wild ride, a book that I could simply not out down. I read this book all the way through, because it was that good. The writing style was wonderful, complex, exciting, and strong. After reading the book, I felt like I was apart of the novel. I highly recommend this book to be read by a reader who enjoys books, with laughter, excitement, and suspense. I have never read a book in this genre of book reading, however, I must say this book was great from the beginning to the end. A strong woman is what I admired the most in this book. Great Job, giving this book 5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟Highly recommend. I’m so glad I purchased this book.
First of all and before I get into how much I loved this book, I absolutely LOVED the titles of the chapters, really awesome. Secondly, everything about this book was an adventure to me, I loved, loved, loved it. It was very Sci-Fi oriented, some of which I had to re-read due to my not understanding it. There is lots of mention about Witchcraft, Sorcery, and Spellcasting, I loved those parts of the book since I am Wiccan and the descriptions of those things are really awesome to me. There is a whole lot of wizardry and witch type of stuff, which I really love, there are not many books that I can find that hold interest for me regarding this. There was some stuff about werewolves, but that didn't interest me, I don't like or read books and stories with werewolves in, they, quite honestly, scare me. I found lots of the story, in places, very funny and found myself laughing out loud a lot. There was quite a bit of talk regarding killing this and that, I didn't really like that too much realized that it is part of the story-type plot and all. I liked the chapter called The parable of Sweet Tea, very cute and amusing. There's a little action in there along the way too, holds, in my opinion, readers interest. The book is very definitely enjoyable and captivating, It took me a while to get into the book properly but once I finally started I could not put the book down.
First, after completing my read of this book, 'I Hate Your Prophecy,' by Jeff Mach, I should congratulate the author for the exceptional work in putting down this story. The novel was very interesting and eye catching because it just kept me turning page by page eager and excited to read more and more. The Character, Dark Lord Alice, clearly had her roles defined and well played by her. Alice excites me with how strong she is to pull through the Dark world full of bad creatures: wizards,witches and werewolves. Many women in our current world have stood out strong in all fields proving that they can do better. Just like Alice, she tries to figure out something in order to survive the plucky attackers that thinks she is the enemy of Humankind and that she shouldn't live. The novel gets really hilarious when Alice only thinks of death as the only way through the dark and weird things that keeps following her. It was very funny indeed on how someone can think of death!! The author, Jeff Mach for sure wrote the exciting and hilarious book. The Hate in the prophecy in my thoughts is because it was lied one. No one knows who will really wipe out the Dark Lord. Destiny should tell. Getting myself to read this book was a great thing. In such hard times and reading a very exciting, exceptional and an interesting book was just awesome. Thanks to the author for the great work and a great book.
The take-away message of ‘I Hate Your Prophecy’ is something along the lines of: Dark Lords are just like everyone else, they just chose a slightly unusual career path. Even as a Dark Lord, Alice is pragmatic in both her goals and how she sets about achieving them, conscious of her limits, and even a little insecure.
Much of the book is somewhat stream of consciousness. It frequently heads off on tangents, sometimes two or three at the same time. Much of the narrative deals with what a particular character is thinking and what their motivations are. As a consequence, there’s not much actual ‘doing’ and limited dialogue, especially in the first half.
If you like your fantasy to be all about massive battles and perilous quests, this book might not be for you. However, if you like a read that makes you smile and provokes some thought, often in unison, then ‘I Hate Your Prophecy’ is definitely for you. And while many of the book’s observations are humorous, they’re no less true for it, whether in Alice’s world or our own.
I particularly liked the subtle reference to Good Omens, my all-time favourite book!
Needs some copy editing, especially with regards to formatting, which can feel extremely random. But when the only criticism you have of a book is to do with its formatting, you just know its a winner!
He has done it again! Jeff Mach has again produced an amazing creation based around The Dark Lord and the Chosen Ones! I Hate Your Prophecy by Jeff Mach follows the line of a hilarious Dark Lord, Alice. As usual there is a parade of “Chosen Ones” out to end her life, thus the work of the Dark Lord is so much harder that it should have to be. Who would have thought that so much thought had to be put into the army of a Dark Lord, and the treatment of her army?! Nevertheless, all of that thought and effort makes this story so much more interesting; an “evil” being who puts so much effort and thought into her own life as well as those lives around her simply cannot have a bad ending. What I love most about Alice is that she is no mindless killing machine, in fact she is quite the opposite and with this simple fact the journey that is taken when picking up this book is absolutely exhilarating! I recommend this amazing adventure of a story to anyone who loves a good adventure while also having a good laugh off of some very sarcastic humor. And if you love this book make sure you pick up Jeff Mach’s “There and Never Ever Back Again”, which is also an amazing 5 star book!
Books are Magic in themselves, again Jeff Mach has transcended the genre in an epic,that will turn all you know of the battle of Good vs Evil, The Light vs The Dark and the motivations that lay within their hearts. Fairytales, Trolls, Heroes Demons, White Wizards and Dark Lords are all real in the sense they are part of us, through the stories and tales that make up our lives.
Jeffs fourth book encompasses all of these ideas and dreams, and makes us look within ourselves as to what life means instead of being told and blindly following paths that lead not only to our destruction but also the world around us as well.
This book pulls all the themes from his previous works into a idea shattering whole, we can change our lives and our destiny or not, Choice is a dangerous thing and so can be our beliefs. There are so many quotable moments yet I will leave you with only one..a Test if you will?..
“Understanding that everything has a cost means understanding that everything has a value.”
Books are Magic in themselves,again Jeff Mach has transcended the genre in an epic,that will turn all you know of the battle of Good vs Evil, The Light vs The Dark and the motivations that lay within their hearts. Fairytales, Trolls, Heroes Demons, White Wizards and Dark Lords are all real in the sense they are part of us, through the stories and tales that make up our lives.
Jeffs fourth book encompasses all of these ideas and dreams, and makes us look within ourselves as to what life means instead of being told and blindly following paths that lead not only to our destruction but also the world around us as well.
This book pulls all the themes from his previous works into a idea shattering whole, we can change our lives and our destiny or not, Choice is a dangerous thing and so can be our beliefs. There are so many quotable moments yet I will leave you with only one..a Test if you will?..
“Understanding that everything has a cost means understanding that everything has a value.”
Epic adventure of friendship that will keep you guessing until the end.
This fantastical tale of good versus evil takes the genre up a notch with Mach’s unmatched writing style and deep introspection. Dark Lord Alive faces constant internal and external struggles, her strong intense will overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds. The life lessons and friendship along the way require the reader to exam their own life, finding parallels between the worlds. Wizard and witch fans must read!
So the prophecy said the Chosen One will slay the Dark Lord? Who makes up this bull....? Oh yeah. The White Wizards, who have their Agenda: keep the populous afraid and keep their power. Funniest book I’ve read in like, forever! Long hilarious asides, sardonic humor, frightening truth. Make that Truths with capital T. But a happy ending, at least in fantasy. Wish we could get a similar happy ending for real, instead of temporary breaks from real White wizards!
Not your typical fantasy novel! Thought-provoking!
A great, sometime satirical look at fantasy and the imagination of a skilled writer! I loved the dark twists and turns that kept me turning page after page to get to the end. I highly recommend!!!
A very unique style of writing that keep you reading and laughing. The author has a hilarious way of describing what is happening in the story. It takes a while to get used to, but if you love fantasy and witty novels, this one is for you!
Good writing, and good story telling enhanced by a lot of astute observations about the cliches common to the "Chosen One travels to vanquish the Dark Lord" genre (Here's looking at you. JRR)
I love how the story goes from being like teaching you these awesome things that all A satin messes with your mind and then it's like huh Happy go lucky
This sequel is even funnier than its predecessor, and just as Machiavellian. I was genuinely surprised and satisfied by the twist ending. I look forward to more of Mach's work!
This is one of the most interesting books I’ve read in a long time. A tale of fantasy, complete with dark lords, prophets, chosen ones, and warriors, could never feel so real as it did in this book. Mach’s word use and language is very different from what I am used to. The way he personifies things and his use of metaphors makes the story come alive, as if it were all truth. I found myself spellbound when reading some of the phrases; I sometimes believed that what I was reading was solid fact, but then realized that this is a fictional book. The writing style really tricks you into believing every word. I HATE Your Prophecy begins with a very strong sentence, in my opinion, “Many people get told the comforting half lie that we are the products of the choices we make.” I believe that this sentence can really sum up the book as a whole; each of the characters can relate to this phrase, the readers, everyone can relate to this phrase as well. An opening sentence that almost everyone can relate to and feel something with is a strong opening sentence that will get readers to continue on with the book. I loved the first chapter, Chosen, though I had a difficult time getting into the story from then on about twenty pages or so. It was quite confusing during those first few pages, but once the characters began to come into the story it made more sense. As well as those first pages, there are many parenthesized phrases throughout the book that stand alone and stand out. I don’t feel that they are necessary to the story, but that is my own opinion. After the first chapter, the story moves on to the perspective of one of the Chosen One warriors, Susanne, a Child of Prophecy. The book switches between characters often, which is something I quite admired about the book. You can get a sense of each of the characters' thoughts and opinions, even the “evil” characters, and you start to sympathize with all of them. Next, we enter the story of the opposing character, the Dark Lord Alice, the solitary sorceress, the nemesis of Mankind. She does not have the answer to the world’s problem. She needs to save the world from destruction caused by humankind, which she plans to do by destroying humankind. The Chosen are prophesied to kill Alice, it is her destiny. But she plans to train her ex-murders in the magical arts with the hope that at least one of them will have an idea on how to save the world. She is taking a great risk, attempting to change her fate and trusting the Chosen, the prophesied killers of the Dark Lord. Despite the few flaws I have already pointed out, I HATE Your Prophecy was a true work of art. A beautiful depiction of good and evil with a message that says, good can be evil and evil can be good. In this book good and evil work together in a magnificent alliance that changes the world. Maybe it’s purpose is to say that we should try it out in reality.
A continuation to "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN: A Dark Lord's Diary", where the answer to what actually happened to the Dark Lord and why you should root for her (the new one). A fun book to read, although I do love the previous one far more.
This one is more story/action, the previous one is an introspection by the Dark Lord on her life and motivations.