What do you think?
Rate this book
The Uncontrollable Child: Understand and Manage Your Child’s Disruptive Moods with Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills
Evidence-based skills, insight, and methods drawn from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help you gain a greater understanding of your child’s behavior, parent them with compassion and confidence, and restore peace to your home. Is your child extremely irritable most of the time? Do they have difficulty interpreting social cues? Are they impulsive and prone to outbursts or explosive rages? Parenting a child who has emotional dysregulation can be a bumpy ride. You’ve probably received advice—some of it unsolicited—from friends, teachers, and family members. But strategies and techniques that work for other kids are usually ineffective when it comes to your unique child, and can even lead to more stress for everyone in your family. The Uncontrollable Child is here to help. Written for parents of children with emotion dysregulation disorders, including disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD), The Uncontrollable Child is a lifeline. It contains a powerful set of skills based in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)—including mindfulness, validation, limit-setting, and behavior-shaping—to help you better understand your child and their behavior, and successfully find balance between acceptance and change, flexibility and consistency, and limits and love. As a parent, you want the very best for your child, but if you have a child with explosive emotions, you need extra help. Let this book guide you toward creating a nurturing, healthy, and loving environment in which your whole family can thrive.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
216 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2021
About the author
Matis Miller
2 books3 followersAs the founder, director, and supervisor of The Center for Cognitive & Behavioral Therapy of New Jersey, Matis Miller is a licensed clinical social worker and certified cognitive behavioral therapist with over 15 years of experience. His impressive educational and training background includes certification in CBT from the Academy of Cognitive Therapy and the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Matis has also been awarded certification from the DBT-Linehan Board of Certification in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.
His expertise and intensive training in CBT, DBT, and Schema Therapy compelled him to found the Center and select the finest therapists to complete his team. Matis specializes in several emotional and personality disorders, complex childhood trauma, and anxiety in teens and adults. He is a seasoned lecturer on CBT- and DBT-related topics, addressing parents, clients, and professionals, and is presently focused primarily on supervision, education, and consultations.
His expertise and intensive training in CBT, DBT, and Schema Therapy compelled him to found the Center and select the finest therapists to complete his team. Matis specializes in several emotional and personality disorders, complex childhood trauma, and anxiety in teens and adults. He is a seasoned lecturer on CBT- and DBT-related topics, addressing parents, clients, and professionals, and is presently focused primarily on supervision, education, and consultations.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
January 9, 2021
I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers.
The Uncontrollable Child is a fantastic resource for parents of a child they feel is unmanageable and Uncontrollable. This book is suitable for any parent, not just those of children that are Uncontrollable or with emotional dysregulation disordershould and helps parents understand and get to grips with behaviour and learn beneficial strategies to help them cope and support the child.
This book teaches parents and carers ways of acceptance towards their child's behaviour and outbursts as well as learning and implementing consistency, flexibility, change, limits and love.
This book supports parents and carers into finding more of a balance and consistent approach to dealing with behaviour and outbursts as well as guiding them into creating boundaries that are reachable and creating a safer and more loving and nurturing environment at home for all involved.
The Uncontrollable Child is a fantastic resource for parents of a child they feel is unmanageable and Uncontrollable. This book is suitable for any parent, not just those of children that are Uncontrollable or with emotional dysregulation disordershould and helps parents understand and get to grips with behaviour and learn beneficial strategies to help them cope and support the child.
This book teaches parents and carers ways of acceptance towards their child's behaviour and outbursts as well as learning and implementing consistency, flexibility, change, limits and love.
This book supports parents and carers into finding more of a balance and consistent approach to dealing with behaviour and outbursts as well as guiding them into creating boundaries that are reachable and creating a safer and more loving and nurturing environment at home for all involved.
January 19, 2021
I’m so happy I came across this book. I have a 4 year old, who has been challenging, and I thought this gave some great tips for dealing with a difficult child. The information was presented clearly and the book was easy to follow. I did think at times it was geared to an older child (like 7+) versus the toddler/preschooler age but it was still a good read.
*Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
*Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinions.
February 13, 2021
—
I received an Advance Review Copy of #TheUncontrollableChild from #NewHarbinger via #NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
I received an Advance Review Copy of #TheUncontrollableChild from #NewHarbinger via #NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
June 19, 2021
I think I know what dialectical behavioral therapy is after reading this book. It’s holding contradictory ideas and finding common ground through dialogue and discussion. Like, I can think that my 12 year old shouldn’t need a chart to tell him how to start his day, but that should is only putting pressure on me and I am putting pressure on him and the s still isn’t getting done. So now we have morning contacts and both boys do all their things with little or no prompts and everyone is happier. I know that I’m giving a negative consequence when I take my son’s phone away when he violates the rules of our house. Those are my big takeaways— other people are raising kids like mine, and I can hold two things can be true at once, and behavior contracts can work, and so can negative consequences. I’d recommend this to any parent who is raising a child with ADHD or a mood disorder. It will make you feel less alone.
April 12, 2021
As a mental health care provider, I find this book to be a necessary tool in the toolbox of every parent. Miller explains and validates the emotions and reactions parents often have with a dysregulated child. He then shows us how to effectively engage in the process of parenting with easy to read and understand dialogue. Examples and practical guidelines are offered every step of the way to help parents implement the techniques of DBT. This is a fantastic resource for anyone - particularly parents and behavioral health professionals. It is also a reminder that we have the ability to handle our developing child, we just need a little guidance.
June 19, 2022
This highly structured and well thought out book is written in a very kind, caring and warm tone. It’s chock full of clearly written strategies that include plenty of relatable examples, and there is a great selection of exercises to choose from. The inclusion of sample transcripts, and sections on positive reinforcement and limit setting are especially helpful. I highly recommend this book!
March 20, 2024
As a parent with cluster B diagnosis, and two daughters that have diagnoses in this book, this will be a book I reference over and over and over. For parenting myself and for my girls, as well. Thankful for the layout of the book, the radical acceptance of the reader, and the practical advise about mindful and correcting our own behaviors as parents.
July 6, 2022
It’s unfortunate that the title kind of pigeon holes the book into a category for parenting kids with more extreme behaviours, because it could be incredibly useful for all parents. Probably the best book about discipline and dealing with any sort of undesirable behaviour that I’ve read thus far.
July 10, 2022
Excellent parenting book
A book is written in a simple and friendly language. Explanations of interventions are excellent. Multiple great techniques to manage child’s unacceptable behaviors. Highly recommend.
A book is written in a simple and friendly language. Explanations of interventions are excellent. Multiple great techniques to manage child’s unacceptable behaviors. Highly recommend.
July 26, 2023
Matis does an amazing job in bridging the gap between science and application in this book! It's practicality and simplicity in applying DBT methods towards children make this book a "must have" for any parent looking for tips on how to help their uncontrollable child!
October 19, 2021
3.5 stars
November 27, 2022
Hard but good
December 8, 2022
Definitely helped me understand my two autistic children and how to handle them on the different sides of the spectrum
December 11, 2022
This book is helpful to all parents, not just parents of children who have issues with regulation. I have already recommended it to parents in my practice and to colleagues.
August 15, 2023
Great book with lots of ideas and examples. Probably the best parenting book I have read.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews