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The Ghosts That Haunt Me: Memories of a Homicide Detective
After years working in homicide, retired Toronto detective Steve Ryan reflects on six cases he will never forget.
Retired detective Steve Ryan worked in Toronto’s homicide squad for over a decade. For Ryan, the stories of Toronto’s most infamous crimes were more than just a headline read over morning coffee ― they were his everyday life.
After investigating over one hundred homicides, Ryan can never forget the tragedies and the victims, even after his retirement from the police force. In The Ghosts That Haunt Me , he reflects on six of the many cases that greatly impacted him ― seven people whose lives were senselessly taken ― and that he still thinks about nearly every day. While the stories are hard to tell for Ryan, they were harder to live through. Yet somewhere between the crimes and the heartache is a glimmer of hope that good eventually does prevail and that healing can come after grief.
Retired detective Steve Ryan worked in Toronto’s homicide squad for over a decade. For Ryan, the stories of Toronto’s most infamous crimes were more than just a headline read over morning coffee ― they were his everyday life.
After investigating over one hundred homicides, Ryan can never forget the tragedies and the victims, even after his retirement from the police force. In The Ghosts That Haunt Me , he reflects on six of the many cases that greatly impacted him ― seven people whose lives were senselessly taken ― and that he still thinks about nearly every day. While the stories are hard to tell for Ryan, they were harder to live through. Yet somewhere between the crimes and the heartache is a glimmer of hope that good eventually does prevail and that healing can come after grief.
232 pages, Paperback
First published September 13, 2022
About the author
Steve Ryan
105 books6 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 185 reviews
November 5, 2023
For some strange reason I haven’t read a lot of true crime literature. Ironic when I devour fiction, so I should read more of the ‘real thing’. No matter, I’m so glad I found this book, because it was excellent. There was no dry retelling of crimes, but a very vivid and heartfelt description of tragic events. The author, who worked as a detective, was so empathetic when recounting murders that left it’s mark on him (and haunted him, as the title implies) that I felt a lump in my throat myself. It was harder to keep a distance that I usually manage, especially for the case where a little kid was killed. It isn’t an easy read, but it is an important one, I’m so glad there are detectives like the author working tirelessly to bring families justice.
June 4, 2022
Steve Ryan, a veteran of the Toronto homicide squad, tells the tales of six murder investigations among the many that have stuck with him from his time on the force.
I enjoy true crime, and morbid as it is, I really enjoy true crime memoirs – there’s something very visceral about it, when the writer can bring their firsthand viewpoint to the table. And Steve Ryan does it well, with a sympathy and care toward the victims and their families that is badly missed in a lot of true crime.
In the book, Ryan recounts how he came to join the police force, then takes the reader through six cases that spanned his career. Each tale was succinct and well-told, threaded through with just the right amount of personal introspection without detracting from the main subject. I felt the stories were sensitively told and liked learning about how the cases, some seemingly without leads, were tackled.
I did wish sometimes that we saw the personal investigation of Ryan more in the stories – it’s more prominent in the latter cases, but in the first few he plays more of a background role which takes away a little from the immediacy. However, he really hits his stride as the book goes on.
Overall, I really enjoyed this read and will look out for more by this author. Be warned, though, that this is quite intense reading.
Disclaimer: I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley. This is my honest and voluntary review.
I enjoy true crime, and morbid as it is, I really enjoy true crime memoirs – there’s something very visceral about it, when the writer can bring their firsthand viewpoint to the table. And Steve Ryan does it well, with a sympathy and care toward the victims and their families that is badly missed in a lot of true crime.
In the book, Ryan recounts how he came to join the police force, then takes the reader through six cases that spanned his career. Each tale was succinct and well-told, threaded through with just the right amount of personal introspection without detracting from the main subject. I felt the stories were sensitively told and liked learning about how the cases, some seemingly without leads, were tackled.
I did wish sometimes that we saw the personal investigation of Ryan more in the stories – it’s more prominent in the latter cases, but in the first few he plays more of a background role which takes away a little from the immediacy. However, he really hits his stride as the book goes on.
Overall, I really enjoyed this read and will look out for more by this author. Be warned, though, that this is quite intense reading.
Disclaimer: I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley. This is my honest and voluntary review.
October 11, 2022
Steve Ryan's The Ghosts That Haunt Me: Memories of a Homicide Detective, is a collection of true crime cases he witnessed as a detective. My five star review is not me "taking pleasure" in the crimes or the graphic nature of the stories, but rather that the book is well-written and honest. Truthfully, I thought I was a seasoned crime reader, but I cried throughout the book.
Synopsis:
Steve Ryan worked for over ten years as a homicide detective in Toronto, Canada. As Steve fought to bring justice, he remembers these six cases as the ghosts that still haunt him. These events detail the senseless loss of life and the unfathomable criminals that committed the crimes.
Steve Ryan and detectives' like him, encounter real and heartbreaking journeys that often involve children. Steve believes that hope and healing can still be achieved after evil. Before reading this book, I never realized how much gratitude we owe the men and women who work to bring closure to families of violent crimes.
The Ghosts That Haunt Me: Memories of a Homicide Detective by Steve Ryan is available on October 11th.
Steve Ryan, I salute you. This book had a profound impact on my life.
(5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)
Warning: Graphic violence involving children.
Thank you, NetGalley and Dundurn Press, for allowing me to review this eye-opening book. Your kindness is appreciated.
Synopsis:
Steve Ryan worked for over ten years as a homicide detective in Toronto, Canada. As Steve fought to bring justice, he remembers these six cases as the ghosts that still haunt him. These events detail the senseless loss of life and the unfathomable criminals that committed the crimes.
Steve Ryan and detectives' like him, encounter real and heartbreaking journeys that often involve children. Steve believes that hope and healing can still be achieved after evil. Before reading this book, I never realized how much gratitude we owe the men and women who work to bring closure to families of violent crimes.
The Ghosts That Haunt Me: Memories of a Homicide Detective by Steve Ryan is available on October 11th.
Steve Ryan, I salute you. This book had a profound impact on my life.
(5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)
Warning: Graphic violence involving children.
Thank you, NetGalley and Dundurn Press, for allowing me to review this eye-opening book. Your kindness is appreciated.
October 18, 2022
Steve Ryan worked for more than thirty years as a police officer (and detective) for the Toronto Police Service (although now he is a crime reporter for a local news outlet). “The Ghosts That Haunt Me” is a real-life tale of six terrifying crimes he investigated while working as a detective for the Homicide division that made him lose sleep at night, and to be honest, these stories will live on in my nightmares as well.
As a Canadian, and a highway’s drive away from Toronto, I recognized the names and cases mentioned in Ryan’s book, which makes it all the more intense and horrible. Young Holly Jones, who had just started walking places on her own, who was abducted and murdered while out on one such walk; Stefanie Rengel, a teenager who was killed by two of her peers during the New Year’s holiday; and, more recently, the domestic murder of Dr. Elana Fric-Shamji, who was killed by her husband; these are all the stories that made headlines in my neck of the woods, and Ryan’s behind-the-scenes look into each of these cases is informative, powerful and disturbing.
Ryan sets the scenes well, describing the idyllic communities that had previously been untouched by violence, and focuses his work primarily on the surviving families, paying them the utmost respect. Although, obviously, Ryan talks about the perpetrators and why they did what they did (as best as anyone can), it is obvious he cares a great deal for the families left behind, and that always earns top respect in my books.
Each case receives its own chapter, and Ryan’s humanity is on full display on every page. He details his struggles with evidence (or lack thereof), witness statements (or lack thereof) and even political red tape (if any), which brings out the realism in each horrible story and connects the reader to Ryan as a human being first, and a cop second.
“The Ghosts That Haunt Me” is a fantastic memoir that struck a John E. Douglas tune with me (that is a huge compliment) and I am going to be quick to recommend this one to any true crimes fans, especially those in my neck of the woods!
As a Canadian, and a highway’s drive away from Toronto, I recognized the names and cases mentioned in Ryan’s book, which makes it all the more intense and horrible. Young Holly Jones, who had just started walking places on her own, who was abducted and murdered while out on one such walk; Stefanie Rengel, a teenager who was killed by two of her peers during the New Year’s holiday; and, more recently, the domestic murder of Dr. Elana Fric-Shamji, who was killed by her husband; these are all the stories that made headlines in my neck of the woods, and Ryan’s behind-the-scenes look into each of these cases is informative, powerful and disturbing.
Ryan sets the scenes well, describing the idyllic communities that had previously been untouched by violence, and focuses his work primarily on the surviving families, paying them the utmost respect. Although, obviously, Ryan talks about the perpetrators and why they did what they did (as best as anyone can), it is obvious he cares a great deal for the families left behind, and that always earns top respect in my books.
Each case receives its own chapter, and Ryan’s humanity is on full display on every page. He details his struggles with evidence (or lack thereof), witness statements (or lack thereof) and even political red tape (if any), which brings out the realism in each horrible story and connects the reader to Ryan as a human being first, and a cop second.
“The Ghosts That Haunt Me” is a fantastic memoir that struck a John E. Douglas tune with me (that is a huge compliment) and I am going to be quick to recommend this one to any true crimes fans, especially those in my neck of the woods!
August 15, 2022
After reading this excellent memoir by retired homicide detective Steve Ryan, it is plain to see why these particular cases haunt him. All six are sad examples of promising lives cut off way too soon. From severe child abuse, spousal abuse and a baffling murder-suicide among others, each case gives a look into a profession in a way that exposes the trauma that a caring individual faces; it is obvious that each death took a part of his soul.
I read a lot of murder mysteries because I like the genre but after reading about Ryan's life I know I will view these fictional detectives differently. The reality of the life of a true homicide detective in a larger metropolitan area is something that fiction cannot touch. Yes, these cases were disturbing but the way Ryan describes them brings to life, once more, individuals whose lives, however brief, should not be forgotten.
The writing is descriptive and the cases haunting. This is an engrossing true-crime read that is evocative and heart breaking. It is also an interesting read as it gives insights into the process of solving murders and what is necessary to bring the killer to justice., I highly recommend this book.
Thank you NetGalley and Dundurn Press for an advance copy of this book for review.
I read a lot of murder mysteries because I like the genre but after reading about Ryan's life I know I will view these fictional detectives differently. The reality of the life of a true homicide detective in a larger metropolitan area is something that fiction cannot touch. Yes, these cases were disturbing but the way Ryan describes them brings to life, once more, individuals whose lives, however brief, should not be forgotten.
The writing is descriptive and the cases haunting. This is an engrossing true-crime read that is evocative and heart breaking. It is also an interesting read as it gives insights into the process of solving murders and what is necessary to bring the killer to justice., I highly recommend this book.
Thank you NetGalley and Dundurn Press for an advance copy of this book for review.
July 24, 2022
Many thanks to Dundurn Publishing, as well to NetGalley, for the opportunity to read and review an early copy of The Ghosts That Haunt Me.
Man's inhumanity to man, and especially to children.
What an amazing job the author did writing this book. It's so compelling and well written! The Ghosts That Haunt Me touches on how Mr. Ryan came to join the police force, becoming first a police officer, then a homicide detective, and also working in cold cases. These are six of the cases the author has been unable to forget. There were times I wondered how my shattered heart was going to let me sleep again so I can't imagine how Mr. Ryan dealt with it on a daily basis. He wrote with so much compassion and empathy. This book is not for the faint of heart - especially in cases involving children.
Mr. Ryan, you have my utmost respect and my neverending gratitude.
Man's inhumanity to man, and especially to children.
What an amazing job the author did writing this book. It's so compelling and well written! The Ghosts That Haunt Me touches on how Mr. Ryan came to join the police force, becoming first a police officer, then a homicide detective, and also working in cold cases. These are six of the cases the author has been unable to forget. There were times I wondered how my shattered heart was going to let me sleep again so I can't imagine how Mr. Ryan dealt with it on a daily basis. He wrote with so much compassion and empathy. This book is not for the faint of heart - especially in cases involving children.
Mr. Ryan, you have my utmost respect and my neverending gratitude.
January 23, 2024
4,0 ✨✨✨
( Audiobook)
( Audiobook)
June 4, 2022
Compulsively readable, I binge read this. If you lived in Toronto during the early 2000s up to 2016, you’ll probably recognize most, if not all of these cases. Such a unique take on a true crime book, where Steve Ryan puts a lot of focus on how a crime can have such an affect on so many people, and how these crimes he talks about still impact him to this day.
September 7, 2022
This was a very interesting account of some real cases that an actual homicide detective had to work on. To be honest, I didn't expect the cases to be as gruesome as they were - but I loved it!
I expected this to be a small-town vibe book about a detective and a few cases he had to endure. But instead, I got 6 cases that were worthy of your favorite detective shows like Law & Order, Criminal Minds, and CSI. Sometimes I felt like I was reading a work of fiction but then got drawn back to reality with the harsh facts of these cases. I ended up even Googling a few to see more about them.
The writing was well done, a little wordy at times and it lost me with some of the extensive histories of some of the cases. Overall, I really enjoyed reading about these cases and how they affected the detective. I definitely recommend this for a lover of true crime! I had not heard of any of these cases prior and they were more interesting than I imagined originally.
Big thanks to Steve Ryan, Dundurn Press, and NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.
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I expected this to be a small-town vibe book about a detective and a few cases he had to endure. But instead, I got 6 cases that were worthy of your favorite detective shows like Law & Order, Criminal Minds, and CSI. Sometimes I felt like I was reading a work of fiction but then got drawn back to reality with the harsh facts of these cases. I ended up even Googling a few to see more about them.
The writing was well done, a little wordy at times and it lost me with some of the extensive histories of some of the cases. Overall, I really enjoyed reading about these cases and how they affected the detective. I definitely recommend this for a lover of true crime! I had not heard of any of these cases prior and they were more interesting than I imagined originally.
Big thanks to Steve Ryan, Dundurn Press, and NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.
----------
For more book reviews, check out my Instagram:
www.instagram.com/spellboundbooks_
Want a fun book surprise? Check out my Etsy for Blind Date with a Book, Bookish Apparel, Accessories and more!
www.etsy.com/shop/spellboundbooksshop
June 7, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a fascinating book. The realness of the 6 homicides the author writes about is absolutely frightening and horrifying. I'm sure there are many more homicide investigations that he could've written about and choosing 6 was probably a difficult task. I can really understand how his job haunts him. He is a very caring man and sounds like he did an amazing job while he worked as a policeman and detective.
This is a fascinating book. The realness of the 6 homicides the author writes about is absolutely frightening and horrifying. I'm sure there are many more homicide investigations that he could've written about and choosing 6 was probably a difficult task. I can really understand how his job haunts him. He is a very caring man and sounds like he did an amazing job while he worked as a policeman and detective.
July 21, 2022
This is an interestingly written memoir by retired Toronto homicide detective Steve Ryan. As a young boy he wanted to help people when he grew up. He remembered it later at a career day near the end of high school. It made him decide on a career in police work. He realized after working in law enforcement that they often didn’t get to help, since they many times arrived after whatever incident was over. In this book he shares about his work, how it affected him, and a handful of his cases after years on the job.
Shelved as 'dnf'
October 26, 2022DNF @ 22%
I enjoy true crime and I'm especially fond of true crime told in a respectful way, so when I started this memoir, it felt like a perfect fit for me, as it's evident from the very first page that these cases mean a great deal to Steve Ryan and he carries these lost souls with him every day of his life. Unfortunately, the narrative style didn't work out for me and I ended up deciding not to finish this as I'm thinking The Ghosts That Haunt Me just isn't the right fit for this reader, but I highly recommend that other true crime lovers give it a try, especially if you're interested in hearing about the process from a detective's perspective.
Thank you to the publisher for the review copy! All thoughts are honest and my own.
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I enjoy true crime and I'm especially fond of true crime told in a respectful way, so when I started this memoir, it felt like a perfect fit for me, as it's evident from the very first page that these cases mean a great deal to Steve Ryan and he carries these lost souls with him every day of his life. Unfortunately, the narrative style didn't work out for me and I ended up deciding not to finish this as I'm thinking The Ghosts That Haunt Me just isn't the right fit for this reader, but I highly recommend that other true crime lovers give it a try, especially if you're interested in hearing about the process from a detective's perspective.
Thank you to the publisher for the review copy! All thoughts are honest and my own.
———
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August 27, 2023
“It’s funny, or maybe sad, that I sometimes think I see them. I catch glimpses of faces of people I never met while they were living — someone smiling in a crowd downtown, a figure my mind makes up in the shadows. For a second, I think it could be one of them — the people I’ve gotten to know so well, like bumping into an old friend after years apart. But then I remember it can’t be. They’re gone. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me, ensuring I never forget. That’s the thing about working in homicide — it haunts you well after the case has had its day in court”
I don’t know how to leave a review for this one but I’ll try my best here. Calling this a good book or an entertaining book would be asinine. It’s dark and disturbing and shines a light on some of the ugliest kinds of people that walk in our world and was, at times, difficult to read. These stories will be with me for a long time.
As for the writing, I found it simple and palatable — I mean that in the best way possible. You could feel the grief of the victims’ families as well as the grief from Ryan himself. Often with true crime memoirs, we see the POV of the victim so I found it interesting to read a book like this where we see the POV of a detective.
I don’t know how to leave a review for this one but I’ll try my best here. Calling this a good book or an entertaining book would be asinine. It’s dark and disturbing and shines a light on some of the ugliest kinds of people that walk in our world and was, at times, difficult to read. These stories will be with me for a long time.
As for the writing, I found it simple and palatable — I mean that in the best way possible. You could feel the grief of the victims’ families as well as the grief from Ryan himself. Often with true crime memoirs, we see the POV of the victim so I found it interesting to read a book like this where we see the POV of a detective.
February 9, 2023
I am so angry about this book I don't know that I am going to be able to write clearly. There are 6 cases in this book and EVERY one of them is about the murder of a woman (one case also includes 2 male victims, but was still centred around the female victim; it was a "jealous lover" situation). 4 of the cases were about girls under 18 years old. It took the author until page 160 to name a single female expert (police, crown attorney, medical professional, paramedic, etc.) by name, however he had no problem listing every male police partner, medical professional, etc that entered the story. The inclusion of a author's note just acknowledging literally anything (violence against women and girls, permission of names used, why these cases stuck with him...did he notice that they were all women and half were children?) would have helped BIG TIME.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 2, 2023
This was a true Canadian crime read. Not my niche of reads but I gave it a go. A retired detective from Toronto remembering cases he worked on throughout his career. Interesting.
August 19, 2022
I loved this one! I connected to this book in two ways: 1. as someone with a MSc in Forensic Science I connected with the forensic science aspects (of course there were some inaccuracies throughout the book but the author is a detective not a scientist so it’s understandable) and 2. as an RCMP employee it was really cool to see any mention of it. This book would’ve been good no matter where the author was from, but the fact that he is from Canada made this even more interesting for me due to being able to recognize a lot of the references. This is a really good non-fiction book that at times reads as a fiction book. I highly recommend this to fans of true crime and memoirs.
A special thanks to NetGalley, Dundurn Press and Steve Ryan for this ARC ebook in exchange for an honest review. The Ghosts That Haunt Me will be published October 11, 2022.
A special thanks to NetGalley, Dundurn Press and Steve Ryan for this ARC ebook in exchange for an honest review. The Ghosts That Haunt Me will be published October 11, 2022.
June 6, 2022
he Ghosts that Haunt Me is a fast read that you don't want to end. As I sit here trying to find the right words, I'm thinking along the lines of a decadent dessert. Remember Beauty and the Beast where Lumiere says "Try the gray stuff, it's delicious!"? That's where I'm going with this. When I stared at my to-be-read pile, I was a little overwhelmed. I figured I'd start at the top to make things easier even if I didn't feel like I was in the mood to read this type of book. Or rather, what I assumed this book was going to be about.
I'll admit, I am not thrilled with the foreward and the intro before the Author dives into his childhood. The foreward felt like a poor attempt to heighten the Author's credibility. I may have read three times by the start of the book that he left homicide and now works a TV gig. The "voice" was a turn-off. Then, once we fall back in time to his childhood and the motivation for why he became a cop is revealed, it all changes. This turned out to be an inspired and motivating read.
I sit on the fence about my feelings in regards to officers. I went to prison for a crime I didn't commit with my arresting officer admitting he lied about things he claimed he saw on his report. He actually admitted that - on the stand, next to the judge. I had a long, ridiculous trial. The cop faced no penalties after he came clean. I'm still bitter. Obviously.
I also got to know cops when I became a witness for a murder trial. These were a different breed. More professional. More serious. More aware. As I read this book, and you get into the head of how the Author feels about each case and it affects him, I constantly thought back to these homicide detectives. I wondered what ghosts they carried with them. I understood.
This never reads like you were handed a script for any of the police procedural shows on TV. I've never been interested in those shows and honestly, I don't get the fascination. Instead, while we are given summaries of each case I feel that every spoken word could honestly be audited from testimony and interviews. There is no feeling that anything was made up to give stories some buoyancy. None was needed. These are very poorly constructed sentences so I apologize if I am incoherent here.
The sadness and the grief are what carry each chapter. There is a job to do and he does it, but he's never fully alright. Remember in Rescue Me, at least at the start of the series, where Denis Leary is repeatedly haunted by all the victims of fires he was not able to save? It's that emotion. Beyond the interesting cases which got to me more than not, it is his view on sadness that tore into me. Not even going to lie here, I started crying within the last ten pages because his words made me think back to the people I have lost.
So there's that.
I'll admit, I am not thrilled with the foreward and the intro before the Author dives into his childhood. The foreward felt like a poor attempt to heighten the Author's credibility. I may have read three times by the start of the book that he left homicide and now works a TV gig. The "voice" was a turn-off. Then, once we fall back in time to his childhood and the motivation for why he became a cop is revealed, it all changes. This turned out to be an inspired and motivating read.
I sit on the fence about my feelings in regards to officers. I went to prison for a crime I didn't commit with my arresting officer admitting he lied about things he claimed he saw on his report. He actually admitted that - on the stand, next to the judge. I had a long, ridiculous trial. The cop faced no penalties after he came clean. I'm still bitter. Obviously.
I also got to know cops when I became a witness for a murder trial. These were a different breed. More professional. More serious. More aware. As I read this book, and you get into the head of how the Author feels about each case and it affects him, I constantly thought back to these homicide detectives. I wondered what ghosts they carried with them. I understood.
This never reads like you were handed a script for any of the police procedural shows on TV. I've never been interested in those shows and honestly, I don't get the fascination. Instead, while we are given summaries of each case I feel that every spoken word could honestly be audited from testimony and interviews. There is no feeling that anything was made up to give stories some buoyancy. None was needed. These are very poorly constructed sentences so I apologize if I am incoherent here.
The sadness and the grief are what carry each chapter. There is a job to do and he does it, but he's never fully alright. Remember in Rescue Me, at least at the start of the series, where Denis Leary is repeatedly haunted by all the victims of fires he was not able to save? It's that emotion. Beyond the interesting cases which got to me more than not, it is his view on sadness that tore into me. Not even going to lie here, I started crying within the last ten pages because his words made me think back to the people I have lost.
So there's that.
June 8, 2022
Steve Ryan’s The Ghosts that Haunt Me was one of my favorite books of the year. It was an absolute page turner, and I could not put it down. While mainstream media, podcasts, and documentaries are interesting, Ryan has a unique perspective as a retired homicide detective. As a reader, we get to see the background work, emotional trauma, and life-altering experiences that come along with fighting for justice.
I particularly enjoyed the structure of the book – separated by case. Ryan outlines six cases that impacted him the most throughout his career. While learning about the cases themselves was interesting, I particularly enjoyed hearing true crime from the detective’s point of view. We get to learn not only what was going on in the cases, but also get to understand the irreparable harm that homicide has on people far beyond the victim. Ryan explains his navigation of happiness in a world full of pain and death, which helps the reader understand the purpose behind sharing these stories.
Ryan gracefully shows us that death does not discriminate and that there is no way to hide from evil in this world. However, Ryan inspires us to find a way to live for the living and respect the lives that were taken far too soon.
I particularly enjoyed the structure of the book – separated by case. Ryan outlines six cases that impacted him the most throughout his career. While learning about the cases themselves was interesting, I particularly enjoyed hearing true crime from the detective’s point of view. We get to learn not only what was going on in the cases, but also get to understand the irreparable harm that homicide has on people far beyond the victim. Ryan explains his navigation of happiness in a world full of pain and death, which helps the reader understand the purpose behind sharing these stories.
Ryan gracefully shows us that death does not discriminate and that there is no way to hide from evil in this world. However, Ryan inspires us to find a way to live for the living and respect the lives that were taken far too soon.
June 8, 2022
As someone who likes true-crime shows and books, i wasn't disappointed with this one. It's nicely written with easy narrative. Retired detective Steve Ryan shares his life story as well as most gruesome murders that kept him up at night. They were sad but i found it oddly fascinating following all the procedures and things detectives had to do. The best part of this book is definitely the humane element, the stories of the victims and their lives. They were people before they were cases and murder investigations and my heart just broke for them. So it's pretty understandable if seeing those things every day can affect a person, i don't know how all of those people working in police force do it but i admire them. Overall this was an enjoyable read, i just think it should've been longer but i'm not complaining.
Thank you Edelweiss for sending me ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you Edelweiss for sending me ARC in exchange for an honest review.
June 5, 2022
In The Ghost That Haunt Me by Steve Ryan we’re here truly horrible stories where the murder victims are killed by those who were supposed to love and care for them in the ones where strangers took their life. Either way the stories were said and I can see why they still haunt Detective Ryan. Although he is going on to be a crime analyst for a local TV station he is still haunted by these cases and they are all in this book and if you love true crime you’re definitely going to want to read this. He was a Toronto detective for 13 years but a policeman for 30 and he gives credible remembrances and then one it was a trip to Jamaica in the middle of winter, but the last thing he did was make great memories instead he was there to tell him mother the daughter she thought went to be educated in America was dead. I am so glad I got to read the stories and I’m thankful Mr. Ryan decided to share them with the world. He feels much and conveys all in this book and I appreciate it. Please forgive any errors I am blind and dictate my review but all opinions are definitely my own. I was given this book by Net Galley.
August 23, 2022
“The Ghosts That Haunt Me” is a memoir by retired Toronto homicide Detective Steve Ryan. It is an unblinking examination into six of the investigations that continue to haunt his dreams, the seven victims of which have left imprints on his very soul. This was an incredibly difficult book for Steve to pen, thinking daily as he does about each of these people, reliving each nightmare scenario. It is almost equally as difficult for his reader to ingest both the process and what the investigation, autopsy, and crime scenes reveal. It must seem an insurmountable task for any police personnel to visit a crime scene and collect the necessary evidence to convict the murderer. He also described the teamwork involved in all homicide cases, giving us a peek into the police “family” that is made by their reliance on each other. The loss and heartbreak caused by these despicable acts will last a lifetime. In the end, we see a tiny bit of hope that good overcomes evil in these cases, in the sense that the criminals involved are removed from the street, must answer for what they’ve done, are brought to justice, and will serve prison time, giving some closure to the grieving families.
Steve Ryan is one hell of a writer, with the ability to put the reader into his shoes, describing in detail the sights, sounds, smells, and aftereffects of each crime scene. His has an innate ability to humanize each of these seven people as they lived, not just portray them as victims. It must be very easy to become hard in his chosen profession as a means of self-preservation, but even at the end of the book it is abundantly clear that he has remained emotional and attached to each person. He expresses wishes to have known them in life as well as he knows them in death. I don’t believe his job ever got “easier” for him in any sense, and his dread for approaching each new case and each step involved is palpable. Even in “retirement” he works for a television station as an expert crime newscaster, where he analyzes the minds of the perpetrators and the detectives for the viewing audience. This is simply an incredible, heartbreaking memoir, and it is one I’ll never forget.
Trigger warnings: murder, child and domestic abuse, mention of suicide, and graphic details.
I’d like to thank NetGalley, Steve Ryan, and Dundurn Press for the ability to read and review this ARC.
Steve Ryan is one hell of a writer, with the ability to put the reader into his shoes, describing in detail the sights, sounds, smells, and aftereffects of each crime scene. His has an innate ability to humanize each of these seven people as they lived, not just portray them as victims. It must be very easy to become hard in his chosen profession as a means of self-preservation, but even at the end of the book it is abundantly clear that he has remained emotional and attached to each person. He expresses wishes to have known them in life as well as he knows them in death. I don’t believe his job ever got “easier” for him in any sense, and his dread for approaching each new case and each step involved is palpable. Even in “retirement” he works for a television station as an expert crime newscaster, where he analyzes the minds of the perpetrators and the detectives for the viewing audience. This is simply an incredible, heartbreaking memoir, and it is one I’ll never forget.
Trigger warnings: murder, child and domestic abuse, mention of suicide, and graphic details.
I’d like to thank NetGalley, Steve Ryan, and Dundurn Press for the ability to read and review this ARC.
September 25, 2022
I enjoyed this book from Steve Ryan. He discusses the cases he's worked over the years and not only how they have affected him but the community of Toronto at large. The six cases he's chosen to scrutinize are each in turn horrifying and sad. Out of all of them, I think the three tourists from Europe affected me the most.
This is the second crime-related memoir I've read this year. I've found this book to be fascinating and haunting. I do like the author's writing style--you actually feel as if you're there, investigating with him. The grief over the wasted lives just pours off the pages.
Thank you to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for this ARC. In return this is my honest review and all opinions are my own.
This is the second crime-related memoir I've read this year. I've found this book to be fascinating and haunting. I do like the author's writing style--you actually feel as if you're there, investigating with him. The grief over the wasted lives just pours off the pages.
Thank you to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for this ARC. In return this is my honest review and all opinions are my own.
April 6, 2023
“My work began when their lives ended. I never got to hear their laughs or see their kindness. I’ve only heard stories about who it was they really were. The version of them I came to know is one shown to me through the filter of their loved ones.”
Reading a lot of homicide related fiction, its interesting to read true crime as well. Even tho at both situations it’s sometimes hard to read what someone did to other person.. and events that lead to the murder. How and why would someone even do that, I guess, is the question we will never find the answer to.
Reading a lot of homicide related fiction, its interesting to read true crime as well. Even tho at both situations it’s sometimes hard to read what someone did to other person.. and events that lead to the murder. How and why would someone even do that, I guess, is the question we will never find the answer to.
September 24, 2022
True crime is not something I'm typically drawn to. I don't want to read/listen to a detailed account of someone's death- or be plagued by questions we'll likely never have the answers for. I was drawn to this because of the unique perspective from which it's told- and I was not disappointed.
Ryan reflects on his time as a homicide detective- and six of the cases that still haunt him to this day. This he does with respect. Respect for the victims, their loved ones, and his former colleagues. He talks about the weight of knowing the best he could do was help find closure- and the affect each case had on those who were involved.
CW: S*xual assault, murder, su*cide, domestic/child abuse, grief.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy of The Ghosts That Haunt Me in exchange for an honest review!
Ryan reflects on his time as a homicide detective- and six of the cases that still haunt him to this day. This he does with respect. Respect for the victims, their loved ones, and his former colleagues. He talks about the weight of knowing the best he could do was help find closure- and the affect each case had on those who were involved.
CW: S*xual assault, murder, su*cide, domestic/child abuse, grief.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy of The Ghosts That Haunt Me in exchange for an honest review!
July 21, 2022
The Ghosts that Haunt me By Steve Ryan is a dark reminder of just some of the evil that is the human race. Steve writes about six cases that stuck with him throughout his career as a homicide detective. I found myself having hard time putting the book down and when I did it was to Google the cases in the book.
I found it interesting hearing his notes on why clues where noticed, why police officers did what and the general procedure that a detective will go through from start to finish. Though I know that each case would be hard to deal with and would slowly eat away at you, I never realized until I read this book just in what way the horrible murders and situations can haunt a member of the police force.
The writing style is simplistic and easy to read; you are not lost in details that do not matter to the story, case and the way Steve felt. I was especially haunted by the chapters on Holly and Katelyn. I highly recommend this book for any true crime fan.
I found it interesting hearing his notes on why clues where noticed, why police officers did what and the general procedure that a detective will go through from start to finish. Though I know that each case would be hard to deal with and would slowly eat away at you, I never realized until I read this book just in what way the horrible murders and situations can haunt a member of the police force.
The writing style is simplistic and easy to read; you are not lost in details that do not matter to the story, case and the way Steve felt. I was especially haunted by the chapters on Holly and Katelyn. I highly recommend this book for any true crime fan.
August 10, 2022
“I think what hurt me even more than the cruelty and horror I saw on a daily basis was the sadness I witnessed”
True crime fans. Here is another one to add to your list. Retired detective, Steve Ryan reflects on 6 cases that will forever stay with him. These cases were gruesome and impactful. The author had me googling to see if I could learn more on them. He does a great job in making you understand the process that entails in and around an investigation. A little wordy at times but totally bingeable.
It was quite eye opening to see the other side of these hideous crimes that people commit. He did a great job on displaying the tolls this job takes on a detective, both physically and mentally. I realize this is a job I could never do.
You do not need to be Canadian to enjoy this one. Pick it up! Thank you to @netgally for providing me with an ARC and to @dundurn for the physical ARC. And thank you to Steve for telling your story.
True crime fans. Here is another one to add to your list. Retired detective, Steve Ryan reflects on 6 cases that will forever stay with him. These cases were gruesome and impactful. The author had me googling to see if I could learn more on them. He does a great job in making you understand the process that entails in and around an investigation. A little wordy at times but totally bingeable.
It was quite eye opening to see the other side of these hideous crimes that people commit. He did a great job on displaying the tolls this job takes on a detective, both physically and mentally. I realize this is a job I could never do.
You do not need to be Canadian to enjoy this one. Pick it up! Thank you to @netgally for providing me with an ARC and to @dundurn for the physical ARC. And thank you to Steve for telling your story.
November 4, 2022
This was a thoughtful, well written, and emotional read. I was familiar with only one of the cases, the murder of little Holly, after having seen the documentary The Lake Erie Murders. I had not heard the stories of the other victims and thought they deserved to be told by someone who not only cared deeply, but who was closely involved in bringing their killers to justice. Each crime was particularly haunting, devastating and chilling. I found it an incredibly difficult read and was brought to tears by how desperately sad and unthinkable the crimes were.
I think the author handled it with respect, compassion, and dignity. I was interested in what he had to say, as he navigated his thoughts and feelings, attempting to offer insight into the suffering and horror he had witnessed, much of which there can be no comprehension.
Thanks to Netgalley for the opportunity to read this arc.
I think the author handled it with respect, compassion, and dignity. I was interested in what he had to say, as he navigated his thoughts and feelings, attempting to offer insight into the suffering and horror he had witnessed, much of which there can be no comprehension.
Thanks to Netgalley for the opportunity to read this arc.
November 13, 2023
The Ghosts That Haunt Me is a memoir by semi-retired Canadian police detective Steve Ryan. He’s since left the police force and is now a crime reporter, which I do believe might be better for his mental health.
Within these pages are the cases that got to Ryan. Even though they were resolved, they are the most disturbing and haunt him the most. And reading them, it is incredibly disturbing to see how cavalier some people can be about human lives. Especially those that they supposedly love and care for.
If you’re into this genre of reading I would definitely recommend this one. I did have to not read a few of these right before bed, which isn’t usually a thing with me. But, there’s something about true stories of human depravity that just wouldn’t have helped me sleep with this one.
Within these pages are the cases that got to Ryan. Even though they were resolved, they are the most disturbing and haunt him the most. And reading them, it is incredibly disturbing to see how cavalier some people can be about human lives. Especially those that they supposedly love and care for.
If you’re into this genre of reading I would definitely recommend this one. I did have to not read a few of these right before bed, which isn’t usually a thing with me. But, there’s something about true stories of human depravity that just wouldn’t have helped me sleep with this one.
June 10, 2022
This book Does. Not. Fail. As a investigative forensics student, I was so excited to be approved to read this book by NetGalley.
Steve Ryan does not disappoint in his retelling of the homicides that continue to haunt him. In these quick chapters, you feel the pain of the victim and family and I almost felt as though I was there. I didn’t want the stories to end but was happy that they weren’t bogged down by too much terminology. For true crime fanatics who just want something quick and entertaining, this is perfect.
Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.
Steve Ryan does not disappoint in his retelling of the homicides that continue to haunt him. In these quick chapters, you feel the pain of the victim and family and I almost felt as though I was there. I didn’t want the stories to end but was happy that they weren’t bogged down by too much terminology. For true crime fanatics who just want something quick and entertaining, this is perfect.
Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 24, 2024
An easy read for any lover of true crime
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