What do you think?
Rate this book
The Family Outing: A Memoir
A striking and remarkable literary memoir about one family's transformation, with almost all of them embracing their queer identities.
Jessi Hempel was raised in a seemingly picture-perfect, middle-class American family. But the truth was far from perfect. Her father was constantly away from home, traveling for work, while her stay-at-home mother became increasingly lonely and erratic. Growing up, Jessi and her two siblings struggled to make sense of their family, their world, their changing bodies, and the emotional turmoil each was experiencing. And each, in their own way, was hiding their true self from the world.
By the time Jessi reached adulthood, everyone in her family had come out: Jessi as gay, her sister as bisexual, her father as gay, her brother as transgender, and her mother as a survivor of a traumatic experience with an alleged serial killer. Yet coming out was just the beginning, starting a chain reaction of other personal revelations and reckonings that caused each of them to question their place in the world in new and ultimately liberating ways.
Jessi Hempel was raised in a seemingly picture-perfect, middle-class American family. But the truth was far from perfect. Her father was constantly away from home, traveling for work, while her stay-at-home mother became increasingly lonely and erratic. Growing up, Jessi and her two siblings struggled to make sense of their family, their world, their changing bodies, and the emotional turmoil each was experiencing. And each, in their own way, was hiding their true self from the world.
By the time Jessi reached adulthood, everyone in her family had come out: Jessi as gay, her sister as bisexual, her father as gay, her brother as transgender, and her mother as a survivor of a traumatic experience with an alleged serial killer. Yet coming out was just the beginning, starting a chain reaction of other personal revelations and reckonings that caused each of them to question their place in the world in new and ultimately liberating ways.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published October 4, 2022
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 226 reviews
September 7, 2022
At the beginning of this book I thought of it as almost a fantasy, what many queer people like me wish for but will never get. It is, of course, not that simple. But I don't know, by the end it feels like a fantasy to me. A family where everyone has grown, where everyone has tried, where they have hurt each other and found ways to move past it. And, of course, a family where nearly everyone is queer. (It is 4 out of 5, pretty good odds.)
I love memoirs about change, about going through it and coming out better, about the work and thought it takes. And this certainly delivers in that respect. It is a little uneven, though this is inherent to the situation and memoir doesn't let you tidy up your plot lines. For the first half the family is together but unhappy, it is not one of those epically unhappy families that you have seen in other memoirs, where the whole point is to show you just how monstrous this parent was or how horrible that sibling was. Everyone is trying, it just isn't working. Just as Jessi and her two siblings are reaching adulthood they all break apart and that is when things start to slowly shift.
Hempel wisely includes her making of this book in the telling of it. She calls it "the project," and it included many long interviews with her family members. They have all agreed to let Jessi tell the story, but that means all agreeing to share their versions of it with her. Jessi does get to be the dominant figure, which makes sense, but she leaves lots of room for everyone else. I could have had more of this, I would have happily had another hundred pages where we had more of these opportunities to zero in on them individually. (Especially because the early chapters about her parents before their marriage are some of the best in the book, she's adept at giving us this view.)
There is no one moment where they all get together and have it out or apologize. Instead they grow back together in fits and starts. There are hurdles and stalls. Their mother in particular struggles, the only straight cis person in the family, and makes a lot of typical mistakes parents of a trans person make.
I was a little nervous when I learned that Hempel's brother is trans, I have read enough memoirs and personal writings where trans people are deadnamed because the writer has decided "this is what it was when I lived it so that is the version I will write." This is Hempel's instinct as well, but fortunately, Hempel asks her brother what to do and her brother is quite clear that he should always be written about in this story as a he. We never learn his deadname, and it is fine! It is easy! It is clearly the right choice and more writers could learn from it. We see how he is socialized as a girl and we can clearly understand the way the family presents, but his pronouns are always he/him and it feels like the most honest version of the story.
I enjoyed this a lot, I would have happily listened to hours more of it. I did audio, read by Hempel, and she is very good, not too slick but also not that more monotone read that some authors give.
I love memoirs about change, about going through it and coming out better, about the work and thought it takes. And this certainly delivers in that respect. It is a little uneven, though this is inherent to the situation and memoir doesn't let you tidy up your plot lines. For the first half the family is together but unhappy, it is not one of those epically unhappy families that you have seen in other memoirs, where the whole point is to show you just how monstrous this parent was or how horrible that sibling was. Everyone is trying, it just isn't working. Just as Jessi and her two siblings are reaching adulthood they all break apart and that is when things start to slowly shift.
Hempel wisely includes her making of this book in the telling of it. She calls it "the project," and it included many long interviews with her family members. They have all agreed to let Jessi tell the story, but that means all agreeing to share their versions of it with her. Jessi does get to be the dominant figure, which makes sense, but she leaves lots of room for everyone else. I could have had more of this, I would have happily had another hundred pages where we had more of these opportunities to zero in on them individually. (Especially because the early chapters about her parents before their marriage are some of the best in the book, she's adept at giving us this view.)
There is no one moment where they all get together and have it out or apologize. Instead they grow back together in fits and starts. There are hurdles and stalls. Their mother in particular struggles, the only straight cis person in the family, and makes a lot of typical mistakes parents of a trans person make.
I was a little nervous when I learned that Hempel's brother is trans, I have read enough memoirs and personal writings where trans people are deadnamed because the writer has decided "this is what it was when I lived it so that is the version I will write." This is Hempel's instinct as well, but fortunately, Hempel asks her brother what to do and her brother is quite clear that he should always be written about in this story as a he. We never learn his deadname, and it is fine! It is easy! It is clearly the right choice and more writers could learn from it. We see how he is socialized as a girl and we can clearly understand the way the family presents, but his pronouns are always he/him and it feels like the most honest version of the story.
I enjoyed this a lot, I would have happily listened to hours more of it. I did audio, read by Hempel, and she is very good, not too slick but also not that more monotone read that some authors give.
July 3, 2022
Loved this memoir from the start!! I liked how the author curated scenes from her life that depicted how she felt at certain moments. The scenes were interesting, engaging, and fun to read. A lot about this book resonated with me -- how the author navigated relationships, learned what it means to be and feel lovable, and to grow through the obstacles. I haven't read a memoir that involved the other "characters" in the research and telling of the story, so this was cool to see. Very well-written.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ebook in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ebook in exchange for an honest review.
June 12, 2022
This book took me through every possible emotion…laughing in one chapter and crying in the next. I did not expect to get so attached to the people in the story but oh I did! Their frustration, happiness, hopelessness and then their wholeness as a family bonded them to me.
I hated for the book to end but so glad that everyone’s story came full circle.
I encourage everyone to read this moving novel. You will come away from it a different person. I did.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love.❤️
I hated for the book to end but so glad that everyone’s story came full circle.
I encourage everyone to read this moving novel. You will come away from it a different person. I did.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love.❤️
August 18, 2022
I should’ve loved this, a memoir where everyone is on the lgbt spectrum, minus mom who’s got a serial killer story… but I just didn’t really connect to the story telling.
Up front the author says they had time over the pandemic to interview her family, and I guess how it reads feels like that. I wanted a much deeper dive on all her family members, but each one’s story was “they came out and we had no idea the whole time, but we were all cool with it”.
Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.
Up front the author says they had time over the pandemic to interview her family, and I guess how it reads feels like that. I wanted a much deeper dive on all her family members, but each one’s story was “they came out and we had no idea the whole time, but we were all cool with it”.
Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.
November 7, 2023
Not going to lie, I picked this book up for the title/cover and didn't read the back cover. I do that sometimes. Why? I like a surprise and seem to thrive in chaos. I thought this was going to be some thriller but the rainbow should have given it away! This was a non-fiction memoir of a family who all a part of the LGBTQ+ community! This is why you shouldn't let ME judge books by their covers. I'm perpetually wrong.
Regardless, this book was PHENOMENAL. I'm glad I made such an odd choice thinking this was a thriller because the book was so lovely and so interesting. This memoir will open your heart and hopefully make you smile. What an engaging read and Jessi Hempel... what a story teller.
Four out of five stars.
Regardless, this book was PHENOMENAL. I'm glad I made such an odd choice thinking this was a thriller because the book was so lovely and so interesting. This memoir will open your heart and hopefully make you smile. What an engaging read and Jessi Hempel... what a story teller.
Four out of five stars.
August 10, 2023
This feels like an after thought instead of an intentional book.
The timeline jumps all over the place with random stories that don't always add to the emotions or developments.
I guess I was hoping for a deeper delve into the intricacies of the family dynamics in an (almost) all queer family and how they all dealt with it in their own ways. There is some of this, but it felt extremely superficial.
In a book about family there is a lot of disconnect.
It's still an interesting book, because how many people do you know born into a full on queer family?
I wish the author had spent more time weaving a more cohesive book.
The timeline jumps all over the place with random stories that don't always add to the emotions or developments.
I guess I was hoping for a deeper delve into the intricacies of the family dynamics in an (almost) all queer family and how they all dealt with it in their own ways. There is some of this, but it felt extremely superficial.
In a book about family there is a lot of disconnect.
It's still an interesting book, because how many people do you know born into a full on queer family?
I wish the author had spent more time weaving a more cohesive book.
June 1, 2022
I could not put this book down -- what an incredible story!
Shelved as 'dnf'
February 20, 2024There's nothing wrong with this, per se, but it is not grabbing me. Too bad, as the story of 4 out of 5 of the author's family coming out as queer or trans later in life sounded so interesting! DNF at 15%
November 14, 2022
Title:
The Family Outing
Author: Jessi Hempel
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.0
Pub Date: October 4, 2022
Thanks to HarperCollins Canada for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
T H R E E • W O R D S
Interesting • Vulnerable • Encouraging
📖 S Y N O P S I S
Jessi Hempel was raised in a middle-class American family, yet the truth was far from perfect.
Her father was constantly away from home, while her stay-at-home mother became increasingly lonely and erratic. Growing up, Jessi and her two siblings struggled to make sense of their family, their world, their changing bodies, and the emotional turmoil each was experiencing.
By the time Jessi reached adulthood, everyone in her family had come out: Jessi as gay, her sister as bisexual, her father as gay, her brother as transgender, and her mother as a survivor of a traumatic experience with an alleged serial killer. Yet coming out was just the beginning, starting a chain reaction of other personal revelations and reckonings that caused each of them to question their place in the world in new and ultimately liberating ways.
💭 T H O U G H T S
What a poignant, well-written memoir about queer identities, transformation, and a family coming to terms with who they are individually, as well as collectively. The narrative offers a variety of experiences, as each member of the family moves towards living their authentic lives.
Hempel writes with vulnerability and honesty about her family's dysfunction and complexities. Sharing her family's experiences, we see how they each grew on their own, culminating in growth and acceptance as a whole as well.
However, it must be said that the accounts are told solely from the author's lens. Yes, the family was interviewed as part of the writing process, but it is Jessi that did the writing. And because of this, each person's story felt like a quick summary rather than the emotional deep dive I desired. I simply wanted more depth.
And I know it may seem contradictory to ask for more depth, while also saying it felt too long, but both a true. Additionally, because the stories aren't told in chronological order, it felt a little scrambled at times.
Mixing heaviness and pain with joy and love, The Family Outing unearths the damage of long-held secrets, the liberating nature of living as our authentic selves, and the healing power of telling our stories.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• memoir lovers
• readers searching for coming-out or queer family stories
⚠️ CW: mental illness, PTSD, depression, self-harm, suicide attempt, violence, cancer, death, grief
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"All change is abrupt, even the change that happens slowly over time. There's always a singular moment that defines it: It's the flip of a switch, the wrong turn, the letter opened, the instant of knowing. Afterward, you search back to see who you were in the seconds before the change. You try to experience the feeling of life you have just left. But it's as impossible as trying to conjure the feeling of snow in summer."
Author: Jessi Hempel
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.0
Pub Date: October 4, 2022
Thanks to HarperCollins Canada for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
T H R E E • W O R D S
Interesting • Vulnerable • Encouraging
📖 S Y N O P S I S
Jessi Hempel was raised in a middle-class American family, yet the truth was far from perfect.
Her father was constantly away from home, while her stay-at-home mother became increasingly lonely and erratic. Growing up, Jessi and her two siblings struggled to make sense of their family, their world, their changing bodies, and the emotional turmoil each was experiencing.
By the time Jessi reached adulthood, everyone in her family had come out: Jessi as gay, her sister as bisexual, her father as gay, her brother as transgender, and her mother as a survivor of a traumatic experience with an alleged serial killer. Yet coming out was just the beginning, starting a chain reaction of other personal revelations and reckonings that caused each of them to question their place in the world in new and ultimately liberating ways.
💭 T H O U G H T S
What a poignant, well-written memoir about queer identities, transformation, and a family coming to terms with who they are individually, as well as collectively. The narrative offers a variety of experiences, as each member of the family moves towards living their authentic lives.
Hempel writes with vulnerability and honesty about her family's dysfunction and complexities. Sharing her family's experiences, we see how they each grew on their own, culminating in growth and acceptance as a whole as well.
However, it must be said that the accounts are told solely from the author's lens. Yes, the family was interviewed as part of the writing process, but it is Jessi that did the writing. And because of this, each person's story felt like a quick summary rather than the emotional deep dive I desired. I simply wanted more depth.
And I know it may seem contradictory to ask for more depth, while also saying it felt too long, but both a true. Additionally, because the stories aren't told in chronological order, it felt a little scrambled at times.
Mixing heaviness and pain with joy and love, The Family Outing unearths the damage of long-held secrets, the liberating nature of living as our authentic selves, and the healing power of telling our stories.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• memoir lovers
• readers searching for coming-out or queer family stories
⚠️ CW: mental illness, PTSD, depression, self-harm, suicide attempt, violence, cancer, death, grief
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"All change is abrupt, even the change that happens slowly over time. There's always a singular moment that defines it: It's the flip of a switch, the wrong turn, the letter opened, the instant of knowing. Afterward, you search back to see who you were in the seconds before the change. You try to experience the feeling of life you have just left. But it's as impossible as trying to conjure the feeling of snow in summer."
November 10, 2022
This is clearly a very compassionate and reflective foray into the author’s family history. It was no doubt a cathartic project and based on the reviews people really seemed to take a lot away from this story that I didn’t really. Maybe I identify with it too closely so I have a hard time giving it 10.5 audiobook hours of space in my life.
May 27, 2023
The Family Outing was an interesting look at many “coming out” journeys. The first few chapters led me to think that Hempel’s family members would have their stories included more in the narrative, which I found a bit disappointing.
November 28, 2022
A 2022 staff favorite recommended by Natalie. Check our catalog: https://encore.cooklib.org/iii/encore...
Read
July 19, 2022advance reader copy from netgalley, and just adding that this was extra weird bc one of the people profiled in it is a friend. but have you ever read a book and been like, wow, if this were written after like another 18 months of therapy it would be really good? it felt a little bit too unprocessed and sometimes hard to follow, and sometimes sort of boring, but overall i got through it and felt okay about it!
January 5, 2023
Oh boy, looks like memoirs and me are having a hard time getting along.
I really really wanted to like this, but I just found it so hard to read and connect with the story. Most of it is told from just one pov, with barely any pov from the people who actually experienced and went through the trauma.
I really really wanted to like this, but I just found it so hard to read and connect with the story. Most of it is told from just one pov, with barely any pov from the people who actually experienced and went through the trauma.
October 12, 2022
I couldn't find a reason to care about the story. Idk if it's just not something I can connect to or if it was the writing style
October 9, 2022
This was an interesting and emotional memoir about the author, her family, and the stories of how they all came out. The author is a lesbian, her sister is bisexual, her brother is transgender, and her dad is gay. They each had different paths towards coming out to themselves and the world.
I enjoyed learning about each of their experiences and how the family as a whole navigated these transitions. Some parts of this book are quite heavy and painful while others are full of joy and love. I really appreciated that the author chose not to ever reveal her brother’s deadname or speak of him as anything other than a boy, even during memories pre-transition.
The events aren’t presented in chronological order, which at times felt a little scattered, but I was able to keep track of everything regardless. I’d recommend this one for people looking for memoirs about coming out and queer families.
A few TW: self-harm, cancer, death and grief
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!
I enjoyed learning about each of their experiences and how the family as a whole navigated these transitions. Some parts of this book are quite heavy and painful while others are full of joy and love. I really appreciated that the author chose not to ever reveal her brother’s deadname or speak of him as anything other than a boy, even during memories pre-transition.
The events aren’t presented in chronological order, which at times felt a little scattered, but I was able to keep track of everything regardless. I’d recommend this one for people looking for memoirs about coming out and queer families.
A few TW: self-harm, cancer, death and grief
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!
January 14, 2023
So interesting. A family… all LGBTQIA’s and their struggles.
July 16, 2023
I had the pleasure of seeing Jessi speak about her book. She is an excellent story teller - engaging, funny, and real. I purchased her book and was eager to read it. The beginning started out with a lot of detail regarding her parents history. I thought - this is a vastly different tone and story telling than I was expecting. . . I kept with it and realize how important this historical context is to the rest of the book. I am glad I did.
This book explores the concept of 'coming out' in any aspect of life and is relatable to anyone who questions their identity and that identity in relation to the world - no matter your gender, race, ethnicity, geography. Through her sharing of her own personal 'coming out' and the 'coming out' of each family member so much more is addressed than the stories of 5 individuals and the family as a collective. The book explores identity, sexual orientation, grappling with and realization of how family history influences parenting, upbringing, and the way we navigate the world. There is a lot to address and left me reflecting on a number of topics personally and globally.
A member of my book club knows the author from growing up in the same town and attending the same high school. Through this connection (and Jessi did say at her talk/book signing she has done this for other clubs) she graciously agreed to share her time with us and join the book club. I really appreciated this opportunity and the openness to hear Jessi elaborate or to answer questions about the book or life outside the book. She opened by saying "No question is off the table." And with that, the group had an amazing discussion about the book and reflections with Jessi. What a gift!
This review may seem a bit disjointed, but come back to it after you have read the book and let me know if it then makes sense. :)
This book explores the concept of 'coming out' in any aspect of life and is relatable to anyone who questions their identity and that identity in relation to the world - no matter your gender, race, ethnicity, geography. Through her sharing of her own personal 'coming out' and the 'coming out' of each family member so much more is addressed than the stories of 5 individuals and the family as a collective. The book explores identity, sexual orientation, grappling with and realization of how family history influences parenting, upbringing, and the way we navigate the world. There is a lot to address and left me reflecting on a number of topics personally and globally.
A member of my book club knows the author from growing up in the same town and attending the same high school. Through this connection (and Jessi did say at her talk/book signing she has done this for other clubs) she graciously agreed to share her time with us and join the book club. I really appreciated this opportunity and the openness to hear Jessi elaborate or to answer questions about the book or life outside the book. She opened by saying "No question is off the table." And with that, the group had an amazing discussion about the book and reflections with Jessi. What a gift!
This review may seem a bit disjointed, but come back to it after you have read the book and let me know if it then makes sense. :)
September 12, 2022
This ARC was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This title publishes October 4, 2022.
This memoir follows the author’s family wherein multiple people come out: the author herself is gay, her sister is bisexual, her dad is gay, and her brother is trans. The author recounts her experiences growing up in this family, each of the family members’ coming out experiences, and how all of these things affected each of the family members' livelihoods.
Ultimately, I did not enjoy the writing in this memoir due the experiences being told exclusively from the author’s point of view described more as a play-by-play summary than as an inviting challenging emotional recounting. This left me feeling disconnected from the moments and stories in the book that were supposed to be emotionally hard hitting.
Positives:
-Honesty with which the author wrote about the family’s dysfunction and complexities
-Honesty with which the author wrote about each family member’s journey to overcome their struggles
-Optimistic outlook written regarding the family coming together to share their story
Criticisms:
-The author recounted her parents’ and siblings’ coming out experiences from her own perspective. Since it wasn’t a personal account, it felt like a glazed over summary of each of these people’s experiences, rather than an emotionally vulnerable account. The entire book felt like a summary of each of these people’s lives rather than an emotional deep dive of their formative experiences, emotional journey, and coming out process.
-It seemed like the author prioritized page time for her family members’ experiences and not her own, so I still feel like I never really learned about our author’s own feelings and experiences.
-For example, the author tells us something her brother did while the author was in college. The author summarizes the event and admits she did not know at the time that this event occurred, since she was in college at the time and didn’t talk to her brother much. Then, we really never got to see what the author herself was doing at the time in college, or how she eventually found out about the brother’s experiences that were just described. Thus, the reader never learns of the deep emotional impact that either of these people were experiencing from the event described.
-The timeline was disjointed and hard to follow at times. We would hear about an event happening in their family, and then the event would be reiterated from a different person’s perspective two chapters later.
-The memoir felt long, yet we never really got to feel connected to the interpersonal feelings of anyone. It felt like a summary of the family, not a personal account.
-I would’ve DNFd if it weren’t for a NetGalley review
This memoir follows the author’s family wherein multiple people come out: the author herself is gay, her sister is bisexual, her dad is gay, and her brother is trans. The author recounts her experiences growing up in this family, each of the family members’ coming out experiences, and how all of these things affected each of the family members' livelihoods.
Ultimately, I did not enjoy the writing in this memoir due the experiences being told exclusively from the author’s point of view described more as a play-by-play summary than as an inviting challenging emotional recounting. This left me feeling disconnected from the moments and stories in the book that were supposed to be emotionally hard hitting.
Positives:
-Honesty with which the author wrote about the family’s dysfunction and complexities
-Honesty with which the author wrote about each family member’s journey to overcome their struggles
-Optimistic outlook written regarding the family coming together to share their story
Criticisms:
-The author recounted her parents’ and siblings’ coming out experiences from her own perspective. Since it wasn’t a personal account, it felt like a glazed over summary of each of these people’s experiences, rather than an emotionally vulnerable account. The entire book felt like a summary of each of these people’s lives rather than an emotional deep dive of their formative experiences, emotional journey, and coming out process.
-It seemed like the author prioritized page time for her family members’ experiences and not her own, so I still feel like I never really learned about our author’s own feelings and experiences.
-For example, the author tells us something her brother did while the author was in college. The author summarizes the event and admits she did not know at the time that this event occurred, since she was in college at the time and didn’t talk to her brother much. Then, we really never got to see what the author herself was doing at the time in college, or how she eventually found out about the brother’s experiences that were just described. Thus, the reader never learns of the deep emotional impact that either of these people were experiencing from the event described.
-The timeline was disjointed and hard to follow at times. We would hear about an event happening in their family, and then the event would be reiterated from a different person’s perspective two chapters later.
-The memoir felt long, yet we never really got to feel connected to the interpersonal feelings of anyone. It felt like a summary of the family, not a personal account.
-I would’ve DNFd if it weren’t for a NetGalley review
March 4, 2023
Well, this isn’t exactly a picnic in the park or a day at the beach - it’s a memoir of dysfunctional family life at its finest. Too long and dragged out with drama that’s over the top. Interesting subject matter, just not very well written. I was left with many unanswered questions. Where did they get all this money to fly wherever they wanted whenever? The mother is a total mess and am yet she is qualified to dispense advice?? I’ve never heard of the author and am bewildered by her credentials - her writing was atrocious.
I found all the relationships way too intense. No one wants to be smothered and controlled- gay or straight. Maybe that’s why none of them lasted. Not one likable character- they all came across as weird and maladjusted.
I suggest Governor Ron DeSantis read this, before he has it banned!!
I found all the relationships way too intense. No one wants to be smothered and controlled- gay or straight. Maybe that’s why none of them lasted. Not one likable character- they all came across as weird and maladjusted.
I suggest Governor Ron DeSantis read this, before he has it banned!!
July 20, 2023
I was hoping for so much more from this book. I am glad that I read it but I wish the author would have done a bit more of a personal dive into each of her family members to help the reader/potential readers understand more about the community her family was a part of. I thought the writing was a bit erratic and jumped all over the place. For me the writing seemed more about listing a timeline of family events as opposed to getting any sort of insight into each persons thoughts on how they related to the world around them and how others related to them. I was expecting more of a personal connection to each family member.
August 23, 2023
I didn’t love or hate a single family member in this book. None. First world problems. You’d think a family full of gays would be more exciting but they weren’t. Book club read or I’d have put it down.
August 21, 2023
Love the premise but this book somehow felt both way too long and way too vague
October 2, 2022
Memoirs truly are like reading someone’s diary. I am continually amazed by the vulnerability and candidness that comes with each one. The raw inner most moments and thoughts our authors let us in on. As with most memoirs I do recommend doing your research on any possible triggers you may avoid.
Memoirs are always so tricky in terms of reviews and wording. We are quite literally talking about someone else’s life. Things we normally consider with a fiction book are tricky in terms of someone’s own life story. Did I “love” it? Did I “like” it? Was it “good”? Was it “great”? Did I “enjoy” it? How do you phrase your appreciation for someone letting you into their own life? In my own opinion this was very well written, I thought our author did a great job of putting together many years and many relationships. I enjoyed learning about the piecing together of the book and phone calls with family members about it. I appreciated the growth everyone in the book made. And I appreciated the honesty of the struggles. It is a book I would recommend and it has great representation. I think often we can learn from others and I think this book could be very helpful, inspiring and encouraging for many people. So if those things make it “great” and “good” then I could for sure see saying it was. I really appreciated it and think it was well written and I especially appreciate our author sharing this book with us.
Many thanks to our author, Netgalley and HarperOne for providing me with an advanced eGalley copy of the book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This “comes out” on October 4th, 2022 and I hope if you choose to read it you like it also.
Memoirs are always so tricky in terms of reviews and wording. We are quite literally talking about someone else’s life. Things we normally consider with a fiction book are tricky in terms of someone’s own life story. Did I “love” it? Did I “like” it? Was it “good”? Was it “great”? Did I “enjoy” it? How do you phrase your appreciation for someone letting you into their own life? In my own opinion this was very well written, I thought our author did a great job of putting together many years and many relationships. I enjoyed learning about the piecing together of the book and phone calls with family members about it. I appreciated the growth everyone in the book made. And I appreciated the honesty of the struggles. It is a book I would recommend and it has great representation. I think often we can learn from others and I think this book could be very helpful, inspiring and encouraging for many people. So if those things make it “great” and “good” then I could for sure see saying it was. I really appreciated it and think it was well written and I especially appreciate our author sharing this book with us.
Many thanks to our author, Netgalley and HarperOne for providing me with an advanced eGalley copy of the book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This “comes out” on October 4th, 2022 and I hope if you choose to read it you like it also.
October 3, 2022
Firstly thank you to HarperCollins Canada for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I find it very hard to review memoirs, I feel like I am giving their life a star rating. This doesn't sit well with me so this review is about my reading experience and enjoyment of them telling their story.
This novel was very well written, and you can tell how much emotion went into writing it. This is a book that simultaneously broke my heart and then put it back together again. I could tell this wasn't easy for the author nor her family, to have to relive some of these things and try to remember them to the best of their ability.
My only complaint was that there were quite a few things that were extremely repetitious when it wasn't needed. This did damper my enjoyment slightly because it felt like the author was trying to convince us she was telling the truth. As a memoir I expect everything to be truthful to the best of the writers knowledge. The fact it was written by Jessi herself and not someone unrelated to the family is enough in my opinion.
Overall I think this book is a must read, especially by people in the LGBTQIA+ community. Everyone comes from different walks of life, and this book might help someone that is having trouble. Whether that's coming out or being in a family that is dysfunctional. Either way I think it would help hundreds if not thousands of people.
I find it very hard to review memoirs, I feel like I am giving their life a star rating. This doesn't sit well with me so this review is about my reading experience and enjoyment of them telling their story.
This novel was very well written, and you can tell how much emotion went into writing it. This is a book that simultaneously broke my heart and then put it back together again. I could tell this wasn't easy for the author nor her family, to have to relive some of these things and try to remember them to the best of their ability.
My only complaint was that there were quite a few things that were extremely repetitious when it wasn't needed. This did damper my enjoyment slightly because it felt like the author was trying to convince us she was telling the truth. As a memoir I expect everything to be truthful to the best of the writers knowledge. The fact it was written by Jessi herself and not someone unrelated to the family is enough in my opinion.
Overall I think this book is a must read, especially by people in the LGBTQIA+ community. Everyone comes from different walks of life, and this book might help someone that is having trouble. Whether that's coming out or being in a family that is dysfunctional. Either way I think it would help hundreds if not thousands of people.
October 7, 2023
** BOOK REVIEW **
This book was really wonderful. A deep, introspective memoir, that, although written by one person, features a family as an ensemble cast of characters. Jessi was able to weave her own coming out story with that of her other family members — some who also came out as LGBTQ, and one, her mother, who finally revealed childhood trauma that left her scarred for life. Such a unique family journey ��� one daughter (the author) comes out as a lesbian, then the father comes out as gay, then the mother comes out as the victim of childhood trauma and mental illness, then a daughter comes out as bisexual, and the third and final “daughter” who is assigned female at birth transitions to a transman (and is referred to throughout the book only using the “he” pronoun, and with his new male name).
The book examines the concept of “coming out” as a broader experience. We all have secrets, hidden desires, unrevealed identities, and ways that we lie to ourselves and others. The book examines how each one of these family members fought their brave way to living their authentic, true selves, and in the process, actually became closer together after a lot of healing and reconciliation. Bravo!
And so cool to find out that Jessi and I are members of the same fantastic organization for adult children of LGBTQ parents, COLAGE. Loved making that connection!!
This book was really wonderful. A deep, introspective memoir, that, although written by one person, features a family as an ensemble cast of characters. Jessi was able to weave her own coming out story with that of her other family members — some who also came out as LGBTQ, and one, her mother, who finally revealed childhood trauma that left her scarred for life. Such a unique family journey ��� one daughter (the author) comes out as a lesbian, then the father comes out as gay, then the mother comes out as the victim of childhood trauma and mental illness, then a daughter comes out as bisexual, and the third and final “daughter” who is assigned female at birth transitions to a transman (and is referred to throughout the book only using the “he” pronoun, and with his new male name).
The book examines the concept of “coming out” as a broader experience. We all have secrets, hidden desires, unrevealed identities, and ways that we lie to ourselves and others. The book examines how each one of these family members fought their brave way to living their authentic, true selves, and in the process, actually became closer together after a lot of healing and reconciliation. Bravo!
And so cool to find out that Jessi and I are members of the same fantastic organization for adult children of LGBTQ parents, COLAGE. Loved making that connection!!
October 6, 2022
I’ve come to realize that I really don’t like giving memoirs star ratings - it feels kind of gross to rate someone’s life story that they were brave enough to share with the world.
That said, this was a well-written memoir about an entire family (mom, dad, and three kids) all finding their true identities. Hempel is a journalist and did a fantastic job structuring the story and sharing her family members’ perspectives as much as possible. I’m always a bit dubious of memoirists who have crystal-clear recollections of one-off conversations from third grade or whatever, so I appreciated that she revealed herself to be an early diary-keeper and admitted to shoddy/nonexistent memories of entire swathes of time. I’m the exact same age as Hempel, so thinking back to how different things were when we were in high school and college made her family’s bravery (especially her brother) to come out and live their lives as their authentic selves even more impressive.
This was a fascinating story about a complicated group of people who drift apart and back together as they individually and collectively redefine themselves as a family.
Highly recommend!
* thanks to @harperonebooks for the finished copy!
That said, this was a well-written memoir about an entire family (mom, dad, and three kids) all finding their true identities. Hempel is a journalist and did a fantastic job structuring the story and sharing her family members’ perspectives as much as possible. I’m always a bit dubious of memoirists who have crystal-clear recollections of one-off conversations from third grade or whatever, so I appreciated that she revealed herself to be an early diary-keeper and admitted to shoddy/nonexistent memories of entire swathes of time. I’m the exact same age as Hempel, so thinking back to how different things were when we were in high school and college made her family’s bravery (especially her brother) to come out and live their lives as their authentic selves even more impressive.
This was a fascinating story about a complicated group of people who drift apart and back together as they individually and collectively redefine themselves as a family.
Highly recommend!
* thanks to @harperonebooks for the finished copy!
Read
February 5, 2023I’m not sure what to rate this one. It is certainly an interesting and unique story/experience. I related to her relationship with her mom, and how her moms previous trauma affected how she parented. It was amazing to see how she was able to go to therapy and change her life.
It was inspiring to read about so many people who did the hard thing, blew up their lives, and turned it into something better.
However, I felt this story lacked depth. It was told at such a high level that it made it sound almost easy. I wish she went into the emotions and inner turmoil that I’m sure was there. They faced many hardships, yet it seemed like it all ended up as sunshine and rainbows for everyone. While I think it’s great if they all got their happy endings, I feel like it devalues the hard parts. I also found myself getting bored and starting to skim at certain parts and she attempted to recount it all.
It was inspiring to read about so many people who did the hard thing, blew up their lives, and turned it into something better.
However, I felt this story lacked depth. It was told at such a high level that it made it sound almost easy. I wish she went into the emotions and inner turmoil that I’m sure was there. They faced many hardships, yet it seemed like it all ended up as sunshine and rainbows for everyone. While I think it’s great if they all got their happy endings, I feel like it devalues the hard parts. I also found myself getting bored and starting to skim at certain parts and she attempted to recount it all.
December 26, 2022
I listened to this as an audiobook.
Content warnings: homophobia/transphobia as experienced by the author and her family members, mention of a serial killer.
This was kind of a sad read. This memoir not only has to do with the author's own coming out, but that of the rest of her family. What I found most heartbreaking was her father's story. We always like to believe we have come so far in acceptance these days, but let's not dismiss the many people in the LGBTQ+ community young and old that still have to deal with terrible people or hide a part of themselves just to stay safe. I hope one day we all will be.
There's not much else for me to talk about. It's about a family coming to terms with themselves and with each other.
Do I recommend? Yes, absolutely!
Content warnings: homophobia/transphobia as experienced by the author and her family members, mention of a serial killer.
This was kind of a sad read. This memoir not only has to do with the author's own coming out, but that of the rest of her family. What I found most heartbreaking was her father's story. We always like to believe we have come so far in acceptance these days, but let's not dismiss the many people in the LGBTQ+ community young and old that still have to deal with terrible people or hide a part of themselves just to stay safe. I hope one day we all will be.
There's not much else for me to talk about. It's about a family coming to terms with themselves and with each other.
Do I recommend? Yes, absolutely!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 226 reviews