Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Satsuma Complex

Rate this book
'My name is Gary. I’m a thirty-year-old legal assistant with a firm of solicitors in London. To describe me as anonymous would be unfair but to notice me other than in passing would be a rarity. I did make a good connection with a girl, but that blew up in my face and smacked my arse with a fish slice.'

Gary Thorn goes for a pint with a work acquaintance called Brendan. When Brendan leaves early, Gary meets a girl in the pub. He doesn’t catch her name, but falls for her anyway. When she suddenly disappears without saying goodbye, all Gary has to remember her by is the book she was reading: The Satsuma Complex. But when Brendan goes missing, Gary needs to track down the girl he now calls Satsuma to get some answers.

And so begins Gary’s quest, through the estates and pie shops of South London, to finally bring some love and excitement into his unremarkable life…

A page-turning story with a cast of unforgettable characters, The Satsuma Complex is the brilliantly funny first novel by bestselling author and comedian Bob Mortimer.

301 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 27, 2022

Loading interface...
Loading interface...

About the author

Bob Mortimer

11 books605 followers
Robert Renwick Mortimer is an English comedian, podcast presenter and actor. He is known for his work with Vic Reeves as part of their Vic and Bob comedy double act, and more recently the Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing series with comedian Paul Whitehouse. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Mor...]

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
7,665 (19%)
4 stars
15,402 (39%)
3 stars
12,604 (32%)
2 stars
2,942 (7%)
1 star
654 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,893 reviews
Profile Image for Maureen .
1,592 reviews7,004 followers
October 18, 2022
This is a review for the 2 chapter version of The Satsuma Complex.

Much loved comedian, actor and tv presenter Bob Mortimer, has now turned his talents to writing a mystery novel. Now just because he has a wonderful sense of humour and acting talents doesn’t automatically grace him with great literary abilities.

Initial thoughts? I found the humour a little forced, which is odd because I normally love Bob’s spontaneity, however it did finish with a need to know more, so after the 2 chapter taster I’ll reserve judgment for now, but would be keen to read more.

*Thanks to the publisher for this taster of The Satsuma Complex. I have given an honest unbiased review in exchange, bearing in mind that it isn’t the fully completed edition*
Profile Image for Iain.
Author 8 books94 followers
November 18, 2022
I generally avoid the celebrity author books, but TV and comedy legend Bob Mortimer seemed like one to try and I had high hopes. What a massive letdown. There are flashes of his trademark quirky and outlandish humour, but it soon falls flat. Nothing more than a standard crime novel, and not a very good one. The plot is simple and uneventful, the characters pretty unmemorable. Worse, the writing is flat and dull. Far too many profanities for no reason that dilute their impact, a weird obsession with toilet humour that isn't funny. Not good. Stick to TV, Bob. Leave the bland celebrity novels to Richard Osman.

Side note: many reviews and ratings of this book seem to be based on the publisher releasing only the first 2 chapters to reviewers ahead of publication. How anyone can provide a rating based on that I don't know, bit hopefully not the start of a worrying trend. Only review once you've seen the whole book.
Profile Image for Thibault Busschots.
Author 4 books160 followers
February 23, 2023
It’s a book written by British comedian and national treasure Bob Mortimer. Of course I wanted to read this. If you don’t know who Bob Mortimer is, go to YouTube. His “Would I Lie to You?” appearances are legendary and absolutely hilarious, no matter how many times you rewatch them. I mean, if you don’t have tears in your eyes from laughing when Bob claims that he does his own dentistry, then you’re doing it wrong.


Gary is a thirty year old legal assistant in London who goes out for a drink with a guy he knows from work. When the guy goes away, he doesn’t mind it at all. Because there’s a lady there who’s reading a curious book called The Satsuma Complex. He goes and strikes up a conversation with her. They talk for hours and he feels like he’s things are going well. But when he goes to order some drinks and comes back, she’s gone. But she’s left her book and it’s got a message from her on it, saying that he might be interested in reading it. He decides to take the book with him and goes home. The next morning, two police officers knock on his door. The guy he went out for a drink with was found dead. And the police officers think Gary was the last person to see him alive. So Gary goes out looking for the lady he just met, so she’ll be able to confirm his alibi.


Celebrities and good fiction books don’t always go hand in hand. Because celebrities don’t always need to write quality to sell a lot of books. Usually, their name value alone is enough to make a profit. And I wouldn’t necessarily say this book is the exception, but there are some things that do make this book worth reading. Bob Mortimer is a good storyteller. The premise of the story is definitely quite strong. The beginning of the story immediately grabbed me. And in terms of plot, it’s pretty good. But he’s just not a professional novel writer, and this can definitely be noticeable. Because somewhere in the middle of the story, I started losing interest a little bit. The story did a good job of trying to grab me again before I got to the end though. Bob Mortimer is also a good comedian. And there are definitely some snippets of comedy gold to be found in here. Like the brilliant addition of the talking squirrel. But, quite often, the comedy doesn’t hit home like it should.


Overall, a pretty solid dark and funny mystery read. Though you’ll probably enjoy it more if you’re already a Bob Mortimer fan.
Profile Image for Tash Webster.
29 reviews37 followers
November 16, 2022
A fun(ny) mystery. The high level of squirrel content is pleasing but I was expecting more satsumas.
Profile Image for Coco Day.
132 reviews2,601 followers
August 3, 2023
good, but not THAT good

funny, but not THAT funny

i don’t feel let down, i actually giggled a fair few times and thought the mystery was quite well organised :)
just not my favourite crime-comedy
Profile Image for Mandy White (mandylovestoread).
2,402 reviews690 followers
January 22, 2023
Oh Bob Mortimer, you funny, funny man! This book made me laugh out loud so much. I am a big fan of this silly man. His appearances on Would I Lie to You often making me cry in laughter. He is so funny, no matter what he turns his hand to. If you like British humor, you have to read this book. I was thrilled when I received an early copy from Simon and Schuster Australia in the mail. My husband grabbed it and started to read it straight away.

The Satsuma Complex is the story of Gary. He is a 30 something legal assistant. His best friend is his elderly neighbour, and he likes to talk to squirrels in the park. One night he agrees to meet a work colleague, Brendan, in the local pub for a drink. Shortly after they meet up, Brendan has to leave after a work call. Gary stays in the pub and gets talking to a girl who is sitting there reading a book called The Satsuma Complex. They get on really well, but she leaves without saying goodbye and he hasn't even got her name. So, she becomes Satsuma. The next day, he learns that Brandon has gone missing, and he tries to track Satsuma down to see if she saw or heard anything.

There is something for everyone here - missing people, murder, a love story and so many funny lines and plot twists. I highly recommend grabbing this book on January 4th and having a good laugh to start the new year. And check out Bob Mortimer on Would I Lie to You - you can thank me later.
January 22, 2023
‘At around 2am I made myself a hot Bovril for the avoidance of caffeine and to receive its meaty punch’.

Full of Bobisms*, I enjoyed The Satsuma Complex because of who its author is. Had this of been written by anyone else, I’d of probably thought it was a bit crap. 😂

*I claim ownership of this word.
Profile Image for Sam.
166 reviews3 followers
July 7, 2024
I love Bob, but there's no way this rubbish would have been published if not for his name on the cover.
Profile Image for Cherry Wallis.
13 reviews2,914 followers
April 13, 2024
I’ll hold my hands up and say I had no idea who Bob Mortimer was when I chose this book - turns out he’s a famous comedian. This book was a pleasant and at times funny easy read. It had me hooked because it was a detective “who dun it” plot… and I needed to find out the answers. There was also a slight romance in it. If you want just a quick easy read, I’d recommend it, but it sadly didn’t blow my socks off.
Profile Image for [ J o ].
1,962 reviews507 followers
August 28, 2023
I am a huge Bob Mortimer fan and have been since the heady days of Shooting Stars. I love listening to his tales on Would I Lie To You; enjoy watching him buffoon about on Gone Fishing and gurgle with delight at his impressions on Athletico Mince. I thoroughly enjoyed his auto-biography ...And Away and felt the same kind of joy I get when I hear his fantastic (and often true) tales.

Despite my reticence from reading some poor reviews, I really loved reading about Gary in The Satsuma Complex. The storyline was pretty much your average crime caper, nothing exemplary or outstanding, but a plot to follow and characters to learn more about: a very quick read and that's what I prefer when it comes to the crime genre. It was fast with some slow bits, nothing different to many other crime writers first novels. I liked Gary, probably because he was very Bob-like, with some tweaks. The first rule of writing is Write What You Know. And this kind of world is definitely what Bob would have known in his past life.

My main issue with the book was actually one of the characters. I never particular felt anything for Satsuma: I thought most of her problems were of her own making and no sympathy was directed her way, and thought she was pretty flat except when we were delving in to her schooldays. The ending I disliked a little and thought it all happened far too quickly, but felt it did provide a neat conclusion, if a little rough around the edges.

The writing style I enjoyed as it was very reminiscent of how Bob tells all of his tales anyway: short, sharp sentences that set the scene nicely without any fluffery. It was funny in the right places, but I think could have been injected with a little more (it was also particularly Bob-humour as well, which was well received).

No one is going to say he’s an excellent writer-least of all himself-but I could really hear his own voice coming through as if he were telling us of something that actually happened to him during his own time as a London-based solicitor. And perhaps it did...
Profile Image for Emma.catherine.
496 reviews32 followers
January 7, 2024
Enjoyable from start to finish! Easy 5 🌟 and I might go as far as saying it’s the funniest book I have ever read 😮 from drinking pee to parsnip trousers, you never know what to expect from Gary

I know Bob Mortimer is a comedian but this really was hilarious and I truly can’t get over what a fantastic job he has done on this funny first novel! It was so brilliant in fact, it’s actually made me want to look up his comedy because he obviously has my kind of sense of humour.

From the outset I loved the narrator Gary; his innocence was so endearing and he was also outrageously funny, you couldn’t help but love him. Bob also created many other great characters- Grace being one of my favourites. Grace is a little old lady living across the road from Gary. Both her and Gary have similar feelings on loneliness and end up bonding quite near the start of the book over coffee and Battenberg cake 😂 she quickly becomes Gary’s close companion, acting like a mother figure to him. She is yet another hilarious character and doesn’t mess around when it comes to putting Gary in his place! She whips him into gear for sure. Grace also has a lovely, yet incredibly dopey doggy called Lasso. Not gunna lie even the dog had me in fits of laughter 🤭

On the other hand, Emily (Satsuma girl) was giving me strange vibes throughout the book. I couldn’t decide if she was a goodie or a baddie…only the very last page will tell.

I was surprised at how strong the mystery plot was in this book. Particularly as the first 1/3 of the book was very lighthearted, soft and charming and then as the book went on the mystery just got deeper and deeper! And then the last 100 pages was an epic-fastpaced end! WOW! Bravo Bob 👏 You achieved one of the hardest things to do - a hilarious, warm hearted, murder mystery!
Profile Image for Nat K.
468 reviews181 followers
March 24, 2023
”To describe me as anonymous would be unfair, but to notice me other than in passing would be a rarity.

Gary Thorn is a legal clerk. He wears the same grey suit to work each day, and is often mistaken for a carpet salesman. He enjoys his job, as it’s a short walk from his Peckham flat to the office via a nice stroll in the park.

Gary likes to look around and really pay attention to stuff on his work “commute”. He’s definitely a people watcher, and he has no time to have his face in a mobile phone like most others around him.

”Some people bury their faces in their smart phones all day. Not me. I’ve had the same old Nokia phone for years and years and have never bothered with social media and the like. I don’t see the point of it; I’ve got enough strangers in my life as it is.”

Agreeing to meet Brendan, a work colleague after work, opens a can of worms that Gary could never have foreseen. Brendan leaves Gary unexpectedly after receiving a phone call, but not before leaving a corn cob shaped USB stick in Gary’s jacket pocket, along with a post it sticker with a jumble of numbers.

Gary’s not too fussed by Brendan’s behaviour, as Bren was always a bit of a jokester. Instead Gary focusses on a gorgeous brunette, Emily, sitting at the bar reading a book titled The Satsuma Complex (how clever is that!). Just when Gary thinks things are coming along nicely, he returns from buying another round of drink to find she has also unexpectedly left.

When the police arrive on Gary’s doorstep the next morning saying Brendan is missing and he was the last person to see him alive, the book takes all sorts of twists and turns. There’s a bit of a mystery, a bit of romance, and a bunch of insight in human beings and their behaviour.

There is some crazy humour, which is right up my alley. It’s very subtle and very British, and had me chuckling away, as Aussie humour is much the same with its dryness and sardonic manner.

The conversations that Gary has with a squirrel in the park amused no end. The two lads supporting each other through the highs and not so highs of being a bloke today.

There are dirty cops, a barista named Wayne who wears tight t-shirts to best show off his biceps and an eccentric neighbour Grace, and her dog Lassoo.

Will Gary ever meet the bookworm from the bar again? Will the dirty cops be brought to justice? Will Wayne be back behind his coffee machine serving the best coffee ever? Will Grace crack the password of the corn cob dongle? Will Lassoo ever finish a nap without falling off the couch?

This is a really slow burn, and I found the ending to be terrifically satisfying. So much so that I’d enjoy a Gary Thorn Part II. Or Gary and Emily. Or what Gary did next.

3.5 quirky stars ⭐

A thoroughly enjoyable oddball crime/mystery where the underdog gets his girl. You gotta love that.
Profile Image for Damo.
448 reviews50 followers
March 19, 2023
Gary works as a solicitor of little talent and has a thing for drinking in the pub and eating Battenburg cake. When necessary, he also seems to be able to glean words of advice and wisdom from the local squirrels who tend to show up in times when a good talking to is required.

While meeting a work colleague for a drink one night, his attention is taken by an attractive young woman who is sitting alone reading a copy of The Satsuma Complex. His friend suddenly leaves citing a work call and he strikes up a conversation with the girl, a conversation that carries on for hours. He’s smitten, but through all of their chatting, he never found out her name. Next thing he knows, she’s gone and he’s come to the realisation he’s fallen for her.

In the process of tracking the woman he comes to dub Satsuma, Gary finds himself stumbling his way into the midst of what appears to be a crime ring. The police who show up explaining that the bloke he was drinking with in the pub was later murdered and did he have an alibi for himself was the first in a series of events that mire him deeper and deeper into a bewildering mystery.

Bob Mortimer is a natural storyteller. You hear it in his comedy, the way in which he goes about telling his story is unique, filled with ever so slightly skewed reasoning plus the odd cheeky extra observation thrown in to knock you off kilter. And that’s the way The Satsuma Complex reads through the vaguely innocent eyes of Gary Thorn. You can be forgiven that there’s something not quite right about Gary, after all, he gets a lot of his inner monologue advice from the local squirrels but he is ultimately a well-meaning solicitor who’s just trying to get by.

I think the most satisfying parts of the story can be found in the friendship between Gary and his elderly neighbor, Grace, which develops into an easy, interdependence between the two. Her surprising technical expertise weaves neatly into the narrative and helps to kick the story along.

So, it’s no surprise that I’m a Bob Mortimer fan and have been appreciating his quirky style of humour for years now. So it’s not surprising that, while reading The Satsuma Complex, I could hear his voice every time his lead character, Gary Thorn, opened his mouth.

He had a crack at adding romance to the story, not particularly successfully but well enough to provide added crackle to the deepening danger. The crime portion of the story was slightly vague and, while not exactly difficult to follow, was poorly enough defined to act as a sort of sideline rather than the primary focus. It became all about the dongle.

If you’re looking for an entertaining, lighter escapade that combines whimsy with danger and a vaguely defined criminal enterprise, The Satsuma Complex fits the bill. It’s a quick read that shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It would probably also help if you were, like me, already a Bob Mortimer fan.
Profile Image for Jan.
202 reviews12 followers
December 2, 2023
Slightly below average height. big nose likable Gary befriends his elderly neighbor and her dog, finds his ladylove and loses her, gets in a jam with some bad guys, somehow gets entangled with a murder and talks to squirrels. Not what I was expecting but I sure did enjoy myself. Filled with that great brit wit that had me laughing on more than one occasion. I will admit there were a few times I had to go to the world wide web to clarify some food items and some other very British things, but hey, I learned stuff! Light read and not bad for a cover buy.
Profile Image for Cassie Moran.
15 reviews1 follower
February 8, 2023
What a fabulous book. A funny, quirky and compelling plot with so many great characters. Gary’s thought process and choice of words really made me laugh - it felt like stepping inside Bob Mortimer’s weird and wonderful mind.

I could easily have binged it but I was enjoying it so much that I restricted myself to savour it!

Is there anything Bob isn’t good at?!
Profile Image for Mira.
Author 1 book67 followers
January 9, 2023
A unique and charming detective story that made me grin throughout. I can imagine someone trying to turn it into a TV series with a CGI squirrel and I think it’d do really well. There are some profoundly sad moments and scary bits in the story which hangs around our cosy, shithouse of a hero Gary and the mysterious Emily with the Where’s Wally? bike. Try it, you won’t have experienced anything like it before.
Profile Image for Britany.
1,078 reviews468 followers
August 26, 2023
Gary Thorn is a middle aged guy (who talks to squirrels) and finds himself in the middle of a missing co-worker mystery. The police are inquiring and a private investigator firm is also on his trail. He immediately falls for a mysterious woman at the bar and he all he has from her is this book called the Clementine Complex. Add in a bunch of nosy neighbors and an adorable judgy dog and you have this odd caper.

This was such a weird book, I think I ultimately came to suspend belief and embraced it for what it was. So many plot points that were unbelievable, and the squirrels just pushed it over the edge for me. Quirky, yet forgettable.

Thank you to Book Club Favorites at Simon & Schuster for the free copy for review.
Profile Image for Sara.
1,302 reviews403 followers
January 11, 2023
I read and enjoyed Bob Mortimer's autobiography And Away... this time last year, and was looking forward to seeing how his writing could work in a fictional setting. Bob relies a lot on surreal humour, and I thought this might translate well into story form. However I just don't think it really worked. What I liked about And Away... was that Bob's humour is wrapped around stories grounded in reality. Yes sometimes his tales seem far fetched, but they always retained some normalcy. In The Satsuma Complex there's nothing stopping him from going into the absurd, and there's nothing to keep the plot from getting carried away with itself. Ultimately the plot veers from dull, with a writing style that feels too much like two mates chatting in a pub, to completely unrealistic.

Not for me.
Profile Image for Aly Warner.
55 reviews
October 17, 2022
I read this introduction to the novel in one sitting and despite there only being two chapters I laughed out loud a lot.
Narrated in the first person from the perspective of Gary, we meet his questionable friend Brendan, a quirky and mysterious eBay seller and reader if The Satsuma Complex and a squirrel.
Gary’s imagination, visual descriptions of people’s looks and attire and self depreciation are endearing from the start. Never have I read such hilarious commentary about prosaic day to day concerns including ‘my favourite urinal’ and imagining a dog called Lengthy Parsnips. There was a near miss of tea spitting following a guffaw regarding Gary’s blunt thoughts regarding the cover illustration of The Satsuma Project. Not an opinion I share!

I’m looking forward to reading the rest of this book as it’s a five star from what I have read so far.
Profile Image for Tracy Adair.
32 reviews1 follower
October 6, 2023
Toyed with a second star because I did laugh sometimes - occasional glimmers of dry humour.

I listened to the audiobook, which was listenable. I don't think I would have finished if I was actually reading. Not a very interesting plot and there were long, dull descriptions of everything that could possibly be described.
Profile Image for Tony.
564 reviews47 followers
January 8, 2023
Audio book.

Almost abandoned as Bob struggled with the narration initially, but I realised I had a bit of a silly grin on my face so persevered.

As mad as you’d expect a tale from Bob to be but so wonderfully silly. A nice tale all in all, thoroughly enjoyed it.
Profile Image for Uhtred.
312 reviews17 followers
May 27, 2024
Very nice!
A truly original book, written with a very captivating and ironic style. The author was able to write a "noir" book that intrigues you and pushes you to see how it ends, and at the same time creates an atmosphere of irony and humor that makes reading very pleasant. It's certainly not a masterpiece of literature, but at least it makes you have some fun hours and above all it doesn't need to put lies on the back cover to make you believe what it isn't.
In fact, if you take this book for what it is, that is, if you are not looking for a noir in the classic sense of the word, then all the characters take on a meaning that they otherwise wouldn't have. They are unlikely characters, of course, but the whole book has no desire to seem plausible and therefore the whole plot takes on that hint of surreality that I like so much. Then Gary, Grace, Emily and the other protagonists take on a very particular credibility within the plot, and everything returns to its place.
It's very British comedy, of course, and therefore not everyone likes it, but it's certainly intelligent, non-trivial comedy.
And Gary, the protagonist, is not banal either, even if he doesn't have any interesting characteristics: thirty years old, friendless, assistant at a dilapidated law firm, he dresses anonymously and lives alone in a squalid apartment. And his neighbor, Grace, a disheveled old lady like few others, is not banal. And what about Emily, the girl of the pub, who is also definitely strange?
I also talked about the writing style: I liked it because it's Gary and Emily, in almost alternating chapters, talking about themselves, their troubles, their failures and their dreams; it's certainly not a very original idea, but it's really well played here.
There is a corpse, ok, but in this very strange noir it is really the last thing that remains in the reader's mind. Three stars well deserved.
Profile Image for eyes.2c.
2,859 reviews91 followers
September 17, 2023
Murder and alibis!

A different cosy mystery read with some comic aspects thrown in. Pacing is a tad slow but wait for the punch lines. Gary Thorn is a fairly anonymous legal assistant who talks to squirrels. He's trying to trace the woman he’d bought a drink for at the pub. His ‘sort of’ mate Brendan ends up being murdered after leaving the place. Gary needs an alibi and he rather liked Clementine so he tries to find her. Life becomes a bit more dangerous than Gary had anticipated. There’s the rub!
As a comic murder read this was ok. Not a rave though.

A Gallery Books ARC via NetGalley.
Many thanks to the author and publisher.
(Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.)
Profile Image for Mark Bailey.
225 reviews34 followers
November 16, 2023
Loved Mortimer's autobiography And Away..., his recent Train Guy routine, and also his series Gone Fishing which is extremely therapeutic, hysterical and reflective.

The Satsuma Complex is another stroke of genius. It's a noirish crime novel with his trademark eccentric humour. It follows the unassuming legal assistant Gary Thorn as he becomes entangled in a serious criminal case.

Amidst all the chaos of domestic violence, gangs and racketeering is a love story and endearing tale of companionship with his lonely neighbour.

Couldn't put this down. Mortimer has a way of drawing you in - of magnifying the ordinary and completely inverting it.
Profile Image for Charles.
557 reviews105 followers
August 31, 2024
Comedic/noir-crime fiction crossover, in which hapless, legal assistant Gary Thorn becomes involved with the girlfriend of a Sociopathic PI involved with corrupt Met police officers. First book in a series.

description
Corruption, violence, and betrayal on the mean streets of Peckham.

My dead pixels version was 301 pages long. It had a UK 2022 copyright.

Bob Mortimer is a British: comedian, author, television presenter and actor. He has written four novels of fiction. This is the first novel in his Gary Thorn series. This is the first book I’ve read by the author.

I was lamenting to a mate about the lack of Humorous Brit Fiction in my life. Back in the day, it was a reading staple. I used to read stacks of: James Hawes, Nick Hornby, and Jonathan Coe. She told me, she’d been reading The Hotel Avocado , the latest by Bob Mortimer. Its the second comic novel in his Gary Thorn series. She also suggested that I dress like the protagonist—which I don’t.

Writing was good. It was likewise well-groomed. The Gallery UK publisher provided a good editor. I did not find any errors. Dialog was better than descriptive prose. Much of the dialog involved working-class, slang, in witty badinage. I had not heard “Fill your boots” in a long time. In two places, I laughed-out-loud. This is something I rarely do whilst reading. The descriptive prose was a bit vague, particularly around key plot elements. Moritmer lavished more and better words on making toast than being held at gunpoint.

There were two POVs, Gary and Emily. Gary was the protagonist. He’s a rather woeful, legal assistant going through the motions of life. He’s got a decent job, which requires little effort. He has a few mates that likewise require little effort. He hasn’t had a serious relationship in years. Gary's whole life was about minimal effort. Emily was a "mysterious woman", at least to Gary, for a large part of the story. She’s the live-in girlfriend of a controlling, man prone to violence. She’s unhappy with having to walk on eggshells for years, but too dependent on a very flawed man for her livelihood.

Gary and Emily have all been seen before in books and media. I'd be hesitant to call their relationship a "love story". It felt too one-sided for that.

One of the more amusing character in the story were the squirrels. Squirrels were Gary’s Alter Ego. At crucial points in the story, he communes with them. They gave him sagely advice, on what he ought to do. This was in counterpoint to what he does.

There were numerous other supporting characters, identifiable to crime fiction readers. There were: good coppers, bad coppers, gangsters, observant baristas, bad lawyers, peculiar elderly Englishmen, elderly hack0r confidents, etc.. There is a remarkably small cast of characters in the story.

Plotting was problematic. Gary eventually goes for a pint with a work acquaintance, who is a PI. His mate has to leave quickly. However, not before he plants The McGuffin, after which he’s promptly murdered, or not? Whilst finishing his paid-for pint, Gary meets The One. Is she a Femme Fatale, the woman of his dreams. or not? Coincidentally, shortly afterward, Gary becomes professionally involved in a different mate’s abuse by corrupt coppers. Could they all be related in this short novel? Finally, the author leaves the reader with a definite HFN ending. (Hence the “first book in a series” description.)

This story contained: sex, drugs, rock'n roll music and violence. Note my criteria for most noir-ish or hardboiled mystery success requires at least a trifecta from that list, along with pop culture references. In this case the pop culture references were British.

Consensual sex happened. However, it was only alluded to. Drugs used consisted of a few pints, and wine spritzers, but not consumed to intoxication. Rock ‘n roll references were a very banal mixture of old skool notables (Kings of the Leon, Steely Dan, Eminem, and Hot Chip) and the massively commercial (Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Taylor Swift etc.). They were there to elaborate the differences between Gary and Emily.

Violence was sporadic. It was: physical, and firearms. It should be noted that criminal firearm usage in metro-London is not as common as in The States' New York, Chicago or Los Angles. Violence was moderately graphic. Gary was very robust in his response to a serious pummeling. He was almost superhero-like?

The venues for the story were the SE London postcodes area, mostly in Peckham , and in Brighton. The author was charitable about Brighton. A mate of mine recently described it as “bare antique shops by the sea”.

A problem I had was that Moriter’s story had no characters of colour. All of his British characters were very English. He was also weak on his use of handguns. He had no familiarity with them. Morimer’s description of a loaf of bread was better than the three appearances of handguns in the story.

So, this was a novel of corruption, violence, and betrayal with a comedic spin. It was also a popcorn read.

In places, it was very funny. Moritmer is a good “story teller”.

A problem I had was, that telling a story is not the same as writing a novel. Mortimer’s whole novel was about putting his protagonist in cascading difficult, positions, each with a comedic spin. (That was the work of the squirrels.) Along the way, he’s always poking fun at the reader, and the English. And, that’s his shtick. However, his characters suffer for that. They’re very clichéd, only filled-in enough, to make them recognizable to get to the next punch line. In addition, his ending was very much a wanton act of serial fiction.

I have not decided about reading his The Hotel Avocado.

ADDENDUM: My mate gifted me her copy of The Hotel Avocado. Its on my TBR.
Profile Image for Richard.
1,987 reviews166 followers
October 17, 2022
Review based on the first two chapters only.

Would I read on - yes.

The writing is sharp and observational.
Based on the aspects of life many of us are too busy to notice.
Gary our narrator and gateway to this wonderful world he inhabits is unconventional, imaginative and quite worldly wise. His honesty and self-awareness means that we can feel safe in his world. He is a precious individual, guide and entertainer. I loved his outlook, understanding and vocabulary. It makes for a journey of fun, an adventure filled with insight, comic reasoning and zany encounters.

The writing is an extension of Bob Mortimer the comic performer. Nothing is laboured, the writing just flows and fills you with delight. Reaching your mind, spirit and very essence. Such humour isn’t everyone’s bag but I think there is enough promise in these first couple of chapters to bring enjoyment to all readers that pick up this original book.
Profile Image for Henry Hood.
86 reviews1 follower
July 22, 2023
Frustratingly, you can tell this was written by a famous comedian. It’s funny at times, but the writing itself is very very poor.

One of the most frustrating things about this book is how limited Mortimer’s descriptions are. It’s like he’s never been told ‘show, don’t tell’ and instead formulaically spends a paragraph explaining every detail of what someone, or somewhere looks like. And this is done for every. Single. Description.

Also have to say it’s obvious this book was written by a man, and an old one too. Some of Gary’s gazing descriptions of Emily are uncomfortable to read, and the whole text permeates with an outdated masculine voice.

At the very least, it was readable after the first 50 pages, and the plot pacing was good enough to let me churn through it quickly. And Bob Mortimer is still funny.
360 reviews2 followers
December 30, 2022
Man, but I love Bob Mortimer! This is a funny, sad, at times fairly predictable but nonetheless very entertaining crime novel with a good dollop of love and the inevitable Bob Mortimer absurdisms peppered throughout. I read it in one sitting and I did - of course - hear the narrator's voice as Bob himself. If you like Bob (and if you don't then I suggest you take a long, hard look at yourself), then you'll like this.
Profile Image for David.
Author 68 books1,243 followers
March 4, 2023
Lightweight fluff that would be instantly forgettable had it not been written by Bob. His surreal turns of phrase save the day and elevate the book from a 3 to a 4. Sorry, Bob. Wanted to like it so much more...
Profile Image for Girish.
1,015 reviews236 followers
November 8, 2022
"To describe me as anonymous would be unfair but to notice me other than in passing would be a rarity"


What do you expect when a comedian writes a murder mystery that has a man named Gary talking to squirrels and names dogs as Long Parsnips? Whatever you expect, the book beats that.

I picked Bob Mortimer's book because I've seen him spin fibs and yarns on a parlour show called Would I lie to you. (Did I mention his truths were more weirder than his lies?) The book pretty much follows that crazy narrative of an awkward guy trying to solve a mystery with some memorable people.

Bob drops in goofy stuff in an almost flattish sounding narrative. Sample ".. have never bothered with social media and the like.I don't see the point of it; I've got enough strangers in my life as it is". In serious parts - a cynical remark (like that of Marvin the robot) has you grinning. And yet, it was a plausible story that had it's highs. Also, the self deprecating meta was hilarious and not too overdone where different characters call the book in the novel "The Satsuma Complex" shit and boring.

Glad that the author has played it to his strengths rather than force fit a different genre. The story works as a quick read.

My slight bias not withstanding, one will surely like the warm mystery and it's characters.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,893 reviews

Join the discussion

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.