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I Feel Love: MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World
The unlikely story of how the psychedelic drug MDMA emerged from the shadows to the forefront of a medical revolution -- and the potential it may hold to help us thrive.
Few drugs in history have generated as much controversy as MDMA--or held as much promise. Once vilified as a Schedule I substance that would supposedly eat holes in users' brains, MDMA (also known as Molly or Ecstasy) is now being hailed as a therapeutic agent that could transform the field of mental health and outpace psilocybin and ketamine as the first psychedelic approved for widespread clinical use. In I Feel Love , science journalist Rachel Nuwer separates fact from fantasy, hope from hype, in the drug's contested history and still-evolving future. Evidence from scientific trials suggests MDMA, properly administered, can be startlingly effective at relieving the effects of trauma. Results from other studies point to its usefulness for individual and couples therapy; for treating depression, alcohol addiction, and eating disorders; and for cultivating personal growth. Yet scientists are still racing to discover how MDMA achieves these outcomes, a mystery that is taking them into the inner recesses of the brain and the deep history of evolution. With its power to dismantle psychological defenses and induce feelings of empathy, self-compassion, and love, MDMA may answer profound questions about how we became human, and how to heal our broken social bonds.
From cutting-edge labs to pulsing club floors to the intimacy of the therapist's couch, Nuwer guides readers through a cultural and scientific upheaval that is rewriting our understanding of our brains, our selves, and the space between.
Few drugs in history have generated as much controversy as MDMA--or held as much promise. Once vilified as a Schedule I substance that would supposedly eat holes in users' brains, MDMA (also known as Molly or Ecstasy) is now being hailed as a therapeutic agent that could transform the field of mental health and outpace psilocybin and ketamine as the first psychedelic approved for widespread clinical use. In I Feel Love , science journalist Rachel Nuwer separates fact from fantasy, hope from hype, in the drug's contested history and still-evolving future. Evidence from scientific trials suggests MDMA, properly administered, can be startlingly effective at relieving the effects of trauma. Results from other studies point to its usefulness for individual and couples therapy; for treating depression, alcohol addiction, and eating disorders; and for cultivating personal growth. Yet scientists are still racing to discover how MDMA achieves these outcomes, a mystery that is taking them into the inner recesses of the brain and the deep history of evolution. With its power to dismantle psychological defenses and induce feelings of empathy, self-compassion, and love, MDMA may answer profound questions about how we became human, and how to heal our broken social bonds.
From cutting-edge labs to pulsing club floors to the intimacy of the therapist's couch, Nuwer guides readers through a cultural and scientific upheaval that is rewriting our understanding of our brains, our selves, and the space between.
384 pages, Hardcover
Published June 6, 2023
About the author
Rachel Nuwer
2 books7 followersAlso see this author profile: Rachel Love Nuwer. She is the same person, but did not use her middle name on the cover off all her books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
July 21, 2023
This book was fantastic! So well written and well researched. I learned a TON from it. Nuwer really did her homework and presented all the information in an engaging, thorough, and thoughtful way. The book covered a lot of ground, I was surprised by what a huge timespan it covered. I don't feel like any information was missing or questions were left unanswered.
The research around MDMA is so intriguing and it's exciting to consider all the potential for good it has if our society chooses to make it accessible to more humans. It was also absolutely wild to learn about all the ways government has both 1) used it for malicious purposes in their own CIA and Army research and 2) suppressed research on it and done everything possible to criminalize it and keep it away from the people when it could help and heal so many.
The research around MDMA is so intriguing and it's exciting to consider all the potential for good it has if our society chooses to make it accessible to more humans. It was also absolutely wild to learn about all the ways government has both 1) used it for malicious purposes in their own CIA and Army research and 2) suppressed research on it and done everything possible to criminalize it and keep it away from the people when it could help and heal so many.
June 1, 2023
Some people might feel ashamed or embarrassed by the decisions of their youth. Fear is reasonable, as illicit drug use carries major penalties. Humiliation is also a side effect, as it might allude to vulnerabilities in our mental health and home life, or private struggles we prefer to remain hidden. Nevertheless, it’s clear that a culture shift is underway in the US, where curiosity and candidness are becoming more commonplace in the world of drug use. Humans have become so desperate for community, empathy, and acceptance that we are redefining the means by which we acquire them.
I Feel Love: MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World, by Rachel Nuwer, evangelizes the uses for MDMA in ways never before explored. The book discusses the science behind MDMA’s synthetization, its journey on the DEA’s list of banned substances, and its potential in revolutionizing therapy techniques.
We first learn the origins of MDMA, how it was synthesized in the labs of German pharmaceutical manufacturer, Merck, under questionable origins. Was MDMA the byproduct of a rivalry with Bayer in a race to develop blood clotting medication, or was its ancestry more sinister as part of Nazi Germany’s efforts at mind-control during the World Wars?
We next meet the cast of characters vigilantly championing the alternative uses of MDMA: eccentric scientists, psychologists, and psychiatrists who have joined forces to decriminalize MDMA in controlled settings. Each activist shares stories of recreational experimentation from their youths and how it molded both their careers and belief systems on banned substances. Some of these researchers are more aggressive with their methods and ideologies, some are more cautious, so whether you’re fully bought in on decriminalizing substances or you’re a bit more hesitant and just now exploring and deconstructing, there is a researcher and style for all readers. In these sections, we learn the difference between the experimentation associated with recreational drug use versus the fine-tuning of proper treatment doses. Personally, I’ve always looked at all drug use under a recreational lens due to my own ignorance, but these chapters respectfully expose the nuance we should account for in treatment settings.
If I were to hone in on a specific audience I Feel Love will most immediately impact, it’s undoubtedly individuals who are still processing their trauma or suffering from PTSD. This book is for people who feel even more lost after trying traditional forms of therapy to no avail, for the loved ones and support systems of people who actively are in therapy, and for people who have lost loved ones who couldn’t get the help they needed. Because trauma manifests in many forms, Nuwer introduces a wide spectrum of participants:
Naomi – a woman who came to America from a German displaced persons camp. Her Romanian mother and Hungarian father were Holocaust survivors whose grief permeated their home but was never openly discussed.
John – a man who witnessed the murder of his mother as he pretended to sleep in his childhood bed.
Lori – a former alcoholic and addict who discovered the bodies of her mother and the two women she killed in a love triangle gone wrong.
We met rape victims and war veterans, individuals exploring their gender and sexuality. The stories are significant and applicable; even if you have never personally struggled with trauma or PTSD, there’s a strong chance a loved one has. Reading these chapters with the goals of acceptance and lack of judgment are how we destigmatize trauma and provide adequate resources to those who need them, even if they don’t fit the past precedent of care.
Nuwer does an excellent job of empowering the stories she included when all too often the trend is victimhood. She masterfully toes the line of sympathy and empathy: none of these individuals want pity, they simply desire their trauma and grief to be recognized and respected. It’s hard enough to admit we need help, it’s harder still to admit when something that worked for most doesn’t work for all. Traditional forms of therapy were insufficient, and the vulnerability to try new methods enshrouded in controversy is courageous. My hope is that these stories set a new standard in care and expand the reach of non-traditional therapy.
While it undoubtedly supports the flow of her MDMA foundation-building and storytelling, it’s not until the last pages of the chapter “Destigmatization” that Nuwer addresses intersectionality within the drug culture and the stigmatic spotlight minorities face. Sure, the conversation of max incarceration goes well-beyond MDMA; however, these arguments, as well as the broader banned substance community, are fully enmeshed in one another. The mentioning of higher incarceration rates for minorities and longer sentences for non-violent drug offenses comes a bit too late for my personal preference. While Nuwer does a fantastic job of building up to this well-documented statistic, I find it hard for true destigmatization to occur if it’s not disruptive and uncomfortable to the overall story.
I Feel Love is the counterargument argument the War on Drugs needs. It is scientifically-backed, well-researched, and thought-provoking. As someone who has been challenging her biases since uncovering the broader realm of drug use, I Feel Love has disrupted my entire world view. I’d argue it has made a strong case for deeper progressive research versus restrictive legislation. Individual suffering is both personal and unique. MDMA-based therapy gives hopeless individuals the ability to address their past head-on and move forward with healthier behaviors and coping strategies.
I Feel Love is set to be published on July 6th, 2023. Thank you to Bloomsbury Publishing for sending me an advanced reader copy, and best of luck to Rachel Nuwer on the success of an empathetic, fantastically researched body of work.
I Feel Love: MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World, by Rachel Nuwer, evangelizes the uses for MDMA in ways never before explored. The book discusses the science behind MDMA’s synthetization, its journey on the DEA’s list of banned substances, and its potential in revolutionizing therapy techniques.
We first learn the origins of MDMA, how it was synthesized in the labs of German pharmaceutical manufacturer, Merck, under questionable origins. Was MDMA the byproduct of a rivalry with Bayer in a race to develop blood clotting medication, or was its ancestry more sinister as part of Nazi Germany’s efforts at mind-control during the World Wars?
We next meet the cast of characters vigilantly championing the alternative uses of MDMA: eccentric scientists, psychologists, and psychiatrists who have joined forces to decriminalize MDMA in controlled settings. Each activist shares stories of recreational experimentation from their youths and how it molded both their careers and belief systems on banned substances. Some of these researchers are more aggressive with their methods and ideologies, some are more cautious, so whether you’re fully bought in on decriminalizing substances or you’re a bit more hesitant and just now exploring and deconstructing, there is a researcher and style for all readers. In these sections, we learn the difference between the experimentation associated with recreational drug use versus the fine-tuning of proper treatment doses. Personally, I’ve always looked at all drug use under a recreational lens due to my own ignorance, but these chapters respectfully expose the nuance we should account for in treatment settings.
If I were to hone in on a specific audience I Feel Love will most immediately impact, it’s undoubtedly individuals who are still processing their trauma or suffering from PTSD. This book is for people who feel even more lost after trying traditional forms of therapy to no avail, for the loved ones and support systems of people who actively are in therapy, and for people who have lost loved ones who couldn’t get the help they needed. Because trauma manifests in many forms, Nuwer introduces a wide spectrum of participants:
Naomi – a woman who came to America from a German displaced persons camp. Her Romanian mother and Hungarian father were Holocaust survivors whose grief permeated their home but was never openly discussed.
John – a man who witnessed the murder of his mother as he pretended to sleep in his childhood bed.
Lori – a former alcoholic and addict who discovered the bodies of her mother and the two women she killed in a love triangle gone wrong.
We met rape victims and war veterans, individuals exploring their gender and sexuality. The stories are significant and applicable; even if you have never personally struggled with trauma or PTSD, there’s a strong chance a loved one has. Reading these chapters with the goals of acceptance and lack of judgment are how we destigmatize trauma and provide adequate resources to those who need them, even if they don’t fit the past precedent of care.
Nuwer does an excellent job of empowering the stories she included when all too often the trend is victimhood. She masterfully toes the line of sympathy and empathy: none of these individuals want pity, they simply desire their trauma and grief to be recognized and respected. It’s hard enough to admit we need help, it’s harder still to admit when something that worked for most doesn’t work for all. Traditional forms of therapy were insufficient, and the vulnerability to try new methods enshrouded in controversy is courageous. My hope is that these stories set a new standard in care and expand the reach of non-traditional therapy.
While it undoubtedly supports the flow of her MDMA foundation-building and storytelling, it’s not until the last pages of the chapter “Destigmatization” that Nuwer addresses intersectionality within the drug culture and the stigmatic spotlight minorities face. Sure, the conversation of max incarceration goes well-beyond MDMA; however, these arguments, as well as the broader banned substance community, are fully enmeshed in one another. The mentioning of higher incarceration rates for minorities and longer sentences for non-violent drug offenses comes a bit too late for my personal preference. While Nuwer does a fantastic job of building up to this well-documented statistic, I find it hard for true destigmatization to occur if it’s not disruptive and uncomfortable to the overall story.
I Feel Love is the counterargument argument the War on Drugs needs. It is scientifically-backed, well-researched, and thought-provoking. As someone who has been challenging her biases since uncovering the broader realm of drug use, I Feel Love has disrupted my entire world view. I’d argue it has made a strong case for deeper progressive research versus restrictive legislation. Individual suffering is both personal and unique. MDMA-based therapy gives hopeless individuals the ability to address their past head-on and move forward with healthier behaviors and coping strategies.
I Feel Love is set to be published on July 6th, 2023. Thank you to Bloomsbury Publishing for sending me an advanced reader copy, and best of luck to Rachel Nuwer on the success of an empathetic, fantastically researched body of work.
March 22, 2024
I am fairly unclear on who this book is aimed at. I was looking for some Pollan-esque reportage, but that's not what this is. This has elements of popsci reportage as well as elements of magazine-level random interviews with people who have done the drug. I enjoyed parts of this book, but the discursive personal anecdotes really detracted from the science for me. Nuwer's writing style is meandering and full of extraneous detail. I learned some things. I remain unsurprised at governmental asshattery around any sort of drugs.
The worst thing about the experience for me was the incredibly lousy narration. Someone needed to proof-listen, as the narrator continually mispronounces, mis-speaks, and generally blunders around multisyllabic words in a way that was painful to my ear. Very nearly caused me to bail out, it was so bad.
I am eager to read a scientific or pop-sci book about MDMA. This was not it.
The worst thing about the experience for me was the incredibly lousy narration. Someone needed to proof-listen, as the narrator continually mispronounces, mis-speaks, and generally blunders around multisyllabic words in a way that was painful to my ear. Very nearly caused me to bail out, it was so bad.
I am eager to read a scientific or pop-sci book about MDMA. This was not it.
August 16, 2023
This was a beautiful, educational, and inspirational read. Nuwer lucidly recounts the history of MDMA and describes in vivid detail and through touching human testimony the compound's impact upon individual lives and within the broader culture. Her book helps to discredit some of the harmful Drug War-era lies that have long circulated around MDMA, while also shining a light on some of its clinical benefits. Nuwer does not urge reckless, hedonistic use of MDMA (or any other drug) in her book; rather, she stresses the importance of set, setting, and safety. I highly recommend this read for anyone who's concerned about mental health, trauma, and drug policy.
October 7, 2023
I really loved this book. I got it from a new friend who seems to be beautifully open-minded while approaching middle age. That's my favourite kind of feature in humans, definitely: getting more flexible with age.
I wrote a book about drugs, addiction (to name a few themes) and the good life and though it was published a year ago I'm not still through with the subject. Because drugs are such a profound thing, it's never about the substance but about so much more. Good and bad. It's about transcendence, a new pathway in the brain, a fresh angle and about connection. It's truly about living. Deeply in our DNA as humans, always was there, way before civilisations. And at the same time it's about trauma, our horrible society and the times we live in and such. Or addiction is, actually.
I did MDMA first around ten years ago. It opened a new dimension. It played a major role in my life for a few years in mostly positive ways. I made such deep connections with people, saw the world as a loving place full of opportunities and possibilities, it felt like a vast playground and it was so clear that it was about people I met. All is about people. And it was like a curtain was pulled off. I felt more like myself, it was easier to be me and not to feel shame, to meet new people and to just drop the feeling of "that person doesn't like me" to "we all want the best for each other", it stayed with me.
I really felt love. So many times. With friends, strangers and lovers.
And music. Something about music while on MDMA.
Music, hugging and kissing.
To me the best thing is that I remember everything so well. The nights, my behaviour and the feeling. I have access to it once it has ended. I always have the time we kissed with M while Tiny Dancer was playing, when I saw Kavinsky with A, when I saw Mos Def by myself, when we made love with J and other J and third J and when I've just walked from one place to another with friends m, having an electric conversation.
And somehow... always when I've taken MDMA something magical has happened. Something unexpected, nice, sweet. I've met interesting persons, they've come up to me to introduce themselves. It really feels like the universe is doing some kinds of tricks.
This was a great study with a lot of testimonials. To be taken with a grain of salt, of course. But I really do agree with mostly everything in this book. This chemical won't save the world, but I really would recommend it to anyone who is looking to see the world in a new way. And as with other psychedelics, you musn't do it all the time. Do it once, twice or thrice, with friends at a party or at a festival. You'll remember it forever – the feeling of love.
I wrote a book about drugs, addiction (to name a few themes) and the good life and though it was published a year ago I'm not still through with the subject. Because drugs are such a profound thing, it's never about the substance but about so much more. Good and bad. It's about transcendence, a new pathway in the brain, a fresh angle and about connection. It's truly about living. Deeply in our DNA as humans, always was there, way before civilisations. And at the same time it's about trauma, our horrible society and the times we live in and such. Or addiction is, actually.
I did MDMA first around ten years ago. It opened a new dimension. It played a major role in my life for a few years in mostly positive ways. I made such deep connections with people, saw the world as a loving place full of opportunities and possibilities, it felt like a vast playground and it was so clear that it was about people I met. All is about people. And it was like a curtain was pulled off. I felt more like myself, it was easier to be me and not to feel shame, to meet new people and to just drop the feeling of "that person doesn't like me" to "we all want the best for each other", it stayed with me.
I really felt love. So many times. With friends, strangers and lovers.
And music. Something about music while on MDMA.
Music, hugging and kissing.
To me the best thing is that I remember everything so well. The nights, my behaviour and the feeling. I have access to it once it has ended. I always have the time we kissed with M while Tiny Dancer was playing, when I saw Kavinsky with A, when I saw Mos Def by myself, when we made love with J and other J and third J and when I've just walked from one place to another with friends m, having an electric conversation.
And somehow... always when I've taken MDMA something magical has happened. Something unexpected, nice, sweet. I've met interesting persons, they've come up to me to introduce themselves. It really feels like the universe is doing some kinds of tricks.
This was a great study with a lot of testimonials. To be taken with a grain of salt, of course. But I really do agree with mostly everything in this book. This chemical won't save the world, but I really would recommend it to anyone who is looking to see the world in a new way. And as with other psychedelics, you musn't do it all the time. Do it once, twice or thrice, with friends at a party or at a festival. You'll remember it forever – the feeling of love.
August 18, 2023
A must-read for anyone interested in psychedelics, psychiatry, or the mind generally. I FEEL LOVE seamlessly weaves the colorful history of MDMA and its diverse cast of characters with the latest scientific findings for a story that's equal parts entertaining and educational.
The writing is warm and accessible, with a dry sense of humor, and the author's depth of research is impressive: dozens of scientists, doctors, patients, recreational users, proponents, skeptics, chemists and even DEA agents are interviewed. Whereas the MDMA episode of the TV adaptation of "How To Change Your Mind" left me intrigued but also feeling like I had just watched an infomercial, I FEEL LOVE's more comprehensive and scientifically grounded approach--the limits and potential pitfalls of MDMA assisted therapy are not taken lightly--adds significant credibility to its enthusiasm for MDMA's potential.
The writing is warm and accessible, with a dry sense of humor, and the author's depth of research is impressive: dozens of scientists, doctors, patients, recreational users, proponents, skeptics, chemists and even DEA agents are interviewed. Whereas the MDMA episode of the TV adaptation of "How To Change Your Mind" left me intrigued but also feeling like I had just watched an infomercial, I FEEL LOVE's more comprehensive and scientifically grounded approach--the limits and potential pitfalls of MDMA assisted therapy are not taken lightly--adds significant credibility to its enthusiasm for MDMA's potential.
August 31, 2023
I fucking love Rachel Nuwer’s writing and reporting
January 20, 2024
Put it on your 2024 reading list
June 11, 2023
Such an insightful dive into the therapeutic use of MDMA. Admittedly, this is a topic that I knew very little about, so I appreciated that Nuwer provided specific examples of it working, as well as used layman terms throughout so I was easily able to understand. I recommend this book for anyone who is interested in therapeutic psychedelics, as well as those, like myself, who are interested in the constantly changing world of therapy.
August 27, 2023
This book is wonderful. Folks who enjoy psychedelics and those who don’t can’t argue with the central premise of the research and history highlighted within: MDMA has and will continue to make people feel connected to themselves and others in a way we can’t quite access without it. I loved this book and want everyone to read it to continue to demystify psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and the beauty and importance of responsible recreational drug use.
January 1, 2024
Very well researched, informative, and hopeful.
June 6, 2023
Appreciated the history, storytelling and personal additions made by this author as a way to educate and connect the readers to the topic - MDMA. Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s drug policy was meant to scare, and I (and my parents/teachers/peers) presumed it was based on good science. I am grateful for books like these that take the time to explain the science and history in such a thoughtful way. I am inspired by this book and the possibility that if we approach therapy, policy, diagnosis that have seemed untreatable or without paths forward (PTSD and Autism, for example) drugs with curiosity it is possible that we might not only find connection but healing.
December 3, 2023
Rachel does a great job showcasing the opportunities for MDMA in this book. She not only showcases the research and studies that were done before it became illegal, but also shares the experiences of people since then who have used it in a variety of settings. I think Rachel does a great job addressing concerns in studies that are opposed to MDMA.
Rachels spends a good section of the book talking about trauma. My biggest takeaway is trauma looks different to different people and occurs irrespective of socio economic status. This is definitely a book I will be talking about for a long time.
Rachels spends a good section of the book talking about trauma. My biggest takeaway is trauma looks different to different people and occurs irrespective of socio economic status. This is definitely a book I will be talking about for a long time.
February 12, 2024
Well-written and researched, the story is wild and at times infuriating: subpar science + political agenda = unnecessary federal classification of a drug that no one is addicted to while turning a blind eye to oxycontin and the subsequent opiate crisis we're dealing with today. No, MDMA does not cause brain damage, that was the shoddy science using methamphetamine, not MDMA. Instead, psychedelic therapy is helping the worst of trauma patients heal, while giving recreational users a boost in interconnectivity and rejection of society's ugliness that's tearing us apart.
May 26, 2024
A well-written history of the use and research of MDMA. Learned a lot reading this book and am very intrigued by the directions of psychedelic research within the field of mental health. This book also offered compelling evidence about the dangers of drug prohibition (broadly) and the potential afforded by decriminalization and legalization, including regulated drug use to decrease unnecessary fatalities. I remain wary, however, of any substance being framed as societal panacea; this book carefully toes the line on this perspective. While the author certainly favors its use to promote insight and connection with oneself, others, and the world, she importantly unpacks concerns, such as overdose and the unintended possibility of fortifying connection among members of hate groups (e.g., white nationalists reinforcing their perspectives after taking MDMA together).
August 19, 2024
If you want to learn more about MDMA, really learn about all aspects of it, from when it’s been discovered, its history and how it’s being used today in therapy this is the book for you.
It is a very well researched book full of additional resources if you want to know more about studies, therapy, safe use and more.
If I had read this at 20 years old I think I would have changed my career into psychology. Grateful for the author for putting together such comprehensive research and finally providing the world with a reliable source of truth, demystifying so many myths about this substance.
It is a very well researched book full of additional resources if you want to know more about studies, therapy, safe use and more.
If I had read this at 20 years old I think I would have changed my career into psychology. Grateful for the author for putting together such comprehensive research and finally providing the world with a reliable source of truth, demystifying so many myths about this substance.
August 6, 2023
I just finished and…. Wow….. this book puts into words so many of the thoughts I’ve had- the entirety of your book - is like chocolate, hugs, love itself….
The scientific research really led me to understand the importance of intention- it has changed the game for me recently- highly recommend!🙏
The scientific research really led me to understand the importance of intention- it has changed the game for me recently- highly recommend!🙏
July 1, 2024
Great reading! I heard about this book while listening to the episode ‘The therapeutic potential of MDMA’ of The Vox’s The Gray Area podcast. I have been wanting to learn more about MDMA and this book seemed to be a must-read…and I was right! It is very well-researched and written. I didn’t search for other books on the topic, but this one seems to be the most comprehensive one, touching on the history, regulation, prohibition, effects, social aspect, etc.!
November 16, 2023
Definitely one of my favourite reads of the year. Deserves the same recognition as How To Change Your Mind. Wish I could get everyone I know to read this book (doubtful- since I gave my copy of HTCYM to at least 3 family members who didn’t even open a page!)
August 24, 2024
Incredible book detailing MDMA’s fraught history and its demonization, as well as its massive potential when used in tandem with therapy. 9.1/10
March 8, 2024
So so fascinating. No surprise it was a Scientific American Best Book of 2023. Loved this deep dive into all of the complexities that surround this drug, especially as someone in the pharma industry.
July 30, 2024
Amazingly well researched and written with great love. I've been reading it for over a year, simply because I didn't want it to be over in four hours.
January 28, 2024
I Feel Love for this book. Highly recommend if you're a curious noob like me.
February 20, 2024
One of the best book about the subject. It tells the story of the molecule since the beginning and it’s full of valuable information.
Definitely recommended either you are an experienced psychonaut or just curious.
Definitely recommended either you are an experienced psychonaut or just curious.
August 29, 2023
Well done! Rachel does a great job shinning the light of the sun on this wonderful molecule!
June 15, 2023
This book was tremendously informative and engaging. I loved several of the author's choices as to what to include and how to deliver the information. Every chapter felt important, and she took great pains to show multiple perspectives on each topic - even the perspectives that were unpleasant to consider.
I liked the close-up look at what science looks like when it's studying something new and, since we're dealing with the mind, emotions, etc, inherently subjective. Especially given all the legal and financial constraints, it definitely inspires/demands creativity.
I also liked the ample references to non-American countries' paths for comparison. Seeing the more progressive ones gives me hope for the cause. I also appreciated the nod to the autistic community as, yeah, this seems particularly useful there.
It's a thorough investigation into MDMA, including its history, its present, and some ideas as to where to go from here. Highly recommended.
I liked the close-up look at what science looks like when it's studying something new and, since we're dealing with the mind, emotions, etc, inherently subjective. Especially given all the legal and financial constraints, it definitely inspires/demands creativity.
I also liked the ample references to non-American countries' paths for comparison. Seeing the more progressive ones gives me hope for the cause. I also appreciated the nod to the autistic community as, yeah, this seems particularly useful there.
It's a thorough investigation into MDMA, including its history, its present, and some ideas as to where to go from here. Highly recommended.
October 25, 2023
You have to wonder about the conversations of grandparents who experienced the "psychodelic revolution", and their grandchildren, who amy well be partaking in the "psychodelic renassiance". Maybe it's the Thanksgiving or Christmas conversation we need. Given the sweeping reforms of marijuana decriminalziation, and legalization, the burgeoning use of drugs like psilocybin, ketamine, and MDMA in a theupetic setting seems like the next needed correction.
Rachel Nuwer's wonderful "I Feel Love" examines the 50 year fight of MDMA between researchers, government regulations and the culture surrounding the drug. Like Michael Pollan's barnbuner "How to Change Your Mind" (p.2018), where he examines psychodelics with data-driven research, thoughtful writing and personal narratives, Nuwer brings the story of MDMA from the shadows of labs and late night warehouses. As Pollan said in an interview with Sam Harris, it's hard to think of another field of research that underwent a massive freeze out for half a century, is now having a genuine resurgence (https://www.samharris.org/podcasts/ma...).
Initially created in a German pharmaeuctical lab (Merck) in 1912, and thought to be a blood clotting medication, the drug has largely been dormant until the 1960s movement to liberate consciousness and end the American involvmenet in the Vietnam war. MDMA's novelty as a love drug, due to the release of neurotransmitter oxycotin during the reaction, it's use quickly moved from the beakers to the bathrooms. From nightlife club in Berlin, to DJ summits in Ibiza, the swanky Starck night club in Dallas and Chicago's gay black nightclub scene (p.87), the drug became a vehcile toward recreational experiences and pleasure. Despite it's classification as a Schedule I drug, largely based off misleading research, the drug is finally getting the appropriate reframing.
One of the evident themes of the book is that MDMA therapy has succeeded where traditional SSRIs and even cogntivie-behaviroal therapy has failed. We look into the stories of individuals with moral injury, trauma based wounds, or debiliating disesaes - and the pathway of MDMA and therapeutic integregation toward recovery. Nuwer explores the social learning circuit, the plasticity of our brains, which is activated and resetting with psychodelic therapy. We see how researchers and therapists have largely worked on the edge of legality, or even beyond it, knowing the healing aspects of therapy and MDMA. This is very much a story of science and intrepid researchers like Rick Doblin whose commitment to education and healing practices brought new respect for the drug.
Although there is great promise with MDMA and other psychodelics, there is no illusion that a pill can solve the global problems we face. Nuwer writes "“Something is wrong about celebrating the psychodelic renaissance while a hundred thousnad a year are dying from fatal overdoses, largely from fenatal. (p.279). Medicine and Poison share the same root greek word. And we do look at cases of those harmed by practioners or documented neglect with minority communities. But knowing these pitfalls, there is also the awareness that our world is need of healing. Social isolation and fragmentation from the pandemic, social media or global conflict drive the pain.
Still we stand with opportuntiy of great promise. For those of us looking to build a world that is sustainable, fair and at peace, we are going to build upon empathy. Real empathy. And there is a case here that psychodelic can open the floodgates to our mass alienation. For therapy, for recreation, for connection , for sexual gratification - MDMA offers a balm toward meeting these needs.
All and all, a really terrific book. Easy to read. Provocative ideas around therapy and growth. Well researched and investigative.
Rachel Nuwer's wonderful "I Feel Love" examines the 50 year fight of MDMA between researchers, government regulations and the culture surrounding the drug. Like Michael Pollan's barnbuner "How to Change Your Mind" (p.2018), where he examines psychodelics with data-driven research, thoughtful writing and personal narratives, Nuwer brings the story of MDMA from the shadows of labs and late night warehouses. As Pollan said in an interview with Sam Harris, it's hard to think of another field of research that underwent a massive freeze out for half a century, is now having a genuine resurgence (https://www.samharris.org/podcasts/ma...).
Initially created in a German pharmaeuctical lab (Merck) in 1912, and thought to be a blood clotting medication, the drug has largely been dormant until the 1960s movement to liberate consciousness and end the American involvmenet in the Vietnam war. MDMA's novelty as a love drug, due to the release of neurotransmitter oxycotin during the reaction, it's use quickly moved from the beakers to the bathrooms. From nightlife club in Berlin, to DJ summits in Ibiza, the swanky Starck night club in Dallas and Chicago's gay black nightclub scene (p.87), the drug became a vehcile toward recreational experiences and pleasure. Despite it's classification as a Schedule I drug, largely based off misleading research, the drug is finally getting the appropriate reframing.
One of the evident themes of the book is that MDMA therapy has succeeded where traditional SSRIs and even cogntivie-behaviroal therapy has failed. We look into the stories of individuals with moral injury, trauma based wounds, or debiliating disesaes - and the pathway of MDMA and therapeutic integregation toward recovery. Nuwer explores the social learning circuit, the plasticity of our brains, which is activated and resetting with psychodelic therapy. We see how researchers and therapists have largely worked on the edge of legality, or even beyond it, knowing the healing aspects of therapy and MDMA. This is very much a story of science and intrepid researchers like Rick Doblin whose commitment to education and healing practices brought new respect for the drug.
Although there is great promise with MDMA and other psychodelics, there is no illusion that a pill can solve the global problems we face. Nuwer writes "“Something is wrong about celebrating the psychodelic renaissance while a hundred thousnad a year are dying from fatal overdoses, largely from fenatal. (p.279). Medicine and Poison share the same root greek word. And we do look at cases of those harmed by practioners or documented neglect with minority communities. But knowing these pitfalls, there is also the awareness that our world is need of healing. Social isolation and fragmentation from the pandemic, social media or global conflict drive the pain.
Still we stand with opportuntiy of great promise. For those of us looking to build a world that is sustainable, fair and at peace, we are going to build upon empathy. Real empathy. And there is a case here that psychodelic can open the floodgates to our mass alienation. For therapy, for recreation, for connection , for sexual gratification - MDMA offers a balm toward meeting these needs.
All and all, a really terrific book. Easy to read. Provocative ideas around therapy and growth. Well researched and investigative.
April 10, 2023
I Feel Love: MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World, by Rachel Nuwer, is both a wonderful book on the science of MDMA (and hallucinogens in general) as well as a very interesting read on people's interactions with each other (both real and speculative).
First, the science. In discussing the science it is valuable to include the history as well, since politics played a big role in how slow we have been to start unleashing the potential medical benefits of MDMA (and other substances). The early experiences were largely recreational in nature but from those experiences came ideas on how it might be useful, in a controlled setting, for numerous ailments.
The science segues nicely into the interpersonal aspect, since many of the medical benefits stem from the tendency of MDMA to allow people to be less anxious and more compassionate and understanding. One thing that this book does do for someone like myself is substantiate some of the comments I used to make way back when I was periodically using psychedelics. I would tell people that it helped me to see the world as a much more connected place, see people as far more similar and likable than different and scary, which also helped me to appreciate the differences as just that, differences, and not something threatening. People used to say I was just rationalizing my enjoyment, and since I could only speak to my own experiences, I acknowledged that as a possibility. Maybe I was doing some rationalizing, but I apparently was also expressing something many others also felt.
Neither MDMA nor any other substance, or belief system for that matter, will cure all of society's ills on their own. But these can be part of an approach to living together that makes the world better for, if not all, the vast majority. At the very least, MDMA can and should be legal for the treatment of some conditions.
This book will appeal to those who like to read about possible medical treatments as well as those who simply want to know more about a substance they either have used or, conversely, bought into the hyperbole about how harmful it is.
Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via NetGalley.
First, the science. In discussing the science it is valuable to include the history as well, since politics played a big role in how slow we have been to start unleashing the potential medical benefits of MDMA (and other substances). The early experiences were largely recreational in nature but from those experiences came ideas on how it might be useful, in a controlled setting, for numerous ailments.
The science segues nicely into the interpersonal aspect, since many of the medical benefits stem from the tendency of MDMA to allow people to be less anxious and more compassionate and understanding. One thing that this book does do for someone like myself is substantiate some of the comments I used to make way back when I was periodically using psychedelics. I would tell people that it helped me to see the world as a much more connected place, see people as far more similar and likable than different and scary, which also helped me to appreciate the differences as just that, differences, and not something threatening. People used to say I was just rationalizing my enjoyment, and since I could only speak to my own experiences, I acknowledged that as a possibility. Maybe I was doing some rationalizing, but I apparently was also expressing something many others also felt.
Neither MDMA nor any other substance, or belief system for that matter, will cure all of society's ills on their own. But these can be part of an approach to living together that makes the world better for, if not all, the vast majority. At the very least, MDMA can and should be legal for the treatment of some conditions.
This book will appeal to those who like to read about possible medical treatments as well as those who simply want to know more about a substance they either have used or, conversely, bought into the hyperbole about how harmful it is.
Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via NetGalley.
April 27, 2024
I Feel Love is not how I would describe my feelings about this book. Frankly, it leaves a lot to be desired. If you aren’t a massive illegal drug nerd I doubt you’ll be willing to sit through the entire thing. The first roughly third of this overly long book is dedicated entirely to the history of MDMA. As with the rest of the book, she goes into excruciating detail on every fact about the history of it, regardless of whether or not it’s interesting. Some of it is interesting, most of it not so much. The next 2/3 of the book are dedicated to trying to convince you that MDMA can be used as a medicine. Yes, are you convinced yet? Bravo to the small portion of the audience who came in not already believing that but she’s really preaching to the choir for the majority of her readers. She rarely if ever talks about recreational use in the book, more as a footnote despite the fact that her first encounter with MDMA and what inspired her to write the book was a recreational use scenario. It’s fairly clear she believes it should be legalized recreationally but it’s a tiny fraction of time spent talking about its medical use. As for her beliefs about other drugs, this is intentionally left unclear (save for psychedelics which share her beliefs with MDMA). The problem is that this book tries to be the definitive book on MDMA but just fails to properly account for the vast majority of its usage (recreationally). Imagine writing a book about cocaine and talking about its uses as a numbing agent for 4/5ths of it. That’s what it feels like Nuwer has done here. The book is overall too long, about a third or more of it could be chopped off and the book would only be left better off. She doesn’t have the skills of a Jon Ronson to just ramble and storytell and still be endlessly entertaining. I came out with some neat fun facts and a far better understanding of the neurotoxicity claims of MDMA and that’s about it.
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