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How to Care for a Human Girl

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From “a writer at the top of her game” ( The New York Times ) comes a bighearted and sharply funny debut novel about two estranged sisters and the crossroads they face after becoming unexpectedly pregnant at the same time.

Two years after the death of their mother, Jada and Maddy Battle both navigate unplanned pregnancies. Jada, a thirty-one-year-old psychology PhD student living in Pittsburgh, quietly obtains an abortion without telling her husband, but the secret causes turmoil in her already shaky marriage. Back home in rural Pennsylvania, nineteen-year-old Maddy, who spends her time caring for birds at a wildlife rehabilitation center, is paid off by the man who got her pregnant to get an abortion. But an unsettling visit to a crisis pregnancy center adds to her doubts about whether to go through with it.

Although Maddy still hasn’t forgiven Jada for a terrible betrayal, she goes to her for support, only to discover the cracks in the façade of her sister’s seemingly perfect life. As their past resentments boil over, the sisters must navigate the consequences of their choices and determine how best to care for themselves and each other.

With luminous prose and laser-sharp psychological insight, How to Care for a Human Girl is a compassionate and unforgettable examination of the complexities of choice, the special intimacy of sisterhood, and the bizarre ways our heated political moment manifests in daily life.

352 pages, Hardcover

First published August 8, 2023

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About the author

Ashley Wurzbacher

2 books87 followers
Ashley Wurzbacher is the author of the novel HOW TO CARE FOR A HUMAN GIRL and the short story collection HAPPY LIKE THIS, which won the 2019 Iowa Short Fiction Award and was named a National Book Foundation 5 Under 35 honoree and a New York Times Editors' Choice. Born and raised in Western Pennsylvania, she currently lives in Birmingham, Alabama. Learn more at ashleywurzbacher.com.

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5 stars
66 (16%)
4 stars
120 (30%)
3 stars
144 (36%)
2 stars
55 (13%)
1 star
12 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
Profile Image for Shelley's Book Nook.
320 reviews574 followers
July 16, 2023
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2.5 Stars

This story is told from two points of view. We have Jada and Maddy they are sisters who each find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. The book is about how each sister makes a different choice regarding their situation. There are also two timelines in the story...the present 2018 and the past 2016, just before their mother's death from cancer and Jada recently engaged to her now husband Blake.

The whole time I was reading this I kept asking "Why can't we say the word abortion?" Why the need to use terms like "TAKE CARE OF IT"? It boggles my mind that there is still so much stigma in this day and age. Is it because it means we had sex? And why doesn't the man get embarrassed if his sexual partner has one?

The research data parts were so boring, it was just too clinical for my liking. I wanted emotions, anger, sadness, grief, terror. I wanted to feel something for the characters but they were just blah, and the story is very character driven...which surprised me given the plot and subject matter. The characters were just horrible people who lacked any real depth and I hated them both. I know the book is supposed to be about choices but it just dragged so much, I felt very little while reading it and it did not take sides (I guess that was the author's goal).

The sister's different points of view come across well and I liked when the sisters are having a discussion and one says to the other "You didn't even have an excuse!" That is typical in today's society, so much judgment. By the way, YOU DO NOT NEED AN EXCUSE TO WANT AN ABORTION EXCEPT THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PREGNANT. I am not pro-abortion, I am pro-choice as in a woman's right to choose what is right for her. I am all for the other sister's right to choose to have and keep her baby (like I did at 17) but we women are ultimately alone in this decision as it is we who have to live with the repercussions. One thing I really liked and appreciated the most was that the book is not told in a judgy way and I respect that.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the Advance Readers Copy.
Profile Image for Tyler McCall.
50 reviews140 followers
July 8, 2023
A gorgeous reflection on womanhood and sisterhood, with so many sentences laser-targeted at the things currently occupying my mind that I wondered if it wasn’t pulled from my brain.
Profile Image for Colleen Earle.
921 reviews63 followers
March 24, 2023
Thanks to Atria Books and Netgalley for allowing me to read this book ahead of its release in return for an honest review.

This book hit so many marks for me and I really enjoyed it. I loved the pacing and how it flips back and forth from the present and the past.

This book follows two sisters, Jada and Maddy, through their unexpected pregnancies and what they do about it. They are both in vastly different places in their life. Jada is married to a man who was the safe choice and is attempting to figure out whether marriage was the right decision for her; and Maddy is in her early twenties and recently dumped. The book looks at their difficult shared past, the death of their mother, and whether their new circumstances can bring the two together again.

Although there is a lot in this book that is highly stressful, Wurzbacher presents it in such a kind and meandering way that it’s almost understated. I think this style really helps the book. There is also just the right amount of interpersonal drama.

I really like how we get to see things from both sisters perspectives. This really helps to move the plot along and gives you a better understanding of what’s going on.

Overall this is a really lovely book. There’s a lot in it that really does it for me, but I would say that this isn’t a book for everyone.
Profile Image for Kathryn.
444 reviews9 followers
July 3, 2023
Not every author can pull off writing "unlikable" protagonists, and this book just doesn't have enough emotional depth for me to be able to sympathize with how terrible the protagonist is. And, my goodness, where was the editor? These characters' thoughts go on and on and on, but not in an interesting way nor did it help me understand the sisters any better. Just an overall bad reading experience. 1.5 stars.
Profile Image for Shannon.
5,992 reviews341 followers
August 10, 2023
I loved this debut SOOOOO so much! Layered and so intelligent, this story follows two sisters, one who gets accidentally pregnant and the other who is decidedly child-free by choice. Told in alternating POVs, the book explores their complicated relationship, what it means to want to be a mother, questions of abortion and adoption, women's rights and so much more. My review truly can't do this book justice but it will be a standout for me this year and I loved it on audio too! Highly recommended!!

CW: abortion, sexual abuse of a minor, infidelity
Profile Image for Crystal Palmisano-Dillard.
518 reviews13 followers
August 6, 2023
Maddy was an unexpected addition to her family. A late in life pregnancy for her mom and not all together welcomed by her big sister Jada. When their mother is diagnosed with cancer and later dies, each is set off in their own tailspin.

To Maddy’s eye, Jada has it all. Degrees, a husband, a nice home, money. Everything Maddy thinks she wants.

But Jada is hiding from her husband in literal closets and still drawn to her past.

Maddy is searching for belonging in men, religion, wherever she thinks she might find it and making not so great decisions along the way.

What they really need is each other, as they eventually discover.

Lots of real life messiness, grief, and love.

Thanks to NetGalley for the arc!
Profile Image for Kelsey (keliterate).
138 reviews141 followers
March 20, 2024
Oh my god, this was gorgeous and sensitive and empathetic and everything I needed. I need everyone to talk about this.

Long review to follow 💫
Profile Image for Jessica Stilling.
Author 8 books13 followers
December 3, 2023
This book is VERY, very, very anti-choice and pro-forced birth and the scary thing is, it pretends not to be, and maybe it even thinks it isn't, but anytime a pregnancy resource center successfully convinces a young girl to have a baby when she's seeking an abortion, says everything about this book (and about its author) we need to hear. In the year Roe V. Wade was overturned, this book stands with those who overturned it, not with women...like at all.
This novel follows sisters, Jada and Maddy as they navigate their lives after unplanned pregnancies. The biggest issue I have with this book is that the author thinks that she can justify ending her novel with a very young girl who gets pregnant by a man who she is not in love with, completely upending (and ending) her young life, after she visits a pregnancy resource center, because her older sister has an off screen and barely mentioned again abortion early in the book. Sorry Ashley, this book is anti-woman and anti-choice and it was published in a year when women need a voice, not to be told that they should surrender their lives to a pregnancy resource center.
Jada, a married women in a PHD program and a stable marriage, has an abortion. It happens off screen and is rarely dealt with other than as a tool for high drama later on. So it really feels more like a headline than as something substantial to be explored in the book. Nineteen year old Maddy, who got pregnant by a rising political star, decides to keep her baby and much of the story is about Maddy coming to this decision. We also see Jada leave her husband and explore that world. While I like the idea of a woman leaving a perfect guy after he's done nothing wrong because, hey, that's a complicated thing people do, the author did not make me understand WHY she was leaving and so she just seemed entitled and spoiled in her decision most of the time. Then of course, there’s a guy from her past, a Townie (who is of course super, super hot and totally into her for like no reason other than that she's a character in a novel), who she very quickly begins a relationship with. It felt forced and contrived and not like a genuine romantic relationship. The scenes with Jada and Maddy’s mother as she’s dying of cancer, are compelling and do spell out a nice relationship, but they are not enough.
Choices are a big theme, not only because of the abortion issues, but also because Jada is studying choices in her PHD program. I honestly felt like with Jada’s studies and abortion being such an important theme, that the theme of choices would be more pronounced or better integrated. But it’s not really integrated well or interestingly. The theme of abortion is strong in this book as well. As for that, I don’t think this book does nearly enough, or anything, to come down on a side, nor does it make any case for NOT taking a side. And honestly, the fact that this book refused to take a side, it really felt like the issue of abortion was used more for points than used to actually explore these complicated issues. In the world we live in today, to not take a side is taking a side.
This book was not brave.
Profile Image for Stacy40pages.
1,710 reviews238 followers
February 8, 2023
How to Care for a Human Girl by Ashley Wurzbacher. Thanks to @atriabooks for the gifted Arc ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Two estranged sisters make different decisions when they both become pregnant. When they find themselves living together, they must navigate their choices and care for each other.

I love books about sisters, especially when there’s some dysfunction and history. I liked how this on led the reader on a bit to find out more. It was a slow read at times and character driven. I liked when the two sisters came together and their experiences apart, and together.

“She was a tiny atom, she was a sprawling galaxy. She was made of stars.”

How to Care for a Human Girl comes out 8/8.
September 20, 2023
Incredible story! I wasn’t sure what to expect as the book came to a close, but was assured I was in good hands— Ashley Wurzbacher is crafty as hell and I swear she never wrote a cliché. The dialogue between Maddy & Jada and Jada & Blake and Maddy & Jason and again between Jada & Drew is flawless. The rhythm and flow is prize worthy. Way to go, AW.
Profile Image for Amy Madden.
146 reviews5 followers
April 25, 2023
Two sisters, similar circumstances, two totally different paths of life being lived. This book really struck a chord (in a good way) with me. The writing was really captivating. The author is so descriptive and beautifully captures the emotions of the two sisters. I really loved the way the author intertwined studies with feelings, as I tend to nerd out on those kinds of things. I also really resonated with growing up in a family whose beliefs you independently outgrow.

That being said, this book won’t be for everyone. It kind of bummed me out at how short it was, as I would have loved to see more character development. I also at times was unsure if the author was trying to push a political/social agenda of some sort. The end had me very confused because I thought for sure I’d figure out where they were going with that, but it definitely leaves you questioning.

Thanks to NetGalley/Atria Books for an ARC of this book!!
807 reviews28 followers
June 18, 2024
3 1/2 stars

This book is a character study of two sisters, one significantly older than the other. I had high hopes for this book, but it let me down. I found it to be a plodding and ponderous tale, and all I wanted was for everyone to get out of their heads, to stop telling me what they were thinking. Instead, I wanted them to show me some genuine interactions. This eventually happened in the last few chapters of the book, but by then, it was too little, too late.

I also found the religious aspect of this book annoying. It revolves around abortion and the Christian charlatanism found in some abortion clinics and churches. The book looks at the different approaches to abortion the two sisters take, one to proceed with the procedure, and one to carry the child. At the end of the book, it’s still not clear if the child will be kept or put up for adoption.

How to Care for a Human Girl also touches on other sensitive topics such as: divorce, sexual predators, cancer and the toll it takes on both the sufferer and their family. There’s parental death and grief, marital discord, environmental pollution and the effects of chemicals left behind on human health. It’s a lot packed into the book, and the various subjects don’t always fit what’s happening.

I had trouble relating to the characters. They didn’t seem believable or realistic, rather flat, as if they were acting in a play and not doing a good job of it. I can deal with the two sisters being so different, but neither was likable. Jada was both too academic, always mentally quoting research studies, and too flighty, willingly walking away from her marriage without even talking with her very good and caring, if entitled, husband. She also walked away from her mother, so she wouldn’t need to deal with her mother’s illness. Maddy was very much a self-involved teenager who suffered from her mother’s illness and death, but was constantly willing to ignore the advice of those who loved her and felt like she knew everything better than anyone. Yet, she also felt like she could break all the rules and walk away unscathed.

I really disliked the religious aspect of the book. There was no indication in the synopsis of it being so religiously focused. I could have dealt with a small amount of religion, but the middle of the book is heavily concentrated on both good and bad aspects of Christianity.

I enjoyed the wildlife aspects of the book. I didn’t really buy into Maddy being giving so much responsibility at the wildlife rescue center, but I still found that part of the book more believable than many of the others.

I received an advanced reader copy of this book in a Goodreads giveaway. I thank all involved for their generosity, but it had no effect on this review. All opinions in this review reflect my true and honest reactions to reading this book.
Profile Image for megan.
158 reviews4 followers
August 27, 2023
“You are all these things at once, not shedding your skins but wearing them in layers. You are all the people you’ve ever been, always.”

gah T_T

i don’t have a sister but i really loved reading this. what it means to be a mother, what it means to be a good person, what it means to be someone’s spouse, what it means to just live your life for yourself and not feel as if your actions are directed by people in your life/society/whatever. that’s what this book tackles. and i appreciated it. i appreciated that the author acknowledges that there’s no right answer. it’s okay to turn to religion or academic validation or other people or whatever to help guide you as long as it’s YOUR choice. sure, there’s an abortion debate ongoing in this book, but the author is very good at critiquing BOTH sides and inviting the reader to evaluate their best interests in approaching that topic and others.
Profile Image for Kamryn.
284 reviews40 followers
September 6, 2023
I really enjoyed this one. I found myself highlighting a ton, lots of phrases and ideas truly resonating with me. While I’ve (thankfully) never had to face an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy, I loved this reflection on woman/mother/sisterhood and all the layers of choice within it.

The description and setting was vivid. Some other reviewers have complained about Jada, the one narrator, being too far in her own head. It didn’t bother me. Jada and Maddy both felt real to me and I was surprised by how “relatable” they felt even with stark differences between their situations and mine. Jada especially—but what can I say, I’m a big sister/eldest daughter.

Trigger warnings:
Profile Image for Kelli Hewitt.
152 reviews
April 1, 2024
This is a story told, in alternating chapters, by two sisters, 10 years apart in age still reeling from their mother’s lengthy cancer battle and heartbreaking death. Both in completely different stages of life and both dealing with pregnancies and all the choices, emotions, decisions, and outcomes that are part of it. Jada and Maddy are both self aware, extremely analytical, and reflective on their past, their present, and their future in such a way that you can honestly feel how they’re feeling. This is a story about pregnancy, abortion, choices; right wrong and in between, marriage, risks, love and family. It’s also about 2 sisters healing and starting their relationship over after such a devastating loss. Really liked this. 4⭐️
Profile Image for Jordan Prescott .
2 reviews2 followers
January 12, 2024
I do not agree with the politics that I feel like are insisted in this book as I am very pro life...and though at times difficult to read for me...I thought it was a 5 star novel. I like the different perspectives and the deep mind travel of the characters. This is a very raw tribute to womanhood, motherhood and sisterhood. With my own childhood being everything but vanilla and having to deal with shares of grief, I felt like I understood these characters and how grief and suffering can work in different ways inside of different people. I am an Omnist, but I loved the suggestions on the Virgin Mary and open-mind writing pertaining to religion in this book.
97 reviews1 follower
April 30, 2024
I am very consfused by the reviews of this book claiming it shows a pro-life perspective overall, claiming that Jada's nice guy husband is "perfect" etc. Just because these characters make complex choices and the book is not overly moralizing does not imply any of that. The book clearly shows why Maddy feels the way she does, clearly illustrates the hypocrisy of the pro life movement, etc. Real life is nuanced and complicated so so are the experiences of these characters.

There is a tiny smidge of essentialism that I get the vibes of from this book but overall I really felt for these characters and I think the author did a beautiful job of interweaving the various motifs and themes.
Profile Image for Devin.
10 reviews1 follower
May 6, 2024
I received this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for my honest review. I’m very surprised this novel doesn’t have a higher rating because I found it to be a really touching story and easily relatable. It deals with the complex feelings that surround the death of a parent, pregnancy, divorce and sibling relationships. The different perspectives of how each sibling viewed their mother and the different versions they each received of her, was eye opening. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review such a beautifully written book!
Profile Image for Colleen Pegher.
48 reviews
March 24, 2024
1. A small thing, but I loved the spot on Pittsburgh references throughout
2. Really explored some in-depth emotions and experiences, complicated family dynamics, and societal pressures on women to marry, stay married and have children
3. I thought the characters were complex in that neither were really likable, nor were they unlikeable. They were just… complicated.
4. It lost one star because it did start somewhat slowly for me.
Profile Image for Summer.
32 reviews
July 28, 2024
“she may not have chosen Maddy, but she can choose to love her. Each day, with agency, she can make this choice”
Ugh this was so good? Like there are so many choices in our lives - especially a woman’s life - that I hadn’t even thought about at first. An interest look into sisterhood, womanhood, and choices. I also love that it takes place in PA 🫶🏻
Profile Image for Dieuwke.
Author 1 book9 followers
September 1, 2024
Solidly good book, plotwise, details, theme
It also feels like I understand the USA a little bit better maybe? (the right to abortion not being debated here where I live)
I was in a book selling spree and I’m glad I still decided (after having it on my wish list for as long as I known it would be published) to order a copy at the local bookstore.
3 reviews
July 25, 2023
Beautifully written tale of sisters, motherhood, and impossible decisions. Told in dual narrative (I love that format!), the story begins with two women's news of unexpected pregnancies. Don't be fooled by the relationship and sisterhood themes- this is NOT a romance. The author's exquisite prose, along with references to modern politics and scientific studies, keep this novel strictly in the Literary Fiction category. A compelling narrative on sisterhood and humanity, I look forward to more from this author! Thanks to Atria Books and Goodreads for the ARC.
Profile Image for Kristen Becraft.
112 reviews1 follower
July 15, 2023
This was my third GoodReads giveaway book, and I enjoyed this one the most. It covers a lot of deep issues, but at heart it is a story of sisterhood.
71 reviews2 followers
February 11, 2024
This story was incredibly neutral on the issue of abortion and pro choice human rights. She doesn’t sugar coat either view. I appreciated her very real depiction of Pennsylvania's people and places. The POV of liberal and right wing maga groups were stunningly accurate. How the story stayed middle lane (veering slightly left) was brilliant. For me, this was an authentic portrayal of two sisters trying to navigate life while struggling to find answers to issues that affect women and families. It is not a preachy narrative. The brilliance of this story is that the reader is left to make their own choice about right or wrong- good or bad. Leaving the reader to contemplate both sides was done with finesse and may have been Ashley Wurzbacher’s deliberate motive. Regardless, that is what will linger in my mind about How To Care For A Human Girl.
Profile Image for Melissa Jackson.
134 reviews2 followers
August 16, 2023
Maddy and Jada, two sisters who find themselves pregnant simultaneously, struggle with their own decisions regarding whether or not to keep their baby. With Jada obtaining an abortion without her husband’s knowledge and her sister planning an abortion as well, both sisters eventually come together and try to repair the damage that had initially caused them to grow apart.

Wurzbacher beautifully wrote this novel, and even though I loved everything about it, I sometimes found it too wordy. While the backstory tended to overshadow the current struggles the characters were facing, it lent some insight into their fractured relationships. It helped build a foundation that allowed the story to grow and move in the direction intended.

Overall an outstanding and insightful read. The perspective of both characters in different stations in their lives and the stereotypes that come with youth or the traditional and stable married couple was intriguing.

The publisher provided ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Ainslie Vitale.
14 reviews
July 8, 2023
I won this book on Goodreads. I really struggled with this one. When I think about the storyline of the two sisters and handling unexpected pregnancies in different ways, I feel like I would like it.

The writing was very descriptive but I feel like it didn’t add value to the story- sometimes I would try to figure out what was the point of writing that.

With how much descriptive details I would think there would be more character development. There are many times I don’t agree with choices characters make, but still form an attachment and are able to empathize. These character I did not feel any type of connection.

Overall the idea of the storyline was fine, but the execution was lacking.
Profile Image for Carly.
5 reviews
December 11, 2023
I loved this book. I feel as if it was written beautifully; it was intelligent and the writing was scholarly without becoming overwhelming. Although it is hard to ‘like’ some of the characters, it was easy for me to find myself in both Jada and Maddy. Gaining sympathy for them was easy. The cover of the book itself is beautiful, and I cannot wait to display it on my bookshelf. As someone from the Deep South, the depiction of the town the characters were from was very accurate. As someone who is also Pro-Choice, this book was insightful as it examines both sides of the choice that many feel they have to make when discovering pregnancy without advocating for one of the other. Altogether, I really enjoyed this book and do recommend it, as I do not give 5 star ratings often:)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews

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