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All Over the Map
What's a wise, witty travel writer to do when she reaches forty and is still single? Wander the globe searching for romance and adventure, of course.
On a trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, to celebrate her fortieth birthday, Laura Fraser confronts the unique trajectory of her life. Divorced and childless in her thirties, she found solace in the wanderlust that had always directed her heart—and found love and comfort in the arms of a dashing Frenchman. Their Italian affair brought her back to herself—but now she wonders if her passion for travel (and for short-lived romantic rendezvous) has deprived her of what she secretly wants most from a husband, a family, a home.
When her Parisian lover meets her in Oaxaca and gives her news that he’s found someone new, Laura is stunned and hurt. Now, it seems, she has nothing but her own independence for company—and, at forty, a lot more wrinkles on her face and fewer years of fertility. How is Laura going to reconcile what seem to be two opposite for adventure, travel, great food, and new experiences, but also a place to call home—and a loving pair of arms to greet her there?
And so, she globe hops. What else is a travel writer to do? From Argentina to Peru, Naples to Paris, she basks in the glow of new cultures and local delicacies, always on the lookout for the “one” who might become a lifelong companion. But when a terrible incident occurs while she’s on assignment in the South Pacific, Laura suddenly finds herself more aware of her vulnerability and becomes afraid of traveling. It seems as if she might lose the very thing that has given her so much pleasure in her life, not to mention the career she has built for herself as a world traveler and chronicler of far-flung places.
Finding herself again will be both more difficult and more natural than she imagined. Ultimately, Laura realizes the most important journey she must take is an internal one. And the tale of how she reaches that place will captivate every woman who has ever yearned for a different life.
On a trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, to celebrate her fortieth birthday, Laura Fraser confronts the unique trajectory of her life. Divorced and childless in her thirties, she found solace in the wanderlust that had always directed her heart—and found love and comfort in the arms of a dashing Frenchman. Their Italian affair brought her back to herself—but now she wonders if her passion for travel (and for short-lived romantic rendezvous) has deprived her of what she secretly wants most from a husband, a family, a home.
When her Parisian lover meets her in Oaxaca and gives her news that he’s found someone new, Laura is stunned and hurt. Now, it seems, she has nothing but her own independence for company—and, at forty, a lot more wrinkles on her face and fewer years of fertility. How is Laura going to reconcile what seem to be two opposite for adventure, travel, great food, and new experiences, but also a place to call home—and a loving pair of arms to greet her there?
And so, she globe hops. What else is a travel writer to do? From Argentina to Peru, Naples to Paris, she basks in the glow of new cultures and local delicacies, always on the lookout for the “one” who might become a lifelong companion. But when a terrible incident occurs while she’s on assignment in the South Pacific, Laura suddenly finds herself more aware of her vulnerability and becomes afraid of traveling. It seems as if she might lose the very thing that has given her so much pleasure in her life, not to mention the career she has built for herself as a world traveler and chronicler of far-flung places.
Finding herself again will be both more difficult and more natural than she imagined. Ultimately, Laura realizes the most important journey she must take is an internal one. And the tale of how she reaches that place will captivate every woman who has ever yearned for a different life.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
About the author
Laura Fraser
21 books89 followersI am a long-time journalist and San Franciscan who loves travel and books. I'm the author of the NYT-bestselling memoir An Italian Affair, and its sequel, All Over the Map. I also wrote a book about the diet industry, Losing It. I am the co-founder and editorial director of Shebooks.net, which publishes short, top-shelf ebooks by women. My own Shebook, The Risotto Guru, is all about eating in Italy.
I'm passionate about reading, and have kept a list of all the books I've read since I was about ten, which you can find on my website: http://www.laurafraser.com/booklists/. I teach and coach writing, particularly memoir and personal essay.
I'm passionate about reading, and have kept a list of all the books I've read since I was about ten, which you can find on my website: http://www.laurafraser.com/booklists/. I teach and coach writing, particularly memoir and personal essay.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 210 reviews
July 13, 2010
I enjoyed reading All Over the Map. It is written in the first person and is an autobiographical telling of a woman’s life after her divorce. She had a dream of finding a good man to marry, children, a house and a career that lets her travel. She already had the wonderful career but it didn’t seem like enough. She desperately wanted a man to have all attributes on her list. She felt that time was running out that the children she wanted so much may never be born. At the beginning of the book, I grew tired of her complaining and kept saying “Grow up” under my breath. But she actually did some major growing up and it was a great joy to read about that happening. What this book is to me is like a friend coming over to enjoy a great meal and a very long talk. .
She describes what she ate with such great detail that it makes you want to stop everything and put together a mouth watering feast. Also, I love her description of the places that she went during that period of her life. Her descriptions of the Samoan beaches, the scenery and the local people in the towns and cities of Italy and Mexico were so real that you could imagine being there. But most of all, I appreciated her honesty in telling about her relationships with men, even the most difficult times.
I would recommend this book to every woman who has ever been “dumped”, gone through divorce or would like to learn more about how to approach life in a more positive viewpoint. It should be required reading for all those women who have long lists of what their husband should be like too!
She describes what she ate with such great detail that it makes you want to stop everything and put together a mouth watering feast. Also, I love her description of the places that she went during that period of her life. Her descriptions of the Samoan beaches, the scenery and the local people in the towns and cities of Italy and Mexico were so real that you could imagine being there. But most of all, I appreciated her honesty in telling about her relationships with men, even the most difficult times.
I would recommend this book to every woman who has ever been “dumped”, gone through divorce or would like to learn more about how to approach life in a more positive viewpoint. It should be required reading for all those women who have long lists of what their husband should be like too!
August 3, 2021
A wonderful tale about coming to terms with the choices we make along the way and living life to its fullest. Fraser may have traveled the whole world living her dream career as a travel writer, but she longs for the quiet stability of a family life in a place she can call home. Throughout her journey, she learns to view her life in a different light and appreciate the richness of the fruits of her decisions.
As a fellow woman writer approaching midlife, I know from experience I cannot have it all at the same time. Having a family requires sacrifices most single people cannot appreciate, especially when those choices demand self-sacrifice for the benefit of children with special needs or a spouse who desperately wants to pursue a dream. On the other hand, Fraser may sacrifice the stability and security of a husband and children, but she gets to enjoy a spontaneous life full of travel and writing. I know if Fraser was living in my circumstances she would feel incomplete, dissatisfied, frustrated, and restless as a mother of an autistic child who only functioned in a rigid routine, could not fly in an airplane, and could not adapt to other cultural experiences.
Fraser understands the universe gives us what we need, not what we want. She has written a great, thoughtful read that will get you thinking about your own life in a new way.
As a fellow woman writer approaching midlife, I know from experience I cannot have it all at the same time. Having a family requires sacrifices most single people cannot appreciate, especially when those choices demand self-sacrifice for the benefit of children with special needs or a spouse who desperately wants to pursue a dream. On the other hand, Fraser may sacrifice the stability and security of a husband and children, but she gets to enjoy a spontaneous life full of travel and writing. I know if Fraser was living in my circumstances she would feel incomplete, dissatisfied, frustrated, and restless as a mother of an autistic child who only functioned in a rigid routine, could not fly in an airplane, and could not adapt to other cultural experiences.
Fraser understands the universe gives us what we need, not what we want. She has written a great, thoughtful read that will get you thinking about your own life in a new way.
May 25, 2010
I hate that I'm about to compare this book to Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" (and suspect that the author will quickly get sick of that comparison, too) but women (because they are, all) who love "Eat, Pray, Love" will enjoy Fraser's new book, "All Over the Map". Both are stories about unconventional women in their forties who are forced to reconcile the life they've led with the life that's seemingly passed them by. But unlike the rest of us, they get to reconcile whilst moving from one dreamy international location to another. This gives them a unique perspective and interesting story to tell, sure, but it also gives the reader something to notice if she tires of page-after-page detailing the author's quest for self-improvement. But truly, I didn't. And I don't think it's fair to call Fraser's book another "Eat, Pray, Love." Fraser is a fantastic writer in her own right, the story she tells is uniquely her own, and her personality shines.
January 29, 2017
I read Laura Fraser's An Italian Affair some years ago, and I enjoyed the descriptions of Italy and her voice, unapologetic, direct, and, at times, self-deprecating. When I saw this book, what appeared to be a follow up, I picked it up. The focus of the book is her encroaching middle age and her desire to find a long-term partner, not just a fling, by her 45th birthday. The memoir spans most of her forties and her major travels, either for her work as a free-lance writer, or for her own experiential learning and self actualization. As much as I wanted to like this book, it was only okay, a little too episodic (even for a travel memoir), too skittering over her interior life. Things tie up neatly at the end in a way that felt contrived.
January 22, 2016
In an effort of full disclosure: I could not finish this book...
As a 40'something woman who travels, has no children, and is intermittently single- I was so tickled to find this book. I wanted to love this book. I wanted to have sentences of this book tattooed upon my aging, traveling, childless flesh.
Instead, I made it to the fifth chapter of the book and then posted it promptly on Paperbackswap.com
Here is the five chapters in a nut-shell:
I am single, I sleep with other people's husbands, and when I turned 40 I freaked out and wrote a book in which I repeated those things ad nauseum in the first five chapters.
The End.
As a 40'something woman who travels, has no children, and is intermittently single- I was so tickled to find this book. I wanted to love this book. I wanted to have sentences of this book tattooed upon my aging, traveling, childless flesh.
Instead, I made it to the fifth chapter of the book and then posted it promptly on Paperbackswap.com
Here is the five chapters in a nut-shell:
I am single, I sleep with other people's husbands, and when I turned 40 I freaked out and wrote a book in which I repeated those things ad nauseum in the first five chapters.
The End.
February 17, 2011
This is what Eat, Pray, Love should have been, but missed by a long shot. Put simply, it is one women’s journey through coming to terms with her nomadic life and the consequences it has reaped both good and bad. But as EPL proves, in the wrong hands a story of one’s midlife crisis can easily come across as sappy and forced. Whereas EPL felt like Gilbert decided to set out on a self created mission and therefore had to overwhelm the reader with over the top metaphysical, touchy feely writing, All Over the Map is written in such a simple and eloquent manner that the reader feels the experience at a much deeper level. I have little in common with Fraser, and yet I could empathize with her throughout. I’m eager to read some of her other writing given the quality produced here. I’m not a big fan of autobiographies usually, o if I enjoyed this as much as I did, I’m sure I’d love her travel writing.
July 6, 2010
Loved this. A great memoir of a woman in her forties navigating her single life and exotic travels. She wrote another great memoir "An Italian Affair" about a romance she had in Italy post-divorce in her 30s. She is like the Eat, Pray, Love writer, only less cheesy and more relatable in my opinion.
December 5, 2011
This comes across as kind of whiny. The author has a great life traveling the world and writing about it, but spends most of the book lamenting her bad luck with relationships, most of which seems to be a result of her choices that took her down a different path then the traditional husband/kids/house in the suburbs.
May 18, 2019
Laura Fraser lived like a traveling minstrel, able to pull up stakes and go just about anywhere in the world her vagabond heart desires, and earn a living writing about it. Sounds like a dream, but at middle-age she becomes depressed over the failure to connect with love and start a family. Then while traveling, she suffers a horrific assault that impacts her ability to continue traveling and writing.
I've never understood how a person could live like it isn't serious. I sort of envy those kinds of people because they probably enjoy life more than I ever did, at least in my youth. Even as a young adult, I'd see old HS chums drifting around, underemployed, quitting jobs because they were bored, and I never felt free enough to do that. I'd wonder, what's it going to be like for them when they're 40 and still standing behind a register at Target?
The author never felt that existential angst, seeming cavalier about her privileged life. She had only to express a wish and dinner parties full of worldly, well-traveled, well-connected friends would appear. She wanted to visit France? Voila, a friend who would spend days showing her around. Italy? Please, sleep in my guest room for a month. Who has that?
In the opening story she signs up for a week with Outward Bound, but wastes the opportunity. She is supposed to sit out and commune with the solitude. Instead she smokes a joint, eats all her food and goes exploring (it's like a metaphor for her life.) I admire her independent spirit but she missed a chance at developing awareness. So she is unhappy, and continues to range afield, seeking the self-knowledge that will allay her unhappiness. More world travel ensues, until a horrific attack, the trauma of which restricts her.
I noticed she had an all-or-nothing mindset. Whatever she loved was perfect, until it wasn't. A harsh example is that of spending the day with a couple of Samoan drag queens who take her to a beach bar and flirt with scary men until everybody's completely drunk. Which was sparkly and fascinating until it wasn't.
At the end of the story, Fraser relocates to San Miguel de Allende. Magical, fulfilling, perfect in every way. For now.
The book was interesting to me because I find human nature interesting, and Fraser seems like a woman with a Peter Pan complex. I hope she finds joy in her life eventually, but she may be destined to experience happiness only in short stretches, happy in each new permutation of her life until the rose color fades from her glasses and she's forced to range afield, again.
I've never understood how a person could live like it isn't serious. I sort of envy those kinds of people because they probably enjoy life more than I ever did, at least in my youth. Even as a young adult, I'd see old HS chums drifting around, underemployed, quitting jobs because they were bored, and I never felt free enough to do that. I'd wonder, what's it going to be like for them when they're 40 and still standing behind a register at Target?
The author never felt that existential angst, seeming cavalier about her privileged life. She had only to express a wish and dinner parties full of worldly, well-traveled, well-connected friends would appear. She wanted to visit France? Voila, a friend who would spend days showing her around. Italy? Please, sleep in my guest room for a month. Who has that?
In the opening story she signs up for a week with Outward Bound, but wastes the opportunity. She is supposed to sit out and commune with the solitude. Instead she smokes a joint, eats all her food and goes exploring (it's like a metaphor for her life.) I admire her independent spirit but she missed a chance at developing awareness. So she is unhappy, and continues to range afield, seeking the self-knowledge that will allay her unhappiness. More world travel ensues, until a horrific attack, the trauma of which restricts her.
I noticed she had an all-or-nothing mindset. Whatever she loved was perfect, until it wasn't. A harsh example is that of spending the day with a couple of Samoan drag queens who take her to a beach bar and flirt with scary men until everybody's completely drunk. Which was sparkly and fascinating until it wasn't.
At the end of the story, Fraser relocates to San Miguel de Allende. Magical, fulfilling, perfect in every way. For now.
The book was interesting to me because I find human nature interesting, and Fraser seems like a woman with a Peter Pan complex. I hope she finds joy in her life eventually, but she may be destined to experience happiness only in short stretches, happy in each new permutation of her life until the rose color fades from her glasses and she's forced to range afield, again.
January 15, 2012
What makes this book different from other single woman travels to a foreign land type books (Eat, Pray, Love and Under the Tuscan Sun etc) is that the author doesn't look at foreign countries/people as places that will save her. She appreciates them for their differences-language, food, people, traditions-but doesn't rely on them to fix her problems or make her a better person. Her experiences overseas seemed more real to me than those of the women in the other books-good things definitely happened to her but bad things did too and she dealt with them as best she could and there weren't happy endings or movies starring Diane Lane or Julia Roberts. I liked the honesty of her writing, especially her descriptions of her personality-it allowed the reader to see her grow through the years she describes in this book. I also loved this book because it was the first memoir I've read in a long time that it seemed like someone actually edited! The chapters flowed (even if they may have started as separate pieces) and when the author mentioned someone or something that had come up earlier, she didn't describe it all over again. I can't tell you how happy that made me as a reader!
July 10, 2010
Laura Fraser's All Over The Map is a funny, witty, sometimes sad but honest review of her life and times. It could be a story about MY life, well, except for the world travel,college and the adventurous Mom! But her trials and tribulations with men and relationships struck a chord with me. Been there, done that. Her insight into the relationships, the whys and wherefores of them, is deeply introspective, completely personal, yet makes you feel you're on the journey with her. Her fears, insecurities, lack of self-esteem...all are part of who we are as women. She just boils it all down to what we all don't want to admit. That we aren't perfect and neither are men. But "la bella vita"! Life is beautiful, and each thing that happens to us, good or bad, makes our lives what they are. What we'll reflect back on in later years. As she says..."The love in your life adds up". So, tuck in your jewelry, hold your passport and money close and act like you know where you're going. You'll get there!
July 19, 2010
I hate that this work as well as the prequel, An Italian Affair, are often compared to Gilbert's Eat,Pray, Love. Don't get me wrong, both are endearing tales of a woman's spiritual and emotional growth and enlightenment through journey and experience. However, what I admire about Fraser is her ability to marry the description of her innermost thoughts with her external travels and experiences. Her travel experiences and writing are richly described, peppered with colorful anecdotes and conversations from all over the world. In the aptly named All Over the Map, Fraser's idea of what she thinks her life should be at 45 evolve over the course of a year as she travels throughout the world amidst a sea of love, friendship, good food, laughter, trauma,and finally, loss.
*An Italian Affair is one of my favorite travelogues of all time, and I was so thrilled when I came upon All Over the Map at a bookstore last week!
*An Italian Affair is one of my favorite travelogues of all time, and I was so thrilled when I came upon All Over the Map at a bookstore last week!
March 12, 2011
She really is all over the map and reminds me of myself as my nickname is Gypsy and I travelled for 10 years in Europe (though I've had better luck with men). She's a very open and honest writer, letting us get inside her mind, complete with all the insecurities and thoughts that we normally would not have access to. When I read about her building her own little house in San Miguel, I immediately wanted to go there as it sounds like a little piece of paradise with great supportive people. You go girl! Very empowering and you really want her to find true long lasting happiness but at least, it sounds like she found herself and is happy with herself, which is the first step to being ready to find her soul mate. Wish you all the best! ENJOY! Great escape.
April 8, 2015
I wanted to read this book because I thought it woul dbe similar to "Eat, Pray, Love" and I was interested in learning about the places she was travelling to. I got about 1/3 of the way into the book and had to give up. Her stories/chapters are literally "All Over The Map". She just talks about all the places she has been and all the men she has been with and does not string all the events together into one coherent story. It was hard to relate to the character and hard to follow her main point, if she even had one. I just gave up, as I would rather not waste my time finishing it, only to discover that the whole big was a big disappointment.
May 25, 2011
This was okay. I enjoyed the descriptions of the wonderful places the author visited. I just couldn't get over the fact that she felt her life wasn't complete without a man.
July 24, 2010
LA BELLA VITA CONTINUA...with Laura's latest fabulous adventure "All Over the Map"!
Laura's first memoir, "An Italian Affair", left me longing for MORE.
More travel, more romance & more comic, heart wrenching, honest tales of a girl finding herself as she moves around the globe in search of love & living life to the max.
"All Over the Map" delivers that & so much MORE!
If you are searching for a summer read that combines witty tales ranging from cleansing your life starting with the closet, some meditation madness on way, mixed in with long distance love affair with a sexy Frenchman and ends with inspiring adventure of maybe (no spoilers here!) buying a very old, very narrow, very dilapidated house in artsy village of San Miguel de Allende with so much truth & raw emotion woven into each chapter than this IS the book for you!
Laura's writing is so easy to relate to & I kept thinking "Oh, that happened to me".
Laura is from San Francisco, like me, loves to travel, like me, can be impetuous at times, like me, passionate, like me, quirky, like me & funny, like me.
Only funnier. And way more willing to put it out there in print!
This book is impossible to put down & be forewarned:
"All Over the Map" may cost $20 but you will be inspired to eat, love, travel so get the credit card & sense of adventure saddled up before diving into page 1!
Good lit travels fast, Great lit never stops!
An Italian Affair
September 7, 2011
I had to let this one marinate for a bit before writing a review. I want to keep this short. Let's see if I can.
I understand why people have compared this book to EPL. It's not much of a stretch: lonely and divorced women of a certain age seeking something in the world, be it love, sex, excitement, inner peace, her spiritual core, or all of the above. I get it. There are some days I panic about waking up one morning and realizing I've missed my opportunity for fulfillment. Hell, that happened last week, last month, and a bunch of times last year. This is what I reckon the problem is; post divorce cynicism inexorably mingling with soul shattering loneliness. In my case, people frolicking 'round the city in love are making me retch ( except you, Jeanie!! Yay wedding).
So what's my problem with people in love? Duhhhh, the fact that I'm not one of them. And so is Laura Fraser; not in love, and wanting to be. She's thinking her eggs are about to expire, she has no home to call her own and all she has are frequent flier miles and no one to share them with--even her non-committal European luvvah has found someone. Que faire? Je ne sais pas! But, what I do know is that I'm not alone in my fear of being alone. So that makes me feel summat better. She made one good point: the grass is NOT greener on the other side. All her smug married friends with giant lawns and play dates are teeming with envy that she has nothing to tie her down. Now, me, I only lament I have no one to tie me up. Whoops, did I say that out loud?
I understand why people have compared this book to EPL. It's not much of a stretch: lonely and divorced women of a certain age seeking something in the world, be it love, sex, excitement, inner peace, her spiritual core, or all of the above. I get it. There are some days I panic about waking up one morning and realizing I've missed my opportunity for fulfillment. Hell, that happened last week, last month, and a bunch of times last year. This is what I reckon the problem is; post divorce cynicism inexorably mingling with soul shattering loneliness. In my case, people frolicking 'round the city in love are making me retch ( except you, Jeanie!! Yay wedding).
So what's my problem with people in love? Duhhhh, the fact that I'm not one of them. And so is Laura Fraser; not in love, and wanting to be. She's thinking her eggs are about to expire, she has no home to call her own and all she has are frequent flier miles and no one to share them with--even her non-committal European luvvah has found someone. Que faire? Je ne sais pas! But, what I do know is that I'm not alone in my fear of being alone. So that makes me feel summat better. She made one good point: the grass is NOT greener on the other side. All her smug married friends with giant lawns and play dates are teeming with envy that she has nothing to tie her down. Now, me, I only lament I have no one to tie me up. Whoops, did I say that out loud?
October 3, 2011
Some will say this is another fortysomething divorcee memoir, and others will criticize Fraser for repurposing her killed journalistic pieces. To them I say, get over it. Anyone who makes a decent living by seeing the world and writing about it deserves a heaping pile of credit. Fraser also happens to be a good, clear writer who is straightforward about her weaknesses and her relative privilege. I could relate to her instincts for both independence and stability, and to her confusion about what to do with her life. I found the culmination of her years of searching to be genuinely moving. Also, I envy her seemingly enormous circle of close, supportive friends from all around the world. Why don't I know any guys named Peppe and Guillermo? Note to self: leave house once in a while.
February 9, 2011
Well-written, but hard to identify with our author. She chronicles her 40s and contemplates her lack of a firm relationship and home while still indulging her penchant for wanderlust. She ultimately self-diagnoses pretty well and never gives up trying to improve, which are both admirable and nice to see in the book. She's also likable enough and definitely travels to interesting places, writing some fascinating stories. However, it is a little silly to me that a woman would be practically 50 before she gets the kind of insight this otherwise intelligent woman finally gains--if only she'd been paying attention to her life while she'd lived it.
July 19, 2010
I loved this book. I liked it so much more than her first book, An Italian Affair. Laura is so likable to me - she makes mistakes, she's impulsive, and she's lonely and sad at middle age. I loved her adventures in this book and just fell in love with her along the way. I loved her time in Mexico and cheered when she makes a big decision while she's there. She's just such a great heroine and someone you really want to root for.
July 2, 2010
Ever since reading The Italian Affair, I've been waiting to hear more from Laura Fraser. And I'm so glad that All Over the Map was what I waited for: such a bittersweet and ultimately very inspiring account. It made me both want to travel, and stay at home. This book felt like a friend with whom I shared a really soul-searching conversation.
October 13, 2010
I'd seen reviews for this book in all kinds of magazines, plus it's all about travel, so I was excited to read it. However, I never really identified with Laura, and thus was unable to get hooked into her story. I ended up skipping through the chapters to see the different destinations and then reading the lovely descriptions of the places. Overall, the book wasn't what I hoped.
August 13, 2010
In all honesty, I would give this 2.5 stars if possible. I liked Fraser's writing style, and I enjoyed reading about her travels. I just got tired of the author's quest for self-improvement -- sometimes it felt whiney and spoiled.
April 29, 2012
I didn't like how this was really just a story of a breakup. I'd prefer to read travel books from a women's perspective that aren't just about "finding yourself after a breakup." A lot of us travel for other reasons and I wish that was represented more. I feel like this book oversold itself.
April 15, 2024
Didn’t really enjoy this one. Felt like it was not the adventure/travel book I was expecting and more about the author desperately wanting a partner before turning 45. Some parts also didn’t sit right with me like the author calling fa’afafine “fake women”, implying immigrant women who escaped sex trafficking in Italy “may realize they’ve managed to make their dream of living and working in Italy come true”, describing a woman she meets as “verging on anorexia”, etc.
February 24, 2021
An interesting travel log, though one which focuses more on the author's romantic relationships than on travel per se. It does get a bit bogged down by too much relationship talk at some points instead of focusing on foreign locations or interesting experiences.
August 29, 2024
Loved this! Found it so relatable with her life journey and her writing brings places to life
August 8, 2011
Laura Fraser is a twice-published memoir writer and a memoir teacher, with whom I've had the pleasure of learning my craft. In her workshop, Laura encouraged us to take big risks, letting it all hang out in order to tell our unique stories. Teaching by example, Fraser did that and more in her newest memoir All Over the Map, now out in paperback. It's the sequel to her bestselling An Italian Affair.
Fraser's two memoirs chronicle her ten-year relationship with a married Frenchman whom she meets in Italy; a man whose name she never reveals, calling him simply "the Professor." Given all the intimate details she shares with her readers, we easily forgive Fraser's withholding of the man's name. For the second time, in All Over the Map Laura Fraser bares her trampled and ultimately reconstituted heart while redefining the role of "the other woman" in life and literature. The perspective of the mistress is relatively new to memoir, having remained in the shadows of the betrayed wife until fairly recently. As morality loosens and more memoirs are written, we read an increasing number of real-life romances told from the point of view of the character readers used to view exclusively as the "home wrecker." But even in that context, Fraser pushes boundaries.
Here's she explains how her secret relationship with the Professor began, after the end of her own marriage: "Twelve years ago, after 18 months of marriage, my husband left me unexpectedly, and when I could finally rouse myself to do anything, I booked a flight to Italy. Every time I'd been there, I'd felt happier, more alive, and I hoped that by speaking another language I would become another person for a while, one whose heart was whole."
After a blissful four-day affair on the island of Ischia, Fraser and the Professor part, leaving Fraser alone and feeling blue again, that is until -- "One chilly day that winter, at home, while I was in the midst of moving out of my husband's house and refiguring my finances, a postcard arrived from Paris. 'I couldn't forget,' the Professor wrote. And neither could I. That spring, we met in Milan. Six months later, we met in London, and the next fall he flew to San Francisco. Over the next three years, we met in Turin, Morocco and Mexico, immersing ourselves in the food, the art'"whatever was beautiful and sensual. Always keeping things simple and speaking Italian."
Fraser's talents as a travel and food writer are much on display in these two memoirs, which use the author's forbidden love affair as a shared story spine but leave plenty of room for life's other pleasures. In fact, the author's undaunted curiosity about new places, people, and cuisine is the connective thread that carries her (and her readers) through the ups and downs of her story. Like Eat, Pray, Love, Fraser's story is a romantic memoir about a woman going off to heal after a divorce, and capping that journey with an affair. Unlike author Elizabeth Gilbert, Fraser comes home without the happily ever after, at least not in the conventional sense.
Laura Fraser's second memoir ends poignantly with the author still single, visiting her former lover, now divorced and remarried to yet another woman (since Fraser last saw him). The scene takes place at the Professor's hospital bedside, a few weeks before his death. At this point, Fraser's story becomes a celebration of the deep friendship that exists between two grown-ups, a relationship that survived the romance that initially brought them together.
Booklist called All Over the Map "a winning coming-of-middle-age memoir," while Elizabeth Gilbert herself said: "ALL OVER THE MAP makes you want to pack your bags, explore the world, mend your broken heart, and totally reclaim your life."
For memoir writers, Fraser's work demonstrates that, when handled well, having more than one theme in a true-life story only deepens and enriches the reader's experience.
Visit my website http://www.MemoirMidwife.com for more inspiration and advice on the craft of memoir writing.
Fraser's two memoirs chronicle her ten-year relationship with a married Frenchman whom she meets in Italy; a man whose name she never reveals, calling him simply "the Professor." Given all the intimate details she shares with her readers, we easily forgive Fraser's withholding of the man's name. For the second time, in All Over the Map Laura Fraser bares her trampled and ultimately reconstituted heart while redefining the role of "the other woman" in life and literature. The perspective of the mistress is relatively new to memoir, having remained in the shadows of the betrayed wife until fairly recently. As morality loosens and more memoirs are written, we read an increasing number of real-life romances told from the point of view of the character readers used to view exclusively as the "home wrecker." But even in that context, Fraser pushes boundaries.
Here's she explains how her secret relationship with the Professor began, after the end of her own marriage: "Twelve years ago, after 18 months of marriage, my husband left me unexpectedly, and when I could finally rouse myself to do anything, I booked a flight to Italy. Every time I'd been there, I'd felt happier, more alive, and I hoped that by speaking another language I would become another person for a while, one whose heart was whole."
After a blissful four-day affair on the island of Ischia, Fraser and the Professor part, leaving Fraser alone and feeling blue again, that is until -- "One chilly day that winter, at home, while I was in the midst of moving out of my husband's house and refiguring my finances, a postcard arrived from Paris. 'I couldn't forget,' the Professor wrote. And neither could I. That spring, we met in Milan. Six months later, we met in London, and the next fall he flew to San Francisco. Over the next three years, we met in Turin, Morocco and Mexico, immersing ourselves in the food, the art'"whatever was beautiful and sensual. Always keeping things simple and speaking Italian."
Fraser's talents as a travel and food writer are much on display in these two memoirs, which use the author's forbidden love affair as a shared story spine but leave plenty of room for life's other pleasures. In fact, the author's undaunted curiosity about new places, people, and cuisine is the connective thread that carries her (and her readers) through the ups and downs of her story. Like Eat, Pray, Love, Fraser's story is a romantic memoir about a woman going off to heal after a divorce, and capping that journey with an affair. Unlike author Elizabeth Gilbert, Fraser comes home without the happily ever after, at least not in the conventional sense.
Laura Fraser's second memoir ends poignantly with the author still single, visiting her former lover, now divorced and remarried to yet another woman (since Fraser last saw him). The scene takes place at the Professor's hospital bedside, a few weeks before his death. At this point, Fraser's story becomes a celebration of the deep friendship that exists between two grown-ups, a relationship that survived the romance that initially brought them together.
Booklist called All Over the Map "a winning coming-of-middle-age memoir," while Elizabeth Gilbert herself said: "ALL OVER THE MAP makes you want to pack your bags, explore the world, mend your broken heart, and totally reclaim your life."
For memoir writers, Fraser's work demonstrates that, when handled well, having more than one theme in a true-life story only deepens and enriches the reader's experience.
Visit my website http://www.MemoirMidwife.com for more inspiration and advice on the craft of memoir writing.
January 3, 2022
This book was awful. It was like reading a diary written by a “Karen”. She just whines about being in her forties.
If you want to read an inspiring book about a real female traveler who sets out in her forties read, ‘Tales of a Female Nomad’.
Stay away from this book. If I had a fireplace I would use this book as kindling. Literally, this type of literature and mindset is what drives middle -aged women to commit suicide. I’m not being sarcastic.
The author spends 175 pages bitching and moaning about her life and the second she actually does something worth noting 1.) Ayahuasca and 2.) Hiking to Machu Picchu - she writes about it for only 1 page. She literally chalks up her entire trip, in Peru, into a couple paragraphs.
She isn’t a traditional traveller- a person consumed by wanderlust. She is just a writer - traveling to places (to write an article) in order to make enough money to cover her rent. And it shows in her writing. Where is her gumption?
Page 3:
“I am trying not to think about how ironic it is that it is the Professor- the rogue, the adventure, the Don Juan- who is happy to be settling down, while I, the one who has wanted a steady partner, a companion, a house and family- am sharing a hotel room with yet another man who likes me a lot and is not in love with me. If he says we can always be friends, I will completely lose it.”
Page 13:
“But now on the other side is 40, the most foreign place I’ve ever visited, and suddenly I’m all by myself. They take your passport at the gate, confront you with a clipboard, and ask, ‘Where is your husband? And when, by the way, are you going to have kids?’ “
Page 70- It feels like her writing and her state of mind is all over the place. She went on a trip to the American Southwest with Outward Bound, then flew to Wesleyan for her 20 year college reunion, then went to Italy to write a story about prostitutes. Then she lands in Western Samoa- to write a story “about gender blurring in Samoa- about a third gender, called fa’ afafine.”
Her writing is very journalistic. There’s no texture. I can’t feel her pain. She refuses to talk about the assault. I feel like victims of violent crimes would be able to resonate with her more if she opened up- and spilled the story regarding what ails her instead of keeping silent about it. This writer is like an onion- she has so many layers. Will she ever unpeel?
*The answer is no. There is no epiphany, no fanfare, no climax to her story or this book.
Page 132:
Laura: Now I only have a year until I’m 45 -and that seems like the expiration date.
Sandra: For what?
Laura: For finding a husband, a home, a family.
Sandra shakes her head. “We adopted Aldo when I was about your age. Your friend Ben adopted a kid when he was 60. Nothing expires until you do. “
This book won’t inspire you to travel or teach you anything- there’s no moral to the story. It just ends.
If you want to read an inspiring book about a real female traveler who sets out in her forties read, ‘Tales of a Female Nomad’.
Stay away from this book. If I had a fireplace I would use this book as kindling. Literally, this type of literature and mindset is what drives middle -aged women to commit suicide. I’m not being sarcastic.
The author spends 175 pages bitching and moaning about her life and the second she actually does something worth noting 1.) Ayahuasca and 2.) Hiking to Machu Picchu - she writes about it for only 1 page. She literally chalks up her entire trip, in Peru, into a couple paragraphs.
She isn’t a traditional traveller- a person consumed by wanderlust. She is just a writer - traveling to places (to write an article) in order to make enough money to cover her rent. And it shows in her writing. Where is her gumption?
Page 3:
“I am trying not to think about how ironic it is that it is the Professor- the rogue, the adventure, the Don Juan- who is happy to be settling down, while I, the one who has wanted a steady partner, a companion, a house and family- am sharing a hotel room with yet another man who likes me a lot and is not in love with me. If he says we can always be friends, I will completely lose it.”
Page 13:
“But now on the other side is 40, the most foreign place I’ve ever visited, and suddenly I’m all by myself. They take your passport at the gate, confront you with a clipboard, and ask, ‘Where is your husband? And when, by the way, are you going to have kids?’ “
Page 70- It feels like her writing and her state of mind is all over the place. She went on a trip to the American Southwest with Outward Bound, then flew to Wesleyan for her 20 year college reunion, then went to Italy to write a story about prostitutes. Then she lands in Western Samoa- to write a story “about gender blurring in Samoa- about a third gender, called fa’ afafine.”
Her writing is very journalistic. There’s no texture. I can’t feel her pain. She refuses to talk about the assault. I feel like victims of violent crimes would be able to resonate with her more if she opened up- and spilled the story regarding what ails her instead of keeping silent about it. This writer is like an onion- she has so many layers. Will she ever unpeel?
*The answer is no. There is no epiphany, no fanfare, no climax to her story or this book.
Page 132:
Laura: Now I only have a year until I’m 45 -and that seems like the expiration date.
Sandra: For what?
Laura: For finding a husband, a home, a family.
Sandra shakes her head. “We adopted Aldo when I was about your age. Your friend Ben adopted a kid when he was 60. Nothing expires until you do. “
This book won’t inspire you to travel or teach you anything- there’s no moral to the story. It just ends.
July 9, 2010
The relatively new genre of memoir of middle aged woman finding herself (usually after divorce) seems almost a second coming of age. These are women disillusioned by the whole struggle of balancing careers, families, and personal growth, looking to lead fuller, more meaningful lives, and always to find their one true love. Laura Fraser fits easily in this category and All Over the Map is the story of her second coming of age.
Laura Fraser is a restless traveler with no roots, running away from the decisions she's made, when her 45th birthday approaches. She decides a man will fix everything and sets out to find the right one. Her travels are interesting and she describes the places she visits in tantalizing detail. I found myself marking places I want to see. Even Samoa, the scene of a life-changing disaster for Fraser, sounds appealing in her description. Still, I cringed every time she jumped into a new relationship and often found myself wanting to shake her. The ending saves the book for me. I won't give anything away, but I felt that Fraser did finally gain some insight.
Laura Fraser is a restless traveler with no roots, running away from the decisions she's made, when her 45th birthday approaches. She decides a man will fix everything and sets out to find the right one. Her travels are interesting and she describes the places she visits in tantalizing detail. I found myself marking places I want to see. Even Samoa, the scene of a life-changing disaster for Fraser, sounds appealing in her description. Still, I cringed every time she jumped into a new relationship and often found myself wanting to shake her. The ending saves the book for me. I won't give anything away, but I felt that Fraser did finally gain some insight.
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