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Snowflake Obsidian: Memoir of a Cutter
Willow is nineteen, naive, and Mormon. She genuinely sucks at having relationships with the opposite sex, thanks to her daddy issues-as in she has a dad and wishes she didn't. Her only perfect relationship is with her best friend, Jo. But when Willow and Jo fall for the same guy, Willow finds herself friendless and falling in love with a drug addict. Feeling confused, guilty, and alone, she turns to cutting herself as a way to cope. Snowflake Obsidian presents the memoir of one girl's transformation and gradual shift from the cocoon of a protected religious culture to the wider world and a deeper understanding the many faces of love. As Willow steps into the world outside her religious ideals, she finds herself in situations she'd never getting a body piercing at a parlor full of sex toys; purchasing the morning-after pill for a friend who had been raped; and attending a support group for co-dependents. She puts all her faith in a snowflake obsidian stone when she can't cope with her depression. She lives with her boyfriend while trying to remain abstinent. Willow's journey into the world illuminates her dark side-which in turn fully allows her to know the light. Her intelligent and humorous voice shares her story with a straightforward blend of nostalgic observance and cynical optimism in this witty memoir of life, love, and learning.
268 pages, Paperback
First published December 15, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
May 19, 2011
Snowflake Obsidian: Memoir of a Cutter is a true story account of one young ladies need to feel!
Willow is a Mormon, who loves to paint and has great friends around her. However, she is unsatisfied with the direction her life is headed. Her best friend continues to steal her boyfriends from her, her father is a tenacious SOB, his words, not mine and her mother just goes with the flow and is Willow's one source of unconventional love.
Willow has a great group of friends, who love and cherish her, she has her own cliche in school, her paint and canvas and everything seems to be going well, that is, until everyone graduates and life intrudes and her comfort zone is removed as all those around her grow in different directions. Willow is left feeling the emptiness, her natural empathic abilities were left with a hollow void that she couldn't figure out how to fill.
Then one day, she meets River, her soul mate, her reason for getting up in the morning. She doesn't quite connect with him at first, there are other people involved that keep the two apart, however, when they do finally connect you find an idyllic first time romance, straight out of a Hollywood movie. The week Willow travels to London with her father to visit her older brother, everything and everybody around her changes. River is distant, her friends don't return her calls and everyone is whispering and acting strange. At first, Willow is confused and she comes to learn the reason for her friends paranoia and suspicions. River decides his life with her isn't enough and moves on, leaving Willow broken, confused and alone in a room full of people.
The first time Willow cuts herself, she is sickened and appalled but it doesn't stop her from doing it and she seeks help. Her therapist helps her to see herself, like a caterpillar's metamorphosis, we read how Willow unfolds and learns from herself and those around her.
I really enjoyed the writing style of The Hippie, her prose is often flippant, witty and profound in places. For some reason, I was able to relate with the main character, Willow, her honest, open, face value personality is one that reminded me of myself at that age. She was the hugger/empath of the group and that was also, once my role and when all my friends drifted to lives of their own, I was too was left with a void. The Hippie was able to portray the insights of Willow quite expressively and sharing her inner thoughts and turmoils was a fresh, honest approach to addressing a subject that is occurring all too often these days. The act of self-inflicted cutting of your own skin in order to feel something...for some it comes and goes and easily controlled at times, for others, the need to inflict pain is a constant demand on their psyche.
I was moved by how the author expressed herself, from being comfortable in her own skin to the revulsion of it to the acceptance of all. The full circle effect was accomplished most eloquently, in a hip, upbeat and expressive manner. The only thing I could say bad about it, would be the staggering beginning, it stumbles a bit when you first take off, but the flow picks up quite quickly and you'll notice yourself sinking into Willow's soul. As well, she has a lot of friends and sometimes you aren't always sure who is speaking, and a bit of back-tracking may be required to reestablish yourself but other than that, I am sure you will find it enlightening as I did, or maybe its just because I am empathic hippie myself and our souls connected with the story. Anyway you wish to view it, this book is definitely worth a read, even if its just a need to find someone else who can emphasize.
Willow is a Mormon, who loves to paint and has great friends around her. However, she is unsatisfied with the direction her life is headed. Her best friend continues to steal her boyfriends from her, her father is a tenacious SOB, his words, not mine and her mother just goes with the flow and is Willow's one source of unconventional love.
Willow has a great group of friends, who love and cherish her, she has her own cliche in school, her paint and canvas and everything seems to be going well, that is, until everyone graduates and life intrudes and her comfort zone is removed as all those around her grow in different directions. Willow is left feeling the emptiness, her natural empathic abilities were left with a hollow void that she couldn't figure out how to fill.
Then one day, she meets River, her soul mate, her reason for getting up in the morning. She doesn't quite connect with him at first, there are other people involved that keep the two apart, however, when they do finally connect you find an idyllic first time romance, straight out of a Hollywood movie. The week Willow travels to London with her father to visit her older brother, everything and everybody around her changes. River is distant, her friends don't return her calls and everyone is whispering and acting strange. At first, Willow is confused and she comes to learn the reason for her friends paranoia and suspicions. River decides his life with her isn't enough and moves on, leaving Willow broken, confused and alone in a room full of people.
The first time Willow cuts herself, she is sickened and appalled but it doesn't stop her from doing it and she seeks help. Her therapist helps her to see herself, like a caterpillar's metamorphosis, we read how Willow unfolds and learns from herself and those around her.
I really enjoyed the writing style of The Hippie, her prose is often flippant, witty and profound in places. For some reason, I was able to relate with the main character, Willow, her honest, open, face value personality is one that reminded me of myself at that age. She was the hugger/empath of the group and that was also, once my role and when all my friends drifted to lives of their own, I was too was left with a void. The Hippie was able to portray the insights of Willow quite expressively and sharing her inner thoughts and turmoils was a fresh, honest approach to addressing a subject that is occurring all too often these days. The act of self-inflicted cutting of your own skin in order to feel something...for some it comes and goes and easily controlled at times, for others, the need to inflict pain is a constant demand on their psyche.
I was moved by how the author expressed herself, from being comfortable in her own skin to the revulsion of it to the acceptance of all. The full circle effect was accomplished most eloquently, in a hip, upbeat and expressive manner. The only thing I could say bad about it, would be the staggering beginning, it stumbles a bit when you first take off, but the flow picks up quite quickly and you'll notice yourself sinking into Willow's soul. As well, she has a lot of friends and sometimes you aren't always sure who is speaking, and a bit of back-tracking may be required to reestablish yourself but other than that, I am sure you will find it enlightening as I did, or maybe its just because I am empathic hippie myself and our souls connected with the story. Anyway you wish to view it, this book is definitely worth a read, even if its just a need to find someone else who can emphasize.
May 9, 2011
Snowflake Obsidian really deals with a tough issue: depression and cutting. I think that is why it was a little hard for me at times to read this book. It did take courage for her though to write about her life and tell the world and I give her a lot of credit for that.
Willow doesn't have the perfect life. Her father yells at her so much. He was in the Vietnam war, so maybe that is why he is so disconnected with her. It seems like the only thing he loves is the TV. She tries to tell him that she loves him, and he thinks that she just wants money. Willow really is neglected by her parents. She even calls them by their first names. At least she has quite a few very good friends though. One of them is Jo. Jo seems to end up liking every one of Willow's boyfriends and taking them away from her. She finally talks to River and finds out they have so much in common.
Depression is a horrible thing, but I just don't know what it is like to feel so depressed that I would want to cut myself. The Hippie really brought you into her world to see what she was going through to bring her to that point. I was surprised at how her and her friends were always in her bed and spooning each other. I felt sad for her that her parents paid her no attention. I can't imagine parents that would just let this go on!
Since this was a memoir, I think The Hippie did a great job recalling the events of her life. I just really didn't feel a connection with this book like I was hoping that I would.
This review is only my opinion, and I recommend that you visit Bookshipper's blog to read her review of this book. She gave it 4/5 stars and said "Addiction and recovery is a subject that is very close to my heart. Because of this, I have read my share of books on just about every subject, including cutting and Snowflake Obsidian was one of the most raw and real books I have read in a long time."
Quote (p.112):
My eyes happened to glance down at the orange handled scissors that lay on the counter. With out much thought I picked them up with my right hand, brought my leg to the counter, resting my foot on the edge of Beloved I rolled up my pant leg. I softly opened the scissors in my right hand thinking for a moment of sawing them into my leg. It only took a moment for my thought to turn to action as the dull blade of the scissors viciously rubbed against my ivory skin.
I stopped only once I saw blood. The blood somehow startled me. As if that wasn't the result I was looking for.
Willow doesn't have the perfect life. Her father yells at her so much. He was in the Vietnam war, so maybe that is why he is so disconnected with her. It seems like the only thing he loves is the TV. She tries to tell him that she loves him, and he thinks that she just wants money. Willow really is neglected by her parents. She even calls them by their first names. At least she has quite a few very good friends though. One of them is Jo. Jo seems to end up liking every one of Willow's boyfriends and taking them away from her. She finally talks to River and finds out they have so much in common.
Depression is a horrible thing, but I just don't know what it is like to feel so depressed that I would want to cut myself. The Hippie really brought you into her world to see what she was going through to bring her to that point. I was surprised at how her and her friends were always in her bed and spooning each other. I felt sad for her that her parents paid her no attention. I can't imagine parents that would just let this go on!
Since this was a memoir, I think The Hippie did a great job recalling the events of her life. I just really didn't feel a connection with this book like I was hoping that I would.
This review is only my opinion, and I recommend that you visit Bookshipper's blog to read her review of this book. She gave it 4/5 stars and said "Addiction and recovery is a subject that is very close to my heart. Because of this, I have read my share of books on just about every subject, including cutting and Snowflake Obsidian was one of the most raw and real books I have read in a long time."
Quote (p.112):
My eyes happened to glance down at the orange handled scissors that lay on the counter. With out much thought I picked them up with my right hand, brought my leg to the counter, resting my foot on the edge of Beloved I rolled up my pant leg. I softly opened the scissors in my right hand thinking for a moment of sawing them into my leg. It only took a moment for my thought to turn to action as the dull blade of the scissors viciously rubbed against my ivory skin.
I stopped only once I saw blood. The blood somehow startled me. As if that wasn't the result I was looking for.
September 27, 2018
Willow is your average teenager. Happy, carefree, has lots of friends and is generally okay with life. This is until she meets River, who she has a connection with. They eventually get together after much drama. But then River dumps a confused Willow in a room full of people!
Given that her shitty best friend keeps stealing her boyfriend and her father is a grade A asshole, she soon finds herself in a chain of events that sends her on a downwards spiral to depression and she starts cutting.
With the help of her therapist, she's able to start on the path of healing through self discovery. I'm really glad i read this book. It talks about really important issues like depression and self harm. Sage's flippant and witty style of writing is absolutely brilliant. The humor and honest commentary in the book was like taking in a breath of fresh air.
Thanks to Booktasters and Sage Steadman for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Given that her shitty best friend keeps stealing her boyfriend and her father is a grade A asshole, she soon finds herself in a chain of events that sends her on a downwards spiral to depression and she starts cutting.
With the help of her therapist, she's able to start on the path of healing through self discovery. I'm really glad i read this book. It talks about really important issues like depression and self harm. Sage's flippant and witty style of writing is absolutely brilliant. The humor and honest commentary in the book was like taking in a breath of fresh air.
Thanks to Booktasters and Sage Steadman for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 20, 2018
So, wow is all i can say to describe this novel! The characters grab you and soo much emotion is put into this novel that you can feel what the characters were feeling. Such as the first time the character cut herself she was appalled by it but she continued to do so! Great novel about self acceptance and moving forward. Pick it up!
June 22, 2011
Every now and then, a book comes along that really grabs you and refuses to let go until you’ve turned the last page. It is the type of book that leaves an indelible mark; in some meaningful way, deep within, you feel that you’ve been given something special. Whether it’s immediately apparent or occurs to you at a later time—like a welcome sense of déjà vu—you know that touch has added to your essential self.
About two years ago, I read the first few chapters of Snowflake Obsidian, by Kirsten Sage Steadman. At that time, I believe the book was in the process of being written. After those few pages, I knew this work was an outlier, meaning that it stood apart from others of its kind, both in style and substance. Even though I’d only taken in a small part of the story, I believed it was penned by a very talented young writer.
The story is one of self-discovery or, to be more precise, self-revelation. It deals with maturing into adulthood while being forced to revisit one's identity. The main character, Willow, is a nineteen-year-old teenager on the verge of this momentous and difficult transition. She is initially quite carefree and happy, has many friends and seems well adjusted enough, but a series of events ensue that gradually erode the foundations of these illusions. She is set adrift in depression, betrayed by her supposed best friend and abandoned by the boy she believes to be her soul mate. Her support network of peers dissolves, leaving her to face the blackness without them.
Willow's life spirals downward until she spends her days in seclusion, gripped by fear and hopelessness, giving in to impulses of self-mutilation—cutting—to hide from herself and the rest of the outside world. If Willow is to come out of her self-imposed banishment, she must discover the truth about herself—about her attitudes and beliefs and how they have led her to this dark limbo.
It could be that personal experiences with depression impacted my perception of the book's message, that of truth and self-awakening. Nevertheless, the story is told in such a way as to be especially amusing, an added bonus to its honest insight and relevance. I commented those many months ago, with only several chapters read, that Snowflake Obsidian was, "[a]n absolutely entertaining read, and one I am confident will be going places." Now, after reading the entire book, I believe in that statement all the more.
About two years ago, I read the first few chapters of Snowflake Obsidian, by Kirsten Sage Steadman. At that time, I believe the book was in the process of being written. After those few pages, I knew this work was an outlier, meaning that it stood apart from others of its kind, both in style and substance. Even though I’d only taken in a small part of the story, I believed it was penned by a very talented young writer.
The story is one of self-discovery or, to be more precise, self-revelation. It deals with maturing into adulthood while being forced to revisit one's identity. The main character, Willow, is a nineteen-year-old teenager on the verge of this momentous and difficult transition. She is initially quite carefree and happy, has many friends and seems well adjusted enough, but a series of events ensue that gradually erode the foundations of these illusions. She is set adrift in depression, betrayed by her supposed best friend and abandoned by the boy she believes to be her soul mate. Her support network of peers dissolves, leaving her to face the blackness without them.
Willow's life spirals downward until she spends her days in seclusion, gripped by fear and hopelessness, giving in to impulses of self-mutilation—cutting—to hide from herself and the rest of the outside world. If Willow is to come out of her self-imposed banishment, she must discover the truth about herself—about her attitudes and beliefs and how they have led her to this dark limbo.
It could be that personal experiences with depression impacted my perception of the book's message, that of truth and self-awakening. Nevertheless, the story is told in such a way as to be especially amusing, an added bonus to its honest insight and relevance. I commented those many months ago, with only several chapters read, that Snowflake Obsidian was, "[a]n absolutely entertaining read, and one I am confident will be going places." Now, after reading the entire book, I believe in that statement all the more.
December 3, 2012
Surprisingly funny memoir of a 20-something female cutter. Willow is a seemingly normal young adult on the outside. She was popular in high school, has lots of guy friends and a "best friend" who always manages to steal all her boyfriends, or date them once she's confided in liking them. We've all had that annoying friend. Her father is a ex-military veteran who is closed off from his family and the world. Her brother, his wife and dog have just moved back home, and the world around her is slowly changing from the innocent one she lived in her whole life. Life has become complicated, and in dealing with a friends hardships, the changes around her and a man she loves turning to drugs and alcohol hell bent on destroying his life, Willow turns to cutting to sooth her inner turmoil. As an ex-cutter myself, and someone who still deals with the struggle to NOT cut on a daily basis, I found there were many similarities between myself and Willow, even though I have dealt with mental illness my entire life, and her struggles started in early adult hood.
At first I wasn't sure I enjoyed the book. I loved the beginning. Read the first 50 pages in one sitting, unable to put the book down. The author does not write in brutal detail about her cutting ... more like it is there. She writes about the first time, and she writes about her therapist, and her inner struggles and how much she hates herself and her recovery process, but she never goes into detail about her cutting and i think I was confused as I thought that was what the book was supposed to be about.
But after I finished the novel, and the more I thought about the story, the more I liked it. Snowflake Obsidian really made me think. I may have been a loner in high school with no friends, your stereotypical cutter, but Willow was not. She was the popular girl, and this gave me a very different perspective on things. Everyone is fighting a battle, no matter how they appear on the outside. Snowflake Obsidian was a very easy read, and read like a young adult novel. We really got inside Willows life, and met each of her friends, on a very personal level.
At first I wasn't sure I enjoyed the book. I loved the beginning. Read the first 50 pages in one sitting, unable to put the book down. The author does not write in brutal detail about her cutting ... more like it is there. She writes about the first time, and she writes about her therapist, and her inner struggles and how much she hates herself and her recovery process, but she never goes into detail about her cutting and i think I was confused as I thought that was what the book was supposed to be about.
But after I finished the novel, and the more I thought about the story, the more I liked it. Snowflake Obsidian really made me think. I may have been a loner in high school with no friends, your stereotypical cutter, but Willow was not. She was the popular girl, and this gave me a very different perspective on things. Everyone is fighting a battle, no matter how they appear on the outside. Snowflake Obsidian was a very easy read, and read like a young adult novel. We really got inside Willows life, and met each of her friends, on a very personal level.
June 18, 2011
Snowflake Obsidian is the memoir of a college-aged Mormon girl named Willow who lives her life how she wants to live it. In true hippie style, she's free-spirited and happy. Until she meets River, the boy of her dreams who changes all of that. Life is glorious with River until he turns to drugs and finds happiness in the beauty that drugs bring rather than the true beauty of life that he discovered with Willow.
When Willow loses River, her life takes a turn for the worse; she's no longer the free-spirited happy girl she once was. She dyes her hair black, won't go out with her friends, and worst of all, turns to cutting herself to feel something once again. The second half of the book is a little dark, depressing, and very real as Willow tries to find her way back to that happy place she once knew, or at least a place that's safe from the harm she's doing to herself.
I won't ruin the rest of the book for you, but this is definitely a worthwhile read, even more so knowing that it is a memoir of the author herself. Everyone goes through tough times in their lives, and I have full admiration for The Hippie who put hers down on paper to share with the world how she went from, as she puts it, a caterpillar to a butterfly. I didn't love the book, but it kept me reading to see what happened and if Willow ever did make it out of that dark cocoon. 3 stars.
When Willow loses River, her life takes a turn for the worse; she's no longer the free-spirited happy girl she once was. She dyes her hair black, won't go out with her friends, and worst of all, turns to cutting herself to feel something once again. The second half of the book is a little dark, depressing, and very real as Willow tries to find her way back to that happy place she once knew, or at least a place that's safe from the harm she's doing to herself.
I won't ruin the rest of the book for you, but this is definitely a worthwhile read, even more so knowing that it is a memoir of the author herself. Everyone goes through tough times in their lives, and I have full admiration for The Hippie who put hers down on paper to share with the world how she went from, as she puts it, a caterpillar to a butterfly. I didn't love the book, but it kept me reading to see what happened and if Willow ever did make it out of that dark cocoon. 3 stars.
May 19, 2011
Funny, heart-wrenching, real, these are all words that stick in my mind after reading this memoir.
The hippie has a unique way of writing, using a humorous approach to tackle tough subjects like self-mutilation and relationships.
Yes, the author is a cutter. Not a story I have read much about, and yet I have a healthy curiosity in regards to it and what makes a cutter, cut. I now feel like I have an understanding of why and what, and I am glad to have that knowledge now.
Sensitive subject, yes, but not what the whole book was about. It was mostly a memoir of a girl growing into a woman, and her relationships along the way, including with family.
I definitely think a lot of readers will enjoy this book!
The hippie has a unique way of writing, using a humorous approach to tackle tough subjects like self-mutilation and relationships.
Yes, the author is a cutter. Not a story I have read much about, and yet I have a healthy curiosity in regards to it and what makes a cutter, cut. I now feel like I have an understanding of why and what, and I am glad to have that knowledge now.
Sensitive subject, yes, but not what the whole book was about. It was mostly a memoir of a girl growing into a woman, and her relationships along the way, including with family.
I definitely think a lot of readers will enjoy this book!
November 9, 2018
This book was given to me by the author in exchange for an honest review.
I love how the story being represented. The emotion that being developed in this book is raw. A very strong point of view by the main character. Willow is a funny character, but she capable to feel deeply. She through a lot of emotional rollercoaster involving her friendship and relationship. And finally resort to cutting herself to soothe those feelings. But she find her way back and making her life better. Filling it with love and realizing a lot of how everything change. I feel this is among the book that hard for me to finish because it caught my feeling so bad but at the same time keep make me reading it.
I love how the story being represented. The emotion that being developed in this book is raw. A very strong point of view by the main character. Willow is a funny character, but she capable to feel deeply. She through a lot of emotional rollercoaster involving her friendship and relationship. And finally resort to cutting herself to soothe those feelings. But she find her way back and making her life better. Filling it with love and realizing a lot of how everything change. I feel this is among the book that hard for me to finish because it caught my feeling so bad but at the same time keep make me reading it.
November 5, 2012
I really enjoyed this book - it was a very honest look into the life of a cutter, and her journey toward finding peace and healing. I hope that anyone who has ever cut or who currently is stumbles across this book. Hippie offers a light to grab into in the darkness of depression by providing a fresh way to look at things, and an option for how to begin taking those first steps toward healing.
Want to read
January 19, 2012I have severe MDD (major depressive disorder) and I am definitely no stranger to self injury, I am interested in seeing how the subject is handled.
May 18, 2017
*This book was given to me by the author in exchange for an honest review*
Willow’s life seems pretty good. She has great friends, she’s a great painter, she has a wonderful mother who she can just cling to whenever she needs to (even though she’s a bit flaky in other aspects), a bit of a distant father (who her mom says after the war he was a bit messed up and closed off more), and a “best friend” Jo who they can share anything with. However, Jo takes it to a more literal stand point and any time Willow even mentions feelings for a guy she may like, Jo seems to always have to go after him first. Willow and her friends are all hanging out one day when a new guy comes around named River. He seems perfect for Willow and seems to understand things in ways that her other friends don’t get. They start dating and for a while everything seems perfect. They have so many things in common and they are both just so happy together. They go on a vacation to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and sleep under the stars, and everything is fine. However when they get back, River starts to get distant and closed off. She finds out that River has started doing drugs and he breaks up with her because drugs are more important in his life then she is. She is completely heartbroken and goes through a huge depression. She gets piercings, she wears mostly black, she stops showering, she stops painting, and she just can’t seem to get any meaning in her life. So many of her friends have met other people, started relationships, and some have even started doing drugs too, so to help cope with everything, Willow starts to cut herself. She tries going to therapy but she doesn’t think she can ever get over her love of River. He was her soul mate and cutting seems to be the only thing that keeps her grounded and stabilized.
It was pretty difficult at times to keep reading. Not that the story was bad, but to read about someone who’s life is so full of happiness, friends that show up at all times of the day and they can just hang out whenever/wherever, and have so many good things going for them to have everything just crash down around them so quickly. At times I was shocked at how Willow was dealing with her issues, and I would think, “she’s acting this way over a guy who broke up with her?” but then I remember back when I was 19 and going through puberty, friendships, love, and family and realize I made a few bad choices too. My heart broke so many times for Willow and I desperately hoped that she would be able to come out of her depression and live a much more stable happy life. I do think this may be a trigger for some people who are dealing with depression, or cutting, but I do think it’s still an important story to read how one person went through it.
***Review has been done in conjunction with Nerd Girl Official. For more information regarding our reviews please visit our Fansite: www.facebook.com/NerdGirl.ng***
Willow’s life seems pretty good. She has great friends, she’s a great painter, she has a wonderful mother who she can just cling to whenever she needs to (even though she’s a bit flaky in other aspects), a bit of a distant father (who her mom says after the war he was a bit messed up and closed off more), and a “best friend” Jo who they can share anything with. However, Jo takes it to a more literal stand point and any time Willow even mentions feelings for a guy she may like, Jo seems to always have to go after him first. Willow and her friends are all hanging out one day when a new guy comes around named River. He seems perfect for Willow and seems to understand things in ways that her other friends don’t get. They start dating and for a while everything seems perfect. They have so many things in common and they are both just so happy together. They go on a vacation to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and sleep under the stars, and everything is fine. However when they get back, River starts to get distant and closed off. She finds out that River has started doing drugs and he breaks up with her because drugs are more important in his life then she is. She is completely heartbroken and goes through a huge depression. She gets piercings, she wears mostly black, she stops showering, she stops painting, and she just can’t seem to get any meaning in her life. So many of her friends have met other people, started relationships, and some have even started doing drugs too, so to help cope with everything, Willow starts to cut herself. She tries going to therapy but she doesn’t think she can ever get over her love of River. He was her soul mate and cutting seems to be the only thing that keeps her grounded and stabilized.
It was pretty difficult at times to keep reading. Not that the story was bad, but to read about someone who’s life is so full of happiness, friends that show up at all times of the day and they can just hang out whenever/wherever, and have so many good things going for them to have everything just crash down around them so quickly. At times I was shocked at how Willow was dealing with her issues, and I would think, “she’s acting this way over a guy who broke up with her?” but then I remember back when I was 19 and going through puberty, friendships, love, and family and realize I made a few bad choices too. My heart broke so many times for Willow and I desperately hoped that she would be able to come out of her depression and live a much more stable happy life. I do think this may be a trigger for some people who are dealing with depression, or cutting, but I do think it’s still an important story to read how one person went through it.
***Review has been done in conjunction with Nerd Girl Official. For more information regarding our reviews please visit our Fansite: www.facebook.com/NerdGirl.ng***
November 27, 2018
Willow a nineteen years old free spirit, hippie girl, brought up as a Mormon, is one of those character multifaceted to such an extent that the reader is never bored to turn the page. Her relationship with her mother is summed in these words by which she describes her: “ her dissociated self was the same age as me and so she just grew up with me” (pag. 55).
Her relationship with her father, Bill, who fought in Vietnam neatly stands out from these lines: “I told my dad I loved him and he offered me twenty bucks. He didn't know how to respond to that except for assuming I wanted something from him” (pag. 176)
She's an empath, above all. The author through detailed sequences that recount the development and shifts of Willow’s personality, from the status of teen to the status of adulthood, creates a compelling storytelling that conveys mostly physical and sensorial experiences. The “cutting” itself to which the girl devotes her time after she perceives that her love for River is unilateral and the people who once overcrowded her life are incapable of a deep understanding of her problems, is symptomatic of the intensity that is given to the physical emotions. Willow feels too much. She burden herself with too heavy a responsibility: to make the others’ the center of her existence. She ends up with becoming forgetful of her needs. Day by day she falls in the tunnel of depression, that causes her isolation, her lack of sociality. To be a cutter gets her a role. Self harming is a way to punish herself for not to live up to the others level. She thinks she's inadequate. She's not, instead. This moments of mental unbalance marks the fundamental transition from caterpillar to butterfly. Mogentine, the imaginary friend that opens the novel, is a butterfly. The reader is moved by the tenderness of the flashback, that describes Willow's imagination creating this first bond of affection with an entity that is the offspring of her need for friendship. After she overcome the thorny path and the greyness of depression she finally see herself as a butterfly a sort of adult Mogentine but very concrete and conscious of her mistakes. This novel is worth reading for various reasons. The first one is this is a bildungsroman, i. e. a novel of formation and education. There is the strong experience of initiation. Willow is a neophytes whose layered personality prepare the terrain for a consistent change. The second one is that being it an autobiographical recount it sounds more genuine so to be authentically helpful to those who suffer from depression and self harming issues. The reader might be surprised because there's not an happy ending though there's a good explicit. Willow now knows how to cope with anger… A must-read!
Her relationship with her father, Bill, who fought in Vietnam neatly stands out from these lines: “I told my dad I loved him and he offered me twenty bucks. He didn't know how to respond to that except for assuming I wanted something from him” (pag. 176)
She's an empath, above all. The author through detailed sequences that recount the development and shifts of Willow’s personality, from the status of teen to the status of adulthood, creates a compelling storytelling that conveys mostly physical and sensorial experiences. The “cutting” itself to which the girl devotes her time after she perceives that her love for River is unilateral and the people who once overcrowded her life are incapable of a deep understanding of her problems, is symptomatic of the intensity that is given to the physical emotions. Willow feels too much. She burden herself with too heavy a responsibility: to make the others’ the center of her existence. She ends up with becoming forgetful of her needs. Day by day she falls in the tunnel of depression, that causes her isolation, her lack of sociality. To be a cutter gets her a role. Self harming is a way to punish herself for not to live up to the others level. She thinks she's inadequate. She's not, instead. This moments of mental unbalance marks the fundamental transition from caterpillar to butterfly. Mogentine, the imaginary friend that opens the novel, is a butterfly. The reader is moved by the tenderness of the flashback, that describes Willow's imagination creating this first bond of affection with an entity that is the offspring of her need for friendship. After she overcome the thorny path and the greyness of depression she finally see herself as a butterfly a sort of adult Mogentine but very concrete and conscious of her mistakes. This novel is worth reading for various reasons. The first one is this is a bildungsroman, i. e. a novel of formation and education. There is the strong experience of initiation. Willow is a neophytes whose layered personality prepare the terrain for a consistent change. The second one is that being it an autobiographical recount it sounds more genuine so to be authentically helpful to those who suffer from depression and self harming issues. The reader might be surprised because there's not an happy ending though there's a good explicit. Willow now knows how to cope with anger… A must-read!
June 24, 2019
*This book was given to me by the author in exchange for an honest review*
I was really looking forward to reading this book, because as a teacher, I have students who have tried cutting as a form self-harm. I cannot wrap my head around the whys of this and I was hoping for insight. I didn't get any from this book. For the first 100 pages I just wanted to hurry up and finish the book. I was not warming up to any of Willow's friends and because I had a totally different upbringing, I could not relate to anything happening in her life. It truly was a "hippie" lifestyle, and being a conservative from the south, I was shaking my head a lot thinking "what in the world?" What I really wanted to know about throughout the entire book was more about her relationship with her father, but I never got the full story there. If there was another book written about that, I'd read it.
This book uses the butterfly metaphor and it is broken down into 3 parts to represent the stages of a butterfly. If part 1 had not been so drawn out, I may have given the book 4 stars. Also, if I were younger, and understood what might be a typical lifestyle in Utah, I may have even given this book a 5, but as I stated I simply could not relate to the story, and I do not feel like I am any more in tune with my students who feel the need to cut themselves as I was before reading the book.
The book is written very much like a diary, and I do believe it has a message in it, which is why I did not give the book a 2. The style of writing reminded me of personal narratives written by my 8th graders, although a lot more personal. The author is very open about her feelings and I admire her for her honesty and bravery to share so much. Perhaps those who have the desire to cut or have turned to self-harm due to depression would benefit from this book. It always helps to know that you aren't alone in the world, and the author does this to herself only a few times, and thanks to counseling is able to move on with her life in a good way. There were a few great moments in the 3rd section, which was without a doubt my favorite part of the book. It has a good message, it just wasn't the message I was hoping to get out of it.
I was really looking forward to reading this book, because as a teacher, I have students who have tried cutting as a form self-harm. I cannot wrap my head around the whys of this and I was hoping for insight. I didn't get any from this book. For the first 100 pages I just wanted to hurry up and finish the book. I was not warming up to any of Willow's friends and because I had a totally different upbringing, I could not relate to anything happening in her life. It truly was a "hippie" lifestyle, and being a conservative from the south, I was shaking my head a lot thinking "what in the world?" What I really wanted to know about throughout the entire book was more about her relationship with her father, but I never got the full story there. If there was another book written about that, I'd read it.
This book uses the butterfly metaphor and it is broken down into 3 parts to represent the stages of a butterfly. If part 1 had not been so drawn out, I may have given the book 4 stars. Also, if I were younger, and understood what might be a typical lifestyle in Utah, I may have even given this book a 5, but as I stated I simply could not relate to the story, and I do not feel like I am any more in tune with my students who feel the need to cut themselves as I was before reading the book.
The book is written very much like a diary, and I do believe it has a message in it, which is why I did not give the book a 2. The style of writing reminded me of personal narratives written by my 8th graders, although a lot more personal. The author is very open about her feelings and I admire her for her honesty and bravery to share so much. Perhaps those who have the desire to cut or have turned to self-harm due to depression would benefit from this book. It always helps to know that you aren't alone in the world, and the author does this to herself only a few times, and thanks to counseling is able to move on with her life in a good way. There were a few great moments in the 3rd section, which was without a doubt my favorite part of the book. It has a good message, it just wasn't the message I was hoping to get out of it.
June 5, 2020
Snowflake Obsidian is good for people looking for a book that focuses on an emotional mental health journey, while being written in artistic and witty prose. It's a good story to read for people who are looking to think more on the evolution of a person's mental health while they learn how to cope.
We follow Willow, a funny but deeply introspective character, as she deals with the emotional turmoil and drama caused from specific key figures in her life. Probably the most powerful aspects of this book are how it manages to discuss Willow's experience and understanding of her cutting, while learning to get help through therapy.
The writing fits perfectly with how the author seems to characterize herself. It's witty, carefree, and humorous, while also being able to create an appropriate tone around the subject matter being handled. There are many moments of deep reflection usually through metaphorical and almost a spiritualistic-style of writing (we see this as early as the prologue).
As far as what I didn't like about this book personally goes, it mostly boils down to the timing that I read it and not the actual book itself (which is why I'm giving it 4 stars, rather than 3). Some of the writing choices were not the best, but unless you're a language nerd, it probably won't deter you from this book.
Personal Note : I got a review copy of this book during the early stages of the COVID crisis, and as you can see, it's taken me months to complete it. While much of that is due to the way COVID has personally impacted my life, having made it harder for me to read non-audiobooks, I think the subject matter that this book deals with was something I began to find frightening to tackle. As someone who's been dealing with mental health problems his whole life, reading about someone else's during a time of crisis quickly became a fear of mine which made it difficult for me to take the time to sit down and read this book. Although I will say Willow's story proved to be somewhat cathartic during this time.
Thank you to Booktasters and Sage Steadman for the review copy.
We follow Willow, a funny but deeply introspective character, as she deals with the emotional turmoil and drama caused from specific key figures in her life. Probably the most powerful aspects of this book are how it manages to discuss Willow's experience and understanding of her cutting, while learning to get help through therapy.
The writing fits perfectly with how the author seems to characterize herself. It's witty, carefree, and humorous, while also being able to create an appropriate tone around the subject matter being handled. There are many moments of deep reflection usually through metaphorical and almost a spiritualistic-style of writing (we see this as early as the prologue).
As far as what I didn't like about this book personally goes, it mostly boils down to the timing that I read it and not the actual book itself (which is why I'm giving it 4 stars, rather than 3). Some of the writing choices were not the best, but unless you're a language nerd, it probably won't deter you from this book.
Personal Note : I got a review copy of this book during the early stages of the COVID crisis, and as you can see, it's taken me months to complete it. While much of that is due to the way COVID has personally impacted my life, having made it harder for me to read non-audiobooks, I think the subject matter that this book deals with was something I began to find frightening to tackle. As someone who's been dealing with mental health problems his whole life, reading about someone else's during a time of crisis quickly became a fear of mine which made it difficult for me to take the time to sit down and read this book. Although I will say Willow's story proved to be somewhat cathartic during this time.
Thank you to Booktasters and Sage Steadman for the review copy.
May 26, 2019
This is a strong read. There is a lot here but, starting with some of the negatives, which are also positives, which is exactly how this is written (and that will make sense after you read). The book is written like a journal and journal entries are often redundant and start with the same line or two, so you end up with a lot of repetition. On one hand, that is terrible (writing style- thing). On the other hand, that melodic ebb and flow allows you to drift off into the story-line and really absorb some harsh details and tough situations, then reflect on them. I liked the characters and found myself invested in them. There is a part where a friend is raped and while dealing with other things involves pages and a lot of detail, that situation was dealt with seriously but swiftly and only brought up briefly later. I wonder if perhaps it was too hard to deal with... I don't mind that, but from a "book" standpoint, I feel like it should have been really delved into or left out entirely. This book felt very teenage/young adult angst-written at times and other times I felt like that was a mask for a really deep analysis of some serious sh*t that is, frankly, hard to walk through while bringing us along for that journey. And, I respect that. It was interesting, engaging and it was hard. It was hard to read, thoughtful, painful. Well done.
September 17, 2018
This book was given to me by the author in exchange for an honest review.
I honestly was torn about how to rate this book. I respect that the author was telling her own story and therefore had to written in a manner that was comfortable to her. However, I found it to be more of a story that a teenage girl would write about her boy troubles. There were very few actual mentions about the cutting. As this was the main topic, I expected there to be more emphasis on it. The first cutting instance seemed to be made as if it was a casual comment to a bystander. The book seemed to be more based on the writer's relationships with the males in her life. I completely understand though that the writer needed to write the story their way.
All that being said, I did enjoy the book. It was an easy read and I genuinely wanted to know how things turned out for the writer. It was not as dark as I expected it to be and gave me great hope for all the characters involved.
I honestly was torn about how to rate this book. I respect that the author was telling her own story and therefore had to written in a manner that was comfortable to her. However, I found it to be more of a story that a teenage girl would write about her boy troubles. There were very few actual mentions about the cutting. As this was the main topic, I expected there to be more emphasis on it. The first cutting instance seemed to be made as if it was a casual comment to a bystander. The book seemed to be more based on the writer's relationships with the males in her life. I completely understand though that the writer needed to write the story their way.
All that being said, I did enjoy the book. It was an easy read and I genuinely wanted to know how things turned out for the writer. It was not as dark as I expected it to be and gave me great hope for all the characters involved.
February 14, 2019
This book took me awhile to get into. It is the memoir of a cutter, but mostly it is about relationships. I enjoyed the story once I got into it, but there were a lot of people to keep track of. Since the "memoir of a cutter" is part of the title, I think it could be been improved by starting there and then explaining some of the backstory instead of starting so far back in her history. I would imagine it would be difficult to write a memoir and be able to determine what should and should not be a part of the story since it's based on real events that aren't as clear cut as a written story normally is. I liked the voice of the story, and was interested in what was going to happen next. I think the title may be slightly misleading since it was a small part in a much bigger story about relationships and adolescence, but it was an interesting story to read overall.
December 24, 2020
Following Willow in her journey through depression and recovery was difficult and heartbreaking at times. There were times I put this book down because it was too close to home. Depression messes with you in so many vile and horrible ways and Willow’s cutting was a prime example of this.
Willow’s toxic relationship with her best friend is a situation I think that many girls find themselves in, especially at that age. But what is great in this story is how the author goes in depth to describe the pain that Willow experiences at the hand of her best friend, but she still wants that relationship.
This book could be triggering for some who are suffering from depression, so tread lightly.
Thank you Booktasters for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Willow’s toxic relationship with her best friend is a situation I think that many girls find themselves in, especially at that age. But what is great in this story is how the author goes in depth to describe the pain that Willow experiences at the hand of her best friend, but she still wants that relationship.
This book could be triggering for some who are suffering from depression, so tread lightly.
Thank you Booktasters for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
July 31, 2019
This book had me laughing and crying! At times I felt nostalgic for my youth, it felt like much of it could have been from my own life. Other times I could not relate at all. The author had me on the edge of my seat, I didn’t want to put it down. A very serious subject, but oftentimes very playful and funny. This is the second book I’ve read from Sage Steadman “the hippie writer” I am amazed at how descriptive her books are, I feel like I am right there in the story.
Thank you for sharing your story Sage.
Thank you for sharing your story Sage.
August 23, 2018
A book worth to read. It's about Willow, a young adult who had issues with depression that lead her to cut herself to numbed the pains she felt. Through her journey to find her real self, she learned to love herself and everyone around her. She learned that to love, she need to love herself first.
This is definitely a book worth to read. I didn't realised it was the author's own story until I finished it. It must had been tough for her to write it. But in the end, she had done a great job.
This is definitely a book worth to read. I didn't realised it was the author's own story until I finished it. It must had been tough for her to write it. But in the end, she had done a great job.
July 18, 2018
Okay this is an interesting read for me, I find it a bit dark, honestly. Although I can see how honest the writer is, about the struggles of Willow, falling for that guy and finding out her friend also likes the same guy, cutting herself (seriously it is too dark for me) I can understand how many people would like it, but sadly, I am not one of those people. I like how expressive the writer is though, and how she’s telling us that we can always find a way through it all.
July 18, 2018
The author, Sage Steadman, kindly gave me an e-book to read if I would give an honest review.
I can say that I believe this book to be well written grammatically and the characters are well fleshed out.
This book is geared for a teenager or very young adult and as I am neither, I didn’t find it interesting. It was a bit too gossipy for my taste but I believe that an older teenager may enjoy it.
Sent from my iPhone
I can say that I believe this book to be well written grammatically and the characters are well fleshed out.
This book is geared for a teenager or very young adult and as I am neither, I didn’t find it interesting. It was a bit too gossipy for my taste but I believe that an older teenager may enjoy it.
Sent from my iPhone
June 5, 2019
Left it in between, like I've been leaving all books as of late(it's the pregnancy hormones making me leave books in the middle xc). However, the book was of a completely different category than what I'm used to and to be honest, it was a good read while it lasted. Even for a memoir, this type of book was different and I liked the way Will told her story. I just wish I could complete reading it, maybe in future...
- M. K
- M. K
July 15, 2018
It took me a while to finish this book. Not because it wasn't a page turner, but because I didn't want it to end. The author's sense of humor is unparalleled! She was writing about a sensitive issue in such an agreeable manner. Her writing is both fluid and suave! I'm definitely going to read her other books soonest!
July 19, 2018
This was a very "soul" searching and profoundly relatable story. It took me back to a time of awkwardness in youth to heartbreak in adulthood to learning to accept me. Our coping mechanisms are all different, but this story reminds us that "effective" coping is critical to our sanity and our survival.
October 17, 2018
This is a story of a true story. A true story that happens to so many people daily. As i was reading it, it hit hard. It brought back the high school days I had. This is definitely worth a read, if you are triggered easily I would cautiously read it. Recommend it to people. I couldn't put it down even with the emotions i was feeling.
September 26, 2019
This book deals with difficult issues that some still people dont want to know about and the fact that cutting isnt really touched on. This book is definitely one that can really help some people. I loved reading it. I suffer depression and anxiety so I know some of the feelings.
August 13, 2020
Obsidian snowflake is a brilliantly written book which touches the life of a teenage girl in a very touching way but compellingly so. Definitely a must read!
January 19, 2013
This story was not what I was expecting at all. It's written well and has snappy humor, nice descriptions of places and people. Definitely for young people that have an attitude of entitlement. I found Willow spoiled and self centered yet very sensitive to her friends. For being 19 years old she is extremely immature, living at home, having her friends over all the time etc....Traveling on you parents dime didn't seem much appreciated. "Bill" as you called him went to Vietnam so you can have all the freedoms you enjoy, yet not one once of gratitude. I have a younger daughter who's Grandfather died in Vietnam and has more understanding of the sacrifice of that than Willow had at 19 for her dad.
Then finally when Willow gets a job, working with Autistic people all she can say is one is pinching her nipples and she has to go get help and then when the guy does switch with her, she goes into the other persons room that has written on the walls with his own feces and she then needs help cleaning it...seriously that's all she got out of working with disabled people. Nothing else??? Self absorbed a bit! Clearly she had no training for the work, but to write so negatively about people with disabilities was the height of being self absorbed.
When Willow starts cutting there is not much explanation on what her feelings were and what it did for her.
Regarding River, really your soul mate....doing drugs and sleeping around, not a problem if you are both on the same page, but clearly that's not what you wanted and River saying it didn't mean anything sleeping with all those girls and doing drugs, please it meant he was having fun and enjoyed it. Your friend Jo is a toxic friend staying friends with her doesn't so much show forgiveness as poor decision making.
Your pain is your pain and how you dealt with it seemed to worked for you at the time. When looking at a big picture of your story it just seemed like you didn't have it all that rough. Clearly you were a late bloomer because your story at 19 yrs plus read more like a Junior High or High School issues.
This well written book reads like a reality tv show or day time drama for young adults. It will be a fabulous read for young adults who are super sensitive to their surroundings and have not learned to make the best choices. It is not for a cutters who have had a lot of trauma or abuse in their lives.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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