Celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month

Zaheer Khan > Zaheer's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 168
« previous 1 3 4 5 6
sort by

    like
  • #1
    “Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor
    86 likes

    • like
  • #2
    Mark Twain
    “I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor
    2991 likes

    • like
  • #3
    “I can't fight.
    I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: absurd
    77 likes

    • like
  • #4
    “Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.”
    ― Woody Allen
    67 likes

    • like
  • #5
    “In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”
    ― Woody Allen
    67 likes

    • like
  • #6
    “I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”
    ― Woody Allen
    74 likes

    • like
  • #7
    “Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK?
    It'll be a year come April 20th.
    I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: absurd
    74 likes

    • like
  • #8
    J.K. Rowling
    “Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.
    "Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    tags: albus-potter, fame, harry-potter, humor, ron-weasley
    5054 likes

    • like
  • #9
    Dr. Seuss
    “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”
    ― Dr. Seuss
    tags: humor, philosophy
    5097 likes

    • like
  • #10
    Stephanie Klein
    “Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.”
    ― Stephanie Klein, Straight Up and Dirty
    tags: humor, life, memoir, truth
    5114 likes

    • like
  • #11
    John Green
    “Some people have lives; some people have music.”
    ― John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson
    tags: humor, life, music
    5098 likes

    • like
  • #12
    Terry Pratchett
    “If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
    tags: cats, humor, life
    5122 likes

    • like
  • #13
    A.A. Milne
    “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
    ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
    tags: humor, idleness, inspirational
    5302 likes

    • like
  • #14
    Winston S. Churchill
    “My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: humor, taste
    5960 likes

    • like
  • #15
    Mark Twain
    “What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, men, women
    4676 likes

    • like
  • #16
    Mark Twain
    “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: arrogance, humor, ignorance
    4181 likes

    • like
  • #17
    George Carlin
    “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor
    3879 likes

    • like
  • #18
    J.K. Rowling
    “Why were you lurking under our window?"
    "Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
    "Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
    His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
    "Listening to the news! Again?"
    "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
    tags: dursley, harry-potter, humor, news, sarcasm
    3736 likes

    • like
  • #19
    Will Rogers
    “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
    ― Will Rogers
    tags: enterprise, humor, inertia, inspirational
    3592 likes

    • like
  • #20
    Dorothy Parker
    “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: beauty, classic-insult, humor, ugly
    3568 likes

    • like
  • #21
    Terry Pratchett
    “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    tags: humor, life
    3544 likes

    • like
  • #22
    George Carlin
    “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, misattributed-george-carlin, stupidity
    3468 likes

    • like
  • #23
    Karen Marie Moning
    “I love books, by the way, way more than movies. Movies tell you what to think. A good book lets you choose a few thoughts for yourself. Movies show you the pink house. A good book tells you there's a pink house and lets you paint some of the finishing touches, maybe choose the roof style,park your own car out front. My imagination has always topped anything a movie could come up with. Case in point, those darned Harry Potter movies. That was so not what that part-Veela-chick, Fleur Delacour, looked like.”
    ― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever
    tags: books, humor, reading
    3079 likes

    • like
  • #24
    Charlotte Brontë
    “No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"

    "They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.

    "And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"

    "A pit full of fire."

    "And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"

    "No, sir."

    "What must you do to avoid it?"

    I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”
    ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
    tags: children, hell, humor, religion
    2912 likes

    • like
  • #25
    Charles Lamb
    “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
    ― Charles Lamb
    2838 likes

    • like
  • #26
    Cassandra Clare
    “Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?"
    Isabelle shrugged philosophically. "I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt.”
    ― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes
    tags: alec-lightwood, city-of-ashes, clean, dirt, humor, isabelle-lightwood, sarcasm
    2694 likes

    • like
  • #27
    Douglas Adams
    “Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
    ― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
    tags: humor, novelist, science-fiction
    2670 likes

    • like
  • #28
    Mae West
    “Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, sex
    2570 likes

    • like
  • #29
    “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.”
    ― Ellen DeGeneres
    tags: age, exercise, family, grandmothers, grandparents, humor, walking
    2452 likes

    • like
  • #30
    Lemony Snicket
    “If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!”
    ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid
    tags: humor, optimist
    1991 likes



Rss
« previous 1 3 4 5 6
All Quotes



Tags From Zaheer’s Quotes

humor
absurd
albus-potter
fame
harry-potter
ron-weasley
philosophy
life
memoir
truth
music
cats
idleness
inspirational
taste
men
women
arrogance
ignorance
dursley
news
sarcasm
enterprise
inertia
beauty
classic-insult
ugly
attributed-no-source
human-nature
misattributed-george-carlin
stupidity
books
reading
children
hell
religion
alec-lightwood
city-of-ashes
clean
dirt
isabelle-lightwood
novelist
science-fiction
sex
age
exercise
family
grandmothers
grandparents
walking
optimist