——- so do you happen to remember when i said that i would hold off on romance- okay well forget all of that because my boyfriend bought me oh! well! ew.
——- so do you happen to remember when i said that i would hold off on romance- okay well forget all of that because my boyfriend bought me this and it was thirty fucking dollars. THIRTY DOLLARS. i could buy so much shit for that crazy amount of money [my net worth] so next time you see me solemnly swearing something, feel free to question my credibility <3...more
little mini update on this. alice and henry you are better than what i have given you :3 but my point hopefully still stands— i’m too lazy to rewrite little mini update on this. alice and henry you are better than what i have given you :3 but my point hopefully still stands— i’m too lazy to rewrite this review anyways so !!!
—— i don't know what to think of this book. it was..okay.
spoilers!
(also contains spoilers for this time it's real)
if you could see the sun starts off in typical ann liang fashion, with the female protagonist getting a shocking revelation from unsupportive parents, complaining about how she's barely recognized by her peers, and thinking hateful thoughts about her beautiful yet horrible academic rival. again. for the third book in a row.
look. i've only read three cheesy ann liang romances. they just..all seem to follow the same characters and storyline. if you enjoy repetitiveness or find comfort in this, hey, more power to you. but i'm getting slightly tired of reading about a boy who's rude at first but secretly likes taylor swift, which apparently makes him a green flag (it does) regardless of how scathing he may have been to our main character, who's a straight a smart girl with a significant amount of parental pressure that sees the easy way out of a difficult situation and has to navigate a new life with help from said boy. who she finds annoying and he adores her for it.
don't get me wrong, i love the character templates above. (especially the last sentence, i will eat that shit up like there's no tomorrow.) i've read countless fluffy romances that can essentially be summarized in that one statement, and i've also probably rated them 4-5 stars. sue me. and i also really like reading about alice/sadie/eliza's struggles and how they grapple with newfound popularity (whether that be good or bad). but at one point, which is now for me, it becomes boring.
essentially, this book had all the dullness of what it's like to read the same old book for the millionth time, and alice also had none of sadie or eliza's self-awareness.
but then again, henry was cute. i repeated this in my head when alice was getting on my nerves.
alice sun - alice’s inner monologue and priorities were distant and all out of wack. her maturity was akin to a disney channel character's, and pages, pages were written about her fixation with money. and the invisibility! oh, god, the invisibility. it made no sense. and alice didn't even use it for good most of the time! what she did use her new power for was to embarrass people, cheat on a test, and even consider kidnapping someone for cash.
i'm sorry, but a few nice quotes and…henry won't make up for a genuinely unlikable character. the only aspect of this book that made me think of her as less of a questionable student was her romance with henry (babygirl), which was barely in the book.
henry was cute, henry was cute, henry was cute.
and for your own enjoyment, here's a page or so that made me cringe. it was supposed to be all badass, go fuck yourself i win bitch, i have a lawyer hear me roar. but, well, decide for yourself.
"you literally hired me to kidnap peter." "you-you were the one who kidnapped him." "only under your orders," "i may be complicit, but you're the one who's guilty." i shoot back...with two fingers, i pull out the bmw keys i've been keeping in my pocket and hold them up in plain view... "your men dropped these the other night," i say pleasantly. his mouth opens and closes like a goldfish..."you can't really prove the car-" "can't i? what if i matched up the keys to the license plate?" i speak over him, savoring the look on andrew's face when he recognizes the number. wow, this feels even better than answering a kahoot question correctly in front of the class. (oh my god.) "between that, the message you sent me on beijing ghost, and the lawyer henry's going to lend me, the evidence is kind of stacked against you." killed it, alice. i mean, come on. did this not radiate the end of a disney channel spy movie where the protagonist realizes all along it was the trustworthy sidekick who fucked things up and somehow also has the resources necessary to convict them of heinous actions? maybe i'm just not the target audience, but it was such an unsatisfying end to an unsatisfying story.
moving on.
henry li - such a nice guy. i've always liked ann liang's mmcs: they're so dependable and willing to put up with a ton of shit from multiple people in their lives. the best thing about henry is how he grounded alice as she fantasized about money and brought her back to reality many times. he was even sympathetic and tried to relate to her non-existent morals! i mean, what a guy.
so sweet, so caring, and utterly unselfish, even when he wasn't sure about alice's character. yes, he should've sticked to that gut feeling, but to be honest, i was confident i would finish this book solely because of him.
the plot - it was so wacky and crazy and a lil’ silly: just a cycle of events where alice kept getting assignments from her app, then sometimes she and henry would connect, and occasionally chanel would pop in, essentially saving a chapter. this all abruptly ended when alice got an assignment to kidnap someone. like, blindfold, put chloroform to their mouth, dark room..the whole shebang.
the introduction of this entirely new (illegal, but that’s not important, silly goose!) operation stilted the book and piqued my interest in a bad way. the last fifty pages consisted of confrontations, accusations, and multiple climaxes. i've noticed this in a few ann liang books. to give you an example, in “this time it's real”, at the very end of the book, we are introduced to the possibility that caz is dead! i like to think that ann believes her books need a little more spice, and in true telenovela fashion, writes out a fake death, or in this case, a heist.
three stars for henry and chanel. and the side characters in this book were sweet. i also liked that one stunt they did where alice saves rainie from exploitation. it was a breath of fresh air from so many romances where the main character just hates women for no reason. so while alice could be a criminal in a few years, at least she will never make fun of a girl's pant-size. let's count our wins!
i wouldn't recommend reading this, but it wasn't a waste of time, i guess. and i'll definitely read what ann releases in the future. her new books look incredibly interesting and original. but this one wasn't. ------------------ pre-review: hmm. i liked henry....more
argghh, where do i start. well, first of all, i did not finish this one. believe me, i don’t usually leave books unfinished. in fact, there are only 2argghh, where do i start. well, first of all, i did not finish this one. believe me, i don’t usually leave books unfinished. in fact, there are only 2 or 3 books on my dnf shelf. but it was just too horrible of an idea to pass up on the wonderful opportunity of acting like i’m a picky reviewer!
yes, i will be marking it as read. don’t shame me, you’re not perfect either. i’m not that person that just wants to add to her reading goal, she said fully knowing that she was lying to people’s faces.
i’m not a hard girl to please. give me anything from costco, i’m a happy gal. costco croissants? chef’s kiss for the lamination. their churros? my car is literally covered in cinnamon sugar from a late night costco run three days ago. in fact, i’ve been known to give the best reactions to underwhelming birthday gifts. and emma lord knows that. both of the books i’ve read from her (what an extensive collection, #1 fan who?) were hits for me. she always delivers on plots, weird traditions, and ya goodness. and yes, admittedly, what i learned from this book was that she should just keep writing books for teens. i will say, i have a soft spot for anything ya though.
no, i will not recount the plot for you. unlike the author of this book, i will spare you from the monstrosity that is fake dating when she writes it. instead, i’m going to tell you my problems with this book without 1. spoilers, 2. names, and 3. context. you're welcome! reading this felt like one of those dreams you have when you take a short nap and wake up 300 centuries later, so i literally have no recollection of some parts of this book.
one. diversity. not that there wasn't enough diversity, but the why behind each of the characters. yes, it’s always wonderful when we see representations of ourselves in beloved book people. and maybe some little girl will see herself in sana, so for that, hopefully emma lord inspired her and then those interesting (to say the least) thoughts about diversity would’ve helped someone. but it was apparent that emma could’ve had a checklist for things she needed to include in her book.
- bakery with landowner telling weird-ass main character it’s time to get out of the owl house - chemistry and a connection (if she has time, you know how hard it is to fit that in these days) - most importantly…diverse best friend who’s only purpose is to help main character and be diverse and write diverse things!
my friend is telegu and also got an arc for this book. what she found, and i wholeheartedly agree with, is that it’s often worse to have a character of color who’s sole job is to be of color, than no representation at all. treating characters of color as if they are so different and so special and so worthy of sympathy doesn’t give you a sticker. in fact, it strengthens the stereotype that people of color are in need of help from everybody else! representation isn’t always good representation. sana was written with countless micro-aggressions that were incredibly out of touch, and it was like lord set out on a mission to make sure she wrote the most stereotypical character of color there was.
two. steam? more like fog. what comes with writing an adult book is inevitably adult material. i feel barely old enough to read steamy scenes, and always skip them. call me a wimp, they’re just not for me. but what sex scenes/moments of intimacy can develop are strong connections between characters and emotional bonds that we get to witness in the pages of our books. since emma is such a master at writing young characters who don’t need to have sex or make out in order to truly enjoy each other’s company, i expected the chemistry between our two main characters to be even better with more tools in her belt.
but no. somehow, i was even more disconnected from their relationship than i was with lord’s ya books! thank god this isn’t ya, because i don’t know if i would’ve made it past the 5-page mark. both the characters were just so two-dimensional, so their chemistry and moments together fell flat.
i’m so disappointed, firstly because i hate giving bad reviews for an arc, and secondly: emma’s ya is a breath of fresh air. interesting storylines woven in with witty prose. i so do adore emma’s ya books, but this was an old unoriginal ali hazelwood romance doled out at starbucks moms’ meet and greets or green juice cleansing afternoons with beverly hills dentists. the gen-z name-dropping didn’t help either, but i guess i signed up for that because of the oops-we-went-viral trope. should’ve been a red flag from the start, right?
sadly, i would not recommend. i hope emma can explore different facets of herself as a romance author with new ideas she can unlock now that she’s stepping outside of ya, even if i won’t ever read any of her new adult books! in my opinion, ya is the way to go for her now.
1 star for the beach vibes. the obscure celebrity references weren’t enough to save this book.
insert crying meme face here (yes this is a reference, and no. don’t read this book to find out!)
—————————————————— pre-review: and she never trusted her instincts or her lord emma again.
friends-to-lovers is always a hit or miss, but i trust in my lord and savior…emma lord! (also apparently they go “viral” so we’ll see if i’m going to be engulfed in weird vampire diaries fanfiction, obscure celebrity name-dropping, and rainbow bagel references?)
the verdict’s in: irene could convince me to commit several murders in various suspicious states and scottie’s just scottie.
mild spoilers!
“she drives the verdict’s in: irene could convince me to commit several murders in various suspicious states and scottie’s just scottie.
mild spoilers!
“she drives me crazy” starts off with a heartbroken scottie, throwing games and letting down her team. we read glimpses of scottie’s relationship with tally, and learn that the downfall of their love was tally wanting more for herself.
scottie’s undiagnosed anger issues come to light after losing a brutal game to her ex-girlfriend, and ends up crashing into irene’s car. scottie tells us that this is because irene towed her car at a party. why? we don’t really know. scottie and irene end up having to carpool, and scottie ends up using this situation to her advantage with the time-old classic: a fake dating scheme.
scottie. i could sympathize with her more at the beginning of the book, because her longing for tally was so palpable. and as always, i slightly despise the person who comes up with the forever fabulous idea of “dating” and not catching feelings; because in the end, they end up taking advantage of the “it’s not real” part of the situation. but i just couldn’t connect with scottie, and this was because of her reasoning.
you make out with someone at a party. fine. you’re heartbroken. get over yourself, but whatever.
”things got out of hand. she got drunk and was totally miserable and, and i let her kiss me. but then i stopped it.” what i hate about this is that i was genuinely screaming GET OVER IT into the ether. but what i do love is that scottie makes mistakes. her pleading, whimpering..it’s a first love crapfest, so we give her space but we also daydream about one day kicking her.
irene. i don’t think i’m ever going to be able to do justice to this fabulous character. you might be turned off by my descriptions of scottie, but read this for irene. SHE REMEMBERED THE SONG SCOTTIE PLAYED ON THEIR FIRST DRIVE. if that’s not green flag material, i don’t know what is. i also love how irene handled her own problems, but i just wish that she told scottie why she towed her car in the first place! (scottie holding a grudge for so long after seeing the real irene was kind of funny) but where would the drama be? if you’re not in love with irene yet, here.
“but i’m a-“ “ginger? she tsks. “yeah, it’s surprising to me too, but i did have a thing for anne of green gables in second grade.” the girls will be rushing to get red hair dye after this, irene. (and by the girls, i mean me)
we lean our foreheads together, breathing. “i want to get to a place where i’m ready for you,” i whisper. “just get to a place where you know how wonderful you are”, she whispers back. “they’re one and the same.” I’M READY. I AM. YES, ME.
i will never understand why irene fell in love with charlotte. (there’s a special place in hell for lottie) but their storyline was so heartbreaking and i was way more invested in their relationship than scottie and tally’s lovefest. also would 100% read a sequel from irene’s pov..i wish this entire book was from irene’s pov.
3 stars for irene and only for irene. but also..for their moments together. THE ONE BED TROPE WAS DONE (almost) PERFECTLY IN THIS BOOK. and i hate one bed tropes with all my heart. they’re up there with pregnancy and mysterious disease. most of the time it’s written where the two middle aged main characters definitely have enough money to get a different room, but stay together for the apparently wild sex heck of it. here’s an example from an actual book that i read. and yes i bought it at the airport.
emily heaved a sigh. a bed at last. as sam trudged in, they both realized the inevitable. right there, in the center of the room, sat a thin bed fit for 2. emily cursed the gods as she lugged in a suitcase that sam hadn’t bothered to help her with.
1 chapter later.
sam grunted as he carried emily onto the bed. with a low growl, he gave silent thanks to the hotel for this wonderful situation they had going on.
but none of that happened. no lust. just an actual connection <3 they fell asleep together! how cute is that? honestly, i wish they’d stayed up talking all night. watched a movie or ordered 3am room service..really piled on the cheese. however, no one was taken advantage of, and i the reader was a very happy gal. and yes, the third act conflict was messy and understandably off-putting. but it resolved itself cutely so i’m okay.
2 stars taken off because scottie didn’t give irene any gifts or sweet compliments. at least a car, a house, a large diamond ring? zip. scottie just didn’t do anything that would make me think she deserved her. BUT I DO. (no i don’t)
overall, i love kelly quindlen’s writing and would love to read more from her! the plot was so very compelling and some perspectives in this book were refreshing after a shit-ton of rom-coms where boy meets girl, boy hates girl, boy loves girl, boy marries girl.
“she drives me crazy” is a heartfelt rom-com with incredible side characters and a just okay main character that i hope you’ll read soon if you get the chance.
—————————————————— review to come if irene puts a ring on my finger
pre-review: queer enemies-to-lovers? forced proximity? i need this in my life immediately....more
check and mate is not a good book. like a one out of five. or a zero if i’m cranky.
it follows the life of mallory greenleaf after she destroys nolan scheck and mate is not a good book. like a one out of five. or a zero if i’m cranky.
it follows the life of mallory greenleaf after she destroys nolan sawyer, a chess prodigy and soon to be collector of exes and jail cards, in chess after seven years of never touching a pawn.
but adira– of course this book is going to be unrealistic! it's a romance novel..you fool. you’re so dumb, go take a walk, my guy!
yes, but throughout check and mate, i felt so disconnected from the chess part of it. where was the logic? where was the research ali seemingly did over the course of maybe a few minutes? i’ll tell you where it was, all crumpled up in the bottom of the writer barrel. because if she did research chess, it didn’t make it into the book. it seemed like hazelwood only included the game to have something with substance. and she did it! congrats, hazelwood.
mallory: i said this and i will say it again. mallory might be the best ali hazelwood main character i have ever come across. she was so...contrasting: mallory works at a garage and doesn't undermine any female she comes across. that’s instantly amazing for my incredibly low standards. i also liked that the author talked about mallory's past trauma with chess. i always wish that they went deeper into a character's past issues (when that character's problems are instantly resolved from some good sex and dirty talk.) i think that this could be solved if i started straying towards that wonderful subgenre of literary fic that has intertwined romance plotlines, but sally rooney as a hobby is just too expensive.
anyways, mallory bore the weight of her dad's death. that's not going to go away as soon as nolan raspily asks if she has a condom in her backpack. it’s gonna take time and hopefully therapy! i love when there’s an hea guaranteed, but i’d like it to at least have common sense. also, about the inferior bug that is nolan sawyer, mallory felt that there was something off about him from the beginning. of course this all disappeared as soon as they had sex, but i'm glad she had good instincts at the start, because nolan sawyer is the worst.
nolan: i'm sorry, when did i agree to read about a 19-year old creep that maintains all the wonderful parts of a stalker while still including themes of pedophilia in his character? i think he can be best described in this quote down below.
update— when life gives you a book by lynn painter, run.
nothing like a whiny, petulant girl and an emotionally immature man to get me in my feels.
lynnupdate— when life gives you a book by lynn painter, run.
nothing like a whiny, petulant girl and an emotionally immature man to get me in my feels.
lynn, why? why disappoint me so?
spoilers in this review
on to the characters. how is it possible that they both give me a migraine?
olivia is a little girl in this big, big world. she's nearing 30, but makes me wonder about the mental state of the person who handed her that graduation cap. when her boyfriend decides to eat cake out of a so-called slut's belly button (i'll talk about that later), livvie gets mad.
so of course, like a mature, responsible person, she burns down her apartment. the whole thing felt like a fever dream or an olivia rodrigo music video (for some people, that’s the same thing). now, with $30 in her bank account and a kick in her stride, olivia has to live with her big brother and his..roommate.
colin is a big boy in this small, small world. oh, and i think olivia would agree with me on my unrelated question: how many times should a girl mention his "annoying abs that stare at me, beckoning, like eight eyes searching my soul"? i'll answer, teacher! definitely not 11. yes, 11. there was more than a paragraph in this book solely dedicated to collie's physique. (i will admit, i added the eight eyes part, but didn't it brighten your day?)
anyways, as soon as colin sets his eye on little livvie liv-erson, the curve of her ass (and the fact that she has the emotional maturity of 5, wow how attractive) instantly turned him on. i mean, there's nothing quite like a toxic friends-with-benefits situationship that makes me go "i really shouldn't have eaten those mashed potatoes for lunch."
kind of the worst but somehow the best (because that's how bad this book gets!) part of this book; the plot. for your own good, i'll save you the long summary and highlight the plot with a few bullet points.
- colin and olivia meet. they exchange a few cursory words. but secretly, they have amateur-at-best banter through their phones, anonymously. ooh!
- they scoot around each other for a few weeks, but eventually the lust takes over. now, THIS is what makes me mad! i'm 19, and never in my wildest dreams would i ever agree to a deal as dumb as it gets. they're both 30. 30! so why would they both decide to have some (apparently) good sex with no strings attached? don't ask me.
- somehow, colin is guilt-free about his secret identity throughout this book. it's the good old, definitely not overused, boy knows something about girl, girl knows...nothing.
- by the end of the book, olivia's mad. again. colin gives her a weak apology and she forgives him. the end! in the next book, love wager, which i rated 1 star but is somehow worse than mr. wrong number, colin and olivia get married.
i'm sorry, but no way in any universe, even one where the friends-with-benefits thing works out, does this toxic steaming mess go as far as "'till death do us part". i give them 2 months until he falls in love with his work wife or something.
lynn needs to learn that banter can't save a relationship.
even though colin and olivia had 3-5 snappy conversations, it still wasn’t enough to save me from the “we’re just two people who like sex. that’s it, colin!” line. yes, olivia. that is literally all you are. if you just started listening to your hard-hitting one liners, maybe we’d finally be going somewhere. they have to have an emotional connection with one another for readers to fall in love with (or tolerate) them.
i'm not completely sorry for olivia. i am sorry that someone cheated on her. no one deserves that. but if she knew eli wasn't the one for her, she really should have ended it before he realized it himself.
and it's completely valid to hate the guy’s guts.
listen to his least favorite songs. maybe change your facebook status to “it’s complicated” to make him squint. or see if any of your coworkers are looking fine today.
but did you have to call her a slut? and are you really the poster girl for honesty? you did fake your identity to get a job, and not by telling your boss "i actually do have a degree, miss!"
you told her you were a mom. you bonded over fellow mommy stories, and spit out various amounts of your lunches laughing about your "kids'" antics. if that had happened to me, i wouldn't have just fired you. i would have blocked your ass and had a few drinks or a steak on your tab. no way do you use my hypothetical kids as a means to earn money.
(and are you really poor if you have "eat the rich" boxer shorts? mull over it, liv.)
then obviously she found out and dismissed you; naturally you whined about it. so maybe don't be so hypocritical.
if i had to tell you my thoughts on this book in a few sentences, i would direct you to the quotes down below. i'm so sorry.
quotes:
“she’s beautiful.” she was, too. swear to god my ears had started ringing when she’d climbed on my lap out on her balcony. “but she’s like a helpless, pathetic little puppy. just make her feel good and get out.” is there a signup sheet for dipshits that need to book an appointment at an otolaryngologist's office? i’m just asking ‘cause wow! dream guy alert!
"i put my hands on his biceps and squeezed." every girl's dream. to hell with careers and families! I WANT BICEPS. not my biceps. MEN'S BICEPS.
"it was too dark to really see anything other than the curve of her backside." yeah, cause asses always glow in the dark.
in the words of olivia marshall, holy balls. this book sucked....more
when you start a book, then forget it actually exists, give it another chance only to look up what the main character's name is 50% through the book, when you start a book, then forget it actually exists, give it another chance only to look up what the main character's name is 50% through the book, but you spill your iced coffee all over your kindle so you have to borrow it from your local library and for some reason even though you're #1 in the queue it takes four weeks to actually become available, so you curse fate and drag it along with you on a girls trip to saint-tropez, but it's a girls trip so the only reading you do is half of a crappy diner’s menu, and finally on the night after exams week you fall asleep 3 chapters before the end but that counts as finishing the book because you think that your journey together might be cursed.
great book. maybe a 6/10. follmuth is a great writer! sometimes this book was boring but i think that might’ve been my fault. and it was confusing— possibly my fault as well. and her prose winded down like a really long nap or trail that you’re purposefully walking for the sake of “exercise”…i don’t think that’s my fault.
---- pre-review: i am absolutely positive i will forget every tiny itsy-bitsy part of this tomorrow....more
after reading this book, i am fully convinced that i’m in love with sadie. fully convinced.
academic rivals to lovers finds a home in ann liang’s new bafter reading this book, i am fully convinced that i’m in love with sadie. fully convinced.
academic rivals to lovers finds a home in ann liang’s new book: i hope this doesn’t find you starts off with a high school girl named sadie wen, constantly competing against her academic rival, julius gong. sadie and julius are both school captains, and the only ones preventing them from academic glory are each other.
sadie’s life changes in an instant when all her hate mails, the ones she writes when she feels like she is about to snap, get sent out. sadie has to face betrayed “friends”, her carefully crafted school reputation crumbling, and julius gong’s wrath (beautiful face).
sadie wen. one of the best liang fmcs, maybe the best? she was just simply incredible. the layers behind sadie’s actions, and her pure willpower were just so relatable & fresh. i could see myself behind every one of sadie’s decisions, her outbursts, and her dedication to take care of the people around her. was sadie perfect? of course not. but the steps she took to repair relationships and her logical thinking are just two reasons why people will fall in love with this truly beautiful character.
julius gong. while i didn’t see that much depth in julius, he was an interesting mmc and i really enjoyed seeing his relationship with sadie develop. behind his carefully crafted facade was a human being that genuinely cared about sadie, and i’m so glad that he gave her the love that she deserved.
plot: the concept of “i hope this doesn’t find you” is so good: it’s everything i want in a book, really. what was surprising was that sadie and julius genuinely hated each other. the vivid descriptions of sadie's loathing remarks and julius' constant side eyes made me believe that those two would never work things out! what i'm trying to say, is that it was hard to believe those feelings would ever change in the first few chapters of the book.
anyways, clearly ann liang does the enemies to lovers trope justice. this book’s storyline wasn’t choppy at all, and everybody’s character arcs were very well done. however, itwas a little hard to get into, and i felt detached from parts of the story, which is why i’m rating it four stars. i also felt like some characters, like abigail or even sadie’s brother, were underdeveloped and had more to them that i didn’t really get to see.
yes, i’m picky. this is the part where i whine about grammatical errors, which really isn’t a problem since this is an arc. but there were a full 3 chapters (maybe this was a glitch in my copy) where every word took up one line. that was a solid 25 pages of words like this! hopefully these errors will be fixed before the release date, and perfectionists like me will be able to enjoy this amazing book without having to put down the book out of frustration.
anyways, i think we can all agree that ann liang is a master at creating relatable characters and strong relationships, whether they take form in a mother and a daughter or two lovers. this book is another one of her beautiful stories, and i can’t wait to read more from her.
—————————————————— pre-review: writing emails about people i hate is definitely a bucket list item. thank you to the publisher/netgalley for the arc!...more
”i guess my point is that i do believe in love. really. i’m just not convinced that kind of love could spoilers
read with mitra <3
i needed an epilogue!
”i guess my point is that i do believe in love. really. i’m just not convinced that kind of love could ever happen to me.”
i. loved. this. book. even though it didn’t grab my attention right from the start, liang made up for it with a beautiful plot and a likable couple <3
eliza - truly herself, eliza isn’t afraid to say what she wants. her inner monologue is so truthful and raw. i felt myself at times agreeing with some of her secrets, and i definitely now have a soft spot for her! (no i don’t)
however, i was annoyed at her stubborn persistency to reject caz. what the fuck was that? i just ended a horrible relationship, and fuck. i’d marry caz if he asked. eliza was just too scared, and that made me like her a lot less. it’s okay to be scared of taking risks. but passing opportunities by is agony for any reader to take.
i especially adored how liang portrayed eliza and zoe’s relationship through writing, specifically, them drifting apart. well, i didn't adore it, but it was so realistic and…heartbreaking. how many of us have wished to talk to that friend that understood you a few years back, but now you watch their life happen on a screen? how many of us look at their moments pass by through instagram captions that you once dreamt up with them in their house that you so fondly remember?
my heart goes out to long-distance friends. (me + everyone in my life) anyways, it aligned with my life experiences perfectly.
caz - no words. i was afraid he'd be overly self-righteous.. however, caz was the perfect partner! he’s likable, sarcastic, and treats eliza like the queen she is. (debatable)
caz approached their relationship with honesty and made sure eliza never got hurt. (ugh. where's the sign-up sheet for ann liang's mmcs? i'm waiting.)
he was just so nice to her, which was a little unnerving for me after reading so many bad boy romances where he "set her straight" and "looked her up and down with a fire burning in his eyes"
plot - this book moved at a pretty steady pace, with ann giving us sweet glimpses into shopping dates and vulnerable movie nights. until she gave me a scare near the end!
i’m sorry, what WAS the last 5% of this book? he “died”?! i kind of wanted a soft, whole-hearted confession with caz and eliza sitting next to one another in that closet in the start! then untangling their thoughts until i burst from epilogue excitement? I WAS ROBBED. i got “you’re dead, pookie?” + “boo, bitch. now date me” and for what?
essentially, the last 25 pages felt like an almost unnatural whirlwind. it felt like ann tied loose ends in a rush, however the story ended exactly how i wanted it to, so no points taken off for the unnecessary drama. (some points taken off)
now, i’ll close this off with a formal complaint and plea for an epilogue. (template ex: caz and eliza living together with a million fluffy kittens and a couple dozen chinese food stalls nearby)
“It takes so little for me to love someone, yet so long for me to move on.” AAAAH (bangs head)...more
updated 1 star rating because i actually hated this book. but if you loved it, i’m happy for you! i wish i loved this one like you did.
not so sadly, iupdated 1 star rating because i actually hated this book. but if you loved it, i’m happy for you! i wish i loved this one like you did.
not so sadly, i've decided that lynn's books aren't for me. don't worry, this was a decision based on many factors. (i.e. my ratings for her other books) but i always expressed my dislike for them through horrible fear-inducing quotes from her books about sex, though i have a theory that they're actually interpretations of edvard munch's “the scream”.
spoilers
“betting on you” starts with two people meeting in an airport. let me just state that i miss the old meet-cutes: childhood best friends, you spill coffee on me and then 20 years later we're force-feeding that same coffee to our 10 year old, that shit. you know? this meet-cute was horrific. NO GOOD ROMANCE starts off with the fmc watching the mmc literally suction the shit out of a random girl's face, and then complain about commitment issues 5 minutes later. after reading said scene, i could immediately tell that i would hate charlie.
anyways, the first few chapters are flashbacks before bailey and charlie truly meet. then they talk? bond? a whole ton of crap happens in this book with no connection: charlie and bailey fake date for no apparent reason while they both try to sabotage bailey's mom's boyfriend, also place a bet about their friends' relationship, all while deal with possible feelings/traumas.
whew, that was a pain to type out, let alone read. as you can see, the plot consists of...nothing. that's right. nothing important happens in this book.
there were, however, 5 chapters of banter, 3 entire pages describing an incredibly passionate make-out session, and so many pop culture references, but no actual story.
you can take a look at the summary, which basically reveals the whole book by the way. NO PLOT. they fall in love, sure. but there's no driving force behind that love: what activities did they do together that made bailey dream of a “fifty shades of gray”-esque nighttime routine with him? and why did bailey's parents divorce in the first place?
and of course, the third-act conflict was very poorly done. charlie's secret bet came out of nowhere, and felt a little too "she's all that" inspired. now onto charlie, the world's worst bouncer!
charlie. poor little charles. charlie-kins. charl-charl. or as bay (horrible nickname for bailey in my opinion, sounds too much like bae and it was weird for her stepdad to repeatedly call her that. i'd like to propose the wonderful alternative of baby b, lmk your thoughts) likes to call him, mr. nothing.
no, i won't tell you why she calls him that.
his judgmental ass was one of the worst parts of this book. he couldn't say a word other than "fuck the patriarchy, bae-bae" or "we're coworkers, bae. oh and by the way all your mannerisms suck. fuck off. but wait i love you why are you leaving, pookie?" i'm already so tired of him so i'll direct you to the quotes below that capture his essence, which will inevitably make you think "when can i score with this snazzy catch of a human?"
"i mean, i've already pictured every relatively attractive human female on this flight naked two or three times, and we aren't even close to landing." YES LYNN! THIS EVERYONE. this is what makes a good first impression in a reader's mind. and the fact that he listens to conan gray or gracie abrams doesn’t make him any less of a creep.
bailey, our fmc, was just ok. i know, gasp. i didn't like her, but she was a realistic character (that didn't burn down her apartment at 30.) bailey wasn't a work of art, and yes, also incredibly gullible. she did fall for charlie, and also tried to sabotage her mom's relationship with a seemingly wonderful guy: but i'm not a child of divorce, so i don't know how hard it could be to adjust to a new "dad". especially if he is suddenly introduced into your life without any warning. so that was annoying, but alright.
what i legitimately disliked about bailey was how she valued a relationship with a random guy over her best friend's feelings. it was so out of touch for bailey to just place a bet that her best friend would get with a guy, and not let nekesa know so she could avoid a big conflict with her boyfriend.
from the nickname prince charles gave her to how every character self-sabotaged their own relationships (and then acted like victims), “betting on you” was a miss for me. i think it could've been more enjoyable if painter developed a plot that filled in the 'blank spaces' (haha i'm hilarious laugh or die) with sentences instead of these:
"i still couldn't listen to the taylor album that came out when they divorced."
"then charlie said, 'all too well'. the ten-minute version." NO. NO HE DIDN'T! i did NOT see that coming, nuh uh.
"her nose was all scrunched up as she sang 'fuck the patriarchy / key chain on the ground'. i said she was so uptight and a little nerdy." bailey. so different from other girls. other girls don't like taylor swift!
"she sang the wrong word-never lovely jewel-loud as fuck into the microphone." fun fact: there were more than 11 'fucks' in this very chapter! chill the fuck out, really fucking cute, loud as fuck, for fuck's sake, fucking chump, fuck me, and more! lynn, not all fucking people under the age of fucking 18 use fuck in every fucking sentence. you're so fucking wrong about that, do your fucking research.
"my mom wore her 'i'm the problem t-shirt' she got the day of the midnights album release." not gonna lie, i have that t-shirt.
"i drew my eyeliner, sharp enough to kill a man, of course." of course. but that was implied, silly goose!
i'm lazy and don't want to type out the rest of the references, so just imagine a crap-ton more along the lines of "we have bad blood but hopefully we're going to shake it off" + "i would've could've should've told bailey how i felt”
this book was nice, in the sense that they didn't have sex and i don't have to burn my eyes, but i think the lesson to take from this are that cute little moments, banter, or sex won't make up for plot-holes and character issues. even just simple compatibility? bailey + charlie didn't work together, and i honestly think that that is my main reason for not liking them together as a couple.
for now, i'm swearing off of lynn's books. the truly sad part is, i really do like lynn's dedications. so maybe someone can come out with a book just comprised of her dedications. please ...more
this book is gilmore girls. i still liked it. mostly because i like gilmore girls.
“adira. shut your gosh darn flappity mouth, you’re so smart!” — my sithis book is gilmore girls. i still liked it. mostly because i like gilmore girls.
“adira. shut your gosh darn flappity mouth, you’re so smart!” — my sister, who is not southern, after i relayed all my similarity theories to her. she’s right though.
a list of similarities: -town meetings discussing personal issues -diner where everybody congregates -gruff guy + shining sweetheart -overprotective town -hardware store owner defending annie -shining small-town sweetheart
that’s just a few. okay, i lived in a small town, and people over there are way too concerned about your well-being than they should be. and there was a diner. but is it a far stretch to say that sarah adams’ only knowledge of suburban life might be from the iconic 7-season hit?
annie - occasionally witty, and apparently has too big of a personality for her tiny flowery frame. her pirate fanfiction was a bit much— i was busting up when they re-enacted it! OH GOD, just imagine what they could do with anchor puns. what i would do to read that for the first time…(i’d do a lot.) anyways, i really don’t have a lot of bad things to say about annie adams. she was cute, charming, and truthful about her feelings, albeit 4’2 with a penchant for jack sparrow.
will - to be honest, i’ve never liked the “bad boy” trope in cheesy romance. it’s just so out of place for some sour dude with inky tattoos to spout some dark one-liners when, last chapter, everybody was doing the hoedown. (if you haven’t watched miley cyrus do the hoedown, elite childhoods don’t have a place in your life)
like, i get it. he’s a bodyguard. but when all will can think about is the curve of annie’s ass, how am i supposed to take him seriously? the answer is no. i didn’t. and that’s okay, because it made the whole i’m-leaning-on-a-door-frame-bitches thing way funnier!
the plot - sarah’s sentence structure really follows when she has a general grip of the storyline! i can give you numerous examples where she just…forgot? the plot halfway through the story and decided to give us the sloppy rom-com works, so i’m impressed at the little amount of complaints i have with this one. there were interesting subplots and adorable side characters. what more can i ask for except a quick eraser of pirate fanfics from my brain?
now. a moment of silence for the two complaints i do have. okay, that’s good enough.
-the pirate scene. gods, i cannot think about it without a twitch of regret for ever reading chapter…whatever it was. doorframes are not cute when all i can think about is whether or not will might decide to swashbuckle on the next page. i vote for an epilogue where will goes to scotland and adopts an accent to make it that much better <3
-annie’s banana pajamas. not the pajamas themselves, but how much they were mentioned! at this rate, i expect the bananas themselves to rot like i did when will kept saying how uniquely quirky annie was for having PATTERNED LINEN.
now, a play!
adira’s version of shakespeare
will: you have…bananas, bananas…on ur pajamas. ur so different. ur so *short circuits* quirky?
annie: omg, WILLL !! i do. I DO! look at them, just look! look at all the patterns!
will: (does a jig as he surveys the linen and presents it an oscar)
annie: (sings irish song with only the words bananas)
basically, she has more likable qualities than what she wears to bed. but her bed is at the forefront of will’s mind.
overall, i’m such a softie for snuggle-up books, so it didn’t take much for me to give this 3 stars <3 this wasn’t amazing, but it was cheesy and i like cheese. ...more
okay, so maybe the claim that this is the best rom-com of the decade is a little farfetched.
but i still unabashedly ate this shit up. i mean, i kinda okay, so maybe the claim that this is the best rom-com of the decade is a little farfetched.
but i still unabashedly ate this shit up. i mean, i kinda did.
“kisses and croissants” centers around mia, a girl that has dedicated her entire life to ballet. mia is accepted into an exclusive summer ballet program in paris: throughout the book, she encounters found family, pastries, and more. this book is about her journey of discovering herself through her own ancestors. oh and there's also this french guy.
mia - i feel like ya romances all have the same female main character! is it just me? i guess this would frustrate me on any other day, but i was in a good mood when i read this book, so her lack of originality didn't really bother me. mia isn't unlikable in the sense of the word, but because i couldn't find any unique personality trait pertaining to mia herself, i don't know what to think. okay, i do. she has great taste in friends but horrible taste in boys. (i.e. audrey >>> louis)
louis - he's an artist. he's a player. he's rich by parental means and trauma dumps because of his parents' divorce. everybody, it's a parisian love interest. these are the words on louis’ wanted poster. and why is he wanted? well, you’ll see.
louis' widely apparent misogyny is one of my big red flags with this book. he puts down other girls he's dated, sluts without faces or names, to appease mia. and he uses gifts as an excuse for an absolute ass of a personality. honestly, louis is the reason i am giving this 2.5 stars. he's a dick. (but at least he rides a motorcycle.)
plot - i really enjoyed the intertwined storylines of romance + discovery! reading about mia finding herself through her ancestors was so interesting and..raw. i didn’t expect for johanneau to convey the feeling of being lost so authentically.
i'm also a huge fan of romances that don't completely center around romance itself, so obviously audrey + mia's redemption arc was something i adored as well. redemption friendships are amazing (mostly because they rarely happen in real life) and the author executed every small moment of closeness with these two girls together seamlessly. if you're considering not reading this book because of louis, first of all: valid. but i personally think that each chapter in "kisses and croissants" has a little relatable touch that makes it worth your while.
my one peeve is the last 45 pages of this book. they were absurd, wild, and absolutely unnecessary. i understand why jouhanneau felt like it was necessary for her book to take a turn for the worse (keeps people interested, i guess), but there were so many paths she could've gone down to finish developing mia's character arc.
even though louis is a lousy two-bit love interest, and mia reminds me of emily cooper in kind of a bad way, i would still recommend this book. although i may be ripping off that “best book” sticker later (the owner is one of my best friends, i'm allowed to be disrespectful).
--------- pre-review: i mean…i think they watched a rom-com at one point?
review to come!
found this in my favorite bookstore labeled as the best rom-com of the decade, so i’ve appointed myself as the worthy judge of that.
the last time i read this, i tapped out at 60%. i'm ashamed. but, because i'm so very generous, i decided to give this another go!
a few day3.45 stars
the last time i read this, i tapped out at 60%. i'm ashamed. but, because i'm so very generous, i decided to give this another go!
a few days ago, i returned to college after thanksgiving break. doing so, i snuck my little sister's library copy of this onto the plane. i would be sorry, but she ate my portion of the stuffing, so it's obviously all-out war.
i must say, reading this on a plane was a wonderful experience. i think if i actually tried to read this in my apartment, i would definitely dnf it again.
the basic premise of “the do-over” is that our main character, emilie hornby, gets stuck in a horrendous valentine's day time-loop. a loop where she has to watch her boyfriend "cheat" on her, lose a scholarship that will "win her a pulitzer", & cross paths with a moody misunderstood boy named nick.
spoilers ahead!
emilie: emilie reminds me of a stale pack of takis. they think they're good because they're like cheetos, but they're really not. they're bland, unimportant, and inevitably end up soggy in the back of gregory's car. there wasn't a single part of her that i liked, which was really disappointing.
her interactions with nick were bearable, sometimes even funny. but her inner monologue was so out of touch. it felt like i was looking at her going about her day through a foggy glass window. it was hard to develop a connection between reader & character, thereby making the book a lot harder to get through for me.
i think emilie was supposed to be unlikable in the beginning, and then touch hearts on the DONC. (which, by the way, i would've much rather read as the full thing; day of no consequences. i can't take it seriously with the abbreviation.) but she was somehow even worse! it was nice to see her have a little immature revenge on her insensitive parents, who felt so...unreal. disconnected characters that were simply there for emilie's whims on the DONC. except todd. i liked todd.
nick: i called him nikolas in my head to make him have a lil’ more spice. i didn't hate him, i didn't love him. but what i liked about him is that he made emilie better. i especially liked their scene on the balcony with his fake promposal! it was funny and felt like something out of painter's books that i love: "better than the movies",...that's it. well, it felt like a scene out of "better than the movies" and i really enjoyed that. however, i wish that lynn explored nick's character development and what made him so cold to emilie & others.
now his character development— i got the immediate impression that he didn't even like emilie. but as soon as she wore leather pants, he decided to ditch school for her? it felt so sharp, especially when i realized that nick didn't remember all his cute interactions with her during the time-loop. yesterday, he hated her. today, he's all over her. didn't make sense but i understand that with a time-loop romance, the logics of the time-loop really aren't going to be top priority.
i wasn't expecting “the do-over” to be a phenomenon in writing. and it wasn't. a fun, relatively light airplane read with a few plot holes, but if you're in the mood for a typical lynn painter romance, (i’m scared of 90% of her books) “the do-over” is one of the best ones....more
i’ve reviewed a few of lynn’s books, but this one is by far the best! i’m so glad this worked out for me, lynn should yay. i liked this book!
spoilers!
i’ve reviewed a few of lynn’s books, but this one is by far the best! i’m so glad this worked out for me, lynn should definitely stick to YA. i love the classic quintessential enemies turned lovers trope, and the whole transition that comes with it felt really natural. from the little peeks of wes’ attraction to the moments they have with each other, “better than the movies” is almost spectacular! i enjoyed the beginning and the middle, and liz and wes’ kiss was not anticlimactic at all.
concerning, possibly. but not anticlimactic, never.
yes, it felt weird for a girl who i’d originally considered to be 15 (even though she’s 17 and technically there’s nothing wrong with this but it still feels kind of weird) to say “i want to have violent sex with wes right here in this damn car. to hell with seatbelts and their metal edges! i want it NOW.” i had to add a little flair but you get the point.
and i’m serious. most of this book was so magical. but…I HATE THIRD ACT CONFLICTS. they irk me. irritate me. and they’re also probably out to murder me. so inevitably, the reason I’m giving this book 3.5 stars is because the ending wasn’t up to my expectations.
i know that with rom-coms, it’s basically required for the love interests to have some kind of spat. but it wasn’t written well at all: suddenly this amazing boy who’s extremely into liz starts ignoring her? because he “wants the best for her”..give me a fucking break. that excuse was pitiful, but of course liz had to forgive him. they make up, the end. yay. i think lynn could have finished up the book with a sweeter and more enjoyable ending. nevertheless, i of course think “better than the movies” is definitely worth a read!...more
okay so i know this is totally unrelated but i just rewatched brooklyn 99 and when i tell you that that is the best show ever, i am dead serious and sokay so i know this is totally unrelated but i just rewatched brooklyn 99 and when i tell you that that is the best show ever, i am dead serious and slightly disappointed lynn ever referenced jake peralta because i think she has the power to ruin anything for me. including cheesy romance. that being said, i don't really believe it makes the fact that i rated this book one star more believable in the eyes of lovely you. moving on.
i am the poster child for lynn painter hater girls all around the world. i will constantly stand by my opinion that every single one of her books are unoriginal, bland, and contain the most torturous smut i have ever read.
then, why, adira, you little shmuck. why are you re-reading the book that you'd show to doctors when they ask you why you are so horrified of having children?
because, silly you. i made a $50 bet with my college advisor, who swears by this book, that i would hate it even more upon reading it the 2nd time. AND I WON.
miss aimée underestimates my pure loathing for lynn painter, and the self-hatred that i had to build up in order to put myself through this shit again.
but i did it: i read this and hated it even more the 2nd time around, which i honestly didn’t think was possible.
basically, to sum this steaming pile of what happens when your editor just...disappears, up: hallie is our female main character, who's a down-on-her luck bartender that's not like other girls. and jack, her love interest, is an existential-crisis-manifesting dude who secretly wants to get a mail order wife, but only if she wears a backwards baseball cap and eats tacos.
they both decide to help each other go out into the horrific dating world, but none of the dates work out because they’re both, obviously, waving red flags. the plot, if you can call it that, takes a turn for the worse when hallie and jack act like they’re dating on a trip hosted by her sister, and you won’t guess what happens next!
you probably will.
i won’t tell you though.
so, hallie. hallie is a bartender. one of the WORST jobs in the world, apparently. when i was living in europe, i also worked at, gasp, a pub. i understand where hallie was coming from, however, her whiny complaints didn’t give off the casual smart-ass vibe she was going for.
but okay. fine. lynn consistently writes out of touch female main characters. i expected this.
what i didn’t expect was a slut-shaming woman who finds it perfectly reasonable to call every self-respecting woman a bitch! (actually i kind of did)
hallie just constantly victimizes herself and sabotages every chance she has to get into a relationship. she has wild commitment issues, a curvy but not too curvy figure, and red hair. that's essentially a lynn painter fmc template, children.
wait. stop! call 911!
it’s the douchebag of the year, jack! why does he deserve this award, you ask? well, he’s a horrible brother, friend, boyfriend, partner, confidant, advice-giver, growler, and a supreme narcissist. look. i don’t like olivia either. but jack is genuinely such a prick, treating her with the respect of a singular ant leg, waving around an invisible sign that would probably say: SEND NUDES, DUDE!…but also, you know, respect women!
he’s the type of guy to wear a shirt that says “pads should be free” and then mansplain how to navigate a rocky relationship while wearing calvin klein boxers as a statement against traditional roles in society. i physically didn’t believe i could hate an mmc more than colin, but jack changes things.
his compliments? even when directed towards hallie, jack somehow manages to put down other women by explaining to us all of her wonderful personality traits. he never admits he’s the problem. he’s a bully on a corporate high, AND he sabotaged hallie and alex’s relationship. then of course proceeded to comforted her afterwards. jack is…a dick. and if you met him irl, he probably wouldn’t stop talking about it either.
now, moving on to their chemistry. there was loads of effort on lynn’s part to write the cringiest sex scenes i’ve ever read. i mean, you’ve GOT to commend her on impressively weaving in this phrase: “so right inside me, together we crested like waves on the ocean!” multiple times in her romances.
clap clap clap. congrats lynn. congrats on making both my advisor and i literally look around the room for soap to wash our eyes with when forced to talk about your smut.
by the way, hallie + jack’s emotional chemistry was predictably non-existent. there were a few pages of tolerable banter, but that wasn’t enough to make up for the one bed trope. seriously. it’s getting tiring. lynn repeatedly recycles the same garbage characters and plot.
and, to finish this review off, i leave you a question. would YOU feel comfortable if a man you’ve known for 2 weeks slips his hand under your dress JUST when you’ve finally come to terms with your feelings for him? i’ve been pondering on that.
1 star because of..well, nothing but it’s impossible to give this zero stars without making my review factor in with the overall rating of this book.
so, save yourself from this emily henry fanfiction, an insult to emily henry herself, that looks like it was written by a hormonal teenager who failed health class. it reads like it too....more
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