4.5 stars for the story. But I am dinging it to 4 for the typos.
This is a paranormal romance in that it's set in another galaxy.
Rin has an identical twin who is a psychopath. Rin himself has a mood disorder where he feels too much, he feels too much and gets out of control of his emotions. Whereas his brother has no emotions. They are both trying to hide their true natures. They are very much an us/we, it's them against the world.
Kel is a sociopath. He is Imperial Prince, third in line for the throne. He has a lot of power and influence. Kel is a senior and Rin is a sophomore. They meet because Kel is assigned as one of the advisors to the younger students. Kel sees Rin and is fascinated by him, because he is deliberately trying to place worse in the competition, he's manipulating what place he comes in so that he doesn't draw attention. Kel manipulates things so that he is assigned to work with Rin. Then Kel drugs Rin with a sex drug and forces sex on him. Decides that Rin is HIS and forces more sex in dubcon situations and forces a betrothal on him. Rape is horrible and I hate to not call it what it is, so there is rape here. But I have to say, I had conflicted feelings and couldn't completely hate it, because Rin doesn't regret it at all, Rin's kink is giving up control, so he actually loves the sex. It's a weird dynamic. It makes sense given the crazy combination of circumstances that is their lives.
Kel was so committed to Rin from the very beginning. He is a sociopath but Rin is his obsession. He's very possessive and protective. He's supportive and proud of the strong, capable person Rin is. He is giving and loving in his way. Rin isn't afraid of Kel even though Kel is a killer and has the power to snuff him out.
There's twisty mysteries and intrigue. The banter and hostility between them is very entertaining. The smut is hot. The best thing though was Kel knowing Rin so well and loving him so hard when he cared for no one else. Rin was so special to him.
What I didn't like about this book... This book had tons of typos. What the heck happened in editing? It was distracting. Taught instead of taut. Manors instead of manners. Fact instead of fat. Burry instead of bury. Metaled instead of melted. Supper instead of super. Also, yeah, it was dark. Would have felt more comfortable if consent wasn't an issue.
Some notable moments:
"“Shut. The. Blinds,” he insisted, then he caught Kel’s gaze, the determination and promise there almost enough to knock the Imperial Prince off his feet a second time. “And then fix this by fucking me.” From zero to one hundred. Seemed like Kel wasn’t the only one who acted on instinct. “I knew you were going to be a good time.” He reached for the remote and hit the button that would instantly fling the blinds closed, then without giving Rin a chance to change his mind, he shoved him down onto the bed. Right where he wanted him."
"“Plus,” he added, “I have to check out the crime scenes for the case, which involves me walking. I can’t afford not to be able to move.” Kelevra’s gaze zoned in on him like a laser. “How many times do you think I’ll have to dick you down to cripple you with my cock?” Rin recognized that expression. His brother got it sometimes. “Hell no. We are not about to find out. Get those thoughts out of your pervy head.” “I wouldn’t break you permanently,” Kel mused, but Rin let out a sound of warning."
"Something inside of Kelevra’s chest cracked. He’d thought forcing his control over Rin in the bedroom had been the peak of pleasure, but he’d been wrong. It was this. It was being allowed to play with Rin’s hair and have him willingly lay in his lap. It was listening to his even breathing, and watching his full mouth curve upward at the ends ever so slightly, as though even Rin didn’t realize he was smiling."
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers....more
**spoiler alert** Tropes: failed one night stand, professor/student, age gap, forbidden/secret relationship Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 2.5/5 Kinks: some toys, m**spoiler alert** Tropes: failed one night stand, professor/student, age gap, forbidden/secret relationship Feels: 2/5 Steam*: 2.5/5 Kinks: some toys, mild daddy kink, glory hole Angst: medium HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: religious trauma, internalized homophobia, homophobic parents, drug addiction and recovery
3.5 stars. I probably should have rounded down to three, because the relationship between Cam and Grady is a really key thing and it just wasn't the star of this book. But I just have a lot of fondness for the other characters and for this series, so I'm going to round up.
Cam is 23. In his second year of college, he went wild to deal with his religious guilt at being gay, to deal with the feelings of guilt and disappointment. Got addicted to drugs. He overdosed and almost died. His parents sent him off to rehab and away from college and it did help him get clean. He's been clean for 2 years and he's back at college now. But his parents are not accepting of his sexuality. I keep trying to force him to be involved with their Church and to do drug addiction therapy programs that are religious based, and they aren't supportive of him and want him to change. It's a toxic relationship but he still has hope that they will come around. He's been cut off and he's working very very hard to pay all of his college bills.
Grady is 36. He's bi. He was married to a woman for 9 years but they're divorced now. He's a professor at Cam's college. He's regularly run into Cam at the diner that he works at as a customer. And this semester Cam is taking class with him. Grady is busy climbing the professional ladder. He's writing books and he's got an upcoming publicity tour for when he finishes the book he's working on right now. He needs to keep his nose clean so that scandal doesn't Rock his career.
At a bar, they meet at a glory hole and have an anonymous hookup. Then they come back the next week hoping to find the other again, and they have another anonymous hookup and exchange numbers to arrange repeats. They still haven't seen each other's faces at this point. Eventually, the penny drops about who their hook up is. They are conflicted about whether they should stop or keep going. And after some hesitation, they decide to keep hooking up. But keep it secret and casual. But then they start spending more and more time together and have a good connection and they want to keep it going, but guilt of secrets are what drove Cam to drugs before. For his own mental health it's not good for him to keep secrets. And Grady really can't afford the scandal right now. So they are dealing with some conflict.
This was a medium angst enjoyable story. I really loved the other couples in this series, and I loved the appearances that they made in this book. They're a great supportive friend group and there were lots of little moments of humor that came out of their interactions. The friend group is probably my favorite thing about this book. Which is not the greatest of signs. Another enjoyable thing about this book was that there were some like deep conversations that Cam and Grady had, there were some meaningful thought and idea sharing moments. There was some poignant and relatable insecurities and vulnerabilities that were discussed.
Cam and Grady were enjoyable enough but they didn't really stand out as an epic couple to me. I think their relationship was just lacking a few of the key things that I really appreciate in a romance, so in part it was a me thing. But also I think the author could have made some better choices. The first 60% of the book was very physical only. There was no mention of romance, no thought in their mind of romance. In the next 20% there's a friendship that's kind of added on to the sexual component. But even all the way up until like 85%, I was still not feeling the romance/love between the two of them. They said it themselves at one point at 68% mark, that they were just thinking with their dicks.
They aren't very sentimental about each other until the very end. They're very physical but at the same time it's not a very sensual read. There's a lot of sex on page but it doesn't come off very sensual, it comes off a bit more clinical and physical. There's also a lot of skipping over and just kind of summarizing the passage of time and the passage of their hookups, so there's kind of a distance. Also, I am an absolute sucker for non-sexual touch and couples just being drawn to touch each other platonically, to find comfort in each other, to sleep together and snuggle. And it was a bit of a kick in the face that we never actually saw any of that between Cam and Grady, instead Cam was getting those non-sexual touch and comfort needs met through his friends.
I did respect that they talked a lot. They got to know each other. They had some meaningful conversations and they were mature about the decisions that they made when it came to whether they would reveal their relationship while he was still a student. But even while I was respecting that, I was thinking that it was a little unfortunate that was just one more thing that made their relationship seem a bit too clinical and convenient, and not sentimental enough.
Some notable moments:
"I’m not a superhero or anything, but when I’m around my folks, I always feel like they liked me in disguise better, like if I could keep wearing that costume, everything would be better."
"“Dinner’s ready. Ohhh, a cuddle party? Can I join?” “You’re too big,” Mark protested. It was a futile effort. Sam threw himself across our legs. Jesse wasn’t far behind, nosy as ever. “What’s going on in here?” “Mark and Cam and I are cuddling.” “Bunch of sluts,” he said and then flopped down in front of me. “Is someone sad? Having drama? Why are we cuddling?”"
Ha to the running joke that Cam's mystery man might be Ansel's father. ““Better not be my dad. He’s supposed to be on vacation right now.” Ansel frowned. “It’s not your dad, Ansel.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers....more
**spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy sunshine, golden boy/mafia prince, push/pull, secret relationship Feels: 5/5 Steam*: 5/5 Kinks: n/a (it wasn't kinky s**spoiler alert** Tropes: grumpy sunshine, golden boy/mafia prince, push/pull, secret relationship Feels: 5/5 Steam*: 5/5 Kinks: n/a (it wasn't kinky sex but this is a very steamy read) Angst: high HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: depression, borderline personality disorder, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, on-page descriptions of a minor’s sexual assault, suicide attempt, violence, unsafe sex, dubcon
Dec. 14, 2023 - This book came out on Dec. 6. I just read it for the 3rd time. I am down bad for the love NikoBran share. These guys have such an intensely emotional story. It hurts a lot at times and makes me cry but it also feels like a frigging bear hug, putting me in a chokehold.
This book was epic. Nikolai and Brandon's relationship is definitely one of my favourite dynamics ever. All the stars! This is a keeper, a favourite.
I first heard about them via tiktok a couple months ago and the crumbs of their story had me hooked. The way Niko was completely hooked on Bran, chasing him so hard... I needed this story so bad. I've literally been mentally unfocused for the last couple of months and tormented by the fact that I could not read this book yet. The relief I felt when I got my book was intense. I literally felt like my blood pressure calmed down.
I've read this book twice already. After the first time I was too emotionally wrecked to spend time writing a review. And then today I didn't want to read a different book. I'm the type of person who reads a book a day, and when it came to starting a new book today, I didn't want to read another book and move on from Niko and Brandon! So I read them again.
This was an intense book. Bran is 23, a rich university student from a powerful family, an artist. To everyone around him, he's got everything, a loving family, talent, wealth and power. He's the nicest guy, kind and gentle, anti-violence. But inside, he hates himself, he makes himself nauseous with how much he hates himself. He's self-harms. He has to wear a facade and constantly be in control of everything so that he holds himself together and doesn't splinter apart at the seams. He's in so much pain. I don't want to spoil the end, but he has trauma, and it is really realistically and emotionally told. He's struggling to fit in and be normal, he wants to be straight and have normal desires. His brother and friends are highly sexual, but he has never really felt desire. For years he's thought he's asexual... When he eventually falls for Niko, demisexual and gay are the labels he identifies with.
Nikolai is 19 and a Russian mafia Prince. He's bisexual and has a high sex drive. He's a huge muscled guy, smart but what he has a reputation for is being violent, blood thirsty and unhinged. Niko hates Brandon's twin brother Lan. Lan and Nikolai are in rival clubs, they lash out at each other whenever they interact. Lan is also secretly dating Niko's younger sister. Niko has BPD and goes through manic episodes where he is out of control and running on a dangerous high. He can't calm himself. He can't sleep in a bed, he can't settle down. He's fiercely protective of those he loves and he's close to his family.
Niko catches sight of Bran and is so attracted to him. He invites Bran to the Heathen's initiation event, threatening his brother. He tussles and talks to Bran for the first time and he loves what he sees in Bran, who he is outwardly is attractive but when Niko pushes his buttons, Bran cracks and show peeks of who he is inside and Niko is frigging enraptured. Bran is like a shot of serotonin. Bran hates Niko at first, he doesn't find him likeable, though there is something there from the very beginning between them. Niko starts stalking and doggedly pursuing Bran so hard, he wants him so bad. He's used to a very active sex life, a lot of variety, but after the initiation event he can't get turned on by others. Niko tries not to be too obvious or desperate, but this man is as subtle as a hammer to the head.
These guys have a wild push and pull dynamic. It's incredibly well told. Bran fights himself and nikolai's advances. Nikolai pursues and then gets butthurt and backs off. Bran misses his attention and the way he made him feel and has moments where he tentatively reaches out to pull Niko back into his orbit. They finally start a sexual relationship, but Bran insists on it being kept secret because of the mental issues he's struggling with and he tries to control the situation and put a lot of rules upon them. They break up multiple times but can't stay away from each other.
They are incredibly possessive over each other. They are wild together sexually. Their relationship is never just sexual though. There is so much feeling between them. They take such pleasure and comfort in each other. They are constantly touching each other, having post sex kisses even though they are sated, showing they care for each other by using their love languages even while Bran is prickly and struggles valiantly to keep some control and distance. The way these men are completely different people when they are together compared to when they are with other people, shows how much they feel for each other. Bran hasn't been able to smile since his traumatic experience as a teen, but Nikolai makes him smile and makes him have moments of happiness and peace for the first time in years, even though Bran is deep in dark wells of severely bad mental health. When Nikolai is with Bran, Niko's so darn happy, he's like a dog jumping to lick his owner, wagging his tail and doing zoomies around the room. He's so in love, he sucks up every nugget of information he can about Brandon, he spends every moment he can with him, he's constantly thinking about him.
I love the subtle things. The way Nikolai makes Bran tremble and shiver, the way Bran's smile makes Niko feel a tightness in his chest. The moments where they secretly and not so secretly mark and claim each other. The kindness, understanding, and selflessness that Niko shows, when he can read Bran's emotions and realize when he needs to step back to protect Bran's fragile mental health. That Niko counts Bran's eyelashes as he sleeps often enough that he can see the trend in which eye loses the most lashes. Niko printed and framed one of Bran's texts. No one has ever simped as hard as Niko simps!
Also I have to give props to Rina on her writing of mm sex. I was worried based on how she writes smut in her past books, the couples didn't use lube for anal and some of the sex was so rammy I literally felt bad for these women's vaginas. There was lots of prep. Lube every time except for once when they were outdoors and didn't have any. There was even reference to ongoing enema use. She far surpassed my expectations!
This book was pretty masterfully written as far as emotional response in the readers go. I felt all the feelings reading this book. There were so many moments of humor, happy couple moments, good partnering, UST before they got together, possessiveness, push and pull as they pulled each other closer but then also broke up multiple times. I felt so many happy moments. But also such deep and gnawing devastating pain mostly coming out of Brandon but also Nikolai didn't always have it easy with his mental health struggles himself. When the source of Brandon's worst trauma was revealed, I started crying and I didn't stop until the end of the book. Even now just thinking about particular moments make me tear up. I'm glad we had so many pages of happy emotions balancing out the pain before Rina really stabbed us all in the heart with Brandon's trauma.
What do I wish was done differently? Bran and Niko are both such different people to each other. Bran has this a****** controlling personality at times. Niko is an affectionate happy puppy for Bran. Niko revealed his obsession with his lotus flower to others. But no one really got to see how they are when they are together. It would have been really satisfying to see other people reacting to how perfect they are for each other and how they are so different when they are together. It's like no one else knows them but each other. People don't understand why Bran is with Niko, and they would understand it in a heartbeat if they saw what we saw.
Some notable moments: (I had so many moments I loved, it was tough to pick what to highlight)
This sums up their early dynamic so well: "He’s kind of an asshole, that guy. While I’ve been having a blast running with him the past couple of days, I have a feeling it’s not…mutual. I’ve been only greeted with the narrowing of his eyes, his death glares, and the occasional puff of air from his luscious lips."
The way Niko wants to murder any one that Bran gives attention to, any rival for his affections. The Jayden scene was epic but long so I'm posting this moment instead: "Who the fuck are you, Clara, and what’s your favorite way to die?"
Yeah, this is dubcon because Bran is drunk, but their first time hooking up was an explosion of tension: "And I just have to seize it. Trap it. Leave him no fucking way out. Just once. “D-don’t,” he stammers, both his hands landing on my chest as he searches our surroundings, which are full of drunk people, before he focuses on me again, his eyes a myriad of confusion. “Please.” “Too late, baby.” Using my hold on his shirt, I drag him into a tight alley and shove him against a grimy brick wall. He releases the most delicious startled sound I’ve ever heard and I’m done for. Finished."
"What the fuck is this man doing to me? Why on earth can’t I keep my hands off him? Does he have witch blood? Is he made of fucking drugs?"
"“You’ll kiss me?” he asks cautiously, hopefully, even. “I’ll always kiss you, baby.” I fall on top of him, my lips crushing to his, my chest pressing on his muscles, and our limbs entangling."
"“You usually have a hickey here. You can’t see it, but whenever you pull your hair up, it’s visible.” I touch the back of my neck. That sly fucking bastard. He’s been leaving hickeys all this time? And here I thought he just loved kissing me there. “Jer.” “What?” “I can’t take this, he’s so fucking adorable.” “For leaving a hickey?” “For staking a claim and being sneaky about it while complaining that I leave too many.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers....more
Reread May 5, 2024 - reviewing now since I wasn't writing reviews back when I first read this.
Theo is a 24-year-old graduate student who tutors. He has a lot of things he struggles with. His mother died when he was around 18 and he feels guilt because she was on the way to see him. His father is a former professional athlete who isn't very happy that he's gay and hasn't been a positive influence in his life. He's been taken advantage of in his past relationships and used what he could give others. He's prickly and very introverted, he has a lot of self-defense mechanisms up.
Enter Logan. He's 22 and a popular jock, straight but about to have his bi-awakening. He's not the smartest tool on the shelf, he's repeating his senior year in part because of failing some classes but also in part because he took a semester off after a car accident. He was driving and his brother lost a leg, and he's dealing with PTSD and guilt over that and struggling in his relationship with his brother. Logan is kind and friendly to everyone that he meets. He was raised by extremely loving and emotionally expressive hippie parents and he's a sensitive boy as a result. He goes to Theo because he needs help to pass chemistry and stay on the water Polo team. Theo is trying to scare Logan away, and he says just to shock him that he'll only tutor him in exchange for sex. Logan accepts, which shocks Theo.
As they spend time together, Logan dives into his bisexual awakening with eagerness. He knows pretty quick that he is attracted to Theo and he processes that pretty fast and embraces his feelings. He just wants Theo to open up to him and be with him for real. It takes Theo a very large percentage of the book to open up, but really it wasn't a long time in months.
I really enjoyed this book. It's a keeper for me. I know that it's over the top and a bit pushing the boundaries of morality and reality, but it's such a fun ride. Was Logan literally not smart, yes. Was Theo a jerk, yes but he was so wounded it was self-defense to protect himself. It's got so many of the things that I am just such a sucker for. If you include some of these things I'm willing to overlook the details and focus on what I love. Things that I love: the humor, a grumpy black cat character, someone who loves so fiercely, characters being so mentally preoccupied by their love interest, a character being touched starved and getting to soak in affection that they never had before, high steam but also non-sexual expressions of caring. And one thing I really love about Cora's writing, is that she writes first person POV in such a stream of consciousness way that you really see the thoughts of the characters and you can read the feelings expressed in those thoughts. You can really see their thoughts are betraying the depth of their feelings. It makes the steam more sensual. It makes the love so much more believable.
Some notable moments:
I love the cat daddying! And I love when cats are judgy. "I pull a toy mouse from my pocket. I chuck it onto the floor, but Curie just eyes it like it has an infectious disease. “Go on,” I say. “Play with it. It’s yours.” She turns to me and gives me a look like I just insulted her mother and then struts away."
It is completely fair to say that Theo is a jerk. Blackmailing someone into having sex with him? Making fun of their dick? Being rude to them off and on and pushing them away probably until the 90% mark? Theo it's just so wounded and has his defenses up, this expresses that perfectly. "Theo reaches out and links his pinkie with mine. Fuck, he’s sweet in his own way. He reminds me of a cold wild animal that snaps at you when you try to pet it, but really, it just wants you to curl up with it and keep it warm."
I loved when Theo finally asked for comfort and Logan just dove right in happy. "“Hold me?” I whisper. He freezes, his eyes widening in shock, and then, without teasing or questioning, he twists and pulls me into his arms and buries his face into my neck. “Thank fuck. God, I love cuddling.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers....more
**spoiler alert** Tropes: rivals/enemies to lovers, forced proximity, hurt/comfort, bully romance Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 5/5 Kinks: rough sex, marking Angst**spoiler alert** Tropes: rivals/enemies to lovers, forced proximity, hurt/comfort, bully romance Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 5/5 Kinks: rough sex, marking Angst: medium/high HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: parent mutilating/torturing MC, abusive behaviour, bullying, references to off page SA of minor characters, suicide, on page sex with others (but no cheating between MCs), codependency
October 6, 2023 - reread today. Reviewing because I wasn't writing reviews back when I originally read this.
Preston and Jeremy are 21 years old and they are attending college playing hockey. Preston has been abused by his father since he was 10 years old. His father is a plastic surgeon and uses Preston as a guinea pig, under the guise of correcting his bad behaviors as excuses to cut him. Preston puts up with it because he doesn't want his father to turn his attention to his little sister who is away at boarding school.
Preston transfers to Jeremy's school this year and they butt heads. In addition to being teammates they are also assigned as roommates. Preston walks in on Jeremy and his f*** buddy / best friend having sex multiple times early on in the book and that plus Jeremy not taking the sport as seriously because he doesn't want to go professional, creates tension. They bicker and get angry. Jeremy enjoys yanking Preston's chain. Sexual tension is there from the start and throwing each other into walls and having physical fights quickly devolves into hate sex and rough sex. Jeremy is thrilled because he has a rough sex kink. Preston is possessive as fuck and quickly declares Jeremy his. It's very easy to manipulate him into doing something because Jeremy just has to inspire his jealousy. Preston also goes after anyone that touches Jeremy on the ice.
Jeremy starts noticing things about Preston. He has nightmares. He goes out for runs and runs himself ragged hurting himself. He stays out the odd night. He gets squirrely anytime his dad comes up. And eventually Jeremy finds out Preston's secret. Jeremy is able to comfort and soothe Preston in a way that he's never had since his mother died when he was 10. Over time Jeremy brings Preston into his friend group and family and it's sweet.
I really liked this book. There's a lot of intensity of emotions and it really just draws you in. Yeah, things are overdramatic and over the top, the author could have probably been a little bit more subtle. But it's easy to forgive when you see such emotion. Not just in the steam but in the way that these guys care for each other and comfort each other. There's a lot of humor too. I loved seeing Jeremy's relationship with his family. Their dynamic is hilarious. One of his brothers called his niece a f*** trophy that the sister rubs in everybody's faces. The grandma and her quilts were sweet. I died at the scene of Preston taking one look at the cookies the grandma has been making for 40 years with the same cookie cutter and seeing ball sacks, then everyone overhearing him, and bursting out into laughter now that they see it.
One thing I wasn't a huge fan of was the amount of on-page sex between Jeremy and his f*** buddy/best friend Brendon. I know it served a purpose in that Preston saw it and got jealous, but it's just not something I enjoy seeing, once was enough, it distracts my focus from developing romance between the MCs. And the way that it kind of got rubbed in Preston's face was just not attractive. If this was MF romance and this was other woman drama instead of other man drama there would be so much hate from fans!
Some notable moments:
"“I uh…I sleep in Preston’s bed most nights.” The words fall from my mouth before my brain has a chance to filter them. He’s going to kill me for that. “Yeah, we already assumed you guys were fucking and pretending to hate each other to keep it under wraps.” Paul shrugs. “The way he watches you gives it away.” “What? He doesn’t watch me.” Now I’m confused. “And we’ve had sex once.”"
"“What the fuck is wrong with you? You just told them we fucked in the shower!” I’m not sure if he’s shocked or outraged. Both are equally amusing. I cackle and dig in my dresser for some clothes. “Yup.” He stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Why would you tell them that?” The exasperation is heavy in his tone. “Now when they come to a closed door, they’ll fucking knock.”"
"“Seriously, what was wrong with the cookie?” he asks. “Those are ball sack Santa cookies,” I whisper so no one overhears me. His eyes get wide and a huge smile takes over his face. “My Grandma has been making those cookies, with that same cookie cutter, for forty years!” “Are you trying to tell me they don’t look like ball sacks?” I demand."
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers....more
**spoiler alert** Tropes: double bi-awakening, teammates, grumpy/sunshine Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/pot**spoiler alert** Tropes: double bi-awakening, teammates, grumpy/sunshine Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: grief over death of parent, absentee parent, homophobia
Mason Maclain is in his last year at college. He's a pitcher on the baseball team. His mom died when he was 10 years old. His bio dad isn't in the picture. He was raised by his stepdad since he was a toddler. His stepdad has raised him since his mom's death, but only in the barest sense. He's been extremely absent and avoidant of dealing with Mason. And as Mason approaches graduating, his stepdad makes it clear he has to move out and he's on his own. Poor Mason.
Dominic Girard is also in his last year at college and he's the catcher to Mason's picture. His family isn't well off but they're very supportive and loving. Dominic and Mason have clashed on the field, Mason is closed off and grumpy. There's a tension between them. And turns out it's a sexual tension. They are both preoccupied with thoughts of each other and want each other. Neither has been with a guy before. Mason knows his stepdad is homophobic, and being out as bi would burn that last shaky bridge that's holding them together as some type of family. Dominic thinks his parents would probably be supportive, but his mother is religious so he's a little worried.
This is a sweet read. Dominic and Mason have a push and pull relationship for a bit, riling each other up, then getting close physically, desperate for each other. They have moments of kindness towards each other and moments where they get to know each other and are a bit more vulnerable. Then they pull away, usually Mason, out of fear and being young and not wanting to rock the fragile peace. Mason spends a bit of time with Dominic's family and gets a taste of a happier family. They need to get their shit together before they graduate and go their separate ways.
I enjoyed this book. I think it was a sweet somewhat late coming of age story. I liked the charged tension between them, and that there was never nastiness between them. Mason needed the kindness from Dom.
Some notable moments:
I love this attitude, "“What the hell is that guy’s problem? Daddy issues?” Fischer would sometimes ask, making me cringe, not only because Maclain would be pissed if he heard us, but because I felt this strange protectiveness toward him, like only I was allowed to push his buttons. Ridiculous, I know."
"“You’ll die?” His fingers reached down to gently push my bangs out of my eyes, and I nearly melted into the bed. “Unless I’m reading you wrong, you’re starving for it.”"
"“Mason?” I said against his neck. “Can’t let go,” he choked out. I melted into his frame. “It’s okay.” He shook his head. “I don’t wanna let you go.” My heart rose to my throat. “I don’t want you to let go either.” After another long beat, his mouth found my ear. “I’m in love with you.” My body tingled from head to toe. “I’m in love with you too.”"
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers....more
**spoiler alert** Tropes: enemies to lovers, teammates, rich/poor Feels: 5/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: no Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks: **spoiler alert** Tropes: enemies to lovers, teammates, rich/poor Feels: 5/5 Steam*: 4/5 Kinks: no Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks: none
Update: June 7, 2024 - Reread! Love this book
Update: August 21, 2023 - Reread. These guys are my fav CU couple. It's only been a couple months since my last reread of this but I got reminded of them on booktok and revisited. I love rereading, it's like visiting old friends. ...more
**spoiler alert** Tropes: age gap, MC, secret relationship, brother's best friend Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Trigg**spoiler alert** Tropes: age gap, MC, secret relationship, brother's best friend Feels: 4/5 Steam*: 3.5/5 Kinks: n/a Angst: low HEA: yes Pairing: MM Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: violence, unsafe sex
Reviewing this after a reread. I wasn't writing reviews back when I read this the first time.
Lucas is 22 and he's going to school to become a doctor. He is gay but in the closet when it comes to his family. He's not terribly experienced. He's a bit of an oblivious character, he doesn't know how attractive he is, and he gets into his own little world when he focuses. His older brother is in a motorcycle club. He moves in with his older brother. He starts to have a crush on Wreck aka Wade, a 34 year old MC friend of his brother's.
Wreck is intrigued by Lucas and protective and possessive of him. When other guys start trying to get with Lucas, Wreck decides that is not happening, he wants Lucas for himself. Lucas is Wreck's bisexual awakening, he'd only been with girls before. They take their relationship slow, Wreck doesn't want Lucas's brother to forbid their relationship.
There's a nice fondness and protectiveness between them. The characters are likable. The story and relationship unfolds in an entertaining way. It's funny how a couple people around them realize the relationship before they come out with it.
One thing that I didn't love about this book was how it was written in such a way that I could hear the cringey syrupy drawl that Wreck spoke with. He talked to Lucas as if Lucas was a damsel in need of protection and this was an old school country western. Bit cringe.
Some notable moments:
It's so adorable how oblivious Lucas gets when he is focused. "“He had the door unlocked while having his head in a book and music playin’. He didn’t even look at me when I entered. Didn’t even listen when I said I was goin’ to kill him.” Had he said that? Well, dang."
This is such a nice reason for keeping their relationship secret. Secret relationships usually aren't secret for good reasons. "At least with Death there, we’d be able to scare the others shitless to keep their mouths shut before Saint got between us with his threats. I wanted us to be stronger before that happened because I didn’t want to worry that Lucas would listen to his brother."
*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.
**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers....more
Jane aka Coughy019
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