Jeffrey Keeten's Reviews > The Martian
The Martian
by
by
![3427339](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p2/3427339.jpg)
** spoiler alert **
”So that is the situation. I’m stranded on Mars. I have no way to communicate with Hermes or Earth. Everyone thinks I’m dead. I’m in a Hab designed to last thirty-one days.
If the oxygenator breaks down, I’ll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I’ll die of thirst. If the Hab breaches, I’ll just kind of explode. If none of those things happen, I’ll eventually run out of food and starve to death.
So yea. I’m fucked.”
When I read the line “kind of explode” I couldn’t help thinking of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Total Recall, face contorted, eyes bulging as the oxygen deprived atmosphere of Mars was about to detonate his head.
I’ll wait for the next mission to a blue planet thank you very much.
Mark Watney, Mars astronaut, has a lot to worry about. It is hard to say if he has more to worry about than Douglas Quaid/Hauser (Arnold’s character in the movie). At least he doesn’t have people trying to kill him on Mars. In fact, when his fellow astronauts left he effectively became:
EMPEROR OF MARS
It might be the shortest reign in history.
”Mars keeps trying to kill me.”
He amends that thought with:
”Mars and my stupidity keep trying to kill me.”
Watney is far from stupid. He scavenges like a futuristic version of Robinson Crusoe from the left over debris of the Hermes crew’s hasty departure. The incident that “ended” Watney’s life had them in a panic.
”Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.”
He finds a whole memory stick of seventies sitcoms to keep him occupied and more importantly stuff to keep him alive.
Watney becomes the first farmer on Mars. He knows he doesn’t have enough food to last until the next mission to Mars is scheduled so he has to improvise. Luckily the crew was to be there over the Thanksgiving holiday and for morale purposes NASA sent along potatoes with those all important eyes intact.
”My morning piss goes in a resealable plastic box. when I open it, the rover reeks like a truck-stop men’s room. I could take it outside and let it boil off. But I worked hard to make that water and the last thing I’m going to do is waste it. I’ll feed it to the water reclaimer….
Even more precious is my manure. It’s critical to the potato farm, and I’m the only source on Mars. Fortunately, when you spend a lot of time in space, you learn how to shit in a bag. And if you think things are bad after opening the piss box, imagine the smell after I drop anchor.”
When he finds a way to communicate with Earth in one of his more spectacular MacGuyver moments they tell him that he is going to have to drive to another site where there is a rocket ship, already delivered, waiting for the next mission. He will drive on terrain that looks like this:
The ship is in Giovanni Schiaparelli’s crater. Watney being Watney has a few juvenile observations about his arrival at the crater.
”Tomorrow night, I’ll sink to an all-new low!
Lemme rephrase that…
Tomorrow night, I’ll be at rock bottom!
No, that doesn’t sound good either….
Tomorrow night, I’ll be in Giovanni Schiaparelli’s favorite hole!
Okay, I admit I’m just playing around now.”
The science is unbelievable and since Andy Weir was a fifteen year old prodigy and is obviously still extremely bright in middle age I have to believe him that he has this all figured out. Watney injects humor as he explains his innovative scientific brilliance which at times had my eyes glazed over trying to keep up. So even as you are getting overwhelmed by the science Weir will elicit an eye roll from the more sophisticated reader. He might even inspire an outright chortle if you are of the low brow variety of humor lovers. I must be more of the pan-humor variety as he elicited a wide range of sniggers, snorts, and raised eyebrows from me.
”I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”
The one thing that might save your life on Mars, Earth or any other planet you might want to visit is something that NASA didn’t invent.
“Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”
Watney worships duct tape and given the hairbrained ideas he puts into practice he needs miles and miles of it.
It turns out duct tape has a variety of uses for providing additional support. We are such an ingenious species.
Weir convinced me that Watney could live on Mars for over a year while awaiting rescue. With mangled equipment, a harsh unforgiving terrain, and the ever present, one more thing going wrong, depression that Watney has to overcome everyday, this reader started feeling the pain of failure and the elation of success right along with him. As the world learns he is alive humanity began rooting not for the American to live, but for the human species to triumph.
In the 1970s when I was old enough to watch what NASA was doing and marvelled at our ability to do the impossible. It was a time when absolutely anything seemed achievable. We’d had leadership that insisted that we needed to go to the moon. We still built things, now it feels like the monuments of our times are being built other places. I do think we all miss having a common goal. Something that we all feel we are a part of, something larger than ourselves. With a space program gutted and the idea of a manned mission to Mars staggeringly expensive it makes me realize how lucky I was to grow up in a time when it really felt like the impossible was possible. I’m probably the last of the optimists who still believes that we have to go see it; we have to put our footprint on it; we have to scatter our debris around and say ‘yes we were here’. We need a Mark Watney to be lost on Mars so we have something to cheer for that brings us together as a species.
Besides book reviews I also have started writing movie reviews. These can be found at my blog http://jeffreykeeten.com/
![photo Mars_zps149150c8.jpg](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1532031840i/25998855.jpg)
”So that is the situation. I’m stranded on Mars. I have no way to communicate with Hermes or Earth. Everyone thinks I’m dead. I’m in a Hab designed to last thirty-one days.
If the oxygenator breaks down, I’ll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I’ll die of thirst. If the Hab breaches, I’ll just kind of explode. If none of those things happen, I’ll eventually run out of food and starve to death.
So yea. I’m fucked.”
When I read the line “kind of explode” I couldn’t help thinking of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie Total Recall, face contorted, eyes bulging as the oxygen deprived atmosphere of Mars was about to detonate his head.
![photo MarsArnold_zps9948e820.gif](https://images.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1532031840ra/25998851.gif)
I’ll wait for the next mission to a blue planet thank you very much.
Mark Watney, Mars astronaut, has a lot to worry about. It is hard to say if he has more to worry about than Douglas Quaid/Hauser (Arnold’s character in the movie). At least he doesn’t have people trying to kill him on Mars. In fact, when his fellow astronauts left he effectively became:
EMPEROR OF MARS
It might be the shortest reign in history.
”Mars keeps trying to kill me.”
He amends that thought with:
”Mars and my stupidity keep trying to kill me.”
Watney is far from stupid. He scavenges like a futuristic version of Robinson Crusoe from the left over debris of the Hermes crew’s hasty departure. The incident that “ended” Watney’s life had them in a panic.
”Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.”
He finds a whole memory stick of seventies sitcoms to keep him occupied and more importantly stuff to keep him alive.
Watney becomes the first farmer on Mars. He knows he doesn’t have enough food to last until the next mission to Mars is scheduled so he has to improvise. Luckily the crew was to be there over the Thanksgiving holiday and for morale purposes NASA sent along potatoes with those all important eyes intact.
”My morning piss goes in a resealable plastic box. when I open it, the rover reeks like a truck-stop men’s room. I could take it outside and let it boil off. But I worked hard to make that water and the last thing I’m going to do is waste it. I’ll feed it to the water reclaimer….
Even more precious is my manure. It’s critical to the potato farm, and I’m the only source on Mars. Fortunately, when you spend a lot of time in space, you learn how to shit in a bag. And if you think things are bad after opening the piss box, imagine the smell after I drop anchor.”
When he finds a way to communicate with Earth in one of his more spectacular MacGuyver moments they tell him that he is going to have to drive to another site where there is a rocket ship, already delivered, waiting for the next mission. He will drive on terrain that looks like this:
![photo marsterrain_zps8fe9b172.jpg](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1532031840i/25998853.jpg)
The ship is in Giovanni Schiaparelli’s crater. Watney being Watney has a few juvenile observations about his arrival at the crater.
![photo 078205b0-0e25-4c2d-b2b8-4f2869e1aced_zps7aa1677d.jpg](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1532031840i/25998852._SY540_.jpg)
”Tomorrow night, I’ll sink to an all-new low!
Lemme rephrase that…
Tomorrow night, I’ll be at rock bottom!
No, that doesn’t sound good either….
Tomorrow night, I’ll be in Giovanni Schiaparelli’s favorite hole!
Okay, I admit I’m just playing around now.”
The science is unbelievable and since Andy Weir was a fifteen year old prodigy and is obviously still extremely bright in middle age I have to believe him that he has this all figured out. Watney injects humor as he explains his innovative scientific brilliance which at times had my eyes glazed over trying to keep up. So even as you are getting overwhelmed by the science Weir will elicit an eye roll from the more sophisticated reader. He might even inspire an outright chortle if you are of the low brow variety of humor lovers. I must be more of the pan-humor variety as he elicited a wide range of sniggers, snorts, and raised eyebrows from me.
”I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”
The one thing that might save your life on Mars, Earth or any other planet you might want to visit is something that NASA didn’t invent.
“Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”
Watney worships duct tape and given the hairbrained ideas he puts into practice he needs miles and miles of it.
![photo duct-tape-bra1_zpsa1ae8280.jpg](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1532031840i/25998854.jpg)
It turns out duct tape has a variety of uses for providing additional support. We are such an ingenious species.
Weir convinced me that Watney could live on Mars for over a year while awaiting rescue. With mangled equipment, a harsh unforgiving terrain, and the ever present, one more thing going wrong, depression that Watney has to overcome everyday, this reader started feeling the pain of failure and the elation of success right along with him. As the world learns he is alive humanity began rooting not for the American to live, but for the human species to triumph.
In the 1970s when I was old enough to watch what NASA was doing and marvelled at our ability to do the impossible. It was a time when absolutely anything seemed achievable. We’d had leadership that insisted that we needed to go to the moon. We still built things, now it feels like the monuments of our times are being built other places. I do think we all miss having a common goal. Something that we all feel we are a part of, something larger than ourselves. With a space program gutted and the idea of a manned mission to Mars staggeringly expensive it makes me realize how lucky I was to grow up in a time when it really felt like the impossible was possible. I’m probably the last of the optimists who still believes that we have to go see it; we have to put our footprint on it; we have to scatter our debris around and say ‘yes we were here’. We need a Mark Watney to be lost on Mars so we have something to cheer for that brings us together as a species.
Besides book reviews I also have started writing movie reviews. These can be found at my blog http://jeffreykeeten.com/
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Reading Progress
February 23, 2014
–
Started Reading
February 23, 2014
– Shelved
February 25, 2014
–
Finished Reading
May 18, 2015
– Shelved as:
science-fiction
June 29, 2016
– Shelved as:
book-to-film
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message 51:
by
samira esha
(new)
-
rated it 5 stars
Jul 02, 2014 10:41AM
![samira esha](https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_25x33-ccd24e68f4773d33a41ce08c3a34892e.png)
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![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
I really appreciate you reading my review even though it is a book that isn't a good fit for you. Thank you for your kind words Caroline!
![Michelle](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1396617004p1/27900863.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
I really liked this book. It was full of humor and science. An impressive debut from Andy Weir. Thanks Michelle I know with those childhood dreams still percolating in your head this book will be a big hit with you.
![Cecily](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1480285828p1/1199525.jpg)
You need WD40 as well!
![description](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1404416436i/10235370._SX540_.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
You need WD40 as well!
"
Absolutely Cecily! I always have a can primed and ready. WD40 is amazing stuff.
![Margitte](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1650004119p1/7481492.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
I felt the same way. I can only imagine the overwhelming feeling of my eminent demise. The only logical thinking would be to believe that the circumstances were hopeless. Not Watney, he had doubts, he had setbacks, but he just became more and more determined to figure out how to survive. I found the experience inspirational. Don't shut down, let your brain work and maybe just maybe a miracle will happen.
![Carol Mello](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1495336740p1/23846607.jpg)
Thank you!
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
T..."
You are most welcome Carol! If you like science, low brow humor, and a great piece of storytelling you will love this book. Thanks Carol!
![Jacque](https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/f_25x33-d79c46f9428d2aea1444d67c091766a6.png)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
It is a fun book with unexpected depth. You are most welcome. I'm so glad you enjoyed the book. I had the same issue with this book. It kept me reading late as well. :-)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
You are most welcome! Thank you for reading my review!
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ue4PC..."
Wow! Thanks Paul! I'm hoping they can capture the humor along with the drama in the movie.
![Cecily](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1480285828p1/1199525.jpg)
"Weir convinced me that Watney could live on Mars for over a year" - quite an achievement, despite the "lowbrow humor". ;)
(I read your comment #50 and was about to track down the Duct Tape/WD40 flowchart, but see that I've already done so!)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
"Weir convinced me that Watney could live on Mars for over a year" - quite an achievement, despite the "lowbrow humor". ;)
(I read yo..."
Thanks Cecily! I'm glad you read it. I am a little surprised as it seems a little outside your normal reading scope. I'm so happy you enjoyed it! The lowbrow humor works so well because it is so tongue in cheek. Someone too serious, in my opinion, would have folded up the tent long before rescue was possible.
![Cecily](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1480285828p1/1199525.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
Exactly! I don't judge books all on one scale. I judge them by what their intent is. This book fulfilled the intent and what a refreshingly enjoyable read!
![Steve](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1291695844p1/236411.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
I have a feeling he'd be undeterred. Teeth come to mind. *shudder*
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
Thanks Erwin! This was the most pleasant surprise of the year. I hope to get a chance to see the movie in a couple of weeks.
![Erwin](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1521018362p1/21812440.jpg)
Thanks Erwin! This was the most pleasant surprise of the year. I hope to get a chance to see the movie in a couple of weeks."
Me too!
![Cecily](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1480285828p1/1199525.jpg)
"How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
"How do you keep an idiot in suspense?""
Ha! I often find myself in these circumstances on GR especially with the influx of youngsters who are now kindle users and thus GR participants. Or maybe I'm not down with the new jive. :-)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
This review is one small step for Jeffrey, but one giant leap for mank..."
This book is an odd mixture of low brow humor and high tech science. It was pure pleasure to read. Thanks Sabah! You are the queen of wit!
Oh and in a post-apocalyptic situation take the duct tape over the printing press, but hide the printing press somewhere safe because eventually you will need it to rebuild the world.
![Sarah](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1633702839p1/18894476.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
I completely agree what a refreshing reading experience. I'm glad you loved the review! :-) It was a lot of fun to write.
![Sarah](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1633702839p1/18894476.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
Best kind of review to get to write!
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
It is one of the best books I've read in a long time. I'm glad you enjoyed it Ronyell!
![Sikata](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1527970250p1/31789152.jpg)
![Jeffrey Keeten](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1675636329p1/3427339.jpg)
This book was a blast. Truly a blast. I feel like we are lacking a goal to achieve that next big thing. I'm so glad you liked this one Sikata!
![Jim](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1668721790p1/1237540.jpg)
I've only seen the film - which simplified the life support challenges to food only - and was discrete about excretions.
I didn't find a search utility on your blog - so didn't read your review of the film, hence a couple questions:
Did the novel cover the reroute of the mother ship - and the use of a "supercomputer" to calculate the orbital ballistics? The film made a serious technical error to portray the supercomputer-calculation. Most of us have the requisite computing power at home - never mind 40-plus years later. Plus, the crew "mutinied" to divert to a rescue mission - thye could have don'e the calculations on board.
That's not so egrigious.
What was egrigious was that on NPR the film makers promoted the "techinical oversight" to avoid scientific implausibilities.
They admitted that "wind on Mars" was an exception - done for "dramatic purposes" - one they resorted to only twice.
Did the novel claim to use solar panels to power the base (as implied in the film)?
This one is spectacular. Even admitting a 100% conversion light-electric, the reduced solar brightness (solar flux) on Mars would exert a severe mass-penalty - one that would bankrupt the most well-funded Mars effort.
Anyway, this book sounds like a fun read - thanks for the teaser!